Taskmaster AU S03 E02
Taskmaster AU S03 E02
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00:00No!
00:02Oh!
00:04Aah!
00:06Yay!
00:08Boo!
00:10We made it!
00:12Whoop!
00:14Whoop!
00:16Whoo!
00:18Whee!
00:20Whee!
00:22Whoop!
00:24Whoop!
00:26Whoop!
00:28Is this good television?
00:30APPLAUSE
00:38Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:41I may be Tom Gleeson by day,
00:43but by night, across ten weeks of the calendar year,
00:46I take on another title.
00:48A title that, in a single word,
00:50may answer some of humanity's deepest questions,
00:53like why do we exist?
00:55For whom do we toil?
00:57And why have I found myself watching commercial television again?
01:02That three-syllable title is, of course,
01:05the Taskmaster!
01:09This season, our five comedians are...
01:24And finally, the other one sitting here,
01:26he has a presence that gives me chills
01:28even before he enters the room,
01:30and crows always squawk at him.
01:32It's my assistant, Tom Cashman.
01:38How are you, weirdo?
01:40Oh, I'm OK.
01:43I've been privy to some celebrity gossip recently.
01:46Oh. OK.
01:48I know how Rebel Wilson got her name.
01:50Her last name was named after the volleyball in Cast Away.
01:54And her first name, that's from the shop
01:56where the volleyball was purchased.
02:02So in your act, is that material?
02:05Look, I'll be honest, I have done it on stage before.
02:10I had a feeling. Don't drag your old shit in here again.
02:16All right, what's up first?
02:17Well, our first task is a prize task.
02:19Each contestant has brought in a prize,
02:21and the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:24Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
02:26what they consider to be the cheekiest thing in a box.
02:30Cheeky Rhys, what have you brought in?
02:32I've brought a few kilos of premium beef cheek.
02:39OK, very literal definition there.
02:41Yeah, not too many jokes, it's just a bit of a meat raffle
02:44happening down here at Taskmaster.
02:46Bring the truck, bring the trailer, kids get in free.
02:50I grew up in Newcastle.
02:52You know what you've accidentally done there
02:54is you've brought in something that's useful.
02:56Can you say that in my dad's voice, please?
03:03All right, Mel, what did you bring in?
03:05I brought in a thing called a pup in a cup.
03:07So I've slightly pulled the literal definition of box.
03:13That's eye-catching.
03:16It's a children's toy, Rhys.
03:19OK, I think Rhys thinks it's some other toy.
03:23No, it pops up.
03:24So you squeeze the cup and the...
03:28Yay!
03:31OK, not bad. Aaron?
03:33I brought the Mr Bean box set.
03:40Now, this guy's so cheeky, one time he put a turkey on his head.
03:48And most people like to drive cars sitting inside the car.
03:54But this guy, he drove it sitting on top of it.
03:59Aaron, what are some other things Mr Bean's done?
04:03If you think he's not cheeky, then listen to this.
04:07One time, Mr Bean damaged an extremely expensive painting
04:13and he replaced it with a print.
04:18Concetta, what did you bring in?
04:20I brought in the cheekiest guy.
04:22Get a load of this guy.
04:29I think you've mistaken cheekiness with pervertedness.
04:35All right, Peter, what did you bring in that's cheeky?
04:38Well, mine was not dissimilar to what we just saw,
04:41but I think it is cheekier.
04:44It is the Dalai Lama taking a dump.
04:53A little cheeky dump.
04:54I found this on my travels in Barcelona.
04:56Right.
04:57I thought I had no profile in Spain.
05:00But there was a Peter Hellyer one in the shop in Barcelona.
05:08It's pretty cheeky of them to be making money off my name.
05:11I've never worn that. I don't wear glasses.
05:13But it's definitely me.
05:17I think that might be Elton John.
05:20Oh, yeah, I see that now.
05:23Can I bring something to your attention?
05:25Yes.
05:26The three people in the middle here, none of their prizes are in boxes.
05:29Right, well, Mel did say she just stretched the definition of box to cup.
05:33Yes, because it's in a thing, and is that thing a box?
05:36I don't know how to say. I'm not a box doctor. Or am I?
05:40All right, well, I'd better score this.
05:42Knowing that three aren't in a box is very persuasive
05:45that they should at least be the bottom three.
05:47So I'm going to say Pete gets one point.
05:49Can Cheddar on two?
05:50OK.
05:51Mel's item, even though it wasn't in a box,
05:53did look genuinely cheeky out of all the items that we had.
05:56I think Mel's was the cheekiest.
05:57Three points to Mel.
05:58Rhys on four points.
05:59Because beef cheeks, you can just cook them up and eat them.
06:01It's quite useful.
06:02But Aaron gets five points.
06:05All right, time for a task, I think.
06:07This task involves something I've been searching for my whole life.
06:10A team.
06:11A team.
06:12It's our first team task for the season.
06:26Hi, Tom.
06:28Oh, I don't think you're ready for all this jelly.
06:35Hey, Tom.
06:36Hi, Pete.
06:37You look good.
06:38I feel good.
06:39Oh, my God!
06:41G'day, mate.
06:42I'm going to cry.
06:46We've come dressed alike.
