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00:00:00Like, it's not even that it's complicated numbers, it's addition and subtraction and
00:00:06that's literally it.
00:00:10This is kind of why I don't much care, this is why, like, this is kind of what I mean
00:00:14when I say that, like, the fanbase for D&D today, like, it just, it annoys me because
00:00:19it always felt like basically, it felt like any concept of playing the game just kind
00:00:25of went away in favor of memeing.
00:00:29Oh, can I, can I do this?
00:00:32Ah ha ha ha ha ha, yes.
00:00:37Yeah.
00:00:39Oh, yeah, well, D&D now it is.
00:00:43Imagine if D&D had been the last of them.
00:00:46Yeah, when you put it that way, like, I haven't, I haven't played 5th edition in quite a few
00:00:50years and I've been doing other modules as a result, but yeah, that sums up a lot of
00:00:54my problems with, like, just, every time I roll up to the table and I want to play
00:00:59tabletop games, everyone just wants to play 5th edition D&D.
00:01:05There's just, like, no space for other games.
00:01:09Yeah, I think it's, I think it's partially Critical Role's fault, honestly.
00:01:13Like, when I think about, like, the kind of person who plays D&D now, I think about Pickles
00:01:19McBurgerson.
00:01:21Ha ha.
00:01:22No.
00:01:23What?
00:01:24Really, really, hang on.
00:01:26There's Pickles McBurgerson.
00:01:29That sounds like a Rick and Morty joke.
00:01:32That kind of does sound like a Rick and Morty thing, but I've never watched Rick and Morty.
00:01:40I have complicated feelings about Critical Role.
00:01:45Sorry, I thought you said I have a complicated penis.
00:01:49No feelings around Critical Role.
00:01:51Sorry.
00:01:52I have complicated feelings about Critical Role because, yeah, it has changed a lot of
00:01:59perceptions about D&D, and a lot of negative attitudes towards the gameplay of D&D.
00:02:09Like, it's really negatively influenced the D&D gameplay space, but it's very clear that
00:02:15it didn't mean to do it.
00:02:17Yeah.
00:02:19I mean, Critical Role is just theater nerds wanting to have fun together, and it kind
00:02:23of exploded.
00:02:24Okay, here it is.
00:02:25It's this Tumblr post.
00:02:26Playing D&D with my dad's Cizet friends blows because they're way too into combat mechanics
00:02:31and don't understand you're supposed to be having fun.
00:02:33But on the other hand, I play a giant non-binary furball necromancer named Pickles McBurgerson
00:02:39who has orange hair and keeps resurrecting the enemies we kill and gives them therapy,
00:02:42and it's baffling to all these 40-something men who have never actually had fun playing
00:02:46D&D.
00:02:48Now, if you and your friends were basically just doing a very simple dungeon-delving D&D
00:02:54session, and one of your friend's kids joined and made, like, the most one-dimensional meme
00:03:02character in the world, and then went on to fucking, like, and then you found out that
00:03:07they were shit-talking you all behind your back, would that be the worst person at the
00:03:12table?
00:03:14Yeah.
00:03:17I personally don't believe in talking behind someone's back.
00:03:20If I have a problem with them, I'm going to tell them.
00:03:23Yeah, but other people do not follow that.
00:03:26Yeah, well, those people are dumb and stupid.
00:03:29You know what's funny?
00:03:30Aren't you not talking behind their back?
00:03:31You know what's funny is, like, imagine it goes the other way.
00:03:34No, I'm not, because I am broadcasting this with my mind.
00:03:38Floofy.
00:03:39Floofy.
00:03:40Floofy.
00:03:42Floofy.
00:03:44I thought he was talking.
00:03:45Some of you guys are really bad at listening to other people.
00:03:49Like, imagine being on the other side of that.
00:03:52Basically, you're part of a group, and one of the players, your friend's kid, just has
00:04:00this really wacky concept for a character, and you're just like, man, Dave's kid's kind
00:04:05of weird, but whatever.
00:04:07Not going to lie, I would rather play with their dad's friends.
00:04:19Fair enough.
00:04:20I think the therapy resurrecting thing's kind of funny.
00:04:25Yeah, but that's only in a group that wants to do that sort of thing.
00:04:31Yeah, that's the other thing.
00:04:33You kind of got to get everyone on the same page.
00:04:36That's why you usually have the session zero and stuff, where you're like, right, what
00:04:40are we doing?
00:04:43Are we being serious?
00:04:44Are we being dumb?
00:04:45Are we being somewhere in between?
00:04:46I'm sure they had a session zero.
00:04:49Like I said, it doesn't seem like there's an actual conflict at the table.
00:04:53This person's just being a bitch behind everyone else's back.
00:04:57Now that you frame it like that, yeah, that sounds a bit dumb as well.
00:05:01Yeah, because here's the thing.
00:05:03In my experience, you have two kinds of D&D players.
00:05:08You have the person who just makes a very standard human fighter and doesn't role play
00:05:12a whole lot, but then 20 sessions in, they'll have their character drop some nugget of backstory
00:05:19that just makes everything they do all that more interesting.
00:05:24And it takes them a little while, but they get into it.
00:05:28Yeah.
00:05:29I want to do like a mentally unstable character.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:32I'm not done.
00:05:33I'm not done.
00:05:34I'm not done yet.
00:05:35And then you've got the guy who makes Bardy McBardface, who just tries the whole game to
00:05:41be funny, but they aren't funny.
00:05:43And their character never evolved beyond I'm a bard lol.
00:05:48It's like the first time I tried playing Baldur's Gate multiplayer with anyone.
00:05:52It was like with a friend of mine, Ethan, and another friend, Robert.
00:05:55And Robert decided to be a druid, and he turned into a bear, and pretty much we never
00:05:59made it out of Irenicus' dungeon because he kept fucking around with everything and
00:06:02springing traps and going, but I'm a bear!
00:06:07With that guy.
00:06:09Damn.
00:06:10He's using D&D to be a bitch.
00:06:13Yeah.
00:06:14Okay.
00:06:16If I come up with a character like that, I make a stupid Tumblr post about it.
00:06:19I don't actually try to use that character because that would suck for everything.
00:06:24The first time I actually tried sitting down for an actual game of 5th edition, and immediately
00:06:32there were two bards in the group, and one of them immediately started causing problems.
00:06:36Dungeon Master basically says, okay, so you can take this mountain path and you can go
00:06:40into this cave.
00:06:41And then the bard pipes up going, by the way, we're being chased by an entire village.
00:06:46What?
00:06:47Because I pissed them off and they want to kill us.
00:06:50And so the first thing I did in that entire session was, I'm going to kill him.
00:06:55I'm going to kill the bard.
