Fame and the Older Woman
D-Mack goes out with his French professor and is stunned when she kisses him; Breanna prepares for the opening night in a Shakespearean play, but is disappointed when Arnaz can't come.
D-Mack goes out with his French professor and is stunned when she kisses him; Breanna prepares for the opening night in a Shakespearean play, but is disappointed when Arnaz can't come.
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh, I love my costume. It's sexy, but it still says Shakespeare.
00:14No, it doesn't. It says smother me, Arnaz.
00:20Oh, somebody's wearing something new.
00:23You got a date, man?
00:24Oh, yeah. I'm going out with my French professor again.
00:27Oh, she's been eyeing my baguette.
00:31She's just tutoring you, D-Mac.
00:33Yeah, when all you do is meet at the blog, eat muffins, and work on your accent, it's so not a date.
00:39Wait, how do you know where we meet and what we do?
00:43Coming!
00:46All right, look, maybe it hasn't reached the physical level yet, but the fact that she's picking me up says date.
00:52I'll bet she brings her French book.
00:53Ho-ho!
00:54Yeah, and I'll bet it's still closed when she drops me off tomorrow morning.
00:59Ho-ho!
01:02Okay.
01:06Hi. I'm here for Daryl.
01:09Hey, Lila. Should we head out?
01:11If you notice, no French book.
01:14And don't forget your French book.
01:17Ho-ho!
01:17Okay, so, do you want to, wait, what you, what you doing?
01:34I've been dying to do that.
01:38I can't feel my feet.
01:39Would you mind doing that again, but in front of my roommates?
01:48I'd rather go home and do it in front of my mirror.
01:52This is already my best day ever!
01:54Sometimes in this life, you can feel all by yourself.
02:01I'll be better thinking then.
02:03What a true love we are from.
02:07Living one-on-one, one-one-one.
02:10Can't nobody break this bond, living one-on-one.
02:14Now we're having fun.
02:17One-on-one.
02:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:20Brianna, bring me a soda.
02:33Doth my appearance bespeak of servant wench?
02:37Has thou fairy no legs to fetch thine own spirit?
02:44Look, I'm sorry, you guys.
02:46I'm just really pumped up about my opening night.
02:48Oh, and it really means a lot to me that you guys are going to be there.
02:52D-Max the man?
02:53Ha-ha!
02:54For shizzle, my nizzle!
02:56Ha-ha-ha!
02:57From old English to no English!
03:00Yeah, that's right, no English.
03:02I didn't need English tonight.
03:03I spoke the international language of boutay.
03:06Ha-ha-ha!
03:08Oh, I see that French still surrendered pretty easily.
03:12Oh, and I see that still suck on necks, too.
03:15Yeah, well, I sure didn't get this hickey from pinching on my own neck, like some people.
03:20I said it was a pimple.
03:23Okay, come on, Lisa.
03:25Let's go pop that thing before it starts talking.
03:30Man, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
03:32So what's it like with an older woman?
03:33She'd throw you down and tie you up?
03:35Oh, she teaches French, not calf roping.
03:39Please, I need the details.
03:41And talk slowly.
03:41Hey, I've been so lonely.
03:45Thou art jackasses one and all.
03:49Guess what, Brianna?
03:51B.B. King is gonna play at our school fundraiser, and I was picked to open for him.
03:55Oh, my gosh, baby, that's great.
03:58Oh, I can't wait.
04:00Uh, that's where we kind of hit a snag.
04:03The only night we can get B.B. is the same night as the opening of your play.
04:07Ernest, no.
04:08I know, it sucks.
04:09Well, you can't miss the chance to open for B.B. King, and I can't miss my opening night.
04:16Plus, I have to bring the cheese wheel for the after party.
04:20Well, at least our roommates would be there to cheer me on.
04:22Wait, I thought they were gonna be there to cheer me on.
04:25Bruh, they can see your play another night.
04:26But it's not the same as opening night.
04:29You know, whatever they want to do, it's okay with me.
04:31Me too. We'll just stay out of it.
04:35And if you come to my play, I'll save you some of the cheese wheel.
04:41If it King's a legend, you know, it doesn't get much bigger than that.
04:45Yeah, but you know, older women love Shakespeare.
04:49Come on, Lila's not an older woman.
04:51She's just...
04:52Less younger.
04:55No offense, Brianna, but Shakespeare,
04:58if I wanted to hear people speak a language I barely understand,
05:01I'd go visit my parents.
05:04And Lila's ancient, DMACC.
05:07Come on, Lisa.
05:09I've been there for you.
05:11Every time your mom calls,
05:13I tell her you're either at the library or on a date.
