Dealing with Loss and Grief
Special Program addressing issues affecting widows and the broken hearted. Healing methods and the duty of the broader family and community towards widows etc.
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00:00السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
00:04بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وأصحابه أجمعين
00:13إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون
00:25This verse of the Quran is one of the most powerful verses reminding us who we are
00:35and who we actually belong to and where we are going to all return
00:42It is a verse where Allah speaks about those who have gone through hardship, suffering, some form of grief or loss
00:52those who have gone through difficulty of some sort
00:57and they say we belong to Allah and unto Allah is our ultimate return, all of us
01:06Allah says through those words if they really believe those words
01:11they would definitely be able to gain closeness to Allah, they are the rightly guided
01:17الذين إذا أصابتهم مصيبة قالوا إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون
01:35Those whom when calamity strikes, when hardship, difficulty, grief strikes
01:42they say we all belong to Allah and we're all going to return to Allah
01:49not just the person I lost but myself as well I'm going to go back to Allah
01:54this world is temporary, the worldly life is predetermined by Allah
01:59how long you're going to live is predetermined by Allah
02:04that doesn't mean you must be careless but what it does mean is
02:09you must accept when Allah has taken someone away and you must realize that you and I could go at any time
02:16so if Allah has written for your spouse or for your son or for your parent
02:23or for a sibling of yours to pass away at a certain age
02:26there is nothing you can do to change that but there is something you can do
02:32to be able to go through the decree of Allah with a little bit more ease and comfort
02:39with the help of Allah alone
02:41the question is who's going to help me?
02:44who is going to help me through my loss?
02:48the answer is none other than Allah
02:52people can say things
02:54they will never ever be able to understand the feelings of sorrow and hurt
03:01or the feelings of sadness that you're going through
03:05because they're just human beings
03:07you can tell a widow Allah make it easy
03:10inshallah everything will be fine don't be sad etc
03:14but she's just a human being
03:16she has to be sad because sadness is a quality of a human being
03:21and that sadness should never be because you question the decree of Allah
03:27but it is because you're a human being and you miss your beloved late husband
03:32may Allah grant him Jannatul Firdaus
03:34may Allah grant all the marhumeen and those who've passed on Jannatul Firdaus
03:39my beloved sisters today I'm speaking to people who have suffered a loss in one way or another
03:45mostly we have those who've lost I have lost people close to me too
03:51and I want to tell you all today
03:54the only one who can help you and assist you
03:59the only one who can guide you through these difficult days and create ease for you
04:05and comfort your soul that is in pain
04:08is the one who made you
04:10the one who made the soul
04:12the one who controls everything
04:14the one who controls your heart
04:16Allah, Allah alone
04:18for that reason I started this talk by reciting a verse which is also a dua
04:29if you understand that statement and you say it correctly
04:33Allah will grant you the ability to go through what he has chosen for you
04:39and you always need to be happy at the decree of Allah
04:44when a person converts to Islam
04:46or reverts to Islam
04:49we make them utter the shahada
04:52we make them say
04:58I bear witness there is none worthy of worship besides Allah
05:02I bear witness that Muhammad s.a.w. is the messenger of Allah
05:06they say it by tongue
05:08they should be believing it by their heart
05:11when they believe it by the heart they are called a mu'min
05:14iman
05:16notice when you say the pillars of Islam people mention the five pillars
05:20these five pillars they are easy to see because they are more actions
05:25so you have your utterance of the shahada
05:28you have your five daily prayers
05:31you have your zakah
05:33you have your saum or fasting
05:35people can see you're giving charity
05:37people can see you're abstaining from food
05:39and people can see that you've gone for hajj
05:41these are things that people can see
05:42that's Islam
05:44Islam to submit to Allah
05:46you've submitted physically but has your heart submitted to Allah
05:51for iman
05:53when we say what are the pillars of iman
05:55we mention six things
05:56what are they?
06:11there are actually seven things but six points
06:16let's go through them
06:18I believe in Allah
06:20so whatever you said in terms of your shahada when you reverted to Islam
06:23now you are declaring that I believe it in my heart
06:27Allah knows the condition of your heart
06:29I believe Allah is the maker
06:31the nourisher
06:32the sustainer
06:33the provider
06:34the protector
06:35the curer
06:36the one in whose hands lies control of every aspect of existence
06:40the giver of life
06:41and the one who takes life away
06:43the one who has control over who's going to go to paradise
06:46and who's not going to go into jannatul firdaus
06:48may Allah grant us jannah without reckoning
06:50say ameen
06:52my beloved sisters
06:54we believe in Allah
06:56that's what we say amen to billah
06:58then we believe in the angels
07:00and we believe in the previous books
07:02we believe in all the prophets
07:04all of them
07:06we believe in them
07:08we believe in the last day
07:10that is the day of qiyamah
07:12and in fact when we say wal ba'ath ba'dal mawt
07:15it's connected to the last day
07:17because resurrection and the final day are connected
07:19so we'll count that as one point
07:21but there is a certain point that we believe in
07:23that is probably one of the most challenging
07:28what is it?
