The Apprentice UK S01E06 (2005)
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TVTranscript
00:00Last week on The Apprentice.
00:07Two masturbation shots and one, um, you know...
00:10Buggery. Yeah, there was a lesbian orgy as well, don't forget.
00:13Sir Alan threw the candidates into the world of modern art.
00:17Each of you teams are going to choose one of Britain's up-and-coming artists.
00:21What is the average price that you sell your paintings for?
00:23That is amazing.
00:25Split into two teams, they had to exhibit and sell their artists' work
00:29for as much as possible.
00:30Mwah! Mwah!
00:32Sebastian's team sold well, fitting into the world of the elite art buyer.
00:36My name's James Max. I'm Oliver Rothschild.
00:39Hopefully you'll get to know this wonderful beaming face.
00:41Pleasure doing business with you.
00:43Rachel's team sold a good number of lower-priced paintings,
00:46but found the art world uncomfortable.
00:48I just felt a bit intimidated by them.
00:50I don't know. They obviously didn't fit their cultural fit.
00:52We didn't go to Goldsmiths College.
00:54They were divvied up beforehand.
00:56And they had to contend with Matthew's abrupt manner.
00:58Just go to the staff at the desk and apologise for the way you came into the store.
01:04In the boardroom, the results were announced.
01:07£19,560.
01:08Sebastian's team won, making over three times as much money as Rachel's.
01:14What you got to say?
01:15Paul, you said you're a salesman.
01:16You sold only £140 worth of gear.
01:19I can sell anything.
01:20I'm sorry to say, Paul, I don't agree with you.
01:22Four times I've been on the winning side.
01:23You came out with that statement.
01:25I'm not going to take responsibility for you...
01:26Sarah and Paul fell out, ending with an uneasy truce.
01:30You'll be fine. I'll see you later.
01:32Finally, Rachel chose Matthew and Paul to join her in the firing line.
01:36Paul, I had you down as a good salesman.
01:39A good salesman doesn't let a sale go away.
01:41I'm sorry you're sitting here, Paul.
01:43So am I.
01:44But, Matthew, you are an awkward character.
01:48I'm sorry to say, my friend, you're fired.
01:52Matthew became the fifth casualty of the boardroom.
01:56Now nine remain to fight for the chance to become the apprentice.
02:07At the house, the rest of the candidates wait to see
02:10who has survived the boardroom.
02:14Yay!
02:16Hooray!
02:18Yay!
02:19Big B!
02:21Oh, Rosewood!
02:23Come back, Rosie.
02:24Hello, Rosie.
02:26Hello, darling.
02:29Come on, darling.
02:31What happened?
02:33Come on, come on, guys.
02:34Take a seat. Tell us what happened.
02:36You're going to tell us a lot.
02:38I felt sorry for him.
02:39Yeah?
02:41You know, he should have either gone day one
02:44or never have shown up, really.
02:46But, yes, he was a bloody awkward bloke.
02:50But in a situation like that, it's a horrible situation.
02:55After the Harrods, we were on win number four.
02:58And, yeah, OK, you can get a little bit blasé thinking,
03:00not that you're going to win all the time,
03:01but you get used to winning and thinking,
03:02good, you know, our next task, let's win that and so on.
03:05And then all of a sudden you're picked before, you know,
03:07before the head man and you think,
03:09shit, you know, this is, you know, I could be going home any second.
03:11I could be going home.
03:12I think anybody who's got here and has lasted
03:14as long as we all have, it's going to get tougher.
03:17It's going to get even tougher.
03:18Because everybody around this table,
03:20we've all grown to like each other, respect each other,
03:23you know, all that sort of good stuff.
03:25It's going to get tougher.
03:35PHONE RINGS
03:37Hello?
03:38Francis here from Sir Alan's office.
03:40He'd like you to meet him this morning
03:42at the corner of St Anne's Road and Olav Street.
03:45He expects you to be there in 45 minutes.
03:47OK, thank you.
03:49Guys!
04:14Sir Alan is not here, but he's left them a message.
04:19BELL RINGS
04:22You might be wondering what you're doing on that bus.
04:25But you've obviously seen the advert down the side of it.
04:27Now, this task is all to do with advertising.
04:30And what's even more daunting for you
04:32is that I'm going to give you one of my products
04:35that you've got to produce an advertising campaign for.
04:38I want a press campaign, I want a TV campaign.
04:42As usual, the team that comes up with the best advertising campaign
04:46is going to win.
04:47The one that comes up with the worst one is going to lose
04:50and one of you is going to get fired.
04:55Next stop, Publicis, one of Britain's top advertising agencies.
05:03With the help of the agency's experts,
05:05the teams have just 36 hours to produce a 20-second TV commercial
05:10and a full-page press ad.
05:12First, each team has to pick a project manager.
05:16Well done, team project leader.
05:18Miriam volunteers to lead First Forte.
05:21I'm happy to do it if you don't mind being last man.
05:24Paul steps up for impact.
05:26Dundee.
05:36Both teams are about to enter the world of advertising.
05:43Welcome to Publicis.
05:44Just a little bit about us.
05:46We're the fourth biggest advertising agency in Britain
05:49and the fourth biggest communications group in the world.
05:52Basically, everything here is at your disposal,
05:54although you have to remember that all the people who work here
05:57are busy doing things other than your project.
06:00Publicis has won countless awards for its stylish ads.
06:04Their inspiration got Thierry Henry to put the va-va-voom into renown.
06:09The candidates tasked to promote this prototype,
06:12a 10-CD changer still in development and intended for the US market.
06:19For the purposes of the campaign, the JB1000 has a guide price of £99.
06:27The first law of advertising, meet the client.
06:31Simon Sugar, Sir Alan's eldest son, is commercial director at Amstrad.
06:36He's the man developing the product.
06:40The main function of the product is the unique CD mechanism.
06:44The reason why we've designed this in this way is easy to use,
06:48very user-friendly in terms of how you access your CDs.
06:53It's been made to sell at a recommended retail price of £99.
06:57Do you have a way that you like to be portrayed to the mass market?
07:01Amstrad is always known for value for money.
07:03I keep going back to this user-friendly, feature-packed.
07:08Does that link in as well to a specific target market that you have in mind?
07:12The market is, in all Amstrad products, really is the mass market.
07:17It's vital they get the message, because it comes from the boss.