05:15And by the time she stops laughing,
05:17she forgets why she even called.
05:18You're such a good friend.
05:21I'll be there.
05:22Okay, so what about you, DMACC?
05:25The only old English thugs know
05:27comes in a 40-ounce.
05:31Well, fine.
05:32You know what?
05:32Just go to Arnaz's concert.
05:34But I heard he might sing.
05:37What time DuckDow play began?
05:42It's freaking B.B. King.
05:44Do you know who's starring in Brianna's little play?
05:46Brianna.
05:47And quite frankly,
05:48aren't we all a little tired
05:50of hearing her every single day?
05:52Hey, no one hates Shakespeare more than me,
05:54but Brianna's my friend,
05:56and I don't want to disappoint her.
05:57Oh, well, what am I?
05:58You're just my roommate,
06:00who spends way too much time in the shower.
06:04Hey, I'll leave the conditioner in my hair
06:05for the recommended three minutes.
06:07And what do you do for the other 27 minutes?
06:11So, do you guys want to come to my thing?
06:13Would you rather sit for four hours
06:14waiting for your ass to fall asleep?
06:15All right.
06:17We'll come to your show,
06:18but only under one condition.
06:21You know those snakeskin pants of yours?
06:23Yeah.
06:23You want me to wear those?
06:25No.
06:25Now, go ahead.
06:32Bite it.
06:34Ooh.
06:37Mmm.
06:38That's good.
06:40You know, I was gonna bring a bucket of chicken,
06:41you know.
06:44But this is better.
06:45Uh, uh, uh,
06:46remember where we are.
06:48A little more subtle.
06:49Let's just sit here
06:52and take each other in with our eyes.
06:57Uh, okay.
06:58Okay.
07:12Damn, that was hot.
07:13You know,
07:18I gotta tell you,
07:21out of all the girls I've been with,
07:24it's nice to be with a
07:26woman.
07:30And it's nice for me to be with someone
07:32who's exuberant
07:35and passionate.
07:38Most guys I date
07:39are just boring
07:40and pretty much set in their ways.
07:42Not me.
07:44I like new things.
07:46Now, give me some more
07:47of that cat food on a cracker.
07:48Ooh.
07:51Ooh, yeah.
07:52I love you.
07:53Oh, what's in the gay box?
08:07I'm surprising Lila
08:08with a few of her favorite things.
08:10Foie gras,
08:11French merlot,
08:12and me.
08:13Completely shaven.
08:15Sure going to a lot of trouble
08:17for someone who's just another
08:18notch in your belt.
08:19You know, Lila's not just a notch.
08:21Alright, she's someone special.
08:23She's a real woman.
08:25Alright, she doesn't call me
08:26all the time.
08:27Her milk in her fridge
08:28isn't expired.
08:30She's got pillows on her bed
08:31we don't even use.
08:33At least not to sleep on.
08:36At her age,
08:37she's got pillows
08:38under her eyes, too.
08:39I don't know why
08:43you're going on a picnic.
08:44Hot woman,
08:44sex pillows,
08:45good milk.
08:45I never leave the house.
08:48Wait, you're going on a picnic?
08:49You said you were coming
08:50to my play.
08:50I mean,
08:53that's just what I heard.
08:55You know,
08:56through the grapevine.
08:58Wait a minute.
08:59You went behind my back
09:00and asked our roommates
09:01to go to your play?
09:02I thought we weren't doing that.
09:03Ernest,
09:04you did it, too.
09:05You asked me.
09:07Yeah,
09:07but I didn't get caught.
09:10Until now.
09:12Fine.
09:13You know what?
09:13Let's just let them decide.
09:15No pressure,
09:16no guilt.
09:17Never was,
09:17never will be.
09:18See ya!
09:21So, you guys,
09:23which would you rather see?
09:25The greatest playwright
09:26of all time?
09:27Or the greatest blues man
09:29of all time?
09:30Well,
09:31we'd actually see
09:32B.B. King.
09:32I mean,
09:33he's still alive.
09:35Right?
09:37But we'll come to your play
09:38tomorrow night.
09:39We promise.
09:40You already promised.
09:41My Sherry Amore
09:48Pretty little one
09:50that I adore
09:52You're the only one
09:54my heart beats for
09:56How I wish that you were mine
09:59La, la
10:02La, la, la, la, la
10:04La, la, la
10:07Lila!
10:09Surprise!
10:10Surprise!
10:11Daryl,
10:12what are you doing here?
10:15Oh,
10:15it's a beautiful day
10:16for a picnic.
10:18How sweet.
10:20But I've got other plans.
