Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Bugs Bunny, I have an appointment with Dr. Weisberg.
00:05Go ahead and take a seat.
00:10Daffy?
00:11Oh, hey, Bugs.
00:13What are you doing here?
00:15Reading.
00:16My subscription ran out.
00:18So you come to a doctor's office?
00:20No, I come to a doctor's office waiting room.
00:23It's very pleasant.
00:24Fish tank, classical music.
00:26Very nice.
00:28Someone order Chinese food?
00:30Right here.
00:53You got any sodas in here?
00:55Shh.
00:58Wow, this thing's like a runaway freight train.
01:02What are you so hopped up for?
01:04I'm always telling him he's too stressed.
01:07I'm not stressed.
01:09Here's what we're gonna do.
01:10I want you to spend the weekend relaxing.
01:13Lots of deep breathing.
01:14No excitement.
01:15No stress.
01:16We'll check your heart again on Monday.
01:19It's weird.
01:21I feel fine.
01:22Oh, hey, Doc.
01:23I have a quick question for you.
01:24Is there anything you can do to stretch my stomach ten times its size?
01:28What are you, crazy?
01:30Just temporarily.
01:31I'm gonna be in a hot dog eating contest at the fair this weekend.
01:34Oh, I forgot the fair was this weekend.
01:36But, but, but, no fair for you.
01:38That's too much excitement.
01:41But for me, I can't wait.
01:43I go every year.
01:44I like to win all that stuff nobody needs.
01:47A kazoo.
01:49Novelty glasses.
01:50Silly straw.
01:55Snap pops.
01:58Oh, sorry.
02:01So, what about my stomach?
02:05You shouldn't enter that contest.
02:08Binge eating is extremely unhealthy.
02:16Well, if I can't stretch my stomach with surgery, I'm gonna have to do it the old fashioned way.
02:21By gorging myself.
02:23You're not gonna listen to your doctor?
02:25He's not my doctor, he's yours.
02:26Sure, I've gone to him for the occasional cosmetic procedure,
02:29but even then I had him send you the bill.
02:31Why do you want to win a hot dog eating contest?
02:34That is the dumbest question I have ever heard in my life.
02:37How about a lifetime supply of hot dogs,
02:40a custom-made satin jacket,
02:42and for one year the great honor of being called Mr. Wiener.
02:46Does that answer your question?
02:48No.
02:52Here, let me drive you home.
02:54That way you can relax.
02:55What about your car?
02:56Oh, it got towed.
02:57I parked in Dr. Weisberg's spot.
03:04The funny thing is, I really don't feel stressed at all.
03:10What is the matter with you?
03:12That light was yellow!
03:14You go on yellow!
03:16Daffy.
03:17My friend could have a heart attack at any second!
03:21I'm trying to keep things calm for him!
03:24Back off!
03:25Oh, boy.
03:26You wanna fight?
03:27Uh-oh. He wants to fight.
03:30Stay calm, Bugs.
03:31I got this.
03:32Just do some of that deep breathing.
03:33Where's he, Bugs?
03:34He said he needed to lie down.
03:35He's such a frail reed, that guy.
03:36Hello, what can I get you?
03:37I'll have 62 hot dogs.
03:38Say what?
03:39That's one more than last year's winner ate.
03:40Well, not this year. Soon you'll be calling me Mr. Wiener.
03:46I already called you that. And a lot worse. How about you, Perky?
03:49Uh-oh, I'm not eating.
03:50Wow! That's one thing I thought I'd never hear you say.
03:52I mean, you're too nervous! My girlfriend's coming to town.
03:54Okay, now that's two things I thought I'd never hear you say.
03:57E-boy, well she's sort of my girlfriend. E-boy, we've only met once. E-boy, but we talk
04:02on the phone every day.
04:03How can I get you?
04:04How can I get you?
04:05I'm not eating.
04:06I'm not eating.
04:07I know.
04:08I'm not eating.
04:09No, I'm not eating.
04:10I'm eating.
04:11I'm eating.
04:12I'm eating.
04:13I'm eating.
04:14I'm eating.
04:15We've only met once, but we talk on the phone every day.
04:19And tomorrow she's coming into town to go to the fair with me.
04:23She's wonderful.
04:25I get butterflies in my stomach, just thinking about her.
04:29I know what I'd like in my stomach.
