El Presidente | Stool Scenes
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00:00This OnlyFans girl just bought you a car.
00:02Yeah.
00:02How much are they?
00:03Oh, like 28 grand.
00:05Get one.
00:06Can I buy me one?
00:07We'll buy you one.
00:08Just come to the, come to the farm for delivery.
00:10Stop, you're not actually buying me a mochi.
00:12He will buy you one.
00:14No, he won't.
00:15She bought you a car that they're making for you custom.
00:17Yeah, made custom on the pod.
00:18There's a Nicki Smoke story that kind of popped up on the blog.
00:22Can I talk about how he just DM'd me on Instagram the other day?
00:25Is he gonna hate me?
00:26Nicki Smoke's DM'd you?
00:27Yeah, I have it. It's on my phone.
00:28He literally DM'd me on Instagram.
00:29Wait, am I gonna?
00:30Oh my God.
00:31I don't know about all that, but.
00:33Poki debate, should I answer Nicki Smoke's DM's?
00:36Sorry, Nicki Smokes.
00:43This OnlyFans girl just bought you a car.
00:45Yeah.
00:45My one purchase I won, like my purchase that I'd go hardcore with,
00:49I didn't have that much money.
00:50Is it mochi? You know what a mochi is?
00:51It's like a Jeep and a golf cart had a baby.
00:53Interesting.
00:54They rocked.
00:55Can you show my picture?
00:56They're awesome.
00:57Why, why have you not gotten one?
00:59Yes, I can show you the picture.
01:00Because I don't think I can drive one around Long Island, frankly.
01:02How much are they?
01:03Probably 28 grand.
01:04What the hell? Get one.
01:05You're not gonna buy me one?
01:06I'm not gonna buy you one.
01:07If this episode does good, maybe you buy me one.
01:10We'll buy you one.
01:11Just come to the, come to the farm for delivery.
01:14Stop, you're not actually buying me a mochi.
01:16I'll buy it right now.
01:17He will buy you one right now.
01:18No, you won't.
01:18I won't?
01:19I'm not saying you won't.
01:20I don't, I don't, I feel bad.
01:21You're gonna actually buy me one.
01:22Our gift to you.
01:23That's up to you.
01:24I mean, if you're actually gonna turn it down right now.
01:25I will say 22 million.
01:26I'm not gonna say no to a 22 million person.
01:29But if you're okay with it, I will accept it.
01:31As long as you accept delivery at the farm.
01:33I will accept delivery at the farm.
01:34Okay.
01:35Alright, well, here.
01:36I will accept, I will make a vlog out of it.
01:37I will accept delivery at the farm.
01:40Okay.
01:41Do you wanna build it now or do you wanna build it after this?
01:42Stop, stop.
01:44This is my dream to have a mochi.
01:45I don't want, you're making me sad.
01:48Stop, this is my dream.
01:50I'm gonna cry.
01:51It comes true.
01:52I'm gonna cry.
01:53Has anyone else made you cry on your own podcast before?
01:55No, on my OnlyFans podcast.
01:58I love mochis.
01:59Okay, great.
02:01What?
02:02She's an angel.
02:03When is it being delivered?
02:04Now it takes 180 days to make.
02:05She bought you a car that they're making for you custom?
02:07Yeah, made custom on the pod.
02:09Retweet the video.
02:10Yeah, I'll retweet the video.
02:14I made it custom on the pod.
02:15What the hell?
02:18It's light blue and red.
02:19Did you have to smash to pay for it?
02:21Your boyfriend was the one who initiated it.
02:22It looks like little Ike's car.
02:25Yeah.
02:26That's unbelievable.
02:27She actually made $22 million in two and a half years.
02:29So I guess she could just spare 30K.
02:32She spent $30,000?
02:34Yeah, $30,000.
02:35Where is she?
02:36That's the one I bought.
02:38Dude, are you bringing that to Long Island?
02:40We literally customized the whole thing on the spot.
