Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Saleem Albela | Agha Majid | Comedy Show | 7th January 2023
Category
😹
FunTranscript
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04:28 Thank you, sir.
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11:15 Excellent.
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19:04 I'll shave your head. - Me? - Yes.
19:07 He'll break your head and I'll break his face.
19:11 Your gloves are not matching with your attire, right?
19:13 The thing is, they are not matching.
19:16 I bought them on my way over.
19:18 He didn't have the options. What could I do?
19:20 I thought the clothes you bought don't have gloves.
19:24 It looks as if you bought it and then...
19:26 ...struck your toe with a pocket knife.
19:29 For Rs. 200.
19:32 I've paid a lot of rent. - You bought these gloves on rent?
19:34 I didn't buy them on rent. - You bought them?
19:37 You know, this is a matter of luck. - Yes.
19:39 You can't find such things in the market.
19:42 And let me tell you, he didn't buy them alone.
19:45 Then? - I bought two.
19:47 One of these and one of my bag.
19:48 I thought you'd say you bought two.
19:50 We'll have this meeting some other day.
19:57 There's a cute baby in the audience.
19:58 She's crying and no one is talking to me.
20:00 Oh, God!
20:03 She's trying to hold the mic.
20:05 You look beautiful today.
20:07 Thank you, Mr. Agha.
20:08 In English films, the girl is shot at the back of the door.
20:12 And you look beautiful too.
20:15 Okay. - I mean, all of you.
20:17 You've spent all the money you could.
20:23 I think you've lost your money.
20:26 Poverty. - Why?
20:29 Money.
20:31 Mr. Agha, where did you get this stamp from?
20:33 I got it in the last election.
20:36 Let's go to the audience.
20:38 She's crying.
20:39 Trust me. - I'll make you pay.
20:41 Do you know how old this girl is?
20:44 I asked her. She's one year old.
20:46 Okay. - Okay.
20:47 I feel like I'm still a kid.
20:50 Hello!
20:52 Goga is younger. He's the same age.
20:55 Let's put him in the stove.
20:58 I told her, "Why are you calling him a kid?"
21:00 She said, "Put him in the stove."
21:01 Who will speak first?
21:04 Hello. - Hello.
21:06 I watch your show with love.
21:08 Thank you. - I feel good watching your show.
21:11 I feel very happy.
21:12 Thank you very much.
21:14 I brought my kids. They wanted to watch it too.
21:16 I felt very good. - Thank you very much.
21:18 You didn't tell us your name.
21:19 Alina. - Alina, thank you very much
21:22 for liking our show.
21:23 I always watch it.
21:25 Okay. You must be busy.
21:27 I'm busy with my kids.
21:29 This girl is your.. - My granddaughter.
21:33 Granddaughter. - You don't look like a grandmother.
21:36 Yes. - You look like one.
21:38 I'm a grandmother.
21:42 This is about fitness.
21:45 Thank you very much.
21:47 Remember me in your prayers.
21:49 Next. - Hello.
21:51 My name is Mohammad Amar.
21:52 I want to recite a poetry.
21:54 Go ahead. - In my words..
21:56 ..keep my name in your heart.
21:58 I'm far from you.
22:00 Keep me in your heart.
22:02 Wow. - Don't let me forget.
22:04 Keep my memories and moments in your heart.
22:09 Wow. - I want to love you.
22:12 I want to love you.
22:13 Don't leave me. I'm scared of the world.
22:16 Wow. - He's scared.
22:18 This was a poem.
22:21 It was a message.
22:22 Listen to me. You're gone.
22:25 I know where you're gone.
22:28 Take care.
22:29 You love her. She has 6 lakhs.
22:32 He's a rare man. - Why?
22:35 He's a small man.
22:38 Charlie is also a small man.
22:41 Why? - I'm not telling you.
22:43 Yes. - Hello.
22:49 I used to wear glasses.
22:51 Your show is popular in Pakistan.
22:54 I want you to do a segment of it.
22:57 We'll do a drama based on Anakwala Jinn.
