Stefan Molyneux
  • 4 months ago
Sunday Morning Live 25 August 2024

In this episode, I engage in candid discussions around listener experiences, starting with a tough sibling encounter that highlights the need for confronting uncomfortable truths. We explore topics like fitness and personal anecdotes, emphasizing self-awareness in relationships. Nostalgia serves as a central theme, underscoring how past experiences shape our present. I also address personal responsibility post-breakup, arguing that true readiness for new connections requires acknowledging our own choices. The episode concludes with practical advice on emotional readiness and responsibility, blending humor with meaningful insights.

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Transcript
00:00:00Good morning everybody 25th of august 2024 hope you're doing well i am hot yes you have wandered into the corner of the internet known as the step only fans.
00:00:14So yes we are shirtless i haven't even worked out today but i just did a show outside answering questions i'm sweating.
00:00:24Like uh um i don't know albert brooks in uh that movie so i hope you're doing well i'm sure i will get my shirt on at some point but it's a reality man i'm just i'm hot i'm so hot my shorts you could cook things in them.
00:00:42There you go all right let me get your questions comments issues challenges if you know me i don't like just the tip so but if there is a tip to be had you can tip on the app and all kinds of wonderful stuff can be happening thank you so much.
00:01:00I can think clearly now the rain has gone thank you think clearly i appreciate that let's get this uh this show never fails to teach me something new about the world that's right.
00:01:13Philosophers have nipples yet we can breastfeed the planet on our sludgy wisdom.
00:01:19Thank you step you were a gift thank you for sharing your talents with the world hopefully i can jump on with everyone at 11 well thank you appreciate that that's very very kind.
00:01:27All right hidden dragon says had an awful night last night i got into a physical fight with my brother on the bright side i now have the motivation to move out and grow up i've been enjoying a comfortable life for too long and now that i have come to pay the price it really was not worth it.
00:01:45Yeah you know it's really sad to be fifty percent of sibling relationships are abusive considered abusive even by mainstream standards right so like fifty percent.
00:01:55So yeah it's terrible there's closest brothers this is a line from one of my novels yeah it's closest brothers seem to be until memories of early treachery arise so i'm sorry to hear that but.
00:02:07It is a it is absolutely worth it to get clarity look clarity is all you need and this is all i ever drive for the people just get to the truth that's all we want just get through to the truth.
00:02:23Get through to the truth and now your brother has revealed to you the truth and that is what you wanna have the truth can hurt.
00:02:34But you know what it's a direct hurt that you know this thing about it's not it's a myth but it's a good analogy like.
00:02:41If you throw a pot if you throw a frog into a pot of hot water it'll jump back out but if you put a pot into lukewarm water and slowly raise the temperature just sticks there so that's the problem i want you.
00:02:52To have the vivid experience of the sudden unleashing of mammoth ballsy truth that's what i want you because that's where clarity comes from.
00:03:02If there's just a little passive aggression and digs and maybe and jokes at your expense and all that girly estrogen drowning nonsense a quicksand of femininity.
00:03:13Well that's not good but if you get into a physical fight are you yelling each other or call each other names like reveals you know they said the mask is off the mask is off revealed what a glorious thing that is it hurts.
00:03:25But it hurts a lot less to have that kind of sudden sunburst of ice water clarity to mix my metaphors than it does to have the drip drip of and it's kind of comfortable and nobody's really pushing me on to do anything and blah blah blah right.
00:03:44Looking like the reflection of perfection mr money why thank you i do appreciate that.
00:03:50A hat and glasses that's right impressive trapezius to be honest.
00:03:57All right thank you.
00:03:59All right impressive neck muscles yes well i have to have the giant neck muscles to hold up the galaxy brain just having this head.
00:04:11Which is a giant head every time i go to a place and they have to measure my head for a hat it's not that common but it does happen they're like whoa check this out.
00:04:21Maybe i have that if i'm trying to have a famous russian writer had the largest brain weight on record after he was died he died in a horrible fashion from a.
00:04:32A spinal tumor or something like a month of like agony and all of that but after he was exhumed and dissected or just dissected he had the largest brain mass and i was wondering what's gonna happen when they carve open my brain at the end of all of this.
00:04:46And find not the illusory evil but the giant language center i mean it's just gonna i would love to see it but for reasons that are fairly obvious i probably wouldn't all right.
00:04:59Let's see here what we got i would love your opinion on juicing with those guns.
00:05:09The juice question.
00:05:11So i don't obviously what do i take i take a little bit of creatine and i take some protein that's about it and honestly i am not a big muscle guy i mean you know i've got some okay this and that the other i'm not some i can't get the post-it note off my back kind of muscle guy so i would not say that.
00:05:32All right i suppose seeing step shirtless is a small price to pay for a small window of bothering him with banal politics questions well you know if the muscles are too Maximus you can always just minimus the screen.
00:05:47Should the step is a bonus bro.
00:05:50Big question is pizza salad is bread veggies and meat just like a Caesar salad and should you wear a shirt while eating one.
00:05:59Is pizza salad i do not think so because it has too much fat now a Caesar salad is a Caesar's revenge so what happened was that Caesar was betrayed and stabbed and so he came back to life thousands of years later in a chef's brain and created a salad.
00:06:16That is murderous a Caesar salad will kill you in your fucking sleep a Caesar salad will creep up behind you and you'll say it to Brute as it stabs you with it's a fat and bacon and gooey.
00:06:29Activation of the widow maker evil so yes a Caesar salad is not a salad it is something that will slow you like Brutus.
00:06:40All right i thought those guns were banned in Canada well they can't attach these as yet.
00:06:46All right let's get to your questions comments i had the studio that was built here.
00:06:56A friend of mine's wife built it and it actually taught me quite a lot because she was like really in handy stuff and she came and built me the studio and then she couldn't do anything physical for a year because it was very tough on her hands i felt really bad about that.