07:31wal qadr
07:33khayrihi wa sharrihi
07:35minallahi ta'ala
07:38fate, decree, destiny
07:40good and bad
07:42is from Allah
07:44I declare that, I believe that
07:46I surrender to it and I'm happy with it
07:48that is when you're a true mu'mina
07:49you're a believer
07:51believing female
07:53mu'mina
07:55and a mu'min, believing male
07:57when you believe that what Allah does is the best
08:01the best
08:03there couldn't have been anything better
08:05so you might say but it was so bad
08:07how he passed away was so bad
08:09how she passed on was so bad
08:11how could you say it was the best thing
08:13well, it could have been worse
08:16that statement is the statement of a believer
08:17it could have been worse
08:19I know of people who go through so much of hardship
08:23that there are others who go through less
08:26but they're finding it difficult to go through
08:28yet some go through much more
08:30and they're still saying
08:32alhamdulillahi ala kulli hal
08:34praise be to Allah upon all conditions
08:37do you know on the day of judgment
08:39a caller will call before the reckoning of everybody
08:43a caller will call by the will of Allah
08:45subhanahu wa ta'ala
08:47ayna allatheena kanu yahmaduna allaha fissarra'i waddarra'
08:53where are those who used to thank Allah or praise Allah
08:57alhamdulillah means all praise is due to Allah
09:00where are those who used to praise Allah
09:03during times of difficulty and times of ease
09:06all conditions, they used to praise Allah
09:09so a group will get up
09:11may Allah make us from amongst them
09:13they will be taken through their hisab
09:14everything will be done for them
09:17and they will be granted entry into paradise
09:20among the first group
09:22and then the rest of the reckoning will start
09:24did you ever know that?
09:26did you ever know that?
09:28what is the benefit of praising Allah upon all conditions?
09:32it is that on the day of judgment
09:35you will be called out
09:39as a VVIP
09:41very very important person
09:42why?
09:43Allah says
09:45I created you, I chose for you, I decreed for you
09:49I did things that you liked and things you didn't like
09:52but you always praised me
09:54come into jannah, that's it
09:56subhanallah, you understood me
09:58you recognized me
10:00and that's why I started off by saying
10:02Islam is the five pillars
10:04Iman is the six pillars
10:06Ihsan is a level higher
10:07to worship Allah as if you see Him
10:09if you don't see Him, He sees you
10:12Ihsan is a level higher than Islam and Iman
10:15it means when you are worshipping Allah
10:17you are worshipping as though
10:19you can visualize
10:23as though you are in front of Allah
10:26but if you cannot do that
10:28the same hadith says
10:30at least know that Allah is watching you
10:32so these are the levels
10:34that's the level of Ihsan
10:35and there is a level higher than that
10:39what is the highest level of closeness to Allah?
10:42do you know?
10:44have you thought about it?
10:46have you been told? have you been taught?
10:48did you dig it up and check?
10:50I can tell it to you now
10:52it's called
10:54to be happy at the decree of Allah
10:59then
11:01you've arrived at a level higher
11:03than the rest of the people
11:06when you say the term Radhi
11:10Radhi means to be happy, to be okay
11:13I might not be excited with the fact
11:15that someone passed away
11:17but I'm happy with the decree of Allah
11:19I'm sad at the fact that as a human being
11:21I'm going to miss my husband
11:23or my wife or my child
11:25or my brother or my parents
11:27as a human being I will cry
11:30it's normal to cry
11:31it's good to shed tears
11:33it's very healthy to shed tears
11:35even as a believing female
11:37or a male
11:39it does not mean that your Iman is weak
11:41because you are crying
11:43not at all, you are allowed to cry
11:45the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wasallam shed tears
11:47upon the loss of Ibrahim, his son
11:49and when he was asked
11:51what is this oh messenger?
11:53he says
11:58this is a mercy
11:59that Allah has placed in the hearts
12:01of those who are merciful
12:03I'm not crying because I'm questioning
12:05the decree of Allah
12:07this is my son
12:09I'm crying because
12:11we are going to be separated
12:13for a short time
12:15that's the reason
12:17I'm going to miss him in other words
12:19the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wasallam says
12:21and we are saddened
12:23at the separation from you
12:25oh Ibrahim
12:27addressing his son
12:29in his infancy
12:31Subhanallah
12:33so my beloved sisters
12:35take it in your stride
12:37the only thing that's going to bring comfort
12:39to your heart
12:41the only thing is the remembrance of Allah
12:43there's nothing else
12:45that can bring comfort to your heart
12:47besides the remembrance of Allah
12:49and the gifts that Allah bestows upon you
12:52things could have been worse
12:54like I said
12:56so what is the remembrance of Allah?
