Taskmaster UK S18E06
Category
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TV ve DiziDöküm
00:00Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
00:09www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
00:16Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
00:24Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
00:31www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
00:54Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
01:03www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
01:24Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
01:33www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
01:54Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
02:01www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
02:24Bu dizinin betimlemesi Maya Film tarafından Sesli Betimleme Derneği'ne yaptırılmıştır.
02:31www.seslibetimlemedernegi.com
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03:52Bu benim ve benim kız arkadaşım.
03:56Arkadaşlarımla tanıştık.
03:58Ve bu onun için.
03:59Ve biz de eğleniyorduk.
04:01Diyor ki...
04:02Her gün, her gün...
04:03...kendini büyüyün.
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05:19It's very good, Jack.
05:21Emma, what have you put in Alex's pocket?
05:24OK.
05:25Top right arm pocket.
05:28There it is.
05:29Ooh!
05:30This is a QR code.
05:31I love them.
05:32Fine.
05:33If you were to scan this QR code,
05:35you get two tickets to see Bon Jovi tribute band Rong Jovi
05:39play on the 19th of October in Basildon.
05:43Are you serious?
05:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:47These guys rock, all right?
05:50I've seen them three times, if you include my wedding.
05:54I've got an e-ticket, sorry.
05:56Yeah, yeah.
05:57It worked.
05:58It's not Alex's going, it's the person who wins.
06:01Yeah.
06:02So it could be one of you guys.
06:04There's two tickets.
06:05Yeah, you can come as well, yeah.
06:07Maybe they're on my iPad.
06:09And it means tonight...
06:11I mean, I think it does sound fun,
06:13but I don't think anyone else in the room does.
06:16Rosie Jones, what have you brought in and put in Alex's pocket?
06:29It was an ice cube, but this has taken quite a while,
06:32so it's now quite a few ice cubes.
06:34My leg's quite wet.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:46It's multiple layer bullying.
06:49Yeah.
06:50And you'll get nothing but praise from me.
06:55Here's my thinking.
06:56Ice, fart machine, very funny, quite route one.
07:08She's right, they're classics,
07:10but I'm going to give them three points each.
07:12I'm taking a bet on... Wrong Jovi.
07:14Because they might be dog shit.
07:17And honestly, if they are shit,
07:19I still think whoever goes will find that funny.
07:21But I'm going to match that,
07:23because I've really found it fun you bigging yourself up.
07:26And I don't think you do big yourself up enough.
07:28Really?
07:29You know why?
07:30Because I think you're a penis.
07:34I'm going to give that four points.
07:36And the truth is, I had the most fun
07:38watching you drink Andy's elixir.
07:40I don't even know what's in it,
07:42but that's what gets the five points.
07:44Four to Baba and Emma, five to Andy's Osborne.
07:46There you go.
07:49Right, let's get stuck in and on with the task.
07:52Oh, you don't beat around the bush, do you, Greg?
07:54Blimey, calm down.
07:55First up, then, a spot of...
07:59..indoor train track fishing.
08:03MUSIC PLAYS
08:10MUSIC STOPS
08:20Emma? Hello.
08:24Oh, my gosh!
08:26Just want to hop over and get that.
08:33There we go.
08:35That would do it. I could probably reach that.
08:40Must be a quicker way.
08:42There would have been if you just put it on the table.
08:44That would have been quicker.
08:46Right.
08:47Put one fish in the frying pan.
08:51Dottiest fish wins.
08:56What's a dotty fish?
09:01Your task ends when you put a fish in the frying pan.
09:04You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
09:08Dottiest fish.
09:09That's what he wants.
09:10Loves his dotty fish.
09:12I apologise, cos I...
09:14I thought that that was just a device for this thing,
09:17and there's more to it.
09:27I will never tire of Jack's boredom of this.
09:32Why does this suddenly have to be difficult?
09:35I just want to get stuck into it. That's what I want.
09:37OK, we're going to start with two people who each have two vowels and two consonants,
09:40but no dots yet. It's Baba and Emma.
