Sammy Sammy E012
Category
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00Yeah, that's right, sippin' that gin and juice, I hear that
00:04Sammy, why are you always watching rap videos?
00:06Cause Snoop's got it together
00:08He's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind
00:11Oh, that's similar to your credo, isn't it?
00:13Except you've got your mind on my money and my money on your mind
00:16Hey, don't try to rap, thin boy slim, it doesn't become you
00:19You sound like one of them Spice Girls
00:21Okay, Old Spice
00:22Ah, I beat you to it
00:24You're missing a step, you're doing easy jokes
00:27You're too predictable, buddy, it worries me
00:29Move out by five
00:30Oh, I didn't see that one coming
00:32Good man, now throw me the clicker
00:47Low five
00:56Low five
00:59Low five
01:06Low five
01:11Good night, Jamie
01:13Thanks again for letting me and the kids stay the night
01:16Todd, you guys live here
01:17Oh, yeah, right, never mind
01:25Ah
01:30Lola?
01:32Lola?
01:34Ah, Lola!
01:35Oh, God, it's all my fault
01:38I made Lola run away
01:40All right, take it easy, Todd
01:41She probably just snuck out to go see the Backstreet Boys
01:43N'Sync, Jamie, N'Sync
01:45Come on, get with the program
01:49Dad, why are you sneaking in?
01:50No one cares what time you get home
01:51Hey, just keeping in practice, never know
01:53Hey, believe it or not, I may not live here with you forever
01:56Promise?
01:57So what's with all the hullabalooza?
01:59Oh, I wouldn't let Lola go to her concert alone
02:02And she got really mad at me and she ran away
02:04And it's all my fault
02:06You told a 12-year-old she couldn't go to a rock and roll show with her friends?
02:09Geez, why don't you just give her a bus pass to a pimp's house?
02:12Sammy
02:13I'm just saying
02:15But only one in ten runaways is typically found in that condition, Craig
02:19Now this is my cop friend talking
02:22Hey, there you are, any luck?
02:23No, the police said the best thing we can do is wait here in case she shows up
02:27Well, let's keep a good thought
02:29After all, children are God's precious gifts of life
02:32I mean, that's what we're really talking about here
02:34Excuse me, Sammy, but where was this precious sentiment of yours when we were growing up?
02:39Let's focus, shall we, Gary?
02:41Okay, who wants to hope she comes home soon cordial?
02:46Oh, Lola!
02:48You had me so worried! Are you okay?
02:51Gabriela, what are you doing here?
02:53Lola showed up at my place
02:55Lola, don't you have something to say to your father?
02:58Oh yeah, sorry
03:02Bobby!
03:05Nice place, Jamie
03:07Lola, thank goodness you're safe
03:11Oh, my God!
03:14Oh, bonjour, mademoiselle, vous êtes si chaleureuse!
03:19Sammy
03:20Sammy, nous nous connaissons peut-être?
03:22Car je pense que je me souviens de rencontrer telle une belle femme chaleureuse comme vous
03:26Je suis votre fille-en-law, Gabriela
03:29Oui, bien...
03:31Eh bien, regardez l'heure, c'est à l'heure
03:44Go, go team, go!
03:46Go!
03:50Yeah!
03:54Wow, you're big!
03:55Yep, I'm going to turn pro!
03:57Hey, me too!
03:59Hey wait, what's your name?
04:01Gabriela!
04:02I'll never forget it!
04:06Oh, I think I love that Gary Ola
04:14Oh, Todd, I was wondering, do you want to get something to eat?
04:19Do I?
04:20Todd, I meant with me
04:22Hey, even better!
04:26And when I'm not doing massage, I study French at the Y
04:30Wow, you're really turning your life around for the better
04:34Hey, does Jamie let you use the pool anytime you want?
04:38Sure, yeah, well, except for the time Craig had the squirts in it
04:42Then nobody went in for about a week
04:46And what about the tennis court?
04:48No, I don't think Craig ever had the squirts on the tennis court
04:51No, does Jamie let you use the tennis court?
04:55I suppose, but what does that got to do with the squirts?
04:58And do you get to go to premieres and meet movie stars?
05:01Too, just last week I met Miss Elaine Boosler
05:05Oh, Todd, where did we go wrong?
05:08Oh, who knows?