00:06:59Like, we start off with a pretty straightforward concept, and then immediately one of the bards
00:07:04goes, oh, by the way, before the whole session started, I was literally the worst.
00:07:09And the other bard was a furry who kept barking every time he was told to speak.
00:07:14Oh, my God.
00:07:16Do you guys remember the movie Gamers Darkness Rising?
00:07:21No, but that sounds like the most generic title I've ever heard.
00:07:26Okay.
00:07:28Go on.
00:07:30It's one of the most cultural D&D movies to ever come out on YouTube.
00:07:39And it's just the environment that D&D existed in 30 to 20 years ago made manifest as a movie.
00:07:53It's absolutely wonderful.
00:07:54I love it so much.
00:07:57Yeah, I used to play quite a bit of D&D at my uni's game tabletop society.
00:08:04But it just ran against the HEMA society I was also at, so I basically just went, well,
00:08:13if I had to pick one to just go to, I'm just going to pick the one where I get to hit other
00:08:19people with plastic swords.
00:08:23I hear these heinous stories about bards, and then there's my party's bard who's a chill
00:08:26dude who just wants to make us money.
00:08:28I feel lucky.
00:08:29See, the thing is, is like, the bard as a class, it just attracts people who want to
00:08:35cause problems.
00:08:38It's not necessarily that the, like, oh man, my party's bard is great.
00:08:41Yeah, you're like, yours probably want it.
00:08:44That's probably the class they wanted to be.
00:08:46But then there's people who are just like, I want to be a bard so I can do the shenanigans.
00:08:53Yeah.
00:08:54They're the kind of person who, like, they really want to be the one doing shenanigans
00:08:59and everything.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:02I'm not going to deny that, considering the fact that I've made, like, a bard character
00:09:07that's kind of that, just does some shenanigans on occasion.
00:09:12I'm not going to be a bard.
00:09:14I've never played a bard once.
00:09:17The only bardic character I ever played was, like, a changeling rogue who, like, moonlighted
00:09:24a bard.
00:09:25I didn't even get past first session with it.
00:09:27It was boring as piss.
00:09:30In my current campaign, I'm planning to do a emotionally unstable wizard who is just
00:09:37incredibly jumpy.
00:09:40But at the same time, he's not just going to blow up the entire building because someone
00:09:44sneezed.
00:09:46Oh.
00:09:57My favorite character is also wizard, but is a transportation wizard who is also warforged.
00:10:07And her entire deal is that she's a nursery robot who really wants to magically create
00:10:15her own magical nursery.
00:10:22So she's working towards the age of a spell, what is called the mansion spell.
00:10:29Huh.
00:10:30That's her goal.
00:10:33That's...
00:10:34I like that.
00:10:36I like that a lot, actually.
00:10:39Yeah, Morten can't use the mansion.
00:10:46And she has, like...
00:10:50She's made of ceramics and into her stomach.
00:10:54She's, like, a little dead.
00:10:56And she has, like, freshly baked cookies inside.
00:11:16Hmm.
00:11:36Person with the warforged character, you have a nice voice.
00:11:42Oh, thank you.
00:11:46You do have a nice voice.
00:11:50Thank you.
00:11:52There.
00:11:54This is gonna feel good.
00:12:10Everyone's getting bullied!
00:12:17Ugh, how do I make this look right?
00:12:22Ugh.
00:12:25I am so good at breathing.
00:12:29I've been in this drawing for hours and I just can't get it to look right.
00:12:34I'm struggling to breathe normally at the moment.
00:12:38No, that's just my mantra.
00:12:40I'm so good at breathing.
00:12:44Oh.
00:12:45Well, I'm physically sick, so...
00:12:47Hooray!
00:12:48Hmm.
00:12:50I'm just in the state where, like, breathing has become...
00:12:55Voluntary instead of involuntary.
00:12:59That doesn't sound ideal.
00:13:02No, we good, we good.
00:13:05Be chillin', be chillin'.
00:13:06I cast nuh-uh.
00:13:08Feels like a lot of my players...
00:13:09Nuh-uh.
00:13:10Clear comms, clear comms, clear comms.
00:13:12I'm the only one who feels like a lot of my players I'm running with one game
00:13:15are wanting to play an MMO over a role-playing tabletop RPG.
00:13:18I limit races and classes appropriate to a campaign's themes
00:13:21rather than I ban Erekor because I can't deal with flight and I just...
00:13:24I like to see some interesting characters.
00:13:26I had to ban multi-classing because I want those characters not
00:13:30I am a five wizard, two fighter, three rogue, mid-maxing, basically.
00:13:34Luckily, things work out well, but still.
00:13:36Am I better off with a different system?
00:13:38Maybe.
00:13:39Uh...
00:13:41I mean...
00:13:44Look, the truth is we're just in a time where RPG players are going to be mid-maxing.
00:13:50Like, it's just...
00:13:52It's now just a baseline aspect of RPGs.
00:13:55And admittedly, WoW really didn't help.
00:13:57Like, there are some behaviors in WoW Player...
00:13:59There are some absolutely sweaty behaviors among even casual WoW players
00:14:03you would not see in any other MMO.
00:14:07And no attempt by Blizzard to breed that out of the players is going to work.
00:14:13Other than just straight up not letting the...
00:14:15Other than just kind of what they did with Mists of Pandaria time running,
00:14:21which was to basically...
00:14:23Anytime you find a way to grind things out to get a lot of power really quickly,
00:14:28we're going to take it away from you.
00:14:30Play the game properly.
00:14:33But I think at some point it's basically like...
00:14:35You basically just have to say it's like,
00:14:36No. No min-maxing. Play the game.
00:14:40You could do just very traditional rolls,
00:14:44which is basically roll for the stat, roll for the stat, roll for the stat,
00:14:48and you don't get to min-max.
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:57To answer the second part of that thing with...
00:15:01Am I better off with a different system?
00:15:03Different systems facilitate different things and different types of gameplay.
00:15:07So, like, if you want to roleplay more political games,
00:15:11I would go with Vampire the Masquerade or anything within the World of Darkness.
00:15:16If you really want to really roleplay heavy games,
00:15:19but where min-maxing is not a thing,
00:15:23I would go Mutant Mastermind, for example,
00:15:28or any free-form system like that.
00:15:35Um...
00:15:50Uh, Rose, Rose, nobody can hear you.
00:15:53Yeah.
00:15:54Oh, um, sorry.
00:15:56You were sounding like this, and you were just completely inlegible.
00:16:04Yo, Pyro, I'm...
00:16:06So, just pull back from your mic a little bit and speak and enunciate a little more.
00:16:12Okay, sorry.
00:16:14To answer the question was, I recommend Call of Cthulhu,
00:16:19specifically because the way the class and stuff work in that game
00:16:23is those are more for your roleplay and your character than any stats.