06:48Again.
06:49Should we catch up?
06:50Tom, can you give us a moment?
06:52Yeah, can you get us a couple of mimosas, Tom?
06:55Let's go talk.
06:56Tom, listen.
06:57Is he mean to you?
06:58Yes!
06:59Yeah, I know.
07:00And he's annoying.
07:01Oh!
07:05Good to see you, Pete.
07:06Good to see you.
07:07What have you been up to?
07:08Just hanging out with my balls.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Really?
07:11Together?
07:12Together.
07:13Wearing your exercise ball vest.
07:14I guess that's these.
07:15Yep.
07:16Collect the seven odd shapes from around the Tarsmaster retreat
07:20and stack them into a perfectly square tower on the oblong.
07:24You may not tamper with or remove your exercise ball vest.
07:27Also, one of you must whisper an original supportive sentence
07:32in the ear of a team-mate every 30 seconds.
07:36Fastest wins.
07:37Oh, my God, are we going to go?
07:39Are you listening, Kinchetta?
07:40Sorry.
07:41That's that last line.
07:42Your time starts now.
07:45Let's all go together and find a round of retreat.
07:47You look like hemorrhoids.
07:48OK, let's go.
07:54I love the team task.
07:55Very exciting.
07:56I'll have to think of names for the teams too.
07:58Oh, that would be good.
08:00So, just to be clear,
08:01the game is basically hide and seek plus Tetris
08:04if you're pregnant with four babies.
08:07And the team of three must whisper
08:09an original supportive sentence every 30 seconds.
08:11The other team don't have to do that.
08:13What the hell?
08:14Just to make it slightly more difficult.
08:15You have an unfair advantage.
08:16There's three of you.
08:17Yeah, but it's so hard to think of nice things
08:19to say to these guys.
08:22All right, so which team is going to start us off?
08:24Making their debut with their debutante balls,
08:27it's Kinchetta and Mel.
08:28I see one!
08:30Oh, my God!
08:32Mel!
08:33Mel, they're huge!
08:35I got one too!
08:36OK, I'm going to keep going in.
08:41Ah!
08:42Another one!
08:44Brilliant.
08:45Got another one.
08:46OK, here's one.
08:47There's one right here.
08:48OK, I grab that, you go to the shed.
08:51Now, how do I do this?
08:53Oh, I got one.
08:55Oh, babe!
08:57Babe, this is where the challenge really begins.
09:00OK, so we've got to be smart.
09:02Perhaps these shouldn't be together.
09:0469ing.
09:06The yellows on this.
09:08Yeah, that's looking hot.
09:10You can mount that one.
09:11Just wanted to hang out with my friend today,
09:13but I guess we'll just do this shit for your pleasure.
09:18I think we're close.
09:19And I didn't realise what a burden
09:21having four testicles would be.
09:23There you go, perfect square.
09:25Done.
09:26We're so close.
09:28We're smart, funny women now with beautiful hair.
09:33We do have good hair.
09:34We need to get this.
09:36What about, like...
09:38Like, should the yellows be together and then, like, flat, flat?
09:42Oh, this is...
09:43How long have we been going?
09:4515 minutes and 51 seconds.
09:47We have to start again.
09:48No, I'm not starting again.
09:50But we won't...
09:51He'll keep us here forever until we do it.
09:53No, we will not die here.
09:54We'll not be at our 80th birthday going,
09:56I think we could probably make it work.
09:58Do you think you could potentially,
10:00after 15 minutes of trying something,
10:02not be focusing on dying here?
10:04It would get me out of finishing this f***ing thing.
10:07We had to move one thing.
10:09It all works perfectly till blue and yellow.
10:12What if they were swapped around?
10:14You beautiful bitch.
10:15Like, what if they were, like, better friends somehow?
10:18You're a smart f***ing whore!
10:20You did it! You f***ing did it!
10:22I'm so proud of you!
10:24Oh, shit!
10:25It's hard. I'll help you. Let me help you.
10:37So, Mel, you started solving a puzzle,
10:40you hit one small obstacle, then you wanted to end it all.
10:44Do you think you may have overreacted?
10:46No, I think I need meds and a chat.
10:49I love Conchetta like the stepdaughter she is to me,
10:52but she's raised by her phone and, like,
10:55we did not see eye to eye on how to solve that problem.
10:59In that Conchetta tried and you didn't.
11:04So you were in charge of being cross and whinging
11:06and Conchetta was in charge of being optimistic, I felt.
11:08I felt like you were quite happy to have a go.
11:10I was so excited to see Mel to, like, split the challenge of the task.
11:15I had only so many brain cells working.
11:18So, Conchetta, you were happy and Mel was very cross.
11:21I feel like I've worked out the team name.
11:23Ernie and Bert.
11:27I think that's the team.
11:29I don't think I have to go out on a limb.
11:31The other team are three.
11:32I think I'm just going to call them the Muppets.
11:35I haven't even seen what they're going to do,
11:37but I feel like they're going to live up to the name.
11:39Conchetta and Mel took 18 minutes and five seconds
11:43to complete the puzzle.
11:44Speedy.
11:45OK. More ball suit shape-shifters after this.
