Being Ian E060 - Everykid 13
Category
🦄
Art et designTranscription
00:00B.A.E.N.
00:01Anything is possible
00:03Just give it your best shot
00:05B.A.E.N.
00:13Why can't the world just see things my way
00:23B.A.E.N.
00:24All the world's a movie scene
00:27We've got the leading role
00:29B.A.E.N.
00:30Your life can be a masterpiece
00:32So get on with the show
00:34B.A.E.N.
00:36B.A.E.N.
00:38A million moving pictures spinning round inside my brain
00:41Why can't the world just see things my way
00:47B.A.E.N.
01:18B.A.E.N.
01:19Whip cream in the face
01:21Funny in any country
01:30B.A.E.N.
01:31That's not funny in any country
01:35So I wouldn't tell this to anybody else
01:37Sometimes I really wish I could look more, I don't know, feminine
01:40Hey, what if I put colored streaks in my hair
01:42Or would my mom totally freak?
01:44Yeah
01:45Yeah what?
01:46Yeah, to what you just said
01:49Which? Streak or freak?
01:50Um, both
01:52B.A.E.N.
01:53I just told you something really personal and you weren't even listening
01:56I was too listening
01:57You said a bunch of words that probably formed a sentence
02:01Or two
02:02See? Told you I was listening
02:04For your information, Mr. Typical Boy
02:06Communication is the basis of friendship
02:08And if your friends don't listen to you, how can you possibly...
02:17I so totally rock at Cell Phone Hacky Sack
02:20Kyle, Kyle, I need some help back here
02:23Quick, dude, we'll finish this game later, I gotta hide
02:29Kyle, I need you to haul these doggone boxes home
02:33Now where would I hide if I hadn't had the Kelly Work ethic swatted into me
02:47Ah!
02:58Yo, Craig, wanna hear the sound of three old dudes sweating?
03:05Sandy was really ticked at me for not listening to her
03:08At least I think that's what she said
03:10Hey, how long has this thing been on?
03:12Excellent!
03:13If I watch the playback, when I see Sandy tomorrow, I can act like I was paying attention
03:18And another thing you do that makes me mad, Ian
03:21Think I'll rewind before this part
03:23And I keep thinking about growing my hair out
03:25The magazines say it'll accent my cheekbones
03:27But what if it looks really stringy, you know?
03:29Oh, my locker, it has this funny smell like I left cheese in there or something
03:32But I don't eat cheese because it makes my stomach...
03:34Oh, no, you're right, that's crazy
03:35Yo, Dweeb, what are you watching?
03:37Nothing you'd be interested in, Double Dweeb
03:40Well, for your information, you're wrong
03:42Whatever's more than Double Dweeb
03:44Whoever was on that website was talking about the same teen troubles I have
03:48Really?
03:49Yeah, I suffer from the shame of smelly locker syndrome
03:52And I've been thinking about it for a long time
03:54I've been thinking about it for a long time
03:56I've been thinking about it for a long time
03:58I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:00I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:02I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:04I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:06I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:08I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:10I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:12I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:14I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:16I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:18I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:20I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:22I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:24I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:26I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:28I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:30I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:32I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:34I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:36I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:38I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:40I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:42I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:44I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:46I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:48I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:50I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:52I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:54I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:56I've been thinking about it for a long time
04:58I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:00I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:02I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:04I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:06I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:08I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:10I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:12I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:14I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:16I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:18I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:20I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:22I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:24I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:26I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:28I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:30I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:32I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:34I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:36I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:38I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:40I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:42I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:44I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:46I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:48I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:50I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:52I've been thinking about it for a long time
05:54Uh-huh
05:56Then who's all that dorky, girly stuff for?
05:58This?
06:00Um, uh...
06:02Hi! Happy birthday or whatever, dude!
06:04Hi! Happy birthday or whatever, dude!
06:06Aw, fancy!
06:08How's he not have a soft spot for stuffed blue cows?
06:10How's he not have a soft spot for stuffed blue cows?
06:12How's he not have a soft spot for stuffed blue cows?
06:14Did that good-for-nothin' Kyle
06:16Did that good-for-nothin' Kyle
06:18stoke by here lookin' for a hideout?
06:20Did you check in the laundry hamper?
06:22Oh! Nothin' can live in there but mold and mildew!
06:24Oh! Nothin' can live in there but mold and mildew!
06:26Oh! No kidding!
06:28Oh! It smells worse than your mother's haggis!
06:30Mildew? Haggis?
06:32Oh, sounds like lunchtime to me!
06:38Um, think we'll lunch at home today
06:40Keep an eye on the shop on Mold!
06:42As long as we're headin' out, bitch
06:44How's about grabbin' a box?
