Hoppity Hooper E001
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Actually, you know, I'm more of a bear.
00:02All right, now tell us about the Duchess. How tall is she?
00:05She's 12 feet tall.
00:0612 feet tall?
00:08Gee, that's twice as tall as Fellmother.
00:10Then I'm big for my age.
00:12Oh, that reminds me, how old is she?
00:14120.
00:16Well, I'll say this, she'll certainly stand out in a crowd.
00:19But while Waldo was taking notes...
01:01Let's look at our cast of characters, shall we?
01:03First, here's Hoppity Hooper, our hero.
01:06Hiya, hero worshippers!
01:08Next in line is Fillmore, the strongest bear in captivity.
01:12Uh, captivity, Wisconsin, that is.
01:14And last but not least is Waldo Wigglesworth.
01:18He too is famous.
01:19True, true.
01:20Waldo's well-known features look down from the walls of post offices and police stations all over the country.
01:25That's him, officer! That's the one! I'd know that foxy look anywhere!
01:29After him!
01:31Well, lads, here we go again, into the truck!
01:36There you go, Waldo!
01:38Quick, Casimir, get the secret weapon.
01:41That's a secret weapon?
01:42It's an inflatable Waldo.
01:44An inflatable Waldo?
01:46Yeah, a balloon shaped just like Waldo.
01:48A balloon shaped...
01:49Will you stop repeating the dialogue and pull the lever!
01:52Okay!
01:54Quick, toss it out!
01:57There he is, standing by the side of the road!
02:01Careful, boys, he's tricky!
02:03He looks dizzy, Captain!
02:05He did it that, for a strong breeze began to blow the Waldo balloon along the road.
02:09He's making a run for it!
02:11Stop! Stop or I'll shoot!
02:16Gee, I only tried to wing him!
02:19He got him on the rise, gee!
02:21I always heard Wigglesworth was full of hot air, but this is ridiculous!
02:25Meanwhile, our friends, safe at last, had stopped to let their truck cool off.
02:29Gee, Uncle Waldo, why was that man so mad at you?
02:32Just because I sold him a thousand gallons of pure, sparkling well water.
02:37What's wrong with that?
02:38It was supposed to be an oil well.
02:40Oh...
02:41Just a slight misunderstanding, Hoppity.
02:43How long must I be persecuted by the millions of the law?
02:47Well, as the fellow says, if you can't lick them, join them!
02:50What was that?
02:51I said if you can't lick them, join them!
02:53What does that mean, Hoppity?
02:55I don't know, Fillmore, it's just what the fellow says.
02:57But of course, Hoppity, that's the way to keep on the right side of the law!
03:01We'll become detectives ourselves!
03:04You mean like on television?
03:05Exactly! We'll be private eyes!
03:08I can't be a private eye, Waldo.
03:10How come?
03:11I got two stripes. I gotta be a corporal eye.
03:14But Waldo insisted, and in just a few days' time,
03:17their medicine show truck had been turned into a traveling detective agency.
03:21The Eye Spy Detective Agency.
03:23Walter Wiggleswaite, Chief Snoop.
03:26And here comes our first client.
03:28Get ready, Alfredo.
03:29Welcome, sir. What can we do for you?
03:32I've just lost my bowling ball. Can you find it?
03:36Lost articles?
03:37Kindly step into our swami's parlor.
03:39Swami?
03:40Yeah, that's me.
03:42The swami is in a trance.
03:44I could tell.
03:46Swami, do you see this gentleman's lost bowling ball?
03:50Yes, yes. I see it before me now.
03:54You do? Where is it?
03:56Right here.
03:58Oh, my God, that's remarkable.
04:01Here, this is for finding it so quickly.
04:04Oh, thank you.
04:05And this is for taking it in the first place.
04:09Confound it, Beaufort. I told you to pick up a crystal ball.
04:12The crystal balls are harder to pick up, Waldo.
04:15You mean they're scarce?
04:16No, I mean they don't have the little holes in them for your fingers.
04:19Hey, look, here comes another customer.
04:21But this customer's request wasn't going to be as easy to fill as the first.
04:25Is this the I-Spy detective agent, sir?
04:28At your service, sir. I-Spy, we never sleep.
04:31We may doze off from time to time, but...
04:34My name is Badly Bent, with a hyphen.
04:37Gee, that's too bad.
04:39And I want you to find the lost duchess of Dashett Hall.
04:42The lost duchess of Dashett Hall?
04:44You lost a duchess?
04:45You lost a duchess?
04:46Seems a bit careless, somehow.
04:48But at that moment, the sinister figure outside
04:50lobbed a large, round object at the window.
04:52An object with a fuse attached to it.
04:54And it isn't a crystal ball or a bowling ball, either.