02:44Went on the internet, customized it.
02:46Look at this car that he got.
02:48That's what she bought him.
02:51Yeah, it's beautiful.
02:52Are you going to just drive around LBI?
02:54No, I think I got to figure out a place to keep it in South Florida.
02:56I literally said if I won the lottery, that would be the first thing I'd buy.
02:59A Mokie is my dream car.
03:00I was going to say, say what you want.
03:02It's a funny dream car, but it looks like a car that you would drive.
03:04My first ride in the Mokie, I'm going to cry.
03:08My friend has one.
03:09Have you been in one?
03:10No.
03:11Oh, they're fun.
03:12You could literally rent them in Florida.
03:13And I got to pick it up.
03:14She said the only stipulation, I got to pick it up at her house
03:16and then drive it all the way down to Delray.
03:18I have to go down the A1A, the beach at Jason Road.
03:21It's like two hours by myself when I pick it up.
03:23And just listen to some tunes.
03:25You're saying that's a bad thing?
03:26No, it's a great thing.
03:27I can't wait.
03:28So you're like, the only bad thing is I got to drive down the beach in my new car
03:31listening to tunes for two hours.
03:32No, I love driving.
03:33Especially in my new car.
03:34Can you do me a favor?
03:35Don't text.
03:36I won't text.
03:37Don't text.
03:38I won't.
03:39You might.
03:40And you should go on Instagram live the whole time.
03:42I should.
03:43That might be.
03:44No.
03:45No.
03:46Now my question is, do I have to register this thing?
03:48Yes.
03:49License plates.
03:50Do I got to get plates?
03:51Yeah.
03:52Give it back.
03:53Say, fuck this.
03:54I don't have to do the work.
03:55How do you get plates?
03:56I got to go to the bar to DMV?
03:57Correct.
03:58You register it here and then drive it from Ohio to New York City.
04:01But I don't know if it's a full-blown car.
04:02I don't know if it needs plates.
04:04I think it does.
04:05I think a golf car needs plates if you drive it on the street, right?
04:09If you're using it like a car, I think it needs plates.
04:13I don't know.
04:16I don't know.
04:17But either way, thank you, Braxton Adams.
04:18You're an angel.
04:21Wait.
04:22Oh, yes.
04:23I did.
04:24Yeah.
04:25Like his dream car.
04:26Yeah.
04:27And it's like going to be in Florida.
04:28Yeah.
04:29He like custom-made it.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Yeah.
04:32It's in Ranger's color.
04:33It's like he's 10.
04:34I did.
04:35I did hear about that.
04:36What happened to it?
04:37It's like a golf cart car.
04:38It's like between a car and a golf cart.
04:41You got him a car?
04:42Yeah.
04:43Custom.
04:44Oh, that's very nice.
04:45Wow.
04:46How about that?
04:47You know, maybe it's like a thing if you're like a valued customer.
04:49You know, you buy 17,000 OnlyFans, you get a free golf cart.
04:53It's a nice promo.
04:56I think it's true love.
04:57Do you ever scare a few, Marty, that it happened half an hour from where you were?
05:00Yeah.
05:01Don't you think that feels a little close?
05:03Yeah, when stuff happens close, it's like, yeah.
05:05It's like a weird feeling.
05:07It just feels weird that it's so close to it.
05:10Yeah.
05:11Yeah.
05:12I think you were right.
05:13I think you were the next target.
05:15No, I just think it's a little weird feeling.
05:17Clever.
05:18I'm all in on Dante's Twitter.
05:19Nice place.
05:20You didn't feel anything the 9-11?
05:22Wake up, people.
05:23I was in a hamster.
05:24So, like, I didn't.
05:26You're saying you didn't care?
05:27I care, but I didn't feel.
05:28I never felt at risk.
05:30We're saying he felt at risk.
05:31No, of course I did.
05:32You turned off the TV.
05:33Of course I did.
05:34It was horrible.
