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FunTranscript
00:00You're watching football?
00:02There's no fooling you.
00:06Now, what is this SACS statistic they put up there?
00:09All I know about SACS is my mother shops there.
00:15SACS. SACS.
00:18It's football nomenclature for when a quarterback is tackled behind the line of scrimmage.
00:23Huh.
00:26Scrimmage.
00:29The line of scrimmage is the imaginary transverse line separating the offense from the defense.
00:36Oh.
00:38Sheldon knows football?
00:41Apparently.
00:42I mean, Quidditch, sure, but football?
00:47Sheldon, how do you know this stuff?
00:49I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas.
00:53Pro football, college football, high school football, peewee football.
00:57In fact, every form of football except the original, European football.
01:02Most Texans believe to be a commie plot.
01:07Unbelievable.
01:08If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.
01:16So, you could teach me?
01:19Football or chicken fried meats?
01:22Football.
01:23I'm going to Penny's on Saturday to watch a game with her friends and I don't want to look like an idiot.
01:27I want to blend in.
01:28You want to blend in with Penny's friends?
01:30I think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.
01:34Come on, Sheldon, please teach me football. It'll be fun.
01:36That's exactly what my father said.
01:39Come to the games. Watch the games. Week in and week out.
01:43From the time I was five until I went off to college.
01:45Longest seven years of my life.
01:47Please, I'm asking you as a friend.
01:51Are you making this a tier one friendship request?
01:55Yes.
01:57Fine.
01:59I really appreciate this.
02:00Yeah, yeah.
02:01All right, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.
02:05I'm sorry?
02:06That's how my father always began our football conversations.
02:10And if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you how to play football.
02:14And if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.