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00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel, my name's Kevin, I'm a geek, you're watching
00:14Kevin the Geek, and we're back for Benidorm, series 8, episode 6, the last one before the
00:20series 8 finale.
00:22Let's check out this latest episode.
00:24Be quiet.
00:25Oh.
00:26He's had a good night, clearly.
00:36Oh.
00:37He's had a good night, clearly.
00:52God, I feel terrible.
01:00Head of the dog.
01:05He's just gonna sit up.
01:36Oh.
01:54Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:57I, I want a cup of tea.
01:59Oh.
02:04Ooh.
02:06Got the easy bit.
02:28Oh.
02:32No.
02:36Think before you speak, please, Amber.
02:39Oh, Les.
03:02Oh.
03:05Yeah.
03:11Yeah, and maybe reveal to him that the condition is actually, he has to live in a caravan,
03:18on the driveway.
03:20Uh, it's not gonna go down well, I feel, when he actually finds out, because it's clear
03:26he's gonna find out.
03:27There's no way he can't find out.
03:29I'm not sure any of us are gonna live that long.
03:33Dude.
03:36Oh, no.
03:55Oh, my God.
04:00Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:06He looks about as creepy as most clowns tend to be.
04:11Bah!
04:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:23Bah!
04:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:45I don't know.
04:47Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
04:57Popcorn and kettle black?
05:00Flu.
05:14Yeah!
05:17I was gonna hang out with Tiger and Joey today.
05:20I'm all right here.
05:21Come on, then.
05:22If you're buying, I fancy something very fetching in tight lycra.
05:26Good luck in finding something your size.
05:29I beg your pardon?
05:30Dude!
05:31It's all for kids, isn't it?
05:32Fancy dress?
05:34Oh!
05:35Right, you ready, darling?
05:36He's gonna get a slap!
05:37Still want us to hire that car, Eddie?
05:39What car?
05:40You know, the one that squirts water, explodes, and all the doors fall off.
05:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:44See you in a bit.
05:45I never asked to hire a car.
05:47What would I want with a car?
05:52And Donald said to Frankie Howard,
05:55there's no point offering her four fingers.
05:58She can't even manage two.
06:01And that's how they used to measure whiskey.
06:03Yeah, that's why Donald was so popular.
06:06Because of his fat fingers.
06:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:10As a barman, I mean.
06:12Yeah, that's not what you meant.
06:15Morning.
06:18These were on reception for you.
06:20Oh, they're lovely.
06:23Oh, Kenneth, you look smashing.
06:26Mr Motivator, isn't it?
06:28Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:30I'm not sure I can be bothered with this fancy dress.
06:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:33Fancy dress, you cheeky cow.
06:34You haven't been to bed yet.
06:37Oh, remind me never to send you flowers,
06:39if that's the face you pull when you get them.
06:41Look at the gob on her.
06:42Who sent them?
06:43They're from Gavin.
06:45Oh.
07:03Damn.
07:12Hmph.
07:14Happy years.
07:15Yeah, then you met that whinging fat old cow.
07:17Oh!
07:18Right, I am due a very large English breakfast with extra BP.
07:22This swimmer's build will not maintain itself.
07:24Hey, you've got a corkscrew perm at 11 o'clock.
07:27Which gives me 12 minutes to eat me breakfast
07:29and one minute to get back here.
07:31I do love it when a plan comes together.
07:33Hey, there's no stamp on this.
07:36Gavin's in Benidorm.
07:38No, don't.
07:39Ugh.
07:42Hello.
07:43Do you do walk-ins?
07:44Only if there's six-foot blonde Norwegian football players.
07:47He's only joking.
07:49Come and take a seat.
07:50He'll like Erlin Harland, then.
07:52I won't be a minute.
07:53I'll just put these in some water.
07:54Beautiful flowers.
07:55Yeah, aren't they?
07:57Oh, heavens.
07:58Don't worry.
08:00I've got that.
08:07Cup of tea?
08:08Oh, thank you, milk and no sugar.
08:10You've got a smashing voice.
08:12Who's Noah from?
08:17Oh, that's Madame Pavarian from Doctor Who Series 6.
08:22The eyepatch lady, if you're not familiar.
08:30I hate the fancy dressing.
08:32I hate how everybody's treating me like a clown.
08:35I'm not sure that's got much to do with the costume.
08:38Oh, my God.
08:39Amber is dressed as a nurse.
08:41Oh, she's going to have so many people playing with her tonight.
08:46I hate everyone laughing at me, calling me stupid names.
08:49And they dress you as a clown.
08:51This movie's making me crazy.
08:54Ah, he found another costume.
08:56Yes, Nurse Amber is now on call.
08:58It is too hot for the fancy dressing.
09:01Why did they move the fiesta?
09:02It was better in November.
09:03I'm sorry about what I said earlier, Les.
09:05I wasn't making fun of you.
09:06Don't worry about it.
09:07The fancy dress festival was always mine and Liam's dear.
09:11Do you have permission?
09:12No.
09:13Saying you would look hilarious dressed as a woman.
09:15Let's just leave it, shall we?
09:17Excuse me.
09:18What can I get you?
09:20Vodka pineapple, please.
09:22If you miss Liam, why don't you go and see him?
09:25It's not that easy.
09:26We both work six days a week.
09:28Then there's this small mutter of 40 euros each time for the coach.
09:33Hey, my lady, it's expensive.
09:34Here's one of the reasons I come back.
09:36All right, great.
09:39What did I come here for?
09:42Oh, yeah, lemonade.
09:45Damn, Les is so depressed.
09:47I do not like to see Les sad.
09:49No.
09:50Don't be sad.