23:01 We've made Anakwala Jinn.
23:05 We can't do Anakwala Jinn because Zakuuta's character..
23:08 Yes, it's possible.
23:10 What did he do? - Tell us.
23:14 I can do Zakuuta's character.
23:17 But there's a witch.. Okay.
23:19 There is.
23:21 There is a witch..
23:23 There is.
23:24 Okay. - And Anakwala Jinn's glasses..
23:29 Yes, there is.
23:31 Sir, there's a lamp.
23:34 Yes. - Hello.
23:37 Hello. - How are you?
23:38 I'm fine. How are you? - I'm fine.
23:41 My name is Pyaari Buggy.
23:43 What's your name? - Pyaari Buggy.
23:45 It's Pyaari. What's Buggy?
23:47 It's a name. - Sir, don't call me lovingly.
23:49 I have a Buggy.
23:51 You don't call him your mother.
23:54 You call him your Buggy.
23:57 But it's your genuine name.
24:00 Your real name is.. - I'm called like that in the village.
24:03 What's your ID card name?
24:05 Ali Akbar. No one knows that.
24:06 What a lovely name.
24:07 It's a name. They call him Kuku.
24:09 Kuku. Everyone has it. - Really?
24:11 I swear, Kuku. - Don't they call you Nanna?
24:13 They call me Nanna. They call you Nazli.
24:18 Tell us. - All my teachers..
24:22 ..used to call me Tille.
24:24 Tille. - He's a smart guy.
24:28 Mr. Salim, you should eat something.
24:31 If the wind blows, we'll get a free medicine.
24:34 You take care of your health.
24:36 You should wear a shirt.
24:38 What's your village? - Natarjag.
24:40 When it rains, I wear Natarjag.
24:43 Okay.
24:47 Next.
24:48 Greetings. - Greetings.
24:51 What a get-up. What hair.
24:53 My name is Tarak Ali. - Wow.
24:55 I want to sing a song for you. - Go ahead.
24:57 "The little one.."
25:01 "..was a tailor."
25:05 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
25:10 "The little one was a tailor."
25:15 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
25:20 "The little one was a tailor."
25:24 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
25:28 Isn't the little one a woman?
25:30 Sing further.
25:32 I think if you give a tailor a different colour of chola..
25:35 ..he'll close the shop.
25:36 Sing further.
25:39 "The little one was a tailor."
25:44 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
25:48 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
25:52 "The little one was a tailor."
25:57 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
26:01 "The little one was a tailor."
26:06 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
26:10 Wow.
26:11 "The little one was a tailor."
26:14 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
26:19 "The little one was a tailor."
26:23 Wow.
26:24 "He didn't forget the will of the people."
26:27 Yes, dear. - Greetings.
26:28 Greetings. - My name is Reba Shroff.
26:30 I want to sing a song. - Wow.
26:32 Go ahead.
26:33 "The paths of sorrow and happiness.."
26:39 "..have been made for everyone."
26:43 "If you lose your way in sorrow, how will you face it?"
26:53 "If you find happiness, you'll find sorrow."
27:00 "If you find happiness, you'll find sorrow."
27:04 "We'll share whatever is left."
27:09 "I'm a poet."
27:13 "Look into my eyes."
27:18 "Look into my eyes."
27:22 Wow. - Wow.
27:23 Very good.
27:25 Very good.
27:26 A great poet has written a poem. - What?
27:31 "You're a poet. Follow the songs of these kids."
27:34 "You're a poet."
27:38 "Let them be poets."
27:40 What's your problem?
27:42 You've grown a beard. - Yes.
27:43 You've grown long hair.
27:45 Go and cut someone's hair. You'll be smart.
27:51 Do you have a camera?
27:53 No, I have a hair clipper.
27:56 Yes. - Greetings.
27:59 Greetings.
28:00 My name is Nimra.
28:01 I have a question for Mr. Goga.
28:04 Yes. - You look very handsome today.
28:06 Who is he? - Mr. Goga.
28:08 I'll tell you. - Brother.
28:10 He's talking.. - Look into my eyes.
