• l’année dernière
Transcription
00:00What ? Oh !
00:02Money ! Money ! Money !
00:04They found the college fund.
00:06Hmm...
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05:14Boy, am I glad I don't have any college bound puppies
05:18That I know of
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05:30What? What's wrong? Where's my remote?
05:32Here
05:34Shouldn't you see someone about your dependency on that?
05:36What's wrong?
05:38What if we can't send our children to college?
05:40Look, we'll send them to college, don't worry
05:42I can't help worrying
05:44Don't liz me Joe, I hate being lized
05:46This isn't just about college
05:48It's not?
05:50No, it's about braces, and camp, and expensive jeans
05:52And whatever else their friends have
05:54They're not babies anymore, they're growing up Joe
05:56And we've got to be ready for it
05:58Who knows, there could be a depression
06:00I'm experiencing one right now
06:02We've got to start saving now or we'll never catch up
06:04We'll put away a little every month until we have enough to invest
06:06Look Liz, 30% of our monthly income goes to the mortgage
06:0850% for insurance
06:10Utilities and the cars
06:12And 40% for clothing, doctor bills, you know, etc
06:14And the rest, well, let's just say
06:16There's too much month left over after our money
06:18Well I'm going to start cutting back right now
06:20You know it's the little things that make a difference
06:22Where are you going?
06:24To turn the bathroom light off
06:26Leaving the light on all night costs money
06:28But I won't be able to fall asleep
06:30Liz, don't you think you're overreacting?
06:32No
06:34But I've had the bathroom light on since I was a baby
06:36No
06:38But I've had the bathroom light on since I was a baby
06:40Now who's overreacting?
06:42Go to sleep
06:44Not before you tell me a story
06:46Anyone who has to sleep with the light on
06:48Shows a serious lack of dedication to the leisure arts
06:58Okay, so we save $12 by losing the movie and sport package on cable
07:00We cancel all the sport magazines
07:02And your membership to the fitness club
07:04You can just not work out at home
07:06No, how come I seem to be losing all my perks?
07:08Because you spend more than I do
07:10I do not
07:12Let me see that
07:14Look, $65 on anti-wrinkle cream
07:16I have a job
07:18I have a job
07:20Yes, but you're a writer, nobody cares what you look like
07:22How come we spend so much money on gas?
07:24Well that's because the kids miss the bus every morning
07:26And I end up having to drive them
07:28We're no longer parents, we're staff
07:30Starting tomorrow, you'll just have to get the bus
07:32Or else walk to school
07:34What? We have to catch the bus
07:36And go to school on the same day?
07:38Mom!
07:40Look, we're just trying to cut back a little
07:42So we can put some money aside for important things
07:44Like college?
07:46Yes, well that and other things too
07:48I knew you and dad didn't have enough
07:50Safe for all of us
07:52They're on to us
07:54We've got to try harder to cut back
07:56I don't know where we can cut back
07:58I do
08:00But why can't we run a video?
08:02This is so much fun, you'll see
08:04Hey, hey
08:06Oops, what the?
08:10It's got no flavor, no bubbles, no color
08:12It's called water
08:14Come on mom
08:16Turn the heat back on
08:18You want to go to college or you want to stay warm?
08:22I thought so
08:26Ew, this isn't pizza
08:28It's toast with tomato ketchup on it
08:30I'm working with what I have
08:34Why do I get the feeling this budgeting thing isn't working?
08:38You're leaving me?
08:40I knew it was just a matter of time
08:42And who can blame you?
08:44I mean, I've tried to be a good provider
08:46But I know you could have married a lawyer or a doctor
08:48Joe, I'm not leaving you
08:50Oh, you're not?
08:52No, I've decided to have a garage sale this weekend
08:54I hate garage sales
08:56Because you hate getting rid of anything
08:58They say getting rid of stuff can be emotionally cleansing
09:00And good for the soul
09:02Sure, it's not their stuff
09:04The Tuckers made $5,500 on a garage sale last weekend
09:06Yeah, the open bar and the roulette table had a lot to do with that
09:10Can't you think of anything in our life that you'd like to get rid of?
09:14Your mother
09:16That's not funny
09:18Though she thought a garage sale was a good idea
09:20So she's coming by to sell some of the things she never uses
09:22Like her immune system?
09:24Joe, this is our children's future here
09:26Now come on, a garage sale can be fun
09:28Can't it?
09:30Ladies, tired of unnecessary cellulite?
09:32Perform liposuction in the comfort of your own home
09:34With a state-of-the-art Fat No More 1000
09:36$40
09:38Sold!
09:40Tired of waiting your whole life for medical results?
