Henry's Cat Henry’s Cat S03 E002 The Day of Terrible Jokes
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Miaou! Miaou!
00:24Henry's Cat had just seen a fantastic program.
00:27It was all about young knights of the old days that wore heavy suits of armor.
00:40They also played conkers with iron balls on the end of chains.
00:46In fact the champion conker player was made king and called William the Conkerer because he won 1066 games straight off.
00:54But the bravest knight of all was called Saint George.
00:58He was very good at rescuing damsels in distress, especially those about to be eaten by dragons.
01:04Henry's Cat imagined himself as a bold knight fighting dragons and rescuing damsels just like Saint George.
01:12Henry's Cat, the bold knight, was asleep in his armor-plated pajamas which he always slept in so that he could be ready for any emergency.
01:21Suddenly the fire alarm went.
01:25Henry's Cat jumped out of bed and slid down the pole.
01:32He could see smoke in the distance.
01:34Henry's Cat galloped as fast as he could and soon arrived at the fire.
01:39Of course it was a dragon, wasn't it? Breathing flames and smoke all over everything.
01:45He quickly put out the fire.
01:46Then he put up a no-smoking notice to show that it was very naughty to smoke.
01:53On his way home, Henry's Cat bumped into Timmy Ted Tortoise, the king's special express messenger.
02:00He carried a very important letter.
02:02It said,
02:04Dear Henry's Cat, please come to our joust tomorrow. Love and kisses. Signed, the king.
02:11Well, this was very exciting. You don't get a letter from the king every day.
02:14Henry's Cat got out his best and only suit of armor.
02:18It was rusty, patched, moth-eaten and dented.
02:22Oh, I can't go jousting in front of the king in that.
02:26I'd better get my faithful servant to do it up.
02:30So he rang the servant's bell.
02:44Oh, I'm here! I'm here!
02:47What is your bidding, old master? Said Chris Rabbit.
02:51Oh, look at my suit of armor. It's not very nice to go jousting for the king in, is it?
02:57You're supposed to be my true and faithful servant who looks after me.
03:02Leave it to me! Leave it to me! I'll fix it! I'll fix it! Said Chris.
03:07While that was being done, Henry's Cat got out his weapons.
03:09He had to make do with a broomstick for a lance and an old sock full of sand for a club.
03:15He was just thinking what else he needed, like an armor-plated handkerchief, when he heard a lot of noise.
03:26Oh, what are you doing with my best suit of armor? Said Henry's Cat.
03:32I just washed and pressed it. It'll be all right on the night. It looks very good. Fit for a king.
03:36Oh, you don't wash and press suits of armor. How can I wear it now? Said Henry's Cat.
03:44Don't worry. Don't worry. You don't have to wear it. I'll fix a handle on the back so you can hold it like a shield.
03:50And when you're not using it, you can fold it up and put it in your pocket like this.
03:54Said Chris. Henry's Cat thought it was quite a clever idea after all.
03:58Suddenly, the sundial struck half-past one.
04:00Henry's Cat knew he had to be on his way.
04:03At the king's castle, a guard looked down from the battlements and said...
04:07Oh, who goes there?
04:09Oh, it's me, Henry's Cat. Come to joust.
04:14Joust a minute and I'll open the door.
04:19Inside the castle, Henry's Cat saw on the notice board that his opponent was none other than Sir Loin of Lamb.
04:25A dark and stormy knight who everyone feared.
04:29Henry's Cat was about to have second thoughts when he saw the prizes.
04:34They were well worth fighting for, especially the doughnuts.
04:38At that moment, a trumpeter sounded a fanfare.
04:45And the king announced the jousting contest.
04:48And the king announced the jousting contest.
04:51Ladies and gentlemen, for our first contest, we have in the blue corner, Sir Loin of Lamb.
05:03While in the red corner, we have your own, your very own, Henry's Cat.
05:10Henry's Cat quickly put on his horse and unfolded his armour.
05:14It was all very exciting.
05:17The coat of arms of each contestant was raised.
05:21The king blew his whistle.
05:24And the joust began.
05:26Sir Loin of Lamb set off at a fast gallop.
05:29His lance had a specially fitted telescopic sight and his two-bladed sword could be used as a spear.
05:36His lance had a specially fitted telescopic sight and his two-bladed sword could be used as a spear.
05:42He was a deadly adversary.
05:45Henry's Cat looked out from beyond his armour and then quickly closed his eyes.
05:55Henry's Cat had won.
05:58An instant replay shows what happened.
06:01When Sir Loin of Lamb struck home with his lance,
06:03Henry's Cat's suit so that it slung round and hit Sir Loin of Lamb with the sock.
06:13Henry's Cat was very surprised himself.
06:16Everyone in the grandstand thought he was very brave.
06:23Henry's Cat presented himself to the king who said,
06:27For bravery, skill and cleverness, I proudly present you with all three prizes.
06:33My daughter's hand in marriage, a free holiday in Brixton and a large bag of second-hand doughnuts.
06:40Henry's Cat, being of a very generous disposition,
06:43gave the daughter's hand in marriage and the ticket to the local charity for deaf horses,
06:47but took the doughnut to remind him of the auspicious occasion.
06:51Henry's Cat was just about to go home for his afternoon nap
06:54when the king said,
07:06Well, it was an offer no one could refuse.
07:09Henry's Cat accepted it immediately.
07:12He was just about to ask for an ice cream in advance when the king told him what the job was.
07:17It was to catch a dreaded three-headed dragon.