09:43Here we go.
09:45All right, time to go fishing.
09:49Swing, Baba. Swing.
09:52Yeah, go. Get in.
09:55You caught a fish.
09:57Yeah, I have.
09:59But the thing is...
10:00No! No! No!
10:08Dottiest. Dottiest fish. Dottiest fish.
10:14That's a bin.
10:19Come here. Come on. That's right.
10:21Oh, no!
10:23Little punk.
10:26Your mum.
10:31Come on, bro.
10:32Come here.
10:33Three.
10:35Dottiest fish.
10:36Mm-hm.
10:37Do you...
10:44That one's so dotty.
10:47Oh, well, that's the end of the task.
10:49Oh, I'm gutted.
10:50There could be one down there that's even dottier.
10:53Yeah.
10:57All right.
10:59Oh.
11:00Baba, your technique.
11:02Careful.
11:03Yes!
11:04Oh, my days! Yes!
11:05Look at me. I am the man.
11:07I am the man.
11:08I am the friggin' man!
11:09Look at that, bro!
11:10Look at that!
11:12Pow!
11:13In your face.
11:14I dare anyone to find a fish with more dots than me.
11:23Quite contrasting styles there.
11:25I don't know anyone who could bring that sort of energy
11:28to fishing for dotty fish.
11:32Look, man, sometimes when you win,
11:34you've just got to yell,
11:35brap, you know what I'm saying?
11:37You've got to big up yourself.
11:38All day, every day.
11:39Exactly. Big up yourself. Do it again.
11:41Big up yourself!
11:42Yes!
11:44Quite a contrast with you.
11:45You spent a lot of the time debating what dotty meant,
11:49and then when you found a dotty fish under the pan,
11:51your instinct was to pop it in the pan like a 1950s TV cook.
11:56I was furious at myself.
11:58It was an instinct cos it was fastest, right?
12:01No, it was not fastest.
12:02It was most dots.
12:05You have 15 minutes.
12:06So Baba got 30 dots on his fish,
12:08Emma got...
12:09ten.
12:12Break time now.
12:13Go.
12:14Come back soon.
12:15It's simple.
12:16Bye.
12:22APPLAUSE
12:26Hello!
12:27Join us for the start of part two
12:29and the continuation of a fishing task.
12:31A dotty fishing task, Greg.
12:33Come on, man.
12:34They can place one fish in the pan
12:36and the fish with the most dots will gain the most points.
12:39Next up, it's Andy and Rosie.
12:42Down.
12:43It's quite impressive technology, this, Alex.
12:45Just voice activated.
12:46Yeah, that's all it is.
12:47Right.
12:48Down, down.
12:50Keep going down, mate.
13:02Three minutes gone.
13:05Cos I'm also an independent lady.
13:17How dotty is it?
13:18Well, it's not dotty at all.
13:26Is there a pen?
13:27Is that a pen down there?
13:28There's something else on the track next to the fish.
13:38Are you going to remove that dot?
13:40Yeah.
13:41I see.
13:42Right.
13:43We're going to try and get whatever that red thing is down there.
13:46Oh, look at that.
13:48This is one of the most intrepid rescue missions
13:50I've ever been involved in.
13:52You've got four dots on your fish.
13:53You've got four minutes.
14:00OK.
14:01What have you caught?
14:02Pen.
14:03Oh.
14:04That could be quite useful.
14:05Right.
14:10That fish had how many dots?
14:11Three.
14:12Right.
14:16Six.
14:18Seven.
14:20You've got 20 seconds.
14:24You've put a fish in the frying pan.
14:28Task over.
14:29Congratulations.
14:32I reckon a bit of white wine sauce.
14:33Lovely.
14:41I mean, obviously, very effective over there.
14:43Yes.
14:44You must be thrilled, Andy.
14:45Well, I spent 20 years as a commercial fisherman.
14:51And also...
14:52Christ, I almost believed you.
14:56Look at me! Look at me!
14:58I've never done anything practical in my life!