05:35It was the most shocking thing I've ever seen on television.
05:39Like, I really...
05:41How does that happen?
05:42I was...
05:43No, no, no.
05:44You don't care about 9-11.
05:45We heard you loud and clear.
05:46We heard you loud and clear.
05:47No, I'm kind of with you.
05:48I never thought I was a target.
05:49Well, I do.
05:50I care deeply about it.
05:51It was horrible.
05:52Like, I...
05:53It was the worst thing of my lifetime.
05:55But I don't...
05:56But I never thought I was, like, at risk.
05:58It was the first time a president drew blood since Reagan in 81.
06:02Like, it's crazy.
06:03Yeah, I know.
06:04It's crazy.
06:05I mean, it was...
06:06It was maybe one of the biggest stories of our lifetime.
06:09Yeah.
06:10That's fair.
06:11Listen, don't congratulate me.
06:13Congratulate Tommy.
06:14No, Tommy said one of the biggest.
06:15He's fair.
06:169-11 is bigger.
06:17Yeah, I don't know if anything's...
06:18No, 9-11 is bigger.
06:199-11 is bigger.
06:20COVID is probably bigger.
06:21Yes.
06:22If he's maybe the current president, I'd say, okay, even with 9-11.
06:25He's not.
06:26No, it's not.
06:27No, it's not.
06:28I'm saying it's Tommy.
06:29No, he's saying this the next year after that.
06:30Yeah, yeah.
06:31I think it might be three.
06:32If you could have it happen again and nobody dies and you get the same sort of Twitter
06:35day, would you, like, let it happen again?
06:38No.
06:39It's...
06:40You had numbers.
06:41That rhetoric is...
06:42Tommy glanced at the camera.
06:43I saw a lot of tweets about it.
06:44You had a lot of tweets about it.
06:45All I know is that you don't care about 9-11.
06:47I do care about 9-11.
06:48That's not what I said.
06:49I said I never felt like I was at risk.
06:51I think some people...
06:54If I was a New Yorker...
06:55I was in Long Island.
06:56My parents were in the city.
06:57That's very scary.
06:58See, that's what I mean.
06:59To compare myself to that would have been like, that's false...
07:02That's false valor.
07:03That's false valor.
07:04I'm going to wait until I get Mincy's opinion on all of this and then I'll let you know.
07:07I think that it's just more stems from the fact that he was denied extra security and
07:11everything.
07:12But I don't think it was like...
07:13I know people look at the videos of like...
07:15But there's no way the Secret Service were like, okay, we're going to let this guy shoot.
07:18I guess they don't want...
07:19They pulled people off of his detail, though, and put it on Dr. Jill Biden's...
07:22Yeah, yeah.
07:23Because she had an appearance.
07:24Dr. Jill.
07:25Like, what are we doing?
07:26I mean, to be fair, she's basically the president.
07:28That's true.
07:31You might be right.
07:33Anything to say about the shooter being a registered Republican?
07:35Yeah, well, dad's a Republican.
07:37Probably got...
07:38What about him donating $15 to Democratic...
07:40$15?
07:41$15?
07:42Damn.
07:43There's a lot of Democrats that are registered Republicans, though, so they can vote against
07:47Trump in their primaries.
07:48So be careful with that.
07:49Oh, that's sneaky.
07:50That's sneaky.
07:51See, I don't know the answer.
07:52To me, the donation matters more than...
07:54I agree with that.
07:55Follow the money, follow the sex.
07:56Even if it's $15?
07:57Yeah.
07:58Oh, we're having an emergency podcast.
08:00This is Dante.
08:01Hopped on a plane.
08:02It's come to New York to record a new episode of Audio Crack.
08:05What are you guys going to talk about?
08:07Are we on full blown tinfoil hat here?
08:10I haven't heard Dante's takes, so I might be the voice of reason.
08:15He was going off on Twitter.
08:17I only read some of them.
