Video Nasty S01 E03
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00We're going to England. She has the tape. Nightmare maker.
00:03So, what's the plan?
00:04We meet her in the pub tomorrow at lunchtime.
00:06Long way to walk, though.
00:07Any chance of a lift?
00:08Oi!
00:09Do that again, you'll need a bandage of your own.
00:10You know, if you're gonna be such a stucco bitch, you can get out and walk.
00:14We've had a report about money being stolen from the school's debts fund.
00:21Is that festival thingy on?
00:23That was just locals playing dress-up.
00:30The body of a young woman has been found by a lake in the Derbyshire Dales
00:35between Chesterfield and Ashdale.
00:37Police say the woman may have died under suspicious circumstances
00:41and they're appealing for information from anyone who was in the area.
00:45Yeah, hi, I'm calling about a tip-off.
00:49It's about that body in the woods.
00:51Yeah, I picked up three very unusual teenagers last night.
00:55I had to throw them out my car.
00:58Right by the walking trail.
01:00Uh, yeah, one of them were dark-skinned.
01:03And, uh, each of them had this bandage on their left hand.
01:09Looked like some strange cult kind of thing.
01:20You see, it's just a festival.
01:22That thing last night was just locals playing dress-up.
01:25That's all it was.
01:27Whatever, let's just get the tape and be done with this.
01:30What if she doesn't show?
01:33She will.
01:51Are you sure this is the right place?
01:53Yeah.
01:55Okay.
01:55Hi.
01:57Hello.
01:58Can I get three pints of Larger, please?
02:02Is this seemingly a pub?
02:04It certainly is.
02:06One pub, one shop, one post office around the corner.
02:11That's it, apart from my church.
02:13Right, thanks.
02:15We don't even know what she looks like.
02:17She could be some 50-year-old with no arms, no legs.
02:21Yeah, would she write the letters, then?
02:24Yeah.
02:26We are going to watch the film, aren't we?
02:29Of course.
02:31Have to make sure it's in mint condition, every bit of it.
02:35Here you go.
02:37On the house.
02:37That's sound.
02:39How'd you manage that?
02:40I told him we were orphaned by an IRA bomb.
02:43The British think it's basically Flanders overall.
02:46The bandage has really sold it.
02:49No surrender.
02:52So the police just showed up at your door
02:54and you expect me to believe you didn't call them?
02:55No, I didn't.
02:56Honestly, it was all about the missing money.
02:57Their first priority is to find the children.
02:59They already found out that Zoe was in hospital last night
03:02and signed herself out.
03:03I mean, that's what we're dealing with here.
03:04So no, we can't just sit around.
03:06We're getting the ferry.
03:06The guards will be checking in with our counterparts in the UK,
03:09so if you've any extra intel from those letters,
03:10I'll be.
03:11Could really deal with it.
03:12What do you mean?
03:13Why would I read them?
03:14They are his.
03:14Oh, God, be good to us.
03:16Really?
03:16Don't you want to know who he's meeting?
03:18I mean, who knows what sort of head the boys are dealing those videos?
03:20None of them are children anymore.
03:21Yes, they are.
03:23They are and they always will be.
03:24If they run, it's because they want to see us follow them.
03:27They're kids.
03:28They're our kids.
03:29So we will be getting the ferry,
03:31but there is room in the car if you change your mind.
03:33Come on, Frank.
03:52Is the pathologist done?
03:53Yeah, it took his time getting here, though.
03:56They're about to bag the body up.
04:00Found this.
04:04Ah, Christ.
04:11What are we going to do if she doesn't show?
04:13I need this money.
04:14She'll come.
04:17Okay, you wrote to a PO box, yeah?
04:19Okay, you wrote to a PO box, yeah?
04:22That proddy, vickery, reverend fella,
04:24he said that there's a post office on the other side of the village.
04:26Oh, well, surely they know who owns the box.
04:29I mean, if she lives around here...
04:30She's not even that late.
04:33Look, me and him need to stay here in case she shows.
04:36Ah, fuck no.
04:38I'm not going off by myself after that shit last night.
04:41You must be joking.
04:42You said yourself it was your trip.
04:45Your pen pal.
04:46Not a pen pal.
04:46Your problem.
04:50I can't.
04:53Oh, for fuck's sake.
04:55I'm getting tired of this, you know.
04:59Thanks, man.
05:00Appreciate it.
05:01Do you, though.
05:19Hello there, young man.
05:42Hi.
05:42I'm looking for a PO box.
