Building Confident Generation Following Prophetic Guidance
What is happening with our Muslim youth and their confidence? What about their identity? Are Muslim parents doing the best job? How can we protect our children and raise a righteous generation?
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00:00The
00:26topic that I've been given to talk about is something that is not easy to discuss.
00:31It's something that is actually, as we get further and further into the building of the
00:35Islamic communities in the Western world, we come to understand that there are certain
00:40unique challenges that are specific to the era in which we live in.
00:45When you look at the challenges of previous generations, my parents' generation who came
00:50to this country, my mother was an Egyptian immigrant, my father was a convert to Islam,
00:54but my mother's generation who came to this country, or Sheikh Abdel Nasser Janda's parents'
00:58generation who came to this country, it's very interesting to see the needs of that
01:02generation versus the needs of the younger generation today.
01:06When you look at some of the needs of the previous generations, you have things like
01:10they were coming here for the sake of getting educated.
01:12They were coming to this part of the world because education, the institutions, universities,
01:17colleges, were a little bit better suited for them to acquire their degrees that they
01:22were seeking.
01:23As a result of coming to this country for the purpose of education, for the purpose
01:27of work and employment, they came to a place, and if you walk outside and you'll see the
01:34display that IKNA has set up where they have the first masjid in Canada, or one of the
01:38first masajid in Canada, this was actually a very legitimate concern when it came to
01:45the previous generation and their mission in life.
01:48Where are we going to pray?
01:51Where are we going to gather to come together to pray?
01:54For us, for the younger generation in Toronto or in the Western world today, our concern
02:00is not where to pray, but it's where to eat.
02:03Which halal restaurant are we going to go to?
02:05Which Nando's are we going to go to?
02:08This is such an incredible difference in priority.
02:11It's such an incredible difference in need that Sheikh Abdel Nasser would tell us stories
02:16about he remembers being a kid in Dallas, Texas.
02:20And everyone hears about Dallas, Texas these days, that mashallah Sheikh Omar is there
02:24and Sheikh Yasser Brijes is there and Sheikh Abdel Nasser is there and there's so much
02:28going on.
02:29Everyone hears about this big booming community in Dallas when Sheikh Abdel Nasser, when he
02:33tells me about his childhood, that they used to wait on Friday morning.
02:38They used to wait by the phone, and not these phones, okay, they used to wait by a phone
02:43with a cord.
02:45I know you young people don't know what a cord is, right?
02:48So a cord is something that connects two things, right?
02:51So they used to wait by the phone for what on Friday mornings?
02:54What's the day of Friday?
02:55What do we do on Fridays?
02:57Yeah, Jummah, right?
02:59They used to wait by the phone for a phone call from one of the brothers or the uncles
03:04in the community saying, we have a place to pray Jummah today.
03:09We show up to this room, in this community center, in this corner, we've rented it for
03:1415, 20, 30 minutes, please come on this time, quickly we'll pray and then we'll leave.
03:19This was the state of their masjid, this was the state of their Jummah prayer.
03:24It's remarkable.
03:25And then they graduated, he tells me these stories, and I remember even my own development,
03:30my first masjid growing up was, used to be an old car garage, used to be an old auto
03:35body workshop.
03:36I remember the doors for the masjid were those big garage doors, right?
03:40And so sheikh would tell me that then they started renting out small spaces, 500 square
03:44feet, a thousand square feet in these little retail centers.
03:50So in between a subway and a gas station was masjid, right?
03:55And this is where they used to pray.
03:57And then there was the Sunday school.
03:58How many students?
03:59One, you.
04:00Who was the teacher?
04:01Your mom, right?
04:03And that was the Sunday school.
04:05And then your cousin showed up, right?
04:08And then someone else moved to Dallas.
04:10This was how communities grew.
04:12And this was from the 80s into the 90s, you saw this very slow trickle of community building.
04:20And so the concerns of conviction, the concerns that we have today, it's not that they didn't
04:25exist back then, but you know, Abraham Maslow, he has a hierarchy of needs, right?
04:31What are our needs?
04:32And at the very bottom, we have things like oxygen, food, right?
04:36These are things that we need in order to survive.
04:38And then once we can breathe and once we can eat, then we're concerned about things like
04:42safety, right?