08:18We're going to sit down on Audio Crack and talk about the weekend's events in Pennsylvania.
08:27I'm just looking to ask Billy a lot of questions, because none of it makes any sense to me,
08:33but I'm an idiot.
08:34I don't know anything.
08:35Don't even press the record button.
08:39I'm a little skeptical of some of the information that's come out, because there was some stuff
08:48that was leaked that hasn't really been addressed in the media.
08:54I'm not entirely sure that the guy who they're saying is the guy.
08:59We're just asking questions.
09:01We have new stuff coming out.
09:03The head of the Secret Service is saying they didn't put anyone on top of the roof,
09:06because it was sloped.
09:08It's sketchy.
09:11We're going to check it out.
09:13Is it like a setting?
09:15I miss the Dante pod.
09:19Was I supposed to be there?
09:21You got 50 seconds.
09:24How did he get on that roof?
09:27How did he get on that roof?
09:29You couldn't even climb onto the United Center.
09:32Mincy didn't go to the snow camp.
09:34I had a long conversation with Billy this morning about this.
09:37You've been on corrugated steel before, or aluminum?
09:41If a pebble is rolling around up there, you're hearing it.
09:44Never mind, the Secret Service was stationed in there.
09:48That was their setup.
09:51Somebody's up there crawling around, climbing up the wall,
09:54banging a ladder against it, no one hears it.
09:56They also saw it with a range finder 30 minutes earlier.
09:59It makes no sense.
10:01The thing that I'm most, the silver lining I'm taking from this thing
10:04is people like you guys who used to sit there and call people like me wackos
10:09and conspiracy theorists.
10:11Now you guys are awake, and now you're starting to ask questions.
10:14I've been asking for hours.
10:16Me and Dante, we could run this country.
10:19Me, him, Billy, Jack, Mac, Big T.
10:23Those are the minds that need to be shaping this future.
10:30Just watching this DEI director of the Secret Service lie through her teeth.
10:35Have you done any of your own research on it?
10:38Just watching a lot of Fox News.
10:41So if that counts, something is amiss for sure.
10:47The FBI probably tried to kill you.
10:52I'm sorry I can't hear you.
11:00Everyone's going to hate that I just found this.
11:06What are we unboxing here?
11:09This is going to break. I don't know.
11:12That one's easier to work.
11:14Because those come right...
11:18I'm not up to nothing. I don't know what anybody thinks.
11:22I am not the bad guy.
11:24Oh, that was upside down.
11:28I don't want to be a bad intern, but...
11:35Dixon's here. Holy shit.
11:48I don't know what I'm going to do with this one.
11:57He's going to get so mad.
11:59Wait, can you text Jack and tell him that he has a package?
12:06He didn't want to be an accomplice.
12:08I'm not being an accomplice.
12:13He already hates me, he said that.
12:16Just do it.
12:20Bro, I can't be the intern that shoots everyone with a gel blaster.
12:34But then I'm annoying. I don't want to be annoying.
12:38Ow, I just shot myself.
12:40Then I got a message.
12:43Can you imagine that went in my mouth?
12:48They sent us six more guns, but they're different than this.
12:51But guess what? They're all broken. They don't work.
12:54Good. Thank God.
12:56This part doesn't go on. I already tried.
12:58But they sent four more of these.
13:00You weren't here on Friday.
13:02They were shooting upstairs and I was like, you guys have to stop.
13:05And then guess what? She yells, it wasn't me.
13:08It wasn't me. It was Wyatt.
13:11I believe it was Wyatt.
13:13I didn't even say it was her though.
13:15Who do you think it was?
13:17I thought it was one of the interns upstairs.
13:19It probably wasn't you because you would have been yelling while you were shooting.
13:22Yeah, I just wanted to let everyone know.
13:36They have the big snack closet.
13:38Do you have stuff that you want to hit them with?
13:40Oh, we were just talking about interns.
13:42We were just debating interns.
13:44So what we're going to do is we'll have you do the Angel Reese thing.