11:51APPLAUSE
12:00Welcome back to Taskmaster,
12:01a show which has afforded Aaron Chen a unique opportunity
12:05to offload his bulky old DVDs as a prize.
12:08Speaking of DVDs, my nickname for this guy here is Special Features.
12:13Special Features, where are we?
12:15Our contestants are attempting to put seven shapes
12:18into a perfect square tower.
12:20The next team have to whisper encouragingly to each other
12:22every 30 seconds, and I was hoping maybe we could do
12:25a bit of an example of what they have to do.
12:27Oh. Um, you're not that annoying.
12:32That'll have to do. It's Aaron, Peter and Rhys.
12:35Oh, here's one.
12:37Hey!
12:38Your balls are my favourite.
12:43Forget what your parents told you. I believe in you, OK?
12:46That's so awesome.
12:48Was that supportive?
12:49It's really supportive, cos he's saying, like, he believes in me.
12:53As opposed to...? My parents who don't.
12:58I reckon that other yellow one comes on this side.
13:00Does the blue and the orange fit together? They don't.
13:02Aaron?
13:04Um, your outfit is spick and specks.
13:08Spick and speck.
13:10Spick and speck.
13:12This is the most brain training I've had for a while.
13:15Yeah, I reckon they go...
13:17I reckon that...
13:21Do we want to start with the yellows?
13:23What about like that? Yeah.
13:25Maybe the purple starts at the bottom.
13:27I don't know.
13:28This is good. I think this is good.
13:30Have you considered instituting a method of some kind?
13:32Just let us do the job, please. OK.
13:34Let's think about this laterally.
13:36Do I see the block there?
13:39This is like watching A Beautiful Mind right now.
13:41Yeah. Yeah. OK.
13:43Let's... Start again? Yeah.
13:45Let's start at the bottom.
13:48Maybe purple on the side next to the red. Have we done that?
13:51I don't know what we've done!
13:53I don't know what we've done,
13:55but I love that you're keeping your eye just straight.
13:57I don't think we could do this without you.
14:00To be fair, you've yet to prove that you can do it with it.
14:03What do you think your role is in this show?
14:05And then what if greeny... Green could go here.
14:08There's no long L shape is the problem.
14:10That's the problem?
14:11I think there's probably a series of problems.
14:13When's lunch?
14:14I'm going to get a coffee and then come back and...
14:16What would you like? What coffees?
14:18Let's have a flat white.
14:19Yeah, maybe triple shot espresso.
14:21Triple shot espresso?
14:22We've got to get this done. OK.
14:24Yeah, that looks like a flat white.
14:26That would be the triple espresso. Lovely.
14:28I mean, what if it is a square?
14:30Yeah, like E equals MC squared.
14:32Has anyone actually really road-tested that?
14:34Wait, what if we go... Put a pin in that for a second.
14:37Let's come back to that idea, but Aaron might have worked it out.
14:40Put this there.
14:41This is jazzing at the moment.
14:43It's good at the moment.
14:44Cue the stirring music.
14:45And then if you put the purple block
14:47and then I'll put the green in the middle there.
14:49Yes!
14:50Hold my coffee, thanks, Tom.
14:52I've got work to do, mate.
14:55WHISTLE BLOWS
14:56Yeah!
14:57CHEERING
15:02I hate to say I told you so, but the Muppets delivered.
15:06And I must say, I've never seen a group take so long
15:09to do a task that they had a coffee break in the middle.
15:12You spent nine minutes not adding or moving any blocks,
15:15just talking about whether to get a pepperoni or supreme pizza
15:18while waiting for your coffee.
15:20And I still reckon pepperoni.
15:23Peter, you seem quite confused with basic shapes.
15:27And then you thought from that position
15:29you could launch into questioning E equals MC squared.
15:32It's not my strength.
15:33You know, I know basic stuff.
15:35I know H2O is water, but I thought CO2 was cordial.
15:38That's...
15:39That's where I'm...
15:41That's where I'm at. That's where I'm at.
15:45Aaron, did I hear you get a triple shot?
15:47Yeah.
15:48Do you get a triple shot all the time?
15:50No, just to get through this day.
15:52Well, you think that the challenge is putting the blocks together,
15:55but it's dealing with these guys.
15:58They are hard work.
16:00I've also got a list of a few compliments.
16:03Aaron to Pete, you're a nice bastard.
16:07Pete to Aaron, you should have hosted Fisk.
16:15Pete to Rhys, I like the way you took control of our pizza order,
16:18cos I don't think the production took it seriously for a while there.
16:22Until you were like, no, we want pizza.
16:27Pete to Aaron, I'm a bit worried if we have coffee and pizza,
16:30I might shit my pants.
16:36All right, well, I need to come up with the score.
16:38Well, if we remember correctly,
16:40Conchita and Mel took 18 minutes and 5 seconds.
16:42The Muppets took 52 minutes and 15 seconds.
16:47I think Ernie and Bert obviously win five points each.
16:53And the Muppets get 2-2-2.
16:55All right, hit us with another task.
16:57This next task deploys a device that I relate to.
17:00It hovers around and has an SD card inside it
17:03that's very hard to get out.
17:07LAUGHTER
17:21Hi, Tom. Hi, Rhys.