09:42Then you'll need the I'll Show You I'm Sick Medical Laboratory
09:44You supply the bodily fluids
09:46And the lab does the rest
09:48Check your cholesterol, kidney and liver functions
09:50Comes complete with this lovely pleather carrying case
09:52And a waiver of liability in case you can't find a vein
09:54All for just $165
09:56I'll take it! Sold!
09:58How come they're all buying all of Gaga's old things and not ours?
10:00I don't know, but you have to hand it to her
10:02Never
10:04Mom, this was my favorite dress!
10:06I don't want you to sell it!
10:08Oh, Tracy, that dress is five years old
10:10Yeah, she never took that one off for a year, remember?
10:14Yes, I washed it every day for a year, remember?
10:16Okay, you win, take it back inside
10:20Mom, this is my very first Halloween costume
10:22Honey, wouldn't you like some other little girl
10:24To get to trick-or-treat on Halloween as a baby dinosaur?
10:26No
10:28Okay, take it back inside
10:30Hey, this is my autographed photo of the Lakers
10:32You can't sell this
10:34It'll be worth a fortune
10:36You got this for me on my birthday
10:38I have a confession to make
10:40I signed it
10:42What?
10:44I signed it
10:46I figured you'd never know the difference
10:48And you didn't, until I just told you
10:50I'm not going to make any money
10:52If you and the kids keep taking everything back into the house
10:54Hey, what's this doing here?
10:56I found it in the basement
10:58Are you serious?
11:00This album will be worth a fortune one day
11:02Do you know how unique this is?
11:06Heartless
11:08Just heartless
11:10Well?
11:12Well, after we took most of our stuff back inside
11:14We did manage to sell the house
11:16Unfurnished
11:18For $200
11:20Ha ha ha
11:22What's the final total?
11:24Well, your mother made enough money to buy herself that new MRI machine she's had her eye on
11:26We made $24
11:28And how much money did we manage to save this month?
11:30After all our cutbacks?
11:32Roughly
11:34About $50
11:36Ugh
11:38We'll just have to tighten our belts even more
11:40I think I sold my belt
11:42Or maybe I could ask Gordon for a raise
11:44You think Gordon will give you a raise?
11:46I deserve a raise
11:48Look at the long hours I put in, how often I take work home
11:50Well, that's good
11:52But maybe you should make a bid for his sympathy
11:54You know, appeal to his human side
11:56Does he have a human side?
11:58Well, everybody has a human side
12:00But I'm not here for me
12:02Not because I've been an important part of the growth of this company
12:04No, no
12:06I'm here because of my three innocent children
12:08Who looked at me with pleading eyes
12:10And asked
12:12Are we going to college?
12:20No
12:22What?
12:24No, no raise
12:26Nice try though, very entertaining
12:32He said no
12:34We're just going to have to tell our children that they can't go to college
12:36No, we won't
12:38Because I'm going to get a job
12:40Yeah, I know, I know, and a darn good one
12:42No, I mean a regular 9 to 5 job
12:44Are you sure?
12:46Well, we need the extra money, right?
12:48Right, but where are you going to get a regular job?
12:50Well, I don't know
12:52I've never had a regular job before
12:54Hey, I know, I'll apply to snack food
12:56Where I work?
12:58Um, I don't, I don't know
13:00You can set it up with Gordon, right?
13:02Oh, I'm so excited
13:04I feel like tomorrow is the first day of school
13:06Sure
13:08I'm going to get a real job
13:12No
13:14I'm here because of my three innocent children
13:16Who looked at me with pleading eyes
13:18And asked
13:20Daddy, are we going to college?
13:22Sorry, but I hate reruns
13:26Hey, you didn't stop by my office on your way out
13:28I guess it didn't go all that well with Gordon
13:30I'll take that as a yes
13:32Liz, I'm a flop
13:34In the get a real job
13:36In the real world department
13:38But you're a success in so many other departments
13:40Name one
13:42Oh, honey, you're a terrific husband
13:44And a great caring dad
13:46And...
13:48Tell that to yourself when the kids graduate from high school
13:50And end up living at home for the rest of their lives
13:52Instead of going to college
13:54College is a long way off
13:56Besides, you're the one who's always telling me to don't worry, be happy
13:58Yeah, well, don't worry
14:00Be blissfully ignorant of impending doom
14:02See?
14:04Only a brilliant writer could come up with that
14:06You think?
14:08I know
14:10You can't worry if you're unconscious
14:14Joe!
14:16Good to hear from you
14:18Everything okay at home?
14:20Two Hawaiian, that's two elevens with extra fourteen
14:22What's with the numbers?
14:24Oh, I'm trying a new system
14:26I want to make some improvements
14:28Well, so do I
14:30I'm looking for someone to help out around here
14:32I don't suppose you'd be interested?
14:34Just part-time, of course
14:36Me? Delivering pizza?