13:47And then afterwards, there's a Nicky Smokes story that kind of popped up on the blog.
13:53Where Dave wrote that he's getting investigated by the NHL.
13:55It's kind of tongue in cheek.
13:57Should I talk about how he just DM'd me on Instagram the other day and asked me how to make friends?
14:00Yes.
14:01Wait, is he going to hate me?
14:02Nicky Smokes DM'd you?
14:03Yeah, I have it. It's on my phone.
14:05He DM'd me on Instagram and was like, how do you make friends?
14:08I was at a run club and didn't talk to anybody.
14:10Yeah, maybe that could be a bigger thing.
14:12Wait, am I going to?
14:13Oh my god.
14:14I don't know about all that.
14:16Talk about this unhealthy debate with me.
14:18I'm going on in the next 10 minutes.
14:20And they asked me to see if you wanted to be on it.
14:22Does anyone have a direct line?
14:24Don't say that we asked you about this.
14:26Okay, I'm going on in the next 10 minutes.
14:28I'm just going to say, do you want to talk about this?
14:31On how to debate.
14:32Making friends on how to debate.
14:34You got to stop with talk to text.
14:36It drives me up a wall.
14:38Guys, I can't spell. I'm dyslexic.
14:39I think you're talking to me.
14:41Wait, do you want to talk about making friends?
14:46Wait, should I wait?
14:47Does she talk about this?
14:48So he DM'd me on Instagram and set up my story.
14:51And was like, mad random LOL, but watch your TikTok the other day.
14:55How do you just talk to everyone?
14:56Do you just get to the point where you don't give a fuck?
14:59Or I went to this run club thing with 800 people and didn't say a word.
15:03And I was like, haha.
15:04I literally talked to anyone with a pulse.
15:06I just start yapping to people and hope they listen.
15:08I kind of just have the mindset that everyone wants to have a conversation,
15:11but not everyone wants to initiate it.
15:13Healthy debate.
15:14Should I answer Nikki smokes DMs?
15:16I did.
15:17That was, I was like, I was like, that's good.
15:19Whoever just said that.
15:20Is that good?
15:21That's good.
15:22See, I'm all for baby.
15:24Let's go.
15:25Let's go.
15:26I'm firing on all cylinders.
15:27Answer with good ideas.
15:29He just said no.
15:30He just said no.
15:31He has to wait for a college football of 25 to draw.
15:33Hell yeah.
15:34I can't, I can't blame him too much there.
15:36He said he's waiting to draw.
15:38What do I do?
15:39You can sewer him.
15:44I didn't hear.
15:45He said you could sewer him.
15:47So do I just leave him on red?
15:49Yeah, I don't know.
15:50Sorry, Nikki smokes.
15:52You're going to.
15:54Oh, report.
15:58Okay.
15:59I will.
16:00I go to this meeting to, you know, try to get good stuff for this office.
16:04And all I've heard is how much the people who sit in the gambling cave for like 12 hours
16:09a day.
16:10Hate those chairs.
16:11Yeah.
16:12That's why I was like, there could be a compromise.
16:13Right.
16:14So I mentioned, I said, Hey, the people who, you know, sit in the gambling cave all the
16:17time have mentioned that they put those chairs, more comfortable chairs with chargers and
16:21cup holders.
16:22And they said, great, we'll get new chairs.
16:24I walk in this morning and multiple people tried to rip my head off for trying to get
16:29that's an exaggeration.
16:30Who ripped your head off?
16:31No one.
16:32So some people do want me.
16:34So here's the thing.
16:39180 pounds.
16:42You want new chairs?
16:43Some people don't.
16:44Yeah.
16:45And everybody just yells at me about it.
16:46So I just have to know.
16:47I came over here to talk because I actually, I was actually, you weren't.
16:51No, I was going to ask Marty because I heard that Marty and Marty and Plummer like the
16:56chairs.
16:57I know.