17:23How are you doing? I'm OK.
17:25Holy schmokes.
17:29This for me? Great. I was hoping this would be it.
17:31Film the most emotional scene on this drone.
17:34You must not get closer than five metres from the drone
17:38during drone scene filming.
17:40Most emotional drone scene wins.
17:43You have 60 minutes.
17:45Your time starts now.
17:48Never filmed an emotional drone scene before.
17:50Really? Yeah, never.
17:52I think you'll betray me and I'll have to murder you
17:55and then go outside and mourn.
17:57Thank you for saying that my death would be a horrific tragedy.
18:00In the film.
18:02Drones these days are used for a lot of property videos.
18:05Like real estate? Real estate videos.
18:07What are some of the huge emotional moments in life?
18:10You lose something. Fiction.
18:12Wallet, yeah, wallet. Phone.
18:14God, imagine losing your phone. Losing your phone, wow.
18:17Do you think you could play a guy who's cheated on me?
18:19Oh, I'm actually quite loyal, but I'll...
18:22Remember that very powerful scene in Saving Private Ryan?
18:26I haven't seen it. OK.
18:28Can we just do a bit of improv now?
18:31Hi, Fabio. Hey.
18:33Who is she? Her name's Emma.
18:36You're just going to say her name? Yeah.
18:38That poor? She's awesome.
18:40What's your strongest European language?
18:43I did a year of German in Year 8.
18:46Me too. Is this our first idea?
18:48Could we go...better?
18:51No, there's nothing more important in life than your phone.
18:54Ich habe eine große Hose schonen.
18:57Hose schonen.
18:59What's that? Trouser snake.
19:01That's going to be the first line of the film.
19:04OK. Yeah.
19:11So we've got quite a range there.
19:13Pete thought it would be, like, very emotional
19:15if you lost your sons in a war,
19:17and Mel, you thought it would be emotional if you lost your phone.
19:20I stand by that, cos I've had to choose
19:23between getting my son out of the bath
19:25or maybe dropping my phone in the bath,
19:27and, oh, I took a bit too long to make that choice.
19:32OK. Whose drone are we going to look at first?
19:34You can catch her droning on the airwaves every morning.
19:37It's Conchetta Caristo.
19:39Today's the day. He's going to propose. I can feel it.
19:42Oh, Emma. Oh, Emma.
19:45Take the moment in, Conchetta. It's happening.
19:48Oh, it's so naughty. Mwah, mwah.
19:51He's been sneaking around and trying to find the perfect ring.
19:54I'm sexting you on my iPad.
19:57So soak it up, babe.
19:59Here's to forever.
20:03Take the moment in, Conchetta. It's happening.
20:06Hi, babe. Hi, Conchetta.
20:09Missed you.
20:11Conchetta. Yeah?
20:15I found this dog shit on the ground.
20:17I thought you'd like it.
20:19You don't know me at all.
20:25Really good.
20:27Do you often offer women dog shit?
20:30I would like to say that Conchetta scripted that scene.
20:34Were you worried people would watch that and think it was all true?
20:37I think my concern wasn't that people would think it was true,
20:40but it was more that they would think I was doing stuff
20:42that I'd done before, like kissing a mannequin repeatedly.
20:45You kissing the mannequin wasn't that disturbing,
20:47cos I felt pretty sure you'd never done that before.
20:50Whereas I felt that, Conchetta, you have sat in a bathtub
20:53looking at a mirror of yourself before.
20:55Was that based on your life?
20:57Yeah, that's a self-care Sunday.
21:01All right, more drone. Take me higher, Lesser Tom.
21:04It would be my dream. Here's Rhys Nicholson.
21:10G'day. I'm Tom from Cashman, Cashman and Cashman Real Estate.
21:14We're here at the Taskmaster Retreat. It's a three-better.
21:17Oh! Oh! Oh!
21:22How's this for negative, Gary?
21:42Catharsis.
21:44LAUGHTER
22:03Catharsis.
22:05You're a millennial and you're complaining about real estate prices.
22:08How did you come up with this unique opinion?
22:11I think that I looked at everyone's life from my parents and before that
22:15and thought, f***!
22:18Right. But don't you own a house?
22:21Yeah, I own two.
22:24So you're just cynically trying to be down with your generation
22:27when really your generation is called your tenants.
22:33All right, time for some ads.
22:35Why not call your local real estate agent and check in on them?
22:38We'll be back soon with more high, intense blades
22:41flying close to underinsured comedians' faces.
22:53Welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:55So far we've seen comedians using a drone to film
22:58tragically depressing things like a break-up or catharsis
23:01or Lesser Tom's face.
23:03Who's next?
23:05There's a lot of buzz around her at the moment.
23:07From the aerial filming equipment, here's Mel Buttle.
23:11Oh, my phone's on my pocket.
23:13Um, oh, it might be the car. I'll check the car.
23:24It's not in the car.
23:26My phone's not in the car, which means it's...
23:30It fell in the bath!
23:33Come back to me, baby. Baby, come back.
23:35Come on, come on. It wasn't that much water.
23:37Let me blow in your hole.
23:39I'm going to need rice.
