Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30What happened to the TV?
01:00Hey, Gossamer, I need your help.
01:22Get that down for me.
01:25Here you go.
01:26Thanks.
01:27There's something wrong with this ball.
01:29You should probably stick around in case that happens again.
01:32Oh, that sounds fun.
01:34But I have to go home and make posters.
01:36That's your homework?
01:38Making posters?
01:39Kids have it too easy these days.
01:42No, it's not homework.
01:47I'm running for class president.
01:50Class president?
01:51You're not popular.
01:52Yeah, I know.
01:53But I have a lot of good ideas.
01:55Everyone has good ideas.
01:56Just this morning I put root beer in my cereal instead of milk.
02:04So what are you saying?
02:05You don't think I can win?
02:07Maybe.
02:08But it won't be easy.
02:09You'll need to run a smart, mistake-free campaign that stays on message and steadily gains momentum
02:16until it peaks the day of the election.
02:18Wow.
02:19How do you know so much about it?
02:21I was elected to the city council.
02:23You're on the city council?
02:25Not anymore.
02:26It was too boring.
02:27So I fake my own death to get off of it.
02:29The point is, I know how to win an election.
02:34Could you help me win an election?
02:37Hmm.
02:38A big, orange, hairy nerd.
02:42Yeah, I can work with that.
02:44Kid, with me as your campaign manager, this election will be a slam dunk!
02:51There's something really wrong with that ball.
03:04What do you think?
03:05What do you think?
03:06Gossamer is awesomer?
03:08That's not a real word.
03:10I know, but it's his name and we can't change it.
03:13Or can we?
03:16I don't know what that kid sees in you.
03:19Porky?
03:20Do you mind if I stay with you guys for a while?
03:25You sold your house?
03:27I had to.
03:29I couldn't afford it.
03:30I haven't had a catering job in almost a year.
03:33Why didn't you tell us?
03:34We would have helped you out.
03:36No, no, no.
03:37I wouldn't have felt right taking money from a friend.
03:40Why?
03:41Who else are you going to take money from?
03:42Strangers?
03:43That's thievery Porky.
03:44For shame.
03:46So you're done with catering?
03:48It just doesn't pay the bills?
03:50It does if you're good at it.
03:52Of course you can stay here.
03:54Thanks.
03:55Just until I figure out a new career.
03:57I really appreciate it.
03:59You won't even know I'm here.
04:01I'll be as quiet as a mouse.
04:07Oh, hey!
04:08Just having a few friends over to watch the fight.
04:10We might be a little louder.
04:11Just FYI.
04:14You mind if I set up on the couch?
04:17Oh, make yourself at home.
04:18There's extra sheets in the linen closet.
04:21Are you out of your mind?
04:23You're just going to let him stay here?
04:25Until when?
04:26He's not going to get a job.
04:27He's just going to be here.
04:29Eating your food.
04:30Taking up space.
04:31Making a mess.
04:32Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?
04:37I have some idea.
04:40Just wondering when you guys usually get up in the morning?
04:43I want to have breakfast waiting.
04:45Pawky, you don't have to make breakfast.
04:47Oh, yes he does.
04:49He has to earn his keep.
04:51We all earn our keep around here.
04:53Oh, hey Bugs.
04:54We're out of toilet paper in all the bathrooms.
04:56Don't ask.
04:58What are you doing up this oily?
05:07I never went to bed.
05:08I was up all night making posters.
05:10What do you think of this one?
05:12Steve is Awesomer?
05:14Who's Steve?
05:17You're the one who said Gossamer isn't a word.
05:19No, I didn't.
05:20You said that.
05:22It is too early in the morning to be dealing with you.
05:25Well, good morning.
05:27How do you like your eggs?
05:29In my hands.
05:30I gotta hit the road.
05:32Come on, man.
05:33What?
05:34You never put eggs in someone's hands before?
05:39Oh!
05:40These are hot!
05:41Hot hands coming through.
05:45I'll take mine over medium.
05:47And on a plate.
05:55All right, let's get cracking on your campaign.
06:02Now?
06:03And I have to go to school.
06:04What?
06:05They expect you to run for class president and go to class?
06:08There's not enough hours in the day for that.
06:10Kids have it too hard these days.
06:12Take a seat.
