My Prison Husband Is Not 'Using Me' | LOVE DON'T JUDGE
AFTER ONE YEAR of writing to each other via a prison pen pal service, Bleu and Jay decided to tie the knot. The pair were first introduced by Bleu's friend, who had been writing to another inmate living in the same pod as Jay. At first, Bleu was skeptical. "I didn't grow up as a little girl and be like, Oh, I want to be with an inmate. Like, that sounds so cool," Bleu said. "So when they introduced us, I was not for it. And we ended up falling in love." After getting married in secret, Bleu gave her parents the news over the phone - and it didn't go down well. "My biggest regret when getting married was the fact that my parents weren't there," Bleu added. "I told them over the phone because I was scared of looking them in the eye and seeing the disappointment in my dad's face." Now the couple are planning and dreaming about their future together in the hope of Jay getting released once he's eligible for parole - in four years' time. Bleu's decision to stay with Jay has been met with a lot of criticism, from close family to strangers online. Bleu said: "Yes, I know my relationship is a little unconventional, considering where my husband is. I know where the stereotypes that come in with it lie. But ultimately, I love him genuinely, and I know he loves me just as much, if not more."
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NewsTranscript
00:00 This is Blue.
00:02 She fell in love with JB.
00:06 I had to marry him.
00:07 Okay.
00:09 I stand by my decision saying I had to marry him.
00:12 Yes, I had to marry him.
00:14 ♪♪
00:17 I am Blue, and I married my husband over the phone.
00:21 People judge my relationship because my husband's in prison.
00:25 I met my husband February 2022.
00:30 My friend was talking to somebody in his pod,
00:33 and he kept hearing my voice over the phone.
00:35 And he's like, "Who is that?"
00:37 After some convincing,
00:39 they talked us into getting to know each other.
00:43 I didn't grow up as a little girl and be like,
00:45 "Oh, I want to be with an inmate.
00:47 Like, that sounds so cool."
00:48 The stereotypes that come with it,
00:51 I believed all of them.
00:53 So when they introduced us, I was not for it.
00:56 And I ended up falling in love.
01:00 [ Laughs ]
01:02 As a bigger woman, I was still very self-conscious
01:05 about putting myself out there.
01:07 So I made sure I sent him a picture of every angle.
01:12 I let him know my weight, my height.
01:16 And his response back to me was, "You're beautiful.
01:20 I don't care what size you are."
01:22 And, "Let me see some more of them angles,
01:24 'cause you look good."
01:26 Our first meeting was --
01:29 I thought it was gonna be awkward.
01:31 It was the complete opposite.
01:33 I just locked eyes with him for, like, five minutes,
01:35 it seems like.
01:37 And even not touching him, I could feel him.
01:41 So I grabbed the phone, and he's like, "Hi, beautiful."
01:45 And I instantly just started crying,
01:46 because the man that I've been in love with for the last year,
01:51 the person that I call my best friend,
01:54 is, like, finally in front of me.
01:56 And I fell in love with him all over again
01:59 for the first time at our first visit.
02:02 Me and my husband got married in secret.
02:05 I think my biggest regret when getting married
02:08 was the fact that my parents weren't there.
02:10 I told them over the phone,
02:11 because I was scared of looking them in the eye
02:15 and seeing the disappointment in my dad's face.
02:18 We got married by proxy.
02:21 We did our ceremony over the phone.
02:23 So he called in, we spoke, we did the ceremony,
02:27 we said our own vows, and then, um, voila, we were married.
02:34 There was no exchanging of rings or anything,
02:36 but he did get me a ring, which is the one I have on my hand.
02:42 So my mom's gonna be coming over
02:44 to talk about me and JB's relationship.
02:48 Me and my mother got into a fight really bad one time.
02:52 And she said, well, at least I didn't have to go to prison
02:56 to find someone to love me.
03:00 And that hurt like hell.
03:03 How did you feel when you first found out
03:06 it was Jaden, JB, and he was in prison?
03:11 I told you from the beginning that I supported you,
03:16 but I didn't recommend you date somebody that was in prison,
03:20 especially somebody that still had some time to do.
03:26 But now that you know JB and you've gotten to know him,
03:30 are you -- like, do you still have the same concerns
03:33 that you did before?