23:41I'm going to need 500g of white rice.
23:43Does anyone have anything?
23:46It's not in chewing.
23:59Powerful. Very emotional. Thank you.
24:01To be fair, even though it was a trivial problem,
24:03I felt the emotion was real.
24:05It's very real, Tom.
24:07Can I just say, Mel, and I love you, but you were like,
24:09this girl was raised by her phone.
24:11And then your whole thing was about your phone.
24:13Yeah, but I've got two degrees, so it's different.
24:17Is the name of that film Nobody Had Rice?
24:20Because that's a tragedy in my culture as well.
24:28Thank you, Aaron, for saying a joke
24:30that none of us could have said.
24:34LAUGHTER
24:38Who have we got next, then?
24:40He's done a lot of work on air, but can he work up in the air?
24:43The answer is up in the air. Here's Aaron Chan.
24:55Good, good.
25:03Seven, eight, nine, ten.
25:07Yeah.
25:10The British spy.
25:12Beg your pardon?
25:14Speak in the English.
25:17The target.
25:26Yeah!
25:34Hello, just...
25:53Nein, nein, nein.
25:55Move, you are German.
25:57Oh.
25:59You can't!
26:04Go on.
26:29So...
26:32I feel like there was not so much German,
26:34but there was a lot of English.
26:36It was a co-production between two nations.
26:40Can I say, the other people often would give me a script of what to say.
26:45Aaron refused to give me a script and said,
26:48you just have to improvise using all the German you know.
26:53OK, one more drone scene left.
26:55Can he get more emotional than when he realised
26:57he actually had to finish a puzzle earlier?
26:59It's Peter Hellyer.
27:07Hello, hello.
27:09I'm Mrs Ryan.
27:11Hello, Mrs Ryan.
27:13Are you from the army?
27:15Yes.
27:17That's a coincidence.
27:19I have four sons currently serving in World War II.
27:21Is that a letter for me, for my sons?
27:23On my birthday?
27:25Sorry.
27:27Sorry, this is the happiest day of my life.
27:29That's why I'm wearing my happy clothes.
27:33Oh.
27:35What?
27:37One of my sons is...
27:39No!
27:41So emotional.
27:43Well...
27:45Sorry.
27:47At least I have three more sons.
27:49This is a...
27:51Not another one.
27:53No!
27:55I'm so emotional.
27:57At least I have two more sons.
27:59Sorry.
28:01What?
28:03What?
28:07No!
28:09Oh, no.
28:11This is the worst day
28:13I've had in a long time.
28:15I'm very emotional.
28:17You've had worse days?
28:19Yes, I'm a big sports fan.
28:21Sometimes my team loses.
28:23Sorry.
28:25What? This is from my fourth son?
28:27Oh, don't tell me.
28:29Do not tell me.
28:31Not all...
28:33Oh, it's a Foxtel bill.
28:35220 bucks.
28:37No!
28:41So emotional.
28:47It was a very emotional scene, Pete.
28:49It was.
28:51It was a shoot. It took a while.
28:53The crew, there wasn't a dry eye.
28:55Even the audience, they're all...
28:57Don't show them.
28:59I don't want you to show them, but they are all...
29:01They're all crying.
29:03And also, I felt like you frocking up,
29:05it really kind of delivered on your 90s comedy roots.
29:07Yes.
29:09I've always been inspired by the footy show.
29:13Alright, well, I think that some
29:15delivered on the emotion more strongly than others.
29:17I feel like Reece's...
29:19I'm pandering to the masses
29:21by trying to tap into the current housing crisis,
29:23so I'm giving you one.
29:25Is there a housing crisis?
29:27Aaron, I'm giving two points to.
29:29It was an emotional film,
29:31but the emotion I felt was boredom.
29:33I'm giving three points to Conchetta
29:35because I felt those emotions were real,
29:37but weirdly not as real as Mel's emotion
29:39about missing a phone, so Mel gets four.
29:43And Peter Hellyer, because he made me feel happy
29:45with some old-school comedy,
29:47gets five points.
29:51OK, while remote controls
29:53are essential to operate drones,
29:55when it comes to ones for television,
29:57it's poor form to touch them at times like this.
29:59See you after some advertising.
30:11Welcome back to Taskmaster.
30:13We're not even two episodes into the season
30:15and Pete Hellyer's already put on a dress.
30:17Would you like a score update?
30:19Ah, yes.
30:21So currently we have Reece in last place on seven points,
30:23but Mel Buttle is currently in the lead with 12 points.
30:29Have you got another task?
30:31Sure do. I would like to apologise to all these supernatural women
30:33whose headgear we used for this next one.
30:45Very interesting.
30:47Oh!
30:49Tom?
30:53OK.
30:57Crack the seal on another one.
30:59Hide these 10 Witches' Hats
31:01on a Taskmaster retreat.
31:03You have ten minutes to hide them.
31:05Tom Muldoon.
31:07Tom Muldoon.
31:09Tom Muldoon.
31:11Tom Muldoon.
31:13You have ten minutes to hide them.
31:15Tom will then have ten minutes to search for them.
31:17Most Witches' Hats remaining hidden
31:19after Tom's search wins.
31:21Time starts now. Hide ten.