05:10I think it was the little disagreements that finally did us in
05:14For instance, I generally like staying home and watching sports on TV
05:18Whereas you preferred to go out and have sex with every guy that wasn't me
05:22Oh, Todd, I miss those days
05:25Yeah
05:28Todd and Gabriella have been gone a long time
05:31Just play the cards
05:33Don't you think it's a little weird, them going out for dinner like this?
05:36Are you kidding me?
05:38Some of the hottest sex I ever had with your mother occurred after our divorce
05:42Well, I mean, yes, Gary, that is a little peculiar
05:47Gary does have a point, last time Gabriella left Todd, he didn't get out of bed for a whole month
05:51In bed for a whole month and not once doing a horizontal bop?
05:54At least tell people you had the measles, jeez, got a family name to protect
06:02Hey guys, Gabriella's moving in
06:09Why does everyone look so mad?
06:11Because you're a damn fool, I have a fool for a brother
06:14And a deadbeat for a father
06:16What? Hey, don't drag me into this, let's focus on the fool
06:21We're not mad, Todd, we're just, we're concerned
06:23Don't listen to them, buddy, they're just jealous
06:26Can it, Sammy
06:27Todd, she'll destroy you again
06:29Leave the boy alone, what's your problem with Gabriella anyway?
06:32Well, for starters, she hardly ever sees her kids
06:34Yeah, she's giving them space, letting them grow
06:36You gotta admire that
06:38I know you do
06:39Alright, maybe things did work out in the past
06:42But my Gabriella is a changed woman
06:45Yeah? How's that?
06:47She speaks French
06:48Oh, but Todd...
06:49Hey, we gave Sammy a second chance, didn't we?
06:51Was that a shot? You get one freebie
06:53Quiet
06:54And I don't know if you've noticed, guys, but I've been pretty lonely
06:57And the kids, well, they deserve to have as many parents as possible
07:05Go, crocky hunter, smack that gator with your good arm
07:08Oh
07:09You don't need it
07:10Hey, what, what are you doing?
07:13Oh, you don't need it
07:15Hey, what, what are you doing?
07:17What's wrong?
07:18You know, just traipse into my house, change my TV and drink my beer
07:22Oh, I was under the impression this was Jamie's house
07:27Jamie!
07:28What, what's the matter?
07:29Hey, I'm just cooking up some beer-battered shrimp for dinner from the cooking show
07:33I mean, that's okay, right?
07:35Of course
07:36But I...
07:37Sam, don't give her any grief
07:38Gabriella's cooking, what are you doing for us?
07:40I had the ambiance, why do you think people like to come here?
07:44Clear out, let her do what she needs to do
07:46But she...
07:48Didn't we learn nothing from Vietnam?
07:53Don't wait for me, guys, dig in
07:55This is great
07:58I got to admit, this sure tastes good
08:01I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for welcoming me back into your hearts
08:06Cheers
08:07Cheers
08:10You're not eating
08:11I'm allergic
08:12To shrimp?
08:13To B.S.
08:19You can fool some of the people some of the time
08:22What are you blabbering about?
08:23That Gabriella, if that is indeed her nom de plume, that's right
08:27I too can play the French card
08:29Soon she'll drop her guard
08:31Or her suit, either way I'll be there
08:33Look, I'm not thrilled about this either
08:35But she's done nothing but wait on us all hand and foot
08:37I think we owe it to her to give her another chance
08:39Mark my words, Jamie, your forgiving nature will come back to bite you in the hiney
08:43Oh, it already has
08:45Okay, that was a shot
08:46Jeez, you don't even bother to hide them anymore
08:49I'm telling you, that strumpet is up to something
08:52And it's along the lines of no good
08:55Oh, give it a rest
09:05Hey, what's little Jamie doing out this late?
09:10Why, that cunning little harlot
09:16Some people have no respect for other people's property
09:25Ah, a reclined seat
09:27Looks like somebody's been four on the floor
09:29And I don't mean driving
09:40So you went for a little ride last night, huh?
09:42Or should I say you're taking my son Todd on one?
09:45Oh, hey, that was pretty good
09:47Sammy, I'm afraid I don't comprend what you're talking about
09:50Really, missy? Well, comprend this, French whore
09:53I will not let you hurt Todd or my grandkids
09:56This mansion ain't big enough for the two of us
09:58I know
09:59What?