15:02I spent half the time looking in them fucking useless bags.
15:14But you know who's to blame for that, don't you?
15:15Him!
15:16Him! Of course.
15:18So, Rosie managed to get a total of seven dots.
15:20Andy, 657.
15:22Because they were on both sides,
15:24they were also on the rim of the fish.
15:27You dotted the rim?
15:29A man's a professional.
15:31Who's next?
15:32Finally, here's a quick film about Jack having a great time.
15:38OK, so I'm lifting this round.
15:41Lower it down, please.
15:42Yes.
15:44Keep going.
15:52Are any of these things magnetic?
15:54It said so on the packet.
15:59OK, lift it up, please.
16:01Bring it up a little bit.
16:02Up and down.
16:03Stop, stop.
16:04No, stop.
16:07No.
16:08Up, down.
16:09Stop.
16:10Forward a bit.
16:11Stop.
16:13Down.
16:14Down.
16:15Up, please.
16:16I see what you're trying to do.
16:17Yeah, what?
16:18Yeah, I'm trying to get a fish in the frying pan.
16:23Yeah.
16:24Down a bit.
16:25OK, try bringing that up.
16:26Up it comes, Jack.
16:27Yeah.
16:29Keep going.
16:31Right, bring it back.
16:36Bring it down.
16:37So the task ends when the fish goes in the pan.
16:41The task is over.
16:44How dotty is your fish, Jack?
16:50One dot.
16:51One dot?
16:55What a waste of time.
16:58APPLAUSE
17:01I mean, as you know, Jack, I try not to make ageist remarks.
17:05I just wrote down a generic summary of my view of the attempt,
17:09and it's this.
17:10Do you think it's time we got granddad some special cutlery?
17:18If the challenge had been the fewest dots...
17:21Oh, yeah.
17:22..you'd be looking at a champ.
17:23You're the people's champion.
17:25He still had eight minutes to go at that point.
17:27LAUGHTER
17:28If he'd wanted to carry on.
17:30Points-wise, one point to Jack, it's two to Rosie with a seven.
17:33Emma, three points.
17:34Baba, four points with 30 dots.
17:36Andy, your six, five, seven dots transfers into five points.
17:39And his ultimate, everyone, well done.
17:41APPLAUSE
17:44Can I see a scoreboard, please?
17:46Jack is at the bottom of the leaderboard, but at the top,
17:49it's Andy's ultimate with a full ten points.
17:51Wow.
17:52APPLAUSE
17:55Have you got something good lined up for me, Alex?
17:57Always, Greg.
17:58And this one has doubled our cast
18:00with a whole host of wonderful new characters.
18:23Well played.
18:24Thanks very much.
18:25Thanks.
18:27Good luck with it.
18:28Thank you.
18:29I shall do my best.
18:32You know me.
18:42Who the hell is Alex?
18:44Oh!
18:45I thought you meant, like, a character, like a cartoon character.
18:49Sorry.
18:50LAUGHTER
18:52You have 30 minutes.
19:10Do you?
19:11That's enough, that's enough.
19:17Have you handled puppets much?
19:22I've...
19:24I've not...
19:26I've not done one.
19:30So it's a no?
19:31It's a no, yeah.
19:32It'll take a while to come out.
19:34Yeah.
19:35OK.
19:37I'll be back on that, then.
19:39Right, OK, then.
19:41Was it just me that was thinking that Jack
19:43was possibly leaving the show at that point?
19:47It was just one of those days when you didn't want to do anything
19:50and that's not a good approach to taskmaster.
19:55Baba provided me with one of my favourite moments this series
19:58with the genuine question, who the hell is Alex?
20:02Rosie?
20:03Yeah?
20:04Who the hell is Alex?
20:05Who the hell is Alex?
20:06Who the hell is Alex?
20:07Who the hell is Alex?
20:09Rosie, you used it as an opportunity
20:12to shamelessly plug your side hustle, I see.
20:15Yeah, erm...
20:17No, no.
