• 3 months ago
Wednesday Night Live 7 August 2024

In this episode, we explore various topics from deciding when to leave a country in unrest to handling rude behavior and the concept of gentle parenting. The discussion delves into balancing encouragement and constructive criticism for personal growth, the importance of pursuing excellence in areas of proficiency, and managing anger through nonviolent communication. Strategies for establishing boundaries with family members, self-care, and stress management are shared, along with insights on honesty, fairness, and self-reflection. The episode culminates with reflections on truth-telling, equity in relationships, and navigating interpersonal challenges, followed by announcements for upcoming shows and opportunities for audience engagement.

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Transcript
00:00:00Good evening, good evening. Welcome to your Wednesday Night Live, 7th of August, 2024.
00:00:05Let's get straight into your questions.
00:00:08You can go to fdrurl.com slash live call.
00:00:13fdrurl.com slash live call.
00:00:17If you would like to have a chitty chatty bing bang with me, with moi.
00:00:23Song quiz. You did miss it, but it was a pretty easy one.
00:00:27In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you.
00:00:35All right. Easy peasy, nice and easy.
00:00:39Thank you, Anthony. Very nice to start with a tip.
00:00:45And we did Frank Sinatra do it first.
00:00:47I know a bunch of people have done it, but he does the definitive version.
00:00:52Tony Bennett did an album of Frank Sinatra covers called Perfectly Frank,
00:00:57which I think was really good.
00:00:59But I'm not a huge fan of Tony Bennett outside of I Left My Heart in San Francisco,
00:01:03which is about as close to an angel crying in your ear as you're ever going to get on this life,
00:01:08or any other song.
00:01:10All right, let me move this over here just in case the callers look all.
00:01:17But let's get me to your questions.
00:01:20Hi, Steph. Things appear to be deteriorating quickly here in the UK.
00:01:24How will I know if or when it's time to leave the country? Many thanks.
00:01:30Are you talking about the riots, the unrest, the cultural, religious, and racial animosity?
00:01:38That's going to be put down.
00:01:42I mean, they'll use it to crack down more on free speech, and it'll all fade away.
00:01:48It's sad but true. It's sad but true.
00:01:51I mean, I obviously can't philosophically answer whether you should stay in a country or not,
00:01:56but it's all just pressure and coercion now.
00:02:03It's not about any sort of reason, arguments, or data, or facts.
00:02:07So this is why I bailed out of politics, because it just wasn't,
00:02:14Will the IRA get fired up? No. No.
00:02:18The IRA was only against British capitalism.
00:02:22They're not against what's going on now.
00:02:27No.
00:02:31Greetings from Prague. Ah, beautiful, beautiful city.
00:02:34I have often wished to tootle over to see more of Eastern Europe.
00:02:39Of course, my name is Stefan, which is very Polish,
00:02:42and of course I did a great documentary in Poland.
00:02:44You can get that at freedomain.com slash documentaries.
00:02:47You should check it out. It'd be free.
00:02:50But I absolutely adore Eastern Europe.
00:02:58I just love Eastern Europe.
00:03:00So hopefully I'll get a chance to go out there,
00:03:02and it's the kind of place where I could actually have meetups without too much violence.
00:03:11All right.
00:03:15So that was a question there. Let's see if we've got any others.
00:03:24What to do about people who talk at you rather than with you?
00:03:27Let's say you tell someone your life story,
00:03:29and they simply step all over what you said, and they never ask you any questions.
00:03:35Well, make your excuses and get out.
00:03:39Make your excuses and get out.
00:03:42You know, I have a three-minute rule.
00:03:45I'm happy to ask people questions.
00:03:47If they don't ask me anything back in three minutes, give or take, peace out.
00:03:51You know, good luck with your narcissistic, solipsistic life,
00:03:54but I'm going to spend some time with people who have ears as well as mouths.
00:04:01So, yeah, just don't—I wouldn't have anything to do—you can't fix that in someone.
00:04:08You know, you just have to really look at politeness and basic civility, right?
00:04:14Somebody who was raised with that level of narcissism, that level of selfishness,
00:04:18they're just never going to be interesting or interested in other people.
00:04:22It's all about them, and that goes all the way back to the roots of childhood.
00:04:27What if they're your co-worker?
00:04:29Oh, just say, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for an emergency broadcast, and put your headphones in.
00:04:37Or, you know, just say, if we're going to chat, like I'm really busy today,
00:04:41if we're going to chat, let's do it at lunch and then just avoid them.
00:04:44Like, you don't have to be polite to rude people.
00:04:47It's a foundational thing in life.
00:04:48Don't feel helpless in the face of rude people.
00:04:51Rude people have earned no social consideration whatsoever.
00:04:56Rude people rely on polite people being weak.
00:05:03Just be rude.
00:05:04They've not earned any politeness from you.
00:05:08I mean, you've seen me in interviews.
00:05:10If somebody really starts to get shirty or crappy with me, rude,
00:05:17it's like, I'll send it right back.
00:05:22Why?
00:05:23Don't extend courtesy to the uncourteous.
00:05:29Courtesy is something that, courtesy, politeness, niceness,
00:05:32that's something you earn by being a courteous and respectful person yourself.
00:05:39Right?
00:05:42That's what you get.
00:05:43That's why we are polite, so that we can reasonably expect politeness in return.
00:05:48If somebody is just blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:50My daughter calls her the yappers.
00:05:52She's just a yapper.
00:05:53If someone's just a yapper, there's yap, yap, yap.
00:05:57You don't owe them any politeness.
00:06:02You don't owe them any politeness at all.
00:06:04You can be completely rude to people who are self-absorbed, selfish,
00:06:10not polite themselves.
00:06:12Morality is a relationship.
00:06:14It is not an absolute.
00:06:17Morality is a relationship.
00:06:19Certainly, aesthetically preferable actions.
00:06:27You only owe being on time to people who are on time.
00:06:29You only owe politeness to people who are polite.
00:06:31You only owe consideration to people who are considerate.
00:06:35Otherwise, everybody's worried, oh, counterfeit money, fiat currency,
00:06:39the vad printing, goes the money printer.
00:06:41Right?
00:06:42It's like, well, but most people fear, they counterfeit rewards for virtue.
00:06:48They just print it up.
00:06:50Oh, I'll treat you as great even if you're not great.
00:06:53So if you're polite, I'll be polite to you, and if you're rude,
00:06:55I'll be polite to you.
00:06:57Nope.
00:06:58I don't think that's right.
00:07:01That's just not right.
00:07:04You know, if you pay for your iPad, I'll ship it to you.
00:07:06If you don't pay for your iPad, I'll just ship it to you.
00:07:08Like the entire functional economy could not work on the basis of that
00:07:12kind of subsidy.
00:07:18Rude people are relying upon you thinking that politeness is a weakness
00:07:24you have to extend to bullies.
00:07:26No.
00:07:27Politeness is a reward you extend to polite people.
00:07:31Reasonableness is a reward you extend to the reasonable.
00:07:35It is not a blank check you hand over like your balls to all and sundry.
00:07:43Don't reward selfish, rude, mean, inconsiderate people.
00:07:47Reward them.
00:07:50Avoid them.
00:07:52If you've got to lie to them, if you've got to make excuses,
00:07:54you owe them nothing.
00:07:56Nothing.
00:07:57Well, justice.
00:07:58You owe them justice.
00:07:59Pay people what they deserve.
00:08:05All right.
00:08:06Steph, any tips on how to deal with non-technical people who act like
00:08:09they know it all even though they have no technical qualifications?
00:08:16I mean, at work.
00:08:19At work?
00:08:23Well, the best way to deal with know-it-alls is humiliation.
00:08:30And I don't mean that you humiliate them.
00:08:32You just allow them to humiliate themselves.
00:08:36You just allow them to humiliate themselves.
00:08:48So if you're in a public meeting and somebody says something false,
00:08:55just say, oh, that's interesting.
00:08:56Tell me more.
00:08:58Oh, what does that mean?
00:08:59Oh, where does that come from?
00:09:00Oh, what's the source of that?
00:09:01What operating systems does that run on?
00:09:02Is that 32-bit or 64-bit?
00:09:05Is that an integer or a floating point or a decimal?
00:09:07Is it long?
00:09:09Oh, that's interesting.
00:09:10Would you put that in a VARCHAR or would you put that in a more
00:09:13defined variable?
00:09:15Oh, what kind of array?
00:09:16Would you bubble sort that array or how would you do that?
00:09:22Just keep asking questions until their ignorance is exposed,
00:09:26and then they'll stop doing it.
00:09:29Like, you understand, most people you have to train.
00:09:33Most people will just do whatever they can get away with,
00:09:35and you have to build little fences around them of emotional,
00:09:38just a little emotional, you know, those little dog collars,
00:09:41just a little emotional negative experiences so they stop screwing
00:09:44around with your life.
00:09:45That's what you got to do with people, for the most part, not all,
00:09:47not all, and you don't want that.
00:09:49As much as you cannot have that in your life, don't have it in your life,
00:09:52but, you know, if you're stuck with people.
00:09:55You've got a salesman who's like, I remember when I worked in my first
00:09:59job as a programmer, there was a trader, and this is back when having
00:10:04two screens was like having a space shuttle, and he was like,
00:10:08so I built this neural net in Excel.
00:10:10It's a neural net.
00:10:11I'm like, oh, tell me what is a neural net?
00:10:14Well, it's these cells, they communicate to each other,
00:10:18and I'm like, so like Excel, but how is it a neural net?
00:10:24Well, the data flows from one place to another and it balances,
00:10:30and I'm like, is that based on the equations you typed into the cells?
00:10:33Yes.
00:10:36So that's Excel.
00:10:37I'm still not sure how that's different from a neural net,
00:10:39and I'm not sure about the definition.
00:10:40Well, it's complicated.
00:10:42Oh, so it's a lot of cells.
00:10:45What number of cells do you need for it to become a neural net?
