Daffy is highly insulted when he discovers that ducks are not included in the Chinese zodiac. In an attempt to make ducks more popular, he talks Tina into entering a local beauty pageant.
Show: The Looney Tunes Show
Air date: June 27, 2013
Episode number: 21
Season number: 2
Writers: Rachel Ramras, Hugh Davidson, Larry Dorf
Show: The Looney Tunes Show
Air date: June 27, 2013
Episode number: 21
Season number: 2
Writers: Rachel Ramras, Hugh Davidson, Larry Dorf
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00How about Chinese for lunch?
00:06I had Chinese for breakfast.
00:07Sunset room?
00:08What about the Pizzeriba?
00:10We always go to Pizzeriba.
00:12I like Pizzeriba.
00:13Just tell me where I'm going.
00:15Rock, paper, scissors.
00:18I win.
00:19What are you talking about?
00:21You have a rock.
00:22I have scissors.
00:23Scissors cut rock.
00:25Scissors don't cut rock.
00:26Where do you think pebbles come from?
00:28Hmm?
00:30Fine, let's do it again.
00:34I win.
00:35What?
00:36Scissors cut paper.
00:37This isn't paper.
00:39What is it?
00:40It's a karate chop to your face.
00:42Ha!
00:43Oh!
00:44Ha!
00:45Oh!
00:49You dirt.
00:50Oh, I love Chinese.
00:55I haven't had it since breakfast.
00:57Oh, too much orange chicken.
00:59Have you ever met an orange chicken?
01:01Oh!
01:02Oh!
01:02Too much orange chicken.
01:06Oh!
01:07Oh!
01:07Oh!
01:07Too much orange chicken.
01:09Oh, too much orange chicken.
01:25Have you ever met an orange chicken?
01:29Oh?
01:30What?
01:30It's the year of the pig.
01:32Wow.
01:33This is my year.
01:35What are you talking about?
01:36The Chinese astrological calendar.
01:39Every year is represented by a different animal.
01:42And this year, it's me.
01:43It's the year of the pig.
01:45Oh, Porky.
01:46A year of good fortune.
01:48When's the year of the duck?
01:50I don't see a year of the duck.
01:53Give me that.
01:55There's a year of the pig.
01:56There's a year of the rabbit.
01:58And no year of the duck?
02:00How is this possible?
02:02They've got a year of the monkey, a year of the rooster, a rat?
02:05There's a year of the rat?
02:07Why not ducks?
02:09Does everybody hate ducks?
02:11Nobody hates ducks.
02:13That's easy for you to say.
02:14You're beloved.
02:16I wouldn't say beloved.
02:18Oh, really?
02:19Ever hear of the expression, pigs in a blanket?
02:22It's not an expression.
02:24It's a food.
02:25Yeah, a delicious food that you would pig out on.
02:29Another popular expression, by the way.
02:31Daffy, you're overreacting.
02:33Oh, really, Mr. Lucky Rabbit's Foot?
02:36Star of the popular fable, The Tortoise and the Hare?
02:40Ducks have nothing.
02:42What about Duck, Duck, Goose?
02:44After you play a popular kid's game.
02:46Oh, you mean the one that's super boring until you say the word goose?
02:49Isn't there a children's book about a duck?
02:52Oh, you mean the ugly duckling?
02:54Thanks a lot, Bugs.
02:56Well, there's got to be something.
02:57Yeah, sitting duck, waiting around to get killed so that you can become a dead duck,
03:03which is probably an improvement considering up till now you've spent your entire life as
03:08a lame duck.
03:09Ooh, the fortune cookies.
03:15Happiness and prosperity are just around the corner.
03:19That sounds good.
03:22You are charming and well-liked.
03:25Well, not really a fortune, more like an observation.
03:29Ugh, ugh, ugh.
03:31Did your guys' cookies taste like paper?
03:33This is the reason I've never succeeded in anything, because people don't like ducks.
03:42I think it's because people don't like you.
03:45No way.
03:46If it's between me and the other guy to become partner at the law firm, they're gonna pick
03:50the other guy.
03:51Solely because I'm a duck.
03:53And also, you're not a lawyer.
03:54And why do you think that is?
03:56Because you're lazy?
03:58Because I am a duck, and people don't like ducks.
04:01Hey, guys.
04:02I brought in your mail.
04:03It looks like you opened it, too.
04:05Well, I got bored between the mailbox and the front door.
04:07It's mostly bills, but I think you're gonna like this one.
04:10They want you to host this year's Royal Oaks, Glen Oaks, Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant!
04:16Why me?
04:17Well, it says here because you are charming and well-liked.
04:21That's liked.
