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AmusantTranscription
00:00No significance. It's just the empty, gibberitical sound of soul serenity.
00:05Vibrations devoid of implicatorial importance.
00:08There's no issues. Don't look for meaning because there is none, okay?
00:11Meditation just calms me down.
00:18I alone stride along to strive alone to unify all men
00:23in the greasy heat of my unifier.
00:26No! Back away from the boy!
00:27Un cloven his hoove, this abuse will not stand down.
00:31You can't pope with his pooper, Fadre.
00:33I don't know what you're saying.
00:34I'll get to your bottom of this.
00:35Show me on me what the bad man did to you.
00:37Did he make you go down on your knees for him?
00:39Only when he prayed with me.
00:41Sounds like you were his prey.
00:42Where'd you come across this child?
00:44My face?
00:45Ooh, nice.
00:45This is a poor orphan boy from the parish.
00:48They say he was a virgin birth.
00:49But every boy needs love.
00:51Well, I never got any.
00:52And I think I turned out okay.
00:54Here, wear this priest-proof chastity diaper
00:57so he can't catholic you no more.
00:59Well, I don't like what you're insinuating.
01:00That thing is scaring me.
01:02Okay, your wholeness.
01:03Let me smell your fingers.
01:05Now you smell mine, kid.
01:06You smell his nose while I check him for lies.
01:08Well, that's it.
01:09Forgive me, Father, as I make this poor soul take that.
01:12Sweet Mother Mary, shut your virgin eyes
01:14as I force this arse to taste the pain.
01:16You are forgiven, my child.
01:18Come on, Seamus.
01:18Hail Mary full of gaze.
01:20Well, I say you're in my gaze.
01:22If you so much as think about touching that boy again,
01:25I'll so much as think about doing something about it.
01:28You did a good job keeping Al's secret.
01:31Just don't ever tell nobody about what I do to you.
01:34Or I cut your parts off and feed them to my teddy bear,
01:37Mr. Ruffle.
01:38Okay.
01:39Just don't do those things to me bad place anymore.
01:42I'll do what I want.
01:43Got it?
01:44Yes, Seamus.
01:45This happy place holds magic meaning
01:48for T'wa, my mother's nickname.
01:50Truckers, delivery guys,
01:52men coming in and out of the house all day.
01:54Called her the Grand Canyon.
01:56But I never knew why.
01:57It's just a great wide gash,
01:58spread open for the enjoyment of all to come inside.
02:01And as he pleases and pleasures,
02:03often there's a donkey in there.
02:04He, huh?
02:05Don't fear.
02:06Help is on the right here.
02:08No, no, no help needed.
02:10We're fine, right, honey?
02:11Have another one, honey.
02:12Just enjoying this beautiful weather,
02:13laying flowers where our son was killed.
02:16And I suppose you blame yourselves for his death.
02:18I know I do.
02:19We've just been a little depressed since he died.
02:21I don't know what it is.
02:23I am a raging hellfire of roiling misery.
02:25That's what these penguins are for.
02:27A dead child is like pudding.
02:29The proof is in the fact that he probably looked like pudding
02:32when he got hit by that car.
02:34And I think it's time you be pudding
02:35his chocolate memory to rest.
02:37Rest?
02:38Have one of the green ones.
02:38They'll help you rest.
02:39You want to rest?
02:40No, I don't believe in pills.
02:42There's a pill for that, too.
02:43Here.
02:44My parakeet feeds her babies every day.
02:47How come I don't get no din-din?
02:48Mommy loves only her pills.
02:51They stop my quivers.
02:54Thanks, Mommy.
02:56Pills are just a psychotropic bond aid
02:58on a biochemical crutch.
03:00I took a pill once and I woke up with a booty hole
03:02the size of a wine bottle.
03:03Fat end first.
03:04But did I whine?
03:05No, I turned to the bottle.
03:06And when I woke up from that,
03:07I met up with you fine folks to warn you about pills.
03:10Just walk it off.
03:11Your child is dead and you can never, ever replace him.
03:13That's it.
03:14I can replace him.
03:15You can?
03:15By the end of the day,
03:16you will have forgotten all about your dead turtle.
03:19I mean son.
03:20See?
03:22They've got this poor child pulling a train.