20:20We don't do it now.
20:22If anyone's going to plug their side hustle on this show,
20:25it's going to be this guy.
20:27Only fans.
20:30All thongs, no hair.
20:35Genuinely don't know where that came from.
20:39Well, it's time to meet our first charismatic puppet
20:41from the mind and voice of Jack D.
21:09Our best friend.
21:11Horny is my best friend.
21:14Now, you have to come up with a word beginning with C
21:19that describes me.
21:25Oh, I know.
21:27Charismatic.
21:29Charismatic.
21:31That's me.
21:32Well, that's all we've got time for, Horny.
21:36No fans.
21:38OK, goodbye.
21:48Horsey was quite charismatic.
21:50In the end, yeah, it turned out to be, yeah.
21:52And it turns out your equine American counterpart
21:56is quite full of life and energetic.
21:58Yeah, it's funny that, cos I was having a lie down, you see.
22:02But credit also to Alex,
22:04he got into the character of a twat.
22:09You didn't like even alluding to the C word, did you?
22:12I was thinking it, but I wouldn't say it.
22:14I don't think you ever have said it, actually,
22:16which I find fascinating.
22:17Well, I will also advise...
22:19Say it.
22:21We're all adults here.
22:22It's going round and round up here.
22:24Whisper it to me.
22:26Whisper it to me, and then I'll let us move on.
22:29Say the words.
22:31That tone was very...
22:41Right, who's next?
22:42Right, well, next up, it's Andy and his creation, Pidgeyore.
22:47Hello, children, and welcome to The Horny Hour with me, Alex Horne.
22:52We're meeting my new friend today.
22:54Why don't you introduce yourself to the children?
22:57Hello, children.
22:58I am Pidgeyore, the Merciless One.
23:01From my beak of bleakness
23:03flows a bitter cascade of eternal despair.
23:07OK, can you try to lighten it up a bit for the kids, please, Pidgeyore?
23:11Go fuck yourself, Alex Horne.
23:13I don't like children.
23:15They often grow up to be adults
23:17who are mostly awful.
23:19Don't offence, Alex.
23:20Well, it's some offence.
23:22It is a kids' TV show, so can you do something the kids might like?
23:25I can do my Pidgey song.
23:27Ooh, good idea, Pidgeyore.
23:29And what's your song called?
23:30You Can't Eat An Ice Cream When You're Burning In Hell.
23:33OK, let's not do the song.
23:34I wanna do my song.
23:35You cannot do the song.
23:36Then, uh, let's say, Daniyavich, I will peck you to death.
23:41Clear the area.
23:44Can you please come a bit closer for your fatal pecking?
23:51That's what I'm talking about.
23:52Ow.
23:54You're good enough.
23:55Ow. OK, bye-bye, children.
23:57See you next time on The Horny Hour.
24:05Very disturbing.
24:06I mean, who hurt you, Andy?
24:09You've just got to go with your first instinct on this show.
24:12Yeah, and he's got some lovely catchphrases for the kids, doesn't he?
24:15You can't eat an ice cream when you're burning in hell.
24:19Well, that's just physics.
24:22I mean, can I say that's a charismatic children's character?
24:26Do I want the satanic pigeon pecking my head off?
24:29Children don't know what's best for them, though, do they? Generally.
24:33What's wrong with you?
24:36Absolutely terrifying, Andy. Quite a creation.
24:38Who's next?
24:39Yes, now it's time for Emma and her cheeky little banana boy.
24:43Oh, God.
24:45Hey, kids.
24:46Hi, everybody.
24:48My name's little cheeky banana boy
24:50and this is my sidekick, Alex Horne.
24:52Hi, I'm Alex Horne.
24:54And we're here to tell you guys to eat your bananas.
24:58Banana, banana, banana's for me.
25:01Potassium, fibre and a bit of vitamin C.
25:07That was really good.
25:08You too.
25:09Hi, Alex.
25:11I, er...
25:13I think I've developed feelings for you.
25:16Sort of want to...