28:13 Is he the one in yellow jacket? - Yes.
28:16 Okay.
28:17 He looks handsome.
28:19 He's the one who's been drinking.
28:23 We'll have a drink together.
28:27 Mr. Mhaje.. - Thank you. Thank you.
28:30 He's the one who's been drinking.
28:35 Yes.
28:37 Goga, you're great.
28:39 He didn't tell me anything.
28:40 Mr. Roon said, "Don't go by looks, go by brains."
28:43 Wow. - He's great.
28:44 He doesn't know anything.
28:47 Let me hear the question. - Yes.
28:50 Then you'll save money. What was I saying?
28:54 I was focusing on him.
28:57 Goga.. - He's focusing on the back.
28:59 Goga, I'm a party eater.
29:02 What's your question?
29:04 I wanted to ask him about his beauty.
29:08 Oh..
29:11 I'll tell you.
29:12 He's a fake witness in the court.
29:14 He's a beauty secret.
29:17 Let him keep it a secret.
29:18 He does other part time jobs.
29:21 What? - He's a juggler.
29:24 He's a part time juggler.
29:26 Goga, he doesn't come to the terrace.
29:28 Then? - He's a juggler.
29:30 He's a juggler.
29:32 You're a juggler.
29:34 He's a beauty.
29:37 Yes, tell him.
29:39 He's a beauty. Tell him.
29:42 He's a secret.
29:43 He's a secret. He's a personality.
29:45 He's an attraction.
29:47 He's a attractor.
29:50 He's a attractor.
29:52 No, Haroon, Goga has a face attractor.
29:55 He's an attraction.
29:56 Really? - He looks at you and asks, 'What is this?'
29:58 Ladies and gentlemen, a small break.
30:03 Don't go anywhere. We'll meet after the break.
30:05 A person should look good.
30:06 He should wear big brands.
30:08 Is that why you wear big brands?
30:10 No, I wear big brands
30:12 because other brands aren't big.
30:13 Oh.. - That's right.
30:16 It's understandable. - Okay.
30:18 It's a deep thing.
30:19 I've noticed that Goga wears big brands too.
30:23 "Wake up, my friends."
30:25 "Wake up, my friends."
30:29 Welcome back, viewers.
30:30 We have Ms. Sherif with us in the break.
30:32 Let's talk to her.
30:34 Greetings. - Greetings.
30:37 How are you? - I'm fine.
30:39 Ms. Sherif, since the election is near
30:42 we've heard that you're..
30:46 What are you doing?
30:47 I'm hydrated. - Okay.
30:49 I thought she was carrying popcorn.
30:52 What's this?
30:53 Mr. Haroon, I always keep my glass and water with me.
30:57 I thought it was lassi.
30:58 It should be lassi.
31:00 You're from Punjab. It should be lassi.
31:02 Drinking water keeps your skin healthy.
31:04 What happens if you drink lassi?
31:05 If I drink lassi, who will represent the other three elections?
31:09 Oh, I see.
31:10 You think you're representing the entire country.
31:13 What qualifications do you have
31:16 to become the senior vice president?
31:18 Who else would I be?
31:20 There are many great stalwarts.
31:21 Shahid Khan Abbasi, Khawaja Sahib,
31:23 Parvez Rashid. Many great ones.
31:25 You've already answered. - How?
31:27 You look decent to anyone.
31:28 Then consider Babra.
31:30 If you want to add 'Mia' to your name, that's also an option.
31:36 No, Babra.. Babrawan Teodor, no?
31:40 Not Babrawan, Babra Sherif.
31:42 We also have Mia Agha Majid.
31:45 Agha, when did Mia become a singer?
31:48 When I heard her sing, "Oh, Mia.."
31:50 I heard it, but you made me sing it.
31:54 Ma'am Sherif, usually,
31:57 people who are workers,
31:59 they come from the grassroots.
32:01 They come from the grassroots.
32:02 Jalsa, Jalus, Mare Khani,
32:04 going out on the streets, protesting, etc.
32:06 They work hard and come from the grassroots.