16:58Absolutely.
16:59Okay.
17:00So then I was like, maybe that's three people.
17:01Rico also likes chairs.
17:02I mean, Rico just, I'm not going to say, but like, I'm not trying to get rid of all the
17:11chairs.
17:12I mean, I don't think they would replace the chairs with other chairs.
17:15Well, no couch.
17:16I guess that's it.
17:17My thing was never came up.
17:18Okay.
17:20So that's what people were saying.
17:22See, that's the miscommunication.
17:23Someone made that up.
17:24Probably.
17:25Well, I mean, we've been asking for couches since like day one.
17:27I didn't make anything up.
17:29Phil.
17:30I heard it.
17:31You were talking about the chairs.
17:32You did say that you'd heard couches were in play.
17:35I thought my idea was the chairs up top stay.
17:39And then like, maybe there's one couch.
17:41I would even say like some of the chairs stay.
17:43I'm not a fan of the chairs.
17:44I just want a fair election between everyone here.
17:48Okay.
17:49So where are we at on the chairs?
17:50I already canceled the new chair.
17:52Probably wrong couch.
17:53I thought half and half.
17:54Yeah.
17:55That's why I was.
17:56I thought you weren't getting stuck on the couch.
17:57No.
17:58So you guys know Kim?
17:59You guys.
18:00How about this?
18:01You three.
18:02I'm also.
18:03A hundred percent.
18:04Without a doubt.
18:05Unless like Dave and big cutter here get the chairs.
18:09I'll agree with that.
18:10Like I'll never take a chair from you.
18:12I don't care.
18:13I don't care.
18:14Okay.
18:16With your names.
18:17Yeah.
18:18That's Clemmons chair.
18:19That's F share.
18:20That's Marty.
18:21Like that's fair.
18:22This is a compromise.
18:23I'm like, yeah.
18:24As long as it's not basically as long as there's a chair for me to sit in there.
18:26There's dreams.
18:27I don't care.
18:28I think nothing has to be updated in this office.
18:29All right.
18:32Acting asking for something we didn't ask for.
18:34I thought I heard a lot of people say that they hated the chair.
18:38I wasn't trying to come at you.
18:39I wanted to come over here and have a conversation.
18:41We did.
18:42We did.
18:44We had a great time.
18:45Because I got texted earlier.
18:46That's like Marty Clement.
18:47Let's clap it up.
18:48Like, okay.
18:49I'm going to go.
18:56I went up to the mouth of anyone.
18:59That's good.
19:00The loudest mouth is me.
19:01You create so many problems.
19:03I told me you're trying to be a dictator.
19:05That's the worst way to say something.
19:08Well, I mean, I'd like him to not be a dictator.
19:10That was a big one.
19:12He was making changes without consulting people.
19:16You don't go up to someone and say, hey, you being a dictator.
19:20Oh, yeah.
19:21I think.
19:22Well, we got our solution.
19:28I just started the conversation.
19:31No.
19:32No.
19:33Loud mouth Phil.
19:34That's what they call him.
19:36But, yeah, there was some discussion about maybe adding a couch or something.
19:40Do you realize those chairs are actually quite comfortable?
19:43One.
19:44Number two.
19:45They can be.
19:46I just plugged one in.
19:48They have chargers.
19:49We just haven't plugged those chairs in.
19:51If you plug those chairs in, you have chargers.
19:54The whole office will have chargers.
19:57Everyone sitting in there will have a physical charger attached to their arm.
20:01You got to plug these things in.
20:04Those chairs are fine.
20:06Nothing wrong with that.
20:09Hey, let me see those smooth cheeks.
20:12In the line of fire.
20:15Want to see if I can catch an arrow out of midair?
20:18Let me fire one at your stomach and see if it sticks.
20:21Catch it, catch it, catch it.
20:24Oh, I'd like my hand is in the way.
20:29He's back.
20:36He climaxed.
20:39He climaxed.
20:41He climaxed.