12:57usually when we say
12:59dhikr of Allah
13:01we tend to forget that
13:03the best of dhikr
13:05is the recitation of the Qur'an
13:11I've been promoting a challenge to say
13:13start your day with a few words of the Qur'an
13:16start your day with one verse of the Qur'an
13:18see how your life changes
13:20start your day with five minutes of the Qur'an
13:22ten minutes of the Qur'an
13:24notice I'm not telling you how many pages
13:25I'm telling you how many minutes
13:27because time is precious
13:29but trust me the word of Allah
13:31is the most precious
13:34there is no gift
13:36that you can give yourself better
13:39than the recitation of the word of Allah
13:42and getting close to Allah
13:44there's no gift better than that
13:46nothing will bring you contentment
13:48no amount of wealth
13:50no amount of material items
13:52no motor vehicles
13:53no perfumes
13:55no makeup
13:57no whatever fashion of clothing
13:59nothing will bring you true contentment
14:01besides your relationship with Allah
14:03and I swear this
14:05by he who raised the skies without pillars
14:08there's no chance
14:10that you can achieve contentment
14:12except through the remembrance of Allah
14:15and your relationship with Allah
14:17when it improves
14:19you will have contentment
14:21you will be happy
14:23we tend to focus on the wrong things
14:25those things that are giving you temporary pleasure
14:27those are the very things
14:29that will bring about sadness
14:31and hurt to your heart
14:33because you've given your heart in the wrong cause
14:35you donated your heart to something material
14:38it became more important to you than Allah
14:40that is why the struggle
14:42so make Allah the most important
14:44in your life
14:46see what happens
14:47arabic
15:03those who believe
15:06their hearts are calmed
15:09only by the remembrance of Allah
15:11for indeed it is only the remembrance of Allah
15:14that calms the heart
15:15that gives it comfort
15:17that gives it contentment
15:19no matter what you've suffered
15:21I had a brother recently
15:23who lost in a fire
15:25an entire warehouse
15:28when they informed him of it
15:30he said
15:32arabic
15:34subhan Allah
15:36amazing
15:38arabic
15:40our Iman is intact
15:43subhan Allah
15:45we are still free to worship Allah
15:48alhamdulillah
15:50we still have family around us
15:52alhamdulillah
15:54we still have opportunities to worship Allah
15:57alhamdulillah
15:59arabic
16:00arabic
16:13people used to brag about
16:15how much they have
16:17people used to brag about
16:19how many things they have
16:21how much wealth they've accumulated
16:23and so on
16:25Allah revealed verses saying
16:27tell them O Muhammad
16:28it is the grace of Allah and His virtue
16:33upon you
16:36that should be the real source of your happiness
16:40when Allah has allowed you to read Salatul Fajr
16:43thank Him
16:45by saying O Allah
16:47I thank you for accepting me
16:49to put my head on the ground for you
16:51when Allah has allowed you
16:53to witness
16:55all your five Salah in the day
16:56and fulfill it
16:58thank Allah to say O Allah
17:00I thank you for having allowed me
17:02to put my head on the ground for you
17:04longer
17:06in a better way
17:08with warm tears
17:10O Allah
17:11the loss that I have suffered
17:13you are the one who is the owner of my heart
17:15make it easy for me
17:17continue repeating a dua
17:20like a nagging person
17:22because Allah loves those who nag
17:24when it comes to dua
17:26He loves repetition
17:28again and again and again
17:30same thing
17:31again and again
17:32humankind doesn't like it
17:33when you ask them more than
17:35once or twice or a few times
17:37they'll get irritated
17:38but Allah loves it
17:39Allah loves you to repeat
17:40again, again
17:41you are showing your helplessness to Allah
17:43display it
17:45whatever you do
17:46don't sin
17:47don't transgress
17:48and if you have fallen
17:49because you are a human being
17:51turn back to Allah
17:53in istighfar
17:54and don't lose hope in His mercy
17:56remember that
17:57when you have fallen
17:58because you are a human being
17:59and if you have fallen
18:00because you are a human being
18:02remember one thing
18:05turn back to Allah
18:06through istighfar
18:07and don't lose hope
18:08in the mercy of Allah
18:13when Allah
18:14has placed you
18:15in a certain situation
18:17of hardship
18:18that is your test
18:19that is your test
18:21you can never tell the examiner
18:22this question
18:24is unacceptable
18:27you might find it
18:28a little bit difficult
18:29but with the help of Allah
18:30nothing is difficult
18:31look at the prophet
18:32when they first
18:33revealed to him
18:34when Allah revealed to him
18:38what did he say
18:41he was told read
18:43he just politely responded
18:44I'm not a qari
18:46not a reader
18:50again
18:51I'm not a reader
18:53guess what he was told
18:54after that
18:55verses were revealed
19:02read in the name of your lord
19:04who created
19:06what does that mean
19:08that means if you think
19:09you cannot do something
19:10you read in the name
19:11of your lord
19:12the minute you take
19:13the name of Allah
19:14you are able to do it
19:16it will become easy for you
19:18that's why as Muslims
19:19what are we taught
19:20we are taught that
19:21everything you do
19:22say bismillah
19:23bismillah
19:24before you eat bismillah
19:25you open the door
19:26of the motor vehicle
19:27bismillah
19:29you go somewhere
19:30you do something
19:31bismillah
19:33why because
19:34it is only
19:35with the name of Allah
19:38that everything is made easy
19:39and with the same name of Allah
19:41nobody can harm you
19:43nothing can hurt you
19:45nothing in the heavens
19:46or the earth
19:47in the skies should I say
19:48or the earth
19:50can ever harm you
19:51bismillah
19:52الذي لا يضر مع اسمه شيء في الأرض
19:56ولا في السماء
19:58وهو السميع العليم
20:00I take the name of Allah
20:02with whose name
20:04nothing can harm me
20:07on earth
20:08or in the skies
20:09and he is all hearing
20:11all knowing
20:12that's a powerful dua
