Dave & Chuck the Freak begin a discussion about sex positions and Chuck reveals he doesn't think he would even be able to have sex.
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00:00so they surveyed several thousand women the story was on sexual satisfaction but one of the things
00:16that came up was the sex positions that women hate the most the octopus driver
00:24surprisingly no chuck that didn't make the list okay octopus driver let me keep it on my list then
00:31describe that i can't it's too dirty it's a top secret chuck
00:37it's a new take on the squid pilot yeah
00:42the octopus driver no intrigued lisa way
00:50did he pique your interest lisa of course i did
00:55do you remember how to do that move
00:59i don't think he's the one who talks about it all the time
01:05i'm just bringing up things that he brings up all the time
01:09lisa i don't know what goes on for me
01:12i don't think i could do doggie anymore
01:16what about missionary good old-fashioned missionary i think you got that one you can handle it
01:24about six pumps
01:26then i better flip over
01:29my sex muscles are weak
01:34she's got six pumps left in him
01:39that's it
01:40if i don't die on the seventh pump
01:43i'll be shocked
01:45what can you do
01:48i can jerk it
01:50i mean all day and all night
01:52i mean these things are so strong
01:54with a lady
01:55oh not much
01:56what could you do with a lady
01:57nothing
01:58like why is there a position you could still do with a lady like let's just say
02:02her her on top
02:04that's it
02:05her on top
02:05the lazy man's move
02:07her on top
02:08that is my favorite
02:09that's my favorite position
02:10you be you
02:12you do your thing
02:13do you until you're good
02:14make this as good as you can for yourself
02:17you take the wheel
02:19jesus take the wheel
02:20yeah
02:20no that's about it
02:22that's my position
02:23oh god
02:28chuck
02:28what can you do
02:31do you have any recollection of being able to do this
02:35octopus driver
02:36oh i think there was a day
02:42when i might have been able to do it
02:45it's been so long i don't even know if i've actually done it
02:50or if it was just like a thing you're imagining
02:53imagination you know
02:54oh maybe it's good you're out of the sex game
02:57it's
02:57it is i guess apparently
02:59i'd have to really ease back in
03:02you know what i mean
03:02i'd have to really
03:03take it slow
03:04no
03:05i'd have to ease
03:06yeah
03:07it's like training
03:08like almost
03:09you have to do a little bit
03:10you're like an astronaut
03:11you're like an astronaut that's been in space
03:12and your muscles
03:12exactly
03:13deteriorated
03:14yeah atrophy
03:15they've got
03:15all my sex muscles
03:17i should write a book from couch to 5k
03:21but it's like
03:22from the couch to sex
03:24oh no chuck
03:32it is man
03:34and i'm like just an astronaut that just crash landed into the ocean after a year in space
03:39i'm like don't don't he looks like a giraffe being born
03:43somebody has to actually carry you from place to place
03:46that's what i look like in the bedroom
03:51where do you want me
03:54i feel like there should be some like sad music
03:57no man i'm having sex
04:00i bet this is everything you ever imagine
04:07jump on up here
04:13easy now easy
04:15oh no
04:16no
04:17oh my leg is cramped
04:19chuck the freak shows you how to go from zero to hero
04:23don't get a cramp
04:24drink plenty of water
04:25oh my god yeah
04:26eat a banana
04:27potassium
04:28yeah
04:29you'd be able to handle doggy style though
04:33even i mean at this stage
04:34i don't
04:34no i don't think so
04:35no
04:36it's just basically bumping
04:37i know
04:37but uh
04:38am i standing
04:39am i kneeling
04:41am i uh
04:42am i lined up right
04:44how many am i
04:45how many of my muscles am i using at one time
04:48oh boy
04:50i don't know man
04:51well
04:52i mean i'd have to just sit at home
04:55just like i'm getting back in the game
04:57what you want
04:57you'd have to go to like sex physiotherapy or something
04:59i'd fall
05:01you'd need a personal sex trainer to kind of work you back up to
05:04i would
05:04no i would
05:05if you're ever
05:06puff puff puff
05:08ten more
05:09ten more
05:10i can't
05:11i can't do ten more
05:13you can do this
05:14you can do this
05:15spot me
05:17oh god no
05:19help him my butt out
05:19tag me out
05:20james is spotting me in my sex moves
05:25i gotcha
05:25i gotcha
05:26thank you james
05:27chuck's a freak
05:28back in the game
05:29yeah james would definitely be my sex
05:31um
05:32workout partner
05:33watch your postures chuck
05:34yeah exactly
05:35you're gonna pull a hammy
05:36yep
05:36your personal sex trainer
05:37that's who he is
05:38james
05:38he'll get you back in the game
05:40he'll get you back in the game
06:00you