The conspiracy crowd must be disappointed after the release of the JFK assassination files, the widespread hoax known as Gonzaga is headed to the NCAA College Basketball Tournament despite any evidence that the school exists, reported cases of measles in Texas and New Mexico now stands at more than 300, people who are upset with Elon Musk have been vandalizing Teslas and Tesla dealerships, Trump had what he described as a “very good” phone call with President Zelensky, he claims there is no country more difficult to work with than Canada, Steve Bannon is gunning for another Trump run in 2028, and since some MAGA nuts think Trump should be put on Mount Rushmore, we sent a team down to South Florida to ask some of his biggliest supporters if and why that head deserves to be there.
SUBSCRIBE to get the latest #Kimmel: http://bit.ly/JKLSubscribe
Follow Jimmy Kimmel on Instagram: https://bit.ly/KimmelInstagram
Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on Instagram: http://bit.ly/JKLInstagram
Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on TikTok: https://bit.ly/JKLTikTok
Like Jimmy Kimmel on Facebook: http://bit.ly/KimmelFB
Like Jimmy Kimmel Live on Facebook: http://bit.ly/JKLFacebook
Visit the Jimmy Kimmel Live Website : http://bit.ly/JKLWebsite
About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy® nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is well known for its viral video successes, with over 16 billion views and more than 19 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Lie Witness News, Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge, Jimmy and Cousin Sal pranking Aunt Chippy and music stars like Rihanna and Dua Lipa surprising Jimmy in the middle of the night.
SUBSCRIBE to get the latest #Kimmel: http://bit.ly/JKLSubscribe
Follow Jimmy Kimmel on Instagram: https://bit.ly/KimmelInstagram
Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on Instagram: http://bit.ly/JKLInstagram
Follow Jimmy Kimmel Live on TikTok: https://bit.ly/JKLTikTok
Like Jimmy Kimmel on Facebook: http://bit.ly/KimmelFB
Like Jimmy Kimmel Live on Facebook: http://bit.ly/JKLFacebook
Visit the Jimmy Kimmel Live Website : http://bit.ly/JKLWebsite
About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy® nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is well known for its viral video successes, with over 16 billion views and more than 19 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Lie Witness News, Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge, Jimmy and Cousin Sal pranking Aunt Chippy and music stars like Rihanna and Dua Lipa surprising Jimmy in the middle of the night.
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00I'm Jimmy Fallon.
00:03Thank you for joining us.
00:04Please relax in glorious Hollywood, California.
00:08I'm tired.
00:08I didn't get much sleep last night.
00:11I read all 64,000 pages of the JFK files last night.
00:15Turns out, he was murdered.
00:20I would imagine that the conspiracy crowd
00:22is none too pleased today.
00:23I'm not sure we learned anything from these documents
00:26other than the names and social security
00:28numbers of government workers, many of whom
00:30are still alive and about to find out what it's like
00:32to have their identity stolen.
00:34But who cares, right?
00:36Trump said no redactions, so no redactions.
00:39These files appear to support the widely held belief
00:43that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
00:45There's no evidence of a second gunman, which
00:47means Ted Cruz's father's off the hook.
00:49That's good.
00:51All Trump did, really, was make a big mess, really.
00:53These are basically the same files
00:55Biden released two years ago.
00:57But these were totally disorganized.
00:59Apparently, Trump surprised his people with this.
01:01National security officials had to pull an all-nighter
01:04after Dopey announced on Monday that he would release
01:07the files the next day.
01:09Suddenly, they had 24 hours to get it together.
01:11And they did get it.
01:12Great hustle, guys.
01:13And hey, now that we know how fast you are,
01:15let's see those Epstein files you promised.
01:17I mean, I bet.
01:20I mean, I'm not a betting man, but I
01:23would bet they'll take time to make redactions from those.
01:27The files I want to see released have nothing to do with Jane.
01:30The files I want to see are related to a conspiracy
01:33that I've been following since 2019,
01:36involving an imaginary college that only
01:39seems to come to life at this time of the year.