07:24There's a tendency for advertising agencies to get carried away
07:28and forget about what the client wants.
07:30And they're more concerned about themselves
07:32and about winning some award somewhere.
07:34The problem with that type of advertising
07:36is it doesn't sell any kit for the customer.
07:39It's going to be interesting to see whether these two teams
07:42go down the route of some kind of arty-farty stuff,
07:45because if they do, they will get a kick in the arse from me, that's for sure.
07:49I can almost feel the creativity in the room.
07:52It's uncanny.
07:53Tomorrow afternoon, the teams have to prepare for the big day.
07:58Tomorrow afternoon, the teams have to present their work
08:01to the ad agency's directors.
08:06First, a pep talk from creative director Keith Courtney.
08:10Advertising is what you do when you can't go and see someone.
08:13If I were here and talking to you about this hi-fi,
08:16I'd probably convince you to buy it.
08:18But I'm not here, so that's the job that you have to do.
08:21The first thing I would do is...
08:23I don't know anything about the hi-fi market.
08:25It looks a bit cheap, it's a bit tacky,
08:27but I guess that's the sort of point.
08:29It's not a Bang & Olufsen.
08:31So the first thing I would do is try and absorb myself
08:34in what that market's doing and why they're spending £99.
08:37Ten CDs versus six, is that really...?
08:40I don't know. Who gives it to us?
08:42I don't know. Maybe that is good.
08:44And that's the first thing I would do.
08:46And out of that, really, the creative strategy will grow.
08:50I promise you.
08:51Are we looking at that as if we were a student?
08:54If I was 22 years old at Leeds Metro, would I buy it?
08:57You have to.
08:58Like I say, I don't own a Renault Clio, but I work on Renault Clio,
09:02and I have to imagine what it's like to drive a Renault Clio.
09:05I have to absorb myself in Thierry Henry's coolness.
09:09It so has rubbed off.
09:12It hasn't.
09:14I want to see a strategy that excites.
09:16That's the thing about being a creative director.
09:19It's almost like, Jesus, I wish I'd thought of that.
09:22And I want them to deliver that, and I hope they do.
09:25It's a really... It's a tough, tough, tough category.
09:29It's a very tough product.
09:32You know, Christ, I don't know what I'd do.
09:371pm. The teams need to agree their strategies.
09:41This part now is about being creative
09:44and getting the fact that we've identified...
09:47Cosmostrat have said to us, we are about mass market,
09:51trying to understand what that mass market is.
09:53You see, Sarah, that is all right,
09:55but we are already forming a picture of how the advert is going to look.
10:00No, not at all. We're forming a picture of who will represent our group,
10:06the group that are going to then...
10:08While Paul and Sarah try to agree on something,
10:11Miriam's team are already looking for a campaign strapline.
10:14I think us talking about the advert and the practicalities of it
10:17and everything else is all very well.
10:19I think we must concentrate on finding the strapline.
10:22OK, but to find the strapline, we need to know which direction we're taking.
10:25James, what strapline of the ones we've got here on the board do you like the most?
10:30We're going to need to start making some decisions, I'm sorry to say,
10:33because we have time.
10:35Those are my favourite three.
10:37I think we'll work on this one. The jukebox is back.
10:40Our strapline is the jukebox is back.
10:42Jukebox is back and then you have the two guys doing that. That works.
10:45The lasting message that you want to give...
10:47While thinking, Paul rejects theory to push on with his vision of the commercial.
10:52I had a scene in my mind kicking off with Mum coming in from work, OK?
10:57Straight into the kitchen. We've got two stereos, you see.
11:00Obviously, the more we can flog, the better it is.
11:03I didn't know what the hell was going on.
11:05And to be really honest with you, I think that's the way Paul operates.
11:09Turning it on, starting singing to Abba or whatever.
11:12The son comes down, either from stairs or comes in from college or school or whatever.
11:16He doesn't really sit down and have a lot of thinking time.
11:18He goes straight in for it.
11:20If you say something to him, he is quite overbearing and he won't kind of listen always.
11:24It's funny! When Ozzy Osbourne comes on, the son's upstairs, hears it, starts laughing.
11:29And you just get that shock that the son laughed.
11:32Everyone is getting on.
11:34It's probably no secret that myself and Saira got into a bit of a match the other day
11:38because she made some comments inside a board meeting with Sir Alan
11:42that I found very distasteful and unnecessary.
11:45But anyway, I put it behind me, we shook hands,
11:47and she was conscious that this might have spiralled out of control.
11:51I think she understood that she did wrong,
11:53but I wasn't prepared to bear a grudge knowing that we'd have to work with each other again.
11:57So fortunately, we've all been cohesive and we've all got on, and it's been buzzing.
12:02The planning's over. Time to move on.
12:07They have the rest of the day to shoot their 20-second TV commercial
12:10and take the photos for their press ads.
12:16Miriam's team are about to audition their actors.
12:19The objective of this meeting, boys, is to try and get a feel for people
12:24who can represent this product and have mass market appeal.
12:27Could you say to us, the jukebox is back?
12:31The jukebox is back!
12:36Brilliant. Thank you very much, Luke.
12:38The jukebox is back.
12:40OK.
12:42The jukebox is back.
12:46The jukebox is back.
12:54Paul divides his team in two and heads off to meet his film crew,
12:58sending Saira and Raj to buy props.
13:02Paul is just... He's not really...
13:04He's all over the place.
13:05He's all over the place, and it's making me feel all over the place.
13:08That's what I'm saying. I said to everyone,
13:10guys, I haven't got a clue what's going on.
13:12I can normally keep up with stuff, but there are four different people
13:15doing four different fucking things.
13:17I know. That's why I just sat in the corner.
13:19I just thought, well, guys, listen, as far as I'm concerned,
13:22this is about the creativity and we've got to start thinking.
13:25Even if looking at the actors isn't the right thing,
13:28you know you've got a marketplace.
13:30How are you going to start breaking it down?
13:32How are you going to start representing it?
13:34You did talk a lot, didn't you? My ears are killing me.
13:36I think everyone talks a lot, but most people talk bollocks.
13:39WHISTLE BLOWS
13:44For their strap line, the jukebox is back.
13:47Miriam's team needs a jukebox.
13:51Oh, that thing's huge. Fuck off!
13:54You've seen the size of it?