06:52Old people are so funny!
06:54Thinkin' they can shred their old age away!
06:56Thinkin' they can shred their old age away!
06:58Mmm!
07:02Hats-a-flotch!
07:04Grandmas!
07:06It's a miracle! Our sauna turns the old into young!
07:08Oddbald,
07:10we have talked about eating
07:12mantled lunch meat
07:14No! This is not one of my pork-induced visions!
07:16Truly,
07:18it's the sauna of youth!
07:20Ooh!
07:22A supernatural steam room?
07:24I'm in the mood for a miracle schwitz!
07:26Is the magic sauna
07:28available at group rates?
07:30Kelly's sauna of youth is officially
07:32open for business!
07:38And my mom is so hung up about me watching too much TV!
07:40But reading books is okay?
07:42Hello! You're just watching words!
07:46We need to make room for the unsold pianos and such, Ian
07:48and we can't store your old videotapes anymore!
07:50Thanks!
07:52Now they're taking up all my pacing space!
07:54Well,
07:56now you can pace them right down to the trash can,
07:58fresh mouth!
08:00But I can't throw these out!
08:02Don't push this one, son!
08:04Your mom's been giving me quite the earful
08:06since I shanghaied her into lugging your video,
08:08hooey-ho!
08:10Hooey? This happens to be the seminal work
08:12of a cinematic wunderkind!
08:18A cinematic wunderkind who can easily transfer
08:20all these precious tapes to his hard drive
08:22before dumping them in the trash can!
08:26I guess every kid thirteen
08:28will have to wait!
08:32Ian Kelly, the early years
08:34is too important to be lost in the dustpan of history!
08:40How many hours of this doggy dribble did I shoot?
08:42Think I can let the computer
08:44handle the transfer by itself?
08:46Just...
08:48Me too.
08:54So as soon as I woke up, I checked your website
08:56but Every Kid Thirteen wasn't on there yet!
08:58Was there something wrong with my hair?
09:00Something weird in my teeth!
09:02Sandy, chill! I put it online
09:04just before I left for school.
09:06I just hope everybody likes it.
09:08How many people do you think will watch it?
09:10I don't know.
09:12Just promise you won't go all wedgie on me
09:14if Every Kid Thirteen takes a while to catch on.
09:16So when does a boyfriend become a boyfriend?
09:18Does he have to actually kiss or does it count
09:20if you just think about kissing?
09:22How many times have I wondered exactly the same thing
09:24in several languages, including binary?
09:26Ian, I'm a hit!
09:28So, you guys like the new addition
09:30to my website, huh?
09:32Every Kid Thirteen is sweet, relevant
09:34and differently funny, Ian!
09:36I keep thinking about growing my hair out.
09:38Chopin?
09:40Sometimes I just wish I could look more,
09:42you know, feminine.
09:50Hey, I was here first!
09:52Calm down, you rowdies,
09:54before you break a hip!
09:56You're not young yet!
09:58Oddbald!
10:00That's for my crowd control, Ken!
10:02Oddbald!
10:04The next time they see Oddbald,
10:06he'll be young and shrewd
10:08and ready to resume his underpants
10:10modeling career!
10:12Hey, my homies!
10:14Who's up for buying a computer
10:16and trying to figure out
10:18how to turn it on?
10:20You! It's Grandpa!
10:22Me and my peeps are about to
10:24party your inheritance away!
10:26Fuck off!
10:28I don't know, Mom.
10:30This whole sauna of youth scheme just feels
10:32wrong.
10:34Is there something wrong with making old people
10:36feel young?
10:38Or making us feel rich?
10:42They'd probably just wasted
10:44on orthopedic shoes!
10:48Sometimes I imagine myself as a brain surgeon,
10:50or a ballerina. Maybe this sounds a little
10:52all that, but sometimes I even dream
10:54I'm the Prime Minister of Canada!
10:56Yeah!
10:58This webisode is more bent than the last one!
11:00Did you hear that?
11:02And all it took was me mixing up your audio
11:04with Chopin's home movies!
11:06Talk about happy accidents!
11:08Your noggin's about to accidentally meet my noogie
11:10and fist!
11:12Something wrong?
11:14Only everything! This is nothing like you promised!
11:16You have a dog telling everybody my innermost thoughts and feelings!
11:18They're all laughing at me!
11:20Do you have any idea how this...
11:26You're not even listening to me!
11:28Of course I'm listening!
11:30We're all listening!
11:32Those are still your words, Sandy!
11:34And I'm a hit!
11:36I mean, you're a hit
11:38because your words are so important.
11:40Well, I guess...
11:42And your words mean something to people.
11:44Young people who are going through
11:46the same stuff you're going through.
