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00:30All right! The Friday Night Book Club will now come to order!
00:37Does anyone have a special request for reading tonight?
00:39Yeah! Let's make it something really funny!
00:42Oh, I'd like to read something adventurous!
00:45Yes, something with a great hero!
00:47Or heroine!
00:49Every story has a hero!
00:51Or heroine!
00:53You know, for every good hero, or heroine, there's an equally evil villain.
00:58And all these stories have villains!
01:00Right down to Little Red Riding Hood!
01:03Yeah! That's got a great villain! The wolf!
01:07It must be terrible to be a villain!
01:09Everybody hates villains!
01:11Nobody loves a villain!
01:13I think if I were a villain, I'd know that I was doing something wrong, and I'd stop doing it!
01:29Oh, gee, read more?
01:31Uh, that's me! Who are you?
01:34I am Visac! I run the Villains Agency!
01:38I represent all the villains in books written, and not yet written!
01:42The best of the worst!
01:45You've insulted all my villainous friends!
01:48Oh, I didn't mean to insult them! It's just natural not to like them!
01:53There wouldn't be a good show without them!
01:56There wouldn't be a good story without them!
01:59The Villains Agency held a special meeting and voted to teach you a lesson!
02:04Uh, what kind of lesson?
02:07This kind!
02:14Oh, this kind of lesson?
02:27Where am I?
02:29I mean, I know it's a forest, but what forest?
02:32Oh, what story am I in?
02:34I feel so strange! I feel almost like snarling!
02:42What's the matter with me? I must be having a bad day!
02:46Freeze!
02:47Yes?
02:50Gotcha, Black!
02:51Wait a moment! Don't point that thing!
02:54It's a case of mistaken identity!
02:56No mistake!
02:57I'm Captain O.G. Readmore! I encourage people to, uh, read more!
03:05Get it?
03:06I'll get you!
03:08Oh, you got the wrong cat!
03:11Cat? Ah, you're the one all right! I never forget a snout!
03:16What have I done? Who am I supposed to be?
03:19You know who you are and what you've done, and I'm gonna make sure you never do it again!
03:31Oh, gee, why is he shooting at me?
03:34I sure wish I could figure out which story I'm in and who I'm supposed to be!
03:41Hey!
03:43Oh, I have big ears! Oh, and what a big snout I have!
03:47Oh, and what a sharp tooth I have!
03:52Oh, I'm a wolf! I've turned into a wolf!
03:56Oh, no! Am I in the story of Little Red Riding Hood?
04:00In that one, the wolf gets...
04:04Uh-oh!
04:12I'm Little Red Riding Hood
04:14I'm awfully, awfully good
04:16I'm known throughout the woods
04:18As Little Red Riding Hood
04:21Red, Red Riding Hood
04:24Out here, Momsy!
04:25Listen, my precious Little Red Riding Hood
04:29The huntsman stopped by for coffee this morning
04:32And told me that your Grandmomsy is feeling gafloui and burned out
04:38Oh, poor Grandmomsy!
04:40Let's give her some chicken noodle soup and a salami sandwich!
04:43I've got a sure cure! I'll make a quiche!
04:48Quiche! Grandmomsy will be up and dancing before he passes her tonsils!
04:53There's peppermint tea in there, too
04:55I want you to take it to her
04:57Now, pay attention
04:59The huntsman also said he'd seen a wolf out there in the woods
05:05Gee, he's full of bad news
05:07So be careful, go straight to Grandmomsy's
05:11Don't go off the path and don't get distracted
05:14I'll concentrate on it
05:16And above all, don't talk to strangers and tell them your business
05:21You do tend to run off at the mouth
05:23Oh, don't worry, Momsy! I know when to clam up!
05:32I'm Little Red Riding Hood
05:34I'm awfully, awfully good
05:36I'm known throughout the woods
05:38As Little Red Riding Hood
05:41Somebody's coming and it sounds like...
05:43I'm Little Red Riding Hood
05:45I'm awfully, awfully good
05:47It's Red Riding Hood's theme song!
05:49This is not a good tale to be a wolf in
05:52I've got to make a change in the story
05:54I know, I won't talk to her
05:57Yes, I'll hide and avoid her
05:59That'll keep me out of it and I won't be a villain
06:02I'm known throughout the woods
06:04I'm awfully, awfully good
06:06I'm known throughout the woods
06:08As Little Red Riding...
06:34Intéressant. Au revoir!