09:51Clowns are meant to be happy.
09:53And the nurses are meant to make people feel better.
09:56So between us, we should be able to think of something
09:58to put a smile back on his face.
10:01LAUGHTER
10:08That's a clown for you.
10:18You shouldn't be using your phone all day, kid.
10:21It costs you the fortune out here.
10:23I'm just playing chess.
10:25Who are you playing?
10:26Nobody.
10:27It's just a free app on my phone, free game.
10:29Oh, right.
10:32I used to be good at chess.
10:34Here you go, finish the game.
10:36Just touch the pieces to move them, you're white.
10:41All right, Rob, you coming out to the fiesta?
10:43Oh, you're taking this fancy dress day a bit far, aren't you?
10:46Oh, nah, mate, this ain't no costume.
10:49Yeah, I know, it was kind of a joke.
10:51These are my normal clothes.
10:53Yeah, no, as I was saying...
10:55Oh, my days!
10:58Hey, tag, tag!
10:59I came over here and Rob thought I was already in my costume
11:02because my T-shirt's bright and that.
11:04I was like, this ain't my costume, bruv.
11:06These are my normal clothes.
11:09We get it.
11:10I thought it was your costume.
11:12It was hilarious, man.
11:13We were cracking up, weren't we?
11:18I don't know what we're going to do for costumes.
11:20We're scheming.
11:21I've got some money.
11:22I thought if we stick a ten-euro note to each of our foreheads,
11:26we could go as the free tenors.
11:28Nice!
11:30I like that.
11:32Or the free cats.
11:34No, Joey.
11:35We were going for things that they're specifically free of.
11:38My nan has three cats.
11:40We could go as them.
11:41Bloody old kid.
11:43Where did you find this one?
11:44I think there's a village somewhere short of an idiot.
11:48Right, come on. Let's roll.
11:51Oh, man.
11:54Joey, unfortunately, is just...
11:59He's grating on me at the moment.
12:01He was okay at the start.
12:06There's a fine line, I think,
12:08between having a character who's a bit of a lovable idiot
12:12and making them an idiot.
12:15And they haven't got the lovable part.
12:17Maybe that'll change, but...
12:19With only an episode and a half left of the series,
12:23I don't know if he's going to come back or not.
12:26If a lot of people react in the same way that I've felt with him so far in this series,
12:32he may not come back.
12:34Okay, we're off, Grandad.
12:35I've just started another game.
12:37Oh, don't worry. I don't need me phone.
12:39Are you sure, son?
12:40Yeah.
12:41No ringing your mates in the UK, though?
12:43What mates?
12:44See you later.
12:45See you later, son.
12:48Oh...
12:49Actually, we can't go as my nan's cats.
12:52I just realised one of them's a girl.
12:58There you go.
12:59Think that's taken ten years off you.
13:01Not that I knew how old you were in the first place.
13:03Dude!
13:04But if I had to guess...
13:06mid-thirties?
13:08I can see why you're so bulky.
13:11And don't forget, if you're in Castle Donington,
13:13you're literally 20 minutes away from our derby salon.
13:15Well done, Troy.
13:17Well, I'm here for two weeks,
13:19so I might have to see you again for a touch-up.
13:22Hey, cheeky.
13:23I'll have to keep an eye on you.
13:24The lovely Jacqueline will see you at the till.
13:27Hola!
13:28This way, please.
13:31I want to be with Troy.
13:34But if you take my advice,
13:36you'll drop the black and white minstrels idea.
13:38Very 1960s.
13:40Oh, my God!
13:41Why don't you?
13:42Do all your karaoke numbers in falsetto
13:43and tell everyone you've come as Leo Sayer.
13:45All right, thanks.
13:46Thanks, Kenneth.
13:47I'd just like to go and see Jacqueline at the till.
13:53Ugh!
13:54Right, come on, then.
13:55Spill the beans about Gavin.
13:57I'm not gossiping.
13:58Good, cos I don't want gossip.
13:59I want hard facts.
14:00Hmph!
14:04It started a few weeks ago.
14:05He'd send me postcards like that, unsigned.
14:08He'd leave little post-it notes on the front door
14:10with a love heart drawn on them.
14:12And you're sure it was Gavin?
14:13I'd pick up the phone,
14:15and all I'd hear is this kind of wheezy, laboured breathing.
14:19Yeah, that's him.
14:20I'm just nipping out for a breather.
14:24All right, love.
14:25All right.
14:30The creepiest thing he did
14:31was leave those little love heart sweets everywhere for me.
14:34He'd post them through the door at home and at the salon.
14:37If I went to the loo in a bar or cafe,
14:39when I came back, there'd be a packet of them
14:41somewhere I'd been sitting.
14:42Bloody hell.
14:43Bloody hell.
14:44You know, Gavin's serious if he's giving food away.
14:46Ha!
14:47I think you're all mean to have it out with him.
14:49No, I didn't want any contact.
14:50But now he's here in Spain.
14:57Balloonogram for Troy.
14:59Oh, for God's sake.
15:02Look, I appreciate we haven't really seen
15:09any gestures at all
15:13from either Gavin or Troy over the years.
15:17Something doesn't feel right.
15:20Sending love balloons,
15:23leaving love heart sweets.
15:26Somehow it doesn't feel like that's Gavin's style.
15:33Mmm.
15:34Just arrived at the reception.
15:38I mean, flowers, maybe.
15:40Dear Troy, please meet me at the Grand Café
15:43in the Old Town at 2pm.
15:47What are you going to do?
15:55I don't know.
16:01Not being funny, guys,
16:02but is it really worth spending 30 euros each
16:04to look like a bunch of tools?