32:08 But you didn't do all that.
32:10 I've also come from the grassroots.
32:13 How?
32:14 I was just the chief organiser.
32:16 Oh, that too. That's a big seat.
32:18 What qualification did you have to become a chief organiser?
32:21 I married my son.
32:23 Did you see the function?
32:24 Yes, I did. It was a grand function.
32:26 How was it organised?
32:28 It was very well organised.
32:29 You saved the artists' money.
32:31 You sang it yourself.
32:32 When Mr. Mia saw the function,
32:36 he said, "You're the party's chief organiser."
32:39 Tell me, Hamza Sherif
32:42 has been working hard for the party for a long time.
32:44 He's been working hard in Punjab.
32:46 So, he's older than you.
32:49 Who's older?
32:50 You're very old.
32:52 No, not very old. Just a little.
32:55 So, Hamza Sherif is very old.
32:57 Ma'am Sherif, I have another question.
33:02 You've done a lot of interviews for tickets.
33:05 A lot of people came and you set different criteria.
33:08 But you gave the tickets to the people you were supposed to give.
33:11 What was the reason?
33:12 They weren't decent.
33:13 So, it was the criteria of decency.
33:15 No, not decency.
33:17 They weren't decent with their names.
33:19 But we look decent.
33:23 Mr. Haroon, everyone looks decent.
33:25 The truth comes out later.
33:27 What did Mr. Danish say?
33:28 Should I tell you, Mr. Danish?
33:30 Really?
33:31 How long will you hide it?
33:33 Until the table is in front of you.
33:36 Mr. Danish, there are voting lines.
33:42 When the people come out with their abasis,
33:44 they're tired and they start voting in the morning.
33:47 Then they start the lunch.
33:48 They say, "No, voting is a national right."
33:50 When it's time to vote, they say, "It's 5 o'clock."
33:55 It's not wrong. It's a bad omen.
33:58 What are you saying?
34:00 When they say, "It's 5 o'clock."
34:02 They say, "It's 5 minutes. I have work. Let me go."
34:04 A lot of voters are very angry.
34:07 They say, "Fourth pole, where will I get votes?"
34:10 When people come out,
34:12 they say, "What do you think? Will you get a lakh or not?"
34:16 "I'll get a hundred. I'll get the fourth pole."
34:18 What was the most difficult thing after joining politics?
34:22 You have to go out in the sun.
34:24 I see. Wow.
34:25 The sunblock isn't good.
34:27 I see.
34:29 You think the sun is for the public.
34:32 One second. Please switch off the camera.
34:35 I want to talk to you.
34:36 No, we can't switch off the cameras.
34:39 You can talk to me through gestures.
34:42 Please cut the part where I talk about sunblock.
34:46 Okay. Cut the part where I talk about sunblock
34:49 at 60 SPF.
34:51 He is right about the sunblock.
34:56 Whenever you go to vote, wear a sunblock.
34:59 Otherwise, you won't take long to become a Goga.
35:01 You can wear a sunblock and go to vote.
35:03 I'll get five votes.
35:06 They know that cricketers wear sunblocks.
35:10 Is any of you a cricketer?
35:13 - Why? - Because I wanted to ask about sunblock.
35:16 It must be with Murli Dharam.
35:17 You brought sunblock.
35:20 The sunblock caught fire.
35:22 Ma'am, I don't believe in sunblock or cream.
35:27 He believes in diesel.
35:29 Diesel is expensive. They keep bringing grease.
35:32 I spoke to Kareema.
35:34 She said, "We'll spit on Goga."
35:36 Believe me, there was cream in the store.
35:43 The girl's photo was printed on it.
35:44 - Okay. - She said, "This cream has blinded me."
35:47 Ma'am, what do you expect from the public in the elections?
35:51 I want the public to come out.
35:53 - Come out. - Come out and vote.
35:56 Is that what you mean?
35:57 Until the public comes out, their fate won't change.
36:00 That's right.
36:01 Ma'am, I've been out for a year. I don't have a change of fate.