20:15another very good dua
20:16يا حي يا قيوم
20:19oh you who is
20:20ever living
20:21all alert
20:22why am I calling out to him
20:24we die
20:25Allah doesn't die
20:27people around us pass on
20:29Allah doesn't pass on
20:30people are helpless
20:32Allah is not helpless
20:34everyone else is helpless
20:35the people you turn to for help
20:37they themselves
20:38cannot help themselves
20:40subhanallah
20:42and we turn to people for help
20:44they will let us down
20:46turn to Allah
20:48what does Allah say
20:50listen to this dua
20:51taught by the prophet s.a.w
20:53يا حي يا قيوم
20:57oh you who is
20:58ever living
20:59all alert
21:00برحمتك أستغيث
21:03استغاثة
21:04means to seek help
21:05in desperation
21:07so برحمتك أستغيث
21:08means
21:09I desperately seek
21:11your mercy
21:12that's what it means
21:13رحمتك
21:14your mercy
21:15is what I desperately seek
21:19يا حي يا قيوم
21:23برحمتك أستغيث
21:26أصلح لي شأن كله
21:29make good for me
21:30all my affairs
21:32help me in all my affairs
21:34the difficulty
21:35the hardship
21:36the grief
21:37the sorrow
21:38the loss
21:39whatever it is
21:40oh Allah
21:41help me in all my affairs
21:42أصلح لي شأن كله
21:44ولا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفة عين
21:48and don't leave me to myself
21:51don't leave me alone
21:52don't forsake me
21:54even for the blinking of an eye
21:57one blink of my eye
21:59I don't want you to go away from me
22:01I don't want you to leave me
22:02because I'm not going to survive
22:04that's a dua of the prophet s.a.w
22:07let's learn the dua
22:09call out to Allah
22:10using this dua
22:12many times a day
22:13in no fixed number
22:14يا حي يا قيوم
22:16برحمتك أستغيث
22:19أصلح لي شأن كله
22:21ولا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفة عين
22:25سبحان الله
22:27سبحان الله
22:28see the doors opening
22:31my beloved sisters
22:32if you were to make a decision
22:35that would bring you closer to Allah
22:37that you might have found difficult in your life
22:40but you did it to please Allah
22:44you will notice the doors of mercy opening
22:47the doors of contentment opening
22:49you will notice a lot of goodness
22:51coming in your direction
22:52subhanallah
22:54let me give you an example
22:56if you're struggling to dress appropriately
23:00and I'm wording it very respectfully
23:02if you're struggling to dress appropriately
23:05and you find that
23:07you're going to push yourself
23:09for the pleasure of Allah
23:10to do the right thing
23:12for the sake of Allah
23:14no matter what the world says
23:17I promise you
23:18within a short span of time
23:20you will start witnessing the doors of mercy open
23:24one after the other
23:26the first thing you will achieve
23:28is contentment
23:30contentment means
23:31I lost my husband
23:32I lost my son
23:33I lost my daughter
23:34I lost my father
23:35I lost my mother
23:36and I lost my brother
23:37and my sister
23:38but I'm sitting here saying
23:40Allahumma laka alhamdu
23:42O Allah
23:43to you belongs all praise
23:45why? because I'm content
23:47I lost a lot
23:48it's going to be challenging my sister
23:50pick up the pieces and move on
23:53Allah will give you the strength
23:56pick up the pieces and don't pity yourself
23:59because you're not the first person
24:01it has happened to indeed
24:03but at the same time
24:04it's Allah who loves you
24:05because He says to us
24:07through the blessed lips
24:08of Muhammad S.A.W
24:09when Allah loves you
24:14He will test you
24:15no test
24:16you must be worried
24:17why am I not being tested by Allah?
24:19perhaps something wrong with me
24:21we pay in order to write the entrance exam
24:24to enter the prestigious schools
24:26when we get into the school
24:27test after test
24:28exam after exam
24:29we are proud
24:30we actually wanted those tests
24:32the more difficult the test at the school
24:34the higher the qualification
24:36don't you agree?
24:37well Allah operates in a similar
24:39yet slightly different fashion
24:41the greater the test
24:43the higher the qualification
24:45if you were tested with a pimple
24:47that a mosquito bit you
24:48and you had it
24:49and you scratched it
24:50and so on
24:51that's a minor test
24:52for some people it's like a qiyamah
24:55especially if it's on the face
24:59but to be honest with you
25:01it is relative because
25:03that is such a minute thing
25:05that distracted you so badly
25:08but it's a small test
25:10the certificate you're going to get
25:12because of saying Alhamdulillah
25:13when a mosquito bites you
25:15and there's a lovely big red mark on your nose
25:18and you still say Alhamdulillah
25:19at least the rest of my face is okay
25:22I wonder if that happens
25:24but if you do say that
25:26you get a certificate
25:27what is it?
25:28it's a small one
25:29a great one
25:30that's it
25:31you passed maybe ECD
25:32there we were
25:33that was actually the mosquito that bit you
25:34now let's see
25:35the next time what happens?
25:37may Allah protect us
25:39you suffer a bigger loss
25:40you are challenged in a bigger way
25:42you came onto the earth
25:44in order to be tested
25:45some people say
25:46how do I know that?
25:48you know it because
25:49you are being tested every single day
25:51notice it
25:52you get sick
25:53you get upset
25:54you suffer loss
25:56there's robbery
25:57there's accidents
25:58there's negativity
25:59there's loss of life
26:00loss of produce
26:01there's anxiety
26:03all this is from what?
26:05from the tests of Allah
26:07وَلَنَبَلُونَّكُمْ
26:09we are going to test every single one of you Allah says
26:11with what?
26:13the first thing he says
26:14بِشَيءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ
26:17have you ever thought of why he mentioned that first?
26:20he says
26:21with a bit of anxiety
26:22fear
26:24fear of the unknown
26:26anxiety
26:28that's what it is
26:29people suffer
26:30you just lost your spouse
26:31now what's gonna happen?
26:32he was the bread winner
26:34I'm sitting with so many children
26:35I'm a widow now
26:36what should I do?