16:09No, cos we're dressed as actual tools.
16:13I thought...
16:14Oh, yeah!
16:15No, you're right, though.
16:16I mean, I ain't even got 30 euros.
16:18We could just go into town and get hammered instead.
16:22Please tell me you meant that one.
16:24Cos you're dressed like a hammer!
16:27Booyah, I'm on fire, bitches!
16:31Hang on, I'll do one for you.
16:34I saw you!
16:37I saw you!
16:39Mr Saw!
16:43Nah, that one was rubbish.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Damn, I thought I nailed it.
16:48Jesus Christ!
16:50How was that one funny?
16:54Oh, my God, he's literally like me.
16:56Joey's literally like me.
16:58When you try to be funny, you are not.
17:00But sometimes when you just come out with some random stuff
17:03and you don't really think,
17:04that's when it can be funny.
17:06Honestly, I try and tell jokes,
17:09I'm never funny.
17:11Yeah.
17:15I don't know how I feel about Joey,
17:16he's really annoying me right now.
17:18Come on, let's grab a beer.
17:29Oh, bollocks.
17:31Everything OK, Sam?
17:33It is now, darling.
17:35Do you know, you get more gorgeous every time I see you.
17:38Charmed, I'm sure.
17:39Well, it is nothing I can help you with.
17:41I see you've come dressed as a glamorous hotel manageress.
17:45Well, if I like to look the part.
17:47Maybe I could be the fella who cleans the pool.
17:51Oh, my God.
17:52He's cancelled three times this week.
17:54If that pool gets any dirtier,
17:56we're going to have to give swimmers a tetanus shot and a flashlight.
17:59Of course, in the films I've seen,
18:01the pool doesn't usually end up much cleaner.
18:03Yes, well, they do say that life imitates art.
18:06I'm not sure you call these films art, love,
18:09but they look good.
18:10I'll give you that.
18:12Are you not dressing up for the British Fiesta?
18:15Well, I'm not going to bother. It's for kids merely, ain't it?
18:18Although I've heard dressing up can be fun for adults as well.
18:23Indeed.
18:24What woman doesn't love a man in uniform?
18:29Is Jacqueline jealous?
18:33Look, excuse me.
18:34I mean, talk about, you know, it doesn't feel like Gavin's style.
18:38Being jealous doesn't feel like Jacqueline's style either.
18:43Look, excuse me.
18:45I can't believe Joey went to church.
18:47He didn't know he was religious then.
18:49You're best mates.
18:50We're mates.
18:51We play football together once a week.
18:53I was told about coming on holiday and he said he'd be up for it.
18:56So, you don't really know him that well.
18:58I know he's shit at football.
18:59Shit.
19:01Nah, he's a good bloke.
19:03He's certainly kept me laughing this whole time.
19:05Oi, oi, oi, what you looking at?
19:07Where'd you get him?
19:08The church.
19:09I thought he was going in for a quick pray.
19:11Nah, man, my mum's religious.
19:13I know a lot about churches.
19:14Security is lax, bro.
19:18Did you steal them?
19:19Nah, man, just borrowed them, innit?
19:21Nice one, brother.
19:23Thank you, sister.
19:26Hey, lads.
19:27Wearing women's clothes.
19:29This isn't a habit I want to get into.
19:31Oh!
19:32Oh!
19:36They made a similar joke in...
19:38There was an episode of Death in Paradise that I watched.
19:41Which I didn't get at that time when I watched it.
19:43Because I'd never heard the term of a habit.
19:46Now I do.
19:47Oh!
19:48I'm so happy.
19:49Thank you for whoever it was who clarified that to me in the comments back then.
19:53Because that would not have made any sense to me just then.
19:55Fancy dress, innit?
19:57No, Joe, a habit.
19:59Did you get it?
20:02A habit?
20:03No, mate.
20:04Like Joey said, it's just the one or two of us.
20:07That was literally my face and my reaction.
20:11Oh!
20:17There you go, darling.
20:19Tiger Man.
20:20Now, did your mum give you a yule log for the job?
20:23Yeah.
20:24Hmm?
20:25Well, Tan Amber, this is lovely.
20:27Ah!
20:28Oh, terrifying.
20:29Ha, ha, ha.
20:32Yeah.
20:33Mind you, not as terrifying as some.
20:35Yeah.
20:36It's no good.
20:37I have the children.
20:38If they want to have their face made with the paint,
20:40run away.
20:41I'm not surprised.
20:42You look horrendous.
20:44I am a clown.
20:45Children love clowns.
20:47Nobody likes clowns.
20:48They're absolutely terrifying.
20:50Go and get changed.
20:51This was the last costume.
20:52Do you think I would choose to be a clown?
20:54I'm sure a stag party left a load of tarts and vicar's costumes last week.
20:59What is a tart?
21:00Like you don't know.
21:01Off you go.
21:05Oh, come on.
21:06You've been in there ages.
21:07Hey, you need stars in your eyes, you know.
21:09I can't just walk through a sliding door and come back two seconds later
21:11looking like Tina Turner.
21:13Do you need any help, Georgie Love?
21:15No, I'm all right.
21:16Nearly ready.
21:17Ah-ha, me hearties.
21:19Captain Blackbeard at your service.
21:21Captain Birdseye, more like.
21:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:25Or I'll take me cutlass and run you through.
21:27Oh, shit.
21:28I don't think you'll have much chance of running anyway,
21:30not with that leg.
21:33Wow, you look amazing.
21:36I'm a mermaid.
21:37Oh, brilliant.
21:38The only problem is I can't walk.
21:41But you can carry me, Dad, can't you?
21:43Of course your dad can carry you.
