Tell Me Why podcast host Maria Botros speaks with Kai Simmonds, a Mindset and Well-Being Coach, about how healing is a holistic process that involves recovery in the mind, body and soul in order to achieve total wellness.
Kai: People shouldn't ignore signs of stress or anxiety because they won't go away on their own, they get worse
The mind, soul and body are interconnected, and we work on connecting the dots to start the healing process, says Kai
Kai: Root causes must be addressed to stop the situation from worsening
Meditation is great for healing, but it is a very advanced practice, so people need to be gentle with themselves, says Kai
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#UAEnews #podcast #wellness
Kai: People shouldn't ignore signs of stress or anxiety because they won't go away on their own, they get worse
The mind, soul and body are interconnected, and we work on connecting the dots to start the healing process, says Kai
Kai: Root causes must be addressed to stop the situation from worsening
Meditation is great for healing, but it is a very advanced practice, so people need to be gentle with themselves, says Kai
See more videos at https://gulfnews.com/videos
Read more Gulf News stories here: https://bit.ly/2HLJ2km
Subscribe to Gulf News on YouTube and watch more of our videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/GulfNewsTV
#UAEnews #podcast #wellness
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NewsTranscript
00:00the traditional medical things of like going to the doctors and like they couldn't find anything
00:04like wrong with me they were like oh you're stressed oh you you have anxiety and i was like
00:08what is what is stress what is anxiety okay where what do i do like there wasn't kind of like
00:12exactly like there's no chill pill i wouldn't exactly precisely there's nothing i can take to
00:17make me feel better yeah yeah yeah so because of that and the first thing i was very stubborn so
00:22this is another i always like to tell this because i think a lot of people think oh she just did one
00:26two three no i was stubborn i was like ah it just happened once let me let me brush it off and then
00:31this is another thing i think a lot of people think that it's going to go away on its own
00:35right when in fact it actually gets worse so it was okay for a few months and then i changed jobs
00:41because i thought oh this job is so toxic the stress environment if i change my job it's going
00:45to be better and i changed jobs and i found a different school and it was more supportive
00:50but after six months i started getting panic attacks while i was driving
00:58all right welcome back this is tell me why i'm maria botros welcome back to everyone that's
01:04been listening to us the past few weeks and um hello to any newcomers um today we have
01:10kai simmons joining me in the studio she is a mindset and well-being coach i think that's so
01:16fascinating i think it's important first of all to define what a mindset and well-being coach is
01:22um so that's going to be my first question to you but before we do that um how are you how's
01:26everything i'm good i'm good i'm super happy to be here um thanks for having me it's lovely having
01:31you in here um so yeah so just tell us like what is a mindset and well-being coach like what do you
01:36do and and who are your clients typically yeah so it's kind of a combination of things so i'll
01:43explain a little bit but basically what i help others do is overcome anxiety stress and of course
01:47burnout and the way that i do that is through different modalities but for me the idea of
01:52well-being is your body mind and soul so i think a lot of people they realize as you go down this
01:58journey you know your physical health is connected to your mental health right and then for me i also
02:02like to say you know we're also us we have a soul you know that's what keeps us different between
02:06you know a chair and a human is that soul part so for me the idea of well-being is all about
02:12kind of supporting your mind body and soul because they are all connected
02:16and then the way that i do that is a lot of different mindset coaching so um for me one of
02:21the things that i focus on a lot is limiting beliefs um that causes a lot of stress and
02:26yeah clients and anxiety and then the other part is something called somatics but i've also heard
02:33other people call it biohacking um there's so many different terms to it but basically it's all about
02:39learning how to regulate your nervous system so your body and activating like your own self-healing
02:45um energy and i know this might sound a little woo but i'm happy to explain all of the biology
02:51so it's again combining that mindset coaching um and then the thing i think a lot of people
02:57well i think i like to explain the difference between a therapist and a coach at least for me
03:02i love them both i work with them both so there's no one is better than the other but for me a coach
03:07and a lot of what i do with my clients is i make sure that they're taking action so i always give
03:12them homework and i'm like are you implementing this are you doing this this this so that's the
03:16other part of like how i support my clients it's not just you know we come and we unpack things
03:21and they talk about things which is important but then i'm like okay we're creating an action plan
03:25we're creating a roadmap so that you can move and become successful towards your goals so that's
03:30kind of a big overview i'm sure i can explain a bit more as we as we share today oh yeah and we'll
03:35dive into everything like don't worry we'll get there um but i think it's it's interesting that
03:40you said like a the difference between a life coach and a therapist we did have um she's a
03:44life coach but more of like on on the corporate side like a work coach basically for like um