00:16:27Your stats and shit are decided by you and the DM,
00:16:31as are enemies and stuff.
00:16:33They are completely decided by the DM,
00:16:35and justifiably at the start of the game.
00:16:38It heavily limits your ability to, like, min-max.
00:16:43You just have to play a character you want to play,
00:16:46not the one you think can do the damage to, like, a Hellbeast or some shit.
00:16:57Um...
00:16:58If you really want to make it work with the system you are working with,
00:17:02just basically, if you play with the same players a lot,
00:17:05just basically say,
00:17:06guys, it's really not fun trying to work around your min-maxing.
00:17:12Please just play an interesting character.
00:17:15Mm-hmm.
00:17:16Because, like, you're the DM. You have the right to have fun, too.
00:17:19Mm-hmm.
00:17:20Yeah, that's the most important aspect.
00:17:23Like, everyone should have fun, including the DM.
00:17:26Um...
00:17:30I mean, the way I used to design my own characters in D&D was just like,
00:17:35okay, I want to play this sort of character.
00:17:38Of all these stats that I just rolled,
00:17:41which one would suit this character in this particular stat?
00:17:47And then I would just build my character around that.
00:17:51It's like, when I'm playing a psychotic necromancer girl,
00:17:59I don't think she's going to have that high of a core,
00:18:02so I'm just going to give her the low roll, and that's that.
00:18:08I just think that's the best way to make a character.
00:18:12Have a character in mind, get your rolls out,
00:18:16and assign them how you think the character would exist.
00:18:38Like, look at this.
00:18:41Blindness. Blind a creature.
00:18:43Attack rolls against it have advantage, and the foe attacks with disadvantage.
00:18:47In Baldur's Gate 1 and 2, blindness actually blinded the enemy.
00:18:52As in, they literally could not attack in melee.
00:18:59Oh, wow.
00:19:00Mm-hmm.
00:19:01This wasn't like, you have disadvantage.
00:19:03This was, you can't see shit, you can't attack shit.
00:19:07Go fuck yourself.
00:19:09Yeah.
00:19:10Yeah.
00:19:11Cast a dispel magic, bitch.
00:19:15Blindness is actually a very powerful early-game spell
00:19:18that remains useful in the original games,
00:19:22because right up to throwing a ball,
00:19:25if you've got melee enemies swarming around you,
00:19:29a couple blinds on them, they're out of the fight.
00:19:35I'm going to head off now. I'll see you later.
00:19:38All right. Okay. Bye.
00:19:40Love you. Enjoy the rest of the stream, everyone.
00:19:46See ya.
00:19:52We're down to bread.
00:19:54Dear Freedom, what forms do you take?
00:19:58More miles driven.
00:20:00More dollars saved.
00:20:02More life embraced.
00:20:06And more electrified vehicles than any other brand.
00:20:09Yours, Toyota.
00:20:12That's right.
00:20:13Toyota has more electrified vehicles than any other brand.
00:20:19Find yours at toyota.com.
00:20:21Toyota, let's go places.
00:20:26What does it mean to be a mama?
00:20:28Let's go.
00:20:29Here, try.
00:20:30It means always balancing everything.
00:20:33Alexa, what's the weather?
00:20:34The weather is 67 degrees.
00:20:36Managing kids and work all the time.
00:20:38Alexa, call Yasmina.
00:20:40Good morning, Yas.
00:20:42Today, busy, busy day.
00:20:43And getting it all done all at once.
00:20:45All right. Well, I will see you at the office.
00:20:47I'm headed there now. I'm going to drop off the kids first.
00:20:50My echo frames make sure I never miss a thing.
00:20:56All right, up next.
00:20:57Youngest team ever to clinch a one seed in history.
00:21:01He was impressive with the way he played.
00:21:03He can pass, he can shoot, he can score at all three levels.
00:21:06Arguably the greatest athlete in the history of the world.
00:21:10Boom, here they come.
00:21:11Trash talking is a lifestyle.
00:21:13I love it. Do it, do it, do it.
00:21:16I think that he's going to get the ball in his hands a lot.
00:21:18Epic run, epic team.
00:21:20The king is back.
00:21:21Check it out anytime on Amazon Music.
00:21:28Build an accuracy, yeah.
00:21:31Which lets you roll whenever you have advantage on a weapon or spell attack.
00:21:36Using intelligence, dexterity or wisdom or charisma.
00:21:43You can roll additional one more time.
00:21:48So double advantage.
00:21:52It's the only way in D&D 5e where you can have double advantage.
00:22:00God, why does everybody have to level up at the same time?
00:22:23Where are you?
00:22:26This game was designed by people who hate having fun and playing it.
00:22:37This game was coded by a battalion of barely trained Gibbons.
00:22:50That's disparaging to barely trained Gibbons.
00:22:56Here we go, penalty to attack rolls and saving throws, as God intended.
00:23:01Okay.
00:23:24Speaking of cursed shit, talk about D&D and how min-maxing is dumb.
00:23:29Well, it is dumb.
00:23:46Okay, well she's unconscious, let's get the hell out of here.
00:23:49Someone asked earlier, is that why people hate 1 D&D's natural nat 20's and 1 flying 2's, penalty attacks and saving throws?
00:24:09What was that?
00:24:11Someone said, is that why people hate 1 D&D's natural 20's and 1 flying 2's, penalty attacks and saving throws?
00:24:26I don't know.
00:24:29I have read up on 1 D&D, I don't like it for other reasons.
00:24:33You will see something that has nothing to do with 1 D&D itself.
00:24:50Oh right, the last goblin leader.
00:24:53Oh, wait a minute, I... there's a...
00:25:03Give me that key.
00:25:34Oh, Karlak leveled up.
00:25:36Look up a D&D on YouTube about how to pull stupid bullshit, that on a broad level is min-maxing.
00:25:43I mean, when you really think about it, even at the small scale, like in BG1, how basically sleep is the most broken ability in the game is technically...
00:26:00Is technically min-maxing.
00:26:04Oh, I already have proficiency with fucking everything.
00:26:13Uh, great weapon master, with a melee weapon attack.
00:26:18Any attacks with melee weapons that you are proficient with and are wielding in both hands, you can deal additional 10 damage at the cost of 5 attack roll.
00:26:26You know what, fuck it, I'm just gonna go with ability improvement to give you 19 strength.
00:26:33Because that's apparently a thing I can do, which I am absolutely going to abuse.
00:26:37Ha, absolutely.
00:26:40Actually, the ability score improvement is not...
00:26:45I think it's just so powerful in D&D 5e.
00:26:54Especially if you have a weapon master.
00:26:56If you have a weapon master, it's just broken.
00:27:04I guess I'm funny.