04:57Don't miss our next episode,
04:59The Lowdown on the Blow-Up, or...
05:01Hallelujah, I'm a Bomb!
05:08Well, here we go, kid.
05:10Back to the land of situation comedy.
05:13And all the news that's fit to see.
05:22Well, at Hoppity's suggestion,
05:24Waldo has joined the forces of law and order
05:27by organizing the I-Spy detective agency.
05:30And already, they've got a big case.
05:33I want you chaps to find the lost duchess of Dashett Hall.
05:37Duchesses are our specialty.
05:39They are?
05:40But at that moment, a mysterious figure
05:42tossed a large bomb with a sputtering fuse
05:44right at the window of the truck.
05:47Let's get out of here!
05:49No, no, we mustn't panic. Let's remain calm.
05:52But, but, but...
05:53Now, the thing to do with bombs
05:54is to put them into a bucket of water, right?
05:56Right you are, old bean.
05:58Quick, Desmond, get a bucket.
05:59Okay, Waldo.
06:01Let's see, now where did I put that bucket?
06:04Hurry, Hugh, more!
06:05Let's see, is it in here?
06:08No, that's the ironing board.
06:11We've got to put out the fuse.
06:12Couldn't we use something besides a bucket?
06:14It really isn't correct, old boy.
06:16Here's the bucket.
06:18Now fill it with water.
06:19Waldo, you know we don't have running water in the truck.
06:22There's a little stream just down the hill.
06:24Right.
06:25You see, Hoppity, you've got to be calm about these things.
06:29But that fuse is getting mighty short.
06:31Here you are, Waldo.
06:33Wait a minute, that bucket's empty.
06:35I wonder why.
06:36I think this is why.
06:37No bottom.
06:38Oh, my goodness.
06:39Now what?
06:41Isn't that infuriating?
06:43Things like this never happen to James Bond.
06:45Hey, I've got an idea.
06:47Yes, yes.
06:48Why don't we just do this?
06:51That's a good idea.
06:52Let's do that.
06:53He's already done it, Edward.
06:55Oh, yeah.
06:56Now why would anybody want to toss a bomb into here?
06:59It'll certainly help the plot.
07:00Besides that.
07:01But who did it?
07:02Well, gentlemen, you certainly have a choice.
07:04These criminals are all after the missing Duchess.
07:07They were just trying to frighten you off the case.
07:10They did a pretty good job, too.
07:12Come on, Fillmore, be a man.
07:14Actually, you know, I'm more of a bear.
07:16All right.
07:17Now tell us about the Duchess.
07:18How tall is she?
07:19She's 12 feet tall.
07:2112 feet tall?
07:22Gee, that's twice as tall as Fillmore.
07:24Then I'm big for my age.
07:26Oh, that reminds me.
07:27How old is she?
07:28120.
07:30Well, I'll say this.
07:31She'll certainly stand out in a crowd.
07:34But while Waldo was taking notes a short distance away,
07:36a mean-looking band of cutthroats and thugs
07:39were listening to the leader of their gang,
07:41Lime Juice Louie.
07:42Well, it seems that froggy type and his friends
07:45are out to find the lost Duchess.
07:47All those in favor of chastising him say aye.
07:50Aye.
07:51Opposed?
07:52No.
07:53Why do you vote no, Mugsy?
07:55On account I don't know what chastising means.
07:59Well, chastising means...
08:02And this.
08:03And this.
08:05Now do you know what chastising means?
08:07I think I get the general idea.
08:11Now let's see if I've got the picture.
08:13The Duchess is 12 feet tall, 120 years old,
08:16and was last seen wearing a hoop skirt and a powdered wig.
08:19What was she doing in America, Mr. Badly Bent?
08:22She was on loan from Great Britain.
08:24What?
08:25It's simple, Hoppity.
08:26We send them our old missiles,
08:27and they send us their old Duchesses.
08:29Oh.
08:30So our boys set out to find the lost Duchess of Dashett Hall.
08:33First, they searched all the beauty parlors.
08:37They checked all the ladies' Turkish baths.
08:41They even kept track of all the bargain sites.
08:43I tell you, I saw this hat first.
08:45No, you didn't, dearie. I saw it first.
08:47Ladies, I was wearing it when I came in.
08:51You came out of it.
08:53Well, Mr. Badly Bent, we tried anyway.
08:56Gee, we should have been able to spot
08:58a 120-year-old lady who was 12 feet tall.
09:00Yeah, with a hoop skirt and a powdered wig.
09:02And don't forget the big gold frame.
09:04What gold frame?
09:06The frame around the picture.
09:08Wait a minute.
09:09You mean the lost Duchess of Dashett Hall is a picture?
09:12Well, she certainly is.
09:14And there she goes now.
09:16She's being spirited away by Lime Juice Louie and his gang.