00:07:09But she put in a fan like ventilation right because i keep the door closed but the ventilation my last mic was so sensitive it picked up the ventilation as you know.
00:07:21I am absolutely anal about sound quality absolutely anal about sound quality and.
00:07:31Now i'm using the fan again because i can easily like we've got AI for the sound cleanup so it takes it out but it's nice having a little bit of a breeze why i can't use the color back there anymore although that light used to go brighter and i cannot for the life of me figure out how to make it go brighter again i hit something you know when you hit something in tech and it just kind of goes dark it's like you know if you have a wireless printer.
00:07:54It is a simple fact that you simply must uninstall and reinstall it every single time you want to fucking print i don't know why that is.
00:08:03I've even gone into the wifi router and made sure that the printer gets the same IP address no matter what it will get the same IP address in the next iteration of the physical universe it is that bolted in.
00:08:15And it's not even wireless i've actually moved it to the router and connected it with an ethernet cable directly to the router.
00:08:22But no.
00:08:23What i can get it to do i've got a remote control little light switch because what i can do is when i print something as i was doing this morning when i print something what happens is.
00:08:34The little control window lights up you know that little window that says i'm not going to print for you so i've got a tiny little flashlight that points to nowhere and i'm like you know this was a fairly expensive printer is there any chance i can get you to do more than just light up your led thing.
00:08:52And it's no message it's not like no x y and z is wrong it's like.
00:08:57Print light up nothing and now when i double print on that when i double click on the print queue it opens windows explorer.
00:09:05Sure dora the explorer that's what i want i don't want to see what's queuing up jamming up the printer i don't want to see what's given constipation to the printer as is always the case i just want to feed it some indian food.
00:09:17Have it blarp go into orbit and get it over with no i'm every now and then i'm like i should just print light up.
00:09:25Can i get more than lights can i actually get a printer no but if you uninstall and reinstall there's a 50 50 chance that you might actually get to print something amazing.
00:09:38Amazing alright should you wear a shirt while eating pizza well.
00:09:45I would say if you're on a date absolutely not because what you want is for the pizza oil to slowly drip down your manly chest that's what you want my friends you do not want it.
00:10:00Staining your clothing because when a woman sees a man on a date who stains his clothing she sees a lifetime in fact several lifetimes of incipient laundry forever and ever amen.
00:10:11Do you think gentle parenting is controlled opposition to peaceful parenting to discredit it by similarly similarity slash association or is it simply the inevitable result of radical subjectivity in psychological circles.
00:10:26Yeah i mean give me give me a summary you can use a i don't care give me a summary of gentle parenting.
00:10:35So.
00:10:38I want to make sure i'm not straw manning alright let me get to thank you for the tip i give in return.
00:10:46A nipple tip so i appreciate that i got a nice apology email from the guy who i was calling out for his typos a week or two ago and that was very nice and honestly i can't tell you how much i respect.
00:11:05People who apologize.
00:11:08I really i it is something that makes someone so trustworthy to me i can't even explain the depth of my respect for people who apologize.
00:11:20See apologizing is really really great.
00:11:25Apologizing is great it says that you have standards above vanity it says that you have empathy for your facts on the behavior of another person it says that you take self-ownership you take responsibility you're willing to be corrected you're willing to change course.
00:11:38And you're willing to admit fault do you know how beautiful that is in a human being that is absolutely beautiful apologizing to people in your life is fantastic i've never regretted apologizing to anyone.
00:11:54Because if people take your apology and use it to willpower over you you can tell them to fuck off i mean not literally necessarily you can tell them to take a long walk off a short pier.
00:12:07I to take a boeing spaceship into orbit which apparently just leaves you there forever but.
00:12:15I've never regretted apologizing anyone why would i.
00:12:18Because if people accept your apology and that gives them permission to apologize then you have a correcting mechanism in the relationship it's all good and beautiful and lovely and nice.
00:12:27If they're like well i appreciate your apology and then they lord it over you and bring it up again in the future and never apologize for anything they've done it's like clarity rose talking about the truth clarity all that kind of stuff.
00:12:39All right let's get to your question hey yes i'm having trouble with an action i want to take.
00:12:47I want to sell a car of mine and use the money for investments with the goal of benefiting a family i may have in the future i feel an emotional attachment to the vehicle i don't understand.
00:12:59Is this a weird type of fetish like you have described with animals thanks.
00:13:04Yeah i don't.
00:13:07I don't quite get the car thing.
00:13:12Now i get that cars are sexy i had a my first car was a ninety eight volvo s seventy red.
00:13:18And beautiful and all of that i'm like give me the closest color you have to a nipple well we have that right here so it's called sex nibble one oh one.
00:13:28So.
00:13:29I like that car i drove it literally into the ground i remember coming up towards the end with a mental list of everything that was wrong with the car and it went on to like fifteen different items and i got pity money when i when i had it i finally drove it in and it was like.
00:13:45Edit died in the parking lot and i got i got pity money that i owe.
00:13:52You've been driving that okay we will give you some money i mean it really was charity it really was what is a five trillion dollars is going to africa.
00:14:01The equivalent of what five hundred marshal plans five trillion dollars is going to africa we could be.
00:14:08We could have interstellar travel by now but no so.
00:14:14I don't quite get the car thing i do get like when i was dating i'd make sure that the car was clean before i go and pick up a girl and so on but.
00:14:25The car was sort of a minor lesson as well because i'm cheap so i didn't get the cd option i got just a tape option which turned out to be fantastic as a little portable player and i could use there was a way i don't know how it worked have no idea how it works but there was something you can get you put it in the tape deck there's a cord that comes out with a three and a half.
00:14:42Inch three and a half millimeter attachment you can plug it in somewhere so you feel an emotional attachment to the vehicle right.
00:14:53And i had a question about nostalgia.
00:14:59And in my view.
00:15:02As he feels a wave of nostalgia creep up from his balls in my view nostalgia.
00:15:09Is about missed opportunities.