26:37I don't know where to earn
26:39may Allah make it easy for you my sister
26:43my sister we are here for you
26:45we are a community
26:47we are here for you
26:48by the will of Allah
26:49for the sake of Allah
26:53be strong
26:54Allah will give you the strength
26:56you may have to get up and do things
26:58you've never done before
27:00Allah will give you the strength
27:02believe in Allah
27:04and believe that Allah will give you that strength
27:06but
27:07when you pity yourself
27:08and you're expecting
27:10other people to do for you
27:11that's not going to happen
27:13ask the widows
27:14they'll tell you
27:15first week everyone was at home
27:18then
27:19it cut down to a weekend
27:22few weekends
27:23people used to come home
27:24during the week I was quite lonely
27:27then even the weekends they stopped coming
27:29it was only on the day of Eid they came
27:32and they actually spoiled my Eid
27:36la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah
27:38it happens
27:39sometimes those who want to assist
27:42are actually the source of the problem
27:45people have experienced it
27:47but that is Allah showing you
27:49they'll come to you for a few days
27:51within that time of your Eid
27:53pick yourself up
27:54and realize
27:55it's a blessing of Allah
27:57it's a blessing
27:58Allah is going to give you the strength
28:00what to you is success?
28:02that's my question my beloved sister
28:04what is success to you?
28:06can I give you the answer?
28:09success is when you have
28:11led a life in a way
28:13that the end prize is paradise
28:16that's the only success
28:17there's no other success
28:20if you had the millions and the billions
28:22and nobody died in your family before you
28:25and you still did not get paradise
28:27you lost everything
28:29that's not success
28:30that's failure
28:32because you lived for a few years
28:34went into your grave
28:37but if you had almost nothing on earth
28:39or you suffered loss after loss
28:41and sickness and disease
28:42and this problem
28:43and childbirth was an issue
28:45and you suffered miscarriages
28:46and you went through this and through that
28:48one after the other
28:49and you kept pushing yourself
28:50and thanking Allah
28:52worshipping Allah
28:53praising Allah
28:54not giving up on Allah
28:56do you know what?
28:57when you earn Jannah
28:58that is the ultimate success
29:01that is the ultimate happiness
29:02that is the virtue of Allah
29:04that is the gift of Allah
29:07Hadith of the Prophet S.A.W
29:09he says
29:10do you know how powerful that is?
29:13it means
29:14the gift of a true believer
29:16is death
29:19why is it a gift?
29:20simple ABC response to that
29:23Allah promises you
29:24when you do this
29:25I'll give you this reward
29:26when you fulfill your Salah
29:27I'll give you this reward
29:28when you do your fasting
29:30I'll give you this reward
29:31I'll reward you
29:32multiply it by so much
29:33and I'll multiply it
29:34and when you stay away from sin
29:36I'll multiply it
29:37when you do something wrong
29:39and you engage in Istighfar
29:42I will still write that for you as a reward
29:44because you sought forgiveness from us
29:47when are you going to see all those rewards?
29:50when are you going to get all those rewards?
29:52imagine the teacher tells you at school
29:54okay, you are first in class
29:56you are going to get a prize
29:58you keep asking the teacher
29:59when is the prize giving?
30:02they tell you
30:0427th of November
30:07you can't wait for 27th of November
30:10when the date comes
30:12you have to get yourself to the school
30:14and make sure when your name is called out
30:16you walk up on the stage
30:18to collect your what?
30:21collect your prize
30:22if you don't want to go to the prize giving
30:24how are you going to get it?
30:26you know you are going to get a prize
30:28but how are you going to get it?
30:29you refuse to go to the function
30:31or you don't want to get up on the stage
30:35a similar example would be that of Jannah
30:37Allah has promised you
30:38this is your prize
30:39you are going to get this reward, that reward
30:41in order to retrieve it
30:42you need to come to us
30:44you need to come to us
30:46okay, I want to go to Allah
30:47and I want to get my prize
30:48Allah says, you know what?
30:49we call the coming to us
30:51we call it death
30:53Allahu Akbar
30:54we call it death
30:56I as a mu'min am totally convinced
31:00that the day my eyes close
31:02I will absolutely be
31:05going to a much better place
31:08than I am in right now
31:10why?
31:11because I have a kalima
31:13I have a shahada
31:14I have iman
31:15I believe in Allah
31:16I surrender to Allah
31:18wherever I faltered
31:19I seek the forgiveness of Allah
31:21and I try my best
31:23and I am just a human
31:25and Allah knows
31:26He has created me as a human
31:27if Adam alayhis salam
31:28fell and sought forgiveness
31:30and Allah forgave him
31:31if I were to fall and seek forgiveness
31:33do you think the same Allah
31:34is not going to forgive me?
31:35I am convinced I am going to a better place
31:37I can't wait to get back to Allah
31:39it's going to be superb
31:40it's going to be amazing
31:41I've heard that he is ghafoor
31:43rahim, rahman, wadood
31:45most forgiving, most passionate
31:47most kind, most loving
31:49how can I think for a moment
31:52that I am not going to go to a better place
31:54in this world I might have been
31:56temporarily at the mercy of
31:58someone who is ruthless
32:00someone might have shown me their power
32:02by firing me at work
32:04it's a loss
32:05someone might have shown me their might
32:07by abusing me
32:10we tell them, oh Allah
32:12they are showing us their might
32:15you show them your might
32:18subhanallah
32:19you never go wrong
32:25people have done all sorts to us
32:27in our lives
32:28they've said things
32:29all of us, everyone
32:30without exception
32:31people have to have
32:32bitten about you
32:33why? Allah is giving you a chance
32:35the same question you got in your paper
32:37I got on my paper
32:38how did I answer it?