09:21Perhaps he's right.
09:22We'll find out next time in
09:24Portrait of a Thief, or Lime Juice Louie Gets Framed
09:41Well, in our last episode, we finally met the lost Duchess of Dashett Hall.
09:45She was indeed 12 feet tall, 120 years old, and surrounded by a solid gold frame.
09:52For the lost Duchess was really an enormous full-length oil painting worth a fortune.
09:57And right now, she's in possession of Lime Juice Louie and his band of cutthroats.
10:01That's us.
10:02Heavens, that was Lime Juice Louie and his band of cutthroats.
10:06I heard the man.
10:07But perhaps the audience didn't.
10:09Well, let's get after them.
10:10They're charged.
10:14Hey, Louie, what's the idea driving right by those guys?
10:17Now they're chasing us.
10:18Correct.
10:19They're chasing us right into a trap.
10:21What kind of trap, boss?
10:23Observe closely.
10:29Oh, frip-frap, a detour.
10:32Well, we can't stop now. Drive on, Santa's love.
10:35My name is...
10:36Well, ta-ta, guts.
10:38Yeah.
10:39We'll see you later, fellas.
10:41Oh, I'm afraid not, Muggsy.
10:43How come?
10:44Take a deco at that.
10:45Oh, horrors.
10:46Our friends have been decoyed into driving onto a set of railroad tracks.
10:50Now, let's see.
10:51This detour ought to take us by way of Marchonk and Kennebunkport.
10:54It's sure a smooth road for a detour, Waldo.
10:58What was that?
10:59Just a grade crossing.
11:01A grade crossing?
11:02Yike, we're on a railroad track.
11:04Quick, turn the wheel, Eustace.
11:06I can't, Waldo. We fit too tight.
11:09Gee, what do we do if a train comes along?
11:11We'd better decide in a hurry, chaps.
11:13Here comes one now.
11:15Step on it, Bonbon.
11:16The name is Fillmore.
11:18It's gonna be mud if you don't beat that train. Go!
11:23And Fillmore pushed the gas pedal to the floorboard.
11:25Slowly, the truck pulled ahead of the speeding train.
11:36Now, there's something you don't see every day, Chauncey.
11:39What's that, Edgar?
11:40A truck on a railroad track being chased by a train.
11:43Oh, I don't know, Edgar.
11:45Happens all the time on the Bullwinkle Show.
11:48True.
11:51We're winning, Uncle Waldo. We're pulling ahead of the train.
11:54But just then...
11:57Oh, what is it, Fillmore?
11:59I don't know, Professor.
12:00I do look. We're running out of gas.
12:02And the train's gaining on us.
12:04Well, there's only one thing to do. I want to jump for it.
12:06And leave us to our fate? What kind of a hero are you?
12:09A smart one. You see that switch up ahead there?
12:12Yeah.
12:13I'm gonna jump for it.
12:14What have you missed?
12:15You'll just have to change the name of this program to The Waldo Wigglesworth Show.
12:18Good luck, Hoppity.
12:20The Waldo Wigglesworth Show.
12:22Hoppity climbed out onto the running board, crouched, judged the distance,
12:26and at precisely the right instant...
12:34Yes, the train was switched onto another track and roared out of sight
12:38while Waldo's truck coasted safely to a stop.
12:41Everybody okay?
12:42Hoppity, my lad. You've saved our lives. You're a hero.
12:46Give him a fanfare, Beauregard.
12:51Shucks, that was nothing.
12:53There's only one thing that puzzles me, though.
12:55What's that?
12:56I wonder where that train is going to wind up.
13:01I'll tell you where. Right in the middle of another program entirely.
13:08Well, as well as well, I guess.
13:10What do you mean, and? You haven't found the lost duchess yet.
13:13Gee, I almost forgot.
13:15And here's your chance, gentlemen, for here she comes now.
13:18Yes, far down the road, Lime Juice Louie's car was hurtling toward them.
13:22Gee, they'll have to go under that bridge, Uncle Waldo.
13:24Hoppity, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
13:26I think so.
13:27No, Hoppity, it's too dangerous. I forbid it. I put my foot down.
13:32What's that for?
13:33You put your foot down in the wrong place.
13:37Well, what dangerous scheme does our hero have in mind?
13:40We'll find out next time in What's Cooking, or Hoppity's Plots and Plans.
13:45We'll return to our program after these messages.
13:49Our boys are hot on the trail of the lost duchess of Dashett Hall.
13:53A valuable painting stolen by Lime Juice Louie and his gang.
13:57Now, Louie's car is approaching an overpass on which our friends are waiting.
14:02No, I won't let you do it, Hoppity.
14:04Do what, Waldo?
14:05When that car goes under the bridge, I'm going to swing down and grab the painting.
