Bittu ने जानबूझ कर अपने Family को बाहर भेजा | Comedy Nights With Kapil
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00:00I think I am going to see Madhuri today.
00:02But I don't know why I want to hug one of them today.
00:07Come on, baby. Hug me.
00:10I am already excited because of Madhuri.
00:12And she is giving me the full response.
00:16How are you feeling today?
00:18Good?
00:19Yeah, Madhuri.
00:20I am feeling good.
00:21I am feeling good.
00:22I am feeling good.
00:23I am feeling good.
00:24I am feeling good.
00:26I am feeling good.
00:27I am feeling good.
00:28I am feeling good.
00:29Go to hell.
00:35I don't know what skin she has applied.
00:36She doesn't feel cold.
00:37She is roaming around in January without a shoulder pad.
00:43You have hit the pad.
00:46Girls, thank you so much for coming here.
00:49Thank you. Love you too.
00:55You seem to be in a romantic mood today, Guru.
00:57Brother, I respect the girls who have come here.
01:00They are honest.
01:01It's not like that. They are our guests.
01:03If we don't respect our guests..
01:04..then half of India goes to Goa to celebrate New Year because of them.
01:08And it's so nice.
01:09If you give them a smile in the morning, they will smile again.
01:12They even say good morning.
01:14Very good morning.
01:15Hi.
01:15In our village, a girl says good morning.
01:17She says, good morning to your sisters.
01:20Because we have ruined the system.
01:22Look at these white girls.
01:23They leave their country and come here alone.
01:26And in our country, a girl can't go 50 metres away from home.
01:29All the boys in the country leave her.
01:30They are so stubborn.
01:32A girl is walking and a bike is behind her.
01:33I said, let me drop you on the bike.
01:36They are so stubborn.
01:37They are so stubborn.
01:38And the girl also pulls and says, drop your sister.
01:41And then they are so stubborn that they climb higher.
01:43And someone will drop their sister.
01:44You worry about yourself.
01:51There was love in the olden days.
01:52The times have changed now.
01:54These days, SMS has come.
01:56But these days, SMS creates a lot of problems.
01:58A boy and a girl got engaged.
02:00Two days later, the same girl sent a message to her fiancé.
02:02She said, sorry darling, my marriage has been fixed.
02:05The boy called her and said, how is this possible?
02:07We got engaged the day before yesterday.
02:08She said, oh sorry, you got it by mistake.
02:13She got the wrong number.
02:16Brother, love is such a thing.
02:18Everyone has it in their life.
02:19We have a lot of friends here who have fallen in love with someone.
02:23So I want to know, how do you know if love is true or not?
02:27Is there anyone who can answer this?
02:28Yes.
02:30Hello Kapil sir, my name is Vicky Padil.
02:32I had a lot of love in the past.
02:36What do you mean by a lot?
02:37I mean, I had only one love.
02:38So it just slipped out of my mouth.
02:40So..
02:40It slipped.
02:41It slipped, brother.
02:42Yes.
02:43So it happened that I couldn't sleep at night.
02:46Yes.
02:47Okay.
02:48I used to see Kareena like Aamir Khan.
02:51Like Aamir Khan?
02:52Yes, I mean..
02:53She got married to Saif.
02:56You are writing the wrong number.
02:58No, brother.
02:58I mean, like a heroine.
03:02Like Kareena.
03:03I used to see her as my heroine.
03:04Okay.
03:05This used to happen to me a lot of times.
03:06And I used to miss her a lot during dinner and lunch.
03:12I used to lose a lot of weight because of her.
03:16What are you saying?
03:17Are you sure you were in love or were you under control?
03:19I mean, I don't understand.
03:22What is this?
03:24No, it happens a lot of times.
03:27It happens a lot of times.
03:29At least, the gas goes to the brain.
03:30And the man starts talking nonsense.
03:35Okay, there must be some people who don't believe in love.
03:39Who are they?
03:42First tell me if you are worthy of love.
03:49Hello, sir.
03:50My name is Pat Patel.
03:51I am from Mumbai.
03:53Sir, I tried many times.