05:44It's number 489.
05:46Is that here?
05:47It is.
05:47The very one.
05:48Would you be able to tell me who owns it?
05:51Please, if that's something you can do.
05:53Such lovely manners.
05:56So rare these days.
05:59But I'm afraid that would be against royal mail policy.
06:05Okay.
06:09So what happens when a letter arrives to a box?
06:12Well, I notify the owner.
06:14If they're local, I usually give them a call.
06:17Personal touch.
06:19That's how we do things around here.
06:23Okay.
06:24Can I get a piece of paper and an envelope then, please?
06:33I don't want to be drunk.
06:36She's not coming.
06:38Why would you say that?
06:40You don't know.
06:45Are you trying to get pissed?
06:47Yeah.
06:59You all right after last night?
07:00It's okay. I'm fine.
07:03Come on.
07:05Don't be such a dry shite.
07:07I watch schools getting drilled.
07:10I'm not a dry shite.
07:12Dry shite.
07:14Fuck off.
07:17You're easily influenced, aren't you?
07:24Me?
07:25You've never made an original choice in your life.
07:28You're a sheep following the crowd.
07:31You want to go there again?
07:32Okay.
07:33Because I'll tear your whole act to shreds.
07:35You know.
07:36I'm Billy.
07:37I'm too cool for friends because I don't have any.
07:39Don't talk like that.
07:41All right. How about a truce then?
07:43Give it to the end of this point.
07:44Wonderful.
07:55You know what?
07:58This is all a bit silly.
08:00I can't give you a name and address.
08:03But maybe if you were to ask me something else,
08:08I might be able to help you out.
08:10Okay.
08:10Well, we're looking for a girl that comes in here.
08:13She sends letters and packages to Ireland.
08:16Oh, yes.
08:18I think I know the very one.
08:22Well, let's just say if you happened to walk out the church road,
08:28follow the road all the way around until the crossroads,
08:31take a right and then a left,
08:34you might find someone worth talking to.
08:37Oh, my God.
08:38Thank you so much.
08:39We don't take the Lord's name in vain around here.
08:43Oh, right.
08:44Sorry. Of course.
08:49Could I get another piece of paper for all those directions?
08:52Thanks.
09:08Hey, Festival Week gents!
09:10Party best there, Tim?
09:11Sit down, Rob.
09:13All right, Reverend.
09:14Don't see you in here much.
09:15You're letting loose.
09:15Torn it down, son.
09:17Bit of respect.
09:18Fair enough.
09:19I know we're honouring the dead,
09:20but we're 300 years ago.
09:22I'm talking about the body they found by the lake.
09:24Could be one of our own.
09:26Oh, right, that.
09:29My brother's reporting on it for the paper.
09:31I haven't named it yet,
09:32but between me and you,
09:34they reckon it was a group thing.
09:37Three suspects.
09:38Terrible times.
09:40The whole world's gone to hell in a handbasket.
09:43Okay, truth.
09:45Because if I say it now, you'll twist it on me again.
09:50Is it true you're a man left for some other fella?
09:55What the fuck you ask me that for?
09:57Sorry!
09:59I thought this was truth or dare.
10:01I'll ask something else if it's too sensitive.
10:03No, it's not fucking...
10:05I don't even know.
10:08No one ever told me.
10:12I think she's living with some doctor now or something.
10:14I don't know if he's the reason why.
10:17Whatever.
10:18It was ages ago.
10:19I'm fine.
10:23Hey, your turn.
10:24Truth, why the fuck did you ask me that?
10:27Because...
10:29I knew it would get under your skin
10:31and that's what you're really afraid of.
10:32No, bullshit.
10:34So you can drink and go again.
10:43Come on.
10:45I answered your question.
10:46You asked me that for a reason.
10:47Why are you so interested all of a sudden?
10:50Because...
11:03I caught my dad sleeping with someone else.
11:07There you go.
11:12Con doesn't know.
11:14I'm just trying to keep everything together.
11:15Yeah, how's that working out for you?
11:17It's not so funny now, is it?
11:22Okay, dare.
11:23Come to the ladies with me.
11:24Come on, it'll be funny.
11:25Why?
11:26Because all these gifs will think we're having sex in there.
11:28Come on, Tom.
11:29This is all just a big distraction to you, isn't it?
11:31No.
11:32You're going to have to tell Con eventually, you know.
11:36Look at you.
11:38You're ducking the dare.
11:40You're morto.
11:40I'm not.
11:42Okay.