04:43Then we're concerned about things like temperature, warmth, cold, friends.
04:48Then we develop these higher level concerns, like social concerns, right?
04:53So the community was so concerned on being able to breathe and eat, have a place to pray,
04:58have a place to learn one day a week, that some of these deeper concerns that we see
05:03today, like seeking of Islamic knowledge, like having Islamic social spaces, like having
05:09Islamic art spaces where people who are artists and Muslims can share and grow together.
05:15It's not that they didn't exist, but they just weren't highlighted because why?
05:18We were still looking for bread.
05:21We were still looking for water, right?
05:24So now we see if you fast forward 15, 20 years, the concerns that we have are radically different.
05:32And this is a message that I think especially our beloved elders need to hear is that we
05:40deeply as young people appreciate the work that you have done to establish for us a place
05:45to be Muslim.
05:48I don't know.
05:49I do not know.
05:51If I were the one who was sent to North America in 1970 as a 20-year-old college student,
05:57I don't know if the first thing on my mind would be, I have to get a place to pray.
06:03The fact that our elders did that, it deserves our appreciation.
06:06We should make dua for them every day.
06:08But at the same time that we appreciate that, we need to understand and appreciate that
06:13there are new concerns that are actually really heavily weighing upon our community.
06:21You know, one of the things that we don't talk about in our community today, one of
06:26the concerns that's very much in the forefront is the level of crisis of doubt of faith that
06:32we have within our community.
06:35That people who are born Muslim, who are raised Muslim, who have gone through the entire Muslim
06:42curriculum of Sunday school, of weekend courses, of Jummah prayers, of Ramadan after Ramadan,
06:49have maybe even done an umrah or a hajj with their family, that when they turn 18 or 24
06:55or 26, once the familial obligation of religion has been lifted from them, now it becomes
07:01an independent choice.
07:03It's not a matter of being someone's son or daughter or brother or sister.
07:07Now it's my decision, then we shed that religion and we leave it behind us.
07:13Because we develop this resentful relationship towards it.
07:17And a lot of people in the audience right now are nodding their heads because this is
07:20something that is becoming more and more apparent and it's something that if you think about
07:23your own life and your own relationships, many of us, if not all of us, know or are
07:29related to or have a friend or maybe ourselves have been through or are going through the
07:35issue of reconciling whether or not we actually believe in this thing called Islam.
07:40And I know that to some of us that's shocking to hear that statement, do we believe in Islam?
07:45But we have to first understand that that is a legitimate question that our community
07:49is facing.
07:51And so as with any question that is so full of emotion and so full of crisis, you can
07:58imagine that when a 20-year-old son goes to his father or a 20-year-old daughter goes
08:04to her father or they go to their mother and that father or mother, their only concern
08:10in their life that they can remember was trying to have that place for Jummah on Friday.
08:16You can understand the shock when they hear their children or the young people in their
08:21community say, I don't know if I want to be Muslim anymore.
08:25You can understand, it's hard to fathom that gap because why?
08:29The elder generation says what?
08:31We worked so hard.
08:34We worked so hard.
08:36Like you just had halal Thai food in Canada, right?
08:43As a result of the hard work that we've done to build masjids and institutions and make
08:47Muslims mainstream and halal meat providers, you know, I was driving one of these roads,
08:52I gave khutbah yesterday at the Isna Masjid and we were driving and it seemed like there
08:56were more halal meat stores than gas stations.
08:59It was amazing.
09:00I was like, is this Jannah, right?
09:01I was like, am I in paradise, have I died, you know?
09:05The elder generation worked so hard to build what we call Muslim infrastructure, places
09:10to pray, places to eat, places to benefit from being Muslim and have Muslim amenities.
09:16But now we're coming to the conversation of what we call heartwork, which is we have the
09:23infrastructure around us, but what about the structures inside of us?
09:27And these are sometimes the questions that we really struggle to answer because we've
09:31been so fixated on trying to provide buildings and structures and rooms and make sure that
09:36our masjids look beautiful and that they're big enough to have a big Eid prayer and that
09:40we can have a nice full Jummah.
09:42But sometimes we can't even answer the most basic questions to our young people like,
09:46why should I believe in God?
09:48Why does God matter?
09:50This man, Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, why is it so important to know him?