03:35 Yes.
03:36 I mean, I'm happy that y'all were --
03:39 y'all are still talking, and you --
03:42 you didn't have to get married.
03:44 I mean, he's a good guy. He's a great guy.
03:47 Well, why did you have to get married?
03:48 Why couldn't you wait for him to get out to get married?
03:52 I had to marry him.
03:53 Okay.
03:55 I stand by my decision saying I had to marry him.
03:58 Yes, I had to marry him.
04:01 He was sentenced to 30 years at the age of 17, turning 18.
04:05 He's done 11 so far.
04:08 He has to do 15 in order to be eligible for parole,
04:11 which is gonna be February 2028.
04:15 If that is denied,
04:16 then every six months after that, he comes up.
04:20 So there's no telling how much time he has left.
04:22 ♪♪
04:25 I'm going to phone JB.
04:29 I talk to him multiple times a day, every day.
04:32 An inmate at [bleep] Unit.
04:35 This call is being recorded and is subject to monitoring.
04:38 Hi, honey.
04:39 Hey, beautiful.
04:41 So, my love, what are your plans
04:46 for when you come home to me, for when you get out of prison?
04:49 I don't know.
04:51 I'm going to have my own business until then.
04:55 I'ma spoil you that.
04:58 How many babies are we having?
05:00 We're gonna chill after three.
05:01 We're gonna chill after three?
05:04 You know, get reproof, figure some things out.
05:08 [ Laughs ]
05:09 Baby, how do you think we maintain our relationship so well?
05:13 No matter how, what the problem is,
05:15 we find a way to overcome it
05:17 because we know each other so well.
05:21 You know what I'm saying?
05:22 Mm-hmm.
05:24 You know I'm proud of you, right,
05:25 and everything that you've done and you continue to do?
05:29 I get the normal stereotypes.
05:32 He's using you for the money.
05:35 You have no self-respect.
05:37 You're delusional.
05:38 And I'm not naive to the stereotypes.
05:42 I think that the only reason I get the criticism that I do
05:46 is because I'm a bigger woman,
05:47 because I've seen other prison wives,
05:50 and if they're skinnier, prettier,
05:55 more societally attractive, they're considered ride-or-die.
05:59 But because they see me,
06:01 I'm automatically considered dumb and stupid.
06:05 This is probably the first handwritten letter he sent me.
06:10 "I wake up next to this beautiful woman
06:12 I'm proud to call my wife.
06:14 We fall asleep in each other's arms again,
06:16 but when I wake up, she's out of my embrace
06:19 and sleeping with her back towards me.
06:21 I'm just blessed to have such a wonderful
06:23 and amazing woman to call my wife,
06:25 and I'm always gonna be here.
06:26 I already got my mind made up,
06:28 but it's best for me to have you a part of my life."
06:33 And then he rambles off into something
06:35 that I can't speak about.
06:38 Our relationship dynamic is dom-sub.
06:41 Our rules, like, we don't ever discuss our arguments
06:44 with anybody but each other.
06:46 We don't argue in public,
06:47 'cause that's our number-one boundary.
06:49 We never call each other out our-- each other's names.
06:53 We never go to sleep mad.
06:57 Um...
06:59 And we let each other talk.
07:01 If there's no mutual respect, it's not gonna work.
07:05 Do I love you?
07:11 I don't remember saying that.
07:13 No, I'm just playing.
07:15 I'm just playing, I'm just playing, I'm just playing.
07:18 I love you bunches. I love you bunches.
07:23 Him going to prison probably saved his life.
07:27 So I firmly believe me meeting him in prison
07:30 was probably the right thing for us.
07:33 Being a prison wife is not easy.
07:36 Being a prison wife is not for the weak.
07:39 If you want to hate on it and you want to talk about it, do it.
07:43 But it takes a strong, strong person
07:47 to deal with this lifestyle.
07:49 But at the same time, as long as it's with him,
07:53 I'd do it all over again, and I'd do it again,
07:56 just because it's him.
07:58 I ain't doing this sh-- again for nobody else but him.
08:02 Uno, dos, tres.
08:04 [music]
08:06 [silence]
08:09 [silence]
08:12 [BLANK_AUDIO]