03:25It's time to cease the skeet and diddling and skedaddle
03:27and get you a new mommy and daddy.
03:29Fresh meat.
03:30Look at this den of sinequity.
03:32Even the Bibles are ribbed.
03:33But for whose pleasure?
03:34They even have a sex swing set.
03:36And whoopee crayons just need to black you up.
03:38Flash colored.
03:39How offensive.
03:40Oh, shiftless.
03:41This ought to get you black on track.
03:44This is Shocker Dingo.
03:46He looks just like our Michael
03:47right after he got hit by that car.
03:49Shocker Dingo, go hug your new mommy and daddy.
03:52We're not ready for this.
03:53I can't just...
03:55Can't pick you up, dear.
03:57Mommy's holding some raw meat.
04:02Mommy can't kiss your boo-boo.
04:04Still holding that raw meat from years ago.
04:08Meat.
04:09Close your legs, mother.
04:11You're embarrassing me.
04:12I'll make you all vibe together
04:14using ancient Hopi tribe procedure rituals
04:17that will fashion family bondage.
04:20We're recreating the psychogenetic birthular attachment.
04:23Push, push.
04:24But I can't push him out.
04:25He's not in.
04:26I think I know what I'm doing.
04:28Pull, pull.
04:29I'm confused.
04:31You've got black gobs of family holidays to make up for.
04:34Four Kwanzas, three Kwanza-weens
04:36and a queefster to quench up on.
04:37Queer, bite the Kwanza bean.
04:39This isn't a real Kwanza bean.
04:41As your brines intertwines
04:43the commingling fluid family-ize-ifieses you.
04:47You are now one.
04:47Do you have any mouthwash?
04:48Your breath stinks.
04:50And the last step,
04:51to pick up where you left off with Michael
04:53so that Shockadingo can fill the place
04:55in your black heart that Michael so rudely interrupted.
04:58Yes, snatch him.
04:59Throw the clutches whence your prior son was fell-dead.
05:02And yes, I glued his shoes to the road
05:04to cement a seal on the deal.
05:06And yes, I tied his belt,
05:07twixt two trees for kicks.
05:11Oh, I never want to lose you again.
05:13Son, fruitada, family achieved.
05:16You're psycho-legally adopted.
05:18What's that over there?
05:19A candy dolphin?
05:21Ooh, candy dolphin? Where is it?
05:22Maybe if I look real hard...
05:24I'm gonna do bad things to you tonight
05:26and make you suffer for my poison.
05:29What? I see what's going on.
05:31You're trying to distract me
05:32to keep me from seeing a sweet land dolphin.
05:34There's something fishy about you two.
05:36As this child's weenie-minder,
05:38I am policing you now
05:39and I'll cop you later
05:40if you so much as yodel his scrotal
05:42or fiddle his faddle.
05:43I have reason to believe this kid's lower back-bottom
05:45was once treated like Grand Central Station.
05:47And I got four tickets to the opera.
05:49We'll get there by train, a-pizz.
05:53If you say anything,
05:54you're gonna wake up with your face in my tummy
05:57because I ate it.
05:58What were you two doing in the bathroom
06:00during intermission?
06:01We were just talking.
06:01Eating ice cream?
06:02I mean, talking about ice cream
06:03that we were just eating.
06:04What? But were you doing in there earlier?
06:06I was being raped.
06:07By Flavor. He just shoved the comb right in me.
06:10Last night, he gave me a banana split
06:12and it hurt.
06:13I can't take it anymore. Open your mouth.
06:15What are you doing to the boy's mouth?
06:16Mommy, daddy, I'm sorry I hurt you.
06:19I won't anymore.
06:20Can I have more pills?
06:21Yes, have all you want, son.
06:23Pills? You can't swallow your way to happiness.
06:26You couldn't even swallow your way
06:27out of a bus station bathroom.
06:29What are these pills?
06:30Fiddle and don't worry, they're spiritually-based drugs.
06:32Look, recent science has discovered
06:34that for thousands of years,
06:35Tibetan monks used guttural prayer chants
06:37to soothe their yellow souls
06:38in the yellow face of their yellow oppressors.
06:40But in our sophisticated world,
06:42who has time for that noise?
06:43You've got enough on your plate.
06:44Let Fiddle and do the spiritual legwork for you.