04:31Sixty-two hot dogs, so Arriba, Arriba.
04:34That's too much food, man.
04:36I gotta stretch my stomach.
04:37Do you know how bad that is for you?
04:39Sixty-two hot dogs?
04:40Eating that much in one sitting could kill you.
04:43Coming right up.
04:46Oh, Petunia will be here in 22 hours, 38 minutes and 14 seconds.
04:51You're gonna blow it.
04:52What do you mean?
04:54You're too eager.
04:55You're gonna scare her off.
04:56You gotta relax, chill.
04:58Otherwise, she's gonna think you're desperate.
05:00Girls like a guy who plays it cool.
05:06Watch this.
05:07Hey, Tina, you're gonna have to call me back.
05:09I'm in the middle of something, okay?
05:11So, maybe I'll see you later, maybe I won't.
05:13So, whatevs.
05:14Doesn't matter either way.
05:15You better see me later.
05:16We have a date tonight, and you're picking me up at 8.30.
05:18Got it?
05:21Well, whatever you say, my angel, I'll be counting the seconds.
05:25I'm telling you, Porky.
05:27Play it cool.
05:30Whoa.
05:31That's a lot of hot dogs.
05:32How can someone eat that many?
05:34What's the most you've ever eaten?
05:35I don't know.
05:36Four, four and a half.
05:37Any more than that, they start coming back up.
05:39If you know what I mean.
05:40Unfortunately, we always know what you mean.
05:42Well, here goes nothing.
06:00How many was that?
06:02Four.
06:03Well, maybe I could do another half.
06:14It's coming back up!
06:15It's coming back up!
06:17It's still beating like crazy.
06:30What is the matter with me?
06:37What on earth are you doing?
06:40I'm building a ramp.
06:41For what?
06:42I'm performing a death-defying stunt at this weekend's fair.
06:46Are you, uh, qualified for that sort of thing?
06:50Nope.
06:51But it don't matter.
06:52It's my legacy.
06:55It all started with my great granddaddy, Rocky Mountain Sam.
06:59He once jumped a horse-drawn carriage over 15 cows.
07:04Then there was old granddad, Death Valley Sam.
07:07He jumped a Model T over 15 Model Ls.
07:11Okay.
07:13Then there was my daddy, Grand Canyon Sam.
07:17Some say he was the greatest daredevil of them all.
07:21He jumped a motorcycle over 15 school buses.
07:24So now it's my turn.
07:26You're gonna jump a motorcycle over a bunch of school buses?
07:30No.
07:31I'm gonna jump a school bus over a bunch of motorcycles.
07:37Uh, good luck with that.
07:39Will you help me, please?
07:42I don't know how to build a ramp.
07:44I ain't ever done a stunt.
07:46I'm not a daredevil.
07:47Then don't do it.
07:48I gots to.
07:49Because I can't go down in history as the only Sam who never jumped one thing over a bunch of other things.
07:57I'd love to help you.
07:59But I'm under doctor's orders to take it easy this weekend.
08:02I'm not asking you to do the stunt.
08:04I'm just asking you to figure out how to do the stunt.
08:07So you wanna jump a school bus over how many motorcycles?
08:12Fifteen.
08:14Right.
08:15I think we're gonna need a calculator.
08:18A calculator?
08:19I said a school bus!
08:21Whoa!
08:36Yes!
08:37Five hot dogs!
08:40And they're staying down.
08:42They better.
08:43Well, all I have to do now is figure out how I'm gonna cram fifty-seven more down my gullet.
08:48I gotta stretch this dude out.
08:50I can't believe you're doing all this for a stupid satin jacket and so people can call you Mr. Wiener.
08:55Well, truth be told, there's another reason.
08:58It's my legacy.
09:01It all started with my great-grandfather, Dipsy Duck.
09:05He ate fifty-four huckleberry pies in a pie-eating contest and won a horse-drawn carriage.
09:13Then there was my grandfather, Doofus Duck.
09:16He ate a hundred and twelve corn cobs in a corn cob-eating contest and won a Model T.
09:22And then there was my father, Dummy Duck.
09:27He ate fourteen buckets of fried chicken in a fried chicken-eating contest and won a school bus.
09:34He still drives it to this day.
09:36Now do you understand why I have to win?
09:38Do any of the guys in your family have normal names?
09:42Like David or Doug?
09:44I have a cousin named Dimwit Duck.
