URDU PODCAST-NOUMAN ALI KHAN What’s Wrong with Loneliness in Life
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00:00If you don't do this, Allah will be angry with you.
00:02If Allah's anger was connected to a person's anger,
00:06then all of us would have gone to hell.
00:08Because one day, your parents are angry,
00:11which means Allah is angry.
00:12Tomorrow you will be a parent,
00:13if you are angry, your child will go to hell.
00:16So we send the entire generation to hell.
00:18Parents say, if you don't listen to me, Allah will be angry.
00:21So accept this relationship, otherwise Allah will be angry.
00:24Or do this job, don't do that job, otherwise Allah will be angry.
00:27Because my consent is Allah's consent, right?
00:30In these matters, the parents who are connected to Allah,
00:35this is a type of polytheism in my opinion.
00:37And this is a very big sin.
00:38That you are either a perfect Muslim,
00:40or you will go straight to hell.
00:42So what's the balance?
00:43Don't be afraid of people.
00:45Don't care about people, care about me, Allah says.
00:48In India and Pakistan, people know how to read Arabic,
00:52but they don't understand it.
00:54Until you don't develop a thirst in you,
00:56if you start reading Arabic tomorrow, you will leave it the day after.
01:00If you read it for three days, you will quit.
01:01To increase that thirst, you will have to spend time with the Quran.
01:05So that you realize what you are being deprived of.
01:16Ustad, out of the 99 names of Allah,
01:20which is the name that is closest to your heart?
01:24The name that is closest to my heart?
01:26In that name, the foundation of our relationship with Allah is in it.
01:33And if you look at it in one way,
01:35the other names of Allah are the manifestation of that name.
01:38It is Allah Himself.
01:39But His first attribute, in my opinion,
01:42is His Lordship.
01:45You will understand it as His mercy, His forgiveness.
01:48Because if you only think that Allah is the one who forgives, right?
01:53But His forgiveness is for His servant.
01:57Meaning, He is forgiving as a Lord.
01:59Mercy is mercy as a Lord.
02:02When you remove the word Lord,
02:06then you say, why doesn't Allah have mercy on me?
02:08Meaning, you become entitled to say,
02:11I also have a right, right?
02:13What goes out of your mind is that He is the Lord.
02:16Then when that attitude goes away,
02:18then you become an Ahmd and that also goes away.
02:24So, Ustad, an image of a perfect Muslim has been made.
02:29And anyone who doesn't fit that mould,
02:32he is criticized a lot.
02:34And also, a religious superiority is seen in people
02:40who, if they start practicing a little bit of religion,
02:43they start considering others to be low.
02:45So basically the concept is like,
02:47you are either a perfect Muslim or you will go straight to hell.
02:51So what's the balance?
02:52I see two opposite ends to every extreme.
02:56One extreme is that if your appearance is not like this,
02:59then you are a hell-bender or you have a lack of something, right?
03:03On the other hand, what is its overreaction?
03:06Yes, I don't do things that good Muslims do.
03:09But don't judge me.
03:11I have the faith of Allah in my heart.
03:14Who are you to tell me what Islam is?
03:16I have my own relationship with Allah.
03:19On the one hand, there are some people
03:21who follow some of Allah's commandments
03:24and present themselves according to them.
03:26And then they say,
03:27on the basis of this, they are better than us.
03:29On the other hand, people say,
03:31these people think they are so good,
03:33I will die and I will not look like them.
03:35And yet I am a Muslim.
03:36In fact, I am a better Muslim than them.
03:38The arrogance in them,
03:40the way people react to it,
03:42they also have the same arrogance.
03:45What is the main path?
03:46Look, someone's praise or criticism,
03:52as long as someone's praise or criticism
03:55has an effect on your Islam,
03:58that Islam is not actually yours
04:00and it is the result of people's comments.
04:02You do not have a relationship with Allah.
04:04You have a relationship with people and society.
04:06If someone says,
04:08once a girl met me and said,
04:11I used to wear a hijab, I don't wear it anymore.
04:13I said, why don't you wear it?
04:14She said, my mother forced me to wear it.
04:16So now I feel bad.
04:18I get upset when I see the hijab.
04:20I said, your relationship with the hijab
04:23has nothing to do with Allah.
04:25It has nothing to do with your mother.
04:27The problem is,
04:28as long as you do not separate all creatures
04:34from your relationship with Allah,
04:36whether someone likes it or not,
04:38she will say, if I wear it now,
04:40my mother will feel that she has won.
04:43When you are wearing the hijab,
04:46you do not have Allah in your mind.
04:48You have your mother.
04:49Do not become her point.
04:51I will not let my mother win.
04:52She bothered me a lot.