21:45Can they not cut a hole for your feet?
21:47They can't cut my tail.
21:48I won't be able to swim, silly.
21:50Yeah, silly.
21:51Well, it's just that, you know, I've got this wooden leg
21:53and, well, it's a bit tricky.
21:55Pick up your dorsal.
21:56Honestly, with this leg, I don't think...
21:57Pick her up.
21:58Yep, yep, no problem.
22:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:09PHONE RINGS
22:11Is it ringing?
22:12Yeah.
22:13And it's one of them international ringing tones,
22:15so he's definitely here.
22:17Who'd have thought Gavin would turn out to be a rabbit boiler?
22:22A what?
22:23You know, that film with Glen Campbell.
22:25I have no idea what you're talking about.
22:27Me neither.
22:29Gavin?
22:30It's Kenneth.
22:32What do you mean, Kenneth who?
22:34What do you mean, what do I want?
22:36Oh, don't you pull the innocent with me, Gavin Ramsbottom.
22:39We all know it's you that's been sending all these flowers and balloons.
22:42Troy's gone to meet you.
22:44What do you mean, how does he know where you are?
22:46You're in Benidorm.
22:47You're in Venice.
22:49Not Glen Campbell.
22:50Glen Claus.
22:51Oh, shut up.
22:53No, not you.
22:54What are you doing in Venice?
22:57So if it's not you sending all this stuff, who is it?
23:01Oh!
23:02Hi, Gavin, it's Troy again.
23:03You're half an hour late.
23:04So, can you come in?
23:05Or shall we add this to the increasingly long list
23:08of unacceptable behaviour you've been displaying lately?
23:12Please call me when you get this.
23:13Thank you, bye.
23:17Hello.
23:19Hello, Gavin.
23:21Twice in one day, the boat is mine.
23:25Have you been shopping?
23:26Well, I tried my best, but you know what it's like out here.
23:28It's as if they don't want your money.
23:30It doesn't look like you've done too badly.
23:31Drink it, darling, drink it.
23:32It's a little supper one has to eat.
23:35Listen, while you're here, could I ask your favour?
23:39I need a big, strong man.
23:41Oh, no worries.
23:42I'll be fine with three if you give me five minutes.
23:44Oh, handsome man.
23:46Funny.
23:47I bet you've liberated one or two ladies
23:49from their dignity with that routine.
23:54I'm sorry to be a pain, but...
23:56I'm sorry to be a pain, but...
23:59my front door was terribly rusty.
24:01Sounds painful.
24:02Sorry?
24:03No.
24:04I usually prefer a hotel,
24:06but I thought an apartment would be so much fun
24:09when I booked this holiday.
24:10How wrong I was.
24:11I've asked them to come and look at it,
24:13but it's all manana, manana.
24:15Would you be a darling and help me to get in?
24:19The thing is, I'm supposed to be meeting someone.
24:22I hate to ask,
24:24I hate to ask,
24:26I fear my group is beginning to smell.
24:29I'm sorry?
24:30Fish.
24:31Oh.
24:32Well done, I like to hear that.
24:34It would take a big, strong boy like you
24:36literally two minutes.
24:38Well, my friend is late already
24:40and I've asked him to ring me, so...
24:42You and Miss Black?
24:43Literally just here.
24:46Okay.
24:47I'm suspicious.
24:48How can I repay you?
24:50Could I tempt you with my little fish?
24:52I very much doubt that.
24:54Fourth floor, there's no lift, I'm afraid.
24:56I wonder if your group is a bit whiffy.
24:58My hero.
25:00Is it her?
25:01Has she been sending the stuff?
25:04I mean, obviously, the way she's talking
25:06makes it sound like she thinks she's straight.
25:08Oh, Troy.
25:09You're an angel sent from heaven.
25:12Can I tempt you with a Vina Rosado?
25:16Or as I call it, day wine.
25:20Thanks, Daisy, but I'd better be off.
25:22My toilet.
25:23I beg your pardon?
25:24My toilet.
25:26Could you take a look at it?
25:27I don't think I'm getting a full flush.
25:29No, sorry, I really do have to go.
25:31But I'm terrified of losing my deposit.
25:35Well, I'll...
25:37I'll have a very quick look.
25:39Troy, you're a lifesaver.
25:41It's just through there.
25:46Oh!
25:49Darling Troy.
25:52I'd heard you'd emigrated to Spain.
25:55But I would go to the ends of the earth for you.
25:59Even Benidorm.
26:01Now we can be together.
26:05Whoa!
26:10This is a dramatic turn.
26:15These outfits are hot.
26:17I know, man.
26:18Sometimes coming up is more sexy.
26:20Keeps the ladies guessing, innit?
26:22Hola!
26:29Excuse me.
26:31What do you think you are doing?
26:33What do you think we're doing?
26:34Are you sick or something?
26:36Dude.
26:37What? He ain't a real policeman.
26:39It's fancy dress day, you muppet.
26:41Look, that is the worst fake moustache I've ever seen.
26:45Look at the state of him.
26:48Oh, shit.
26:49Oh, shit.
26:50Don't you know it is illegal to drink while dressed in the religious clothes?
26:54Look, officer, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
26:57We were told we could borrow these clothes because my father's a friend of the priest.
27:01Okay, what is the name of the priest?
27:05Keith.
27:06His name is Keith.
27:08Keith.
27:09Adam Manuel.
27:11Graham.
27:13Whoa, it's quite pristine.
27:15Okay, listen to me carefully.
27:17It is the British theater.
27:19In the spirit of international relations, I will not be arrested.
27:23Thank you. Thank you so much, your honor.
27:26Shut up.
27:27But to make amends, you will have to clean the entire beachfront.