09:47Look, Tina, the point is, I have to win so I don't go down in history as the only duck who didn't win a contest by gorging himself on carnival food.
09:57And also, I really want that satin jacket.
10:00Oh.
10:01Oh.
10:07It's coming back up!
10:15What are we doing playing with models? We ought to be building the real thing.
10:19I told you, I don't want anything to do with the real thing. My heart is racing just thinking about it.
10:25I need to relax.
10:27Why do you need to relax?
10:28Your life ain't stressful.
10:30Near as I can tell you sit around in a big house all day doing nothing.
10:41Okay.
10:42Your school bus weighs approximately 14,000 pounds.
10:46And this ramp is at an angle of 22 degrees.
10:49So, you need to be going no less than 89 miles per hour, but no more than 91 miles per hour when you hit the ramp so that you can travel the 72 feet over the 15 motorcycles.
11:01Now, you have to land exactly on the front edge of the landing ramp. Otherwise, you lose control and crash.
11:08So, 89 miles per hour, 22 degree take-off, 72 feet, land on the front edge of the ramp. Got it?
11:20Yosemite!
11:21Huh?
11:22Huh?
11:23Uh, sorry.
11:24That classical music's just so dang relaxing.
11:32Hey, I just wanted to remind you to play it cool with Petunia.
11:36Uh-oh.
11:37You're right.
11:38Porky, I am serious. Serious like a heart attack. Sorry, Bugs. You cannot blow this. Remember, you come from a long line of pigs who have blown it. Need I remind you of your great-grandfather, Pudgy Pig.
11:53Your grandfather, Plumpy Pig. Your grandfather, Plumpy Pig. And your father, Plus-Size Pig.
12:10Amy, my dad's name is Alan.
12:12The point is, they all blew it. You gotta break the chain, Porky. Play it cool. Unless you want to lose Petunia forever.
12:20Huh? She's here.
12:23Good. I gotta go anyway. That's Tina on the other line.
12:27Oh, darling. I hope I didn't keep you waiting.
12:32You're gonna blow it. Play it cool.
12:36Porky, it's so good to see you. I'm so excited for our weekend.
12:43Okay, cool.
12:50Oh, this is so much fun. I haven't been to the fair since I was a little girl. Oh, look, cotton candy. Do you like cotton candy?
13:08Are you kidding? I could eat cotton candy all the... I mean... I can take it or leave it.
13:19Hey! They have a roller coaster!
13:24Should we go on it?
13:26Are you crazy? I mean, I don't know. Whatever.
13:29Is everything all right? You seem strange.
13:34I'm cool.
13:40Hey, uh, Speedy. Give me all your churros.
13:43Are you crazy?
13:44I gotta stretch my stomach. But the idea of eating another hot dog makes me sick. And in two hours, I gotta eat 62 of them.
13:50There's no way you're gonna win, man. Have you seen last year's winner?
13:58Oof. He looks like he could eat 62 of you.
14:01Mother.
14:02Hey, look! There's a fortune teller!
14:05Continue to breathe deep, relaxing breaths.
14:14What angle's the ramp supposed to be at?
14:15What?
14:16What angle should the ramp be at? And how fast am I supposed to go? And what part of the ramp am I supposed to land on?
14:23Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Sam. Slow down. What's wrong?
14:27I'm panicking. I'm spiraling. I got so used to that teeny model. Now it all looks so big and scary. You gotta come help me. I need you here. My heart's a racing.
14:38That's exactly why I can't come. You shouldn't be there either.
14:41Bugs, please. I'm begging you. I need the emotional support. You're my best friend.
14:47What?
14:48Nothing. I didn't say nothing. Just come down here.
14:52Fine.
14:54Dr. Weisberg's gonna kill me. If my heart doesn't first.
15:00Hi, please leave a message.
15:02Bugs, it's Dr. Weisberg.
15:05Look, look, look. I'm on the internet and I think I might have misdiagnosed your condition.
15:10Turns out your heart is beating fast because you're a rabbit.
15:16That's where they get the expression, my heart's beating like a rabbit, huh?
15:20Anyway, there's nothing wrong with your heart. You're fine. You're in perfect health.
15:25So go have some fun. Enjoy your life. Live a little.
15:29Okay, enough work for a Saturday. I'm going to the fair.
15:33In my crystal ball, I can see the past, the present, and the future.