00:27:07I can definitely say that I like the campaign of D&D I'm playing with a few people, but I can't really say I like playing D&D as a whole that much.
00:27:23I'd say it depends on the group for me too, I don't really like playing D&D as a whole.
00:27:27I much prefer games like Lancer or Only War.
00:27:30Stuff that isn't a roleplaying game more than just an excuse to play tabletop skirmish games instead.
00:27:40Oh yeah, like XCOM.
00:27:42Yeah, I'm a...
00:27:44I mean, first and foremost, I'm a wargamer first.
00:27:48It's just where my hobbies lie, I play miniatures.
00:27:52I play skirmish games.
00:27:54It's just what I like.
00:27:55You might like HeroQuest, it's kind of like this weird middleman between wargaming and a tabletop game.
00:28:02I have heard good things about that and also Cyberpunk Red.
00:28:08Specifically because...
00:28:09I love HeroQuest, I think it's one of the best wargames ever made.
00:28:18Newblood is happy that you mentioned Lancer.
00:28:22Yeah.
00:28:24I love Lancer.
00:28:26It's a good game.
00:28:30I'm normal and healthy about mechs, what are you on?
00:28:47Aggressively petting my cat is to avoid talking about mechs again.
00:28:54Um...
00:28:59Oh, shit, I was mentioning Cyberpunk Red.
00:29:01Yeah, no, I've heard good things about Cyberpunk Red if you like skirmish games.
00:29:04Because they have a firefight-style skirmish game that is compatible with Cyberpunk Red, like the tabletop game.
00:29:16I don't...
00:29:17I'm not sure how they're backwards compatible, but yeah, I've heard that you can have a session and then have it go into combat.
00:29:24And the combat is just you and your friends playing this skirmish game.
00:29:30That sounds good.
00:29:32And somehow the rules cross over with each other.
00:29:37I have to look into it more though.
00:29:48I don't know, I like min-maxing, but only if everyone at the table is like...
00:29:52That's kind of like...
00:29:56It's just not the vibe I get from D&D.
00:30:01Min-maxing has its place in systems where it's built to be broken with people at the table who want to break it.
00:30:07With the DM who wants you to push them.
00:30:11And just every D&D table is not that.
00:30:15Warhammer is a really good example of a system like that.
00:30:24I actually hate Warhammer 40k.
00:30:28So do I.
00:30:32I wish my hobby didn't have a Nazi problem, but here we are.
00:30:36What hobby? Warhammer?
00:30:38Warhammer.
00:30:39Warhammer 40k.
00:30:40Well, I mean...
00:30:42You look at the way everyone's characterized in Warhammer and I feel like...
00:30:47That's a game that was always broadcasting we were made specifically for Nazis.
00:30:53No, well, I mean, the marketing is not helping, that's for damn sure.
00:30:58Back in the 70s...
00:31:01No, it was actually incredibly critical of imperialism and fascism.
00:31:07I know that, but the thing is...
00:31:11The kind of thing where it's really critical, but at the same time it plays everything very goofy and funny...
00:31:19That goes over the heads of most people.
00:31:21And at the end of the day, your satire was a failure.
00:31:27If Warhammer really does have a Nazi problem, it utterly failed at the satire it was trying to be.
00:31:34And yeah, you're right.
00:31:36And also the marketing behind Games Workshop as a company is utterly trying to shoot its satire in the foot.
00:31:42When the Aeronautica Imperialis book came out...
00:31:46Rather, the starter set where Space Marines versus Eldar, Space Elves...
00:31:51This was during that period of time where the fandom utterly, completely had a meltdown...
00:31:57Because there was a new book that came out that just had a black Space Marine on the cover.
00:32:01Yes, it was because of that.
00:32:03That's how bad of a problem it is.
00:32:05And so they had to make a Warhammer is for everyone community post.
00:32:09And then they released this box, which the advertising specifically inside the box...
00:32:15Called the Space Marines the Emperor's Angels and Warriors of Light.
00:32:20Whereas the word Eldar had the title of Filthy Xenos and had fire in the background.
00:32:30Your marketing is not helping at all!
00:32:35I mean, it certainly did not help when they made Space Marines and especially the Ultra Marines their poster children.
00:32:44God, yeah.
00:32:46This is why I'm into Age of Sigmar.
00:32:48This is the fantasy, the updated fantasy setting.
00:32:51Because I am a normal person.
00:32:54Who has a job and friends and family.
00:33:02I kind of wanted to get into Warhammer.
00:33:08But the problem was I had already been into Pokemon TCG.
00:33:14So I was kind of done with spending inadvisable amounts of money on tabletop games.
00:33:22I got offered either I play Magic the Gathering or I play Warhammer.
00:33:26And I chose plastic, not cardboard.
00:33:28They both cannot exist.
00:33:30Your bank account will not let that happen.
00:33:34Just have some money, I'll just print money.
00:33:42Yeah, but if I pretend it doesn't exist, then it doesn't exist.
00:33:45Seriously guys, this is like the greatest plan.
00:33:49The IRS disagrees.
00:33:59I suppose I could just print proxies.
00:34:01I do that, a lot.
00:34:03Yeah.
00:34:04Okay, be your back on topic.
00:34:06Yeah, but then GW is going to have a history quiz.
00:34:12What's the topic again?
00:34:14Look on your screen.
00:34:17I have all this data.
00:34:25So who's the best character of your companions?
00:34:29Well, me, obviously, because I've utterly broken the game.
00:34:36Oh yeah, Carlack.
00:34:38The best characterized?
00:34:40Will, no contest.
00:34:42It's basically Will, Carlack, and then a bunch of terrible characters nobody likes.
00:34:51What was that for?
00:34:53Sorry, I heard Carlack and my immediate cringe.
00:34:57Nothing wrong with her or her character personally.
00:35:00I swear to God, if I have to hear one of my IRL friends tell me to my face,
00:35:05Oh my God, baby girl, you're just like Carlack.
00:35:08I'm going to eat, punch a hole in drywall, and then eat it.
00:35:12Oh, I understand. Good Lord.
00:35:16That sounds horrible.
00:35:22I don't like both my trauma and my way that I've been dealing with it,
00:35:29i.e. my butchness, just kind of packaged in this marketable character
00:35:36that's now being spewed at me in conversation. I don't like that.
00:35:40Yeah, there's a character I saw that a few people have compared me to,
00:35:44and I'm just like, you're not wrong, but also fuck you.
00:35:50It wouldn't happen to do anything with you.
00:35:52Do not, do not.
00:35:57I'll mention that on stream.
00:36:01Message received, Will.
00:36:03Oh, fuck, I wish, I wish people would compare me to Sylvanas Windrunner.
00:36:09You know, before I transitioned, people used to say I looked like Orlando Bloom.