25:17I don't know.
25:18Kiss you.
25:20OK.
25:22Alex.
25:24Eat me.
25:27Just one banana.
25:29I don't want to.
25:31I feel...
25:34...devastated.
25:37I'm...
25:38I'm going to die now.
25:40Right, OK.
25:45Pick up now.
25:47Pick up now.
25:48Cut.
25:49Great.
25:55It strikes me that it was quite a wholesome and sweet character.
25:59Yeah.
26:00It's sort of...
26:01The wheels came off for me when banana boy tried to get off with Alex.
26:04Yeah.
26:05I know, I really don't remember that either.
26:07This is a charismatic children's character.
26:10Yeah.
26:11OK, we've had a mutant pigeon
26:13and we've got a banana hybrid trying to get off with a man
26:16and then being so depressed that the man wouldn't get off with him
26:20that he spontaneously died.
26:23Yeah.
26:24I know.
26:25When it comes to making up children's characters,
26:28we really have tonally nailed it, haven't we?
26:32Right, let's stop and have a break.
26:34A break dance.
26:44APPLAUSE
26:48Hello, hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
26:51What's been going on, Alex?
26:53They've all been trying to create the most charismatic new children's puppet.
26:56Next, it's Babatunde and Man Like Tyrone.
27:02Oh, hello, boys and girls.
27:04Welcome to this world where you're never on your own
27:07because you're here with me, Alex.
27:09And me, Man Like Tyrone.
27:13So, what's today's lesson on?
27:15Today's lesson is about saying no to drugs.
27:19Oh, yes, drugs.
27:21Yo, Alex.
27:22Yes, Man Like Tyrone?
27:24Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall?
27:27Hmm, I don't know.
27:29Because he was a crackhead.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:34That kills me.
27:36Now, children, there's going to come a time in your life
27:39when you might want to get high
27:41and I'm here to tell you, don't do it.
27:43Hmm, yes, don't do it.
27:45You could lose everything.
27:47Everything?
27:49Yes, bro.
27:50What should they do instead?
27:52Sell it.
27:54What?
27:55Hell, yeah.
27:56You can make a lot more money selling instead of using.
27:59Remember what I always tell you, bro?
28:01Don't get high on your own supply.
28:04And that's all from me, Alex.
28:06And me, Man Like Tyrone.
28:08Bye, kids.
28:11APPLAUSE
28:18I mean, I'm going to have to essentially just forget about children,
28:22aren't I?
28:24Man Like Tyrone, quite the charmer, though.
28:26He was very charismatic.
28:28That's what we're basing this on, right?
28:30Is he a rat?
28:31He's an otter.
28:32He's an otter?
28:33Yeah.
28:34He was from Brixton.
28:36Oh, sorry, I didn't realise there was quite such a backstory.
28:39He was 34.
28:40Otter from the inner city.
28:4134, he's a Pisces.
28:42There's quite a lot of backstory.
28:44I mean, I did like it.
28:45I did like hanging out with him until he tried to sell drugs to kids.
28:49But I'm going to have to suspend the whole kids thing.
28:52I'm just going to have to choose the most charismatic, awful character.
28:57Well, brace yourselves.
29:00Here's Rosie Jones with her creation.
29:03Little Alex and Mr Pooh.
29:10Hello, Kiddy Winks. It's me, Little Alex,
29:13and my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Mr Pooh.
29:17Hello to you.
29:20I am Mr Pooh.
29:24Alex, can I ask you a question?
29:30Where did I come from?
29:33Well, I made you.
29:35You made me?
29:38Yes, Mr Pooh.
29:39I squeezed you out of my bum hole and I kept you.
29:43Because before you, I had no friends and I was lonely.
29:46Very, very lonely.
29:48But now I have you, Mr Pooh, who I love with all my heart.
29:52Oh, I love you.
29:56Kissy?
29:58Kissy?
30:00Kissy.
30:02OK.
30:03On my mouth.
30:05On your mouth?
30:06Yes.