13:56It's absolutely huge.
13:58Oh, that'll go in this way. That'll go in this way.
14:00Go in that way, man. That's all right.
14:02You'll slide it in this way. Yeah, that's all right.
14:04That's fine. Yeah, perfect.
14:07Miriam phones her film crew, who are already on location.
14:11Let me just talk to you about what we're hoping to do
14:14and then you can maybe start thinking about how the room looks
14:16and your light and stuff like that.
14:18I don't know if that would be helpful.
14:20Only on the internet.
14:22OK. It's fucking small.
14:25OK.
14:26Use my language, you know.
14:28More than me and my two assistants and some lights in there at a time.
14:31Really? Right, OK.
14:33OK, well, we'll maybe work that into our ad campaign.
14:36The other boys are out getting a jukebox at the moment.
14:38Do you think we're going to be able to get a jukebox up in the door or not?
14:41A proper-sized jukebox? Yeah.
14:43If you put that in the room, you have to take a sofa out.
14:45OK, well, we'll play with that when we get there.
14:47But the idea, then, we can really play with is the fact that
14:50your classic jukebox is old and heavy and cumbersome,
14:52whereas our product, you know, it's compact and all the rest of it.
14:55So, actually, that could play to our advantage.
14:57Yeah, OK. Yeah, you're not convinced, are you?
14:59I'm not convinced there's room to actually do the shoot.
15:01That's what I'm not convinced about. OK.
15:03All right. Thanks, Jason. Bye.
15:06Well, we've got one extremely unhappy camper, then.
15:09You're going to be shooting from here.
15:11Paul's located in Amara's kitchen.
15:13This is where his team will film their TV commercial
15:16and shoot the photos for their full-page press ad.
15:19I just want to get a feel for the mood, the scene,
15:21to see if it needs spicing or... Sure, yeah.
15:23..and the sort of, you know, the interaction between mum and son.
15:26They've chosen a middle-aged mum and a teenager
15:30to represent the mass market for the JB1000.
15:34It's showtime.
15:35OK, Tom. Hi, Mum.
15:37Hi, Sam.
15:38That's mine. You've got your own upstairs. Up.
15:43I like that.
15:44I think you're a tiny bit aggressive, Judith, with him.
15:47I think you're smacking him as if he's crashed your car or something.
15:51Are we ready, Judith?
15:54Fire away.
15:55Hi, Mum. Hi, Sam.
15:57Oh, fuck.
16:00LAUGHTER
16:02Despite the limits of her location,
16:04Miriam starts the shoot for her press ad.
16:07To underline the slogan, the jukebox is back,
16:10they're going for the young market with a young model.
16:13That's fine. Just shoulders round to me, a touch.
16:15Shoulders round, round. That's it.
16:19But outside, her next problem has just arrived.
16:26Ready?
16:27Oh, Jesus.
16:48I think we may have to abort.
16:50Do you want this? Yeah.
16:53We've got less work to do. The storyboard's all done.
16:55Taking a break from filming,
16:57Paul finally turns his attention to the campaign slogan.
17:00Put down everything that you think of.
17:02Loads of slogans. Rachel's come out with a few good ones.
17:05And then maybe even tonight, if you want,
17:07when we get back to the house, just for ten minutes.
17:10I don't want us to stay up till late.
17:13Saira's unhappy about being asked to leave the shoot.
17:16I feel a bit kind of... I'm not really very involved.
17:19I'm not quite sure where we're going.
17:21I don't know what the strapline is.
17:24Now that I'm not here, I'm thinking,
17:26well, are we going to get, as a team,
17:29the final product as what we want,
17:31or is it just going to be the vision of two people?
17:33Because they're going to be so busy on the filming,
17:35I actually think we've got the opportunity
17:37to give it the vision that we want it to,
17:39cos they won't have the time to think about it. Yeah.
17:42With their overweight jukebox stuck on the ground floor,
17:45Miriam's team turn their advert storyline upside down.
17:49He's come home and he's got two seconds,
17:51he sees his jukebox.
17:53HE GASPS
17:54My jukebox.
17:55Looks upstairs.
17:56Looks upstairs.
17:57HE GASPS
17:58My gramophone.
17:59And then she's just throwing it out.
18:01And then it fades to black.
18:02And then the next shot is inside the flat, drawing back.
18:05And then he goes, oh, the jukebox is back.
18:09And action.
18:11First rehearsal.
18:16Oh, no!
18:18Not my beloved jukebox!
18:21What have you done?
18:23What have you done?
18:25Oh, I think that might be a bit too much.
18:28So there's a slight pause and then it's a giggle.
18:31Pause got the opposite problem.
18:33Not enough emotion.
18:38Not funny enough.
18:39It wants to be a giggle.
18:41You've got to put a bit of passion to it, a bit of anger.
18:43I know it's late.
18:44It's not really anger.
18:45I think it's just a giggle.
18:47It's a mischievous giggle.
18:50Like that.
18:51You're not finding anything funny.
18:52That's the only problem.
18:53Tell him a frigging joke, man.
18:54What's wrong with you?
18:55Yeah.
18:56Aardvark walked into a pub and the barman said,
18:58why the long face?
19:00I don't know.
19:02That's the joke.
19:03An aardvark has a long face.
19:04The barman said, why the long face?
19:11He's still not fucking laughing.
19:14Not me going down.
19:18At the house,
19:19Saira and Rachel struggle to come up with a slogan.
19:24Rachel, I've got some ideas here.
19:26I've thought this sounds quite funky, but it makes you think.
19:31Because I think our advert's quite obvious,
19:33but I think you need a strapline that makes people think,
19:35what the fuck's all that about?
19:37I've got JB1000 times MP3 equals Kylie and Def Leppard
19:40at your fingertips.
19:43I'm absolutely shattered.
19:44Why don't you go to sleep?
19:46I don't think I can quite let...
19:47I think we need to wait for them to come back.
19:49Right, I was going to say.
19:50Because you keep mentioning you're tired,
19:52but it's like, it sounds painful.
20:03The final day of the task.
20:05In just six hours, the teams have to pitch their campaigns.
20:09Miriam works with her Mac Man,
20:11a computer graphics designer, to create her press ad.
20:16So, basically, what we want to do,
20:18the idea of this is we're going to take out all the black
20:20to have a white background.