04:54You have a reaction going on in your mind.
04:57You have people in your mind.
04:59Do not be afraid of people.
05:04Do not care about people.
05:06Care about me.
05:08This is a disconnection that you have to develop.
05:12The younger generation
05:14has a lot of criticism in social media.
05:17They keep looking at what people say.
05:20The more you look at it,
05:22the more weight it will carry in your life.
05:25I say this about myself,
05:29not about anyone else.
05:32If someone says something bad to me,
05:34keep saying it.
05:35If someone praises me, keep doing it.
05:37Neither is his praise increasing my respect,
05:39nor is his insult increasing my need.
05:41There are some special people in my life
05:43whom I trust so much.
05:46When they say that you are doing something wrong,
05:49or you are doing something right,
05:51it has an effect on me.
05:53The rest,
05:54their praise or criticism is the same.
05:57It has no effect on me.
05:59Because it has no value.
06:01Because they do not know me.
06:03When outsiders,
06:04who do not even know you,
06:05what are your struggles,
06:06what are your intentions,
06:07they are judging you.
06:08Why do you have to give them a headache?
06:11This only means that
06:13you have unnecessarily
06:14connected other relationships
06:16with Allah's relationship.
06:18You will have to do that.
06:20This is called sincerity.
06:23You should not let other people
06:25dictate their relationship with Allah.
06:29They have no role in that.
06:31If I am praying,
06:32and no one is watching,
06:33what difference will it make to me?
06:36I am not praying for anyone else.
06:38I am praying for my Lord.
06:40This is the same thing
06:41in every matter of Islam.
06:42Not just in prayer,
06:43but in every matter.
06:44Why am I praying for someone else?
06:46laa na khaafoo fil laahi lawmata laahim
06:48laa yaa khaafoo naa fil laahi lawmata laahim
06:50The Quran also says
06:51laa yaa khaafoo naa fil laahi lawmata laahim
06:53If someone else
06:54criticizes you,
06:55you are not afraid of them.
06:57You know?
06:58Very well said.
06:59In India and Pakistan,
07:01people know how to read Arabic,
07:03but they do not understand it.
07:05This is how our education system
07:07has been since childhood.
07:10So, most of us are now
07:12in our 20s, 30s, 40s,
07:14and we are nowhere.
07:17So, where can we start
07:19understanding the Quran,
07:21reading it,
07:22or understanding Arabic,
07:24so that at least
07:25we can gain some knowledge
07:26in our lives?
07:28In my opinion,
07:29reading Arabic is a different level.
07:32Reading Arabic is a difficult task,
07:34and it requires a lot of hard work.
07:36For that,
07:37you need to have a very serious
07:39willpower,
07:40intention,
07:41and motivation.
07:42Where will that come from?
07:43First of all,
07:44I say that if a person
07:45starts reading the Quran,
07:46starts listening to its lectures,
07:48starts trying to understand the Quran,
07:50and tries to read and understand it
07:52without Arabic,
07:54then he will have a desire
07:56to understand the Quran
07:58without any translation
08:00or without anyone explaining it to him.
08:02Until you develop that desire,
08:04if you start reading Arabic
08:06tomorrow,
08:07you will leave it the day after.
08:08You will read it for 3 days
08:09and then quit.
08:10To increase that desire,
08:12you will have to spend time
08:13with the Quran first,
08:14so that you realize
08:15what it is that you are
08:16being deprived of.
08:18You don't realize
08:19what you are missing.
08:22So, that is first,
08:24and after that,
08:25Inshallah,
08:26in my opinion,
08:27this also has to do
08:29with time management.
08:30People tell me
08:31that I started reading Arabic
08:32and then I left it.
08:33What should I do?
08:34I say,
08:35I will never tell you
08:36what to do.
08:37It is not possible.
08:38Because if you left it,
08:39then you ask yourself
08:40why you left it.
08:41Why should I tell you?
08:42Why didn't I ever
08:43go and tell anyone
08:44that I left it,
08:45you tell me what to do.
08:46Please motivate me.
08:47If I didn't give myself
08:48an excuse,
08:49why should I give it to you?
08:51In the hadith,
08:52it is said that
08:53none of you have faith
08:54until you like something
08:55for your brother
08:56that he likes for himself.
08:58Right?
08:59What do I like for myself?
09:00No excuses.
09:01So why should I
09:02like excuses for you?
09:04I never thought
09:05that I should go
09:06and motivate someone
09:07so that I can read.
09:08I never thought
09:09that I should go
09:10and tell someone
09:11that I left it.
09:12So this is a sign
09:13of a very weak personality
09:14that until you
09:15don't put a fire
09:16in my heart,
09:17that fire will not be lit.
09:18Allah has created you.
