WHEN RENN and Durden got together, they realised that they wanted more than a conventional monogamous relationship. Renn told Love Don't Judge: "I've always known that I was bi. He [Durden] came out about a year-and-a-half into our relationship." The couple decided to open up their relationship and experiment with other men and women. While Renn is accepted for being bisexual, it's not the case for Durden. He explained: "We get death threats, we get people trying to call CPS." Renn added: "We've had multiple videos of us going viral for him being bi." In this episode of Love Don't Judge, the pair will be meeting with Renn's mom, Robin, to find out her opinion of their relationship. She asks the couple: "Where do you see this going long-term?"
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00:00I'm Wren and this is my partner, Gerdon.
00:02My life lets me sleep with Ben.
00:04We get death threats, we get people trying to call CPS.
00:07We have an open relationship.
00:09I've always known that I was bi.
00:11People truly don't believe that bi men exist.
00:14Your husband is gay, you mean gay.
00:16No such thing as a guy who's bi, just gay.
00:18He's gay, super gay, you mean you have a gay husband.
00:21A lot of throw up emojis.
00:24I wanted to ask, where do you see this going long term?
00:28It's like, do you think that we'll have an open relationship forever?
00:34I'm Wren and this is my partner, Gerdon.
00:36And I let him sleep with other men.
00:38We met on Tinder.
00:39Well, I immediately thought she was way out of my league.
00:42She just looked really sweet and genuine.
00:44I thought you looked a little bit of a d-bag.
00:47My plan was to hit it and quit it.
00:50Neither of us were looking for a relationship.
00:52And I don't know, from that day, it's been incestual.
00:55Yeah.
00:56We were both married previously.
00:57So I think for us getting into our relationship,
01:00we wanted to do it right.
01:02I've always known that I was bi.
01:04So I think for me, it was more just like
01:07being able to have a safe place to accept that.
01:11He came out, what, like a year and a half
01:13into our relationship as being bi.
01:15And I think for us having deep conversations,
01:18it was kind of me being like, babe, I think you might be bi.
01:21And that was kind of what led to us being in an open relationship.
01:25We would have experiences with single men
01:27and have experiences with single women
01:29and give each other the freedom to explore that.
01:32I never get judgment for being a bi woman,
01:34but he consistently gets judgment for being a bi man.
01:37We've had multiple 3 million, 5 million videos
01:41of us going viral for being bi,
01:44basically for him being bi.
01:46We go live on TikTok all the time,
01:48and we get flooded with hate.
01:49Sometimes we get death threats.
01:51We get people trying to call CPS.
01:53I can't stop laughing.
01:54Your relationship's a joke.
01:56Why get married?
01:57I really don't believe this bi thing.
02:00He's more into himself than he is with you.
02:03Go to church.
02:04I can't unsee this.
02:05A lot of throw up emojis.
02:07This makes me want to chug bleach.
02:09Your husband is gay.
02:10You mean gay?
02:11No such thing as a guy who's bi, just gay.
02:14Oh no, he's gay, super gay.
02:16You mean you have a gay husband?
02:17I mean, it goes on and on.
02:19It's just every comment is hate.
02:23I'm having an off day, and I'm in my head.
02:25Of course, these comments don't help,
02:27but most of the time I'm able just to brush it off
02:30and realize that these people aren't very happy
02:33in their own life.
02:34People truly don't believe that bi men exist.
02:37They think that it's only something
02:39that can happen for women.
02:40I think it's crazy.
02:41I'm over here supporting you,
02:43and we have a very healthy, happy relationship.
02:46The first three years of us being in an open relationship
02:49was kind of rocky,
02:50because you're exploring boundaries,
02:51and you're figuring out what's going to work for you.
02:53Back in the day, we had rules of no kissing,
02:55no eye contact, don't call him baby,
02:58don't call him daddy.
02:59It wasn't anything that he was doing, per se,
03:02that was making me feel jealous.
03:03It was my own insecurities,
03:05and so I think the more that we worked on that together,
03:08the more that we kind of got over jealousy.
03:10Everyone's going to experience jealousy,
03:12but I think that's how you work through it.
03:14I actually like being jealous.
03:16We travel once a month,
03:17and most of what we go to are called hotel takeovers.
03:20So essentially, a company will rent an entire hotel,
03:23and it's a three- to four-day party.
03:26So you really just get to go and be free and authentic.
03:30There's playrooms, there's...
03:32Playrooms are great.