10:23Other plans?
10:24Great!
10:25What are we gonna do?
10:28I'm sorry, Daryl,
10:29but I'm busy.
10:32Oh.
10:33Well, that's cool.
10:35You know,
10:35as long as you're not
10:36getting busy with another guy.
10:37You're not,
10:41are you?
10:42Yeah.
10:43Baby,
10:43we've been having
10:44a lot of fun.
10:46But I'm doing
10:47something else tonight.
10:49And a word of advice,
10:50never show up
10:51at a woman's house
10:51unannounced.
10:53Why?
10:53Because you look a mess?
10:59Goodbye, Daryl.
10:59La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
11:09La, la, la, la, la.
11:18Okay.
11:20I know you guys
11:21are looking forward
11:21to BB King tonight,
11:22but we're not going.
11:24What?
11:24I did not squeeze
11:25into these jeans
11:26just to stay home.
11:27This time.
11:30We're going to see
11:31Brianna's play.
11:32All right,
11:32she needs our support.
11:33Well, does she really
11:34need all of us?
11:35How about if Lisa just goes?
11:38No, we're all going.
11:40Let's go.
11:40Come on.
11:44Oh, look who's home.
11:46Just in time
11:46to go see Shakespeare.
11:48Run.
11:49Save yourself.
11:51I can't believe you.
11:53Lila sent me away.
11:55She said she had
11:56other plans.
11:57Yes!
11:59How could she do this to me?
12:01We have something special.
12:04Dude, you know,
12:04the only way
12:05to get over a broken heart
12:06is to immediately
12:06start stalking her.
12:07As in right now.
12:11And who better
12:12to help you
12:12than a professional stalker?
12:15Play along.
12:16I hate Shakespeare.
12:17You know what?
12:21I would like to see
12:22who my competition is.
12:25Sorry, Arnaz.
12:26As much as I'd like
12:27to go to Brianna's play,
12:28my boy needs me right now.
12:30I could go alone.
12:31You need me.
12:31Hey, check this guy out.
12:46He's amazing.
12:47Yeah, he's great.
12:49You know,
12:49how does someone
12:50this talented
12:51end up here?
12:52Guessing he crawled out
12:53from his box
12:54over there.
12:55Maybe he's down here
13:00because he passed up
13:01opportunities.
13:03You know that playing
13:04for B.B. King
13:04would be great
13:05for your career.
13:07And what you're doing
13:08tonight is very sweet,
13:09but Brianna knows
13:10that you support her.
13:11And missing her opening night
13:12wouldn't change that.
13:14So you think
13:14I'm making a mistake?
13:16Yeah.
13:16I think if you don't play
13:17at that fundraiser,
13:18you'll only regret it later.
13:19Tell Brianna
13:23that I love her
13:24and I'm sorry.
13:26I will.
13:28Good luck.
13:29What's going on?
13:31Arnaz wants you
13:32to tell Brianna
13:33that he loves her
13:33and that he's sorry.
13:34Good night!
13:36Arnaz, turn up!
13:37Hey!
13:42Hey, Brianna.
13:44Hey!
13:45Just wanted to tell you
13:46to break a leg.
13:47Oh, my gosh, Lisa.
13:48Thank you so much
13:49for coming.
13:50Oh, is everybody
13:51else outside?
13:52Lots of people.
13:53Just knowing you know.
13:57Hey.
13:58Brianna, you don't need us.
13:59We know you're good.
14:01You are here
14:02to show all those people
14:03out there
14:04how good you are.
14:06Huh?
14:07Thanks, Lisa.
14:10So, wait.
14:10How come you're here?
14:12Because I care
14:13about you the most.
14:14They ditched you, huh?
14:16Pretty much.
14:19Yo, Cash, man,
14:20what's taking you so long?
14:21Are we gonna stalk
14:22Lila or what?
14:25Hey, we're stalking her.
14:27Ugh!
14:34Dude, we've been here
14:35all night.
14:36In the business,
14:37we call this an empty house.
14:38But I know there's a guy
14:41in there.
14:43Just haven't seen him yet.
14:45Fine.
14:46We'll stay longer.
14:47Glad I came prepared.
14:50Man's best friend.
14:51The girly magazine.
14:55Well, hello,
14:56Ms. Groundhog's Day.
14:58Even your shadow
14:59looks sexy.
15:00I can't believe
15:03Lila's got some guy
15:04in there.
15:05I mean,
15:05what's he have
15:06I don't have?
15:07I'm young.
15:08I got game.
15:09I mean,
15:09look at me.
15:10I'm sexy, damn it.
15:12Right, Cash?