00:36:16See, now I have to look that up.
00:36:20Nah, you won't have the context unless you see how I looked before pre-transition.
00:36:27Sometimes the only way out is through.
00:36:30I mean, the earliest I remember seeing you was your video with Josh.
00:36:38Yeah, that'd be it.
00:36:42I lost that shirt, which is a shame.
00:36:48I don't remember which shirt it was, but honestly,
00:36:51people really feel the need to go back and re-watch that video, honestly.
00:36:54Good, good, please, please never go back and watch that video.
00:36:59Oh, goodness, I should have hit the rest button before I started.
00:37:04That's, uh, oof. That's quite the thing to walk into.
00:37:17Oh, no, you guys don't have your...
00:37:25Playtime, two hours, 23 minutes. If I quicksave now...
00:37:36Three hours to... Oh!
00:37:42Why is this game autosave with, like, no fucking frequency?
00:37:48Why are you utterly horrible with your autosave?
00:37:51Oh, you can't get out of this.
00:37:54Why are you the way that you are?
00:37:57The hell I can't!
00:38:02Well, Lily, just try your best. We believe.
00:38:08Welcome to hell, it sucks, you're going to hell.
00:38:15I'm gonna go talk to my roommate.
00:38:18I wanna make a brownie face to take a Polarian.
00:38:22Vortex of the Boreal Valley starts playing.
00:38:25You know, let's, let's get some music for this!
00:38:29Oh, hang on.
00:38:35It's just Elden Ring, just Elden Ring music plays on my phone.
00:38:38Elden Ring! Oh, hell no, hell no, hell no.
00:38:41We're going hard fucking core here.
00:38:45We're going Kingdom Hearts 3.
00:38:50We're going Kingdom Hearts, I bet you.
00:39:14Knees high.
00:39:16Wow, so much for peace.
00:39:21Nothing will stand in my way.
00:39:45Ugh!
00:40:02What is that playing in the background?
00:40:05Rage Awakens.
00:40:07Ah.
00:40:14Hmm.
00:40:44Hmm.
00:41:09Ah, okay.
00:41:10Because I, because I'm not watching this on the, uh...
00:41:15On the Twitch stream, that's, uh, like, I can barely hear it here on the Discord stream.
00:41:21Yeah.
00:41:22Yeah, it's because the Discord stream doesn't have my speakers, it only has the one program.
00:41:27Yeah.
00:41:28But I can still hear it from, like, your background, it's just here in my list.
00:41:34What?
00:41:36I just hopped onto the Twitch stream, I'm just like, oh, yep, that's Rage Awakens.
00:41:48But hey, I guessed right, it was Kingdom Hearts.
00:41:53What exactly is the plot behind Baldur's Gate?
00:41:57There's a worm in your brain.
00:41:59That's it.
00:42:00Oh, that's...
00:42:04I love having worms in my brain.
00:42:06Yeah, there's a worm in your brain that's gonna turn into a mic.
00:42:10You're just trying to get rid of it.
00:42:13It's...
00:42:15It's like getting a rat lung worm.
00:42:21Baldur's Gate, people wearing worms.
00:42:25The plot is the same as the fanbase.
00:42:28Worms in brains.
00:42:34What?
00:42:49On my way.
00:42:52Can't even catch my breath.
00:43:03Baldur's Gate.
00:43:11Now, who was it who said I couldn't do this?
00:43:16I mean, honestly, it was yourself.
00:43:18I said I believed in you.
00:43:21Yeah, I don't think anybody said you couldn't do it.
00:43:24I even started a team.
00:43:25No, someone specifically said there's no getting through this, and it wasn't me.
00:43:33That's true.
00:43:47Oh no, Wilsquazit is gone!
00:43:59I gotta say, Eldritch Blast is satisfying.
00:44:04It's the 50 caliber of a spell.
00:44:15Alright, I'm back.
00:44:17What is that?
00:44:19It's... it's... nevermind.
00:44:23I heard worms in brains.
00:44:27Oh yeah, the plot of Baldur's Gate 3 is there's a worm in your brain, and that's it.
00:44:32Yeah.
00:44:33I have one of those too, and it's telling me to kiss women.
00:44:37That seems kinda straight.
00:44:42Can't have that.
00:44:46Unfortunately, the brain worms in this game are nowhere near as fun as that.
00:44:52What, did they just tell you to kill the children or something?
00:44:55No, that's just a start.
00:44:58Yes, actually.
00:45:00So what kind of worm in brains is it?
00:45:02I don't like killing children, I like harvesting organs.
00:45:05Rimworld moment.
00:45:08So what kind of worm in brains is it? It's like a tadpole?
00:45:12Yeah, it's like...
00:45:14It's a worm that's gonna turn you into a Mind Flayer.
00:45:18Okay, so the Mind Flayer is a tadpole, because there's also the other tadpole.
00:45:22Yeah, it's...
00:45:25The Mind Flayers are the weird space race, right?
00:45:29They're the...
00:45:32They're the octopus men.
00:45:36The HP Lovecraft God.
00:45:42The Mind Flayers are the ones that look like what a horny Tumblr user would draw Cthulhu looking like.
00:45:49The Tumblr sexy man Cthulhu.
00:45:54I was...
00:45:55Yeah, damn, you beat me to it.
00:45:57If an HP Lovecraft creature, if a Bloodborne boss had sex with Slender Man...
00:46:05I mean, there's an actual Bloodborne NPC next to it that is literally a Mind Flayer.
00:46:14The Tumblr sexy beast.
00:46:18There's also the sloth.
00:46:20The sloth is also a thing that makes eggs or worms in your brain.
00:46:26And then you turn into sloth.
00:46:28HP Make Lovecraft.
00:46:31Oh, what's that?
00:46:32Horrible. Horrible.
00:46:36Also, what the...
00:46:38What the hell am I looking at?
00:46:41That's awful.
00:46:44Is that from a dating sim? Cthulhu High?
00:46:49I mean, if you want to do the Cosmic Core dating sim, there is the game Sucker for Love. Pretty good.
00:46:56Wait a minute. It's a real game, by the way.
00:46:58I was right!
00:47:08See, I'm not like everyone else who plays dating sims. I play them for the story and fun and whimsy.
00:47:15Sure.
00:47:17I don't need to date someone electronically. I have three partners.
00:47:23I'm saturated, thank you.
00:47:27Can you share one?
00:47:28No.
00:47:29He's caring.
00:47:36I mean, honestly, jokes aside, it's up to them.
00:47:42I have no ownership of them as human beings. That would be proverbial slavery, and that's not cool.
00:47:49I... because I have an absolute desire for chaos, I am going to take away the user limit in here.
00:48:03Oh no.
00:48:06What does that mean?