00:15:15Nostalgia is about missed opportunities so sometimes when i look at my teenage years i missed some opportunities to be happier than i was.
00:15:26I did i mean i miss some opportunities i worry too much i was to know i had a tough teenage years but you know from the age of fifteen onwards once i kick my mom out things are much much much better.
00:15:37So i missed i miss some opportunities to be happier i worry too much but it's also tough to say because if i hadn't worried that much i may not end up with the life that i have now which is about as good as as it can be.
00:15:48You know i went for a lovely hike a long lovely hike with my wife yesterday we had great conversations and you know just had a and she was like oh do you wanna do you wanna travel do what i'm like you know.
00:16:02It's tough man because.
00:16:06I said it's tough for me to think of a way in which a day like today could be improved right i woke up i took my daughter out.
00:16:18For brunch and that was lovely and then i dropped my daughter off at work and then went for a long.
00:16:24Lovely hike with my wife in the beautiful woods and i'm like.
00:16:28Did show in the evening and all of that.
00:16:33And i'm like okay well we could go to i don't know x y z place or whatever but it's hard for me to know how a day like that can be improved.
00:16:41So if you are extracting rational objective value i don't mean like you're happy all the time it's not really possible but if you're if you're extracting maximum value out of your day or reasonable value i don't know maximum value is too high a standard you end up feeling dissatisfied.
00:17:00But if you are.
00:17:03Extracting reasonable value out of your days it's kinda hard to be nostalgic.
00:17:10Because nostalgia is saying i missed something back there.
00:17:16I dropped something there drop something.
00:17:19Is my wallet she's just did i drop something like nostalgia is circling back because you missed something.
00:17:25And nostalgia is about the future nostalgia about the past is saying i missed some significant chances for happiness.
00:17:35Which i should learn how to enjoy in the present.
00:17:40So my guess is the car and you can cause tell me if i'm right or wrong.
00:17:46I don't need to say that you guys know but i think that.
00:17:50The car represents missed opportunities in some fashion or some manner.
00:18:00Did you miss some opportunities with that car.
00:18:02Was there a road trip you didn't go on was there a woman you didn't ask out and pick up at the car the car represents some kind of freedom you didn't take.
00:18:14Is the car represents some kind of freedom you didn't take some kind of opportunity you didn't maximize.
00:18:19And is that the case in the present what would we go back do we hide to look at there's a movie called avalon.
00:18:32With a rather older joanne woodward and stagecoach couple other actors aiden quinn and the movie avalon is very nostalgic.
00:18:43I just as the play tennessee williams play the glass menagerie is very nostalgic.
00:18:51And it's because there's a richness and depth in the past that you fail to recognize and are also failing to recognize here and now.
00:19:00You know oh oh.
00:19:08Manic kidding aside and i know i have no shirt on and this is going to seem ridiculous but nonetheless.
00:19:14You know we in this conversation we're right down in the meat and muscle at the base of the soul.
00:19:21We're right there in the bone the marrow the meat and muscle at the base of the soul.
00:19:25What could be better than to excavate the meaning of happiness connection courage and virtue in a conversation like we're having to have fun to enjoy it to go deep to go sideways.
00:19:51Somebody put together a supercut of me making every penis joke known to man my dick is so big it only play stadiums.
00:20:00It was funny.
00:20:06I will never regret the time i've spent doing philosophy i will never regret i don't look back and say gee i did too many life streams.
00:20:14Because we are moving the bar for philosophy forever.
00:20:19This is my constant goal to move the bar for philosophy forever and ever amen so that it's not academic it's not about two nouns exist ontologically it's about getting to the truth getting to the meaning getting to the virtue getting to the connection getting to the honesty right now in your life when you speak.
00:20:40Because if we avoid the truth we are avoiding life we're avoiding connection we're avoiding love we're avoiding virtue.
00:20:47And slaves can't tell the truth every time we avoid the truth we reaffirm our enslavement which is why I control of a free speech makes people feel like slaves just ask Pavel.
00:21:02Joe says the truth is great I went above and beyond at my previous job and all I got was the $25 gift card it was all I needed to jump to a new company with a 20% salary raise.
00:21:14Good for you good for you.
00:21:16Good for you.
00:21:29Let me just get to your you shouldn't be taking steroids unless your testicles got destroyed in some horrific accident it's only going to do damage mentally and physically I couldn't imagine in a million years taking steroids.
00:21:41Caesar salads are great though especially with anchovies.
00:21:46I don't often get the rank stink of deep evil in a call and show but I'm afraid that I have found it now thank you David.
00:21:55I mean don't get me wrong I do like a good Caesar but putting stinky saltfish in a salad is like taking a giant pee in clam chowder.
00:22:05In clam chowder.
00:22:08All right.
00:22:13Best thing is finding work where you can be appreciated well compensated and successful.
00:22:21Yeah.
00:22:24But no no.
00:22:28The best thing is finding work where you can do good.
00:22:32Appreciated well compensated and successful.
00:22:36How about doing some good in the world.
00:22:45All right my approach emotionally to dealing with computers echoes the old Garfield poster he's standing in front of a PC that reads hit any key to continue as he holds a mallet over his head.
00:22:56Where is the any key I can't find it.
00:22:59Or the back in the day there was a little program running around it was a little batch file and it said click on this to get a free coffee holder and if you clicked on it it would send a signal to the operating system to the hardware substructure to open the CD tray.
00:23:15There's your coffee holder.
00:23:17That's funny.
00:23:19I think gentle parenting might basically be the sort of free range let kids discover themselves kind of hippie thing.
00:23:26At least that's the image that is conjured in my mind.
00:23:30The people who weaponize your conscience against you are the worst.
00:23:33Yes that's right.
00:23:38I've disconnected from my neglectful parents so I won't replicate their behavior on my own children.
00:23:43Well I'm sorry but good for you.
00:23:45They still send birthday gifts and cards to me my wife and my children and I do accept them mainly for my kids but I'm conflicted.