00:10:48Is it 1,000, 500, 10,000?
00:10:50Tell me how many.
00:10:53I read the phrase neural net.
00:10:56I read the phrase neural net, and therefore I'm going to use it.
00:11:04Most people are faking knowledge.
00:11:08They are.
00:11:09They're just going through life faking knowledge.
00:11:14They're faking knowledge about politics, economics, virtue, truth,
00:11:19honesty, integrity, courage, relationships, love, honor, decency.
00:11:26They're just faking it all.
00:11:27This is all the way back to Socrates, right?
00:11:29Just faking it all.
00:11:32Faking it all.
00:11:35I can't let the five seconds my eyes rested on that nerd magazine go to waste.
00:11:40Yeah, they're just making it up.
00:11:43You can see the puffed-up pompery of people, right?
00:11:49It's wretched.
00:11:52Absolutely wretched.
00:11:55All right.
00:11:58Any other questions, comments, issues, challenges, disagreements?
00:12:05I've got, obviously, some stuff to chitty-chat about.
00:12:12One of this is from August 2nd on X.
00:12:17On X.
00:12:20This was probably one of the biggest tweets, around 42 million views,
00:12:2520,000 comments.
00:12:28I think it even outstripped my Taylor Swift dino egg hunt.
00:12:33And it's from Nick Huber.
00:12:36Huber?
00:12:38And it's a picture of a sad-looking boy?
00:12:41I think it's a boy.
00:12:42It's a sad-looking boy.
00:12:44And he says, this kid saved up all week for an ice cream.
00:12:47Spent $5.
00:12:48Dropped it after the fifth lick.
00:12:51I didn't buy him another one.
00:12:52Life is hard.
00:12:53He took it well.
00:12:55Life is hard.
00:12:56He took it well.
00:13:00What do you guys think?
00:13:02Let me give you the post here so you can see it.
00:13:09You can eyeball it for yourself.
00:13:14While you're doing that.
00:13:16Oh, let me put it in one other place as well.
00:13:20Let me put it to another place as well.
00:13:23Where we are with the stream of liveliness.
00:13:28But you can have a look at that.
00:13:30How do you deal with the fear that rude people might retaliate
00:13:32when you expose their incompetence publicly?
00:13:41Well, if you're not willing to escalate, don't get involved in conflicts.
00:13:47So you document.
00:13:48You just document.
00:13:50People genuinely and generally underestimate the value of documenting things.
00:13:59So if someone retaliates, then you document it, right?
00:14:07And if somebody, I don't know, does something kind of mean,
00:14:10you document it and you go and talk to them about it.
00:14:12And you talk to them about it in a public place.
00:14:14You talk about it with them loudly.
00:14:15I didn't understand why this happened.
00:14:17Can you help me understand this?
00:14:18Do it loudly around their cubicle.
00:14:23And they might.
00:14:24And they might get you fired.
00:14:26They might get you fired.
00:14:28Why can't I tell you?
00:14:29All conflict has risk.
00:14:33But all appeasement has risk.
00:14:38So if somebody is incompetent and they're –
00:14:43first of all, who cares, right?
00:14:44I mean, if it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, right?
00:14:46Who cares, right?
00:14:47But if it matters and if it's important to you as a person
00:14:49and as a company, if it matters,
00:14:52then you would want to expose that person.
00:14:56Do it mildly.
00:14:57You don't grind them all the way to Adams.
00:14:59Just a little bit of shot across their bows.
00:15:01Oh, I didn't know that.
00:15:02It's a neural net?
00:15:03What do you mean by neural net?
00:15:04I don't understand.
00:15:05How is that different?
00:15:06And then just let it go.
00:15:07And what you've done is you just put a shot across their bows.
00:15:09You don't have to take someone all the way to the woodshed
00:15:12the first time there's a conflict, right?
00:15:14Just a little bit more, right?
00:15:15And if they then start retaliating against you,
00:15:18well, then you have a fight on your hands.
00:15:21And what's wrong with that?
00:15:23Because you either fight with people who are jerks
00:15:25or you fight with yourself for not fighting with people who are jerks.
00:15:28There's no escape from the conflict.
00:15:30None.
00:15:32You either end up in combat with jerks
00:15:35or you end up with combat with yourself
00:15:38for being cowardly regarding jerks.
00:15:40There's no good answer when you've got a jerk around.
00:15:43That's why I tend not to have jerks around as a whole, right?
00:15:45It's no good answer.
00:15:46You either get into a conflict with them
00:15:48or you get mad at yourself for not getting into conflict with them.
00:15:52I prefer to not get down on myself
00:15:57but rather get in conflict with others.
00:16:00I mean, obviously, I'm critical of myself
00:16:02and want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.
00:16:06Appeasement is the belief that there is a non-conflict resolution
00:16:12to a conflict situation.
00:16:15I mean, how did that work out with Chamberlain in Czechoslovakia?
00:16:19Check out my free novel, Almost, available at freedomain.com.
00:16:23Please check it out.
00:16:24It's a great, great book and the audio book is pretty spectacular.
00:16:33When you have a conflict with someone,
00:16:36you either deal with that conflict.
00:16:37Hopefully, you can deal with it positively.
00:16:39Hopefully, you can deal with it nicely.
00:16:40Hopefully, you can whatever, right?
00:16:43You have a conflict with someone.
00:16:45You either deal with that conflict directly
00:16:48or you avoid and then you're just set against yourself, right?
00:17:02All right.
00:17:04Seems like a slow show tonight.
00:17:07No, it doesn't seem like it is.
00:17:09I've had like two questions, no tips.
00:17:12But that's all right.
00:17:13Hey, that's totally fine.
00:17:14If people aren't too into it tonight, we can just have a short show.
00:17:17So, yes, with regards to the guy,
00:17:22I don't particularly believe the story.
00:17:25The kid saved all week for an ice cream,
00:17:27spent five dollars, dropped it after the fifth lick.
00:17:30Now, this kid looks to be about four.
00:17:32Now, four is a little too young for you.
00:17:35You dropped your ice cream.
00:17:37Therefore, you're out of ice cream.
00:17:39Now, I don't particularly believe this story
00:17:45because they're still in the ice cream store, it looks like.
00:17:48Are they?
00:17:50Maybe.
00:17:52But after the fifth lick.
00:17:53So, when little kids get ice creams, they lick it right away.
00:17:58And so, if this kid is still in the ice cream store,
00:18:03if he's just on his fifth lick and he drops it,
00:18:06what is the ice cream store going to do?
00:18:07They're going to say, oh, here's another ice cream.
00:18:09That's fine.
00:18:10Don't worry about it.
00:18:11We'll clean it up.
00:18:12Because they want the kid to be happy, right?
00:18:14I mean, anybody who's worked customer service knows
00:18:17that if the kid drops the ice cream, you give him another ice cream.
00:18:20Maybe it's not quite as large or whatever it is, right?
00:18:24So, he's on his fifth lick, he drops the ice cream,
00:18:27which means that the store is noticing and says,
00:18:31oh, that's too, because they've got to clean up the ice cream.
00:18:33Fifth lick means he's still in the store, right?
00:18:35Because kids get the ice cream, they immediately dive in.
00:18:37As the father, as, I guess, the kid's paying or whatever, right?
00:18:40So, five licks, he's still in the store,
00:18:42so they have to clean up the ice cream, they see him drop the ice cream,
00:18:45and they say, have a new ice cream.
00:18:48That happens, have a new ice cream, right?
00:19:02So, Nick Huber says, they offered him a freebie and I declined it.
00:19:05Community Notes now says,
00:19:07Nick Huber later claimed that no freebie was offered
00:19:09and implied the statement was made for engagement.
00:19:21So, he saved up all week,
00:19:24he has multiple opportunities to earn dollars at the age of four.
00:19:28I mean, that's terrible.
00:19:30Four-year-olds earning money and so on, right?
00:19:33That's crazy.
00:19:35So, this is...
00:19:37I mean, to me, I don't know this guy or whatever,
00:19:39but this to me would just be engagement farming,
00:19:41to say something outrageous so people get all riled up.
00:19:48We'll miss the education live, but we'll hear it tomorrow.
00:19:51Thank you, I appreciate that.
00:20:00But no, don't have your kid drop an ice cream
00:20:03and then not give him the love.
00:20:08All right, have you heard of this thing called gentle parenting?
00:20:13Boy, gentle parenting.
00:20:19Because Dr. Camilo Ortiz, I don't know who that is,
00:20:23this got almost 550,000 views again from August 2nd,
00:20:27says, my career can basically be summed up
00:20:29as trying to fix the damage caused by gentle parenting.
00:20:33My field has foisted this abomination on the general public
00:20:36and it's awful.
00:20:39So, that's...
00:20:42that's interesting.
00:20:46So, Jessica Vaughn writes,
00:20:48I don't know why it's so hard for people to find a balance
00:20:50between not traumatizing their kids and permitting them to grow up
00:20:52and be absolutely unlikable to their peers.
00:20:56And Dr. Camilo Ortiz writes back,
00:21:00in part because my field has been giving well-meaning parents
00:21:03terrible parenting advice.
00:21:05Parents think we're experts, so they listen.
00:21:10And someone else writes,
00:21:12I once babysat for a mom who told me I wasn't allowed
00:21:14to use the word no with her daughter.
00:21:17Her daughter was very violent.
00:21:18When she hit me or pulled my hair,
00:21:20I had to give her other options to express her anger,
00:21:22not tell her to stop.
00:21:24The mom was a child psychologist.
00:21:31Ah.
00:21:34And she says,
00:21:35immigrant parents generally have not lost their sanity.
00:21:37I count myself among them.
00:21:42So, gentle parenting, what,
00:21:44is never correcting your kids,
00:21:45never saying no,
00:21:46never giving them any standards of behavior,
00:21:48never having any requirements.
00:21:50I don't know, gentle parenting?
00:21:51It just seems lazy parenting.