03:51people in managerial uh positions or ceos and like she's trying to help them you know
03:56uh connect with their personal lives a bit more because they've been so overwhelmed with work
04:00um and we asked that question and she said it it works both ways and they're sort of like
04:05interconnected so like they they complement each other they don't go against each other
04:09and and i think they both help each other with with the client like when it comes to the client
04:14um and i think one of the biggest traps that we all fall into is when we think of well-being we
04:19only think of one aspect so we so we might look at the physical aspect and neglect the soul as
04:25you said and like this the psychological well-being of a person and i think that's so
04:31crucial it's 360 like you have to it's it's it's it's a it's a it's the whole picture rather than
04:37just one piece of the puzzle and i think we forget that and um i speak for myself because i think
04:43like when i start like a well-being you know journey and i'm all pumped i i focus on one or
04:48two aspects and i neglect the third as you said so um how do you put that into perspective with
04:53like a client like how do you explain that how do you introduce that it's super interesting you say
04:57that because and i completely agree with what you say because a lot of the clients when they come to
05:02me they've already done like the physical part they're already you know exercising they're
05:06already eating well their nutrition is fine um they've seen therapists so they're like they've
05:11gotten to a specific point and they're kind of stuck and i'm the last part that i kind of move
05:16them forward so so yeah i think they it's again when we're in the sessions it's connecting oh
05:23this affects this part of your life there's a lot of connecting the dots i like to say
05:27and like finding the patterns that are interconnected between your mind between
05:31your body and between your soul right and and so then it it becomes kind of like an unraveling
05:36because i've been even just explaining it it's it's hard to explain it but when you're in a
05:40session you you feel it and that's the thing i think with with the soul part it's not really
05:44something you can explain but it's it's more of a feeling and i know that we've all had that feeling
05:49of like you know you see something like just going and traveling and seeing this amazing beautiful
05:54nature's escape you get this kind of like i call it the chills where it's just like right
05:59that i feel like that's your soul like that's your soul lighting up and i think
06:03sometimes we forget and we're disconnected like we're not just bots we're not just machines
06:08we have a soul and so as we go through the sessions we unravel and we start to connect
06:12them all and it becomes clear at the end okay yeah i know it's sort of like an epiphany at
06:17the end like you feel like oh my goodness that this was this was the journey that i needed i
06:22needed to go through everything to be able to feel this way to be able to feel good about myself
06:28okay so before we dive into like the technicalities of it all and the biohacking
06:34because you mentioned something and i'm and i'm like thinking about it right now but we'll get
06:37ready you're like what are you talking about exactly like i want to know more i got you
06:42exactly before we do what got you into that like was it a personal experience um yeah yeah i mean
06:48so when i came here out to the uae eight years ago i came as an english teacher it was just me
06:53and my cat i brought him from the u.s and there were a lot of things in my life that i hadn't
06:58addressed um mostly like mental health kind of issues anxiety and then coming out here by myself
07:04you know starting a new life starting a new career um it kind of just like it all came together and
07:09it kind of exploded and i remember i was teaching in the classroom and i had like my first anxiety
07:15attack which is quite scary you're in a classroom full of like 25 students and then all of a sudden
07:20you can't breathe and so of course they didn't see it thankfully i ran out and a colleague helped me
07:24but that was like the first time in my life that i was like what what's what's wrong like
07:28and then i went down that journey you know with the traditional medical things of like going to
07:33the doctors and like they couldn't find anything like wrong with me they were like oh you're
07:37stressed oh you you have anxiety and i was like what is what is stress what is anxiety okay where
07:41what do i do like there wasn't kind of like exactly like there's no chill pill i wouldn't
07:46exactly precisely there's nothing i can take to make me feel better yeah yeah yeah so because of
07:51that and the first thing i was very stubborn so this is another i always like to tell this because
07:55i think a lot of people think oh she just did one two three no i was stubborn i was like ah it just
07:59happened once let me let me brush it off and then this is another thing i think a lot of people
08:04think that it's going to go away on its own right when in fact it actually gets worst so it was okay
08:10for a few months and then i changed jobs because i thought oh this job is so toxic the stress
08:15environment if i change my job it's going to be better and i changed jobs and i found a different
08:19school and it was more supportive but after six months i started getting panic attacks while i
08:23was driving which is also scarier because again i hadn't addressed the root causes and i hadn't
08:29been taking care of like my mental health so that's when i really started to kind of like
08:34whoa okay this is something this is something this is something that's not going away
08:39and i started to get into yoga which is the first step and also i was like anti-yoga person
08:45okay i played competitive sports my whole life i was like you're number one or you're last