20:21But she's in close contact with the rest of her team
20:24for editing the TV advert.
20:29No!
20:34Listen, every single time the word jukebox comes up on the screen,
20:37as in the jukebox is back,
20:39you need to use the branded jukebox logo that we've just created.
20:44OK, good, good.
20:45We're just about to do the voiceover,
20:47and then just finalise it all.
20:49I could do it in Borat-style.
20:51Hello, the new top-loading 10-CD jukebox from Amsterdam
20:56is really very good.
20:58Cheers.
20:59OK, guys, take two.
21:01The new top-loading...
21:03Fuck it.
21:05When she first came in, she was sort of bopping,
21:07that sort of ABBA-type music.
21:09Here, we're more classical, slow classical.
21:12Still in the director's chair, Paul is in his element.
21:16But he's left the press ad and the planning for the pitch
21:19to Saira and Rachel.
21:21All I'm saying to you, Rachel, is I understand where you're coming from.
21:25Good.
21:26You haven't really asked me, so what are you going to talk there?
21:29No.
21:30And I'm not being silly...
21:31No, no, no.
21:32..but one minute for me to come up and do a presentation,
21:35I'm not happy with nothing more.
21:37No, no, no.
21:38But let me just tell you, because I feel that what I'm doing here
21:42is part of the rationale...
21:44Fine.
21:45..of how we've come up with all of this.
21:47Fine, if that's the rationale, I have no...
21:50Because it's the product.
21:51Yeah, I have no problem with you doing the rationale.
21:54I just want there to be a rationale.
21:56I'm not saying I must do it, I don't care about that.
21:58I'm just saying it feels to me that we need to have one somewhere.
22:01Somewhere in the presentation.
22:02And I'm not necessarily saying I write it, I say it, I do it.
22:05I'm just saying that at the moment, I don't feel that we've covered it.
22:08No, we are happy.
22:09Really happy.
22:10Absolutely fantastic work with what you've done in this time.
22:12Miriam's team have completed their TV commercial.
22:15Come on, guys, we need to run.
22:16OK, then.
22:17Cheers, Governor.
22:18Thanks very much.
22:19Thank you very much.
22:20Brilliant.
22:21Get out of your way now.
22:22Stop shouting when you're here.
22:23Thanks very much.
22:25See what happens there? They're not aligned any more.
22:27Having supervised her Mac Man all morning,
22:30her press ad is taking shape too.
22:32At least we have a concept here which we can present,
22:35which is the most important thing at the end of the day.
22:38Unable to agree, Rachel and Saira split up.
22:42Rachel decides to make a collage,
22:44showing the moods the JB1000 can evoke.
22:49Saira turns her attention to the press advert.
22:52Pushed for time, she enlists the help of the agency's staff.
22:57Can we flip it around?
22:59I think it's quite nice.
23:01That's nice.
23:02She's got her eyes open, she looks quite dreamlike.
23:05Maybe get rid of some of this baggage.
23:07Let's see what's in the rest of the images.
23:09It's amazing.
23:10Yeah, we don't want her looking too haggard.
23:13If you're really happy with that,
23:14now you have to find a stereo that's in focus and well lit.
23:17Right, we'll take that image.
23:18OK, so we'll keep that one.
23:19Are you sure about that,
23:20do you know you don't want to get the consensus of the rest of the team?
23:23I haven't got time, the rest of the team aren't here.
23:25So we're happy with that.
23:26Yeah.
23:27Let's get to work on it.
23:28I think so.
23:29So I'm going to leave you to it now.
23:30So in terms of the advert,
23:33you've got everything, the headlines, subheadings, everything.
23:36Everything I need is here now.
23:37We will not disturb you.
23:38All right.
23:39The only thing that I would say is...
23:40Leaving the Mac Man unsupervised,
23:42Saira devotes her talent to rearranging chairs.
23:46He said we could borrow all the funky chairs, which is fantastic.
23:54Thank you very much, boys.
23:55You are absolute stars.
23:59With his TV commercial complete,
24:01Paul is back and wants an update.
24:03The room, when they come in,
24:04has got to look exactly how we want it,
24:06all the rubbish to one side,
24:08everything cleared up,
24:09and we've got to make sure that we've got everything in place.
24:12We've got to look exactly how we want it,
24:14all the rubbish to one side,
24:15everything cleared up and everything immaculate.
24:17Right.
24:18Because we will be judged on the environment as soon as they walk in.
24:22So that's why it's taken us a long time to get this and that done.
24:26So that's what we're doing.
24:27Is this for the pitch?
24:28Yes.
24:29What about the full-page advert?
24:31It's not been done yet.
24:32It's still in the process of being done.
24:35Who's it in the hands with?
24:36Noel, but can I just suggest something?
24:39I've been dealing with him, so I'm in control of it.
24:41But it'll be done for 25 more minutes?
24:43I think so, yeah.
24:44Saira is difficult to manage, definitely.
24:47I actually said to her a couple of days earlier
24:50that I didn't think she was a team player.
24:52She's a person that really wants to do her own thing
24:54and to shine herself and point the finger of blame elsewhere,
24:57but not take any sort of flak herself.
24:59Well, at 2 o'clock, it should be finished.
25:01He's doing it for us?
25:02Yeah.
25:03So you've laid it out?
25:05Yeah, it has not been an easy process.
25:07It's been very time-consuming.
25:10But he's finishing it up, basically?
25:12Yes, he is, yeah.
25:13Could you save that and print it out, please?
25:15That's great. That looks really good.
25:17Amazing, Yaz.
25:18Do you like that, Yaz?
25:19You're phenomenal.
25:20As the deadline looms,
25:22Miriam's press campaign is given its finishing touches.
25:29Paul's advert still isn't ready.
25:32I'm not convinced by the font on get your own and the colour and things.
25:35You're right.
25:36To be honest, I think it's more important to get that right
25:38than it is to get the detailed text right.
25:40No, I don't.
25:41Do you not?
25:42No, the colour.
25:43Well, we could easily edit that.
25:45Yes.
25:46Let him finish because it's a stressful job.
25:48Yeah, let's just get the content in.
25:50Sarah and I fundamentally disagreed about what should be on the press ad
25:53and she wasn't giving way,
25:55so at some point I just had to distance myself from it
25:58and let her take ownership because I wasn't going to get through.