09:19Allah has put
09:20his soul in you.
09:21Is that a weak thing?
09:22You are insulting him.
09:23You are insulting him.
09:24You are insulting him.
09:25You are insulting him.
09:26You are insulting him.
09:27You are insulting him.
09:28You are insulting him.
09:29You are insulting him.
09:30You know?
09:31So until
09:32a person doesn't
09:33value himself,
09:34he comes from outside
09:35and says,
09:36someone come and
09:37help me.
09:38And this helplessness
09:39that Puran has
09:40made a scene of.
09:41I completely
09:42deny that.
09:43You are completely
09:44capable.
09:45You have
09:46discipline,
09:47determination
09:48and ability.
09:49You have all these things.
09:50You are just lying to yourself
09:51that you are
09:52helpless,
09:53you are lazy,
09:54you are this and that.
09:55You can lie to yourself
09:56but you cannot
09:57lie to Allah
09:59So basically
10:00until we don't
10:01leave ourselves,
10:02the Quran journey
10:03or the Arabic journey
10:04doesn't start
10:05or complete.
10:06Until you don't
10:07become serious
10:08about yourself,
10:09you keep looking
10:10for motivational videos
10:11from here and there.
10:13So the determination
10:14is missing from within.
10:15Yeah.
10:16Yeah.
10:17And this religion
10:18is for those people
10:19who have the ability
10:20to make a firm decision.
10:23For example,
10:24the first nation
10:25that became Muslim,
10:26they made a very
10:27serious decision.
10:28They faced a lot
10:29of difficulties
10:30in their lives
10:31but they didn't
10:32give up.
10:33They made a decision
10:34and they did it.
10:35And this is our
10:36entire history.
10:37We are Muslims
10:38because we have
10:39determination.
10:40When you say
10:41I don't have it
10:42then you are
10:43lying to yourself.
10:47In the desi culture,
10:48the parenting style
10:49is that
10:50to control
10:51the children
10:52it is said
10:53that if you don't
10:54do this,
10:55Allah will be
10:56angry with you.
10:57Or if you
10:58make me angry,
10:59Allah will never
11:00forgive you.
11:01So these kids
11:02grow up to be
11:03individuals
11:04who run away
11:05from Allah.
11:06They don't have
11:07any relationship
11:08with Allah
11:09and they think
11:10Allah is just
11:11an inspector
11:12who is only
11:13there to give
11:14punishment.
11:15Is this parenting
11:16style okay?
11:17If Allah's
11:18anger was
11:19connected to
11:20a person's anger
11:21then we would
11:22all be going
11:23to hell.
11:24Because one day
11:25you will be
11:26a parent
11:27and if you
11:28get angry
11:29then your
11:30child will
11:31go to hell.
11:32So we
11:33send our
11:34entire generation
11:35to hell
11:36because
11:37the entire
11:38population
11:39of the world
11:40will be
11:41a parent
11:42one day.
11:43Everyone's
11:44anger
11:45becomes
11:46Allah's
11:47anger.
11:48Allah has
11:49stated
11:50what Allah
11:51likes
11:52and what
11:53he doesn't
11:54like.
11:55He has
11:56told me
11:57to treat
11:58my parents
11:59well.
12:00But he
12:01didn't say
12:02I won't
12:03be happy
12:04with you
12:05until
12:06your parents
12:07are happy
12:08with you.
12:09He didn't
12:10tell me
12:11to make
12:12my parents
12:13happy.
12:14This is
12:15a difference.
12:16It is
12:17possible
12:18to treat
12:19your parents
12:20well
12:21but
12:22they
12:23will
12:24say
12:25you
12:26have
12:27been
12:28very
12:29rude
12:30to me.
12:31You are
12:32telling the
12:33truth
12:34and you
12:35are being
12:36accused
12:37of being
12:38rude.
12:39A person
12:40doesn't
12:41like anything
12:42about you.
12:43They
12:44will
12:45say
12:46that
12:47they
12:48can't
12:49sell
12:50alcohol.
12:51Allah
12:52will
12:53not
12:54be
12:55angry
12:56with
12:57me.
12:58This
12:59is one
13:00of the
13:01biggest
13:02ignorance
13:03of our
13:04nation.
13:05Our
13:06religion
13:07has a
13:08high
13:09status
13:10of parents
13:11but it
13:12is not
13:13connected
13:14to Allah
13:15as we
13:16have.
13:17Why do
13:18people
13:19use this?
13:20Parents
13:21who
13:22are
13:23connected
13:24to Allah
13:25are a
13:26type of
13:27shirk.
13:28It is a
13:29big sin
13:30and a
13:31big oppression
13:32because
13:33Allah
13:34cannot
13:35forbid
13:36anything
13:37that
13:38Allah
13:39has
13:40forbidden.