00:23:51Is it best to just tell them to stop sending the gifts.
00:23:57I mean I can't tell you what to do obviously in my shoes though I would view the gift of giving as a periodic reminder as to why I'm not spending time with them right because they're sending you gifts rather than moving heaven and earth to fix the relationship.
00:24:12You know it's so funny.
00:24:13It's so funny.
00:24:14If you and my tragic tragic comic right.
00:24:17So you have stopped talking to your parents so they should move heaven and earth to fix the relationship.
00:24:25They should say I've gone to therapy I've listened to this I've done that I've accepted the other I've you know whatever right.
00:24:32They should be moving heaven and earth to fix the relationship.
00:24:38But they're not they're just sending gifts.
00:24:40Which is confirmation that it probably was wise.
00:24:45But if you contact them.
00:24:47See here's the problem.
00:24:48Let's say that they're cold intrusive people right.
00:24:53Let's say the cold intrusive people.
00:24:55I was reading this researcher who was saying that there's about 10 percent of the population that is pretty pretty you know dark Friday kind of stuff.
00:25:05So let's say they're cold and intrusive people.
00:25:08So if you call them up and you say mom and dad I really really need you to stop sending presents.
00:25:14Well you're giving them control over you.
00:25:16You're giving them power over you.
00:25:17You are exposing a need to someone who's manipulative.
00:25:21And in general it's usually not a good idea to show your soft underbelly to the predators.
00:25:29As opposed to those who say I would gladly apologize for being wrong if I ever would be wrong about anything but I haven't ever been wrong.
00:25:37Right right.
00:25:38I'm.
00:25:40Now I'm getting cold.
00:25:41I'm so sorry that you were offended by my perfectly rational statement.
00:25:47I'm so sorry that I said something rational and neutral and you just really got offended.
00:25:52For now I'm sorry that you're so hypersensitive.
00:25:55I'm so sorry that you just don't know how to react to normal human conversations.
00:25:59I guess I'll have to step around you like you're some crazy cocaine laced hair trick land minefield.
00:26:06I'm so sorry.
00:26:07I'm so sorry that you don't have the maturity to respond to my obviously positive intentions in the spirit in which they're intended.
00:26:13I'm so sorry that you're so paranoid that you just get jumpy about even goodwill coming your way.
00:26:21I can be very stubborn with admitting I'm wrong but the show has helped me break down arguments to first principles and setting aside emotion.
00:26:28It's a wrestling match between my reasoning and ego.
00:26:31No it's not ego.
00:26:32Andrew it's not ego.
00:26:34It's not ego.
00:26:35It's fear.
00:26:36It's fear.
00:26:39It's fear.
00:26:41The reason you don't apologize is you grew up with people who used it against you.
00:26:44That's all.
00:26:45And they never themselves apologized.
00:26:51Oh yes.
00:26:52By the by don't forget we're going to go supporters only on the second hour.
00:26:58The second hour.
00:26:59I'm going to give you all a nice linky link with which you can join in case you haven't joined.
00:27:07Shocking I know.
00:27:08Possible I suspect.
00:27:13But here you go.
00:27:14Here you go.
00:27:15Joiny join.
00:27:16You can go join and you also get some very cool stuff.
00:27:19Hundreds of premium shows.
00:27:25Soon.
00:27:30All right.
00:27:39I love cars for fastness.
00:27:43All right.
00:27:44It's nostalgia wishing you could go back.
00:27:46No there's nothing about the human brain that is irrational fundamentally.
00:27:50I mean unless you're truly deranged right.
00:27:52I mean some physical problem.
00:27:53No nostalgia is not wishing you could go back.
00:27:56So when I'm nostalgic about some of the things in my teens.
00:28:00I'm wishing that I enjoyed had enjoyed my teens more.
00:28:03And the reason I do that is so that I can give myself permission to enjoy my life more now.
00:28:08Like you know there's no later thing right.
00:28:10There's no later time where you get everything gets perfect and you get to enjoy everything no matter what.
00:28:15Right.
00:28:16That's not that's not a real thing.
00:28:18That doesn't happen.
00:28:26There is no time later where everything is going to be perfect and you get to enjoy everything.
00:28:31There will always be problems.
00:28:33There will always be challenges.
00:28:34There will always be upsets.
00:28:35There will always be negatives and learning how to enjoy life not just despite but because of the negatives.
00:28:43Because then you have problems to be solved.
00:28:51All right.
00:28:52All right.
00:28:53Hi Steph.
00:28:54I was catching up on telegram the telegram chat after this week's call and came across the discussion where someone had ended a relationship and was seeking advice.
00:29:01Slash comfort.
00:29:02Wasn't exactly sure.
00:29:03And while it was very enlightening to see firsthand how men deal with each other.
00:29:07Glad to be a woman.
00:29:08I did walk away with a question about how to gauge one's emotional readiness to date.
00:29:12Oh you mean after a breakup.
00:29:13After a breakup.
00:29:17So you are ready to date after a breakup when you no longer blame your partner for the breakup.
00:29:27That's when you're ready to date.
00:29:29You are ready to date after a breakup when you no longer blame your boyfriend girlfriend husband wife for the breakup.
00:29:39If you're still mad.
00:29:40If you're still mad.
00:29:42If you're still blaming.
00:29:45You're not ready.
00:29:48Because you haven't taken responsibility for the relationship.
00:29:53As an adult.
00:29:55You are responsible.
00:29:57100 percent.
00:29:59You are 100 percent responsible.
00:30:02For everyone who is in your life.
00:30:05No excuses.
00:30:07You are 100 percent responsible.
00:30:10For everyone who's in your life as an adult.
00:30:16Assuming you are not in prison.
00:30:18Unjustly.
00:30:20You are 100 percent responsible for everyone who is in your life.
00:30:25Blaming others is hating yourself.
00:30:29Blaming others is saying I had no choice when I had a choice.