26:01I fundamentally felt that what she was putting on a piece of paper
26:05was boring, bland, brochure-ware sales copy
26:09that you'd get in an Argos catalogue.
26:12But with the deadline up, it's as good as it's going to get.
26:18We haven't got the fucking £99 on there.
26:28Noel? Yeah.
26:29And get your own.
26:31At the bottom here, can you write only £99?
26:34Quickly run it off on A3.
26:42That is... I'm not being horrible, but that is shit.
26:45That just shows, like, it's been plonked there.
26:48We've picked up the words.
26:49Sarah, there's no point in saying that now.
26:51It's gone too far. We have to get into that.
26:53Well, no, don't you worry. I'm a professional.
26:55I can get into it. I'm an actress.
26:57But I'm telling you now, that's not going to win you a prize
27:01That will not win you a prize.
27:05The full-page ad isn't very good.
27:11Having said that, what does worry me is that the team
27:15are very easily deflated.
27:18And it doesn't... It shouldn't be like that, really.
27:21You know, when you're doing your best,
27:24you've got to keep positive.
27:27You know, in anything, in anything in life, you get a knockback,
27:30you've just got to stand up and work with it.
27:32Everybody, right, there is no point in being despondent, OK?
27:36There is no point.
27:37You'll come across... You know what?
27:39Let me finish. Let me finish.
27:41Raj, Raj, Raj.
27:43You know, I come in here and there's just lots of glum faces.
27:46We cannot be glum. There's no glum faces.
27:48Yesterday, yesterday... There are no glum faces.
27:50Believe me, in the last ten minutes, there was a glum face.
27:53We have to be upbeat.
27:54Paul, don't have to tell us how to be professional.
27:57Tyra, please listen to me. I am listening. OK?
28:00Paul, you're winding us up. You're winding us up.
28:03We know... Listen, I know that's quite...
28:05I'm going to present it with passion.
28:07Don't worry about it. You can't control everything, Paul.
28:10I'm not trying to control everything.
28:12I'm just trying to let people remember the fact that we have worked
28:15very hard in 48 hours to do an awful lot.
28:18Let's try and be upbeat, please.
28:20OK? It's not absolutely brilliant. It doesn't matter.
28:23It says what it says and it will do the job.
28:25My biggest worry now is the pitch,
28:28and that if that positivity does not come through in the pitch,
28:31we've lost.
28:33And it's already time for the pitch.
28:35The three experts from Publicis will judge the work
28:38and pass on their thoughts to Sir Alan.
28:41I first of all wanted to ask you, how you feel when you come in this room?
28:44What do you feel about this room?
28:46I think the idea to go informal is a good one.
28:50How do you feel yourself, though, regardless of informal?
28:53Do you feel comfortable, relaxed?
28:56Excited. Excited?
28:58I'm liking the sound of excited.
29:00I'm liking the sound of anticipation.
29:05How are we feeling now?
29:07Well, I think it's one of those kind of moments.
29:21Yeah, it's a bit cheerful.
29:23You know, music can do incredible things.
29:26How does that music make you feel?
29:29Like I'm sitting watching a 1970s...
29:32Sitcom.
29:34Absolutely right. It makes you feel upbeat and happy.
29:38Sire and Rachel aren't strong. Nope.
29:41What were the bits you didn't like?
29:43All of it.
29:45I'm going to talk you through. We've had some fun with some drawings.
29:49What music represents is an escape from real life.
29:53You can put something on that instantly transforms you.
29:56You can be somewhere on a beach just because it reminds you of that time
30:00and it really paints that sort of...
30:02You can almost smell, you know, that place that it takes you to.
30:06I'm going to hand over to Sire now
30:08and she's going to talk about the press ad
30:10and where that's going and where that's come from.
30:13OK.
30:15The basic format for our press article will be as follows.
30:20We would like to highlight the Amstrad and the title of this product,
30:25the Amstrad JB1000.
30:27That needs to be a headline.
30:29We're not quite sure exactly where we would place it,
30:31but it needs to be in there.
30:33I just don't think that they're coming across very well
30:35and if I was buying that product, if I was the CEO of this company,
30:38I would leave there...
30:40The only smile I would have would be generated from the TV commercial.
30:46And that's mine. You've got your own upstairs. Go!
31:03What do you think?
31:05I mean, I can see different people reacting in different ways,
31:07but is there any sort of initial thoughts or comments
31:09that you'd like to feed back?
31:11There's an old cliche in nail-type business,
31:13which is if you throw three balls at someone, they're liable to drop them all.
31:16If you throw them one, they might catch it.
31:18They might not, but they might.
31:20And I think you've thrown them quite a lot of balls.
31:26Next, Miriam's team and a more formal presentation.
31:30The first idea we had was about fun, which is represented here.
31:34And we had the strap at the top, which was,
31:36we all want to have fun, but not at any price.
31:40What we've also done is we've come up with a single strap line,
31:44which then applies to the whole of our thinking.
31:47The dupe box is back.
31:51Tim, if I can ask you to dim the lights and roll VT.
31:59Oh, no! My dupe box!
32:02School of opera.
32:04My dupe box is back!
32:06The new 10-CD crop-loading dupe box.
32:09Full hand strap.
32:12There were two or three occasions where I was deeply unhappy.
32:15The best example of that was with the TV commercial.
32:18At that point, we had the strap line,
32:20which I thought was good, but not exceptional.
32:23And we had a strategy for the whole campaign,
32:27which I thought was reasonable and credible,
32:30but again, not exceptional.
32:33And the TV commercial was appalling.
32:36Not that he's letting that show.
32:39But what we wanted to replicate in those 20 seconds
32:42was the messages of the press campaign.
32:44We wanted to have a light style,
32:46but we wanted to say that it's got mass market appeal across ages,
32:50but also that it's simple to operate, and also that it's £99.
32:54So, hopefully, ladies and gentlemen, the dupe box is back.
33:01Time for the admin to call Sir Alan.
33:06Is that Sir Alan? Speaking.
33:08Hello, it's Tim Lindsay from Publicis here.
33:10Oh, hello, Tim.
33:12As always, Sir Alan will reach his own judgement
33:16when he's heard the candidate's explanation about what's been going on.
33:23Very soon, someone is going to get fired.
33:31PHONE RINGS
33:38Yeah.
33:40You can go through to the boardroom now.