08:51it's just how it works exactly like you're number one or that's it and that is so stressful by the
08:57way like when you are because i'm like that i'm a very competitive person like even when it comes
09:01to like your usual monday night game night like i'm just so competitive i take it to a whole new
09:07level and that is a lot of pressure it does add to the pressure sorry to cut you off no that's
09:12exactly i mostly still you know i call myself like a recovering perfectionist which comes competitive
09:17like me and my husband will be like and i'm like just breathe just breathe yeah i don't have to
09:22everything um so yeah getting into yoga was actually because my husband i was making fun
09:27of it all the time but my husband was like i dare you to go to a yoga class and and i was like this
09:33yoga nonsense what is this stuff like what is you know because again i was like i played i was a
09:38collegiate athlete i was a competitor i was that was my thing but i remember i went to my first
09:43yoga class and it was a bikram which is a 90 minute hot yoga class yoga yes it was horrible
09:49yes horrible yes but in the last part which is like they call it shavasana or your resting pose
09:54resting for the first time in my life i think i had like 30 seconds of peace my mind that there
10:00was a constant chatter right my mind was silent and i had a moment of peace that i never felt in
10:05my life and i was like what is this yeah this is cool like what's going on yeah so then that got
10:11me down into the whole like wellness and holistic route of going into yoga sound healing meditation
10:17and then um are you veda traditional chinese medicine and then everything i did so i became
10:23a certified yoga teacher meditation reiki sound healing life purpose coach oh my goodness sound
10:29healing yes i tried that class but i just have to mention this because everything you're talking
10:34about is something that i've experienced personally firsthand so i went to this it's
10:38called a sound bath and healing class i did it for the first time and to be honest it was like
10:45i was transported to a different universe and time went by so quickly and she did actually
10:52mention that at the beginning of the class she's like um you might not feel it but you
10:56like you'll feel like you've almost finished the class in 10 minutes but it's been an hour
11:01and when she hit the like i think it was a gong at the end i was like oh my gosh we didn't even
11:07like i didn't even spend an hour i look at the watch and it's been an hour and she's like be
11:11very cautious be very sensitive with yourself and that night i broke down in tears and she's like
11:18that's she did actually mention that in the class she's like you might feel emotional you might get
11:23emotional tell your partners tell your husbands your wives you know just take it easy on me and i
11:28did actually tell my husband i was like you know she said this and i'm not quite sure if that's if
11:33if that's gonna happen and i i kind of brushed it off and that night i just started crying out of
11:39nowhere and it was it was like it was an eye-opener i think like we we take it lightly we
11:46take yoga lightly we take the sound healing lightly but honestly it was it was life-changing
11:51but yeah sorry i just had to mention that no and to come to that i've i've heard that from many
11:56people they've never done sound healing in their life they're not into this stuff you know someone
12:00tells them to go or they go with a friend and they have very similar experiences to what you're
12:04saying so i i know exactly what you mean and and yeah it is it is it is powerful and and i even got
12:10into it because like i call myself like the worst meditator i cannot meditate it's so hard but in
12:16sound healing or when you're doing a sound bath because there's like a sound it gave my mind
12:20something to to focus on instead of just like blanking out it's exactly impossible you focus
12:26on you focus on the sounds you focus on the vibrations they even say like bring in your
12:29bottle of water because like those that positive energy gets transferred to like everything that
12:34you consume basically so i i found it fascinating there is a science behind it i'm sure so it's good
12:40and i and i agree with you i find it really hard to meditate because i get distracted really easily
12:45and my mind's always on like turbo like i'm always thinking i'm always worrying about something that's
12:50about to happen like even if it's not happening yeah yeah so i i completely get that and again
12:56like a yoga teacher sound like i can't even meditate so please guys be gentle on yourselves
13:00like give yourself a break it is a very advanced practice i don't know why they
13:04yeah they promote meditation for beginners it is not there's other ways to practice mindfulness
13:09but meditation itself the practice it's very much an advanced practice oh of course of course to
13:13reach that point where your mind is blank i think that's like the hardest exercise like harder than
13:19a HIIT workout like i would do a HIIT workout gladly but it's just that like just being completely
13:24blank i found that very challenging and it goes into your sleep like i find that challenging
13:30because it's so hard to wind down at night as well before you sleep and i think that adds on
13:35to the stress and anxiety and you know the lack of sleep as well adds on to that we can go on and on
13:42i feel like i can talk about this all day long because everyone goes through it yeah um but um
13:47i want to go back to like your experience yeah so you were saying yoga and you got into that and
13:52then so what happened next all these things for myself and i always tell people i was my first
13:57client because everything i tried in the traditional sense wasn't working right um started
14:03working with therapists and then it's like it's it's weird like things just started to to come