11:43Well, then you won't mind me doing this.
11:44Come on, Billy.
11:45Zoe.
11:45Let's go.
11:47I want you to do me now.
11:50Ride me sideways, Billy.
11:52Go on, show us what you're made of.
11:54Stop.
11:55What the fuck was that?
11:57Relax.
11:57We're having a laugh.
11:59You're half cut.
12:00Did you find anything?
12:03I know where she lives.
12:04All right.
12:04I don't care where you're from.
12:05We can't have that in here.
12:06I'm asking you to leave now.
12:08Okay, we're going anyway.
12:09Come on, get your bag and go.
12:10Get your hands off me.
12:11All right.
12:12Did we have a problem here?
12:14We don't like trouble around here.
12:15Especially from outsiders.
12:21I leave this alone for two seconds
12:23and he just gets thrown out of the place.
12:24Some people can't take a joke.
12:26Where are we even going?
12:27Don't worry about it.
12:28I'll handle this.
12:46Okay.
13:06Hello.
13:15You could have told me you were going from Belfast.
13:17I would have packed a sandwich.
13:19Yeah, I was a bit surprised you came, to be honest.
13:21What changed your mind?
13:23Are you serious?
13:26Wait.
13:27You didn't get a call from the police?
13:29What call?
13:30What call?
13:32Oh, God.
13:34Okay, how do I...
13:36Look, the good news is they have been sighted in Derbyshire.
13:41What's the bad news?
13:43They are wanted for questioning in a murder investigation.
13:47What?
13:49Jesus Christ.
13:53All right, this must be it.
13:56Are we sure about this?
13:58Just doorstep or...?
14:00I mean, why didn't she show?
14:01Let's ask her.
14:13Now, hang on.
14:15Am I the only one who finds this weird?
14:18What do we know about this girl?
14:21Don't start this again.
14:22Either we do it now or we go home.
14:25Let me lead this, all right?
14:26I'll explain with the post office.
14:27No, no, no.
14:29She's my contact.
14:31I'll do it.
14:36MUSIC PLAYS
14:42MUSIC CONTINUES
14:56Hi.
14:57Erm, we're looking for someone.
15:00Your sister, maybe?
15:01You're all right, I said there'd be two of yous.
15:04Who's the girl?
15:10Is she here or...?
15:11Fangoria Fangirl?
15:13Yeah.
15:14Yeah.
15:15You could say that.
15:18You'd better come in.
15:27You want your tape, right?
15:42DOOR SLAMS
15:50Anyone else home?
15:51Er...
15:53My parents are away.
15:57In here.
15:58Look, maybe you should just explain what's going on first.
16:02Ah, I'm...
16:06Fangoria Fangirl.
16:09I'm her.
16:11She's me.
16:13Pretended to be a girl when I posted it in Fangoria
16:15to get more replies.
16:18I had to keep it up.
16:22Nah.
16:23SHE COUGHS
16:24I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie.
16:26I'm not going to lie.
16:27I'm not going to lie.
16:28I'm not going to lie.
16:29I'm not going to lie.
16:30I'm not going to lie.
16:32I suppose she is.
16:33OK, she doesn't want to meet us for some reason
16:35and you're covering for her, right?
16:47This one?
16:56I knew it.
16:58I fucking knew it.
17:02If she's Billy.
17:03There's your dream girl.
17:05SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
17:07God, I'm sorry, that's priceless.
17:09SHE MAKES NOISES
17:11Can I, um, toilet?
17:13A toilet? Yeah, it was there on the left.
17:19Too much?
17:20Maybe the wrong moment to close.
17:22I thought I'd be happy.
17:24I mean, we found what we're looking for, right?
17:26Yeah.
17:28I've got it.
17:29You'll be able to check the whole thing.
17:31SHE MAKES NOISES
17:49You're no video player.
17:52Oh, yeah, er...
17:55Yeah, I've got a place out back.
17:57My mum's not too keen on me watching videos in the house.
18:02It means I can watch what I want.
18:05Would you like your tapes now?
18:07Oh, right, yeah, of course.
18:09Great.
18:19Was it not weird?
18:20You know, pretending to be a girl?
18:24I mean, Billy kind of liked you.
18:26I did. What?
18:28No, he... It was just a name.
18:30He saw what he wanted to.
18:33Right, erm...
18:38Oh, hey, hey.
18:40I'm going to see yous first.
18:47Hey, look, I'm sorry.
18:49I know it's not funny.
18:52To you.
18:53Yeah, look, you're not the only one you know.