00:21:52It just seems very, very lazy parenting.
00:21:56But it's kind of like,
00:21:57way back in the day,
00:21:58we got into a bunch of conflict on the show
00:21:59about nonviolent communication.
00:22:03And I had my issues with it,
00:22:05to put it mildly.
00:22:13Hmm.
00:22:15I was talking with a fellow today
00:22:18who, he was 40 and already wealthy
00:22:21by the time he got together with his wife,
00:22:23who was almost 30.
00:22:24He was almost 40 and had made it.
00:22:26And his wife was complaining
00:22:30that he was not emotionally available.
00:22:32He's just not sensitive.
00:22:34He's just not emotionally available.
00:22:36He just doesn't have the kind of conversations
00:22:39that she wants to have.
00:22:41Have you heard this,
00:22:42emotionally unavailable stuff?
00:22:51Um.
00:22:54Yeah, James, I won't do that now.
00:22:57I'll just see if there are any,
00:22:59let me see if there are any calls.
00:23:01But if you ever had this,
00:23:03emotionally available,
00:23:04want to be emotionally available,
00:23:05got to be emotionally available,
00:23:06as a man.
00:23:07As a man.
00:23:09You ever hear these complaints?
00:23:11I find them very funny.
00:23:13I find them very funny.
00:23:22You've heard this trope before, right?
00:23:24I just listened to three episodes on NVC.
00:23:27Do you have any ideas on why this topic
00:23:28often leads to passive aggression?
00:23:30Yes, I do, I do.
00:23:32We'll get to that in a sec.
00:23:33So, why is it that men are not,
00:23:37let's say that this complaint is true.
00:23:38Let's just say,
00:23:39for the sake of argument,
00:23:40men are not emotionally available.
00:23:43Why do you think men
00:23:44are not emotionally available?
00:23:46Why do you think men
00:23:48are not emotionally available
00:23:50in the way that women want or like?
00:23:52Or at least some women, right?
00:23:56Why, why do you think?
00:24:07Why do you think men
00:24:09are emotionally unavailable?
00:24:10It also seems to be the case
00:24:12that the men who are the most successful
00:24:16are often complained,
00:24:17the women often complained
00:24:18that the men are emotionally unavailable
00:24:20and the more successful the man,
00:24:21the more emotionally unavailable
00:24:23the woman will often complain that he is.
00:24:32I find it funny.
00:24:36Men get it used against them?
00:24:39No, I mean, I hear what you're saying
00:24:41and I don't think that's it fundamentally.
00:24:42All right.
00:24:44Have you ever played poker?
00:24:46Have you ever played
00:24:48a really hard, challenging,
00:24:50sometimes one-on-one sport
00:24:53or been heavily involved in negotiations
00:24:55and so on?
00:24:56So, you understand, for a man,
00:24:59for a man,
00:25:00you cannot be, in general,
00:25:02both successful and emotionally available
00:25:06at the same time.
00:25:12You cannot be
00:25:15both emotionally available
00:25:17and successful.
00:25:19So, there's an old story
00:25:21of two tennis players,
00:25:23Andre Agassi and Bjorn Borg
00:25:25or something like that.
00:25:26And Bjorn Borg had a tell.
00:25:28Like, if he was going to serve to the left,
00:25:30his tongue would go to the left.
00:25:32If he was going to serve to the right,
00:25:33his tongue would go to the right a little bit.
00:25:35And Andre Agassi,
00:25:36I think it was him,
00:25:37figured this out
00:25:38and then, obviously,
00:25:39didn't want to always
00:25:42return perfectly
00:25:44because Bjorn Borg's serve
00:25:46was clocked at near light speed.
00:25:48It was a near C serve.
00:25:50And so, you had no time to react.
00:25:52You had to basically guess
00:25:53where the ball was going to be
00:25:57before he served it
00:25:58or before he really started blasting it
00:26:00because you didn't have enough time to react.
00:26:02So, he let some go by
00:26:03but he gave him just enough of an edge
00:26:05that he was able to win some matches
00:26:06against the famously wild,
00:26:08well, famously powerful serve,
00:26:10Bjorn Borg.
00:26:11Arthur Ashe also had one.
00:26:13Jimmy Connors had a good serve as well.
00:26:14But Andre Agassi
00:26:16figured out Bjorn Borg's.
00:26:17So, Bjorn Borg had a tell, right?
00:26:19And you always look for this in negotiations, right?
00:26:22In The Man in Full,
00:26:24the Tom Wolfe novel,
00:26:25the guy who's getting ground down by his bank,
00:26:28he gets saddlebags
00:26:30where he's sweating so much
00:26:31that, you know,
00:26:32he's got big armpit stains.
00:26:33That's his tell.
00:26:34He's got a tell.
00:26:35So, as a man,
00:26:36you cannot be
00:26:38successful in negotiations,
00:26:40successful in combat with other men,
00:26:43and be emotionally available
00:26:45at the same time.
00:26:46So, it's almost kind of funny to me
00:26:49that
00:26:51men want women,
00:26:52you know, the sexy librarian,
00:26:55she takes off the glasses,
00:26:56shakes down her hair,
00:26:57and suddenly she's like Scarlett Johansson
00:26:58or something like that.
00:26:59The men want this absolute hottie
00:27:02who has no idea that she's a hottie,
00:27:04and the women want a successful man
00:27:06who's completely emotionally available.
00:27:08It's like, you can't have these things.
00:27:11I'm sorry.
00:27:12If you want a man with money,
00:27:14he's not going to be
00:27:16wearing his heart on his sleeve
00:27:18because you can't make money
00:27:19if you're wearing your heart on your sleeve.
00:27:25You follow, right?
00:27:27Yes, and women of previous generations
00:27:36chose them to be this way.
00:27:38So, if you want a man
00:27:39who's strong and successful,
00:27:41you get a man
00:27:42who's not emotionally available.
00:27:44Whatever.
00:27:45I'm not even sure what that means,
00:27:47but a man has to go out there
00:27:51and win against other men.
00:27:55We have to win against other men
00:27:57and sometimes women.
00:28:01So, if you want a man
00:28:02who's really, really, really, really, really
00:28:05empathetic,
00:28:06you're going to get a man
00:28:07who loses a whole lot.
00:28:16You're going to get a man
00:28:17who loses a lot
00:28:18if he's very empathetic.
00:28:20I mean, can you imagine a man
00:28:22trains for 10 years
00:28:23to run sprints in the Olympics
00:28:24and then he's about to win
00:28:25and he feels bad for the guy behind him.
00:28:27He's like, no, no, no, after you, please.
00:28:29And then the other guy is like,
00:28:30no, no, no, after you, please.
00:28:32I don't want to take your victory.
00:28:33And then the third guy is like,
00:28:35now I feel bad about taking it.
00:28:37And no, everybody just stands around
00:28:40three inches from the finish line
00:28:42until they're all dead.
00:28:47No, screw the guy behind me.
00:28:49I'm winning.
00:28:51I mean, I didn't get to the top
00:28:52of my profession
00:28:53by being overly sensitive
00:28:55to other people wanting listeners.
00:28:57I'm like, I'm taking all the listeners.
00:28:59I'm going to take them all
00:29:01by the hair.
00:29:05So in order for men to win
00:29:07against other men,
00:29:09we have to have very tight control
00:29:11over our empathy.
00:29:14Over our empathy.
00:29:21It's the old thing throughout history.
00:29:23The child of an enemy dies.
00:29:27And the women are sad that a child died.
00:29:30And the men are happy
00:29:32that the child didn't grow up to be
00:29:34a future enemy.
00:29:36So it's just different.
00:29:37And there's nothing wrong
00:29:38with both perspectives.
00:29:39I think they're very interesting
00:29:40and it's fine.
00:29:41And you need the yin-yang balance
00:29:43and vive la différence
00:29:44and all these kinds of wonderful things.
00:29:47But you've got to be emotionally available.
00:29:50What percentage of her income
00:29:52are you willing to give up
00:29:53so that I can be
00:29:54emotionally available?
00:29:59Oh my gosh.
00:30:02What percentage of income, honey,
00:30:04do you want to give up
00:30:06so that I can be
00:30:07emotionally available?
00:30:09Well, no, no, no.
00:30:10I don't want you to...
00:30:11I don't want to give up any income.
00:30:12Okay.
00:30:14So you can afford
00:30:16to be emotionally available
00:30:17because you're designed to
00:30:18deal with babies and toddlers.
00:30:19I have to be a little cold-hearted
00:30:21because I have to compete
00:30:22with other men
00:30:23who don't have a lot of empathy.
00:30:26Somebody says,
00:30:27I feel like you're talking about me.
00:30:28I always feel bad about the other guy
00:30:29and then I end up losing.
00:30:31Right.
00:30:33Yeah, stop it.
00:30:36That's...
00:30:37I'm not calling you a parasite.
00:30:38That mindset is parasitical.
00:30:41That mindset is parasitical.
00:30:45Because we rely on excellence
00:30:49in everything we do
00:30:50in our daily life.
00:30:52You require excellence
00:30:53in the gasoline
00:30:54you put in your car.
00:30:55Otherwise, it's going to
00:30:56clog up your car.
00:30:57It's got a bunch of sugar in it.
00:30:58It's going to kill your car.
00:31:01You want excellence
00:31:04in the quality of the food
00:31:05that you get.
00:31:06You don't want there to be
00:31:07salmonella or botulism
00:31:09or anything like that.
00:31:11You want excellence
00:31:13You want excellence
00:31:14in the provision of your
00:31:15internet service
00:31:16and your cell phone service.
00:31:17You want excellence
00:31:18in the reliability
00:31:19of your electricity.
00:31:20You want excellence
00:31:21in all these things.
00:31:24And excellence means
00:31:25excluding the losers
00:31:26from control
00:31:27of the means of production.
00:31:29Keeping the incompetent
00:31:30and the losers
00:31:31away from the handles
00:31:32of the levers
00:31:33of the means of production.