14:09come apart and there started to be times in my life where like i started to have space in my
14:13head because like you said like there was always this constant chatter this constant like let's go
14:17let's go but then like sometimes i would just like where's that voice and there was space in my head
14:22and i was like whoa what is this and so the more work you do that's what i like to explain it feels
14:28like it feels like you have like clarity in your head you literally have peace of mind the voice
14:32is quiet or when the voice comes in you can also be like not right now you know like you just push
14:37it aside yeah so that so again my own journey and then sharing it with others and then i was like
14:42everyone needs to know this yeah and so then that's when the the shift came from me just
14:46trying to work on myself and get myself better to like no i want to help other people who are
14:50like me who are like you know very busy people ambitious people who are maybe skeptical about
14:56spirituality and wellness but actually these things help and the way that i work and the way
15:01that i work on myself is i incorporate it into my life so it's not like it's great if you can
15:07take a three-week trip to bali it's great if you can go to costa rica for two weeks or take six
15:12months off and travel that's great but i i never and even now like that that's not really how my
15:17life is like you know i have responsibilities and also like i love my life i don't want to
15:22leave it for six months i love my cats like i'd miss them so those are kind of the people that
15:26i resonate with is is those people who want to integrate it into their life and like little
15:31shifts and little habits because it builds up over time right right um and honestly it's not
15:36always feasible like to take six months off i mean we all have full-time jobs and we all have
15:41responsibilities as you said like people have kids people have you know lives that they're leading so
15:45it's not always like it's good to incorporate it into your day-to-day life rather than taking
15:50those six months off because again it's long term as well so like you you sort of have like a like
15:55a manual or like a like a guide for the toolkit or your toolbox the toolkit exactly like just
16:01something to you know to fall back on okay so um who are typically your clients like how do people
16:08approach you and like how does it all start like i feel like if i approach you for the first time
16:12i'll be like i don't know what to say like i i just don't know where to start
16:15yeah so it's funny when i first started i was like okay i'm gonna help ambitious women expats
16:20because i'm an expat right you know who are around my age range no the clients that i started coming
16:25and working with me are like men in their 40s you know people from different parts of the world so
16:31both like native speakers native english speakers and non-native english speakers right yeah so like
16:37from europe from you know the region around here from africa um and again like like i said men so
16:43really there's no specific demographic i thought i had one but then other people started approaching
16:48me and i started working with them i was like wow we we really get on like we really i'm really able
16:54to support you but usually what i do is like i run like master classes or workshops in dubai because
16:59like you said like what i'm just gonna go on instagram and message me and then be like right
17:03how do i even start so really i know that it is and it's very overwhelming you wouldn't so the
17:09what i usually do is i have like online webinars or i have in-person workshops on different topics
17:14related to stress anxiety burnout confidence and then that's where usually my client clients will
17:20find me and i love these workshops because like it's so funny because everyone comes in thinking
17:25like they're alone in this but then for me the workshop is not just about me talking and like
17:29talking about myself but it's a an opportunity for people to connect with one another right so
17:34that's a great way for them to connect and to share and be open and then that's when you know
17:39they'll be like okay so how can i implement this into my life can you help me and that's where it
17:43kind of involves working with them on one-on-one basis yeah no and it's important to talk about
17:49yourself because when you do that you sort of encourage them to open up and to you break that
17:54barrier people often think that you know what like it's awkward talking about my feelings it's
17:59awkward to tell someone that i'm going through so much when really and you know what i find it
18:04fascinating as well because sometimes i fall into this trap i feel like my life is so it's it's going
18:09well like why do i feel this way and i think that's the core of it is that you almost feel like
18:15why am i not thankful or why am i not feeling grateful or or feeling well when really my life
18:23is going well like i have a good job i have a good partner i have i have healthy kids let's say i i
18:28mean and a lot of people just feel like they fall into that trap and they feel like no i shouldn't
18:33be talking about this because everything's going well why am i complaining when really there's a
18:37root cause causing all of that pain um okay so you mentioned stress burnout anxiety those key words
18:45those are like the buzzwords we're always throwing around yeah exactly everyone is talking about
18:51these words and everyone you know emphasizes on these words so before we get into it um burnout
18:57is going to be like on its own because like i think that's that's the major topic and i think
19:01that's what we're going to focus on but we before we get into that uh stress and anxiety um what are
19:06they like let's just define them and and how do you help people manage them so stress first so