14:38Sure, you could start off helping me here
14:40You can be my executive assistant
14:42Well, I do know pizza
14:44Exactly
14:46I have plans to expand someday
14:48Maybe you could help me with that, too
14:50Well, maybe I could
14:52Okay, I'll do it
14:54That's great
14:56Just do me a favor, don't tell Liz
15:00Joe, give me a number six with seven and ten on top
15:02A five with three and nine
15:04A two with eight only
15:06And a one with five
15:08Hold the cheese
15:10You got it
15:12Six with nine and five
15:14Two with seven only
15:16Five with seven and ten
15:18And one with six
15:20And hold the cheese, right?
15:22Not exactly
15:24Gary, what's taking so long?
15:26Right away
15:29Hey, doesn't a cheese pizza come with cheese?
15:32Good point
15:36Delivering pizza is a very important part of the business, too
15:39I'm up for the challenge
15:41Now, you know where you're going
15:43I'll be back before you know it
15:52This place looks familiar
15:55738, West Flamingo Boulevard, Apartment 1411
15:59Why is that familiar?
16:04Wong's Pizza
16:06Francis!
16:08You're delivering pizzas?
16:10Well, that's right, yes
16:12Well, well, well, so it's come to this
16:14My daughter married to a pizza delivery guy
16:16Liz doesn't know
16:18What happened to your big-time writing career?
16:20Look, this is just part-time to earn extra cash
16:23We need to send the kids to college
16:25What do they do all of a sudden, skip?
16:27No, no, no, no, Liz and I realized
16:29That we haven't been putting any money away for their college fund
16:32Well, if you ask me, it's about time you started taking some responsibility
16:36Half a number 17, hold the anchovies
16:38That'll be 15.75
16:40Will you take a check?
16:42If I have to
16:46Remember, don't tell Liz
16:48Would a mother break her daughter's heart?
16:50Yes, repeatedly
16:52I included your tip
16:54Great, yeah, thanks
17:00Joe, where have you been?
17:02And what is that red stuff all over your clothes?
17:04Uh, nothing
17:06Joe!
17:07All right, it's tomato sauce
17:09I've been working at Gary's part-time
17:11To earn extra money for the college fund
17:13Joe, I can't believe you did that
17:15Well, I didn't want to tell you because I
17:17I knew you'd be ashamed of me
17:19But I'm not ashamed of you
17:21I am so proud of you
17:23You are?
17:24Of course
17:25I think it's the bravest thing you've ever done
17:27Why don't you go clean up
17:29And then I'll show you just how proud I am
17:32Tonight I had the good fortune
17:35To deliver pizza to your mother
17:37She gave me a tip
17:41A really big tip
17:50I never thought I'd hear you say that
17:53Uh, Frances, it's Joe
17:55Uh, Joe, your son-in-law
17:57Yes, your very grateful son-in-law
18:00Well, it's about time
18:02Hold on, I'm gonna put you on speaker
18:04Oh, Mom, thank you so much
18:06Why didn't you tell me you didn't have enough money
18:08To send my grandchildren to college?
18:10Well, it wasn't your problem
18:11Of course it's my problem
18:13Anything to do with those little sweethearts is my problem
18:15I called the clinic and passed on the freezing
18:17But why?
18:18I don't want to come back to a world
18:19Where my grandchildren are delivering pizza
18:21Because they didn't go to college
18:22Hey, I went to college
18:24That's why you should stick to the writing
18:26And leave the pizza delivery business
18:27To people who are good at it
18:30Are you trying to kill me?
18:31There's anchovies in here
18:32But, Ma, how can we ever thank you?
18:35Don't worry, I'll think of a way
18:37Oh, I gotta go
18:38These anchovies are giving me gas
18:42Joe, suddenly I feel all weak in the knees
18:45Honey, what's wrong?
18:46I'm not sure I can deal with a world
18:48Where my mother is so good to us
18:50Well, it's okay
18:51She's just going through a phase
18:53Kids, some great news
18:55What?
18:56Thanks to Gaga
18:57Your college fund is in good shape
18:59Zola and I don't want to go to college anymore
19:01We want to start a band
19:03I'm going to count to three
19:05And we're going
19:08Nicholas, go to college
19:10Someday, Nicholas, someday
19:12So you think Mom is going to make us pay for this somehow?
19:14You can count on it
19:15Ma mère était un saint
19:17Bernard
19:18Non, vraiment
19:20Qu'est-ce qui est si drôle? C'est vrai
19:30Voici quelques idées pour ajouter à l'argent du collège
19:36Vous voulez que les enfants vendent...
19:37Personne n'a besoin de plus d'un cerveau
19:39Très bien
19:40Maintenant, je dois dormir avec les yeux ouverts
19:45Sous-titrage MFP.
20:15Sous-titrage MFP.