11:48Oh, well I suppose if I can save
11:50one other kid from a bad hair day...
11:52Hey everybody! The dog from Every Kid 13
11:54is in the house!
11:56Say something in your dog voice!
11:58Yeah, tell the sticky locker story!
12:00Do that thing where you chase your tail
12:02until you fall over!
12:04Yeah!
12:06Everybody just leave me alone!
12:10Wow! I just did a backflip!
12:14It's funnier when she's a dog.
12:18Go ahead, Ty.
12:20Tell Sandy what you just told me.
12:22Great last webisode, Sandy.
12:24I am so down with what you were saying
12:26about popularity and stuff.
12:28Really?
12:30Aw, thanks, Ty.
12:32It's nice to know somebody's actually listening.
12:34Sorry!
12:36It's just that whenever you talk
12:38I see Shelton scooching around.
12:40What is fun!
12:42The price of being a cyber-lebrity.
12:44Okay, people, settle down
12:46and get out your homework.
12:48Sandy, did you bring yours?
12:50Or did you eat it?
12:56Oh!
13:26You sort of made me forget about your feelings.
13:28I'll say!
13:30I guess I've been a terrible friend.
13:32But my website became so popular and...
13:34Can you ever forgive me?
13:36I don't know.
13:38Do you have any idea what it's like to have your feelings
13:40turn into a big joke?
13:42I mean, it's hard enough being a teenager...
13:46This you-hurt-my-feelings stuff is the bomb!
13:48What are you waiting for?
13:50Press the record button!
13:52Secretly taping your best friend
13:54is a slippery slope
13:56that can only lead to one thing.
13:58Exactly!
14:00Worldwide web success!
14:02This is probably the most sensitive time of our lives.
14:04I mean, I don't know about you,
14:06but it's like every day I have stronger,
14:08deeper feelings of...
14:14Too boring.
14:16You drooly. You've been there, done that.
14:20You perfect to resist.
14:22In fact, I am so filled with feelings,
14:24I can't wait to let them out!
14:30Any of you guys seen Sandy this morning?
14:34She's on the chest of every kid
14:36with a computer and a sense of humor.
14:38Inspired, E!
14:40Sandy tinkling on the flowers
14:42is an instant webtip!
14:44Whoa, Ty, that wasn't Sandy.
14:46That was Chopin with Sandy's...
14:48You know, feelings.
14:50Mais c'est tellement drôle!
14:52Oh, j'ai vraiment dépassé la ligne.
14:54Il vaut mieux la trouver et essayer d'expliquer.
14:56Sandy!
14:58Alors, je suppose que tu es un peu
15:00étonnée de comment j'ai utilisé tes mots,
15:02mais selon la base de fans,
15:04c'était notre meilleur épisode jusqu'ici!
15:08Oui, c'était,
15:10c'est pourquoi je ne te parle plus.
15:12Sandy, attends, tu ne veux pas dire ça?
15:14Regarde, je vais même te montrer comment désolé je suis.
15:20Désolé? Non? Accepté?
15:22Ouch!
15:30Check it! Every kid's 18!
15:32My grandson downloaded the latest webisode for me!
15:34That talking dog is deaf!
15:36How's that?
15:38I'm partially deaf!
15:40Who'd have thought this phony stream scheme
15:42would be such a hit?
15:44Yeah, there's a sucker born every minute.
15:46Most of us were born 80 years ago.
15:48Most of us were born 80 years ago.
15:50Word!
15:52I hope you mothers are happy.
15:54The geriatric gangsters
15:56have taken over my keyboard store!
15:58I demand her! You can have her!
16:00She's too fat for me!
16:02And that's fat in a P-H-U!
16:10Gnarly old folks getting down with it?
16:14I so need to hide in my quiet place!
16:18Don't go in there, Kyle!
16:20The seniors have started flashing their surgical scars!
16:22Promise I'll never get old, Mommy?
16:28Come on, Sandy. I promise I'll never secretly record you again.
16:34Please stop ignoring me.
16:36I've said I'm sorry.
16:38What else could you possibly want from me?
16:42And then it hit me.
16:48La seule chose la plus propre à faire
16:50c'était d'éviter la voix de Sandy
16:52de tous les épisodes web.
16:54Pas de soucis, Chopin.
16:56Chacun d'entre nous va continuer
16:58dès qu'on trouve un autre jeune homme
17:00qui s'occupe de ses goûts.
17:02Tu t'occupes de toi.
17:04Tye, est-ce qu'on est prêts pour le casting?
17:06Oui, pourquoi pas?
17:08Tout le monde qui veut auditionner
17:10est en train d'attendre.
17:12C'est tout?
17:14Grace Lum est notre pool de talent?
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