00:48:14I mean...
00:48:16Oh, more people can join.
00:48:29Why is my character so filthy?
00:48:33Well, you just got out of a big fight.
00:48:36Go ahead.
00:48:38I'm sorry.
00:48:39I feel it in me. We are lost.
00:48:44Why does Larian write their characters like this?
00:48:47First you, then the others, then myself.
00:49:00Why is Lacelle so... psychotic?
00:49:05Larian removed the alignment system so that you wouldn't notice that all of their characters are chaotic evil.
00:49:21I'd say they put one to the neutral evil alignment.
00:49:28I cannot trust my own mind, so it seems I must trust yours.
00:49:33Lace, I'll put your shirt back on.
00:49:39Just because we reside in a lake does not mean we need to get naked.
00:50:02I don't know, a hair salon? Where do you get your hair done?
00:50:06You go lube or what?
00:50:09Oh, I'm sorry. It's a lovely neighborhood.
00:50:12Marcy, we've got to go!
00:50:13I'm coming!
00:50:14We've got 17,000 more parks to visit.
00:50:17You want to give me a hand?
00:50:19We bring you the best neighborhood info.
00:50:21Bingo!
00:50:22Homes.com
00:50:33Hey, what do you do here?
00:50:37Get a gig that's built to last.
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00:50:52Order now on the app from Papa John's.
00:50:56I was 36,000 feet in the air when...
00:50:59Excuse me, is there a doctor on the plane?
00:51:01I'm a doctor.
00:51:02The name's Umstick.
00:51:03Doctor Umstick.
00:51:05Get my bag, stat.
00:51:09Sweet, creamy relief.
00:51:12Am I going to be okay?
00:51:13I have no idea. I'm not a body doctor.
00:51:15What? Where did you all get those?
00:51:18Can somebody help me?
00:51:21I'm sorry, Bobby.
00:51:23Another day, another drumstick.
00:51:28You must learn to wield it.
00:51:54A fight for the fate of Faerun.
00:51:56A fight we are losing.
00:51:59For now.
00:52:01We can change that, but only if you embrace your potential.
00:52:09Oh, this is just like a nightmare to look at right now for me.
00:52:13I would love to play a fantasy game inspired by medieval Spain.
00:52:18I will be back.
00:52:21Serena's just going...
00:52:23Serena's just looking at this woman like,
00:52:25I thought you were dead!
00:52:28You're supposed to be dead!
00:52:30What's going on? Am I going insane?
00:52:33You'll feel better.
00:52:35I promise.
00:52:39Man, I'm on...
00:52:41Jesus, that was...
00:52:43That was a lot...
00:52:45...visually to take in.
00:52:47Yeah, sorry, I have the same problem.
00:52:49Like, I can't play Final Fantasy XIV because the particle effects fucking...
00:52:55Find mind-flaying parasites around Faerun or unaffected individuals.
00:52:58You can assume them to access illithid powers.
00:53:00Why would I do that?
00:53:04So you can do your chaotic evil playthrough or whatever,
00:53:08where you become a...
00:53:13That was just a lot for me to look at because I'm currently on acid right now.
00:53:18You're on what?
00:53:20You didn't know that this whole time?
00:53:23I've been talking about it in chat this whole day.
00:53:25Yep, I was there.
00:53:27It was...
00:53:29It was fun.
00:53:31Why the fuck are you taking LSD?
00:53:36It's my day off.
00:53:38Had some things I had to work through.
00:53:40Okay, but like, you work through them with like, pot or alcohol, not LSD.
00:53:46Hmm?
00:53:48No, not with alcohol.
00:53:50Definitely not with alcohol.
00:53:52That is a substance that you will never...
00:53:54Ugh, no.
00:53:56Oh, alcohol is no, but LSD, yes.
00:54:00Yes, because psychedelics are much better for you than alcohol.
00:54:03No, they fucking aren't!
00:54:08There is not a single recreational drug that is ever...
00:54:12That you could call healthier.
00:54:14That's a load of horseshit.
00:54:18God, I forgot it's like a...
00:54:21He has flashbacks to being 17.
00:54:25Courtney, put the fucking PCP down, you idiot.
00:54:32So the thing with LSD is that it was actually manufactured for medical use?
00:54:36Mm-hmm.
00:54:37Yeah, and cocaine used to be in Coca-Cola.
00:54:40Coca-Cola, what's your point?
00:54:42The only reason why it was legal?
00:54:45The only reason why it was legal?
00:54:47It's because...
00:54:49Yeah, no, I got you there.
00:54:53Oh my god.
00:54:56Lily, you lost your shit, that was hilarious.
00:54:59Yeah, I lost my shit.
00:55:01I had to listen to that crap my whole life.
00:55:03It's like, oh, alcohol's bad for you, but straight fucking heroin, that's much healthier.
00:55:11I would never do that, alright?
00:55:19Look, it's like, I don't necessarily have a problem with drug use,
00:55:23I have a problem with people basically trying to go...
00:55:28No, no, no, it's like, it's so much healthier, seriously.
00:55:34Okay, just like...
00:55:36Just in the area of the world that I'm in, being in the Midwest,
00:55:41our relationship with alcohol, I've seen it do absolutely nothing
00:55:45other than completely and utterly destroy,
00:55:49and has no...
00:55:51As a substance, if we're talking purely substance,
00:55:53it has no motivation in a person's body other to then destroy.
00:56:00Strangely enough, being one of the very few ones that's legally able to purchase and consume,
00:56:06federally, it's like...
00:56:08That's the point of all recreational substances,
00:56:11you're consuming poison because it makes you feel good.
00:56:16That's not why I do psychedelics at all.
00:56:19Well, it's the same effect.
00:56:23I posted a video...
00:56:25Here's the thing, people keep trying to rank basically every single substance on like,
00:56:29well, this one's healthier than this, and this one's like...
00:56:32No, they're all like a straight zero.
00:56:39I used to get this a lot when we were discussing,
00:56:42whenever Tumblr discussed pot, it was basically like,
00:56:45what's your stance on legalized marijuana?
00:56:47And I'm just like, hey, if you're gonna poison yourself,
00:56:49then we might as well get better roads out of it.
00:56:53And the thing is, that is a pro-marijuana stance,
00:56:56and I would get pages of cope in my inbox of going,
00:57:01actually, there's like a lot of medicinal benefits to marijuana.
00:57:04It's like, yeah, there's medicinal benefits when you take it in like,
00:57:07a pill form prescribed by your doctor.
00:57:09Not you, who smokes six joints a day.
00:57:14Turns out, with like a lot of things,
00:57:17it is a give and take type scenario.
00:57:23Turns out, it's all about moderation.
00:57:26Yeah.