00:31:36I want this camera to work.
00:31:38I want this microphone to work.
00:31:39I want this keyboard,
00:31:40computer, monitor,
00:31:42amp, recorder,
00:31:44everything.
00:31:45I want it to work
00:31:46and I want it to work
00:31:47flawlessly.
00:31:50And in return,
00:31:51I will try to do
00:31:52a good job myself
00:31:53in what I do.
00:31:57So, if you're like,
00:31:59oh no, let the loser win.
00:32:02That's the end of civilization.
00:32:04I'm not kidding about that.
00:32:06Do you like things to work?
00:32:07Then the losers can't win.
00:32:09Do you get annoyed
00:32:10when things don't work?
00:32:11Then the losers can't win.
00:32:13Right?
00:32:15Do you get annoyed
00:32:17when politicians
00:32:18give juicy contracts
00:32:24to their friends and relatives?
00:32:27No.
00:32:28You want the best person to win.
00:32:34All of our evolution,
00:32:35all of our progress,
00:32:36has been the result
00:32:38of a commitment to excellence
00:32:40and tough titties to the losers.
00:32:44Sorry,
00:32:45tough titties to the losers.
00:32:46I know, yeah,
00:32:47the losers are sad,
00:32:48so what?
00:32:49So what?
00:32:51Can you power your house
00:32:52with loser sadness?
00:32:56Can you heat your home
00:32:57with loser sadness?
00:32:58Can you shake loser sadness
00:33:00like spice over your cell phone
00:33:03and have the screen repair itself?
00:33:04You cannot.
00:33:07And people who are doing
00:33:10the wrong thing,
00:33:11who are in the wrong field,
00:33:13should experience loser sadness
00:33:15so they can get
00:33:16to the right field
00:33:17where they will be happy
00:33:18and successful.
00:33:27You know,
00:33:28when you get those injections
00:33:29in your gums,
00:33:30you got a cavity to fix
00:33:32or something,
00:33:33do you want that
00:33:34to just be kind of okay
00:33:35or, you know,
00:33:36do you want to get
00:33:37tooth drill agony
00:33:38or, look,
00:33:39you want it to work,
00:33:40you want it to be successful,
00:33:41which means
00:33:42you don't want the guy
00:33:43who's bad at anesthetic
00:33:44to deliver the anesthetic.
00:33:46You don't want to have
00:33:47too much
00:33:48and you don't want to have
00:33:49too little,
00:33:50it's got to be just right.
00:33:55You're helping people
00:33:57out of unproductive occupations
00:34:01when you decisively win
00:34:03against them losing.
00:34:07You know,
00:34:08when I was in my mid-teens,
00:34:10I started a garage band
00:34:11and screeched away
00:34:12with my vocals
00:34:13into the microphone.
00:34:14It was not my thing.
00:34:15I like to sing a little,
00:34:16but I'm not much of a singer,
00:34:17so it's not really my thing.
00:34:18So they should have
00:34:19better people out there
00:34:20doing that.
00:34:21Absolutely.
00:34:27So it helped shove,
00:34:28and I didn't mind acting,
00:34:30I thought I was okay at acting,
00:34:31I mean,
00:34:32obviously it was top tier
00:34:33insofar as I got into
00:34:34the National Theater School,
00:34:35which takes
00:34:37like 1% of the applicants.
00:34:40I was pretty good at it,
00:34:42but I have too many
00:34:43of my own words
00:34:44to spend the rest of my life
00:34:45mouthing the platitudes
00:34:46written by socialist others.
00:34:48It's not my thing.
00:34:50It's not my thing.
00:34:53I prefer live streaming
00:34:54to recording
00:34:55because it feels more
00:34:56connected and communicated with.
00:34:59Yeah, I had a friend of mine
00:35:01wrote an entire rock opera.
00:35:02It sat in his drawer,
00:35:03and it will never get produced.
00:35:05And it shouldn't be
00:35:06because it wasn't that good.
00:35:13Have you tried not sucking?
00:35:15Right.
00:35:20So all of the people
00:35:22who said those magical words,
00:35:24you suck,
00:35:26the three words
00:35:27that just help you the most
00:35:28in your life,
00:35:30they helped guide me
00:35:31to what I'm doing now.
00:35:34Wonderful.
00:35:37I was a solid good coder
00:35:39with a great deal of creativity,
00:35:41but there are other genius coders
00:35:42who were way better
00:35:43than me at coding.
00:35:44Now, I had a good combo
00:35:45of sales and marketing
00:35:46and business smarts
00:35:47and economics and all of that,
00:35:48but...
00:35:55Actually, no,
00:35:56I was pretty good on coding.
00:35:57I was pretty good at coding,
00:35:58but there are certainly
00:35:59better people, right?
00:36:00I think I'm sort of top tier
00:36:01when it comes to doing
00:36:02this kind of stuff.
00:36:04Because if I had a realm
00:36:05I was better at or in,
00:36:07I would move to that realm.
00:36:09I think I've kind of hit my peak.
00:36:10Here we go, right?
00:36:11Here we go, hit my peak.
00:36:13Am I a weightlifting guy?
00:36:14No, look at those
00:36:15anemic little British muscles.
00:36:19Well, no steroids,
00:36:20what can I tell you?
00:36:23So you're not helping people
00:36:25by feeling bad for them
00:36:27when they fail.
00:36:30That indicates
00:36:33that you did not receive comfort
00:36:37and you're dragging around
00:36:40a saltwater-soaked
00:36:43broken heart inside you
00:36:45like a deep bell
00:36:48tumbling in the inky depths.
00:36:50You have a deep sadness
00:36:51inside of you
00:36:52because you weren't comforted
00:36:53as a child
00:36:56and because you have
00:36:57a deep sadness within you
00:36:58because you weren't comforted
00:36:59as a child,
00:37:00you want to go around
00:37:01comforting everyone
00:37:03because you think that
00:37:04by comforting other people,
00:37:06you'll feel better about
00:37:07not being comforted as a child.
00:37:09This will not happen.
00:37:13All you will do
00:37:15is keep people
00:37:22in fields they are ill-suited for.
00:37:26Now, you also
00:37:28probably are not close
00:37:29to your father
00:37:31because women
00:37:33are supposed to be
00:37:35blindly encouraging.
00:37:37Yay!
00:37:38Good job!
00:37:39Yay!
00:37:40Well done!
00:37:41Yes, women are supposed
00:37:42to be blindly encouraging
00:37:43because they're babies
00:37:44and toddlers.
00:37:45They're raising babies
00:37:46and toddlers.
00:37:48And you want to be
00:37:49blindly encouraging
00:37:50so that the kid
00:37:51has a basic sense
00:37:52of competence
00:37:53because all the stuff
00:37:54that babies and toddlers
00:37:55are learning
00:37:56is not differentiated.
00:37:58Right?
00:37:59He learned how to roll over.
00:38:00Well, everyone's got to
00:38:01do that, especially Beethoven.
00:38:02Right?
00:38:03Oh, he learned how to sit up.
00:38:04Well, everyone's got to do that.
00:38:05Oh, learned how to
00:38:06crawl.
00:38:07Got to do that.
00:38:08Learned how to scooch.
00:38:09Got to do that.
00:38:10Learned how to
00:38:11crawl on his hands and knees.
00:38:12Go walk like a horse.
00:38:13Learned how to
00:38:14stand, walk.
00:38:15Right?
00:38:16Learned how to run.
00:38:17Learned basic language.
00:38:18Everyone's got to do that
00:38:19and they can't differentiate.
00:38:20Well, you know,
00:38:21you're better at
00:38:24crawling,
00:38:26so you don't crawl.
00:38:28No crawling for you,
00:38:29but you're really good at that,
00:38:30so I'm going to get behind you.
00:38:31Right?
00:38:32Because women
00:38:33are encouraging
00:38:34all of the basic skills
00:38:36that everyone needs,
00:38:37so they have to be enthusiastic
00:38:38about everyone
00:38:39and they can't differentiate.
00:38:41However,
00:38:42when the kids drift over
00:38:44to the asshole land
00:38:45of skeptical boys,
00:38:46men,
00:38:47right?
00:38:48Girls are all,
00:38:49Yay!
00:38:50Good job!
00:38:51Men are like,
00:38:52You suck!
00:38:53That pose!
00:38:54That was terrible!
00:38:55Oh my God,
00:38:56how awful!
00:38:57Right?
00:38:58No, no, no,
00:38:59that's no good.
00:39:00That's no good, no.
00:39:01Whatever you're doing,
00:39:02don't do that.
00:39:03Right?
00:39:04Right?
00:39:05I mean,
00:39:06and I've gone through,
00:39:07because I've had
00:39:08this rare opportunity
00:39:09to...
00:39:10Oh, don't ask me.
00:39:13Don't get me started
00:39:14on what
00:39:15the Daily Wire
00:39:16monetizes.
00:39:17But,
00:39:20it's all
00:39:21Yay!
00:39:22Yay!
00:39:23positivity
00:39:24from the moms
00:39:25and then,
00:39:26after the basic skills
00:39:27of walking and talking
00:39:28and running
00:39:29and some basic morals
00:39:30of sharing
00:39:31and don't grab
00:39:32and like,
00:39:33after all of those
00:39:34basic skills
00:39:35are done
00:39:36and implanted
00:39:37around the age
00:39:38of six or seven,
00:39:39the boys in particular
00:39:40go to the men.
00:39:41And the men
00:39:42are,
00:39:43Good job!
00:39:44You suck!
00:39:45That blows!
00:39:46Good job!
00:39:47Yay!
00:39:48Thumbs up!
00:39:49Thumbs down!
00:39:50Right?
00:39:51Thumbs up!
00:39:52Thumbs down!
00:39:53We are not amused!
00:39:54Right?
00:39:55So,
00:39:56that's what the men
00:39:57are supposed to do.