01:41The widespread hoax known as Gonzaga University
01:45is once again going to the NCAA college basketball
01:48tournament, despite any shred of evidence that a school exists.
01:53They claim it's up in Spokane, Washington.
01:55I've seen no evidence of it.
01:57Go to Google.
01:58Search Gonzaga.
01:59All you'll get are basketball videos.
02:01It is an imaginary school.
02:04They made up to win basketball games.
02:06And they're all in on it.
02:07This is from the local news up there.
02:09And this will show you the lengths
02:11these people will go to to keep this charade afloat.
02:14The Bulldogs are going to the NCAA tournament.
02:17They found out yesterday on selection Sunday
02:20that they'll be traveling to Wichita, Kansas,
02:22as an eighth seed to take on Georgia.
02:25All right, now, first of all, that video was shot in 1984.
02:30There's no way that woman was on TV this week.
02:33That was recorded on a Betamax in the 80s.
02:37That lady's 90 years old now.
02:39So they dig up this video.
02:41They shot who knows when.
02:43And then they go live to the Spokane airport.
02:46Well, traveling can be stressful for anybody.
02:48That's why we took some time to do
02:50a little bit of the homework for the people at home who
02:52might find themselves in lines later.
02:54We know it's empty now, but probably in lines
02:57later in the week, heading to Wichita to watch the Zags.
03:00Oh, wow, look at everyone gathering.
03:03There's no one in line because no one goes to the school.
03:06There are no alumni.
03:08There are no students.
03:09And we're falling for it again.
03:10Can you believe this, Guillermo?
03:12We sent you up there a few years ago.
03:14You investigated this.
03:15And what did you learn?
03:17It's not real, Jimmy.
03:18It is not real.
03:19Not real.
03:20That's right.
03:21You know what is real, unfortunately?
03:22Measles.
03:23The reported case of measles in Texas and New Mexico
03:26now stands at more than 300.
03:28That's more measles than we had all of last year.
03:31And we're only halfway through March.
03:32Hmm, what is it that changed from this year to last?
03:36It's hard to put a finger on, but at least 15 states
03:39have been hit by the outbreak.
03:41We even had two people here in LA diagnosed with measles.
03:44And guess what?
03:45They're here with us tonight.
03:48Guys, where are you?
03:49Please stand up and take a bow.
03:51There they are.
03:52Hey!
03:55What are your names?
03:57I'm Luke.
03:57I'm Teddy.
03:58Luke and Teddy, and how are you guys feeling?
04:01Not too good.
04:03Did the doctor tell you it's OK to be in crowds?
04:05He did not.
04:06OK.
04:07Well, we're happy to have you here anyway.
04:09If you want to say hello to some of your people
04:11you're sitting next to, go right ahead.
04:12Yeah, there you go.
04:16I mean, hug if you like.
04:17That's Luke and Teddy, everybody.
04:20The measles twin.
04:22You know, between measles, Donald Trump,
04:28Elon Musk, and this NCAA tournament,
04:30this might be the maddest march we've ever had.
04:33There have been several incidents of people
04:35who are upset with Elon Musk vandalizing
04:38Teslas and Tesla dealerships.
04:41This incident happened just outside San Diego.
04:43This is what Tesla employees in Encinitas saw when
04:46they arrived to work today.
04:47The vandalism is too graphic to show in its entirety.
04:51We blurred out the swastika on this white Tesla,
04:53as well as the F word on two different windows
04:55in front of the dealership.
04:57OK, well, it seems like maybe the guy who's
04:59in charge of blurring the bad words missed.
05:03They took a slightly offensive word, scum,
05:06and made it into a very offensive word.
05:10Well done.
05:11Several Teslas have had swastikas painted on them,
05:14and not only is that vandalism, it is also
05:16a violation of Kanye's trademark and has to stop.
05:20There have even been incidents of arson.
05:22Someone lit a bunch of Teslas on fire.
05:25And here's the thing, I get that people are upset.
05:27Burning a car might not be great for the environment.
05:30I don't think that's what they had in mind when they
05:32invented the electric car.