27:35You've got to be joking.
27:37Do I look like I am joking?
27:40Look, in my bags, in this shop,
27:43I will be back in three hours to check every piece of it that has been cleared out.
27:50Come on.
27:51Bloody hell.
27:53Well, we've seen some crazy laws in Benidorm over the time, haven't we?
27:58Because wasn't it in the...
28:01I want to say it was the Christmas episode?
28:03Wasn't it Noreen?
28:05That guy that she was with.
28:07Didn't they accidentally fall over and go,
28:09Oh, yeah, you were...
28:12What was it, trespassing on the beach during night?
28:15That was apparently illegal.
28:17They have some weird laws out there.
28:19Funny, that really does look like a dodgy moustache.
28:22Joey.
28:29Oh, hey, hey, hey.
28:31It's the pirates of the Caribbean.
28:35What happened to you?
28:37I dropped the not-so-little mermaid off at Dickie Donut's kids' club.
28:41What mermaid?
28:42Oh, forget it.
28:48That's better.
28:50Hey, they're great costumes, them.
28:52Can you get me one?
28:57What's this cheap rubbish?
28:59It was all the money we had left.
29:01I think they'd blocked my car because I forgot to sell the bank I was coming to Spain.
29:05Pass us that phone, I'll ring them now.
29:07I promised that Robert I wouldn't make any calls on it.
29:09Shut up, give it to here. I pay the bloody bill.
29:11And the card game on it has stopped working.
29:14Can you restart it or something?
29:16I were enjoying playing on that.
29:18I used to run a very popular card game,
29:21it's snug at the coaching horses.
29:23Liquor in the front, poker round the back.
29:25I beg your pardon?
29:27Drinks in the front, card game round the back.
29:30What's all this about? Daily limit reached?
29:33I know, I don't know why it says that.
29:35Our Robert says all the games are free.
29:37Your daily limit of £500 has been reached on your credit card ending in 4546.
29:42Oh, dude.
29:43That's why my car was declined in the joke shop.
29:45He spent all my money on bloody online poker.
29:51Oh, yeah, don't tell Sharon.
30:00No, I think it's all just a bit of a misunderstanding.
30:02Yeah, cheers. Have a Cornetto for me.
30:09Well, if Gavin's in Venice,
30:11who's Troy gone to meet in the old town?
30:13Give him a ring and find out.
30:16He was sitting there earlier.
30:18Where?
30:19That seat.
30:20That was, er, what's her name? Daisy.
30:26I think something fell out of her bag.
30:32Oh.
30:37O to the N to the F to the G.
30:43Oh.
30:46You're going to laugh,
30:47but every Monday when you came into the cash and carry,
30:50I used to cover all the five-litre bottles of Birmingham Solution in kisses,
30:54knowing you'd take one of them.
30:56Hilarious.
30:58I used to sit at the bus stop opposite your salon after work
31:02and look at you,
31:04desperately trying to pluck up the courage to go in.
31:07And then one day I did.
31:09I pretended I needed some change for a parking metre.
31:12I went in and that strange little fat man served me.
31:18My husband at the time, Gavin.
31:20Oh, Troy.
31:22You are such a funny little goose.
31:25Marry me.
31:27Don't think you're listening to me.
31:29Gavin was my husband. I am gay.
31:32Guess what they used to call me at work?
31:34Psychopathic bitch from hell?
31:36Who, is it Daisy?
31:38Daisy's put in mildly.
31:41She's loopy.
31:42Guess I'm so impetuous.
31:49That's Kenneth again.
31:51If I don't answer it, they'll think there's something wrong.
31:54Answer the phone. Tell them you're OK.
31:56If you tell them where you are,
31:58as much as I love you, darling,
32:01I will kill you.
32:02Bloody hell.
32:07Kenneth?
32:08It's Daisy. She's the stalker.
32:10Yeah, I'm fine. Absolutely fine.
32:12Oh, my God. You're with her now, aren't you?
32:15Kenneth, I can't hear you.
32:16I'm quite high up and very close to the church bells.
32:20Here's your address and we'll be there in ten minutes.
32:23Troy?
32:26Hello?
32:27Oh, damn.
32:30I don't like being disturbed.
32:33I don't think you've got much time.
32:35Don't go anywhere.
32:37You're going to love this.
32:40Two minutes.
32:50She's so good at playing bad characters.
32:55When she was Madoka Varian,
32:57that was a much more straight-laced drama kind of thing.
33:01This is a bit more pantomime villain,
33:03but still, she's great as a villain.
33:05Oh, my gosh. She's creepy.
33:16God damn it.
33:18Of course she locked it.
33:26Oh, Joey, man. You're getting ash on my clothes.
33:29Oh, sorry, Ty.
33:32They say smoking is a dirty habit.
33:35Hey!
33:40Why was that funny?
33:42No idea, mate.
33:44Hey, look. There's that guy.
33:46Oh, yeah?
33:47Yeah.
33:48Yeah.
33:49Yeah.
33:50Yeah.
33:51Yeah.
33:52Yeah.
33:54Hey, look. There's that copper.
33:56Shall we go and show him how much we've collected?
33:58Yeah, yeah.
34:01Now, I'm in Benidorm.
34:03I'm Webo Stag Do.
34:05Yeah, yeah.
34:06It's this mad day.
34:07Everyone in the whole place dresses up.
34:09I'm a policeman.
34:10Yeah, mate.
34:11I've been throughing wines and people up and that.
34:13Dude!
34:14Yeah, yeah.
34:15You should have come.
34:16Honestly.
34:18Dude!
34:20We've been doing this for ages.
34:22Is he speaking in an English accent?