00:30:34You know one of the most powerful things that you can do in life is to listen in a neutral fashion.
00:30:39Right. So here's what happens with most people in conversation.
00:30:44They're trying to enroll you into a morality play of insanity called I'm in the right and everyone else is wrong.
00:30:53I'm perfect.
00:30:55And everyone who disagrees with me is a bad person.
00:30:58You know it's like the people who say.
00:30:59And everyone who disagrees with me is a bad person.
00:31:02You know it's like the people who say everything I don't like is hate speech and must be banned.
00:31:08And everything I do like is a human right and must be enforced and subsidized.
00:31:17Most people you talk to anyone about a breakup and what are they doing.
00:31:21They're trying to enroll you they're trying to drag you into a magical mystery to a morality play called.
00:31:26Can you believe what this person did.
00:31:29I'm so good they're so bad.
00:31:32Well you can't date anyone who's in that state of mind.
00:31:37Because they're clearly communicating to you that if there's a problem in the relationship you're fucked.
00:31:44They are going to blame you and never admit fault.
00:31:46So you are ready to date.
00:31:54When you say about a prior relationship you say.
00:31:59I chose wrong.
00:32:06I made a mistake I chose wrong.
00:32:08Now maybe you can say some of the reasons why I didn't know this about my past and so on but I chose wrong.
00:32:13It was my fault.
00:32:15That is the kind of pain that liberates you that is the kind of weight that gives you wings.
00:32:20But beneath the weight of gravity we stumble then we fly.
00:32:26Right that is the kind of weight that gives you wings that is the kind of gravity.
00:32:31That gives you propulsion.
00:32:34You are ready to date.
00:32:37When you take responsibility and don't make excuses.
00:32:41Why did I spend a good portion of my 20s in a relationship that didn't work out.
00:32:48Because I chose wrong.
00:32:53I chose wrong.
00:32:56It was all on me.
00:32:58Well she did some things that were wrong.
00:33:00Yes but she was only in my life.
00:33:03And I only almost married her because I was choosing wrong.
00:33:11Well but people in my life didn't warn me about her.
00:33:14Yes but those were also people in my life that being an adult I chose to have in my life.
00:33:24The hats are not for sale as yet but I will figure out a way this week so that you can get them if you want.
00:33:29When you don't blame the other person and you don't make any excuses then you are ready to date again.
00:33:46Otherwise it's just going to be a repetition.
00:33:54Some oh this is the same young lady thank you for being here.
00:33:57Some of the chat advised the guy to find another woman which to me was questionable advice as my sense was he needed therapy or a call in not another relationship.
00:34:07And the lack of consideration for minimizing collateral damage in dating was disappointing to see in the chat.
00:34:13You commented asking him to call in not sure if he will but I know in the past I've heard you advise others the same that is find another woman.
00:34:22No I'm pretty sure I don't think I've ever said to someone that the solution to a traumatic relationship is to just find another woman.
00:34:33Yeah I can't picture any scenario under which that could be the case.
00:34:39Because the solution to prior relationship issues is not to copy paste into the next relationship.
00:34:48So yeah I you know it's funny because I've done so many shows I wouldn't want to say but I've never said that when under some situation or circumstance or taken out of context or whatever maybe I said something like that.
00:35:05But I can't imagine any scenario in which I would say to someone just go find another woman and you'll be fine.
00:35:13Yeah so I think you have got that wrong.
00:35:17Hi Steph says another young lady.
00:35:22I've just realized that I've been allowing myself to be horrible to my husband when I'm struggling emotionally.
00:35:27He pointed out this wasn't acceptable and I eventually agreed with him.
00:35:32Now his point seems so obvious. Why didn't I see this before?
00:35:35I was completely convinced it was reasonable to be thoroughly unpleasant whenever I was stressed or unhappy.
00:35:39Why didn't you see this before? Because this is how your parents treated you.
00:35:43I don't think of English as English I think of English as language because it's all I know.
00:35:48I mean I know it's not but so this was normalized to you and this was trained in you and this is how your parents acted towards each other towards you towards others right.
00:36:02So it's normalized and to denormalize these things is to say I'm going to learn morally not historically.
00:36:09I'm not going to normalize what was I'm going to compare proposed actions to ideal standards not do they fit the template of what came before.
00:36:21All right.
00:36:24Gentle parenting is an approach to raising children that emphasizes empathy respect understanding and boundaries.
00:36:30It focuses on fostering a strong emotional connection between the parent and child encouraging positive behavior.
00:36:35I don't know what that means in practice.
00:36:37So I'm sorry I know I asked for an AI summary but it's just a bunch of adjectives and words.
00:36:41This nostalgia thing is hitting me pretty hard right now.
00:36:44So go back and learn the lessons and move forward.
00:36:46Ah here we go AI part two.
00:36:48Sorry I jumped the gun like a teenage boy.
00:36:51All right.
00:36:53Through guidance rather than punishment instead of using strict discipline harsh consequences gentle parenting promotes problem solving open communication and teaching children how to manage their emotions and actions in a supportive environment.
00:37:03The goal is to raise confident independent and emotionally intelligent individuals.
00:37:08All right.
00:37:10Problem solving.
00:37:12Sure.
00:37:13Open communication.
00:37:14Not sure what that means and teaching children how to manage their emotions and actions in a supportive environment.
00:37:20Again it's just positive adjectives do not a philosophy make.
00:37:24So if you could give me examples and I'm sorry I know I asked you to ask the AI to summarize.
00:37:30But the AI is a word guesser so it didn't summarize very well.
00:37:34If you could give me an example of peaceful parenting.
00:37:49My high school teacher once asked for help with her PC saying the whole thing where I put my coffee broke.
00:37:54It was a CD tray.
00:37:55I'm not kidding.
00:37:56Coffee is a little bit heavier than a CD.
00:37:58I can't tell you how amazing it was.