34:01MUSIC CONTINUES
34:15Now, advertising.
34:17One of my favourite, favourite things.
34:20I've written books on advertising.
34:22Checkbooks.
34:24All I can say to you lot is I hope that one day
34:27that you run a business that has got a turnover
34:29the size of the amount of money I've pissed up the wall
34:32over the years on advertising.
34:35Now, each team is going to present to me their advertising campaign.
34:41Now, I don't want to hear about all these demographics bollocks,
34:44cos I'm not interested in all that nonsense, OK?
34:46I want to hear about the adverts,
34:48what they're supposed to do and what they're supposed to deliver.
34:51I've got your videos loaded.
34:53We'll display them on this plasma screen when we're ready.
34:57Impact, you're going to start.
35:02Over to you.
35:04I'm all ears.
35:06Can we run the commercial now, please?
35:08If you wish. Yep.
35:13Hi, Mum. Hi, Sam.
35:15That's mine. You've got your own upstairs. Go.
35:24MUSIC PLAYS
35:32With the TV commercial,
35:34we were trying to not depict the product as the centre of attention,
35:38but rather how the product works within a family situation,
35:41within family life.
35:43Being that it's only £99, we're trying to show
35:45that it doesn't have to be something that you save up for.
35:48Mum can have one, child can have one,
35:50and then with the hit of the product at the end,
35:52which it is in the caption, get your own,
35:54we'll leave it in the mind of the viewer.
35:56OK, the press advert... Can you hold it up?
35:59Yeah, sorry. It's a bit ripped,
36:01but obviously somebody sellotaped it together.
36:03We do want to emphasise this is not the finished article,
36:06but our basic thought process. You've got 30 seconds.
36:09I just wanted to talk you through, when we first looked at the product,
36:12the things that sort of came front of mind,
36:14what music can do and what this machine can do
36:17is make the mundane, the everyday fun,
36:19because the music changes the situation that you're in.
36:21And because we thought of this as a second hi-fi or a third hi-fi
36:24rather than the principal one,
36:26it's therefore you might be doing boring things in your kitchen
36:29or in your bedroom or in your study,
36:31and that music can take you away from that sort of mundanity.
36:34Well, good. OK.
36:36First forte.
36:39Who wants it? I'll have them to start with, please.
36:43So our two press ads are these two.
36:46The first one, the jukebox is back and the strap line.
36:49We all want to have fun, but not at any price.
36:52And then the second billboard in the series,
36:55if big is supposed to be better,
36:57then why is everyone looking at me picking up on the size of the hi-fi,
37:00the fact that it's a micro hi-fi?
37:02We're in competition with a lot of big, bulky CD changes,
37:05and this does highlight that in the product.
37:07So that's our press campaign, and we'd like to run our video.
37:11OK, we'll run the video ad now.
37:17Oh, no! My jukebox!
37:20My jukebox is back!
37:23The new 10-CD top-loading jukebox from Amstrad.
37:29MUSIC PLAYS
37:42Raj, you're an astute man.
37:45Who won?
37:48Erm, I would assume that they've won because there's this...
37:52No, I didn't ask you to assume. You're sitting here. Who won?
37:56I would say they've won.
37:58Spot on.
38:00Well done. Thank you. Thank you.
38:03Good campaign.
38:05Impact, you're going to have to come back into the ballroom.
38:08You know what's going to happen.
38:10One of you is going to get fired.
38:15Off you go.
38:18MUSIC CONTINUES
38:23Good stuff. Really good.
38:29Right, this is a no-brainer, was it, really?
38:32Didn't have to be an advertising executive to work that one out.
38:36My God, it's that evident.
38:38It was that clear. You know, there was no contest here.
38:41But we just have to find out what went wrong with this lot again.
38:47Out of the three people, two of them definitely let me down.
38:51One absolutely let me down.
38:56Sarah's just a pain, really. She's just not a team player.
39:00At every opportunity, at every opportunity,
39:02she would point the finger at the project manager if anything went wrong.
39:06I fundamentally believe that it was Paul's fault.
39:09I think he did not prioritise his time.
39:11He did not look at the big picture.
39:13He did not prioritise his time.
39:15He did not look at the brief carefully.
39:20She was basically responsible for the print campaign,
39:24and it was rubbish.
39:26I think my team-mates will back me up in saying
39:30that they feel exactly the same way, that he lost the plot.
39:39To celebrate Miriam's win,
39:41Sir Alan sends them off to get kitted out with some bespoke tailoring.
39:50Hello, boys.
39:52Hello, boys, indeed.
39:54Stunning.
39:56Definitely the winner so far.
39:58Does it bite?
40:07This is the creme de la creme.
40:10There's no-one else in the UK who has this, actually.
40:1316½ full front.
40:1536.
40:19Tim, thank you very much.
40:21Been a pleasure. Thanks very much for your time.
40:23Pleasure.
40:34Paul's team returns to the boardroom to face the final judgement.
40:39Hiya, Francis.
40:41Could you tell them to come in, please?
41:10Well, Paul?
41:12Can I ask you, Sir Alan,
41:14before we start, why you chose their commercial?
41:17You want to ask me? Yeah.
41:19Just as project manager, I'd like to know why it was that we didn't win that.
41:23Did you ask Raj why he chose them over yours?
41:26Raj isn't going to potentially fire me today.
41:29It was so blatantly obvious that I asked Raj.
41:32It's as simple as that.
41:34An onlooker looking at that advert wouldn't know what the bloody hell it was all about.
41:37But your product was in the advert from beginning to end.
41:40No, no, no, no. Sorry.
41:42Somebody watching your commercial would have seen the lady.
41:44That's what they would have seen.
41:46And they would have said to me what my wife says to me half the blooming time
41:49when she sees these arty-farty adverts on television.
41:51What was that about?
41:53Mum's lounging about drinking and this, that and the other.
41:55Where's the product? Not there.
41:57Then you packshot the guy in the corner up there playing around the music.
42:00Where's the product? Not there.
42:02It is there, Sir Alan.
42:04Yeah, if you've got a microscope,
42:06that's the question I've given you the answer.
42:08Not enough of the product in that advert.
42:10You're too close to it, I'm afraid.
42:12Much too close.
42:14You're not looking at it from the eyes of a consumer.
42:16But what has disappointed me more than anything else
42:19is not so much the television advert,
42:21is this thing here.