00:39:58Now,
00:39:59we've got this
00:40:00gynocentric
00:40:01estrogen,
00:40:02vagina,
00:40:03quagmire of a society
00:40:04which means
00:40:05everyone gets
00:40:06Yay!
00:40:07Good job!
00:40:08And then,
00:40:09they get out there
00:40:10into reality
00:40:11and they know
00:40:12it's bullshit
00:40:13and they're absolutely
00:40:15They don't have any
00:40:16realistic assessment
00:40:17of their own
00:40:21capabilities.
00:40:24Because
00:40:25they've never had
00:40:26their weaknesses
00:40:27pointed out,
00:40:30they have no idea
00:40:31what their strengths are.
00:40:32So,
00:40:48if you are
00:40:49Oh,
00:40:50I don't want
00:40:51I don't want
00:40:52the people who've lost
00:40:53to lose,
00:40:54OK,
00:40:55then just live like that.
00:40:56Don't be a hypocrite.
00:40:57Live like that.
00:40:59Pay the same amount
00:41:00for the fifth
00:41:01product.
00:41:05So let's say you've got the iPhone Max, you've got the iPhone, you've got the iPhone SE,
00:41:10you've got like all these...
00:41:12So just pay iPhone Max prices, the one that's half a freaking iMacs, pay iMacs prices for
00:41:23the iPhone 6.
00:41:26Because you know the guys who made the iPhone 6 are going to feel sad if you just buy...
00:41:30Or the guys who made the smaller iPhone are going to feel bad if you...
00:41:33So just give...
00:41:34Oh, I don't want to do that, that's not fair.
00:41:44You know, go to the slowest internet provider you can find and pay them top dollar for their
00:41:49services.
00:41:52Pay T1 prices for a 56k modem speed or a 9600 baud modem speed.
00:42:00You don't want to do that, right?
00:42:01Well, but the guys with the slow internet are going to feel bad if you go with the T1.
00:42:07They're going to feel bad.
00:42:10When your child is sick, go to the worst doctor you can find.
00:42:14Because, you know, he feels sad if you don't come to see him.
00:42:18He can't, you know, buy his drugs or whatever, he's going to get into a cabinet, right?
00:42:26But you don't want to live like that, do you?
00:42:30You want excellence from everyone around you, so you're requiring everyone else to enforce
00:42:36excellence while you encourage incompetence.
00:42:48You are offloading the challenge of giving people the truth to everyone else.
00:42:56You're requiring everyone else to do the difficult task of telling people that they suck at stuff
00:43:02because you want to be encouraging.
00:43:06And you're offloading it to everyone else, and you're making their job tough, tougher.
00:43:10Because if everyone says, hey Steph, you're not a great singer, it's like, you know, I
00:43:15can hear myself, I know I'm not a great singer, right?
00:43:17So, but if you and ten other people are saying, oh man, you're Ben Heppner and Freddie Mercury
00:43:25all combined in one flavorful puppy dog Josh Groban soupy pile of hirsute goodness, that's
00:43:36going to confuse the shit out of me, isn't it?
00:43:42And it's going to get me wasting my time on singing lessons.
00:43:52You know, go online and find the worst deal you can find.
00:43:57The worst deal.
00:43:58And then buy it.
00:44:02You know, some diarrhea-soaked Pokemon card for $5,000.
00:44:09Well, you got to pay that because the guy with the diarrhea-soaked Pokemon card is going
00:44:13to feel sad if nobody buys it.
00:44:14Go buy it.
00:44:15Oh, I don't want to do that.
00:44:18Do you want people to be wasting their time?
00:44:22Be like me threatening to James, I'm going to stop doing this and I'm going to become
00:44:25a coder again.
00:44:26And James is like, no, he's like slowly launching himself through the ether.
00:44:35I'm dedicated to becoming both the before and after picture of a hair model.
00:44:42So you want excellence and you're not willing to contribute to the somewhat tough job of
00:44:47ensuring excellence in the world, right?
00:44:53So you're just lazy and it's parasitical.
00:44:58I want excellence.
00:45:00So you aren't going to be the next Michael Buble.
00:45:03I'm really not.
00:45:04I'm really, really not.
00:45:06Was it that guy?
00:45:07Why do I have this vague feeling that he was a wedding singer and Brian Mulroney was involved?
00:45:14Like the guy who, um, Conrad Black got the guy started on, um, Oh Danny boy, the pipes,
00:45:22the pipes are calling.
00:45:26From glen to glen and down the mountain side.
00:45:31He heard some guy singing that at a company party and funded the whole record.
00:45:35I think it was a one hit wonder or whatever, right?
00:45:39James was offered to trade.
00:45:40I'll code and he'll do the show.
00:45:41It'll be fine.
00:45:42At my first job, the manager told me this job ain't for me and maybe he's right.
00:45:47Maybe he's wrong, but we all require on those bumpers of approval and disapproval to bing,
00:45:52bing, bing, right?
00:45:53I quit my job because it wasn't excellent and found one with a 22% raise.
00:45:59That's right.
00:46:04What can I tell you?
00:46:07So the only reason you'd feel bad for the losers is because you want to cripple their
00:46:15potential.
00:46:16Like you think you're being nice and benevolent.
00:46:18You're not, you're not encouraging people to pursue things that are bad at is sabotaging
00:46:23and it's an asshole move.
00:46:27I'm not calling you an asshole.
00:46:28Just saying this little bit of things is an asshole move.
00:46:30It's an asshole move.
00:46:32If somebody writes a song and the song is bad and you say, that's going to be a hit,
00:46:38then they're going to spend six months trying to make it a hit and it sucks.
00:46:44Maybe you shouldn't get beaten up like Tina Turner criticizing Ike, but you just wasted
00:46:49six months of that guy's life.
00:46:54No thank you.
00:46:58No thank you.
00:46:59And then you end up with songs like Mother on the Gem called Synchronicity.
00:47:02Is that my mother on the phone?
00:47:09Although I will say, I think it was a Stuart Copeland penned, uh, I change my clothes ten
00:47:14times before I take you on a date.
00:47:16I get the heebie-jeebies and my panic makes me late.
00:47:19I break into a cold sweat just reaching for the phone.
00:47:22I let it ring twice before I chicken out, decide you're not at home.
00:47:26Does everyone stare the way I do?
00:47:30I only look this way at you.
00:47:33And it always bugged me because they said all songs by the police and then there's this
00:47:37opera voice comes up in the back and then Sting starts singing.
00:47:40It's like, that opera voice is not yours, all music, all sounds by the police.
00:47:44But apparently it was just a tuning thing that came in while he was recording that little
00:47:48bit at home.
00:47:52No, no, no.
00:47:55If you've got no flexibility or giant boobs, probably shouldn't be a dancer, or at least
00:47:59not the classical kind, right?
00:48:09And I remember, I remember I got, I mean, in my teens, I got scouted by a modeling agency,
00:48:14went through a couple of things.
00:48:15And finally the guy was like, you know, I got a little bit of an overbite.
00:48:19Maybe if you can, you know, do something about that, we could talk and, you know, and
00:48:23I was like, good, I didn't waste my time.
00:48:29Michael Jackson looking in horror at some of the other singers during the We Are The
00:48:32World rehearsals.
00:48:33Oh yeah, that was Huey Lewis who tragically lost one ear in the eighties and lost the
00:48:37other ear recently and got, I think got suicidal about it because no more music, no more sound.
00:48:41It's one of these annoying broken ear things where it's half better, half worse from time
00:48:45to time.
00:48:48Speaking of suede here, I'll be mellow when I'm dead.
00:48:56But you know, I mean, I thought that Huey Lewis, I think he's got a nice voice.
00:49:00Go listen to him do the a cappella, all the birds have been blue and they don't know what
00:49:04to do ever since you said goodbye to me and the birds up in the sky where all they do
00:49:11is cry and that's why the rain must fall.
00:49:13Naturally.
00:49:14Lovely song.
00:49:15Yeah.
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:17Yeah.
00:49:18Yeah.
00:49:19Yeah.
00:49:20Yeah.
00:49:21Yeah.
00:49:22Yeah.
00:49:23Yeah.
00:49:24Yeah.
00:49:25Yeah.
00:49:26Yeah.
00:49:27Yeah.
00:49:28Yeah.
00:49:29Yeah.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:31Yeah.
00:49:32Yeah.
00:49:33Yeah.
00:49:34Yeah.
00:49:35Yeah.
00:49:36Yeah.
00:49:37Yeah.
00:49:38Yeah.
00:49:39Yeah.
00:49:40Yeah.
00:49:41Yeah.
00:49:42Yeah.
00:49:43Yeah.
00:49:44Yeah.
00:49:45Yeah.
00:49:46Yeah.
00:49:47Yeah.
00:49:48Yeah.
00:49:49Sure, I get it.
00:49:50Yeah.
00:49:51I mean, you know, it was pretty rough.
00:49:55Yeah, but it was fine when it was done.
00:49:59You know, the only thing that matters is the final take, right?
00:50:03What amazes me is Lionel Richie after hosting an award show that night and, you know, singing
00:50:08three songs and then up all night.
00:50:10He still sounds like gorgeous, you know, he still sounds gorgeous.
00:50:14Boy George on the We Are The World. No, was it We Are The World? Oh, Do They Know It's Christmas.
00:50:19And in this world of plenty. It just sounds lovely. It just sounds lovely. Yeah.
00:50:28Jazz musicians slumming it as pop stars. Is that the news? Were they jazz musicians? They seem very skilled.
00:50:34And I was a big fan of Huey Lewis for quite a while. I mean, I think he's a really cool guy.
00:50:40And he's got that kind of easygoing slight dad bod thing. And he just seemed like a pretty chill, chill guy.
00:50:46Sorry, I have to use the word chill once a show because I have a teenage daughter. It's just a fact.
00:50:51I hope you're chill with it. Oh, God, I did it again. It's so creepy. I'm getting the chill. Oh, no.