31:29Interesting approach there, Aaron.
31:31Your first thought was to run away from the Witches' Hats.
31:33I thought I had to hide from them.
31:37Alright, this seems pretty straightforward.
31:39A game of Cone, Hide and Seek.
31:41Who are we seeing first?
31:43It's easy to tell which is which,
31:45but which is better at hiding Witches' Hats?
31:47Conchetta or Pete?
31:51You probably see that straight away.
31:53I'll come back for that.
31:55Oh, that's too heavy. See ya. Come on!
31:59OK.
32:01You've just one at a time!
32:03I bought that idea.
32:07Shit!
32:11Oh, God!
32:13So unfit!
32:15He's gonna look in the shed straight away.
32:17Behind the shed.
32:21Oh, God!
32:23OK. Back to running.
32:25Right in there.
32:29Good luck, mate.
32:31Good f***ing luck.
32:35Why that?
32:37I heard him back here.
32:39I've spotted three cones.
32:41Where are the others?
32:43There's a fourth.
32:45Not even hidden at all.
32:47There's one on the roof.
32:49I found three.
32:51Where did you put the other cones?
32:53That means it's down here.
32:55I found three.
32:57Three more. I found six in total.
32:59Seven.
33:01There's another one.
33:03Eighth one. Spotted.
33:05There's two more.
33:07Oh!
33:09F***!
33:11The task's over, Pete.
33:13I found eight. Well done.
33:15Blow your whistle.
33:17Blow it.
33:19Blow it.
33:21OK. Six seconds left.
33:23Five, four, three, two, one.
33:25Good stuff, Pete.
33:27You really eluded me with the two.
33:29Three, two, one.
33:31That wasn't a whistle.
33:33Good stuff, Pete.
33:35That wasn't a whistle.
33:37It wasn't a whistle.
33:49That's actually it.
33:51Hang on a second.
33:53I'm going to try to get this door open, mate.
33:55There it is.
33:57Mate, I was doing my best.
33:59Yeah, right, you were trying to open it.
34:01I was trying.
34:03Why did you live through here?
34:05I literally was running non-stop and I couldn't fit them in.
34:07OK.
34:09You just get to prance around like a little fairy,
34:11but I'm literally doing manual labour.
34:13Were you trying on your side?
34:15Yeah, I was trying on my side.
34:17I was definitely trying on my side.
34:19Thanks, Pete.
34:21Yeah, speak about it.
34:23Pete, I'm surprised your strategy of chucking the cones
34:25and running didn't pay off.
34:27I wish I had thought about
34:29locking Tom in a room earlier.
34:33I love in these little tasks just seeing
34:35what a true little psycho you are.
34:37Like, when you were going...
34:39..that I was like,
34:41"[Bleep], yeah!"
34:45I'd been given a task to find as many as I could
34:47and I took that seriously.
34:49I feel like we've got an insight into what you look like, Pete,
34:51on bin night.
34:53Throwing shit in all different directions.
34:55Now, Conchetta,
34:57you implied that his job's very easy,
34:59unlike you, who was doing manual labour.
35:01Mm-hm.
35:03Is that what you think manual labour is?
35:05No, seriously, Tom.
35:07They were so heavy.
35:09Like, for it to be equal, you should wear
35:11cement blocks around your feet.
35:13So it seemed like a really hard job
35:15from the basis that you work at Triple J.
35:17LAUGHTER
35:19For both Pete and Conchetta,
35:21I found eight of the ten cones.
35:23All right, Lesser Tom, who's next?
35:25It's the two contestants who are most frustrated
35:27by my presence throughout the series.
35:29Will they thrive in my absence? It's Mel and Rhys.
35:31WHISTLE BLOWS
35:33MUSIC PLAYS
35:35Where did you put the cones?
35:37What? What?
35:39Hi, Tom. Two cones up there.
35:41Uh, maybe. I don't know.
35:43I'm not sure where they are. Where did you put the other cones?
35:45Um, I can't remember.
35:47You'll never get.
35:59They didn't see it.
36:11Third time.
36:15I'm trying to think where you'd put them.
36:25Oh shit, that's not what we want at all.
36:34Well, I'm finding that one.
36:37Paul Stone, would you like to give me a hint?
36:45Um, they're orange and they're about that big, quick, go, quick sticks.
36:57Another hint?
36:58A woman hid them, think like a woman, what would a woman do?
37:03I have no idea.
37:04I know.
37:05Oh, good boy.
37:06Don't, don't, don't, no.
37:07That's a cone.
37:08That's two.
37:09You're doing so well, Tom.
37:10I haven't even found half of them.
37:11About a minute, I reckon.
37:13That's a cone.
37:14That's two.
37:15You're doing so well, Tom.
37:16I haven't even found half of them.
37:21About a minute, I reckon.
37:31That's a cone.
37:36That's two.
37:40Good boy.
37:41You think I'm too smart. I just hear them really dumb places.
37:44Like where?
37:45Up your butt.
37:47Oh.
37:48We've got to swap jobs, haven't we?
37:50A little bit.
37:51I can't let you know how you've done because my job's just to administer the task.
37:54Bye Tom.