03:54But I never fell in love.
03:56That's why I don't believe in love.
03:58Where did you try?
03:59Wait a minute.
04:00Did you see a dry firecracker?
04:07On whom did you try?
04:08Did you try on the road alone?
04:10I tried on whatever I got.
04:11Whatever I got was good.
04:15Brother, have lunch and dinner before trying.
04:17Okay.
04:19Your family loves you, right?
04:21A lot.
04:22Then how can you believe in love?
04:23Yes, sir. That's love. But that's something else.
04:25That's different.
04:28I mean, what are you thinking now?
04:30Do you want to get married or not?
04:32Yes, if I get married, I will get married.
04:34I mean, you are stubborn from inside.
04:36You don't want to leave if you get married.
04:38You want to fall in love.
04:39Yes.
04:39How old are you?
04:4017th running.
04:42First get your license made.
04:45It will be done.
04:46You are 17 years old and you have lost faith in love.
04:49Who are you?
04:50Wow!
04:50Look at his face carefully.
04:56Complete your first degree.
04:58Yes.
04:59Okay?
04:59And eat well.
05:00Otherwise, if you love like this, you will get glucose.
05:02I am telling you.
05:08Thank you, Parth.
05:10Thank you, sir.
05:11Brother, look at God's magic.
05:13Today Mahendra Dixit is going to come.
05:15The topic is all about love.
05:17But you know one thing.
05:18Where there is love, there are villains.
05:21And there are many villains in my family.
05:23Yes.
05:24And I don't want anyone to stay here today.
05:27Because I want to meet Mahendra Dixit alone.
05:30Your lips are wet.
05:35Today we will talk about romantic things.
05:37That's it.
05:38Sir, you are singing with a lot of pose.
05:41Is there a special guest coming?
05:42You were singing in the bathroom in the morning.
05:44That's my helplessness.
05:45When there is no lock in the bathroom..
05:46..then I will sing and take a bath.
05:47That has not happened since six months.
05:51What is the matter?
05:52Earlier you used to sing devotional songs.
05:53Today your lips are drenched.
05:55Yes.
05:56Lovey dovey.
05:57What problem do you have that your lips are drenched?
05:59Tell me the truth. Whose lips are these?
06:01Lovey dovey.
06:02You go and concentrate on your rice and lentils.
06:04What do you have to do with it?
06:05So I will concentrate on the same thing..
06:06..which will be at home.
06:11Your misbehaviour is increasing.
06:13This time I will have to deduct your salary.
06:15Not deduct, I will have to add it.
06:17When the year's pending is pending..
06:18..add this to it and I am going inside.
06:20Where are you going inside?
06:20I am going to sleep.
06:21What are you doing sleeping? Come here.
06:23Go and watch a new film outside.
06:26Take this. Take this.
06:27Go and watch a film for ten rupees.
06:28Oh my God! Ten rupees.
06:30What happened? Have you seen ten rupees for the first time?
06:35Take this. Take ten rupees more. Take this.
06:37Ten rupees is so expensive.
06:39He has a lot of romance.
06:40Sir, I won't go.
06:42Something is definitely wrong today.
06:43Today I will stay here and see what romance you are doing.
06:46Look, Raju, my brother.
06:48Your sister-in-law is going to come here today.
06:50She had come here five years ago.
06:51She is my wife.
06:52No, the real sister-in-law is going to come.
06:53Madhuri Dixit.
06:55Oh my God! Madhuri Dixit is coming?
06:57Today I will definitely meet Madhuri.
07:00Will Madhuri Dixit meet Madhuri Dixit..
07:01..with a face like a frying pan?
07:03She will get such a bad impression.
07:04Do one thing.
07:05Go to the street, sir.
07:06There is a beauty parlour.
07:08Go there and get a facial for twenty rupees.
07:09You will get a good impression.
07:10Madhuri Dixit will get impressed.
07:12Really?
07:12Yes.
07:13I will get a facial?
07:14You will get a facial.
07:14Oh my God!
07:15I will get a facial right now.
07:16Yes!
07:17He will get a facial.