00:51:02But, yeah, Huey Lewis. Also, doesn't he have a giant dong?
00:51:06Because he's done a whole bunch of movies, not as many as Meat Loaf, who did some really bad movies and destroyed his voice, by the way.
00:51:12But didn't he have a nude scene? And Huey Lewis has like a dingle dangle dongo that apparently he could just lean forward and do push ups with his hands behind his head.
00:51:22Just by thinking about an alternative between Ayn Rand and the aforementioned Scarlett Johansson, who apparently disappears women behind her back.
00:51:32Anyway, all right, we're getting too obscure here. We're getting too obscure.
00:51:36So, yeah, it's sad when you want to do something and it's not for you.
00:51:42Hasn't everyone had that? Hey, I wonder if I can sing? It's all right, but not great.
00:51:47So, yeah, it's...
00:51:53Yeah, you're sad when you want to do something, right? And you don't turn out to be that good at it. I get that.
00:51:57I mean, everybody wants to be Marlon Brando. Everyone wants to be Pavarotti. Everyone wants to be Nadia Comaneci.
00:52:03Everybody wants to be the best. I get that. And the only way you're going to get any kind of chance to be the best is if people relentlessly keep you away from things that you're not great at.
00:52:12That's your only chance at greatness is people tasering you in the nads whenever you start drifting off towards something you're not great at.
00:52:22I could have made a living as an actor. I went to theater school. They absolutely loved me until they found out about my politics.
00:52:28I went there as an actor-writer, and after the first semester, they were like, man, just drop the writing. Your acting is fantastic. It's really subtle, really powerful.
00:52:37And then they found out about my politics somehow, and then they just hated me, and I ended up leaving. Mutual hatred.
00:52:43But I could have made a living as an actor, but it wasn't for me.
00:52:50And you have to relentlessly stay away from the stuff you're not excellent at and just keep thrashing around all the things you can do until you find the thing that just gets your mojo working.
00:53:03I got my mojo working, but it just ain't working on you.
00:53:10So, join in the great social gorgeousness and beauty of hammering people from chasing people away from what they're bad at towards what they're good at.
00:53:28Or if you don't want to participate that, if you want the hammer and tongs of excellence and sparks and showering, if you want all of that stuff to be done by everyone else, at least don't screw up our jobs by telling bad people they're good at stuff.
00:53:45You're not helping. You're actually making things worse, and it's not a standard you'd ever want to live by.
00:53:52So, if you can't universalize it, everyone who's bad, right?
00:53:58Think of your favorite book being made into a movie, and you want all of the worst actors playing the leads.
00:54:09Wouldn't that hurt your soul?
00:54:14You're gonna go and see your favorite band, and their singer, they just replaced him with some guy they found in the parking lot who can't sing.
00:54:23Hey, man, he wants to get up there and sing. Everybody should have that experience.
00:54:32You'd be really, really upset.
00:54:37So, yeah, I think we've milked that one enough, but yeah, don't do it, man.
00:54:42Replaced with William Hung. Oh, yes, he bangs.
00:54:45I just listened to three episodes on non-violent communication. Do you have any idea on why this topic often leads to passive aggression?
00:54:51Right.
00:54:53So, the expression of aggression is very complicated in society, and I go back and forth with this myself.
00:55:03It doesn't mean that everything I've had trouble with is complex, but when people annoy me, and I say, that's annoying, I'm annoyed.
00:55:13I don't mean you're being annoying. I'm just saying I am annoyed when you do this.
00:55:17What do most people do when you say you're annoyed with them?
00:55:21When you are emotionally expressive, and you say, that's really annoying. What you're doing is really annoying.
00:55:27What do most people do when you say that you're annoyed?
00:55:38Most people will use it against you.
00:55:43When you're annoyed, what most people will do is they will say, oh, I guess I didn't have any intention to trigger you, but I guess you're triggered.
00:55:52So, okay, I'm sorry that you were triggered. It wasn't my intention, but don't be so sensitive, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
00:56:00So, people are annoying. They poke you, and then when you say, hey, they're like, hey, there's no need to be so sensitive.
00:56:07It's a bullshit, petty, stupid superiority move, right?
00:56:18So, NVC, nonviolent communication, I mean, obviously, you don't scream abuse at people, and you don't yell at them and call them names.
00:56:26I get them, of course, that. But you can be angry with people and directly angry about it.
00:56:30I just recorded something today where it was a long thing about how his friend's new marriage fell apart within three months.
00:56:46And I was really angry. I was really, really angry. Now, did I yell abuse at him? I did not, but I directly expressed my anger.
00:56:55And then what people do is they get shocked, and they get withdrawn, and they withdraw, and they get defensive.
00:57:01And then they feel put down, and they have to level up by saying that your aggression, your anger is insane.
00:57:12Isn't that all we have? Like, this is the new strategy in American politics. You're weird. That's just weird.
00:57:23Right, right, right, right, right.
00:57:34So, when people get angry at you, I understand that. I mean, it can be uncomfortable.
00:57:40I got your question, ACE9. We'll get to it. Yeah, people, it can be uncomfortable. I get that.
00:57:48Listen to their anger. But what happens is we have a society where anger by the productive is unacceptable.
00:58:01Right, you understand, this is anger by the productive is absolutely unacceptable in our society.
00:58:10Now, you can be unproductive. You can get as angry as you want. In fact, that's really encouraged, because then that anger can be pointed at the productive.
00:58:20But if you're productive, you cannot be angry, because we live in a society which enslaves the productive, and slaves are not allowed to get angry.
00:58:39You're not allowed to be angry if you're being exploited, because anger is your defense against exploitation.
00:58:55So, the NVC people are often annoying, and when other people say that they're annoying, they reply even more passively.
00:59:03They then imply that the other person's annoyance or anger is irrational, and that they're deficient or defective or wrong for being angry, and it just gets worse and worse and worse.
00:59:18Yeah, everyone who's unproductive, who's angry, is justly expressing their discontent at a terrible system that is bad for them, right?
00:59:29Everyone who's productive, who gets angry, is an extremist who must be squashed. I mean, it's so boring, and it's so predictable that, yeah, it's the way society works.
00:59:41The only people not allowed to get angry are the people you want to exploit. Pretty clear, right?
00:59:47I mean, yeah, I had a back and forth with a bunch of NVC guys many years ago on the old forum, and I think I did some shows about it. You can find them at fdrpodcast.com. Don't forget to install that app, top right of the screen in your browser.
01:00:07Here we go.
01:00:08Steph, can I ask you a question about my family?
01:00:10No!
01:00:11Yes.
01:00:12I come from a really dysfunctional family, ACE of 9. That's an adverse childhood experience of 9. I'm really sorry about that. That's terrible.
01:00:19I recently found out that my brother was shit-talking me to other people, questioning my career and relationship success prospects.
01:00:24His daughter, my niece, is an angel and so sweet. I am her role model and life idol.
01:00:29How do I maintain boundaries with my brother while still being accessible to my niece, thinking I'm really important to her because she wants to be me?
01:00:36Well, this is the old question. Do you want to raise your own healthy children or try to minimize the damage of dysfunctional people harming their own children?
01:00:46I can't give you that answer. I can give you my answer for my life, but I can't give you your answer for your life because we're different people.
01:00:57How old is your niece? You don't say, right?
01:01:01Personally, for myself, I've stopped trying to protect children from dysfunctional people. I have my own family.
01:01:09Because I'm kind of a guy in life who likes to control the variables. The more variables I control, generally, the happier I am.
01:01:19Don't give me any of your autopilot. Give me the joystick. I don't want any auto-tune. If I'm off-key, I want everyone to flinch and slowly cry tears of blood.
01:01:31I just like controlling the variables. Now, I don't have any control of the variables of dysfunctional people with dysfunctional families who are doing harm to their children.
01:01:38I can't control those variables, and I can be cut off at any time. The more good I try to do, the more I'm in a collision course with the dysfunctional parents.
01:01:47If there's Bob and Jane, my friends, and they're mean to their kid, whatever that would mean. I wouldn't have them in my life.
01:01:54But let's say, they've got a kid named Sally. Bob and Jane, the parents, Sally's the kid.
01:02:00Sally and I get along really well, and Sally comes to me for comfort when her parents are mean to her and so on.
01:02:07Okay, so what can I do? Well, the more good I do to Sally, the more I'm on a collision course with Bob and Jane.
01:02:15I don't like to be in situations where the good I can do is highly conditional and limited.
01:02:19One of the reasons I'm out of politics, right? I don't want to be in a situation like that.
01:02:23I don't want to be in a situation where I've got to watch everything I say. I can't say this because if I go too far,
01:02:27oh, what do you think of my mom and dad? Oh, no, now I've got to lie because if I tell the truth, I'm never going to see it.
01:02:32Oh, God, forget that. Oh, no, life's too short. Life is too short for that. For me. It's different for everyone.
01:02:39Have your own family. Have your own family.
01:02:44Because you really can't control what goes on in the households of dysfunctional people. You have no control.
01:03:08Oh, there's more information. I've cut off contact with my brother, but my niece calls me.
01:03:12She's seven on her iPad, Facebook Messenger to update me on just about everything.
01:03:16I'd like to stay in a relationship with her, even though I'm not with my brother, but I don't know how.
01:03:20Sorry, I don't understand. What do you mean you don't know how? She's already calling you.
01:03:25I've cut off contact with your brother. Your niece calls you.
01:03:33She's seven, yeah. I want my own family as well. We're trying to scuttle over an ectopic pregnancy, though.
01:03:38I'm sorry to hear that. I really am. I really am. Sorry about that.
01:03:45I personally, I'm no doctor. This is not medical advice in any way, shape or form. This is just my amateur idiot opinion.
01:03:52But I think if you're trying to get pregnant, you really, really, really want to minimize your stressors.
01:04:01And if your relationship with your niece is causing you stress, you might at least want to put that on ice
01:04:06until such time as you get pregnant and have a baby of your own. It's a possibility.