34:24Because he's English.
34:25So, why was he speaking in a Spanish accent before?
34:28He tricked us, Joe.
34:30We've been picking up this rubbish for nothing.
34:32I mean, to be fair, they've done a nice thing.
34:35He was a dick, but they've done a nice thing.
34:37He's tricked us.
34:39I'm going to have a word.
34:40No, wait.
34:41Joey, man, we can't let him get away with that.
34:43I know, but wait a sec.
34:45Let's do this properly.
34:47It's time.
34:48It's time.
34:50Get some tension.
34:51Hey, Donnie.
34:53Hey, Donnie.
34:55Hey, Donnie.
34:57I can't knock down.
34:58Oh!
35:04Oh!
35:08Joey, no!
35:12Oh, God.
35:14They're going to miss this.
35:16If they're not real policemen,
35:18how come they're allowed to arrest us?
35:20Shut up, Joey. Seriously.
35:22Yeah, shut up, Joey.
35:27Oh, God.
35:32They can't catch a break today, can they?
35:39Turn it.
35:46Oh, my word.
35:47Oh, my goodness.
35:49Isn't it divine?
35:52What's wrong, darling?
35:54Don't you like it?
35:56No!
35:58You've been on the balcony?
35:59Just for a bit of fresh air.
36:01I am warning you, Troy.
36:03If you do anything silly that means we can't get married today,
36:07you know what I'll do.
36:09How are we supposed to get married?
36:11Why?
36:12Why do you think I got an apartment next to the church?
36:15Silly sausage!
36:17But we're not locals.
36:18The priest might not agree to marry us.
36:20Oh, I think he will.
36:24Listen, Daisy, I can't get married in a church.
36:27Why not?
36:29Well, I'm...
36:30a Muslim.
36:32Really?
36:33Yeah.
36:34I always knew you were a bit ethnic,
36:37but I thought that was just your style.
36:39No, no.
36:40Fully paid up member, me.
36:42But listen, I've got an idea.
36:44Why don't we go back to the Salana?
36:46Oh, why would we do that?
36:48Well, they have...
36:52a wedding licence.
36:54Do they?
36:55Yes.
36:56We could get married today.
36:58That would make me the happiest woman alive.
37:07Do you really mean it?
37:08Do you really mean it?
37:10I do.
37:12Oh.
37:15This is so stupid!
37:20Oh, wait!
37:23Now we could hear the church bells,
37:25so we must be near.
37:27Oh, and he said he was up high.
37:29So?
37:30Oh, this is like that film, isn't it?
37:33With Leslie Nielsen.
37:35What, Airplane?
37:36No, the one where his daughter gets kidnapped
37:40and he brings them home.
37:42I don't know who you are,
37:45and I don't know what I want.
37:48That's...
37:50I don't know who you are,
37:53and I don't know where I am.
37:56Isn't that Liam Neeson's taken?
37:59I know of that clip.
38:01I've never seen that movie.
38:03I don't know who you are,
38:05and I don't know who I am.
38:07Oh, that's different.
38:09Shut up!
38:15White flag?
38:19Oh, it could just be a towel or whatever it is.
38:33Oh, my God.
38:59Hola.
39:03Hola.
39:08Nothing like being a bit awkward, eh?
39:21Yeah, we know. We know.
39:29Yeah.
39:33Or maybe you can get the dress to match your lipstick, love.
39:46Oh, my God.
39:48It's a priest.
39:49Oh, perfect timing.
39:56Look at his eyes.
40:03What?
40:16Oh.
40:27Oh, my God.
40:33Oh, my God.
40:43He's so confused.
40:45Like, what the hell's going on?
40:56I'm going as soon as I play this.
40:58You have to stay.
40:59She's a crazy, dangerous woman.
41:01Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
41:16She is.
41:31She's changed.
41:32She's come all the way from Castle Donington.
41:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
41:40Oh, not again.
41:44Hang on a minute, I've got an idea.
41:52Yeah, please, save him.
41:54Save Gavin and Troy.
41:56We are here today to make a marriage of Troy and...
42:00Troy and Daisy.
42:02Marriage is a special thing.
42:04It is not to be taken, how do you say, with no responsibles.
42:09You have to be committed.
42:11I think she should be.
42:12Oh!
42:13Take your part.
42:14Oh, nothing.
42:16Carry on.
42:17She's going to shoot you.
42:21Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
42:23Right.
42:24Look at her.
42:26Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
42:29Ha.
42:36Don't mind me.
42:38I'm on work experience.
42:40You were in the salon earlier.
42:42Oh, bless you, my child.
42:44That is my brother Kenneth, the hairdresser.
42:47I am Kevin.
42:48Ha!
42:49Yes!
42:50Yes!
42:51Kevin!
42:52Woo!
42:53Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
42:58Ha!
43:04Awful?
43:18He got it right that time.
43:20Awful.
43:21What did why?
43:22Oh, the rings.
43:24Oh, my goodness.
43:26We don't have rings.
43:27Don't worry.
43:28I think I can help.
43:29Really?
43:30Yeah, but just put your hand out for me.
43:33Let's have a look at you.
43:34It's in here.
43:35Ha-ha-ha.
43:36It's in here somewhere.
43:37Ha-ha-ha.
43:39Oh!
43:40Oh!
43:41Oh!
43:42Oh!
43:43Get her!
43:44Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
43:47Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
43:50Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
44:06What the hell?
44:12Ha-ha!
44:13She's cuckooing for Togo Pops.
44:21I must say, you're taking all this very well.
44:24To be honest, I was just relieved it wasn't Gavin.
44:27He can be quite peevish when he wants to be.
44:31Who was he in Venice with?