07:05No, no, please, don't tell me where you're going
07:07I don't want to know
07:09I've got a quiche and a peppermint tea in this basket
07:12I don't want to know what's in the basket
07:17Grand Momsy's feeling gafloui and burned out
07:21Look, I'm sorry to hear that, but...
07:24You're not the kind of wolf that eats people, are you?
07:27I'm not a wolf at all, honestly
07:29Let me give you some advice
07:31Don't go near your Grand Momsy's house
07:33Why not?
07:34Just trust me, don't go there
07:37But I have to deliver this basket
07:39Grand Momsy needs it
07:41All right, all right
07:42Say, listen, Little Red Riding Hood
07:44Wouldn't your Grand Momsy, uh...
07:47Enjoy sniffing some pretty flowers?
07:50Why don't you go pick some for her way over there?
07:56That's a great idea
07:58You're very thoughtful, Captain O.G. Wolfykin
08:04I am not a wolf, I am not a wolf, I am not a wolf, I am not a wolf
08:10Who is it?
08:11I am not a...
08:13I mean, it's Captain O.G. Readmore
08:16Grand Momsy, can we talk?
08:19Sounds like Red Riding Hood pulling voice tricks on me
08:23Come in, dearie
08:28You aren't mad at me, are you?
08:32You aren't my Little Red Riding Hood
08:35You look wolfish to me
08:37Well, looks can be deceiving
08:39I'm not a wolf
08:40I'm from the Friday Night Book Club in real life
08:42I don't want to buy any books
08:44I'm not here to sell you books
08:46I'm here to prevent you from being eaten
08:49Now get out of bed, open the door and start running
08:53I'm too burned out to run
08:55You're a character in a story
08:57When they get to your part, you'll be eaten by a wolf
09:00You?
09:01No, a real one
09:03The villain's agency made me look this way
09:05So I know what it's like to be a villain
09:07They want me to eat you, but I won't
09:10That means they'll send a real wolf over here
09:12To eat you just to keep the story going
09:14That's pure fiction
09:16You're trying to trick me
09:18You've got to get out of here, now
09:20Oh, you're a hurried wolf
09:22And you just want to make a game of catching and eating me
09:25Don't you?
09:26I won't eat you
09:31You snarl
09:33Book salesmen don't snarl
09:36It just came out of me
09:40There's another one, I can't control it
09:43I'm getting these strange feelings
09:46Like you're hungry?
09:52Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that
09:54Yes, I did
09:55No, I didn't
09:56Oh, please, let me help you to the door
09:58Just stay away from me
10:07Oh, I'm sorry, I keep losing control of myself
10:10I'm only trying to help you
10:12You're only trying to eat me
10:14Only trying to help you
10:15Only trying to eat me
10:17Trying to help you
10:18Trying to eat me
10:19Help you, eat me
10:20Help you, eat me
10:21Help you, eat me
10:22One more time
10:23Eat me
10:25If you insist
10:38Where am I?
10:40Grandmumsy
10:41Grandmumsy
10:43Grandmumsy, where are you?
10:45Don't you know?
10:48What have you done with Grandmumsy?
10:50What have I done with her?
10:53You did it all, don't you remember?
10:56I only remember everything turning weird and out of control
11:00And I was trying to help Grandmumsy
11:02And then everything went blank
11:04You ate her
11:06What?
11:07What do you think that is?
11:09Spaghetti?
11:11Spaghetti?
11:13Spaghetti
11:16Spaghetti and meatballs?
11:18No, no
11:20Yes, yes
11:22You ate her
11:24I didn't know what was happening
11:26Gobble, gobble, gobble?
11:28Oh, I ate Grandmumsy
11:30I ate Grandmumsy
11:31How could I do such a thing?
11:33How could I do it?
11:34Because you're a villain
11:36No, I'm not
11:38According to the laws of literature, you are
11:41Doesn't it feel great?
11:43No, it feels terrible
11:45All right, you proved your point
11:47I'm sorry I insulted your villains
11:49Please give them my apologies and get me out of here
11:52Sorry? The story is still running
11:55You're still in it
11:56And you're still the villain
11:58I quit
11:59Give me back my little ears, little teeth, little snout
12:05Here comes Red Riding Hood
12:07Oh, I don't want her to know I ate Grandmumsy
12:09She'll be heartbroken
12:11What'll I do?
12:12Just pretend to be Grandmumsy
12:14Let Red Riding Hood give you the basket
12:17Then thank her and tell her to buzz off
12:20But the way the story goes
12:22If I pretend to be the wolf pretending to be Grandmumsy
12:25Won't I eat Red Riding Hood too?
12:28Only a true villain would do a thing like that
12:37Bon appétit