10:00Oh, you heard me
10:01Face it, old man, you're past your prime
10:03It's my turn to ride the gravy train now
10:05Oh, I see your challenge, and I will meet it head on
10:09That said, are you as turned on as I am?
10:11No
10:13Oh, I see
10:14Oh, well
10:15Adieu
10:16Huh?
10:17I said adieu, you didn't know it, it's French
10:23You know what would make this perfect, Todd?
10:26Uh, waffles?
10:28Uh, well, I was going to say if we could stay like this forever, but...
10:32Okay, but only if you make them from scratch
10:35Scratch my ass? I'll cook them myself
10:39I'll miss you
10:41Oh, gee, I...
10:46Hey, Cathy, gotta make waffles
10:48Hey, baby
10:50Yeah, he's gone
10:52Oh, I miss you too, sugar, but that's just gotta be the way it is for now
10:57We still on for tonight?
10:59I love you
11:05James, I just overheard Gabrielle on the phone
11:07She's cheating on Todd
11:08What?
11:09I heard her make a date for tonight
11:11Oh, my God
11:12Oh, who do you believe?
11:13We have to do something about this before she destroys Todd
11:16Let's just tell Todd that Gabby's still a skank and grab some tacos
11:19Sammy, Todd's in love, he's not gonna believe anything we say about her
11:22We need to show him proof that she's playing him
11:24You mean like me sleeping with her?
11:25What?
11:26You have to catch her in the act
11:27The act with me, right?
11:29No, we have to follow her on this date-averse
11:31But if this guy isn't, how shall we say, up to the task?
11:34I fill in, right? I give it to her?
11:38I'm just brainstorming here
11:45Privatey, why don't you just rent a freaking kayak?
11:47It would have been a little hard to tail Gabrielle in the jag and not get noticed
11:50No, James, hard is not being able to low-five you
11:53because my hand's wedged somewhere between my ass and a glove box
11:57Focus, we're doing this for Todd, remember?
11:59Hey, did you bring the video camera?
12:01It's in the back
12:02There's a back?
12:03All right, we get it, the car's tiny
12:06There's a back, hey Blake, got some good ones
12:12Hey, there's my friends Chuck and Marty
12:14I guess the rumors are true, mine is not to judge
12:17Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I got stoned and made out with a guy?
12:20What?
12:21Jamie, it was the 90's, people did things like that in those days
12:24Can you just find Gabrielle's room?
12:26Where'd you put the blank tape?
12:27It's back there somewhere
12:29I remember chucking it aside when I was looking for my chiclets
12:34Hey, I found the room
12:36Where?
12:37Second floor
12:38But I can only get the tops of their heads, we gotta get up higher
12:42Are you getting them?
12:44Almost
12:45I'm gonna jump across to the roof
12:49I don't think you understand the laws of gravity
12:51Jamie, laws are made to be broken
12:53So are old rickety bones
12:55So you don't believe I can do it, do you?
12:57No, it's not that, dad
12:59Well, watch this
13:00Laugh a second
13:02And one
13:04And two
13:05Here I go, three, look at me
13:12You okay?
13:13I think I broke my ass
13:15In three places
13:17Hey, it still works
13:18Unlike my booty
13:21Oh my god, we got her
13:27I didn't see anything
13:29But I definitely heard something
13:33Which one?
13:34Come on, stupid remote
13:38There we go
13:39Wow, you guys
13:41You know, this is a real eye-opener
13:43I've been such a fool
13:45It's okay, Todd, we're here for you
13:47How could I have been so stupid?
13:50The heart wants what it wants
13:52Now there's only one thing left for me to do
13:56We did it
13:57Oui, this is gonna be good
13:59Like the thriller in Manila
14:01The rubble in the jungle
14:03The something that rhymes with something else
14:05Get her, boy
14:08Gabby, it's time
14:10Time to end this charade
14:12Todd
14:13Sammy and James have opened my eyes
14:15Oh yeah, they showed me that video of you with another man
14:18But Todd, I...
14:20She's on the rope, son, work the body
14:22Quiet, he knows what to do
14:23Now look, I know you're in demand
14:25And I know I'd be a fool to let you slip through my fingers again
14:28What?