06:16As your campaign manager, I need you to be completely and totally honest with me.
06:21Now, when you're running for president, everything comes out.
06:25You're about to be opened up to a level of scrutiny that you can't imagine.
06:30So if there's anything in your past, you better tell me right now.
06:34Because the media will find out and they will rake you over the coals.
06:41Do you belong to any unsavory organizations?
06:44No.
06:45No.
06:46Any weird hobbies I should know about?
06:48No.
06:49Ever been found guilty of a crime?
06:50No.
06:51You're telling me your record is clean?
06:53Uh-huh.
06:54You're saying you have no skeletons in your closet?
07:00Those are my mom's.
07:03What the?
07:04What are you doing in here?
07:05Now you know you're not allowed in the house.
07:07Get on out of here.
07:08And what are you doing in here?
07:11You know you're not allowed in the house either.
07:13Mr. Duck is helping me become class president.
07:16Well, you're not gonna become anything if you don't get to school.
07:19You already missed the bus.
07:21I'll take him.
07:22We'll do some campaign strategizing on the way.
07:24Oh, hey!
07:25What would you think of legally changing Gossamer's name to Steve?
07:28Sounds more presidential.
07:32We can talk about it later.
07:35Why doesn't he ever get that rabbit to help him?
07:43I gotta say, Porky, it's a pleasure having you as a roommate.
07:48Can I make you some coffee?
07:50Oh, no.
07:51You're doing too much.
07:55Have you seen the coffee filters?
07:57Oh, I put them in there.
07:58The counter was looking at you, so they're so cluttered.
08:01You put the coffee filters in the silverware drawer?
08:04Oh, no.
08:05I moved the silverware to this drawer, so they'd be closer to the dishes.
08:10But the dishes are over here.
08:12Not anymore.
08:15It didn't make any sense to have them all the way over there,
08:17so far from the napkin drawer.
08:19I don't have a napkin drawer.
08:21You do now.
08:23See?
08:24Now the silverware is next to the dishes, which are next to the napkins.
08:28Now you have a system.
08:30Oh.
08:31I didn't know I needed a system.
08:33Everyone needs a system.
08:35Here.
08:36Look what I did with your pantry.
08:40So.
08:41Just.
08:42Get.
08:43Cooking.
08:44What?
08:45It's an acronym.
08:46Soups.
08:47Jars.
08:48Grains.
08:49Cereals.
08:50I didn't know I had so much soup.
08:53Well, of course you didn't, silly.
08:55It was all just so we disorganized you didn't know what you had.
08:59Okay.
09:21It's nice of you to walk me to class.
09:23I'm not walking you to class.
09:25I'm looking for the best place to put up your campaign poster.
09:28Figure out which part of the school gets the most foot traffic.
09:35Winnie Yang is running for president?
09:38Do you know her?
09:39Oh.
09:40We had the same piano teacher.
09:41She's an evil, conniving, manipulative, hateful little weasel.
09:45Hi, Gossamer.
09:48Oh, hi, Winnie.
09:49You know, if you'd rather put your poster here, I'm happy to move mine.
09:53Oh, hi, Mr. Duck.
09:54Nice to see you again.
09:57She's even worse than I remember.
09:59Who's Steve?
10:00Ugh.
10:01You and Bugs.
10:02I'm telling you, you're making a mistake.
10:04Steve's the way to go.
10:06Who's Steve?
10:09Oh.
10:10You and Bugs.
10:12I'm telling you, you're making a mistake.
10:15Steve's the way to go.
10:16I'm telling you, you're making a mistake.
10:19Steve's the way to go.
10:32Do you mind?
10:34Oh, not at all.
10:35Your desk was in desperate need of a system.
10:38I meant the humming.
10:39Was I humming?
10:41I hadn't noticed.
10:42Come see what I've done.
10:46But before, your writing implements were just scattered all about.
10:50Gee, that sounds dangerous.
10:53Well, not dangerous, but certainly inefficient.
10:56So, now, I've put your blue ink pens here next to the phone for jotting down messages.
11:03Your black ink pens here next to your checkbook.
11:06Your pencils here next to the sharpener.
11:09And this is for miscellaneous writing instruments, such as red ink pens and highlighters.
11:14Oh, gee, thanks, Porky.