03:33So we're going to go meet up with my mom for lunch.
03:35What do you want to wear?
03:36My sense of style, how would I describe it?
03:39I like bright, neon things.
03:42I like tight-fitting body suits.
03:45You wouldn't even think that a man could fit into that.
03:49I like to be comfy.
03:50I like to show off a little bit.
03:52I always say it's a little bit homeless,
03:54but a little bit stylish.
03:55Homeless chic?
03:56Yeah, homeless chic is my style.
03:58He's such a humble person,
04:00and actually really shy,
04:02but his fashion is the complete opposite,
04:04because he wakes up every day and puts on a crop top.
04:07In the summertime,
04:08he's wearing booty shorts pretty much every day,
04:10and he's got a nice...
04:11I started off with wearing crops to the gym,
04:14and once I realized,
04:15hey, you know what?
04:16People really don't care.
04:17I just started gradually getting more aggressive.
04:20I don't get any slack in public.
04:22It's mainly online.
04:24People will be like,
04:25oh, you wore that in public?
04:26Well, I mean,
04:27he's been kicked out of three gyms
04:29for what he wears to the gym.
04:30They're like,
04:31why did you steal your wife's shirt?
04:33Do you guys share clothes?
04:35I love tight-fitting clothes on men.
04:38I think that it accentuates their assets, you know?
04:41I like that he can express himself,
04:43and he can be comfortable expressing himself.
04:46Today, we're going to meet up with my mom
04:48to chat about our relationship.
04:49A little bit of nerves there, for sure.
04:51What about you?
04:52Are you feeling nervous at all?
04:54A little anxious.
04:56Lauren is my daughter.
04:57She's my firstborn.
04:58I would just like to ask my daughter and Durden,
05:01you know,
05:02are they happy?
05:04So, when I came out to you
05:06as having an open relationship,
05:08how did you feel about that?
05:10Well, at first,
05:11there's always concerns, you know?
05:15Like, how are other people going to respond to it?
05:18Or what kind of impact that's going to have
05:20on some of our closer family members?
05:23Also, I believe in the power of self-expression fully.
05:28And I wanted you to be true to yourself
05:33and have the life that you want to have.
05:36And the fact that you have someone to share that with
05:39who is just as open and understanding,
05:42I mean, I don't know.
05:43It gives me a sense of security.
05:45Yeah, you're kind of like us fighting a person
05:47that's, like, accepting.
05:48I wanted to ask,
05:50where do you see this going long-term?
05:54Yeah.
05:55Like, do you think that we'll be in the lifestyle,
05:58like, have an open relationship forever?
06:01Um...
06:02I mean, not forever,
06:04but probably, like, in our 60s,
06:06I would still see us having a lifestyle like this.
06:09I definitely foresee us always being open,
06:12always being, like, in the community.
06:14Maybe not going to, like, events.
06:16Yeah, or, like, will we always, like, share forever?
06:19I don't know, probably not.
06:20Maybe, like, 60, 70 and...
06:23Jealousy is definitely something that we've had to navigate
06:26in our relationship, uh, 12, 13 years.
06:29I feel like the first three years were our hardest years.
06:32It's hard to admit you're jealous sometimes.
06:35Being able to admit that helps.
06:39So, I've got a question now.
06:41Um, what do you think about my outfits?
06:44Do you like them, or...
06:46Your outfits, honestly,
06:48it was a little bit of a setback at first.
06:50It just kind of threw me off,
06:52because, you know, I come from a different generation.
06:54But then, at the same time,
06:56I felt so empowered when I heard
06:58that other people at the gym
07:00were, like, asking you where you got your stuff.
07:03So, would you say you pretty much accept our lifestyle, girl?
07:07Yes, absolutely.
07:09Yeah, I'm very...
07:11I accept and support your lifestyle.
07:14Yeah.
07:16I love the fact that we're on this, like, journey together,
07:19where we're, like, trying to end stigmas
07:21and show other people that it's okay
07:23to be outside of the box in a relationship.
07:25You've given me, you know,
07:27the confidence to do what I do,
07:29the ability to get what I do,
07:31and the support.
07:33And, I mean, it's...
07:36I think that, like,
07:38if you are feeling a need to judge somebody,
07:41it's probably because you're not feeling satisfied
07:43in your own life, your own connection.
07:45And if you have something wrong
07:47with, like, two people living authentically,
07:50I don't know.
07:52I don't know what to tell them.
08:05You