30:13OK, we'll see you after the break, Mr Pooh.
30:17Oh, Alex.
30:27I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry, Rosie.
30:30You kissed a shit.
30:34But you wouldn't kiss Little Banana Boy.
30:37Exactly. Boy, Mr Pooh.
30:42When you said, where do I come from,
30:45I actually found myself going, oh, that's quite sweet.
30:48But it was when all the sticky brown stuff
30:52was on Alex's face that you lost me, charisma-wise.
30:57OK, look, it's most charismatic puppet wins.
30:59Yeah, all right. I found Banana Boy a bit depressive.
31:03Yeah. I could only give him one point.
31:05OK, where are we going from Banana Boy?
31:07It's between a talking shit and a murderous pigeon.
31:11A dance as old as time itself.
31:16That old chestnut again.
31:20Two for the Pooh, three for the murderous pigeon.
31:22Got it.
31:23If it was points for who do I want to hang out with
31:26and have a good time with, I'm not going out with the horse.
31:28Exactly. I'm coming to Brixton with the otter.
31:32Thank you very much.
31:33Four points to Jack, five points to Bella.
31:35There we go. Well done, Bella.
31:39Shall we have another task?
31:41I think we should.
31:42But please, let's proceed with extreme caution.
31:45ZIL SESİ
31:56Emma?
31:57Hiya.
31:58In you go.
31:59Oh, my God.
32:00What's going on, Alex?
32:02What's going on?
32:03Yeah.
32:04Just a robot.
32:05Yeah?
32:06Yeah.
32:07Right.
32:09Oh, that's a bit worrying.
32:16Defuse the robot.
32:18You must cut all the wires but one.
32:21If you cut the danger wire, the robot will spew
32:25and you will be disqualified.
32:27You must keep your goggles on at all times.
32:34Fastest to defuse the robot wins.
32:37You have a maximum of ten minutes. Your time starts now.
32:40Please press the red button.
32:41Here?
32:42Yep.
32:43Press it?
32:44I have to press the red button.
32:45Uh-huh.
32:48You're off.
32:49Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. OK.
32:52And if you've got any questions, I'm always here for you, Jack.
32:55OK, thank you.
32:56Which one is the danger wire?
33:06Let's get stuck into it.
33:07Yeah, so they had to cut all the wires but one,
33:09leaving just the danger wire.
33:11It was fastest to successfully do that wins.
33:14First to try and defuse the situation, it's Baba and Emma.
33:19How am I supposed to know which one it is?
33:21That's a good question.
33:22Which one are you going to cut?
33:24I don't know!
33:26But I'm a bit scared.
33:28Wait, what's around me?
33:30Wait, what's this?
33:32Oh!
33:33Ah!
33:35Wow!
33:36I didn't see any... OK, cool.
33:40No, it doesn't cut that.
33:43The safe list.
33:44What's all this?
33:46James, Dan...
33:48Were these people that have done it?
33:52Green, that's interesting, that's like Gordon.
33:55I don't really know about that.
33:56All right, I'll think about that.
33:57And then there's a dude here.
33:59HMS Danger, HMS Danger.
34:01Ah, blimey, I don't know what none of this means!
34:05What am I, a daze?
34:07I'm going to cut the green wire.
34:10Why?
34:11Because it says Gordon on the safe list.
34:13OK.
34:17The fan's spinning round at the back.
34:19He's not spewed.
34:20Brilliant.
34:21Why is there a bottle of wine?
34:26Might as well.
34:30Oh!
34:31It's awful.
34:34Red.
34:35Wine.
34:36So red is safe.
34:37OK.
34:38Because it's wine.
34:39Wait.
34:40Yellow ain't safe because yellow is not on the chart.
34:42But red is.
34:44Red, green and blue.
34:46All right, well...
34:48We'll cut blue.
34:52Why would I want to cut it?
34:53Dan.
34:54So there's three letters in Dan, so I'm going to do three wires down.
34:57One, two, three, Dan, let's cut blue.
35:00See how we go up?