11:16I can't tell you how many times I accidentally jotted down a message with the wrong colored pen.
11:21Hmm, poor thing.
11:24Well, my next project is your hatch.
11:29I'm going to put on some music.
11:34Some actual music.
11:38Porky, did you alphabetize my albums?
11:41You know, not just alphabetized, but they're also grouped by genre.
11:45I've got your jazz hair, your classical hair, and I'm not sure why you have so much reggae,
11:50but that's all here.
11:52You really have a system for everything, don't you?
11:56Wait until you see your linen closet.
11:58Uh, Porky, uh, have you given any more thought as to what kind of career you might want to pursue?
12:07You know, so you can...
12:09Oh, I either don't know.
12:11I mean, I'm not really sure what I'd be good at.
12:14Well, you went to college.
12:15What's your degree in?
12:16Um, medieval poetry.
12:19Of course it is.
12:20What about your minor?
12:22Architecture.
12:23Well, there you go.
12:24That's something.
12:25Um, medieval architecture.
12:26So, like castles and moats?
12:30That sort of thing?
12:31Uh-huh.
12:32So, not really much demand for that these days?
12:35Uh-huh.
12:42What's that?
12:43It's a papier-mâché statue of Gossamer.
12:46Make the kids think of him as presidential material.
12:49So, is this why we're out of toilet paper?
12:51No.
12:52That was a separate incident, and I said I didn't want to talk about it.
12:55There.
12:56I gotta paint this sucker orange.
12:58Do we have any paintbrushes?
13:00Have you checked the paintbrush drawer?
13:02We have a drawer just for paintbrushes?
13:04Not that.
13:05That's our tape drawer.
13:08Uh-uh.
13:08No, no.
13:09That's our permanent marker drawer.
13:11Not to be confused with the non-permanent marker drawer,
13:14which is just below that.
13:16I hate it.
13:17I just hate it.
13:18Whoa.
13:19What are you so worked up about?
13:20I don't know.
13:21I just, it's that pig and all his perfect little systems.
13:28Oops.
13:28Can you hand me a paper towel?
13:30Just leave it.
13:31Look, it's better to have a mess than to try to figure out whether to put the wet paper towel
13:35into the paper recycling bin or the wet items recycling bin,
13:39because then it would be both paper and wet.
13:42Piggy doesn't have a system for that.
13:44Man, you gotta relax.
13:46Go listen to some of your reggae.
13:48Oh, dear.
13:49Let me just put this in the wet paper recycling bin.
14:03I guess he does have a system for that.
14:07Uh, Mr. Duck?
14:08Oh, I forgot you were in there.
14:10I need to use the bathroom.
14:12How do I get out of here?
14:13Hmm.
14:15That's a good question.
14:17Let me think about that.
14:19Hello?
14:39Bugs!
14:41Who in the name of Pantovilla has been in my mouse hole?
14:44What are you talking about?
14:46My cheeses.
14:47Someone organized my cheeses.
14:49By color, consistency, and pungency.
14:51And my DVDs.
14:52They've organized them, too.
14:54By genre, release date, and pungency.
14:58You know, pungency, in terms of how intense the storyline is.
15:05How did he even get in there?
15:07Who?
15:08Porky.
15:09Porky did this?
15:10Oh, I'm going to have a word with him.
15:12Oh, I'm going to have a word with him.
15:17It will be a what?
15:22I'll tell you what.
15:24I love what you did with my place.
15:26There's a system for everything.
15:27It's so efficient.
15:29Oh, I'm glad you like it.
15:31Wait until you see what I have planned for it.
15:33It will be in the Bugs' garage.
15:34No!
15:35I mean, uh, you've already done so much around here.
15:39Isn't there more you could do for Speedy?
15:41What more could he do for me?
15:42My place is perfect.
15:44Uh, well, what about Pizzariba?
15:48Huh.
15:49Well, I'd be happy to take a look around and see if there's anything I can do.
15:52Here, let me just put these groceries away, and we can go away to check it out.
15:58Gracias, Bugs.
15:59No.
16:03Oh, man.
16:05I never knew you had so much reggae.
16:08What happened to the pantry?
16:10Daffy did it.
16:11If Winnie Yang is elected president,
16:15school will begin at 4.30 in the morning
16:18and go to 9.30 at night.