01:04:18But if you're still in communication and it's not too stressful, I guess the problem is that, I mean, she's seven,
01:04:24so she's mostly into kid stuff, but as she gets older, she's going to ask you more pointed questions about the family as a whole.
01:04:29Why don't you see my dad? It's going to be tough. It's just tough.
01:04:32You know, I can't stand those claustrophobic relationships where you have to watch everything you say for fear of absolutely dire consequences and circumstances.
01:04:41Infy888, hi Steph, just wanted to say I love listening to your podcast and I wish you the best.
01:04:46Thank you. World War III? Sorry, what makes you think it's not already underway?
01:04:52All right. So you do have a relationship at the moment, but I would focus on minimizing stress with regards to pregnancy if I were in your shoes at the moment.
01:05:02All right. Let me get to your other questions.
01:05:21Adoption would be a pretty intense thing, right?
01:05:24Yeah, to me, the sort of quote World War III started in the 60s, but we can get into that another time. All right.
01:05:32Somebody says, I recently got fired for giving my colleague constructive feedback.
01:05:38He could not handle it and told my boss that I'm putting him down and mocking him and calling him an idiot, which were all lies.
01:05:43The boss did not care to verify any of those claims or to hear my side of the story. I feel punished for being honest.
01:05:48I feel, first of all, that's not a feeling, that's a judgment. You have to learn to differentiate the two.
01:05:59Thank you, Steph. Great feedback, but already running into situations where she asked me things about my brother and I'm honest and it gets me in trouble with him.
01:06:18You know, I hate to say it, man. You got to focus on your own family. At least that's what I would do. I can't tell you what to do.
01:06:26I would focus on my own family. That'd be my strategy and whatever good you can do is going to be vastly outweighed by the harm that others can do, right?
01:06:36In this case, maybe your brother, right? So let's say your brother feeds your niece 95% of his meals and what he feeds her is pure crap, just garbage, right?
01:06:45Just terrible stuff. Okay, and then she's over at your house and 5% of the meals are made by you and you give her healthy stuff.
01:06:53Does that make her healthy? Nope. Because the junk food of 95% of her diet is vastly outweighing the healthy food that you're giving her.
01:07:03Now, maybe the healthy food can help her down the road or something like that, but you can't fundamentally fix kids when they're in control of just really dysfunctional people.
01:07:13And you've got your own family to focus on, think about, and grow.
01:07:26So, you feel punished for being honest? No, no, you're not punished for being honest, my friend.
01:07:35You are receiving the natural consequences of your own bad judgment.
01:07:48So, you made a bad call, right? You gave your colleague constructive feedback thinking that he could take it. Were you right or was you wrong?
01:08:00You was wrong. And then you thought maybe your boss would have your back and find out the facts and you were wrong about that too.
01:08:10You know, I tried to pet that lion and it almost took my arm off. I feel punished for being friendly.
01:08:17It's like, no, you're being punished for the results of your own bad judgment.
01:08:22Now, when I say bad judgment, I've had my own, I have lots of them, I still have them, so don't worry about it.
01:08:27It's just, you end up being punished for being honest. That's, oh, the victim, oh, no, God, I'm telling you.
01:08:35There's a great post from many years ago. It's like, what's the one thing that your work environment has taught you?
01:08:42It's like, well, competent workers get punished with more work. I'm punished for being honest.
01:08:47No. No, you made a bad call. You made a bad call to criticize a co-worker.
01:08:56You made a bad call working for a guy who doesn't have your back and betrays you.
01:09:01So, you're liberated from an environment wherein you were making shitty decisions, right?
01:09:07You've been taken out of an environment where you judged things badly.
01:09:15But they should have done this, they should have, but they didn't. They didn't.
01:09:21And that's on you. You made your choice to work there. You made the choice to work for that boss.
01:09:26You made the choice to give constructive feedback to your co-worker, who then bitched out and whined like a tween to your boss.
01:09:34You made all of these choices. No, I'm getting punished for being honest. No, you're not.
01:09:42You're reaping the inevitable consequences of making bad choices.
01:09:47You thought your co-worker could handle it. He couldn't. You thought your boss would have your back. He didn't. So, you made mistakes.
01:09:54And there's nothing wrong with that. We all do it.
01:09:57But please don't cry me this violin-laced, operatic self-pity if I'm being punished for telling the truth.
01:10:08No, you just made a bad call. Hey, I do it all the time. Don't worry about it. It's fine.
01:10:14But I try not to translate it into, oh, but I'm being punished.
01:10:18You don't think I've been objectively punished for telling the truth and trying to help the world?
01:10:22Yeah, I absolutely have. I absolutely have.
01:10:26But I'm punished for telling the truth. It's like, no, I made my choices. I knew the risks.
01:10:33So, you have a story called, I'm perfect and you should pity me.
01:10:40I'm perfect. I was honest and you should pity me. No, I'm not going to pity you. You made a choice.
01:10:47To criticize a co-worker and rely on your boss, both of those choices were wrong.
01:10:52Now, you can either analyze what you did and say, why did I get it wrong?
01:11:00Or you can whine that you're just being punished for telling the truth. No, you got it wrong.
01:11:07You thought the lion was friendly and it almost took your arm off. Okay?
01:11:12So, learn from that. How are you going to learn from it if you make excuses and blame everyone else?
01:11:17You made these choices to work there, to criticize your co-worker.
01:11:20Maybe you didn't have a strong enough relationship with your boss.
01:11:24Maybe you criticized someone your boss values more or produces more value for your boss, in which case he sides with him.
01:11:30Maybe your boss is completely screwed up and dysfunctional, in which case you were taking money from a dysfunctional person.
01:11:35And if you weren't aware of that, that's not good.
01:11:39You made a choice. You made a call. You made a decision.
01:11:43And you didn't get what you wanted.
01:11:45You wanted to be able to criticize your co-worker and keep your job.
01:11:49You criticized your co-worker, you got fired.
01:11:52And you can either make a story out of it, an opera out of it, where you're the noble heroic virtue and everyone else is bad,
01:11:59and you get punished for telling the truth, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:12:03Or you could be an absolute freaking adult, an actual freaking adult, and say, well, I made a choice.
01:12:08It worked out badly. What can I learn from this? How can I improve?
01:12:12Not, how can I cast myself in a tragic play called Woe Is Me?
01:12:19And I say this with great affection. I love the fact that you're here. I love the fact that you're bringing up these issues.
01:12:25I really do. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Very, very important. Very cool stuff.
01:12:29Very neat. Very nice. Very good.
01:12:35But you made a bad call. It happens to all of us.
01:12:38It happens to all of us. I sympathize. I really do.
01:12:43But you're not learning anything if you're just pitying yourself.
01:12:46You're not learning everything if you're just creating a morality play called I'm a virtuous and everyone else is bad.
01:12:53Being rude. So you say, thanks, cheesy. She says, thank you for answering my question.
01:12:58Being rude to those who deserve it makes sense.
01:13:01Also, congrats to Izzy on her promotion. We'll donate later. Thank you. I appreciate that.
01:13:05To be technical, and I'm sure I spoke badly about this, you're not being rude if you are being rude back.
01:13:16It's the old question, is self-defense violence?
01:13:22Not really. Because you're aiming to minimize violence.
01:13:27You're aiming to diminish violence.
01:13:30It's like saying, is surgery stabbing? Well, I guess you could look at it that way, but surgery is designed for your health.
01:13:37And so if you're rude back to someone, I don't feel that that's rude. I feel that's fair.
01:13:45So if you're in a fight and they say, like you're in some street fight or some fist fight in school or whatever,
01:13:52and you say, okay, nothing below the belt and no faces. Okay, nothing below the belt and no faces.
01:13:56And the guy starts trying to punch your balls and face. And then you're like, are you then cheating?
01:14:03If you punch his balls and face? No, you're not cheating. It's fair. He broke the rules.
01:14:09You don't have to keep the rules. You didn't break the rules. You followed him breaking the rules.
01:14:14You accepted that there are no rules.
01:14:17So you can't be held to those rules when the other person has broken them. Does that make sense?
01:14:22You say, no face, nothing below the waist. He goes to your balls, tries to punch you in the face.
01:14:27Okay, so he's saying there are no rules. So once he said there are no rules, you can do what you want.
01:14:32And rude people are saying there's no such thing as consideration in this relationship.
01:14:35So you're not being rude. You're just saying, okay, well, we don't have to be considerate.
01:14:39You're not being rude. Rude is when you initiate it. Violence is when you initiate it, if that makes sense.
01:14:45Sorry, I know that's a little technical, but I wouldn't want you calling yourself rude when you're simply responding
01:14:50to somebody else saying there are no rules here. I don't have to be considerate.
01:14:54I don't have to think of your feelings. I don't have to do any of that.
01:14:57Okay, so we can just say what the hell we want to each other.
01:15:00Now, the other people will be rude to you. And then when you're direct back or assertive back,
01:15:06or you play by their own rules, they'll say, well, you're being rude.
01:15:10Just because it's easier. Because people would rather you have to be rude if they could do whatever they want.
01:15:14Some people, right?
01:15:16All right, we may be low on questions. We're certainly low on donations.
01:15:20But that's fine. I guess I'm just being punished for telling the truth.
01:15:24Sorry, I don't mean to be too much of a jerk about it. Just medium. Medium jerk. Medium jerk.
01:15:29But yeah, if you're listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate.
01:15:33I would really, really appreciate it to help out Le Show.
01:15:37And I'll just go check one or two more places for any questions that have floated in.
01:15:41And I'll check here. Any last tips?
01:15:49Happy to do another question or two, but I think we got through everything tonight.
01:15:53And it's good questions. I really do appreciate that.
01:15:56Yeah, I don't particularly like having people in my life where you can't be annoyed, right?
01:16:05Steph, you said, I feel that's fair. Isn't that a judgment and not a feeling?