04:22Okay, well, you don't have to brag.
04:24I don't want to host a beauty pageant.
04:26Bugs, it's a lot more than just a beauty pageant.
04:28It's a competition that awards scholarships to young women.
04:31Come on, all you have to do is show up and say,
04:33and the winner is, it's the easiest job in the world.
04:36Eh, okay.
04:38How do you know about all this anyway?
04:40I was a contestant two years ago, but then I was disqualified because of my talent.
04:44What was your talent?
04:46Lion taming.
04:47You know how to tame lions?
04:49Not very well.
04:50I'd say I'm probably just below average.
04:54Unbelievable!
04:55I've read the entire internet, and there's not one positive thing about ducks anywhere.
05:00Lola, what do you think about ducks?
05:02I don't know.
05:02Why?
05:03Because I'm a duck.
05:04What?
05:05I always thought you were a crow.
05:07Are you sure?
05:08Aren't ducks the ones with those big beaver teeth and that big beaver tail?
05:12Those are beavers?
05:14So you're a beaver?
05:15Ugh, forget it.
05:22You, that is one touchy beaver.
05:24Why, I remember, I say, I remember when it was the year of the rooster.
05:30Why, that was the year that everything changed for me.
05:34Before that, I was just a cock-a-doodle-do-nothing on a farm.
05:37And look at me now.
05:39Heh, heh, heh, heh.
05:40What does that have to do with ducks?
05:42Oh, right, ducks.
05:43Carol, bring me the latest animal popularity index.
05:47What's the animal popularity index?
05:49It's a list.
05:50I say a list of every animal ranked in order of popularity.
05:55Hmm.
05:56I say, hmm.
06:05Ducks are ranked 64th.
06:07I'm afraid.
06:08I say, I'm afraid ducks have an image problem, son.
06:12What you need is some good PR.
06:14Ooh, that sounds good.
06:15I haven't had a peanut butter and ranch sandwich in forever.
06:18Would you mind, hon?
06:20I don't need a beverage.
06:24No, PR, public relations, influence public opinion.
06:29And based on that, we're gonna have to do a lot of influencing.
06:33What to do.
06:34I say, what to do.
06:38That's it.
06:39We're gonna get you on tit for tat.
06:42Carol, get in here.
06:44What's tit for tat?
06:45It's the most watched news program in the country.
06:48You'll make the case for ducks to all of America.
06:51Hmm.
06:52Daffy Duck.
06:53That's the lead spokesperson for an entire species.
06:58I like it.
06:59Carol, get the producers of tit for tat on the line.
07:02Yes, sir.
07:06Ooh, too much horror.
07:14Hey, Bun-Bun.
07:15How's it coming?
07:16How's what coming?
07:18You're opening monologue for the pageant?
07:20Monologue?
07:21I thought all I had to do was show up and say, and the winner is.
07:23Right, right, after the monologue, and the big musical number, with all that complicated
07:28choreography.
07:29Oh, and then there's the duet with last year's winner, which also has a lot of complicated
07:32choreography.
07:33Oh, you gotta be ready to vamp, in case the wardrobe changes go long, and they always go
07:37long.
07:37Oh, well, then, of course, there's the big finale, which has the most complicated choreography
07:41of all.
07:41And sometimes a stunt.
07:42Last year's host got shot out of a cannon.
07:45He got shot out of a cannon?
07:46Well, not successfully.
07:48That's why they needed a new host.
07:49It's a thankless job, Bugs.
07:51I don't know why he agreed to do it.
07:57Pinky, congratulations!
07:59You are my one millionth customer.
08:01You win a year's supply of free pizza and half of the dessert.
08:05Wow.
08:06I guess it really is the year of the pig.
08:09Porky's a pig?
08:11I always thought he was a seal.
08:18Are you sure, I say, are you sure you're ready?
08:21Well, this old boy ain't afraid to ask the tough questions.
08:25I have all the answers I need right here.
08:31Ask me anything.
08:32Okay.
08:33Uh, exactly.
08:35I say exactly what contribution have ducks made to society?
08:39That's a good question, Elmo.
08:41I believe his name is Elmer.
08:43Elmer?
08:44Hmm.
08:45I better write that down.
08:46Uh, Carol, do you have my pre-show, uh, PR sandwich?
08:52Don't ever let her go.
08:54Hmm.
08:55Now she put too much pee.
08:56You gotta get rid of her.
08:58We're on in five, four...
09:00Good luck.
09:01I don't need luck.
09:02I've got these.
09:04And action.
09:07Huh?
09:08Good evening.
09:38I'm Elmer Fudd.
09:40Welcome to another edition of Tit for Tat.