36:04 But the children have changed.
36:06 - Their fate... - Not just the children,
36:11 their upbringing has changed.
36:13 Ma'am, why should the public come out?
36:16 If the public comes out, their fate will change.
36:19 - How? - How?
36:20 - My father came out. - Yes.
36:22 - Both my brothers came out. - Of course.
36:24 - My younger husband came out. - Of course.
36:25 Our entire family is settled in London.
36:27 - So, they came out. - Of course.
36:31 Ma'am, you have money.
36:32 We come out and sell sweets.
36:35 The thing is, we can't afford to shop in Harrods like you.
36:39 A person should look good.
36:40 We should wear big brands.
36:42 Is that why you wear big brands?
36:44 No, I wear big brands because the other brands aren't big.
36:48 - Yes. - That's right.
36:49 - That's right. - That's understandable.
36:51 - Okay, ma'am. - It's a deep thing.
36:53 I've been noticing that Goga wears big brands these days.
36:56 Because that's not a big brand.
36:59 He has four jackets in total.
37:01 I don't buy new jackets.
37:03 But you'll get 18 jackets like these.
37:06 Goga, if you buy 18 jackets like her, I'll say it's better.
37:11 Do you know, your background is hidden behind these four jackets?
37:18 Mr. Agha, you should keep a bucket with you.
37:21 Your pot is getting stolen.
37:23 You don't know this.
37:26 The other side of this jacket is coming out.
37:30 Ma'am, this time, the fate of the poor should change.
37:33 He's calling you ma'am. Look at him.
37:35 You're all my brothers.
37:37 I love you from the side of Mr. Mian.
37:39 - Wow. - And from our side, I love you 100.
37:43 When Mr. Mian came to Manar-e-Pakistan straight from London
37:48 and the pigeon sitting next to him..
37:50 Wow, he told me that he wanted to sit next to me.
37:53 - Why did he say that? - Why?
37:56 He's the son of that same pigeon.
37:58 Look, ma'am, if God wills, you'll come to Madan.
38:02 - You'll win. - He's already in Madan.
38:05 If he wins, then everyone has come to Madan.
38:07 - Okay. - But you didn't call your husband today.
38:11 My mobile is with my secretary, so I didn't feel like calling.
38:14 - I remembered from the secretary. - Yes.
38:16 The team around you,
38:18 which includes Maria Maurangzeb and other participants,
38:22 that team is fighting for the provincial assembly ticket.
38:27 And it's said that they're fighting because they're your team.
38:31 They want to support you and you want to be the CM.
38:33 Okay.
38:37 And the pigeon sitting next to Mr. Mian, do you know how much it cost?
38:42 - How much? - Rs. 40 lakhs.
38:44 It's a lie. It's not possible.
38:45 Yes, they bought it and made a helicopter out of it.
38:48 The pigeon that was sitting next to him..
38:52 - Shirt? - A player can sell such an expensive shirt.
38:57 - Can't Mr. Mian's pigeon sell it? - It can.
38:59 Mr. Mian's pigeon is saying it himself. It can sell it.
39:02 - Brother, a lion. Once again. - Lion.
39:05 - Oh. - Lion.
39:06 He's a lion, but he rides a bicycle.
39:13 Now that he's riding it, you should buy a car.
39:15 It's a big deal. You should buy a car.
39:18 When you bought a car, you were a coward.
39:21 And when a lion does this, how long does it have to change the rear?
39:26 (LAUGHTER)
39:28 Okay, it's time for music.
39:32 Today, we have a request regarding the election, Mr. Amanat.
39:37 He has done four good things. He has earned a lot of respect.
39:39 (LAUGHTER)
39:40 - Thank you. - Okay, Mr. Amanat, please give us the music.
39:43 - What have you brought regarding the election? - A parody song.
39:46 Please play it, sir.
39:47 (APPLAUSE)
39:49 Very good, Mr. Amanat. You sang it very well.
39:55 Viewers, this was today's show.
39:56 We'll meet you in the next show.
39:58 Take care.
40:00 Goodbye.
40:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]