Tigger, Private Ear (Winnie the Pooh)
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FunTranscript
00:00 The lightning flashed. The wind roared. It was a dark and blustery night.
00:07 Three worried souls gathered at the stately yet creaky mansion.
00:17 "I suppose you're wondering why I called you all here tonight," said the private eye.
00:24 "It's because I've discovered who stole the glockenspiel diamond.
00:31 There's someone in this very room, and that someone is..."
00:38 "You!"
00:40 "Oh my, it's become quite dark in here."
00:45 "Well, well..."
00:47 "Who swiped the diamond? Was it the butler?"
00:51 "I'm not sure, Boo. I'm afraid I can't see in this light without my reading glasses.
00:58 I lost them two weeks ago."
01:00 "Oh, I don't know where your glasses are, but how about you leave instead?"
01:05 "My glasses! You found them! I... I did?"
01:10 "Wise Tigger, you'd make a much better private eye than the hero of this book!"
01:16 "Oh, shuck! It was... You really think so?"
01:21 "Yes! Not just anyone could have found those glasses on top of his head."
01:27 "Me? A private ear? Yeah!"
01:32 "Tigger, private ear, if you can lose it, we can... we can..."
01:44 "Find it! I'm my first customer! Step right in, buddy bear, and let me solve your baffling mystery for you.
01:53 So, what's the problem?"
01:55 "Actually, I've run out of honey."
01:59 "But that's no crime!"
02:02 "It is for a poo-bear!"
02:05 "How can I be a superior sleuth when I've got no mysteries to solve?"
02:11 "Wait a minute! If I was to make a mystery and then solve it, why, I'd be up to my private ears in a week!"
02:39 "Piglet! Piglet, wake up!"
02:43 "Thought I'd drop by and see if you need any mysteries solved. You feeling okay?"
02:54 "I feel fine, Tigger, though my nose is a bit cold. Oh, dear, my nose warmer is gone!"
03:05 "I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here tonight. It's on account of Piglet's missing nose warmer, which I, Tigger, private ear, intend to find."
03:22 "Private ear? Now I've heard everything."
03:26 "Yeah, where was you on the night of the 15th?"
03:30 "The 15th?"
03:33 "And where was you on the night of the 43rd?"
03:36 "Um, asleep."
03:38 "What about you?"
03:41 "I was in that bed, dreaming about picking daffodils and..."
03:45 "Aha! This case is solved!"
03:50 "Piglet was there, dreaming about daffodils, which, as every genius private ear knows, piglets are allergic to."
04:02 "The little guy sneezed in his sleep, blowing his nose warmer off his face and onto the ceiling!"
04:11 "My nose warmer! Amazing!"
04:16 "Oh, nothing to it. New case is too small for Tigger, private ear!"
04:25 "Oh, another day and still no customers. Maybe I need to make one more mystery to convince him of my skills."
04:41 "Ah, the honey he keeps for his midnight snackers!"
04:51 "Oh, that one's in too many pieces. Now who else would have a honeypot?"
05:05 "Last night, the honey was here, but this morning it wasn't, so I can only think... it's gone."
05:14 "If you can lose it, we can find it."
05:17 "My brilliant private ear's nose concludes that poor missing honeypot is... right here!"
05:25 "Oh, it is my honey!"
05:28 "Help! Thief! Rob! I've been robbed! Come quickly!"
05:35 "Last night I had seven honeypots, and now there are only six. Someone stole one of my honeypots."
05:45 "Perhaps Tigger could find your honey, Pooh?"
05:50 "Oh, will you, Tigger? Please, you have to help me!"
05:55 "I do? I mean, I do! Well, I suppose I could squeeze you in?"
06:03 "Oh, thank you, Tigger, thank you!"
06:07 "Well, let's see, first I gotta do something. Oh, gotta gather some clues! A honeybee! I bet he stole it! Follow that clue!"
06:20 "The evidence is ducking into Piglet's house! Come on! There he is!"
06:30 "Piglet, what's this doing here?"
06:34 "It's Pooh's birthday gift."
06:36 "Piglet! You shouldn't have!"
06:39 "No, indeed! You should have asked me first! You shouldn't just have taken it!"
06:46 "Oh, but I didn't!"
06:48 "And what seems to be the commotion? Some honey seems to have been... misplaced!"
06:55 "Oh, but I didn't! But there it is!"
06:59 "Only one thing to do! We must find out the truth!"
07:05 "Now, I know that Piglet didn't do it, and you know that Piglet didn't do it. All I gotta do is convince the others that he didn't do it, without letting them know that I did it!"
07:17 "My first question is, why did you take my honeypot?"
07:22 "Don't worry, Piglet, I'll get you off with eight to twenty, or nine to five, whichever comes first!"
07:28 "By the way, why did you take Rabbit's honey?"
07:32 "I didn't!"
07:33 "Ah, your Honorable Mentor! I risked the risk of my case!"
07:37 "Gentle people of the jury..."
07:43 "...and donkeys..."
07:45 "...and donkeys, I just want to say, he took my honeypot!"
07:52 "He didn't!"
07:53 "Didn't!"
07:54 "Didn't!"
07:55 "Didn't!"
07:56 "Quiet! Get a body, get some sleep around here!"
07:59 "Your Honor, the verdict..."
08:02 "Ah, razz me, honey! Okay, jury, what you got to say?"
08:08 "I should like to recite my favorite poem. It's called 'Ode to an Owl'."
08:15 "Get to the point!"
08:17 "Not really sure, but I suppose since he's a little Piglet, maybe he's a little guilty."
08:24 "It can't be! I thought I didn't!"
08:27 "I reject! I reject! I'd like to call a surprise witness!"
08:32 "Oh, I can't tell you, it'd spoil the surprise."
08:36 "I call as my next witness..."
08:39 "...me!"
08:40 "Do I swear to tell the truth, to hold the truth, not to put the truth?"
08:44 "You betcha!"
08:45 "Okay, you! Did Piglet take Rabbit's honey?"
08:49 "No, no, he was framed, I tell you! He's innocent! I tell you, he's innocent!"
08:54 "Framed?"
08:56 "Framed by who? Not the butler, was it?"
08:59 "The butler? Well, no, you see..."
09:03 "...the wishiness will please answer the question, unless you got something to hide."
09:09 "Me? What do I have to hide? I didn't take any honey pots!"
09:16 "Tickers don't even like honey, so I wouldn't... I mean, I couldn't have been... it couldn't have been..."
09:24 "You're sure you didn't take it?"
09:37 "The honey pots! They're coming to get me! I confess, I confess, it was me! I did it, I did it!"
09:45 "I took Rabbit's honey pot and put it at Pooh's house to find, so everybody would think I was a great privateer."
09:51 "I trosed myself at the mercy of the court!"
09:56 "Piglet, the court finds you not guilty!"
10:03 "Oh, thank you, Tigger."
10:07 "After all the trouble you caused, I hope you won't ever try this privateer nonsense again."
10:14 "Ah, buddy boy, I figure I've cleared up enough mysteries for a while."
10:21 "Besides, I did so well with Piglet, I've decided to become... a lawyer!"
10:25 "Tigger, a Tigger at law! If you can find it, we can lose it for you!"
10:31 (upbeat music)