00:57:27Like, if you really want, you can drink like,
00:57:30absolute tons of water and die of overhydration.
00:57:34Yeah.
00:57:35Yeah, I almost did that when I was, when I turned 21.
00:57:43Anything can kill you, if you try hard enough.
00:57:46See, the problem with alcohol is because it's the only social,
00:57:49it's the only substance that has a social aspect.
00:57:52You know, like, drinking socially.
00:57:55As a result, there's always like,
00:57:57it's the only one people will push on you.
00:57:59And they get really cold and really quiet,
00:58:02when you basically say you don't want it.
00:58:04Like, I had a, look, I've dealt with people,
00:58:07who have substance abuse problems.
00:58:09And it doesn't matter what the substance is,
00:58:11it is always terrible for them.
00:58:13Like, my sister was a junkie,
00:58:15and I had to deal with the brunt of it,
00:58:17and she's still a junkie to this day.
00:58:21My ex-fiance was a, my ex-fiance was a booze hound,
00:58:24who racked up like, triple digit bills at,
00:58:27bills at a, a triple digit bill at a restaurant,
00:58:30just off cocktails alone.
00:58:33And it was really fucking weird,
00:58:35about me not wanting to, not wanting to drink.
00:58:38Like, I don't touch pot, because the only time,
00:58:41I have only touched, I have touched pot,
00:58:43exactly five times in my life,
00:58:45and only one of them was willingly.
00:58:48I've done it.
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:50Well, that sounds fun.
00:58:52Yeah, I am also sober,
00:58:56except for some, some psychedelics here and there,
00:58:59but like, being, being queer in the Midwest,
00:59:02it's very isolating, it's incredibly isolating,
00:59:05going to any social event ever,
00:59:07and it's just, for some, like,
00:59:10just the queer community as a whole,
00:59:12has like, a substance abuse problem around alcohol,
00:59:15and the Midwest really does too,
00:59:17and it's just like the, I'll be like,
00:59:19yeah, no, I'm, I'm just drinking water,
00:59:21and then I just get stared at,
00:59:22and no one wants to talk to me,
00:59:23because, yeah.
00:59:25I feel ya, I feel ya.
00:59:27Oh yeah, I'm just saying,
00:59:28very isolating here in Australia.
00:59:30A heads up,
00:59:31we don't actually use that word here either.
00:59:34Okay.
00:59:36Thank you.
00:59:38But yeah, just, fucking hell, like,
00:59:42it's,
00:59:46it's always, it's always,
00:59:48it's always junkies themselves that always bother me,
00:59:51because it's all, because, like,
00:59:53they're the, they will be the first people
00:59:56to basically insist on, like,
00:59:58something's health benefits,
01:00:00and I'm just like,
01:00:02I know that there might be medicinal benefits
01:00:05to certain substances,
01:00:07but not the way you used them.
01:00:11It's like, Courtney,
01:00:12I have seen your fucking face,
01:00:14as it is today.
01:00:16You are methed up.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:21I don't care what any of you say,
01:00:22that was a great pun.
01:00:26It was a good pun.
01:00:36Rose, your mic is sparking out.
01:00:40Yeah, we can't hear a single thing that you're saying.
01:00:43Oh, shit.
01:00:45I'll tell Lily.
01:00:54Nope.
01:00:55All right.
01:00:57Oh, bye, Rose.
01:01:00Oh, there you are.
01:01:01Oh, there you are.
01:01:03All right, I'm back.
01:01:05Hi, Rose.
01:01:06Hi, Rose.
01:01:07That was a good old turn it off and all together.
01:01:10Yeah, what I was saying was,
01:01:12I was talking about, like, substance use,
01:01:14and smoking weed, and alcohol,
01:01:16and shit was starting to remind me
01:01:17of my mother and triggering the fuck out of me,
01:01:19so could we please change the subject?
01:01:21Her death is fair.
01:01:33All right, so Baldur's Gate.
01:01:37Why did Larian write their characters like this?
01:01:41Because they write their characters
01:01:43based off of Tumblr's favorite...
01:01:47Tumblr's favorite sexy man of the...
01:01:49Like, this is, for context,
01:01:51this is my first ever introduction to this game.
01:01:53I've never even seen gameplay of this game
01:01:55in my entire life.
01:01:57Yeah, I earned it, but I've never played it.
01:01:59Would you like to see the worst of the worst?
01:02:03No, it's fine.
01:02:04It's just, like, upon seeing dialogue,
01:02:06I'm like, why is everyone written
01:02:08incredibly one-dimensional
01:02:10and extremely horny
01:02:13for no fucking reason?
01:02:15Yeah, well, yeah, like...
01:02:18Where the fuck?
01:02:19Where the fuck did you go?
01:02:20Lazel, what was with that topless
01:02:22threatening me with a dagger?
01:02:24Like, I want you to answer for that.
01:02:28What is your fucking problem?
01:02:31Well, that had base, like,
01:02:33camp uniform at night.
01:02:36Speaking of the worst...
01:02:40No, we're not interacting with the...
01:02:42They went to a lot of effort
01:02:44to make sure every single character
01:02:46has, like...
01:02:49has a really well-detailed tent.
01:02:51If only they'd put as much detail
01:02:53into their personality.
01:02:56Damn.
01:02:58Damn.
01:03:02Man, do you say tent or tent?
01:03:04I wonder what...
01:03:05I wonder what the campsite
01:03:07for, like, the, uh...
01:03:09for, like, the original games would be.
01:03:15I think, uh...
01:03:18Uh...
01:03:22Would Gorion's Ward and Imoen
01:03:24share a tent?
01:03:26Oh, yeah, you know they do.
01:03:27Initially?
01:03:29Oh, they probably would the whole game.
01:03:35Yeah, Imoen's tent.
01:03:40Wait, Imoen is a thief, right?
01:03:45Uh, yep.
01:03:46A thief in the first game
01:03:47and a thief mage in the second.
01:03:49Yeah, is she, like, just, like...
01:03:51Is just her, like, class
01:03:53thief or the kleptomaniac
01:03:55kind of thief?
01:03:58She's a fun-loving thief.
01:04:01Okay, so the idea of her
01:04:03having a bunch of, like...
01:04:05stuff she steals on her side of the tent,
01:04:07that's, uh...
01:04:10Oh, yeah.
01:04:11Imoen only steals from people
01:04:13who can afford to lose shit.
01:04:15Yeah.
01:04:17But, uh...
01:04:18I didn't know she was just, like, the...
01:04:20just a thief
01:04:22because that's just her class thing
01:04:24or just a thief because...
01:04:26In the Imoen Forever mod,
01:04:28with the, uh...
01:04:30What was it?
01:04:31Uh, in the Imoen Forever mod
01:04:33with, uh...
01:04:35It's...