07:21One head had very sharp teeth that could eat anything.
07:25The second head could breathe fire and the third head was the deadliest of all.
07:30It told very bad jokes.
07:34The dragon guarded a cave in which there was lots of treasure.
07:38Henry's Cat thought about it.
07:40It wasn't every day you could earn free ice cream and Christmas pudding.
07:44He also knew he could rely on his faithful servant.
07:47They set out and travelled for seven days non-stop,
07:50apart from rest, naps and tea breaks, that is.
07:54They soon arrived at a signpost pointing to the dragon's cave.
07:58Henry's Cat was having second thoughts.
08:01Oh, don't you think we should send a postcard to say we are coming?
08:06I mean, it's not polite just to drop in, is it?
08:10Don't worry! Don't worry! I've got a plan that'll fix everything!
08:13It'll fix everything!
08:14Chris Rabbit showed Henry's Cat his inventions.
08:17His first invention was a boomerang arrow that came back when you fired it.
08:23Chris Rabbit's second invention was also clever.
08:26It was a large bone full of toffee, which dragons are very fond of.
08:30This could be used in an emergency.
08:33Henry's Cat now felt more confident.
08:36They carried on to the dragon's cave.
08:38But the dragon was nowhere to be seen.
08:40Oh, it's not at home. I expect it's gone on holiday.
08:44We'll just have to leave a note to say we called, and we'll pop back later.
08:48Henry's Cat felt very relieved about this,
08:51and was just about to go back home when Chris Rabbit said...
08:54I expect it's asleep! I'll give it a call!
08:57Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!
08:59Well, it was asleep,
09:02and certainly didn't like being woken up by strange rabbits.
09:06It came out of the cave, snapping its teeth, breathing fire,
09:11and smiling!
09:13Undaunted, Henry's Cat approached the dragon.
09:17The dragon breathed fire and smoke, and burnt the sock and the broom.
09:22Henry's Cat was without weapons to defend himself.
09:25It was a situation that demanded quick thinking.
09:28Henry's Cat immediately took out his sword,
09:30Henry's Cat immediately took out his emergency rations of banana soup,
09:33roast yoghurt with peanuts, and chocolate sardines.
09:36This would give him the energy to fight the dragon bare-handed.
09:39But just as he was about to stop,
09:42the dragon's head with the teeth scoffed a lot!
09:46Well, setting fire to weapons is one thing,
09:49but eating someone's dinner with not so much as a please or thank you
09:53was something else.
09:55Henry's Cat didn't know what to do.
09:57He got the rubber bone from Chris to use as a club,
10:00but the first dragon's head snatched it before Henry's Cat could do anything.
10:05The stupid head didn't realise it was eating special toffee
10:09invented by Chris Rabbit that stuck things together.
10:12Its teeth were soon fixed tight.
10:15Henry's Cat then fired a boomerang arrow above the second dragon's head.
10:20It spanned right through the dragon's head.
10:23Henry's Cat then fired a boomerang arrow above the second dragon's head.
10:26It spanned round and round.
10:29Two of the heads got twisted together and were out of action.
10:32Two down and one to go.
10:35Chris Rabbit marked them off with his paintbrush.
10:38Then came the real test.
10:40Could Henry's Cat stand a third dragon's head's terrible jokes?
10:45Head number three saw its opportunity and said,
10:48I say, I say, I say,
10:51why did the chicken cross the road?
10:53To see Gregory Peck.
10:57Chris Rabbit and Henry's Cat tried to block their ears, but to no avail.
11:02And even before they got their strength back, the third dragon's head had another joke ready.
11:07What is the difference between Father Christmas and a tin of baked beans?
11:12Neither has a beard except Father Christmas.
11:16That one knocked them to the ground. They were helpless.
11:20The dragon moved in with another terrible joke to finish them off.
11:23But just as they thought their last moment had come, Chris Rabbit shouted,
11:27Why have elephants got pink eyes?
11:30The dragon was caught off guard and said,
11:33I don't know. Why do elephants have pink eyes?
11:37So they can hide in cherry trees.
11:39Quick, Chris Rabbit.
11:41I've never seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree, said the third dragon's head.
11:46Oh no, that's because it's got pink eyes. Ha ha!
11:49Said Chris Rabbit as quick as a flash.
11:50The dragon knew that he was up against formidable opponents
11:54and tried to think up another terrible joke.
11:57But Henry's Cat seized his chance and said,
11:59Oh, how do you start a flea race?
12:02One, two, flea, go.
12:05The dragon was now thoroughly confused and couldn't think at all.
12:09Henry's Cat moved in for the kill and said,
12:12Oh, when is a sailor a piece of wood?
12:15When he's a board. Ha ha ha!
12:17It was all too much for the dragon.
12:20It dashed into the cave and slammed the door
12:23and left by the back entrance.
12:27Henry's Cat and his faithful servant had beaten the terrible dragon.
12:32The country was free of bad jokes forevermore.
12:36Henry's Cat told the king how he and Chris Rabbit had beaten the dragon.
12:40The king went into the counting house to get them lots of money.
12:43And the queen went into the parlour to get them more money.
12:45And the queen went into the parlour to get them bread and honey.
12:49Then they parted with the king saying,
12:52When I saw you fighting, Sir Lion of Lamb,
12:55I said to myself, that cat is a knockout.
13:00Well, many a true word spoken in joust, as they say.
13:06Said Henry's Cat, feeling proud of his talent
13:09for making terrible jokes in the service of his country.
13:15To be continued...