42:23And this bloody load of nonsense here.
42:25That's what's annoying me more than anything else.
42:28So who's responsible for all this stuff?
42:30Ultimately, as a project leader, I'm responsible for everything.
42:33This is pathetic.
42:36I will agree that this is not the stronger part of our overall campaign.
42:40Can we have a hear from someone else?
42:42Yeah.
42:43Who was sitting with the Mac man when this was going on?
42:46That was my task, to do that.
42:49Did you sit with him or did you just say to him,
42:51hello, Mac man, get on with it and walk away?
42:53No, Sir Alan, I did not do that
42:55because that's not in my professional capacity to do that.
42:57What I did with the Mac person was he is a specialist.
43:00I gave him specific instruction.
43:02You left the layout to him?
43:05I'm just going to come to that, Sir Alan.
43:07Let me finish.
43:08So basically, that's what we did.
43:10And I asked him, I said, could you go away please and come back
43:13and then will I have time to proof it?
43:15And he said, yes, yes, that will happen.
43:18So that's what happened.
43:20And I think in my professional capacity and the time I had,
43:22that was the right thing to do.
43:24No, it was the absolutely wrong thing to do.
43:27And you should have been sitting next to him
43:29and as the things came on the screen,
43:31you should have been saying, do leave off, not that,
43:33get that out of the way, make the picture bigger,
43:35get rid of the woman, do something else.
43:37Look at this over here.
43:40Sir Alan, I absolutely agree with what you're saying.
43:43I'm not going to sit here and say that...
43:45Well, don't try and justify to me that you're professional
43:49and you use your professionalism
43:51because you should have sat right next to that bloke,
43:53you should have sat next to him
43:55and you should have stuck to him like glue.
43:57The reason that advert came out like that
43:59and the reason that I did not sit next to him
44:01was because we did not create enough time for the advert.
44:05Again, that comes down to the project managers,
44:07what he thinks is important was the last thing on the agenda
44:10and we did not leave enough time.
44:12Why would this have been any better?
44:15Why would it have been artistically any better?
44:18Sir Alan, the reason...
44:19Why would it have been more professional?
44:21Because we would have had the time and the strategy and the concept.
44:24And the focus on how important that was.
44:26We had all of Saturday morning, Raj,
44:28while we were editing, two people, half of the team,
44:31had all of Saturday from nine till two to do it.
44:33Is that right?
44:34Yeah.
44:35From nine till two?
44:36Nine till two, they had to do this...
44:38Sit in front with the Mac man, they had all that time between nine and two.
44:41That was not all we had to focus on.
44:43Let me examine this a little bit more.
44:45Can we go into a bit of detail here?
44:48At what time of the day did you brief this man?
44:51I was directed by my project manager
44:53to focus on the press advert in the morning, Friday morning.
44:57Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, please, answer a simple question.
45:00What time of the day did you first meet this Mac man
45:04and give him your brief, roughly?
45:06Half ten?
45:07We probably met him first about half ten,
45:09but we didn't have a final brief to give him at that stage.
45:13When did you have the final brief?
45:15When did he know what you wanted to do?
45:17Probably about 12, 12.
45:1912, OK.
45:2012.30.
45:21And you had a two o'clock deadline, is that what you're saying?
45:23Yeah.
45:24So, between 12 and two, what did you do?
45:27I then gave him the basic ideas of a layout, that on there.
45:31Sarah, you're not answering me.
45:33I'm on to know what you did between 12 and two.
45:36Between 12 and two...
45:37You, I'm talking about what you...
45:39Yeah, we were getting...
45:40You and Rachel did between 12 and two,
45:42after you'd finished briefing this fellow.
45:44From 12 till two, we got together the pitch,
45:46and we had to run through that.
45:48We also started to make our room look more creative,
45:51and that was important to me, because I didn't feel confident...
45:54Look, that's the error. That's the error.
45:56Because between 12 and two,
45:57you should have been stuck to that bloke like shit to a blanket.
46:00This is the thing that would have impressed them in the end.
46:03None of the other bullshit that you were getting up to
46:05was going to impress them.
46:06You left him on his own, and that was the fatal error.
46:13And that's the fatal error in your campaign.
46:16That is the fatal error in my opinion.
46:19Paul, you're going to have to pick two of your colleagues here
46:24who you think let you down on the project,
46:26because one of the three of you is going to get fired, as you know.
46:30Who do you want with you?
46:32I'll take in Saira...
46:36..and Rachel.
46:38Raj, rest easy for today.
46:42You three, I think you should also go out there,
46:45and I'll give you a call and I'll call you back in.
46:48OK? Yeah.
47:11Paul became so engrossed in this television advertisement,
47:15he wasn't in contact with these two at all.
47:18He was not running a team.
47:21Going back to the original CVs,
47:23one of the claims to fame out of this three is Rachel,
47:28who says she's been in advertising,
47:30done some advertising and all that stuff.
47:32And what she was doing, prancing around downstairs,
47:35making a storyboard presentation for the advertising agency,
47:38I just don't know.
47:40PHONE RINGS
47:46He's ready for you now.
48:01Paul, tell me why you've brought these two ladies in here.
48:04When we had finished, Raj and I by and large,
48:08the TV commercial on the Friday,
48:10I was pretty upbeat because I thought,
48:12Saira and Rachel have from nine o'clock Saturday morning
48:16till four o'clock in the afternoon to do that advert.
48:20And the fact that we have finished with this,
48:23I can't blame Raj and I can't blame myself.
48:26Nothing to do with you having a little altercation on the last task, then?
48:30As I walked out, I shook hands with Saira
48:32to make sure that the next day we were going to be OK to work together.
48:36That's an absolute lie. We did not shake hands after...
48:40We shook hands out there as we walked out.
48:42We did not shake hands, Paul. You did not shake hands with me.
48:45I left very upset because I felt attacked after the last time.
48:51So I can't remember shaking hands.
48:53I'm a Roman Catholic and as God is my witness, I shook her hand outside.
48:57Well, I'm Jewish and I couldn't care less.
48:59At the end of the day, you're saying to me that you've brought them in here
49:03because there's nothing personal about this.
49:05It's all to do with you don't think they perform well on this task.
49:08Is that what you're saying to me? It is.
49:10OK. And, Rachel, what do you say about that?