32:39how did you answer it?
32:40if we answer it through the light
32:42shone by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
32:44revelation
32:45we will succeed
32:46and if we have answered it
32:47in another way
32:48we will fail
32:50and that's why
32:51if I were to ask you
32:52how many of you
32:53nobody ever bit about you
32:55how many of you
32:56nobody ever gossiped about you
32:58how many of you
32:59nobody ever spread a rumor about you
33:01there isn't a single person
33:02including the young ones
33:03the minute you're born
33:05they start saying things about you
33:06la ilaha illallah
33:07especially in Benoni
33:10the minute you're born
33:11you start hearing things
33:12la ilaha
33:13what did I do?
33:14well the mistake was
33:15you know what?
33:16you were born
33:17and you had these beautiful curly locks
33:19that's it
33:20they have a problem with it
33:22they can't stomach it
33:23la ilaha illallah
33:24may Allah forgive us
33:26may Allah grant us goodness
33:29people will say all sorts
33:31people
33:32it's their test
33:33ask yourself
33:34do I say all sorts about other people?
33:36am I a gossiper?
33:37am I the source of somebody else's hurt?
33:40am I the source of somebody else's sleepless night?
33:42am I the source of somebody else's grief?
33:45if that's the case
33:46you'll never be assisted in your own grief
33:49do you want help in your grief?
33:51reach out to other people in similar grief
33:53create a group
33:54that's why when I heard about this group
33:56and I said you know what?
33:57I will definitely come
33:59what's the reason?
34:00the reason is
34:02I heard
34:03that the messenger peace be upon him told us
34:06that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
34:10I am
34:11with those who are broken hearted
34:15so if you were to go to those who are broken hearted
34:18you will find Allah
34:20that's the reason why I'm here
34:23we're looking for Allah
34:25the help of Allah
34:26the pleasure of Allah
34:27that's what it is
34:28obviously you know what I mean
34:30when I say we're looking for Allah
34:31we're looking for his pleasure
34:34broken hearted
34:36there are people amongst us
34:38who don't know where the next meal is going to come from
34:41they don't know where the next rental is going to come from
34:44because they've lost loved ones
34:45who kept them and protected them
34:47in a way that they didn't have to worry about it
34:49today suddenly all the worry is on their shoulders
34:52and then you have a problem
34:53what's the problem?
34:54well
34:55people do not give
34:58people do not give the inheritance
35:01in the proper manner
35:03to some of the widows and sisters
35:05and this is why
35:06I want to address the brothers who are going to view this later on
35:09or who are going to hear this later on
35:11my beloved brothers
35:12if you are deceiving someone of their wealth
35:15and their inheritance
35:16or you're delaying them
35:17or you're cheating them
35:19Allah has warned you in the Quran
35:21of a severe punishment to come
35:23in this world and the next
35:24make sure you take care of the widows and the orphans
35:27the hadith says
35:28the one who takes care of the widows and orphans
35:31for the sake of Allah
35:32is equivalent as the one who fasts all day every day
35:36and who stands in prayer all night every night
35:39la ilaha illallah
35:41I haven't heard of a greater reward
35:43than that in terms of service to other people
35:46so widows and orphans come first
35:49and Allah has revealed a whole surah
35:51surah an-nisa
35:52dedicated to widows and orphans
35:54and the women
35:57that's why he says right at the beginning
35:59don't eat their wealth
36:00be careful
36:01don't cheat them
36:02look after them
36:03take care of them
36:04subhanallah
36:05there will come a point when you have young widows
36:08initially they might say
36:09you know what
36:10I never want to get married again
36:11wallahi it is the duty of the family and the community
36:14to ensure that they encourage them to get married
36:18and to help them in that marriage
36:20I know of families who don't want their
36:24sons' widows to marry again
36:26simply because they don't want the children
36:29perhaps to be in the care of another man
36:31what selfishness is this
36:34when the prophet s.a.w. himself
36:36did the most noble thing by marrying
36:39only widows and divorced women
36:41besides one
36:44you had a greater chance of getting married
36:46to the prophet of Allah s.a.w.