00:38:01It was like being able to 3D print your own car to be able to make your own CD back in the day.
00:38:05It's just wild.
00:38:17Let's see here.
00:38:21Out kayaking with a group yesterday.
00:38:23Some guy went off on his own.
00:38:24The guy chastised him and the dude was like I'm sorry you were upset.
00:38:29Oh God.
00:38:32Oh God.
00:38:33That's sad.
00:38:35It's like the women who you correct them on something like okay.
00:38:41Oh.
00:38:43That's like bamboo under the fingernails that shit right.
00:38:46You correct some woman.
00:38:47It's usually a woman although can happen with men too.
00:38:49But quote right.
00:38:50Quote right.
00:38:52You correct someone which is like okay.
00:38:54Okay.
00:38:55Okay.
00:38:56I can see to your irration.
00:38:57Okay.
00:38:58Fine.
00:38:59Fine.
00:39:00Two and two make four.
00:39:01Okay.
00:39:02The earth is not banana shaped.
00:39:03Okay.
00:39:04Okay.
00:39:05If that's simple.
00:39:06If it's that important to you I'll give it to you.
00:39:07You take it honey.
00:39:08If it's that it's not important to me if the facts and the truth and reality and objectivity
00:39:13and valid that's important to you.
00:39:16Okay.
00:39:17I'll concede.
00:39:18Okay.
00:39:21Right.
00:39:23All right.
00:39:25Well the other thing too is that there is a lot of people who get mad at the fact that
00:39:35the legal system is a little mental right.
00:39:39The legal system is a little mental.
00:39:42So I pulled from direct experience the scene in the future where Lewis takes his kid to
00:39:51the petting zoo.
00:39:53And I took Izzy to a petting zoo and we used to be able to play with the animals and this
00:39:58that and the other.
00:39:59It was really great.
00:40:00You could pick up the baby goats and it was just wonderful.
00:40:03And then we went there and there's a big sign that says you can't touch the animals.
00:40:07I said well what happened.
00:40:12It's like oh well you know a kid was holding a baby goat and it kicked and scratched him
00:40:20and we got threatened with a lawsuit.
00:40:25So the reason why I mean these sort of personal injury claims of course some of them are valid
00:40:32some of them are pure nonsense a lot of them I think.
00:40:36But because we have a low trust society where people sue for money rather than for justice
00:40:42then we end up in these situations where things just get progressively worse.
00:40:46So one of the reasons I don't know obviously but one of the reasons I assume that you're
00:40:50not allowed to go off on your own is that the company is held liable if somebody gets
00:40:58injured and so there's that fear right that worry that the business could be destroyed
00:41:05with some lawsuit.
00:41:07And so people get mad.
00:41:09People get mad.
00:41:10It's just like okay well then you have to find some way to have a better legal system.
00:41:20The sun on the moon makes a mighty night light.
00:41:23All right.
00:41:27No see everybody makes mistakes.
00:41:29I don't see how not apologizing follows.
00:41:31Everyone makes mistakes and they should all apologize for those.
00:41:35So this is the question of injury and I find this a really really fascinating question.
00:41:42To me.
00:41:44It's a real edge case for me.
00:41:46So do you apologize for mistakes?
00:41:51I don't think so.
00:41:53I don't think so.
00:41:54When I was in my early teens I had an Atari 800 and there was a game that required for
00:42:00you to run the game that you type in an incredibly complicated series of codes into the because
00:42:05it was a machine language game which ran a lot faster because it didn't have to go through
00:42:08the beginner's applied symbolic instruction code or basic layer of interpretation like
00:42:13Java right just makes your computer 90% slower.
00:42:16But I had to type in all of this stuff and I tried to run the game when some friends
00:42:21were over and it didn't work and it was like pages and pages and pages of A00 F99 like
00:42:26just crazy codes right.
00:42:27So anyway I went back over and found the error.
00:42:30Now am I going to apologize for fat fingering one of you know 5000 weird codes.
00:42:36No.
00:42:39No.
00:42:40So if it's a mistake if it's a mistake do you apologize for it.
00:42:47Well you apologize for the effects but you don't apologize for making the mistake because
00:42:51then that's having a standard that you need to grovel or in a sense or or apologize for
00:42:57an error.
00:42:58Do you apologize for mistakes.
00:43:00It's kind of like injuries.
00:43:03So when you look at injuries I mean I'm sure everyone here has been injured at one point
00:43:07or another.
00:43:08The worst I ever did really was I cracked a forearm I didn't break it and just got healed
00:43:12with a sling I didn't even need a cast.
00:43:14And why did I crack a forearm.
00:43:16I cracked a forearm because I was in a bad relationship or it was towards the end of
00:43:19a bad relationship and I was biking we picked up some roller some blinds and I was biking
00:43:25and the woman was like well that's stupid it's going to go into the spokes and I was
00:43:29like no it won't because I was mad and I was petty and right and I was in my 20s and anyway
00:43:35so what happened well I had to wobble to avoid sewage grate and the roller blinds went into
00:43:42the spokes and I went over and cracked my arm.
00:43:45Is that an accident.
00:43:46No.
00:43:48It's not an accident.
00:43:49That's not a oh my gosh here I was hiking in the woods and I got hit by a meteor.
00:43:58Right.
00:43:59I mean that's not an accident.
00:44:04And so.
00:44:06I don't much believe in accidents.
00:44:12I don't much believe in accidents.
00:44:15If I look at the accidents that I've had the injuries that I have received and I trace
00:44:21things back.
00:44:25It's almost always a bad decision that was being made.
00:44:30That leads to now there's a few I hurt my knee in St.
00:44:33Louis whenever giving a speech many years ago because I was chasing my daughter I had
00:44:40new sneakers on I was chasing my daughter down a hallway of a hotel and I didn't realize
00:44:44how incredibly gummy stuck my sneakers were so I stepped a little too soon couldn't move
00:44:50forward and fell on my knee.
00:44:52So okay that's an accident right.