06:47At Transcendental Medication,
06:48we sonically condense the bio-dharmic vibrations
06:51of over 1,000 monk chants into every pill.
06:53Science-spiritific audiologists have found
06:55that vibration from a monk's throat
06:57doesn't radiate in megahertz, but in megahertz.
06:59Come to Jamaica!
07:00If not now, when?
07:02If not it, what?
07:03If not things, stuff?
07:04Side effects include wetnow,
07:05clad blood, frozen day rate,
07:06herniated monsterism,
07:07taint misbehaving,
07:08urethral screaming,
07:08global colostomy phase,
07:09wrong body,
07:10restless lung syndrome,
07:10and sexual diarrhea.
07:12Do not wake the sleeping yellow dragon.
07:13Who says you can't find purity in a pill?
07:15Tune in to Fiddlin' with your soul.
07:17Oh no!
07:17My sacred mantra is being commodified!
07:20These Fiddlin' monks are being explat upon!
07:22They're being played like a fiddle!
07:23I'll stop that racket with my enlightened violins!
07:28The man is floating in your face!
07:30Who are your bosses?
07:31Show yourselves, you cowards!
07:33We own the temple.
07:34We are our own bosses.
07:36So it's you, you rat!
07:38We are simple people,
07:39happy to share our love with all.
07:41Where I come from, sharing love
07:43without making a profit
07:44is called being a whore.
07:45And the working conditions here
07:47are horrifying.
07:48You've got to unionize to strike.
07:50Shut this place down
07:51until you give yourself the demands you desire.
07:54Buddha say material desire is poisonous.
07:57Then that union-busting tub of tard's
07:58gonna find a Buddha-piss-ass.
08:00They're treating you monks like monkeys!
08:02Well, I say let's hurl our feces at them
08:04until they see us as men.
08:06We are content to visualize world peace.
08:09We'll visualate their shameful-izing
08:11with a giant, inflatable union-rot.
08:14Now we march.
08:15No justice, no chance.
08:16No justice, no chance.
08:17Why aren't you chanting?
08:18We prefer the sacred silence.
08:21Oh, break them down with the silent treatment, eh?
08:23So devilish, it's clevelish.
08:25I can hear it working on you already.
08:26You hear that silence?
08:27Can you take it?
08:28The crushing blow of that fiery silence
08:30as it explodes in your ear with silence!
08:34Okay, we surrender.
08:36If you get off your flag.
08:37Surely, indulging in some small luxury
08:40will not lead to an infection of greed.
08:44You've gotten lazy and non-productive!
08:46You've taken American's job!
08:48How can we chant and eat at the same time?
08:50Let the machinge do it.
08:52Machinge?
08:52We may divide you later 2,000.
08:54It does the grunt work of 3,000 monks.
08:57Then why didn't we call it the 4,000?
08:59No man knows.
09:01What operating system she run in?
09:02DOS X Machina?
09:04Which one of you chinkanos came to my machinge?
09:07It's an earthquake!
09:09A soul shake!
09:10Oh mon dieu!
09:11Le Grand Canyon s'est fermé!
09:13Ferme tes jambes, maman!
09:15Merci de fermer tes jambes, maman.
09:16Comment dirais-tu ça, Miss Tremor?
09:19Bills?
09:22Open wide.
09:22Time to take out the litter.
09:24Relieve your mess.
09:26You've woken the yellow dragon!
09:28I've got to act now!
09:29This is the 9-11 of noise!
09:31Chernobyl of chanting!
09:32Hiroshima of humping!
09:33The Nagasaki of no kid!
09:35The Dachau of ouch-witches!
09:38Wait, I'm the 3-mile island of going 3 miles off massage.
09:42And we're worse.
09:43This is edge.
09:44Get the ass, get it out of it!
09:51I told you I'd make you vibe together.
09:53Leave us alone, you freak!
09:55You can't call me freak!
09:57What are you going to do?
09:58Tell your mommy?
09:59Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
10:02Mommy! Mommy!
10:03I have to tell you something.
10:05This wonderful family, they...
10:07Oh mon dieu, c'est juste sa viande.
10:09Ça veut dire qu'elle est encore vivante.
10:11Je vais chercher loin et loin,
10:14pour que je puisse m'occuper de ma mère.