44:33Oh, are we jealous?
44:36No, just asking out of interest.
44:39He said he was on his own.
44:42On his own?
44:43Who goes to the most romantic city on Earth on their own?
44:46I know.
44:47Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
44:50Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
44:57Do you mind if we don't tell anyone about this?
44:59What? About dressing like nuns?
45:01No, about getting arrested and that.
45:02All right, yeah, no worries.
45:04I thought they were going to make us spend the night in there, man.
45:07I'm going to go and find my family.
45:08I'm surprised they didn't.
45:09Good night.
45:10God bless.
45:11Good night, God bless.
45:13Good night.
45:14God bless.
45:15Good night, God bless.
45:16Good night.
45:17God bless.
45:30Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
45:31Where have you been, I did all day?
45:34Fancy a table for two?
45:36Excuse me, I'm sitting with my friends.
45:41Are you all right?
45:43No, I'm not.
45:44I'm absolutely jiggered.
45:46I told him everything from beginning to end.
45:49Every little last detail.
45:51A real blow-by-blow account.
45:54No, don't remember that bit.
45:56Not that he seemed interested.
45:58In fact, I'm sure he fell asleep before the end of it.
46:02Just sat there.
46:04Stank of booze as well.
46:06Jacqueline, you know this policeman you spoke to?
46:09Oh, for God's sake.
46:11Was he in right times?
46:12No, he was just sitting at the bar in reception
46:15with a friend who was dressed as a chicken.
46:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
46:30Five hundred pounds?
46:31Where are we supposed to get five hundred pounds from?
46:33All down.
46:34Don't shout at me, Sherrod, please.
46:36I'll pay you back when I can.
46:37It was an honest mistake.
46:39I don't know what else to say.
46:40You're as much to blame for leaving him with the phone.
46:42I left him playing chess.
46:44Why have you got a gambling game on your phone anyway?
46:46Mother, I literally play like ten pence a hand.
46:48Yeah, well, your bloody granddad didn't, did he?
46:51Five hundred pounds.
46:53We're not still going on about that, are we?
46:55He said he'd pay back.
46:56When I can.
46:57When he can.
46:58I'm not sitting here if you're going to have a go at me all night.
47:01Good. Go and sit with your fancy woman.
47:03Damn.
47:04She's not me fancy woman.
47:05And you've got me the right bloody costume.
47:07Looks like I'll be living like a monk from now on,
47:09thanks to your condition and new old rimming after ten o'clock
47:12when I come and live with you.
47:14I never said that.
47:15You can do what you like in your own caravan.
47:17Oh!
47:18In my own what?
47:19Anybody want to do karaoke?
47:21Caravan?
47:22We're bringing it down from Bridge,
47:23and you're going on the front drive.
47:25Jodie, karaoke?
47:26I'm tired.
47:27Can you carry me to bed?
47:29Me?
47:30Living on the street like a bloody tinker?
47:33I didn't say on the street.
47:34I said the front drive.
47:36Not a chance.
47:37Oh, well, then you'll have to make your own arrangements.
47:39Aye, I will.
47:40Because I know what I'm not wanted.
47:42You can stick your caravan up your arse, Sharon.
47:45Oh.
47:46You've finally got what you wanted.
47:48I won't be coming to live with you.
47:51I'd rather sleep in gutter.
47:53And don't come looking for me tomorrow,
47:55because I'll be getting first flight home.
47:58Thank you, and good night.
48:00Ish.
48:02Oh.
48:04Well, that's sorted then.
48:07Oh.
48:12What a day.
48:14Right, Amber, one more brandy each, purely medicinal,
48:17then everybody back to work.
48:20Mateo, did you give your statement to the police?
48:23Yes, we have all spoken to the police.
48:25The crazy woman is in the hospital,
48:27and everything is back to normal.
48:29No.
48:31Look at this place.
48:32When have we ever been normal?
48:34That is normal.
48:39On we go.
48:44Hey, Liz, you're not dressed as lively tonight.
48:46No, I think it's been enough dressing up for one day,
48:49Amber, don't you?
48:50Listen, when I did the first painting for the kids today,
48:54we were given some tips,
48:56and we were going to give you the teddy bear.
48:58No, no, I don't want your money.
49:00But we knew you wouldn't take it,
49:02so we bought you an open-return coach ticket to Madrid.
49:07Damn.
49:10An open-return costs more than 20 euros.
49:12I know.
49:13Mateo put the rest in with the money he came in to yesterday.
49:18I do not want to see.
49:20Bless you, my child.
49:24Bless you, Liz.
49:27Oh.
49:29I mean, first of all, it's so weird to see Liz in a,
49:34just literally in a shirt.
49:36That was so weird.
49:38Obviously not having the wig.
49:40Yeah.
49:41Oh, Liz.
49:43Oh.
49:45You know what?
49:47I think since we first learned that Liam was his son,
49:54because obviously Liz was in the show prior to Liam being in the show.
50:04I think it was fine as a character,
50:09but once we knew that Liam is his son,
50:12they have built such an amazing partnership on the screen.
50:19They really have, I think, in a way, felt
50:22almost like Liz is missing a leg in this series.
50:28I hope that makes sense to you.
50:32But yeah.
50:36It makes sense that he is completely missing Liam.
50:42Because, I mean, at this point,
50:44we're presuming Liam has been in Madrid for about a year or so.
50:49And like he says, they work six days a week.
50:53I mean, I don't quite know how far it is from Madrid to Benidorm,
50:57but clearly it's not a quick hop on the bus,
51:01literally 20 minutes later you're there.
51:03It's probably going to be a couple of hours.