00:44:55But when I look back at.
00:44:58Things that have injured me.
00:45:02It's almost.
00:45:04Like I mean I used this in a novel as well that when I was in my early to mid teens.
00:45:12There was a in Dom Mills there was a giant trestle bridge and I was swinging back and
00:45:19forth and I wanted to impress a girl with how strong I was so I swung out three times
00:45:23and on the third times my muscles were like no and I fell on the rocks now was that an
00:45:27accident no I was trying to impress someone.
00:45:29When I was snorkeling with a girl once I tried to impress her with how deep I could
00:45:35snorkel and how long I could hold my breath and I got water in my ear that took forever
00:45:39to get out was that an accident no I was being an idiot I was being shallow I was doing
00:45:47something retarded.
00:45:48I was being shallow I was doing something retarded.
00:45:54Right.
00:45:56Trying to look cool look like a fool.
00:46:04Now the plus side of that is that I tend not to have many accidents that's the plus side
00:46:10the minus side is when I have an accident I get mad at myself.
00:46:15So it's 50-50 right I mean I think over it's probably 51 benefit 49 cost so I generally
00:46:21don't have accidents.
00:46:24I took my daughter and I as I mentioned we like throwing these planes around especially
00:46:27if it's windy but obviously not in the backyard because if it's windy they just go right so
00:46:33we we drove to a big football field soccer field I guess by school and we were throwing
00:46:38the planes throwing the planes was great fun and near this there is a long jump right
00:46:47it's like the concrete path and then the sand right now I'm almost 58 be 58 in just under
00:46:55a month so for me I used to do these long jumps with her and I probably could I probably
00:47:01could do the long jump I mean I do a lot of leg exercises I did not skip leg day and I
00:47:07play I do a lot of hiking and I do racket sports so my knees don't give me any problems
00:47:12and all of that but to me I get this what if I really pull something what if I snap
00:47:21something what like because you know flying through the air I'm like 180 something pounds
00:47:26flying through the air and then landing it's a lot of stress on the knees and so on so
00:47:31the cost-benefit because if I put myself out and knee stuff can be really bad right I've
00:47:41put myself out for six months I'm just gonna I'm gonna kick myself as making a bad decision
00:47:45so because I'm gonna kick myself I don't assume that accidents come out of nowhere so I made
00:47:49a compromise in my brain I've been a little leery about doing full sprints ever since
00:47:54I injured my knee and so I made a compromise I said okay well I'm not gonna do the long
00:48:01jump because the benefit of the long jump is well it's kind of cool and I'll feel young
00:48:05and it's gonna need do something with my daughter the downside is I could put myself out for
00:48:08six months so the cost-benefit gets kind of complicated so what I did in my head was I
00:48:12said okay I'll tell you what brain we won't do the long jump but I'm gonna sprint back
00:48:18to the car like full sprint like absolute full sprint and I did and it was fine so there's
00:48:24my there's my balance right
00:48:31so do you apologize for mistakes no you can apologize for carelessness you can apologize
00:48:36for a shortcut you can apologize for a bad decision and so on but I wouldn't say just
00:48:41mistakes all right Steph you have inspired me to try and slowly get off sugar I'm Irish
00:48:47so chocolate is in my veins should be an inspiring battle and challenge thank you for
00:48:52the inspiration I appreciate that I'm glad glad to help because someday never comes yeah
00:48:58tomorrow never comes all right
00:49:08on several occasions I have dealt with people who misspell my name mainly via email and
00:49:12text it's annoying especially because my name is in my email what do you make of these people
00:49:17yeah I mean there's a certain level of quality that you really do need to expect from people
00:49:22I think it's fair you're it's a certain level of quality you need to expect but how tough
00:49:26is it to just check someone's name especially if you have an unusual name like mine is with
00:49:30an F and the silent X at the end and all of that so if you have an unusual name I think
00:49:34it's usually important to check it just shows a level of carelessness and all of that that
00:49:39is not it's a little bit of a red flag right
00:49:44well it's also really a red flag as if you meet somebody new and they're immediately
00:49:48talking about their exes and if somebody is still resentful over their previous relationships
00:49:51that's likely to spill over pretty quickly oh yeah do you meet these people who was like
00:49:56they still have the same amount of trapped and constipated emotional energy about a breakup
00:50:01that could happen a year or two or five or ten ago
00:50:06right how can you still how can it not have faded how can it not have faded
00:50:20all right good morning been a while since I've caught one live there you go
00:50:29okay thank you well I'm a Canadian we apologize to the wall for bumping into it
00:50:35says the woman who's 38
00:50:41my husband says my husband hates it when I say okay in arguments I guess that is why
00:50:46yeah that's why that's why because if a woman says and again it's a bit more of a female
00:50:53thing if you say but you're wrong about this and she says okay then she's saying it's not
00:50:58important when it usually is important she's just conceding because you're crazy and irrational
00:51:03about it and it's just an insult it really is I like that you call it the legal system
00:51:09and not the justice system yeah isn't touching the animals the whole point of a petting zoo
00:51:18you were allowed to feed them and maybe pat their backs but you couldn't pick them up
00:51:22and you couldn't right all right
00:51:28a close friend of mine is still struggling with finding a quality woman he explained
00:51:31to me that he finds himself acting out what he thinks how a good boyfriend would behave
00:51:35so much that his real needs and preferences aren't met how could I explain to him where
00:51:39this pattern of behavior comes from thank you for great guidance in answering my questions
00:51:44yeah
00:51:45yeah
00:51:57yeah mimicking a good person is creepy ah this is what a humanoid empath would do so
00:52:03I believe I can make myself approximate those facial expressions as he does a crossword
00:52:08with meat and bone in it so yeah I you know there's there's no way to be loved without
00:52:17liking yourself first I like my own brain I have a lot of fun in here sometimes it's
00:52:24a challenge I'm not gonna lie but I like my own company I enjoy spending time on my own
00:52:31I enjoy thinking my thoughts I enjoy singing my songs I enjoy making my little mental observations