18:55I do... I do lots of exchanges.
18:57Don't.
18:59I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me.
19:03Why didn't you just come to the pub?
19:05Come clean.
19:06You think I can just keep meeting strangers in a pub
19:08without people talking?
19:09Just give your address, then.
19:11So everybody knows where the illegal video collector lives.
19:15You all find the PO Box.
19:16If you're not some weirdo, he gets sent here.
19:20Look, let me get your tape.
19:22That's all that matters, right?
19:25Yeah.
19:29Yeah.
19:51I don't feel good about any of this.
19:53Where is he?
19:54Maybe he's gone to get his chainsaw.
19:56Look, this whole story checks out, apart from having a dick.
19:59I'm not staying to check that tape, all right?
20:01Let's just make the exchange and go.
20:04But it's worthless if it's not meant.
20:06We need to pay back that money or we're dead.
20:08I'll take my chances at home.
20:11But we were supposed to watch it.
20:13This is it, remember? You and me.
20:15Finishing this together.
20:16Yeah, that was before.
20:20Yeah, was it?
20:22Or was this whole thing about your pen pal?
20:25What's wrong with you?
20:26Are you embarrassed?
20:27What, cos you had a crush on this guy?
20:28Shut your mouth.
20:33What do you think?
20:35Is it there or go?
20:36What are you even asking her for?
20:38You never listen to me.
20:40You always want to be in control of everything we do.
20:43You sent me off to do your grunt work
20:44while you two got half-pissed.
20:45Don't get angry with me, all right?
20:47If you don't want to do something, just fucking say it.
20:49I don't want to go to London.
20:51All right? I never did.
20:52I don't want to make tea on fucking film sets.
20:54I want you to stay in Dublin.
21:00Why didn't you just tell me?
21:03Cos...
21:05Cos I don't want this to be the end.
21:23Look.
21:24I'm sorry.
21:26All right?
21:29This was my stupid plan.
21:33Maybe I shouldn't be in charge any more.
21:37Whatever you think.
21:39I trust you.
21:42Sorry about the wait.
21:46So, do you want to check this now?
21:47Will you have a cup of tea or something?
21:51Would you mind if I held it?
21:55Yeah.
22:07Let's do this.
22:08Yeah.
22:12Over here.
22:17No, thanks. Not my thing.
22:22Are you sure? It's not long.
22:24This is theirs.
22:27Wait.
22:31I really think you should...
22:32I don't want to watch that shit, all right?
22:38OK.
22:41Don't go messing with anything.
22:43My mum's very particular.
22:46OK.
22:48PHONE VIBRATES
22:53Yeah, erm...
23:18Not bad, right?
23:19We converted the old cow shed.
23:23I'll be honest,
23:25I still haven't quite got rid of the smell.
23:36To be honest, man, we were, erm...
23:39We were a bit worried for a minute, you know?
23:41Why?
23:43Were you expecting a dungeon?
23:47I used a girl's name.
23:48It doesn't mean I'm some sort of freak, does it?
23:55Here we go.
24:00Get ready for some gore.
24:18PHONE VIBRATES
24:32PICKETS
24:33The police cordon was penetrated
24:35as men threw themselves at the van.
24:38Some tried to lay down in the road
24:40and there were scuffles as policemen hauled them clear.
24:43The conflict outside the van
24:45pursued the character of a stage-directed drama.
25:06Hello, you've reached the power household.
25:08We're not in right...
25:14HE SIGHS
25:20Hello?
25:27DISTORTED SCREAMS
25:35Oh, my God!
25:36Oh, my God!
25:37Oh, my God!
25:38SCREAMS
25:43♪♪
25:51Hey, thanks for pushing me.
25:53Yeah.
25:55♪♪
26:03♪♪
26:11♪♪
26:21♪♪
26:31♪♪
26:41♪♪
26:51♪♪
27:01♪♪
27:04Aah!
27:06Aah!
27:07Aah!
27:08Aah!
27:09Aah!
27:10Aah!
27:11♪♪
27:15Billy!
27:17♪♪
27:22Hey, hey, hey, hey!
27:24♪♪
27:31Bollocks.
27:33♪♪
27:46The body of a young woman has been discovered
27:48by a wooded lake outside of Ashdale.
27:51Detectives are particularly keen
27:53to speak to three teenagers from Ireland
27:55who were seen in the area.
27:57The teenagers were said to have bandages on their left hand.
28:02♪♪
28:12♪♪
28:22♪♪