36:49if you were a widow
36:50than if you were a virgin
36:53and nowadays people make it difficult
36:56it's taboo
36:57widow wants to get married
36:58they say astaghfirullah
36:59what's so astaghfirullah about it
37:01say mashallah alhamdulillah
37:04Allah grant us ease
37:06we should be helping them
37:08I know of so many who probably shy away from the topic
37:13my beloved sisters
37:15it's about time we open our hearts
37:17we have a crisis on the globe at the moment
37:20in the Muslim ummah
37:21where we have hundreds of widows
37:23if not thousands
37:24hundreds are just here in our own countries
37:27thousands across the globe
37:29who don't know where the next
37:31rental is going to come from
37:35and here we are stopping our men
37:37from even assisting
37:39from even trying to be
37:41protecting
37:44we need to think about it
37:45do you know why
37:46I could be next
37:48that's why
37:49I could be next
37:51it's a serious matter
37:53it's easy for people to just
37:55brush it under the carpet
37:57but it's a crisis
37:58look at the ansar and muhajireen
38:00at the time of the prophet
38:01it was not about being widowed
38:03it was more about
38:06being driven out of your home
38:08and your belongings taken away
38:11the ansar of medina opened their homes
38:13and they shared half of their wealth
38:15with the muhajireen
38:17who were total strangers
38:18besides for the shahada
38:20besides for being muslim
38:22besides for being followers of nabi muhammad
38:26they were strangers
38:28they opened their houses
38:30they shared half of their belongings
38:32in some cases much more than that happened
38:34subhanallah
38:36we're not even prepared to do
38:38a portion of that
38:40for someone whom we grew up with
38:42in our community, our society
38:44we saw the loss they suffered
38:46but no, we don't have a big enough heart
38:48then it happened to us
38:50and the rest of the community did exactly the same to us
38:52but we did it to someone else before
38:54so it's just a circle, break it
38:58may Allah forgive us
39:00my beloved brothers
39:02like I say, who may see this later on
39:04we need to make sure
39:06we do the right thing, don't be selfish
39:08I remember
39:10a case I was dealing with some time back
39:12where
39:14the father of the deceased
39:16told his
39:18son's widow
39:20who was his daughter-in-law at one stage
39:22you know, you're getting married again
39:24marhum would have been
39:26so upset
39:30I saw a dream
39:32of that man saying
39:34it was the best thing that could have happened
39:36who am I, a total stranger
39:38third party
39:40so I told this man
39:42I said, you know what, this is the dream I had
39:47I'm not a prophet
39:49and I'm not even a person
39:51on a level of spirituality
39:53but I think it was a reassurance
39:55because of the way you insulted
39:57the widow
39:59when she wanted to just get married to someone
40:01so what, it's been a while
40:03may Allah make it easy
40:05we're going to have to wake up
40:07otherwise we're going to have major problems
40:09in societies and communities
40:11people look up to us
40:13as
40:15those who might guide them
40:17and here we are, trying to deal with issues
40:21may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy
40:23my beloved sister
40:27inshallah
40:29through the groups
40:31that you have
40:33you would achieve support
40:35from the community, the Muslim community
40:37and if you don't
40:39achieve that, you can go
40:41broader, beyond your own
40:43small community, to perhaps
40:45a larger community
40:47you can reach anyone of
40:51the ulama of the Muslim
40:53ummah, if they are truly
40:55sincere, they will assist
40:57for the sake of Allah, only for
40:59the pleasure of Allah, without intending
41:01a thing in return
41:03nothing, besides the pleasure
41:05of Allah
41:09if we don't stand up for one another
41:11and support one another
41:13and create ease in the lives of one another
41:15trust me, we're never going to be able
41:17to create ease in our own lives
41:19never
41:25the prophet s.a.w. says
41:27Allah's help will continue to come to a worshipper
41:29for as long as that worshipper
41:31is continuing to help
41:33another worshipper
41:37you want the help of Allah?
41:39that's the ingredient
41:41you want Allah to alleviate something?
41:43help others alleviate something similar
41:45it's in many
41:47ahadith
41:53then my
41:55beloved mothers and sisters
41:57another very interesting
41:59point is the hope
42:01in the mercy of Allah
42:03like I said earlier, personally
42:05we should be having hope in the mercy
42:07of Allah, we are human
42:09we are believers
42:13we have faith
42:15the fact that we are human
42:17we sometimes err
42:19we make mistakes, we sin
42:21sometimes, but we turn back to Allah
42:23that's the difference between a believer
42:25and a non-believer, so I have
42:27hope in the mercy of Allah
42:29that when I die, I'm going to
42:31Jannatul Firdaus, by the mercy
42:33of Allah, by His
42:35mercy, not necessarily by my
42:37deeds, my deeds are nothing
42:39your deeds are nothing, those are only an
42:41attempt to please Allah
42:43the actual pleasure of Allah is what's
42:45going to take you into Jannah
42:47so if you have lost a loved one
42:49have hope
42:51that they have gone to Jannah
42:53have hope that you are going to meet them very
42:55very soon, did you know that for
42:57them time passes so fast
42:59but for us who are alive
43:01time takes long to pass
43:03quick example is that of
43:05two people sleeping on a bed
43:07one has dozed
43:09off and the other one is tossing and
43:11turning and tossing and turning
43:13before you know it
43:15it's already 6 o'clock in the morning
43:175 o'clock in the morning, the alarm rings
43:19the one gets up, the other one is like
43:21I haven't slept
43:23this one says, oh to me it felt
43:25like 2 minutes, I'm already up
43:27and the other one says
43:29what do you mean 2 minutes, it's been 20 long
43:31hours
43:33why, because one was awake, one was asleep
43:35the same example happens when someone
43:37passes away, you're on earth
43:39time takes long to
43:41pass, you've passed away, it's a few
43:43moments and you're going to be on the day of Qiyamah
43:45few moments, so don't worry
43:47they're in a good place, make
43:49dua for them
43:51seek forgiveness for
43:53them, do a charity perhaps
43:55on their behalf
43:57leave it in the hands of Allah
43:59don't stress beyond that point too much
44:01because it's
44:03not in your hands beyond that point
44:05you can do whatever you can do, the rest of it
44:07have hope in the mercy of Allah
44:09Allah will grant you
44:11Allah will open your doors for you
44:13keep going
44:15and Allah Almighty will open door
44:17after door, you'll see the goodness
44:19another thing
44:21my beloved mothers and sisters
44:23raising a child
44:25in the correct way is one of the
44:27greatest acts of worship
44:31so even with the absence
44:33of or in the absence of your
44:35spouse who's passed on
44:37if you dedicate your time
44:39to raising the child in a good way
44:41because you now have to be the mother
44:43and the father
44:45you now have to spend a little bit more time
44:47it's challenging
44:49don't just sit in one corner and cry
44:51everyday, once in a while it's normal to cry
44:53like I said, it's healthy to cry
44:55it's actually very
44:57beneficial sometimes to shed tears
44:59but that shouldn't be
45:01all the time, what you need to do
45:03is
45:05you need to do something
45:07about it
45:09ask Allah, oh Allah strengthen me
45:11grant me the power to do the right thing
45:13and move
45:15Allahu Akbar
45:17so the dhikr of Allah
45:19as I was saying is what will bring about
45:21the contentment and the calmness
45:23everyone start off by reading the Quran
45:25on a daily basis, recite a portion
45:27and increase the portion on a daily
45:29basis, if you cannot recite
45:31guess what you can do, listen to the
45:33recitation, there are thousands
45:35of beautiful reciters
45:37turn it on, put on your earphones
45:39or leave it on in the house
45:41on the speakers or wherever else
45:43it is convenient for everyone
45:45and listen half an hour of the Quran
45:47twenty minutes of it, listen
45:49to the Quran attentively
45:51do you know what Allah says
45:53وَإِذَا قُرِئَ الْقُرْآنُ فَاسْتَمِعُوا لَهُ وَأَنْصِتُوا لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ
46:00if you want to have rahma
46:02that's the mercy of Allah upon you
46:04then you need to know one thing
46:06and what is it?