00:52:37that bring a smile to my face I enjoy when I'm chatting with people bringing in a little
00:52:41smile to their face I enjoy the mechanism of my mind moving through the Merc of the
00:52:46world I enjoy the mechanism of my mind moving through the Merc of the world
00:52:56so if you don't enjoy your own company if you don't like yourself and really you can't
00:53:00really fake that I mean you just have to do the actions that you would like in someone
00:53:03else you just have to do those actions yourself so you end up liking yourself
00:53:09and if you like yourself
00:53:14see asking a woman out is asking her to come join the party called you come join the dinner
00:53:20party of fun called me come and we'll grab life by the horns together and we will milk
00:53:26the marrow of existence together and we will have terrifying fun exciting wonderful appalling
00:53:33joyful times together we will milk the Alpha and the Omega of existence we would go high
00:53:42we would go deep we would go wide we will go long and we will not depart this life feeling
00:53:49that we only skimmed the surface and did the bare minimum we are given this great gift
00:53:55of existence we will milk every atom of it for as much connection fun sexiness joy challenge
00:54:04heartbreak disaster and celebration as we can there is no highs we're not the lows we
00:54:12will explore both to their greatest peaks and deepest valleys and we will never on our
00:54:17deathbed look back and say it could have been more it could have been better it could have
00:54:22been more honest it could have been deeper it could have been more real I wasted I evaporated
00:54:27I dissolved I self-guiled my own potential and had it walk in shambling human skin through
00:54:34a void of connection and virtue no thank you
00:54:39when you ask a woman out you are asking her to join the celebration of life called your
00:54:44existence and if you're not celebrating life you're just lying and defrauding someone and
00:54:49saying come with me because I'm lonely come with me because I don't like sitting alone
00:54:54on the couch come with me because I'm horny come come with me because it's like no come
00:55:02with me because we will have a fantastic time together I'm enjoying my life so much I want
00:55:10to share it with someone I have such a great time in life I can't possibly do it alone
00:55:17you know when you have you order some meal and you're with someone you care about you
00:55:25order some meal and the meal is fantastic I just the other day went for lunch with my
00:55:35wife I had to pick up new glasses in the exciting world of philosophy well clarity is key right
00:55:42so I went for lunch with my wife and I had a grilled cheese sandwich of the gods it was
00:55:56so good and what is your first impulse when you're with someone you care about and you
00:56:05take a bite of fantastic food what is your first impulse you say oh you gotta try this
00:56:11this is so good I'm like weeping it's so good having a really good meal is tough I don't
00:56:19really like to spend much money eating out so I don't go to nice restaurants in particular
00:56:23it's just fuel for the most part but every now and then you just oh so good so good
00:56:28it's like one time I went to a rib fest you ever been to one of those a rib fest and you've
00:56:38got I mean it's a whole ecosystem of infinite rib enjoyment people like go insane for this
00:56:44rib stuff fiery ass blaster Texas Roadhouse and I'm like I should pay fairly good money
00:56:53to not eat this oily fatty gristle with sinus blasting spike sauce on it anyway so
00:57:02what's the first thing you want to do when you take a bite of great food if you're with
00:57:09someone you care about you gotta try this is so good this is so good right no that's
00:57:18your life it's so good I want to share it if you don't have a good life then you're
00:57:29asking for your food to taste better because somebody else is eating it nope your food
00:57:34has to taste great and then you share it first thing I said when I was chatting with my wife
00:57:40to be she said how was your day I said fantastic I got my first novel published got a great
00:57:46life wanna join it got a great life wanna join it this meal is fantastic try some as
00:57:52opposed to my meal is shitty so you have some my sandwich tastes like Klingon ass here have
00:58:06some how appealing is that this is the worst food I've ever tasted I really want you to
00:58:14have some that's my daughter spent six months trying to smuggle me cinnamon gum because
00:58:20I hate cinnamon gum and I know can I get some gum and she'd be like sure and I'm like hey
00:58:25is that cinnamon oh man okay we're gonna switch to donor only and then we'll get into the
00:58:33peaceful parenting stuff come on people I'm working my brain oh yeah still waiting on
00:58:41people to apologize for things said and done during COVID how long will the wait be safe
00:58:46and effective so I was probably I think I got this from a color it was about 20 years
00:58:52for people to realize that washing your hands was a good move and it took about 40 years
00:59:00from the beginning of the research that smoking was bad for people to generally recognize
00:59:03it so we're probably 20% of the way there we're 10 to 20% of the way there yeah remember
00:59:15when I was castigated for potentially causing conflict within families turns out they don't
00:59:20really care about conflict within families right all right so we are gonna go donor only
00:59:29and I really appreciate that come join me and you know some tips would be muchly appreciated
00:59:36the quality of the show is to some degree based on the quality of the tips because otherwise
00:59:40I have to fight a feeling of why am I here I mean other than to do philosophy which is
00:59:45nice but you know there are people to pay yeah my apartment smells like feline loneliness
00:59:51care to join me save me from my terrible life it's the worst mating call known to man right
01:00:05all right so let's get to the right spot here and we're gonna go donor only do I remember
01:00:13how to do that I'm pretty sure I do all right local supporters only let's update that stream
01:00:22and we'll get there in 20 seconds and let me get you to the promo code it's free to
01:00:31try man I can't make it cheaper than free I cannot make it cheaper than free and we
01:00:37will get to the parenting stuff and other things
01:00:46oh yes reminds me of the time I said orgasm in class instead of organism over 20 years
01:00:50later I still remember it yeah that happened to a friend of mine is that a living is that
01:00:55a living orgasm what if it's dead you're a necrophiliac and that's a significant minus
01:01:06all right and we're going to get to your spicy questions and we're going to do some
01:01:10parenting stuff and I think I'll swap over here all right join me freedom and locals.com