13:41If
13:42I am
13:43doing
13:44something
13:45that
13:46Allah
13:47is
13:48not
13:49angry
13:50with
13:51me,
13:52then
13:53I
13:54should
13:55not
13:56be
13:57affected.
13:58I am
13:59not
14:00talking
14:01about
14:02rebellion
14:03but
14:04parents
14:05have
14:06made
14:07themselves
14:08a new
14:09idol
14:10in
14:11our
14:12cultures.
14:13This
14:14has
14:15gone
14:16to the
14:17extreme.
14:18One
14:19of
14:20the
14:21reasons
14:22why
14:23we
14:24are
14:25left
14:26behind
14:27is
14:28that
14:29many
14:30parents
14:31are
14:32suffering
14:33from
14:34anxiety
14:35and
14:36depression.
14:37They
14:38are
14:39imposing
14:40this
14:41on
14:42their
14:43children
14:44to
14:45listen to
14:46them
14:47or
14:48listen
14:49to
14:50them.
14:51This
14:52is
14:53why
14:54many
14:55parents
14:56are
14:57left
14:58behind.
14:59They
15:00don't
15:01know
15:02what
15:03their
15:04rights
15:05and
15:06responsibilities
15:07are.
15:08They
15:09don't
15:10know
15:11what
15:12their
15:13rights
15:14and
15:15responsibilities
15:16are.
15:17They
15:18don't
15:19know
15:20what
15:21their
15:22rights
15:23and
15:24responsibilities
15:25are.
15:26This
15:27is
15:28why
15:29many
15:30parents
15:31are
15:32left
15:33behind.
15:34They
15:35don't
15:36know
15:37what
15:38their
15:39rights
15:40and
15:41responsibilities
15:42are.
15:43They
15:44don't
15:45know
15:46And it's easy to say that you're making connections with Allah, but what does that mean?
15:56It means that if you don't have a very big purpose in your heart and mind,
16:03which you're chasing, then your purpose becomes less than that.
16:11For example, if someone wants to join a sports team and is training day and night,
16:15he has a goal in mind to qualify for the team.
16:18He doesn't have time to sit and think, I'm lonely, I want to exercise,
16:22I want to train, I want to do this, I want to do that.
16:25And when he walks on that path, he will meet coaches,
16:28he will meet more athletes, he will meet more people who are in his way
16:31and he will become his company because his company is in the same cause.
16:36Just like people become friends at university because they are taking the same course.
16:40If you don't have a big purpose in your life,
16:43then the people around you, the connections you have with them are not based on a purpose.
16:49When you become purposeful, then purposeful people come into your life
16:53and those relationships become purposeful.
16:56The real problem for me is not loneliness, the real problem is purposelessness.
17:02Young people have a mission in their minds, I have to do this, I have to accomplish this,
17:05I have to get up and do this, whether someone else does it or not, I will do it.
17:08When you get up, other people will look at you and say,
17:10you have to do this, I also help them, I can also help, I can also help.
17:15So people will join you in a positive work, in a good work.
17:19And when you do this, then your real meaningful relationships will form.
17:24If you put a lower purpose in everything,
17:27what is the lower purpose? My viewership will increase.
17:31When I start doing a good work, first I turn on the camera, then I do a good work.
17:36Now your purpose is popularity, now your purpose is viewership.
17:40You don't have a real purpose.
17:42As long as you don't have a real purpose, these things will keep coming.
17:45But when these things become a purpose, then your relationships will also be like this.
17:50Because the purpose is low, your goal is low,
17:53then all relationships will also be low.
17:56When your goal is high, then relationships will also be high in your life.
18:01Inshallah.
18:03Thank you so much for your time, Mustafa.
18:05May Allah reward you for this.
18:07Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.
18:08Allah reward you, Allah protect you.
18:12What's happening right now is basically the dream of every young person from India and Pakistan.
18:18And it's actually an honor to sit with you today and ask you a few questions.
18:23What's different about today's generation compared to the previous generations?
18:29I think this generation is more informed.
18:32I think they're more aware of what's happening in the world.
18:34One regret that you do not want to have at your deathbed.
18:38Like Allah didn't put human beings on the earth to relax.
18:42He put us here to do something with our lives.
18:45You know, every breath every day is an opportunity Allah has given us to do something, to make something.
18:51Benefit yourself, benefit somebody else.
18:53But be purposeful, be intentful.
18:56And the young generation has a term called time pass.
19:01Oh, it's not a new term.
19:03I'm very familiar with time.
19:05I was Mr. Time Pass.
19:07Do you have any suggestion for the people so that they use their time wisely?