14:09But that's dangerous.
14:10But we'll save the painting.
14:11It's foolhardy.
14:12We'll outwit those crooks.
14:14It's out of the question.
14:15We'll get a reward.
14:17Let's go.
14:18So, when Louie's car went under the bridge...
14:22Hey, what happened?
14:24We've been on-froggled, that's what.
14:26You did it, Hoppity.
14:28Okay, fellas, pull me up.
14:31No!
14:33No!
14:35The painting's too heavy. We can't lift you both up.
14:38Then drop it, Hoppity.
14:39No, sir.
14:40Now that we've got it, we're not going to let go of it.
14:43Maybe Mr. Badly Bent could help us, Egbert.
14:45Yeah, time to ask him.
14:47No!
14:48Oh, Mr. Badly Bent!
14:49Uncle!
14:51What is it, Tilma?
14:54Never mind.
14:55Meanwhile, the gang had turned their car around and were heading toward our heroes.
15:00Hey, they ain't here.
15:01True. The only person near the bridge was a sign painter who was lettering a billboard.
15:06They must have snucked off on a side road, Louie.
15:09Well, on with the chase.
15:10Yikes!
15:11Tally-ho and all that rot.
15:13Did it work, Hoppity?
15:14Like a charm, Uncle Waldo.
15:16Quick, into the truck.
15:19And on to Dashett Hall.
15:22And a short time later, our friends entered Dashett Hall, ancestral home of the Earl of Cloves.
15:27There you are, sir. The last Duchess returns.
15:31I say, chaps, that's splendid.
15:34Now, let me just get rid of that dreadful painting.
15:38You didn't want the picture?
15:40Of course not, little green one.
15:42I wanted the frame.
15:44It's solid gold, you know.
15:46Oh, boy.
15:47What about the reward?
15:49Oh, yes, of course.
15:50Tell you what, you can have the picture.
15:53Thanks for nothing!
15:55He ain't exactly a heavy tipper, is he?
15:58Well, anyway, we've got this keen big picture.
16:01Oi, chaps, I'm from the Manchester Guardian.
16:04Like to take your picture for the morning edition.
16:06Why, certainly, young man.
16:07The name is Wigglesworth, W-I-G.
16:10Doesn't he sound familiar to you?
16:12Yeah, I think it's really Alfred Hitchcock.
16:14No, but I've heard that voice somewhere.
16:16Now, I'd like you to pose with your hands up in the air, please.
16:20Our hands in the air, why?
16:22This is why.
16:24It's Lime Juice Louie!
16:26What do you say, Hoppity?
16:28Shall we jump him?
16:29No, I think we ought to put our hands in the air.
16:31He can't get all of us.
16:33Hoppity's right, Fillmore.
16:34Put your hands up.
16:37Well, that takes care of Lime Juice Louie.
16:40It also takes care of the lost Duchess.
16:42What are we going to do with a painting with a big hole in it?
16:45Leave it to Uncle Waldo, I guess.
16:47Look.
16:51Yes, Waldo was getting an idea.
16:54And so now, if you happen to be in Foggy Bog, Wisconsin,
16:57any Saturday afternoon,
16:59drop by the fairgrounds and you'll hear...
17:03Step right up, folks.
17:05Three sponges for a dime.
17:07Dunk the Duchess and win a prize.
17:10Right this way.
17:11Oh!
17:12Oh!
17:13Oh, this is most humiliating, Hoppity.
17:16You mean getting hit with sponges, Louie?
17:18No.
17:19Working at an honest job.
17:21It just ain't my nature.
17:23And as the sun sinks slowly behind our soggy scenery,
17:27we take leave of our friends once more.
17:30With saddened hearts and tear-filled eyes,
17:33we...
17:34Wait a minute!
17:35We're coming back again with another story!
17:37Sure, we'll be back before you can say
17:39Toy Boat three times real fast.
17:42Toy Boat!
17:43Toy Boat!
17:44To...
17:45Well, watch for the further adventures of Hoppity Hooper!
17:49Uh, Toy Boat.
17:50Toy Boat.
17:51Toy Boat.
17:52Toy Boat.
17:53Toy Boat.
17:54Toy Boat.
17:55Toy Boat.
17:56Toy Boat.
18:10Ladies and gentlemen, it's time now for an important message from our sponsor.
18:14Watch!
18:18We'll return to our program after these messages.
18:21...because I couldn't pole vault over that bar up there.
18:24Oh, what?
18:26Yes, you see, Hoppity, I've been training Fillmore all week to be a great track man, and...
18:32Hoppity.
18:33Hoppity, where is he, Fillmore?
18:35I don't know, Professor. He was here a minute ago.
18:38He just jumped and...
18:39That's it! He jumped!