05:33In Las Vegas yesterday, someone threw a Molotov cocktail
05:37at a Tesla service center.
05:38At least five Teslas blew up, one from the Molotov,
05:42and four because that's just what Teslas do sometimes.
05:45And no one should be setting fires.
05:47You could kill somebody, you could hurt somebody.
05:49Elon Musk might not care about other people,
05:52but decent Americans should.
05:54The world's richest man has been trying to drum
05:59up sympathy for himself lately.
06:01His sales are down, his stock is down.
06:03Last night, he was somber as he went
06:05through this with Sean Hannity.
06:06Tesla is a peaceful company.
06:07We've never done anything awful.
06:09I've never done anything awful.
06:11I've only done productive things.
06:12So I think we just have a deranged,
06:18there's some kind of mental illness thing going on here,
06:20because this doesn't make any sense.
06:22Well, let me see if I can explain it for you.
06:25When you pull out a chainsaw to celebrate
06:28firing thousands of people, they get mad.
06:30It's just a, you know, my god, I mean, this poor guy.
06:38You do one, maybe two Nazi salutes,
06:41everybody gets all bent out of shape.
06:44Donald Trump today had what he described
06:45as a very good phone call with President Zelensky of Ukraine.
06:49All his calls are either very good or perfect.
06:51At this point, Zelensky, this guy's
06:53been part of more unpleasant phone calls
06:55than Ghostface from Scream.
06:57Yesterday, Trump said he had a great call with his buddy
07:01Vladimir Putin, and that Putin agreed
07:03to a ceasefire on bombing Ukrainian energy facilities.
07:07He said he would stop, and then a few hours later,
07:09Russia launched attacks on, any guesses?
07:12That's right, Ukrainian energy facilities.
07:15The best dealmaker in the world.
07:16He really is.
07:17Trump also revealed that he's had multiple phone
07:19conversations with Putin, not just with Putin.
07:21He had five on Valentine's Day, very romantic.
07:24And they also, they watched the White Lotus Sunday
07:27and said they wished they were together
07:29for the brother's kissing part.
07:31This whole idea of Putin just taking Ukraine,
07:36it seems to have inspired Trump, who
07:39now, it seems like, wants to do that himself.
07:42Here's my problem with Canada.
07:44Canada was meant to be the 51st state.
07:47Any one of our-
07:48But you're tougher with Canada than you are
07:49with some of our biggest adversaries, right?
07:51Only because it's meant to be our 51st state.
07:54Okay, but we need-
07:55No, no, but listen to this for a second.
07:56We need their territory, they have territorial advantage.
07:58We're not gonna let them get close to China.
08:01Look, I deal with every country, indirectly or directly.
08:04One of the nastiest countries to deal with is Canada.
08:08Oh yeah, let me tell you, you see it right now,
08:12there are no nastier people than the Canadians.
08:16Starting with that bastard, Michael J. Fox.
08:19Just, listen, you'd be nasty if you lived
08:22above a meth lab run by a loud, stupid landlord too, okay?
08:27I don't know how we're gonna make it through
08:29four years of this.
08:31Or even more, perhaps, if the human bag of wet garbage
08:34known as Steve Bannon has his way.
08:37President Trump, I'm a firm believer
08:38that President Trump will run and win again in 2028.
08:42So I've already endorsed President Trump.
08:45A man like this comes along once every century,
08:48if we're lucky, we've got him now, he's on fire,
08:50and I'm a huge supporter, wanna see him again in 2028.
08:54Oh, you know he's term limited.
08:55How do you think he gets another term?
08:58We're working on it.
09:01That was podcast host slash convicted felon Steve Bannon
09:05on his plans to defile the Constitution.
09:07Once upon a time, when you said stuff like that,
09:09you were considered to be un-American.
09:11I hope they do it, though.
09:12I hope they make it so you can run for three terms.
09:14I hope that happens and Obama comes back and beats his ass.
09:17Because...
09:21But for now, we just have to avoid
09:24getting tired of all the winning.