15:14You're talking
15:14to the wrong kind of bush.
15:18Dude,
15:19I'm serious, man.
15:21I mean,
15:21what's wrong with me?
15:23You know,
15:24it shouldn't be this hard
15:25to find someone special.
15:26Look at Brianna
15:27and Arnaz.
15:28Man,
15:29I think it's kind of cool
15:30how tight they are.
15:32Tight like she's choking
15:32the life out of them?
15:35No,
15:36like a wife
15:36that you can chill with
15:37and share things with.
15:39Wow.
15:40I knew you were sprung.
15:41I didn't know
15:41you changed sexes.
15:44You can't get a kid
15:44all you want,
15:45but they have
15:45something special.
15:47And,
15:48you know,
15:48I didn't realize
15:49how good that felt
15:50until I felt that
15:51with Lila.
15:52I'm gonna have to
15:53go tell her, man.
15:54Right now.
15:57Uh-oh.
15:59What?
16:00Trouble.
16:01Why?
16:02Because you're seeing
16:02the man behind the myth?
16:04No.
16:05Because I'm seeing
16:05the woman behind
16:06the man behind the myth.
16:08Here comes Lila.
16:10Don't worry, man.
16:11I've got your back.
16:19Okay, Lila.
16:20I know you think
16:21I'm crazy,
16:22but there's a reason
16:23why my boy Cash
16:24and I are hanging
16:25outside your window.
16:25Who's Cash?
16:28My man right here.
16:36All right, look,
16:37it doesn't matter.
16:38What does matter
16:39is that I care for you.
16:41And if you cut
16:42that guy in there loose,
16:43I can prove it to you.
16:44Matter of fact,
16:45bring him out here
16:45and I'll get rid of him.
16:48There's no guy in there.
16:50Unless you're worried
16:50about a 50-year-old
16:51bald man named Morty
16:52who's doing my taxes.
16:53Oh, I can help him.
16:56I'm good at math.
16:59Daryl, as cute
17:01and charming as you are,
17:02you're just...
17:03you're just a little too young
17:04to handle a casual relationship.
17:07But I thought
17:08we were more than that.
17:10Clearly.
17:11You can see that now
17:12with the night vision goggles
17:13and the imaginary friend.
17:15I'm sorry.
17:21So this is goodbye?
17:25Au revoir.
17:26Mon ami.
17:31Pepe,
17:32the beauty of you, too.
17:35Hey, man.
17:36I do not treat
17:45your grace
17:45to pardon me.
17:47I know not
17:48by what power
17:48I am at both.
17:58Just wish everyone
17:59could have been there.
18:00Would have been nice
18:00if someone caught me
18:01after my stage dive.
18:02Brianna!
18:08Bravo!
18:10Listen,
18:11I am so sorry
18:12that I couldn't
18:12make it to your play,
18:13but I did get you
18:14a half a pretzel.
18:16Good night.
18:18So,
18:19how'd the opening night go?
18:20Baby,
18:21I had the greatest
18:22time tonight.
18:23I finally feel like
18:24I got to do
18:24what I came out here to do.
18:26Oh, me too.
18:26Dude, I was awesome.
18:28I played the guitar
18:29like I was on stage
18:30at Madison Square Garden.
18:32Wow!
18:32This is the most excited
18:33I've seen you
18:34about anything
18:34since we've been in L.A.
18:36Well,
18:36except for that time
18:37you thought Halle Berry
18:38was flirting with you.
18:40Yes, she was.
18:43I know it was a parade,
18:44but I'm telling you,
18:45I was the one
18:45she was waving at.
18:48Well,
18:49I wish I could have
18:49been there
18:49to see you play.
18:51Yeah,
18:51I wish I could have
18:52seen you, too.
18:53Yeah.
18:55I guess I'm kind of
18:56used to always
18:56seeing you out there
18:57in the audience.
18:58Asleep,
18:59but at least
19:00you're there.
19:02Well,
19:02don't worry.
19:03There'll be plenty
19:03of other times
19:04for me to see you.
19:05I mean,
19:05this is just the beginning
19:06for the both of us.
19:09But, baby,
19:10that's what worries me.
19:12What happens
19:13when we get successful?
19:15How are we gonna
19:15handle it
19:16if I have a play
19:17in New York
19:18and you have a concert
19:19in, I don't know,
19:20Japan?
19:22I mean,
19:22it won't be easy,
19:23but we'll work it out.
19:24That's what couples
19:25in love do.
19:27Right?
19:27Right?
19:49One-on-one,
19:51one-on-one,
19:52one-on-one,
19:52Love you, daddy.
19:58Love you, too, Netta.