09:55These are the questions that, you know, besides all of the big halls and nice food and everything,
10:01these are the questions that are really going to resonate, that are going to carry this
10:04generation forward.
10:06And so there are three things that we learn on how to have these conversations about building
10:12conviction.
10:13And by the way, I myself am a father.
10:15My wife and I have a son named Musa.
10:18He's 20 months old, right?
10:20He's one and a half years old.
10:22He's already a teenager.
10:23He talks back.
10:24You know, we'll put on Baby Shark on TV and he goes, not this, not this, right?
10:30And I kid you not, especially for people who are in the audience who are like 16 to 30,
10:36maybe you don't have kids, I want you to understand something, that this fear of raising children
10:43and having them love Allah and his messenger is a very legitimate fear.
10:48That sometimes we think that our parents are being a little bit dramatic.
10:52Why are you so worried about me praying?
10:54Why are you so worried about this?
10:55Why are you so worried?
10:56Don't worry, I'm Muslim.
10:58But whenever your kids are like as old as Musa, you start to have these really serious
11:04thoughts about what if my son, who I've named after a prophet of Allah, the most mentioned
11:11prophet in the Quran, what if he doesn't, what if he grows up not loving Allah?
11:17Who's responsible for that?
11:19And I have sleepless nights where I toss and turn.
11:23My wife and I have entire conversations where we just ask Allah to protect him and we ask
11:28Allah to make us good parents so that he grows up loving Allah.
11:32It's a big concern that parents have.
11:34So there are three things that Shaykh and I have talked about over the course of weeks
11:38and months of having these discussions.
11:41What can we do as communities, as families, to nurture this appreciation?
11:48Because what is conviction?
11:50Conviction is a fancy word for a person having certainty in something.
11:53And when does a person have certainty in something?
11:56When they know that they need it.
11:58So what can we do as communities to instill this absolute and deep appreciation of Allah
12:06and his messenger within ourselves and within our families?
12:10The first thing is actually very beautiful.
12:12And that is that we have to work on our communication.
12:16We absolutely have to work on the skill.
12:19It's not a given.
12:20It's not a right.
12:21It is a skill that must be developed.
12:25Like a jump shot.
12:26Sorry, we're in Canada.
12:27You guys don't know what basketball is.
12:28I'm joking.
12:29I'm joking.
12:30All right.
12:31Kawhi Leonard.
12:32I understand.
12:33Okay.
12:34It's like a slap shot in hockey.
12:35Okay.
12:36Right.
12:37It's like a jump shot.
12:38It's a skill that must be developed.
12:40You know, how many of us, raise your hand, if you were ever, if someone ever tried to
12:45explain something to you, and they said, you asked them why?
12:51And they said, just because.
12:53Because I said so.
12:54Anybody?
12:55Okay.
12:56You teenagers are not being honest.
12:58I know your parents have said this to you, right?
13:01Okay.
13:02Number one.
13:03They said, just because.
13:04Raise your hand if someone has ever tried to explain something to you, and you understood
13:09what they were saying, and you actually thought they were right, but the way they were doing
13:13it, you could not accept it.
13:15This happens in arguments all the time.
13:17I'll be arguing with somebody, right?
13:19And what they're saying, I get it.
13:22The point they're trying to make, I understand it.
13:24But the way they're saying it is so bad, is so hurtful, is so destructive, that the way
13:32they're saying it makes me never want to agree with them.
13:36That is called communication.
13:40Communication is not about the point that you're making, but it's about how you're making
13:44that point.
13:45So, for example, is it really that crazy to believe that there is one God?
13:50No.
13:51Absolutely not.
13:52Is it really that far-fetched and outlandish to believe that there is one God?
13:56No.
13:57But the problem when we talk about nurturing conviction within ourselves and families is
14:01not the content, it's not the substance of the message, but it's how we deliver it.
14:07And this is why yesterday, how many of you were at Jummah yesterday at Isna?
14:11How many of you were at Jummah yesterday, period?
14:13Okay, mashallah.
14:14I was kind of concerned by that first question, right?
14:17Okay?
14:18But I realize there's more masajid in Toronto, okay?
14:21That's why the khutbah that I gave yesterday, there was a very interesting point that I
14:25want all of us never to forget.
14:26The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, many, many, many, many people disagreed with
14:31him in what he was saying.