09:25One thing you can say about Trump,
09:27no president ever has a more blindly obsequious fan base.
09:30We're not even three months into his second term,
09:33some of these nuts are pushing to get his face
09:35added to Mount Rushmore.
09:37Homeland Security Chief and puppy poacher,
09:39Christine Noem, gave Trump a little sculpture of himself
09:42on Mount Rushmore.
09:44It's so embarrassing.
09:45Why anybody would think he belongs on a mountain
09:48with George Washington and Abraham Lincoln is beyond me,
09:52but allegedly people do.
09:53So to verify this, we sent a team down
09:56to the heart of Trump country, the Florida Panhandle,
09:59by the shore of the Gulf of America
10:01to ask some of his bigliest supporters
10:03if and why that head deserves to be on Mount Rushmore.
10:11People are so excited about Trump,
10:12they wanna put him on Mount Rushmore.
10:14Do you support that?
10:15Absolutely.
10:16It'd be exciting.
10:17Absolutely.
10:17People have said they want Trump on Mount Rushmore.
10:20Absolutely.
10:21Yeah, I would like to see his face on it for sure.
10:24I mean, he has made some changes
10:26and I feel like it's gonna be greater changes
10:28in the upcoming year, so I wouldn't mind to see it.
10:31I think he should have the biggest face
10:33on Mount Rushmore, okay?
10:35Do you think Trump's head should be bigger than Lincoln?
10:37I think whoever actually had a big head
10:40should have the bigger head.
10:42And Trump had the biggest?
10:44I guess.
10:46Who would you replace him with?
10:47If I had to pick one of them to get on me off?
10:51Probably Andrew Jackson.
10:53Why?
10:54I mean, I feel like out of the other four,
10:56he's probably like the least well-known,
10:59probably the least symbolic, if that makes sense.
11:01And he's already not on there.
11:02Oh, he's not?
11:03No.
11:05Who can you name on here?
11:07I'm gonna be honest,
11:08that looks nothing like Mount Rushmore.
11:11Like the face is, one of them's Andrew Jackson, right?
11:14George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt.
11:19Is this the hot one?
11:20Yes.
11:21Yes.
11:22Which is the hot one?
11:22Alexander Hamilton.
11:26When was he president?
11:29Before I was born.
11:31What did Lincoln really accomplish anyway?
11:33Why is he up there?
11:35I have no clue to be real.
11:37What do you think he actually accomplished?
11:38I don't remember too much,
11:40but I do know that he did have slaves.
11:42And it was, I do know that he was with like,
11:46oh, the abonishment of slaves and stuff.
11:49So I do like that.
11:49I think like him with the abonishment
11:51of slaves and stuff is good.
11:53Yeah.
11:54Do you think Trump would support the abonishment?
11:56I don't think he would disagree with the abonishment.
11:58What state is Mount Rushmore in?
12:01That's in North Dakota.
12:03Washington.
12:04Wyoming.
12:06Nevada.
12:07Do you know where it is, Mount Rushmore?
12:10A mountain.
12:12Do you know what state it's in?
12:13Colorado.
12:15If you put one woman on Rushmore, who would it be?
12:19Rosa Parks.
12:20Nice, and why Rosa Parks?
12:22Okay, so I guess apparently her boyfriend
12:25had a car at the time.
12:27Yeah, I learned that recently.
12:28But I feel like she still, she still stood her ground.
12:31So, you know, a lot of people are like,
12:33oh, she didn't even have to be on the bus.
12:35Her boyfriend did it to us, so that was all pointless.
12:37But I still don't think that was pointless.
12:39I feel like there shouldn't,
12:41I feel like race doesn't matter.
12:43She didn't need a man, you know?
12:44Yeah, exactly.
12:45So she still stood her point,
12:46and I feel like that was very noble of her.
12:49Yeah, she's pro mass transit.
12:52Visit Mount Rushmore
12:53in the great state of?
12:55North Dakota.
12:56Washington.
12:57Wyoming.
12:57A mountain.
12:58Nobody knows, and there's no way to tell.
13:00God bless wherever we are.