49:12We hadn't actually been delegated in some ways between me and Saira,
49:16who was going to, if you like, lead on this particular project.
49:20And in the morning, we basically didn't really agree
49:24on the direction that this advert should take.
49:28And we weren't going to agree.
49:30I think the two options either were that we carried on
49:33disagreeing with each other all morning and produced a blank piece of paper
49:36or someone sort of stepped back and allowed it to progress.
49:39Did you bulldozer into that decision, Saira?
49:42No, I didn't bulldozer, Sir Alan, because we had two tasks to do.
49:46Rachel was quite happy to carry on with her mood board
49:49because she knew more about it, it was more her idea.
49:52I wanted to go on with the advert and I think what I have produced
49:56in terms of a layout, as a basic layout,
49:59demonstrates a basic understanding of advertising.
50:02It is not the completed article, there's a lot of work needed to do on it.
50:05I think that's a basic layout for the dandy or the beano, if you ask me,
50:08not for any newspaper I read.
50:10Sir Alan, I'm not disagreeing with you on any of those points.
50:13Should she have been with you with this Mac Man? That's the point I'm making.
50:16And why wasn't she with you with the Mac Man?
50:19Because the reason she wasn't with me with the Mac Man
50:21was because Rachel was doing her board.
50:23Why did you let her go off and waste her time making this bloody thing here?
50:26With respect to Rachel,
50:29Rachel was very, very strong on her creative point.
50:32I was not strong... Where?
50:34I'm coming up with a board and the moods...
50:37But the board is a total waste of space.
50:40The only reason I started working on that fundamentally
50:43was because we couldn't agree on the direction of the advert
50:45and I thought too many cooks will spoil the broth.
50:47Why didn't you ring me? If you've just said now for the first time
50:50that you couldn't agree, you and Saira, on the direction of the advert,
50:53why at that point did you not ring me?
50:55I said that if you need to get hold of me, ring me.
50:57It's a mental, if you can't agree, but you didn't ring me.
50:59So when I heard a silent phone, I thought everything is going to plan.
51:02Paul, don't you think that you took a bit of a risk
51:05when you said, well, get on with...
51:07I mean, there was always two elements to this task, wasn't there?
51:10The press and the TV.
51:12We all knew what was happening with the TV commercial.
51:14We all knew what product we were selling.
51:16We knew that it was Get Your Own, the slogan.
51:19So maybe I gave them too big a scope
51:21and maybe I put too much faith in them.
51:23You know, I suppose.
51:26So, good team leader or not?
51:28I'm afraid not.
51:29Good team leader or not?
51:31No.
51:32Who should be fired, then?
51:33I think it should be Paul.
51:34And who do you think should be fired?
51:36I agree.
51:37Do you think you're a good team leader?
51:39Erm...
51:41Not on this one.
51:43Out of the two, who should go?
51:45I don't want to say. You've heard what we did.
51:47It's up to you to fire someone.
51:49You've chosen, you must have chosen them for a reason.
51:51I said the reason beforehand.
51:53I just think that from nine till four,
51:55they could have come up with something better than that.
52:05You know, I'm having problems on this press advert all the time.
52:09I'm also having problems on your lack of understanding
52:12of where you should have put your attention,
52:14on which thing you should have fired your enthusiasm towards
52:17and kept your eye on.
52:19You know, at the end of the day, Paul,
52:21you were the team manager, as you say.
52:23Your opening gambit here today was,
52:25I'm responsible. You started doing most of the talking.
52:28I think your emphasis on where you spend your time
52:32and what you spend it on was wrong.
52:35Sarah, I don't know why you left yourself on your own with this.
52:39I don't know why you wasted that two hours.
52:42Rachel, I haven't got a bloody clue
52:44what you were up to downstairs with this thing there.
52:47Not a clue, because who cares?
52:49Who cares, pitching to the advertising agent?
52:51When it comes to bullshit,
52:53they have forgotten what you haven't even learnt yet
52:55about all this crap.
52:57You wasted your time.
52:59And because you wasted your time
53:01and because you say and claim
53:03to be an expert in advertising in your own CV,
53:06it brings me to the conclusion that,
53:08Rachel, I'm sorry, you're fired.
53:20CLOCK TICKS
53:31You two had better stop bickering.
53:34I haven't got problems with people
53:36that don't get on with each other in companies.
53:38I've had it in my companies. I normally get them apart.
53:41It's not a reason for me to get rid of people
53:43who don't like each other.
53:45I like her.
53:47Really? I see.
53:49But sometimes, possibly because we are similar in some fields,
53:52we hit a bit head-on.
53:54Yeah. You're both quite talented people in your own fields.
53:58I gave you the benefit of the doubt, do you understand me,
54:01about not bringing personalities into this?
54:04Sarah, you're a good talker. You're a great talker.
54:07You never convinced me about this.
54:09Perhaps you learnt a lesson here.
54:11If it makes you happy, or happier...
54:13She doesn't want it.
54:15Take it as a memento.
54:20I'll see you later, folks. Thank you.
54:35Don't worry, Sajid.
54:45Don't worry.
54:47Don't worry.
55:11Fundamentally, Paul's project management
55:13did cause us tremendous problems
55:16and my feeling is more that I haven't been fired
55:20particularly because of my performance on this task,
55:22but because Sir Alan likes Paul's pugnaciousness
55:25and he likes Sarah's pugnaciousness.
55:27Perhaps I just didn't stand up for myself loudly enough.
55:34One job, now eight candidates.
55:37Sir Alan's search for his apprentice continues.
55:41Next week, the candidates enter the world of show business
55:45for the first time.
55:47I've lined up ten celebrities.
55:49You're going to have to use your negotiating powers
55:52to get something good out of them that we're going to auction.
55:55I'm just going to read through the names
55:57and there are some real A-listers in here.
55:59There are people starving. There are people dying.
56:02You didn't ask for enough.
56:04I can't see Michael Kean betting to be interviewed by me.
56:07Who wants to get up at 5.30 in the bloody morning
56:10and stand in the studio?
56:11Do you have a motorbike?
56:13How do you know that?
56:14What about if we could pry something like that off you?
56:16Waste of time, waste of time, take a waste of time.
56:19As the two teams cash in on their celebrity loss,
56:22who will be the next to go?
56:24Going once, going twice, 5,000!
56:29You're fired.