14:33Yes or no?
14:34Abu Jahl.
14:35Did he agree with the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam?
14:37Abu Lahab.
14:38Did he agree with the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam?
14:39No.
14:40There were many people in Quraysh who said, I do not agree with what you are saying.
14:45But do we have one narration where Abu Lahab or Abu Jahl or any of the people who disagreed
14:51with what he was saying, do we have one record of them saying, you know, he's right, but
14:57I just can't stand talking to that guy.
15:01Do we have one narration where they say, I don't like the way he's talking to me?
15:07No.
15:08Do we have a single narration where the people who made the Prophet their enemy, were they
15:13ever criticized his communication skills, ever?
15:17What does that show us?
15:19There are many people who don't believe in the truth because of how it was delivered
15:24to them.
15:25And there are many people who believe in falsehood because of how it was delivered to them.
15:28I mean, if you look at, subhanallah, if you look at, when I talk to young Muslims, especially
15:35those who become Christian, they convert to Christianity.
15:39There are some Christians, there are some Muslims who converted to Christianity that
15:41I know whose parents were Christians who converted to Islam.
15:47So I want you to think about this.
15:48The dad accepted Islam from Christianity, and the child became Christian after being
15:54born Muslim.
15:55And when I talk to the child, you know, we have conversations about theology.
15:59Because a lot of times we're like, let's talk about the Bible.
16:02So we start having conversations, and we both come to the conclusion, this newly converted
16:07Christian, former Muslim, we both come to the conclusion of what?
16:10We say what?
16:11Well, do you agree that there are some big questions about, you know, scriptural accuracy
16:17and historical accuracy that simply cannot be answered by the Christian tradition?
16:22And they say, yes, but the people there are so nice.
16:27And you know what?
16:29That's the end of the conversation.
16:31It shows us sometimes that we put so much emphasis on the haq, being right, what is
16:36correct, and we put very little emphasis on wa innaka la'ala khuluqin azeem.
16:42And you are, as the Prophet ﷺ was described by Allah, you are on top of good character.
16:48You own it.
16:49You are the one who is good character.
16:52It belongs to you.
16:54So when we talk about this conversation of conviction in our families, the first question
16:59we have to ask is, am I somebody who my family even wants to talk to?
17:06You know, sometimes young people come to me and they say, I started learning my deen,
17:09I started learning my religion, and I want to talk to my parents more because there are
17:14some things that are very, very wrong that they're doing, right?
17:17There are some things that are all culture, not Islam.
17:21You know, I want to get married, and my parents want me to have this big wedding, and they
17:24want me to ride an elephant into the hall, and they want to take these dollar bills and
17:27these rupees and wring it around my face, right?
17:31And I just want all Islam, no culture, man.
17:33There's no culture in Islam, which is, by the way, not a true statement.
17:36But anyways, you know, these people get really like worked up.
17:40And they say, and I say, okay, have you ever tried to have a conversation with them about
17:43how you want your wedding to be or who you want to marry or where you want to go to school?
17:47You name the topic, right?
17:49What you want to major in?
17:50My parents want me to be a doctor.
17:51Okay, what do you want to be?
17:52Not a doctor, right?
17:56No one's laughing because all the parents are like, oh, no, I don't like where this
17:58is going.
17:59Inshallah, I'll be a doctor if Allah wants me to be a doctor, inshallah, right?
18:03Some parents are like, I mean.
18:06And I ask the young people, I say, so how did you approach your parents?
18:10They say, well, my dad came home, and when he came home, he looked really tired, but
18:14I said, no, you know what?
18:15We have to talk right now.
18:16I said, I know you want me to be a doctor, but I don't want to be a doctor.
18:20I want to be a wrestler, right?
18:22Like you're something, right?
18:24And he goes, my dad got really upset.
18:26I said, well, why do you think that's the case?
18:28He said, I don't know.
18:30I said, do you think maybe you could have picked a better time?
18:32Do you think maybe you approached him in a very aggressive way?
18:35Do you think maybe you could have come to him softer?
18:37Do you think maybe there was some wisdom in waiting a little bit?
18:40Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
18:41We have to have these conversations, tough conversations right now.
18:44The truth is the truth.
18:45It doesn't matter.
18:46No, that's not the case at all.
18:48That's not the case at all.