19:13stress is a physiological response to our body thinking that we're in danger right so looking at
19:19our biology and the way we were designed you know i like to say like our i'll go to the so we have
19:24something called the amygdala which is a part of our brain which like is always scanning for danger
19:29when we were you know like the early humans and we didn't have technology we didn't have shelter
19:32protecting us this is what kept us safe right they'd be like oh that's a snake it bit it bit
19:37my friend that snake died now i know the amygdala is like okay snakes are dangerous poisonous let's
19:41avoid that right so this part of our brain is there to protect us to keep us safe however even
19:49though our phones get upgrades every year our brains don't so our amygdala is always looking
19:54out for for fear for stress for because it thinks it's protecting us right now in the world that we
20:00live in especially in dubai or in cities like we don't have wild animals chasing us like we're not
20:05you know having these huge problems but our stress triggers are probably something different
20:10they're probably like you know a boss or an employee saying something negative about us it's
20:15probably traffic right some of these things but a lot of these times these triggers connect back
20:20to our traumas that we had as we were growing up right and our traumas i like to call them little
20:26t so we have little t and we have big t big t or things like you know if you like had some physical
20:32abuse or like something horrific happened you're aware of that's big t and like if you're you know
20:36you have big t right and you're you like i went through this horrible time but then there's like
20:40little t like breakups like the everyday stuff or this is one for me growing up in school i was so
20:46quiet i was so afraid to speak up in class because there was a moment and this came out in a therapy
20:53session so i'm not saying like oh i knew about this and i'm super aware yeah where i remember
20:57in class someone had raised their hand they got the wrong answer and everyone laughed at them
21:01so then that told my brain okay if you raise your hand and you get something wrong everyone's going
21:06to make fun of you so you should never raise your hand or you speak up and these little t's
21:12they're stored in our subconscious which is a part of our brain that we are not so connected
21:17to right you have your subconscious and your conscious so our amygdala knows about it but but
21:21we're not so we're going through life and these little t's of like for example that was my little
21:27t so anytime i had to speak up and work it was already like the amygdala is like you're in danger
21:32you're in danger fear it would send all of the to my nervous system we have two nervous systems
21:37i'll get into that later yeah send a signal to my nervous system you're in fear we either fight
21:42right fight flight yeah freeze or fawn fawn is kind of like to run to someone and be like help
21:48me yeah so this is what happens when you're stressed you you see danger again could be
21:54something from it's most likely for for again for the people that i work with little t that
21:59happened in their life that they're not aware of and then it's like oh my gosh this is a dangerous
22:04zone stress and it goes through your body and when your body is going through that physiological
22:08response it's like i said fight flight or freeze and anything else any other organ which is
22:15basically not your adrenal gland gets then the energy the blood is not so like for your example
22:19your digestive issue right we need right we need that to digest we need our organs we need our
22:23lungs to breathe to keep us healthy but when we're stressed we're like oh my god i'm afraid
22:28then again everything goes to your adrenal glands to help you fight fight or freeze
22:32so then that's where the the health issues come in right so that's stress and then
22:38yeah so stress is again seeing and thinking that we're in danger either we know it big t or we
22:43don't know it little t and then anxiety is then again trying to prevent that right so we're like
22:49oh my gosh like our brain is like again trying to foresee the future right it's always trying to say
22:54like how can i make sure that my future self does not have any any danger around me how can i go
23:00down this thing or think this down and again when you're actually thinking about a stressful
23:04situation or but our brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's
23:08imagined so as you're imagining these like made-up scenarios because this is what i i used to do a
23:13lot it still happens but a lot less you're telling your brain like oh something bad is going to
23:18happen then the stress kind of kind of come back comes back in but the anxiety is always thinking
23:22about something happening in the future right that hasn't actually happened right so that's a
23:26little bit about anxiety and stress as far as like again telling our body we're in danger so then our
23:32body then reacts as if we're in danger right and that's when the health issues come up and that's
23:37when the burnout comes up and and and yeah but it all starts here and like i said a lot of my clients
23:43they're not and especially for me like i didn't have like a traumatic traumatic childhood like my
23:49parents were together i lived in you know the u.s nothing ever dangerous really happened to me
23:56so like i think you were sharing earlier i was like why am i at least for me i was like why am
23:59i so stressed and anxious all the time when i haven't had anything big or bad happen exactly
24:04because it was like these little things these little t's that i call them that got into my
24:10subconscious and started to tell me stories about things that were dangerous that are not actually
24:14dangerous yes