15:43Lola, you're not a fortune teller.
15:46Uh, my name is Madam Zoldor, so...
15:49What do you see, Madam Zoldor? Will I win the hot dog eating contest?
15:54Let me see. It's... it's murky.
15:57Aha! I see hot dogs. So many hot dogs.
16:04Really? At a hot dog eating contest?
16:07I see you!
16:09You're eating hot dogs. So many hot dogs.
16:13More than five? Do I win?
16:15Yes, you win! You are the winner!
16:18I knew it! Thank you, Madam Zoldor!
16:22Does the lady want her palm red? Or maybe a manicure?
16:27I'm actually a little better at those.
16:31Oh, I think Ferris wheels are kind of romantic. Don't you?
16:36Huh.
16:38They're all right.
16:41Porky, you just seem so different from when we met.
16:46Well, I don't know what to tell you, Petunia.
16:49This is me. This is who I am. I'm relaxed. I'm cool. I'm chill.
16:57What's happening?
17:00We must be stuck.
17:02What? We were hundreds of feet off the ground.
17:06Help! Somebody help us!
17:08I always knew I'd die this way!
17:11I think Madam Zoldor might be crazy. There's no way my stomach's big enough to eat all these.
17:24Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 35th Annual Mr. Wiener Hot Dog Eating Contest!
17:43Uh, that satin jacket is mine.
17:45On your mark, get set, go!
17:54Why isn't it fixed? What's taking so long? What if they never fix it?
18:00Porky, calm down. It's gonna be okay.
18:03Hmm. Petunia, there's something I have to tell you.
18:07Ever since I picked you up at the airport, I've been trying to play it cool.
18:13Why?
18:15Because I was afraid if you saw how excited I was to see you, you'd think I was desperate.
18:20But the truth is, I am excited to see you.
18:23Also, you should know that I love cotton candy, I don't like roller coasters, and I think you're the greatest girl I've ever met.
18:32I guess I blew it, huh?
18:33Good luck. If you need me, I'll be over there, not watching.
18:38Ladies and gentlemen, direct your attention to the infield where local daredevil Yosemite Sam will attempt to jump a school bus over 15 motorcycles.
18:53I can't reach the pedals.
19:03You gotta do the stunt with me. You gotta be my feet.
19:08Are you crazy?
19:11No, I'm a Sam. And if I don't do this, I'll be the first Sam who ain't never accomplished nothing.
19:18Move over.
19:24Oh, thank you. I knew you was my best friend. I mean neighbor.
19:28We have a winner! Daffy Dot!
19:40Yeah!
19:45I told them not to enter that hot dog eating contest. I told them.
20:00Well, this is it.
20:05It'll help me relax. Don't fall asleep at the wheel.
20:08You're listening to Classical 103.1.
20:11a man!
20:12Tell them not to enter the park if we want...
20:14Back to the park.
20:16You have to go...
20:17We have to go.
20:19Come on!
20:21We have to go.
20:23Come on!
20:25We have to go.
20:27Let's go.
20:29I'm here.
20:31We have to go.
20:33Come on!
20:35We have to go!
20:37We have to go!
20:38I'm alive! I can't believe it!
20:56I can't believe they don't have seatbelts on school buses.
21:01They're so romantic up here.
21:05I hope they don't ever fix this ferris wheel.
21:14Daffy?
21:16It's Mr. Wiener!
21:28So go have some fun, enjoy your life, live a little!
21:32I think a death-defying stunt qualifies.
21:37Unbelievable!
21:39They're stripping me of my title because they said I cheated.
21:43I'm not allowed to call myself Mr. Wiener.
21:45I'll call you Mr. Wiener.
21:47Thanks.
21:48That's why you're my best friend.
21:50Don't tell Yosemite that.
21:55I'm not allowed to call myself Mr. Wiener.
22:00Interestingly, you loved him from the ë‚ apopsie.
22:05So tell the bull of them to be hardly ever missed,
22:07and I don't know why.
22:09You're not allowed him to call myself to be a liar,
22:10but this is boring to call myself.
22:12I'll call myself a ghost Ren.
22:13Before you come back.
22:14Even if I said I peep yourself back.
22:15Um, you know, you're not allowed to call me,
22:18even the old world's never hadviiece to be by myself.
22:19Look what I won at the fair!
22:28Now I can drink out of my hat!