18:50So you've been in an argument.
18:51What's the most frustrating thing in an argument?
18:55What is the most frustrating thing in an argument?
18:59It's when they win, right?
19:00No, I'm joking.
19:01Right?
19:02What is it?
19:03Yes.
19:04Okay.
19:06It's when they criticize your idea.
19:07That's pretty frustrating, right?
19:09But you're still actually way ahead of most people.
19:12At least they're hearing your idea.
19:15What's even more frustrating than having somebody criticize your idea?
19:20They don't want you to talk.
19:22They're not even listening to you.
19:24You know when the Prophet ﷺ used to recite Qur'an, what did the Quraysh used to do sometimes?
19:30They used to plug their ears.
19:32The most frustrating thing in any conversation is when you feel like the people you're talking
19:36to are not what?
19:38You're not even listening to me.
19:40You don't even care about what I have to say.
19:42You're not even hearing my concerns.
19:45You're not even giving me a chance.
19:48That's the most frustrating thing.
19:50You know what's beautiful about the Qur'an, subhanAllah, is that it tells us stories and
19:54in these stories there are so many lessons.
19:58There's a story of Ibrahim ﷺ.
20:00Ibrahim, Abul Anbiya, the father of the Prophets.
20:02Ibrahim ﷺ, he had a son Ismail and this son, this very dear son, he deeply, deeply
20:10wanted a child, wanted a son.
20:12Allah ﷻ granted him and his wife Hajar ﷺ.
20:16He granted them a son and, you know, he had to spend a long time away from them.
20:22He dropped them off in the valley of Mecca, right, where there was no water, no vegetation.
20:27He left them there.
20:28Then he came back.
20:30Then they did things together like father-son activities, like spent time together.
20:35They built the Kaaba together.
20:36Could you imagine that kind of Saturday?
20:38You wake up.
20:39You're like, hey dad, what are we going to do?
20:40He's like, we're building the Kaaba today, right?
20:42Imagine like that kind of father-son bonding, right?
20:45I remember the bonding of playing sports with my dad growing up.
20:49Could you imagine?
20:50And my bond with my dad is very close because of those memories we have together.
20:54Could you imagine the bond of you and your dad building the Kaaba together or building
20:58a masjid together?
21:00How beautiful that bond would be?
21:02So the Prophet Ibrahim loved his son Ismail very much, very much.
21:07And Allah even described Ismail as a beautiful son, like a good kid, right?
21:14The kind of son that every dad wants to have.
21:18And then Ibrahim one night has a dream.
21:22And we know that the dreams of prophets are wahi, the revelation from Allah.
21:27It's one of the ways in which Allah communicates with prophets.
21:30Sometimes he sends angels.
21:32Sometimes he communicates with them through their dreams.
21:35And he says,
21:36إني أرى في المنام أني أذبحك
21:39He says, oh my son, I saw in my dream that I have to slaughter you.
21:46I want you to understand the difficulty of him saying that statement.
21:51Why?
21:52There's a couple reasons.
21:53Number one, he loves his son.
21:55There's no parent ever wants to ever do any harm to their children.
22:02I know that a lot of children here are like, are you sure?
22:04Yes, I'm sure, right?
22:06No parent has ever wanted to do a single ounce of harm to their children ever, ever.
22:13But Ibrahim is being commanded by Allah.
22:16The second thing is that wahi is non-negotiable, meaning this isn't a matter in which Ibrahim
22:22can negotiate with Allah.
22:24Oh Allah, I know you want me to slaughter him, but can I just slaughter this sheep instead?
22:29Can I just slaughter this animal instead?
22:31Can I just substitute my, I love my son.
22:33Can I substitute him with somebody else?
22:35This is wahi from Allah.
22:36It's revelation from Allah and he's a prophet.
22:39He's been given this mission, this job to obey the revelation from Allah and to teach
22:43people this message from Allah.
22:47So he goes to his son and he says to his son,
22:50إني أرى في المنام أني أذبحك
22:53I see that in my dream I have to slaughter you.
22:56And then he says something profound.
22:58And this is the first lesson.
22:59Everyone ready for the first lesson?
23:00How to build conviction.
23:01How to build community conviction, family conviction.
23:04How to build communication.
23:06You have to value the voice of the person you're talking to.