16:22Winnie Yang promises to do away with recess,
16:26weekends and summer vacations.
16:31But none of that is true.
16:33Trust me, this is how you win elections.
16:35Winnie Yang wants to only serve broccoli
16:39and Brussels sprouts in the school cafeteria.
16:54Winnie Yang did that!
16:56Okay, the way you had things organized before,
17:03you had to run all over the kitchen just to make a pizza.
17:06But now, with the ingredient dispensing system I've installed,
17:10the process is not only fast,
17:12it's fully automated.
17:14Remember how you used to have to get the dough from the refrigerator
17:17and then hand roll it?
17:18Well, not anymore.
17:22And no more waste of time opening cans of tomato sauce.
17:25Have you ever seen such evenly distributed cheese?
17:33How about all of your toppings at the press of a button?
17:39And off it goes, into the oven,
17:41leaving you more time to spend out front with your customers.
17:44You're a genius.
17:45But I don't understand why you would even need a system like this.
17:48You're so fast,
17:49it doesn't even matter how disorganized things are.
17:52That's true for this restaurant,
17:53but I want to expand.
17:55I may be fast,
17:56but I can't be in 15 different cities all at once.
17:58Porky, what do you think of helping me set up pizza ribas like this
18:01all across the country?
18:02Oh, I don't know.
18:04I should really be figuring out what I'm going to do for a career.
18:09What did you think?
18:10I wasn't going to pay you?
18:11We'll call you pizza ribas vice president of a kitchen organizing or something.
18:15I don't know.
18:16We'll think of a good title for you.
18:17I was also thinking of having these new pizza ribas look a little different.
18:22You know, maybe like we come up with a theme,
18:24like they all look like little castles or something.
18:26Did you know anything about medieval architecture?
18:31Well, today's the day, election day.
18:34We've run a great campaign.
18:35We've avoided the issues,
18:37made baseless attacks against your opponent,
18:40and plagiarized this speech from the great communicator,
18:43Ronald Reagan.
18:44We've run a great campaign.
18:46We've avoided the issues,
18:47made baseless attacks against your opponent,
18:49and plagiarized this speech from the great communicator,
18:52Ronald Reagan.
18:53I know it seems heavy on Russia,
18:57but when you say,
18:59Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall,
19:02there won't be a dry eye in the house.
19:05Now go in there and get elected president.
19:12He's going to do great.
19:14He liked it?
19:16He loved it.
19:18Speedy's going to expand all across the country,
19:20and he wants me to help.
19:22I can't thank you enough, Bucks.
19:24None of this would have happened if it weren't for you.
19:27Huh.
19:28What's with the suitcases?
19:30I bought my old house back.
19:32What can I say?
19:33Being Pizzeriba's vice president of organizational systems
19:36and medieval design pays pretty well.
19:39We're still figuring out my title.
19:41We're still figuring out my title.
19:42Toe and donors.
19:43Mr. Duck.
19:44Mr. Duck.
19:45Mr. Duck.
19:46You won?
19:48Mr. Duck! Mr. Duck!
20:03You won?
20:05No. I didn't even come close.
20:08Then why on earth are you happy?
20:10Because I had fun. I always have fun hanging out with you.
20:14Me too, kid.
20:16And I learned a valuable lesson.
20:18What's that?
20:19It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. It's having the courage to try.
20:23Huh. I thought you were going to say, never try for anything ever unless you're guaranteed success.
20:28But whatever. As long as you learned a lesson.
20:31Ugh.
20:32What is it?
20:33I can't believe Winnie Yang is president.
20:36Winnie's not president.
20:37What?
20:38There's a third candidate. That's him right there.
20:44Congratulations again, Steve.
20:46Steve?
20:48Steve? I told you we should have changed your name.
20:51No one ever listens to me. Not your mom. Not Bugs. Not you. Well, you listen to me sometimes.
20:57Probably not enough, though. You should take notes when I talk. You never know when I'm going to say something brilliant.
21:02Hello, Cincinnati, Ohio. And bienvenidos a la grand opening of our newest Pizza Riva.
21:12I couldn't have done this without you, Pinky.
21:23Don't worry. Those aren't real crocodiles.
21:29Those aren't real crocodiles, are they?
21:30I don't know.