07:18Madhuri Dixit will get a facial.
07:19Yes!
07:23Hello, Dulan Beauty Parlour.
07:25My servant is coming to get a facial for twenty rupees.
07:27I will give you fifty rupees.
07:28Spoil his face.
07:30Yes.
07:30And don't send him till I call him.
07:32Okay?
07:32Yes, bye.
07:34Mr. Sharma.
07:41What is the matter today?
07:43You are wearing a blue suit.
07:44You look very smart and handsome.
07:46Won't you take me out for a walk?
07:49Do you want to go out?
07:50Come here.
07:53Mr. Sharma.
07:54I will take you out for a walk.
07:55Once..
07:56Did you take him out for dinner last time?
07:57After dinner, he came to the finger bowl.
07:59He took out a lemon from it.
08:00He squeezed it and drank the water.
08:02Then he said, hot chicken is not bad.
08:06He started again.
08:07No problem.
08:08I don't know why I am falling in love with him today.
08:10Why?
08:10I won't feel bad about anything he says.
08:13Make some more jokes.
08:14No, you are also looking very beautiful.
08:16Come on, let's go.
08:17He is a very bad man.
08:18He is praising me for making fun of me.
08:20Oh, sweet.
08:20I was just joking.
08:21Otherwise, why would I praise you so much?
08:24Leave me.
08:26You insult me so much.
08:28Still, I don't leave you.
08:30Isn't this a good quality, brother?
08:31Very good.
08:32Not a good quality.
08:33You belong to the Chipkoo family.
08:35The police caught his father in a theft case.
08:37After three days, he said, leave me here.
08:39After getting thrashed 15-20 times,
08:40he was getting three meals a day.
08:41What do you want to do outside?
08:43Mr. Sharma, my father is not a thief.
08:45He has his own business.
08:46Shall I tell you what business it is?
08:47You read the news in the papers.
08:49He robbed a woman by giving her a chance to double the jewellery.
08:51He is his father.
08:56Go to his house and see.
08:57Dogs are sleeping on the bed.
08:59I don't understand whether the dogs are sleeping on his bed
09:02or he is sleeping on the dog's bed.
09:04Excuse me.
09:05We are so rich that we can raise a dog.
09:08He didn't raise a dog.
09:08The dog has raised you. Don't lie.
09:16Oh, my God!
09:23Why have you two created such a ruckus in the house?
09:26Your nephew is being insulted by my aunt.
09:29What else?
09:30Bittu, aren't you ashamed?
09:33He is alone while insulting his family members.
09:36I should also get a chance.
09:42Aunt, what are you doing?
09:44The weather is so nice.
09:45Go out and enjoy.
09:47I would have gone out
09:49but I have a sprain in my back.
09:52You have a sprain in your back?
09:53Yes.
09:53You will go to a spa.
09:55Go to a spa and get a massage.
09:56Here is Rs. 300. Go.
09:57Oh, my God!
09:58Rs. 300?
10:00You are giving Rs. 300 to your aunt?
10:02I am asking for Rs. 80 to get my blouse stitched
10:05for a week at the spa.
10:07You are saying that you don't have money.
10:08How would I know?
10:09You used to wear polythene before wearing a blouse.
10:18Listen.
10:19What?
10:20Why do you need money for a blouse?
10:21Take this.
10:23Rs. 300. You also take it.
10:24Go and wear ready-made clothes.
10:25Go and enjoy.
10:26I don't have money.
10:26Get out of the house today.
10:28There is a sale outside. Go to the mall.
10:29Aunt, you also go.
10:30There is a shop where grooms are being sold at a discount.
10:31Let's go.
10:33Really?
10:33Yes.
10:35I will get dressed and go.
10:36Go and get dressed.
10:38Why do you want to get dressed?
10:38Go and buy new clothes.
10:39You can wear them there.
10:40How can I go in a nightie?
10:40Go in a nightie.
10:41I will go in the morning.
10:42You can't go in a nightie. Go.
10:43Go.
10:44Go.
10:45I am not going.
10:46I am going to get dressed.
10:48Water.
10:49Water.