23:10You have to shut your mouth sometimes and open your ears and you have to listen and
23:15actually care about what they're saying.
23:19He says, فانظر ماذا ترى
23:22In a situation where it is irrelevant what Ismail's opinion is.
23:28When Allah has given a command, the command must be followed.
23:32That is the truth.
23:33That is the haq.
23:35He is a prophet who has been given a command.
23:37There is no discussion, okay?
23:41In that moment, Ibrahim asks his son, فانظر ماذا ترى
23:49Tell me how you feel.
23:52Tell me how you feel.
23:54I want to know how you feel.
23:58He says to his son in a moment where how his son feels is not going to change a single
24:04thing.
24:05Tell me how you feel.
24:07Fathers, mothers, this is a big lesson.
24:13A lot of us, we walk around and say that we're doing things for our kids because we have
24:18to.
24:19But we don't do the second thing, which is listening to our kids because we should.
24:25And it doesn't matter if how our kids feel or the opinion they have about what's going
24:29on is going to impact the trajectory of our decision.
24:33It doesn't matter.
24:34What matters is that our kids know that when they talk, their voices are heard.
24:40What matters is when people communicate, they feel like we listen to them.
24:44This is a prophetic trait.
24:45It's a prophetic characteristic.
24:47The Prophet ﷺ was one of the best listeners, that when people would come to him and talk,
24:53he would not shut them down.
24:55He would not interrupt them.
24:57He would listen to what they were saying and let them know that your voice is important.
25:03Your opinion, even if it's not completely accurate, I value the fact that you feel a
25:10certain way.
25:11And what does Isma'il do?
25:12Isma'il says,
25:13يَا أَبَتِي اِفْعَلْ مَا تُؤْمَرُ
25:14O my father, do what you've been commanded.
25:18سَتَجِجُنِي إِنْشَاءَ اللَّهَ مِنَ الصَّابِدِينَ
25:21You will find me, God willing, from amongst those who have patience.
25:25If you value the voice of your children, or your family, or your spouse, you will find
25:32that when you value their voice, their voice will impress you.
25:36It will surprise you.
25:37It will give you that tranquility.
25:39Isma'il doesn't say,
25:40O my dad, this is crazy.
25:41I have to leave.
25:42O dad, this is why.
25:43I knew that something was wrong.
25:46He said,
25:47Dad, do what you've been commanded.
25:49He trusted his son, and his son delivered on his trust.
25:53This is a very important lesson in communication.
25:56The second lesson that we'll give, because I only have five minutes left, I know that
26:00I talk too long.
26:01I apologize.
26:02I should have cut the Nando story down a little bit, but wallahi, when the heart loves something,
26:05you can't stop talking about it, right?
26:08So the second point that I want us to understand as parents, especially with younger generation,
26:13or anybody really, scholars, imams, dua, whoever, it is okay to admit when you don't
26:21know something.
26:23It is okay to admit that I don't know.
26:27If my son comes to me and says, why do we have to do this in Islam, and I don't know
26:33the answer, it is okay for me to say, you know what?
26:37I've never thought about that.
26:39I've never had that question.
26:41That's a really good question.
26:43You know, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam one time was asked a question, Allah tells
26:46us in the Quran, they ask you about the soul.
26:52So people were asking the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, okay, you're telling us
26:55that there's this thing called the soul.
26:57We know that we have bodies.
26:58We know that we have limbs and organs.
27:00We know that.
27:01But you're telling us there's this hidden, invisible thing inside of us called the soul,
27:06and that that soul is what?
27:08Your Quran is telling us that it has these different states and these different things,
27:16but what is this soul?
27:17What is it?
27:18Tell us more.
27:19Allah tells the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam as a response, that this rooh that
27:31you're asking about, it is from the affair, the matter, the knowledge of my Lord.
27:38And we have not been given a lot of knowledge about it, except for a very tiny bit.
27:46We have not been given a lot of information about this soul.
27:48This is the Prophet of God telling people who are challenging and asking him, what about
27:54the soul?
27:55This is him saying, I'm the Prophet and I don't know.
27:59If the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is supposed to, in some scenarios, in some
28:03moments, in some instances, if he is supposed to say, I don't know, then what about us?
28:10And this is also a lesson, by the way, to the people who say, well, if Islam was truly
28:14the truth, it would have every single answer to every question that I've ever asked.