46:18it is the rahma, the mercy of Allah
46:21the mercy of Allah, if you want to achieve it
46:23Allah says listen
46:25attentively to the Quran
46:27when it is being recited
46:29then you will achieve the mercy of Allah
46:31don't you want the mercy of Allah? I do, you do
46:33so listen to the Quran attentively
46:35sit and listen to the words
46:37and you know what, there are so many beautiful
46:39reciters, yesterday I heard
46:41the recitation and even this morning after
46:43Fajr, I put it into my ears, who was the
46:45reciter? Haytham Ad-Dukhain
46:47you can see
46:49you can go and check it out
46:51Haytham Ad-Dukhain
46:53he is a beautiful
46:55reciter, sad reciter
46:57but really amazing, it's
46:59soothing, subhanallah
47:01so many names we don't
47:03even know, we did not know before
47:05but this is it, may Allah
47:07Almighty grant us ease
47:09so the remembrance of Allah
47:11is through the recitation of the Quran
47:13listening to the Quran and then
47:15your daily adhkar
47:17don't leave them out
47:19you know
47:29one of the most powerful statements you can say
47:31if you say it a hundred times a day
47:33you arrive on a new level
47:35of connection with Allah
47:37think about it
47:39look into its meaning, repeat it, check it
47:41and see what Allah does for you
47:43may Allah Almighty
47:45have mercy on us
47:47my dearest mothers and sisters
47:49I can't believe that 50 minutes is already up
47:51we just about started the talk
47:53but at the same time
47:55dua
47:57is something you must continue
47:59to make, repeat the same
48:01dua if you need be
48:03as many times
48:05as you want
48:07and as you can
48:09and you see the mercy of Allah
48:11try small improvements in your life
48:13here and there, and inshallah if you need help
48:15reach out for help
48:17reach out for help
48:19number one, we first ask Allah's help
48:21Allah will then
48:23help us through some of his
48:25worshippers, people will
48:27come to our assistance, maybe perhaps
48:29Allah will put it in someone's heart to say
48:31let me help this person
48:33so you ask them
48:35after having asked Allah
48:37you can then say, you know what
48:39I need this help, if they come, it's from Allah
48:41if they didn't come to help, Allah didn't
48:43want it to happen from there
48:47may Allah subhanahu
48:49wa ta'ala guide us and help us
48:51many people have suffered a lot of loss
48:53but that is the plan of Allah
48:55take it in your stride
48:57make dua, connect with Allah
48:59and like I said
49:01salah is also a great great
49:03relief
49:05when distressed
49:07when the Prophet
49:09was distressed
49:11the Prophet whenever there was something
49:13of importance that
49:15overtook him a little bit, he quickly rushed
49:17and made haste towards salah
49:19two rakat of salah
49:21and he would pray, and subhanallah
49:23he would
49:25obviously lead by example, so all of us
49:27pray
49:29your farad must be in order, be strong
49:31make sure it's in place, take your time
49:33it must be done as an honor
49:35enjoy making wudu
49:37even when you have expensive
49:39makeup
49:41enjoy washing it off
49:43for the sake of Allah
49:45enjoy
49:49cleansing yourself for the sake of
49:51Allah, and then see how
49:53Allah opens your doors one after the other
49:57when you do things for Allah
49:59who doesn't even need that
50:01do you not think Allah is going to do things for you
50:03when you're desperately in need
50:05may Allah make it easy
50:07for you, may Allah grant ease
50:09to all of us, every one of us
50:11may Allah grant our marhumeen jannatul firdaus
50:13may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
50:15make it easy for us the day we
50:17leave, the day we leave
50:19behind loved ones, may Allah make it easy
50:21for us and for them
50:23may Allah help each one of you in your
50:25responsibilities, and may Allah almighty
50:27use us all to help one another
50:29as a Muslim ummah
50:31and as humanity at large