38:00I'm surprised you didn't find more of Reece's cones since they were so close to home.
38:05And by that I mean up your arse.
38:08I got them up there pretty far.
38:10I'm not sure the task went as you planned, Lesser Tom.
38:14There were so many of you just walked by.
38:15I know, I'm sorry.
38:16Did a man look, didn't ya?
38:25Now Reece, I see your strategy of hiding the cones worked well for you,
38:28unlike Pete's where you just throw them in a ditch.
38:30I was so puffed by the end of it.
38:32To watch that footage would be quite troubling for me, I think,
38:34because I was muttering to myself like I was burying a backpacker.
38:38Like it was...
38:44I've never said that before and I never will again.
38:50Mel, were you tempted to tell Tom where the cones were when he asked?
38:54No, not once, no.
38:56No, I hated the maggot.
39:01So, what are the stats?
39:02Mel, I found five.
39:04And for Reece, I only found two out of ten cones.
39:09OK.
39:10It's time for an ad break.
39:12If you don't want to watch the ads, pay for a streaming version of this.
39:16If you don't want to pay for the streaming version,
39:18watch it on YouTube.
39:19I don't give a shit.
39:20Back soon.
39:21Woo!
39:31Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:33Before the break, we saw Reece and Mel are really good at cones.
39:36I wonder what that says about their teenage years.
39:39Right, next contestant, please.
39:41Can he make these high-viz cones low-viz?
39:43It's Aaron Chen.
39:51Hi, Aaron.
39:52How are you doing?
39:53Why did I do that?
40:00What are you doing, Aaron?
40:04Aaron?
40:05Hi, Tom.
40:06How are you, man?
40:07I'm all right. Are you locking me in here?
40:09I'm just hiding cones, mainly.
40:11Oh, OK.
40:13How much longer, Tom?
40:1535 seconds.
40:16I'm getting pretty worried.
40:19You know.
40:31Hi, Aaron.
40:40There's one.
40:41I had a lot of time to hide that.
40:43It's two.
40:45There's three.
40:46Double cone.
40:47That's four.
40:48Where did you hide the cones?
40:49You broke the door, mate.
40:50You broke the door?
40:51There's property damage.
40:52You put a lock on it.
40:55Oh, my God.
40:56Did he fall? Yes!
41:01Oh, my God.
41:02I hope you're not OK.
41:04Did you hide any down here?
41:05Yeah, heaps.
41:06One, two, three, four, five.
41:08Five spotted.
41:09Only one remaining.
41:10All this happened for no reason.
41:12Yeah, you broke property as well.
41:13Stop focusing on the property.
41:16Sorry, do you guys mind calling the owners?
41:18Cos there's been a bit of property damage.
41:22How'd you go?
41:25Nine out of ten.
41:26You put a padlock on the shed?
41:27Yeah, to make sure that the property was secure.
41:30It wasn't very secure, though, was it?
41:31See you later, mate.
41:32I'm OK with it, but I don't know.
41:34They probably won't be able to show some of that footage
41:37cos of certain crimes being committed.
41:39Could actually be bad for your reputation.
41:42Thanks, Aaron.
41:46Aaron, you went from cat got the cream to humble pie very quickly.
41:50How long did you think you were going to keep him in there for?
41:53I thought it was secure.
41:56But it wasn't even the padlock that broke,
41:58it was the hinge itself.
42:00That's why I was saying it's property damage.
42:02When we left the property, we informed the owners
42:04and they said, oh, yeah, that's been faulty for a while,
42:06that's fine.
42:08So it was an inside job.
42:11I think we were all very pleased to see you make Lesser Tom slip over.
42:15I feel like an extra point might be allocated there, Lesser Tom.
42:18I really enjoyed watching you fall on your face.
42:21For Aaron, I found nine, so Rhys should get five,
42:24Mel should get four.
42:25How many points are we giving Pete and Conchetta?
42:27Pete and Conchetta maybe should get three each.
42:29OK.
42:30To leave room for...
42:31Well, Aaron's normally last on one,
42:33but he did make you slip over, so he gets two.
42:35Gotcha.
42:38All right, it's almost time for our live task,
42:40but first, what does our scoreboard look like overall, Lesser Tom?
42:43With 16 points, Mel is our current top dog.
42:46CHEERING
42:50Let's head upstairs for the final task of the show.
42:53CHEERING
42:57All right, Lesser Tom, what are we doing now?
42:59Pete, read the task, please.
43:01Be humble as pie about...
43:05Be humble as pie about your pie.
43:08Each contestant will have 15 seconds to be humble about their pie.
43:13Least humble about their pie will be eliminated.
43:17The first speaker will begin on Tom's whistle.
43:21Ready, set...
43:23WHISTLE BLOWS
43:24Ooh, God, the pastry's a bit affordable.
43:26It's made from margarine, not butter, and it's not very brown,
43:29but, um, it's the best I've got, it's the best I can do.
43:34Pete.
43:36Yeah, um, it's OK.
43:38You know, it's not as good as my mum's or my nan's
43:41or my great-grandfather, who fought in the War of Gallipoli,
43:44and they used to make...
43:46They used to make pies, but that's about it.
43:49Concetta.
43:51Hey, I would love you to have this, but I...