09:43Tonight's topic, ducks.
09:45Here to tell us why we should care, Daffy Duck.
09:49Daffy, welcome to the program.
09:51Thanks for having me, Elvis.
09:54Let's get started.
09:56Exactly what contribution have ducks made to society?
10:00Uh, um, uh, path.
10:05What?
10:07Give me another question.
10:08Okay, uh...
10:10Bring the car round front, Carol.
10:13You believe that ducks are viewed unfavorably.
10:16Do you have any proof of this?
10:18I'd like to phone a friend.
10:19What?
10:20I'd like to buy a vowel.
10:22What are you talking about?
10:23I'm gonna go ahead and spin again, Pat.
10:25Desperate times call for desperate measures.
10:28Why didn't you open the sunroof, Carol?
10:39You really gotta get rid of her.
10:41Ugh.
10:43Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
10:45And welcome to the Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.
10:50Ahem.
10:51I don't know about our contestants, but I slept like a log last night.
10:55Literally.
10:56I woke up in the fireplace.
10:58Uh, good-looking audience we got here tonight.
11:08I look forward to seeing you all during the swimsuit portion of the competition.
11:16Because there's a swimsuit portion.
11:18The audience doesn't actually put on swimsuits?
11:20Yeah.
11:21No, we get it.
11:22Oh!
11:23What about the joke where-
11:24Corky, please.
11:25I know you think this is your year, but let me-
11:28No!
11:29I wanna hear it!
11:32I flew all the way in from New York to be here.
11:35And, boy, are my arms tired.
11:45Oh my gosh!
11:46Oh my goodness!
11:47I can't breathe!
11:48Oh, his arms are tired!
11:49Like he didn't fly on a plane!
11:50He flew himself with his arms!
11:53Like they're wings!
11:55He doesn't even have wings!
11:56He's not a bird!
11:57He's a seal!
11:58Seals can't fly!
11:59Oh, it's so funny for so many reasons!
12:03Oh, Porky!
12:04Oh, Porky!
12:05Oh, Porky!
12:06Oh!
12:09Yours was funny, too.
12:10Just not as funny as Porky's!
12:12Oh, Porky!
12:16Porky!
12:17Yeah!
12:20This is a PR nightmare.
12:22Tell me about it.
12:24I mean, we're talking about two ingredients here.
12:27Peanut butter and ranch.
12:28How does she keep messing this up?
12:30Enough with the sandwich, boy.
12:32Look at this!
12:33Now ducks are even less popular.
12:35I say less popular than they were before.
12:37We're below great white sharks?
12:39They eat people!
12:40Oh, it's time.
12:42What?
12:43The 63rd annual Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.
12:49There are many beautiful women in the world, but only one can be Miss R-O-G-O-O-O.
12:56That's it.
12:57We need a duck to win that beauty pageant.
13:00I've always dreamed of being Miss R-O-G-O-O-O.
13:04Not you.
13:05We need a female duck.
13:07Oh, right.
13:09No way.
13:10Please?
13:11I'm not the beauty pageant type.
13:14Oh, of course you are.
13:15You're constantly at the salon.
13:17You spend hours in front of the mirror.
13:19And you're always prancing around the house in a tiara.
13:22That's you.
13:23Well, I'd enter it if I could.
13:25But that big fat rooster says I can't.
13:27So you gotta do it.
13:28We're in 73rd place.
13:29Daffy, I don't care what some pole says.
13:32And you shouldn't either.
13:33That's easy for you to say.
13:35People like you.
13:36Then be more likable.
13:38No, that's crazy.
13:41The only thing that makes sense is you winning a prize
13:43which will skyrocket ducks up the animal popularity index,
13:47thus allowing me to enjoy respect and admiration
13:50without having to earn it myself.
13:52It's a slam duck.
13:54You mean a slam dunk.
13:56What?
13:57My whole life, I always thought it was slam duck.
13:59Forget it.
14:00I guess I'll just have to get used to the idea
14:03that every time I walk into a room,
14:05everyone will wish a great white shark had walked in instead.
14:09Well, guess what, people?
14:11Great white sharks can't walk.
14:13So I guess you're stuck with me.
14:18Fine, I'll do it.
14:22I can't tell you how much this means to me.
14:24I just know you're gonna win.
14:25And then we'll both have a tiara.
14:27Just remember when you're inside, you gotta stay curled up tight.
14:38The tighter you are, the further you'll fly.
14:40You wanna take a practice flight?
14:42No, I think I'm good.
14:44Porky, what are you doing here?
14:46I have a big favor to ask you.
14:49What do you think of letting me host the pageant?
14:52What?
14:53Ever since I found out it was the year of the pig,
14:56I've just been feeling so good.