01:16:08I just want to make sure I understand this.
01:16:17I think fair is an instinct as well. Like it's a kind of feeling. It's an instinct.
01:16:26Fair is something we also share with the animal kingdom.
01:16:29Fair is something that little toddlers have.
01:16:32Oh, no fair, right? So fair is kind of an instinct to make sure we get the right amount of resources.
01:16:36So a fair is in the realm of feeling.
01:16:41I get that you can also say in the abstract fair, technical fair, that there's a judgment aspect to it as well, right?
01:16:46So I feel that's fair. It's sort of like when I talk about restitution, right?
01:16:53So when I talk about restitution, I say, well, restitution has to be enough that you're okay with it.
01:16:57You're okay with what happened, right?
01:16:59So the example I use, of course, is, you know, I borrow your car and I ding your car.
01:17:02If I just hand back the car with five bucks saying, you fix it, you'd probably annoy it, right?
01:17:08Because I dinged your car and I didn't fix it or pay, right?
01:17:11Now, if I go and get it repaired and buffed out and also get the car detailed and all of that,
01:17:16then you're like, okay, I don't mind that it happened. I'm not happy that it happened. I'm okay.
01:17:20You've reached a point of equilibrium that's kind of like a feeling thing.
01:17:23There's a gut sense about these things.
01:17:25However, if I ding your car and then hand it back to you with a million dollars,
01:17:33you're incredibly happy that I dinged your car because now you've got a slightly dinged car
01:17:39and a million dollars or something like that, right?
01:17:41So that's too much. That's excessive, right? That's excessive restitution, right?
01:17:45So,
01:17:53fairness has an instinctual feel to it, if that makes sense.
01:18:00It happens in relationships all the time, right?
01:18:02So, if you are a guy who works 10-12 hours a day for his family,
01:18:07and then your wife is, I don't know, has got one kid in school
01:18:11and doesn't really do much cooking and cleaning, it feels unfair.
01:18:15It's a feeling. It bothers you, right?
01:18:18See, there are some judgments that produce a feeling,
01:18:21and there are other feelings that are the equivalent of a judgment.
01:18:24I'm sorry. I don't want to sound self-justifying, so give me a second to explain it.
01:18:28Maybe it'll hang together. Maybe it'll fall apart.
01:18:30So, if you say, well, I've just been punished for telling the truth,
01:18:33that's a thought that will provoke a feeling of self-righteousness and self-pity
01:18:37and self-justification.
01:18:39But the feeling doesn't necessarily exist without that thought,
01:18:44because the thought is generating that.
01:18:46It's one way of looking at it, which is self-pity,
01:18:48and says, I have nothing to learn other than that I'm a victim
01:18:52and good people die like dogs in the trenches of corporate warfare or something, right?
01:18:56Whereas, if you have a sense of fairness in an interaction,
01:19:02so if you're over the age of 20 and you have friends,
01:19:06when you all go out for dinner, what you do is,
01:19:09you know, I'll pay, like, if I've got three groups of friends,
01:19:14I have more than that, but let's just say I've got three groups of friends,
01:19:17three families or three whatever, right?
01:19:19So, we'll go out and I'll pay for dinner,
01:19:23and then they'll pay for dinner, but what we won't do is,
01:19:26well, you had the dessert and you had a drink and you ordered the steak
01:19:29that was slightly more expensive than this chicken,
01:19:32and, like, we won't do that. We won't do that.
01:19:35We'll just, and we get a sense.
01:19:38If there's a guy who never pays, after a while, you just get annoyed.
01:19:41Now, it's not the thought, it's the instinct.
01:19:43It's the fairness is like an instinct.
01:19:46And we know this because, as I've said before,
01:19:49if you give people abstract mathematical problems, they can't solve them,
01:19:52but if you put it in, this guy orders this drink and this drink is this fair,
01:19:55and they get it like that, right?
01:19:57We have an instinct for fairness that comes all the way from being babies and toddlers.
01:20:04So, the feelings arise from an instinctual sense of fairness,
01:20:08like, how come this guy never pays?
01:20:11And then you might say to him, it's like, hang on,
01:20:13like, there are three of us, three families, we're all going out for dinner,
01:20:16we've paid the last five or six times, you don't pay.
01:20:18Is there something going on? Are you broke?
01:20:20I mean, is there something we need to know?
01:20:22I mean, it doesn't necessarily come from a state of hostility,
01:20:24but you get this kind of feeling, this instinct.
01:20:26You're not keeping little notches on your, you know,
01:20:29tablet or phone.
01:20:31Oh, it didn't pay.
01:20:33It's just a general sense, right?
01:20:35General sense of what's fair.
01:20:37So, if you're in a relationship where you're doing a lot of work
01:20:42and the other people, like, let's say that,
01:20:45I mean, I had one of these relationships, right?
01:20:47Where I was working and paying the bills
01:20:49and my girlfriend was not doing much work.
01:20:55And then when I came home, she was like,
01:20:57want me to do half the housework?
01:20:59And it's like, well, that's fair.
01:21:01You're not paying half the bills, right?
01:21:03So, and, you know, I mean, like I always said,
01:21:06look, I'm happy to do half the housework,
01:21:08but then you have to pay half the bills.
01:21:10No, that's like not how it works.
01:21:12It's like, yeah, it's not how it works for you,
01:21:14but it's kind of how it works in the realm of fairness.
01:21:16So, and of course, these things ebb and flow in relationships.
01:21:19There's times when somebody is kind of unwell
01:21:21or maybe feeling a bit down and they don't contribute as much.
01:21:23And there's other times when people have a lot more energy,
01:21:25they can, but it, you know, generally balances out.
01:21:27I work hard, my wife works hard,
01:21:28and I never have any doubt at all
01:21:31that we're both contributing equally to the relationship.
01:21:35In fact, we spend half the day saying to the other person,
01:21:38yeah, put your feet up, relax, you know.
01:21:43Well, basically marriage is yelling at each other
01:21:46from other rooms until one of you dies.
01:21:48So fairness is an instinct that manifests as a feeling
01:21:55and then often needs to be conceptualized,
01:21:56but this kind of judgment of like,
01:21:58well, I guess I'm just getting punished for telling the truth.
01:22:00I feel punished.
01:22:02That is a real judgment that conditions
01:22:04the emotions that follow us,
01:22:06whereas fairness is an instinct that we have
01:22:08that we have to find a way to verbalize.
01:22:11And it is fair.
01:22:13It is fair.
01:22:15If somebody pays for what you're shipping,
01:22:17then you should ship it.
01:22:19That's fair.
01:22:21If they don't pay, you don't have to ship it.
01:22:23It's not fair.
01:22:24If you're shipping what someone has paid for,
01:22:26then you're kind of stealing from them.
01:22:28But if you also ship something that someone didn't pay for,
01:22:30then you're kind of stealing from everyone who did pay for it
01:22:33because you've got to raise prices to cover that, right?
01:22:39So hopefully that makes sense.
01:22:43What do you think is going on with Bitcoin?
01:22:46I just did a show on Bitcoin.
01:22:48I just did a show on Bitcoin,
01:22:50and I said it was technical, not foundational,
01:22:54and things seem to be rebounding all right.
01:22:58All right.
01:23:00I think we may be done.
01:23:02We did a bit of an early show tonight,
01:23:04and I appreciate the people who have donated,
01:23:06but it's a little hard to keep the motivation up sometimes.
01:23:08So that's all right.
01:23:10It's not your job to motivate me.
01:23:12Oh, thank you.
01:23:14That helped.
01:23:16I appreciate that.
01:23:18Thank you for the tip.
01:23:20Why are they not showing up?
01:23:21Any other last questions, issues, comments, challenges, problems?
01:23:26He knows you know, but he's got problems.
01:23:30The Great Fish from Merlion.
01:23:32Very interesting singer.
01:23:34Great lyricist.
01:23:36But I think a bit of a druggie, if I remember rightly.
01:23:39Not that that was that unusual in the 70s.
01:23:45Yes, the show you're looking for is 5588,
01:23:48The Economy, Crash or Correction,
01:23:49fdrpodcast.com slash 5588.
01:23:53All right.
01:23:55Well, I think we're done, and I really, really do.
01:23:57I will donate on the website as soon as the groceries are put away.
01:24:00Thank you very much.
01:24:02I appreciate that.
01:24:04Have yourselves an absolutely gorgeous and delightful evening.
01:24:06We will talk to you Friday.
01:24:08And don't forget, of course, if you want,
01:24:11I'm going to have to raise prices,
01:24:13because demand's a little high,
01:24:15but you can squeeze a few more people in.
01:24:17I just did two today,
01:24:19because my family and my ladies were out with the shopping.
01:24:21And because we got ourselves a wedding to go to.
01:24:24A wedding.
01:24:26We'll be telling you all about the wedding later,
01:24:28because you know some of the people involved.
01:24:30So I did two.
01:24:33I did six hours of call-ins today.
01:24:35One free, one paid.
01:24:37And you can go to freedomain.com slash call-in
01:24:42to book a call.
01:24:48And it can be open, public.
01:24:50It can be private, if that's what you prefer.
01:24:55But freedomain.com slash call.
01:24:59Sorry, freedomain.com slash call.
01:25:04Yes, freedomain.com slash call.
01:25:06And you can put a call-in request.
01:25:09We've just had some really smoking call-ins lately.
01:25:12And they're not out yet, but they will be soon.
01:25:15Yeah, freedomain.com slash call.
01:25:17All right, thanks everyone.
01:25:19Have yourselves a glorious, wonderful evening.
01:25:21We'll talk to you Friday.
01:25:23And we'll do our usual Sunday, I think.
01:25:28Yeah, we'll do our usual Sunday thing,
01:25:30which is the second hour.
01:25:32We'll be done only for the spiciest questions
01:25:34known to man or God.
01:25:36All right, thanks everyone.
01:25:38Have a beautiful evening.
01:25:40Bye.