51:05So if you only get one day off a week,
51:07even if you manage to tie up,
51:09that same day off will be the same for both of them.
51:13It's going to...
51:15Let's hazard a guess that it's maybe two, three hours on a coach.
51:21Probably a bit longer, because if you're getting a train,
51:24that's probably a little bit more realistic.
51:27But if you're getting on a coach,
51:29you're probably talking a bit longer.
51:32So let's say maybe three to four hours each way.
51:37That's like six to eight hours.
51:40Pretty much a whole day's worth.
51:42So they're not going to get that much time
51:44to be able to spend with each other.
51:47So, yeah.
51:51I hope Liam comes back.
51:57I mean, I don't want to say Les leaves,
52:00because I don't want to lose Les,
52:01because I like Les as a character.
52:04At the moment, I just feel that
52:07one of them needs to move to be with the other again
52:11to make Les happy, you know.
52:14And if...
52:16I feel like they're setting up that Les may leave the Solana
52:20in the next episode,
52:22and he may decide to go out and be in Madrid with Liam.
52:28I think that's where they're going with this.
52:30I think that's where they're going with this.
52:32I hope not, because I love Les as a character.
52:34I do, I absolutely love Les.
52:36But, you know, it makes sense for him as a character, you know.
52:44Now, obviously yesterday I did my respond to your comments video.
52:49I looked at comments from last month.
52:51And one of the comments was one from,
52:54I think it was a couple of episodes ago,
52:55but it was basically someone saying they don't like Sharon.
52:58Particularly how mean she is to Eddie.
53:03That episode that we've just seen
53:06has really highlighted it.
53:09Like, we always saw Mick and Madge always crossing the line,
53:14but Mick really cared for Madge.
53:17Yes, they would bicker and everything.
53:20I mean, it was the episode...
53:24It's when Sam thought she was sleeping with Matteo.
53:28Because they were both on the balcony.
53:31It might have been after the Mr. Pink thing.
53:35It might have been that one.
53:36Madge was on the balcony, she was talking to Mel.
53:40And she kind of looks over at Mick's there.
53:42And they've obviously always clashed and everything.
53:44But, you know, she just kind of looked over at Mick
53:47on the next balcony along.
53:49And Mick's just like, goodnight Madge.
53:52And she's like, goodnight Sam.
53:55And that was just such a beautiful moment.
53:58And that was obviously built up over many, many years
54:01of them squabbling and bickering all the time.
54:03And I know we've only had, you know,
54:06basically, what, six episodes with Sharon and Eddie.
54:10But I'm starting to see, I think,
54:14what you kind of mean with that.
54:16But like I said, particularly in that one,
54:19she revealed the whole thing about the condition,
54:23about him living with her.
54:24Which to be fair, I will say in her defense,
54:27she didn't know that he didn't know.
54:30But I mean, A, what a shitty condition for it to be.
54:34Because it's like, obviously Rob, he's already talking,
54:36like he's going off to uni.
54:37So it's not like they haven't got the room.
54:40They will have the room, you know.
54:43So it feels like she's being deliberately mean
54:47for the sake of it.
54:49Just because she doesn't like him.
54:51And she's made a lot of digs at him.
54:53I mean, he's not all entirely one-sided.
54:57Eddie does make little digs as well.
54:59Like that thing about the fancy dress.
55:02Are you going to be able to find one in your size?
55:05You know, but yeah.
55:09And then obviously he storms off.
55:11He's like, you finally got your wish.
55:13You know, I'm not going to come and live with you.
55:15And she's like, well, that's that sort of thing.
55:18Come on.
55:19That's a bit mean.
55:21That's a bit kind of overstepping the mark a bit.
55:24Let me know your thoughts with that.
55:25Do you think that kind of she's overstepping the mark?
55:28Or do you think she has a point in some way?
55:32I personally think she's overstepping the mark.
55:36Like it's fine to squabble.
55:38Because there's never any kind of family dynamic where people don't squabble.
55:42It always happens.
55:44But yeah, I just think she's overstepping her mark a little bit.
55:48And crazy Daisy.
55:50Bloody hell.
55:52That was...
55:54I mean...
55:56I was expecting that.
55:59I mean...
56:01I mean...
56:03I guess I was right with it not being Gavin's style.
56:06But I still may be wondering.
56:08Are they going to bring Gavin into it?
56:10Or maybe are they going to bring him in next episode as a result of them having the phone call conversation?
56:15Is this going to be like them getting back together or something?
56:18I mean, Troy sort of suggests he's like, I think this is it for good.
56:21But maybe they're teasing that they will get back together.
56:23Maybe they'll come back together properly.
56:25I don't know.
56:27But obviously we'll have to see.
56:28Because next week is the series 8 finale.
56:32I don't think we've really had anything.
56:35Sort of tease what the finale may lead to.
56:40Well, I mean, I guess last week...
56:43You had the whole thing about Joey and...
56:47And Tiger getting the...
56:49What was it? The Pride of Benidorm Award?
56:52Whatever it was.
56:55Maybe the thing with Lez and Liam.
56:57Maybe that will come to a head.
57:01Yeah, maybe Gavin and Troy.
57:03I guess we will have to see what happens with Eddie, Sharon and everything.
57:07Because that I feel we haven't quite seen the end of.
57:11We'll have to see what happens with them.
57:13But yeah, join me next week for the final episode of series 8.
57:17Of course, if you want to see it early, head on over to Patreon.
57:20You become a member and you get to see my content early access.
57:24That's going to do it for today.
57:25Thank you very much for watching.
57:26For now, my name's Kevin.
57:28I'm a geek.
57:29Thank you for watching Kevin the Geek.
57:31Goodbye.