01:04:36Uh, In Siege of Dragonspear,
01:04:38she tries keeping her thief skill sharp,
01:04:41but then she laments how, like,
01:04:43the refugees have such empty pockets,
01:04:45it's so depressing.
01:04:46And then she goes,
01:04:47I know! I'll steal from the military
01:04:49and slip it into refugees' pockets
01:04:51so that they have money for, like,
01:04:53you know,
01:04:54because they have nothing right now,
01:04:56I'll give them something.
01:04:57And every single instance
01:04:59where it happens,
01:05:00it goes wrong.
01:05:03She slips an angel skin ring
01:05:05into some...
01:05:06She slips an angel skin ring
01:05:07into a refugee's pocket,
01:05:08and then his wife loses it.
01:05:10It's like, you had that
01:05:11the whole time?
01:05:13And you gave me, like,
01:05:14a fucking iron ring
01:05:16to get engaged with?
01:05:18And it's like, oh, no.
01:05:20Slips a few gems
01:05:21into another refugee's pocket
01:05:22and it's like, oh my god,
01:05:23it's mine!
01:05:24And then his friend's like,
01:05:25I thought we were in this together.
01:05:26It's like, fuck you,
01:05:27I'm outta here!
01:05:28Ha ha ha!
01:05:31Damn!
01:05:32It just goes...
01:05:33It just gets worse
01:05:34and worse
01:05:35and worse
01:05:36and worse
01:05:37until eventually you have a con...
01:05:38until eventually you have a conversation
01:05:40where it's like,
01:05:41Imoen, stop slipping things
01:05:42into refugees' pockets.
01:05:47Amazing.
01:05:48Okay.
01:05:49Poor Ibi.
01:05:51You should probably not
01:05:52just give poor people money.
01:05:54You should probably give them, like,
01:05:55the means to get their life on track.
01:05:59I don't think
01:06:00there was a theme behind it.
01:06:01It was just like,
01:06:02I know!
01:06:03I'll steal things
01:06:04and give them to refugees
01:06:05in order for things to go better,
01:06:06in order for things to go better.
01:06:07But Imoen really doesn't
01:06:08think the situation through.
01:06:10Like...
01:06:11Yeah.
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:13Silly Imoen!
01:06:14You should...
01:06:15Why don't you try
01:06:16seizing the means of production?
01:06:17I think...
01:06:18He's too good for this world.
01:06:20Clarecoms...
01:06:21Uh...
01:06:22All the...
01:06:23Like, look,
01:06:24all the refugees in Siege of Dragonspear,
01:06:25they are, like, really on edge
01:06:26so their reactions
01:06:27are understandable.
01:06:41Is that a...
01:06:42Is that a tanning rack?
01:06:44Why do you have a tanning rack?
01:06:45Why did you bring a tanning rack?
01:06:47Is that an ogre's head?
01:06:49When did you pick this up?
01:06:53Did you make a...
01:06:54Did you make a training dummy
01:06:55out of a mutt?
01:06:57That training dummy
01:06:58looks like a Mind Flayer.
01:07:00Oh, yeah.
01:07:01It's because...
01:07:02It's very lazy, I'm sure.
01:07:04Heaven forbid women have hobbies.
01:07:07Heaven forbid women have hobbies.
01:07:09Let's see.
01:07:10What have you got?
01:07:11You've got
01:07:12a writing desk,
01:07:13an abacus,
01:07:17a very...
01:07:20You've got a few...
01:07:21You've got a few weapons.
01:07:23How the hell do we carry all...
01:07:24How the hell do we carry all this
01:07:25when we pack up for the day?
01:07:28Ike, I'm holding.
01:07:29Magic.
01:07:31He's got that...
01:07:33He's got that...
01:07:34He's got the tanning rack.
01:07:36A brassiere.
01:07:39Is the abacus for the kids?
01:07:41What about you, mage?
01:07:42What, a mage?
01:07:43Do you have a...
01:07:44You do have books
01:07:45and they're all strewn about your bed.
01:07:48And a telescope.
01:07:51You fit that telescope
01:07:52right up your butt?
01:07:54Huh.
01:07:56He's got telescopes.
01:08:03Let's look at the other pen.
01:08:04There's a star.
01:08:06Let's get a star in this pen.
01:08:09Alright, Karlak.
01:08:10What have...
01:08:11Alright, Karlak.
01:08:12What have you got?
01:08:13You've got your bed strewn out
01:08:15strewn out haphazardly.
01:08:17You've got...
01:08:18Sir, does she have a teddy bear?
01:08:20You've got wine.
01:08:21Yeah, she does.
01:08:23You've got a teddy bear.
01:08:26Oh, man.
01:08:27You just took that from her?
01:08:30There you go.
01:08:34She's got a teddy bear.
01:08:36Is that all she's got?
01:08:38No, she's got plants.
01:08:40She's got, like, plants.
01:08:41Is that a potted plant?
01:08:43Do you just carry a potted plant around?
01:08:46What's...
01:08:47Is this another...
01:08:48Is this another plant?
01:08:49What is...
01:08:51Karlak, we are surrounded by greenery.
01:08:55You have another one over there.
01:08:58What's with all the plants?
01:09:06Maybe she just really likes plants.
01:09:09I can relate to her.
01:09:12I can imagine why she might.
01:09:13What have you got?
01:09:14You've got, like, the tidiest tent here.
01:09:16Books, writing desk...
01:09:19Bedroll in there.
01:09:23Everything's adorned with char.
01:09:28You also have a potted plant.
01:09:29There's no way you are carrying that.
01:09:32Or any of this.
01:09:35She has two potted plants.
01:09:38Also, her tent design...
01:09:40The design of her tent...
01:09:41Okay, what the fuck does this piece of shit have?
01:09:44A mirror, of course.
01:09:46Wait a minute!
01:09:47Why the fuck do you have a mirror?
01:09:50You're a vampire!
01:09:51You can't even see yourself in it!
01:09:54You dumb twink!
01:10:00I was thinking, oh right, a mirror.
01:10:01Because your veins, son of a...
01:10:02Hey, wait a fucking minute!
01:10:06I love him already.
01:10:07I know absolutely nothing about this character.
01:10:12He's a massive asshole.
01:10:14Maybe I should probably write all this down,
01:10:16so that you can make fun of it, like, in the video.
01:10:19Do you have jars of blood?
01:10:21Where did you get these jars of blood?
01:10:25I don't think we want the answer to that.
01:10:27The jars of blood store.
01:10:30Are you ready to hear this guy's voice
01:10:32and immediately lose all affection you have for him, Mrs. Puddles?
01:10:37I mean, let's find out if, like, I'm just gonna sigh,
01:10:40or if I want to pick up a rock and kill him with it.