28:20No.
28:21Where was that condition ever set out?
28:23In fact, the Quran tells us the exact opposite.
28:26When the Quran says that the Prophet of God himself will have moments where he will not
28:30know the answer, and only Allah will know, the Quran is teaching us that not every question
28:35that the human being asks can be answered.
28:38Why?
28:39Because we are limited and God is unlimited.
28:42And limited things can never encompass unlimited things, ever.
28:47So as a parent, when your kid comes and says to you, why do I have to do this?
28:51Why do I have to do that?
28:52Instead of going to the safe answer of, because I said so, sometimes it's better to say, well,
29:02if you know the answer, give the answer.
29:04Well, Allah tells us in the Quran this, and it's better for us to do this.
29:07Why do we have to pray five times a day?
29:09Because our Prophet ﷺ tells us, and it's better to follow our Prophet ﷺ.
29:12And we want to be just like him, and we love Allah, and we want to thank Allah for everything
29:16he's given us, and the way we thank Allah is by praying to him.
29:20If that's an answer, good answer.
29:21But if it's a question you don't know the answer to, don't feel free, don't feel afraid
29:24to say what?
29:25I don't know.
29:27But then what do you do?
29:28What's the third step?
29:29So the first step is value the voice.
29:30Number two is admit when you don't know.
29:32And number three is you model how to learn, because knowledge is how conviction grows.
29:39فَاسْأَلُوا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِن كُنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
29:43Allah says, ask those who know if you don't know.
29:47Ask those who know if you are unaware.
29:50You can teach your children that if I don't know the answer to something, I need to connect
29:55more to Allah's book.
29:57I need to learn more about the life of my messenger.
29:59I need to learn more about my deen, my faith, so that I can find the answers to my problems.
30:06That the answers to my problems are not always going to be searched on Google.
30:10They're not always going to be on different websites or things that I'm looking for.
30:15Sometimes the answers to the real problems I have in life are going to be found in Allah's
30:19book and the example of his messenger.
30:22The last thing I'll say is this.
30:25The common characteristic that the Prophet ﷺ had with young people that made him so
30:31effective, was no one ever felt like they could not approach him.
30:38No one.
30:39Not one person felt like the Prophet ﷺ was either too busy, too upset, too angry, too
30:48important.
30:50No one ever felt like the Prophet ﷺ was unapproachable.
30:53This is one thing that I think if I were to say that we need to fix one characteristic
30:58in the Muslim home.
30:59What's one problem in the Muslim home that we need to fix is we need our homes to be
31:05places of love and approachability.
31:08Parents, my advice to you now.
31:11I'm from your group now.
31:12I'm a parent myself.
31:14This means that when my son is talking to me, I put my phone down.
31:19It doesn't matter if I'm doing work, something that's paying the bills, and my son wants
31:26to tell me how amazing it is that he drew a circle, which is what he did on Thursday.
31:33Baba, Baba, Baba.
31:34Yes, Musa?
31:35I drew a circle.
31:36I said, good job, Musa, right?
31:41There was actually an article that was posted recently from a university in Minnesota that
31:49did a study.
31:50They started a longitudinal study.
31:52It takes years to get actual good data, but they've started this study to test and see
31:57whether or not children believe that their parents love their phones more than their
32:01children.
32:02Obviously, if you were to answer the question, you would say no, right?
32:08But this is something that ... This is one of those things where sometimes we say things,
32:14but we don't realize that our actions are saying differently.
32:17So be approachable, be warm, be loving, let your kids know.
32:24The source of all of this conviction is to know that my kids will never ever seek an
32:31answer to a question that is important without coming to me, because they trust me and they
32:38know that I'm there for them.
32:39We ask Allah to give us happiness in our homes.
32:42We ask Allah to give us conviction in our faith.
32:44We ask Allah to not test us with things that are beyond our capacity.
32:47We ask Allah to give us the strength to be able to conquer anything that he has given
32:52us as a trial.
32:53We ask Allah to bless us in all of our matters and family endeavors.
32:56Amin, Ya Rabb al-Alamin.
32:57Jazakum Allah khayran to Ijna Canada for hosting us.
33:00Barak wa-alaikum wa-salam wa-alaikum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.