14:58Everything seems to be going my way.
15:00I mean, you get opportunities like this all the time,
15:03but this, this is my year.
15:06This is my one shot.
15:08What do you say?
15:13Thanks for doing my makeup, Lola.
15:14I'm not very good at this stuff.
15:16Are you kidding?
15:17You're gonna look beautiful.
15:18I'm keeping it real fresh and light and natural,
15:20just like you wanted.
15:21You'll barely be able to tell you're wearing anything at all.
15:24There.
15:27Wow.
15:29Yeah, that's, uh,
15:32is there any way you could remove a few layers?
15:35Oh, yeah.
15:36I could do that.
15:37Guess someone doesn't want to win.
15:39When is this show gonna start?
15:41What is that?
15:42It's a constantly updating animal popularity index.
15:46This way we can see those duck rankings rise in real time.
15:50Wow.
15:51Impressive.
15:52Oh, this is taking forever.
15:54I mean, if you say you're gonna start at seven,
15:56you start at seven.
15:57Come on!
15:58Start the show!
16:00I don't think that's helping the cause, boy.
16:04Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
16:11Porky, they're gonna love you.
16:13Ladies and gentlemen,
16:15welcome to the 64th annual Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.
16:21And now, your host, Porky Pig.
16:26You're gonna be great.
16:27It's the year of the pig.
16:29Oh, it's not the year of the pig.
16:31What?
16:32The year of the pig was four years ago.
16:34It's the year of the rabbit.
16:36Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
16:39And welcome to the Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.
16:45Are you sure?
16:46I'm positive.
16:47Ugh.
16:48That nitwip must have read it wrong.
16:50If anyone should be out there hosting, it's you.
16:53They'll be fine.
16:55All that astrology stuff is silly.
16:57You know, I flew all the way in from New York to be here.
17:01And boy, are my arms tired.
17:10Or maybe not so silly.
17:14Good-looking audience we've got here tonight.
17:17I look forward to seeing you all during the swimsuit portion of the competition.
17:23Hmm.
17:24Pigs are falling fast.
17:25They're below...
17:26I say they're below ducks.
17:28Boo!
17:29Get this guy off the stage!
17:32Hm.
17:33Not anymore.
17:34Uh...
17:35Why don't we meet our contestants?
17:42They hate me.
17:43I thought this was the year of the pig.
17:45How is this happening?
17:46I thought it.
17:47Porky, there's something I need to tell you.
17:54You're doing great.
17:55What?
17:56But no one's laughing?
17:58No, no, no, no.
17:59They're laughing.
18:00You just can't hear them from the stage.
18:02It's...
18:03It's the acoustics.
18:05Are you sure?
18:06I feel like they're always scowling at me.
18:08No, that's the stage lights.
18:10The shadows make smiles.
18:12You know, look like frowns.
18:13They're smiling and they're laughing,
18:15because you're doing great.
18:17It's the year of the pig.
18:21That's your cue.
18:22Evil, you're fine, Spugs.
18:24I need to.
18:25– Oh, my god.
18:29Oh, my goodness.
18:30This is absolute Pakuma,
18:32and it's a make-up song.
18:33Turn away with you worseぁ,
18:36get down your head.
18:41You're doing good.
18:42Yeah! Woo!
19:02Ow!
19:12And now, the winner of the Miss Royal Oaks, Glen Oaks, Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant is...
19:33Michelle Chen! Congratulations, Michelle!
19:42Congratulations! You did it!
19:48What are you talking about? I didn't win.
19:50Yeah, but you were so beautiful and poised and charming and elegant, you moved ducks up 33 places!
19:56Well, there you go!
19:58Unfortunately, I brought us down 41 places. So overall, ducks are slightly worse off than they were before we started.
20:04So I guess you're not gonna get that respect and admiration you wanted.
20:07What are you talking about? I'll get it by hanging out with you.
20:11Here.
20:12You're giving me your tiara?
20:14Loaning you my tiara.
20:19Looks better on me.
20:20Uh, thanks for the Chinese food, guys.
20:21How are you feeling?
20:22Pretty good. The doctors are amazed at how fast I'm recovering. But I'm not surprised. After all, it is the year of the pig.
20:33I thought you told me it was the year of the... Ow! Why are you kicking me? Did you by any chance get any duck sauce?
20:50There's a sauce named after us?
20:55Oh, a sweet, delicious sauce! Why didn't anyone tell me?
21:00I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over. How about a little respect and admiration? Ever heard of duck sauce?
21:12I'm sorry, but it's the last one. I'll see you later.
21:29Hey, fellas, get a load of this.
21:49We crack the top ten.