43:54Like, I know I look fancy, but I don't know what I'm doing.
43:58Like, I... I'm a loser, and you're so cool.
44:03Rhys.
44:08There's just so many good birds that I could have chosen.
44:11These don't even like good shiny shit.
44:13It's just...
44:15Ready, Aaron?
44:20Oh, man, yeah, this is... It's...
44:22It's just... It's a number, you know?
44:25I mean, like, forget... Forget about it.
44:27Yeah, it sucks.
44:30APPLAUSE
44:32The least humble was Aaron Chen.
44:34He very arrogantly threw his pie on the ground.
44:37I didn't realise it could bake.
44:40Noel, could you read this one, please?
44:42Certainly.
44:44Be keen as mustard about your mustard.
44:46Your keenness starts now.
44:48Oh, my God, it's awesome! It's in powder form!
44:51Like, you can go like this, and it's like...
44:53Yeah, you can be like, whoo!
44:55And, like, it's awesome! I want you to play with it, Tom!
44:58You get in it! Oh, no, it's... Yes!
45:01Yes!
45:03Rhys.
45:05That is the chemical formula for mustard gas.
45:08Ah!
45:10Ah!
45:12Ah!
45:15Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
45:18Ah!
45:20Ah!
45:25Mel.
45:27Oh, wowie! Look at that! Oh, my God.
45:30I want to get in there. I want to lick that.
45:32I want to rip that off. I'm... Oh!
45:34Oh, jeez, Louise, that is some good...
45:36I want to touch it. Oh, that's...
45:38Heat.
45:40Oh, yes.
45:42Oh! Oh!
45:44Oh, God!
45:46Oh!
45:48Oh!
45:52I don't think Rhys was keen.
45:54They just seemed terrified.
45:58Thank you, Sean.
46:04Oh, damn, that's lit as fam.
46:06Wicked.
46:08Well, what's the dealio?
46:10Um, stop blowing up my phone with SMSs.
46:13Um, stop tweeting me!
46:15Heat.
46:17All right, whatever. Cool.
46:19You know, it's cool. It's cool. Whatever.
46:21I don't care. I'll just, you know, just go for the...
46:23LAUGHTER
46:25Just...
46:29WHISTLE BLOWS
46:33Oh, yeah, this whole thing.
46:35This thing rides a motorcycle,
46:37and, you know, it's like,
46:39I don't even care, like...
46:41WHISTLE BLOWS
46:43I can't lie to Pete.
46:45He was the least cool before he even tried.
46:47LAUGHTER
46:49Can you read this, please?
46:51No.
46:53About your silk.
46:55Smoothest wins.
46:57No.
46:59What's up, G? You come here often?
47:01There, Mum, are you?
47:03Woo-hoo!
47:05Oh, mm-mm, did you just walk in here
47:07looking like this, or...?
47:09Wow, heaven is missing an angel.
47:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
47:13Yeah.
47:15Oh, baby doll,
47:17the way
47:19you make me feel.
47:21You nasty
47:23girl.
47:25You a smooth...
47:27WHISTLE BLOWS
47:29APPLAUSE
47:31LAUGHTER
47:33Given my wife
47:35and children watch this show,
47:37Mel was the smoothest.
47:39Thank you, Tom.
47:41OK, the contestants have to walk from
47:43up there to down here, and it takes just long enough
47:45for us to wedge in an ant break.
47:47See you soon!
47:49APPLAUSE
47:57Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:59We're about to find out who the best comedian
48:01is of all time in Australia
48:03on this channel,
48:05in this episode tonight.
48:07But before we do that, who won the live
48:09task, Tom? Well, Aaron took away
48:11a cool one point, Rhys a smooth two,
48:13Pete a keen three, Conchetta a
48:15humble four, and Mel took it out
48:17with a spicy five points. Thank you!
48:19APPLAUSE
48:21OK, now what we really want to know,
48:23who will be leaving the show tonight
48:25with that horrible, horrible
48:27captivating gnome? Well, Aaron
48:29was in last place with 12 points, Pete and Rhys
48:31in third, equal on 14 points,
48:33Conchetta second with 17 points,
48:35and Mel way out in front with blackjack,
48:3721 points!
48:39APPLAUSE
48:41Congratulations, Mel.
48:43Head up on stage and collect
48:45a variety of cheeky crapping boxes.
48:47At lesser Tom,
48:49what's our season scoreboard
48:51looking like? Well, there are only three
48:53points between all of them, so it's neck and neck
48:55and neck and neck and neck,
48:57with Conchetta in the lead
48:59with 32 points this season.
49:01APPLAUSE
49:03OK, and that brings
49:05us to the end of another episode of
49:07Taskmaster. We've learned Aaron definitely
49:09doesn't sprecken any Deutsch,
49:11and we've learned that professional
49:13comedian Tom Cashman is at
49:15his funniest when face-planting into
49:17mud.
49:19Now let's learn how Mel Buttle
49:21will enjoy their prizes. See you next week!
49:23APPLAUSE
49:25MUSIC
49:27MUSIC
49:29MUSIC
49:31MUSIC
49:33MUSIC
49:35MUSIC
49:37MUSIC
49:39MUSIC