14:29So, if I may be so bold
14:31I'd like permission to cut in front of this long line of men
14:35And ask you to marry me
14:38Oh my God, Todd
14:40Well, of course I will
14:44I give up
14:51Todd, when we showed you the video
14:53What we were trying to tell you was...
14:54She's boinking everyone but you
14:56Now I know you're all trying to protect me from getting hurt
14:59And I love you for it
15:00She's a low down dirty hoe
15:02The lowest, the dirtiest and the hoiest
15:04For once, I agree with Sammy
15:06Oh, you guys
15:08All right, now, if you'll excuse me
15:10I'm gonna go find the tux and get ready for my wedding
15:13Oh, there's just no talking to him
15:15Don't worry, guys, I'll take care of this
15:18You wanted to see me?
15:19Yes, please
15:20Come in, sit down
15:23This is money, it's for you
15:25If you leave now and never come back
15:29I understand
15:30Tonight
15:31Very well
15:36Morning, Todd
15:37Hey
15:38How are you?
15:39Are you doing okay?
15:42Morning, Jamie
15:43Flapjacks?
15:45That witch, that conniving little witch
15:48How come nobody saved me any flapjacks?
15:50Okay, it's up to me
15:51I'll take care of it
15:54Hey, baby
15:56Yeah
15:57So, you're laying out, eh?
16:01I don't know if you know this
16:03But I'm the money guy around here
16:05That's right
16:06If money's what you want
16:07Then I'm your man
16:08Really?
16:10Lotion?
16:11Sure
16:12Oh, wait
16:13Let me get my top off
16:15So you can see
16:16Okay
16:17I'll be right back
16:18Okay
16:20Oh, wait
16:21Let me get my top off
16:23So you can get every inch of me
16:25Uh-huh
16:26Oh, but first
16:27I want to kiss you
16:29I want to kiss you
16:31Long, hard and deep
16:36Like you could do better
16:38Yes, I can
16:40It takes a delicate touch
16:41To handle a woman such as this
16:46Your time is up, bitch
16:50Easy
16:51We're all friends here
16:57Talk about your lucky shot
16:59I can't believe this is happening
17:01Hey, guys
17:02The tux from my first wedding still fits
17:04You look like a movie star, Todd
17:06Yes, John Candy comes to mind
17:08Super talent
17:09Oh, thanks
17:10Hey, you guys go ahead
17:12I gotta take care of one last thing
17:16Honey, it's gonna be fine
17:18We'll have sex on the weekends
17:20Oh, honey, honey, I gotta go
17:22I know it's bad luck to see you before the wedding
17:24But, well, I couldn't keep this bottled up any longer
17:27Todd, I have a headache
17:29Huh?
17:30Anyways, I got a great surprise for you
17:33Heaven on blocks
17:35A trailer park?
17:37I don't get it
17:38Why would we want to leave this place?
17:40So we can have a place that's all our own
17:42You know, where two can be as one
17:45Oh, I know that look
17:47I'm excited, too
17:49Hey, I'll see you downstairs
17:51Mrs. Todd Alonzo Blake
17:53For the second time
17:58Boy, I wonder what's taking her so long
18:00She's probably thumbing through catalogs
18:02Trying to figure out how she's gonna spend James' money
18:05I say she's upstairs boinking a caterer
18:07Aw, you guys are the best
18:09Kathy, could you check on Gabriella?
18:14Oh, my God
18:15Lola
18:16Lola
18:17Uh, she left, didn't she?
18:19I'm sure, she probably just...
18:21Yeah, you okay?
18:23I'm fine, she leaves
18:25That's what she does
18:26It's my father we should be worried about
18:28I don't deserve a man as decent as you
18:31You're a wonderful father
18:33And the kids are very lucky to have you
18:36Gabriella
18:38Women, you can't live with them and you...
18:41Yeah, I got nothing
18:42Come on, boys, open bar
18:45Écrire cette note, c'était très gentil de toi
18:49Viens, père, dansons
18:51C'est un mariage bizarre, hein?
18:53Ouais, je pense
18:55Mais ça aurait été sympa pour vous, les enfants, d'avoir une mère
18:58On a eu toi, père
19:00T'as rien, t'as ton grand-père
19:02Maintenant, on va faire du boudin
19:04Meringue!
19:14Sous-titres réalisés para la communauté d'Amara.org