35:01I'm trying to cut it.
35:10You've managed to only cut the danger wire.
35:14How much rubbish is that?
35:21Everything smooths once in a while, my guy.
35:23You know what I mean?
35:25So have I won?
35:33I think in military terms, you're both what's known as cannon fodder.
35:40I had no idea.
35:41None of the clues made sense to me.
35:43It was quite impressive after you've cut one wire
35:47and the robot's gone off and you're covered in stuff
35:51to look down the camera and say, have I won?
35:55I put it to you that throughout the task, neither of you understood it.
35:58I think I was just role-playing
36:01being a woman drinking wine, cutting wires.
36:05Does that make sense?
36:08LAUGHTER
36:11Well, it's now time for Andy and Rosie and Robot.
36:16OK, right, so, right, right.
36:19I've cut James.
36:21Charlie.
36:22Dan.
36:23Gordon.
36:24Darren.
36:25All browns.
36:28Brown!
36:30So I'm feeling that brown is safe.
36:32Cut the brown.
36:34You sure? Yes.
36:38He's made a mess, but he hasn't spewed.
36:41OK, so, bottle of Chateau Taskmaster.
36:48What, did you make this yourself?
36:5719165.
37:02That felt safe. I'm going to go red is safe.
37:04You think red is safe? OK.
37:06I think red is safe. I'm not saying red is nice.
37:08I'm saying red is safe.
37:10Yeah, his eyes have lit up. He's not spewed.
37:12Right.
37:24You're safe. Three minutes, 30 left.
37:26OK.
37:27Are there any more clues?
37:29Moon with a danger sign on it?
37:31Could mean blue?
37:33Blue is the danger... Is that a blue moon?
37:36What is that?
37:41Do you want me to get it for you?
37:42Come.
37:43Come!
37:45Ooh!
37:46Zero, zero, zero, zero.
37:53Kiwi, New Zealand.
37:56All black!
37:58Black?
37:59Yeah.
38:00That's me.
38:01Yeah, black is safe.
38:03Black is safe.
38:04Right, so you've got three minutes.
38:06And how many wires left?
38:07Two.
38:08Yellow or blue?
38:09Yeah, well, I think...
38:11Blue moon, I think the blue moon is the danger one.
38:13Yellow's going.
38:18You have succeeded in the task.
38:20Oh, I have?
38:21You have.
38:22Oh, right.
38:24Green.
38:26Green is safe.
38:28Green is safe.
38:31You've got 20 seconds to cut one more wire.
38:33Grey or blue?
38:36You've got ten seconds. It's going to go in ten seconds.
38:43Three seconds.
38:46Here we go.
38:54What's that wrong?
38:57It was right, but I was a bit slow with the cutters.
39:01So I would have done it if you had done your fucking job!
39:13Sorry, Rosie.
39:15You two must feel fairly ashamed.
39:17They were impressive logic-wise.
39:19Yeah.
39:20Saltzman, like a professional.
39:22Yeah.
39:23Well, I worked for 20 years in bomb disposal.
39:27Rosie, what was the quote?
39:29So I would have done it if you'd done your fucking job.
39:33Rosie, what was the quote?
39:35So I would have done it if you'd done your fucking job.
39:50That's me.
39:52I think Alex finds that fairly offensive, actually.
39:54Oh, yeah.
39:56OK, it's the end of part three.
39:58Today's prizes might be our worst yet,
40:00as the winner will have to take home things
40:02which have joined in moist, smelly tissues
40:04that were already in Alex's dirty little pocket.
40:16Hello! Here we are again to the last time this episode.
40:19Yes, totes babes.
40:21No.
40:24I will not have totes babes.
40:27But it says it on it.
40:28I won't have it.
40:31Contestants are in a spot of bother.
40:33There's a spewing robot which needs diffusing
40:35before it starts diffusing.
40:37To stop it, they've got to cut all but the danger wire.
40:40And so, at last, here is Jack to save the D.
40:46The safe list.
40:47James, Charlie, Dan, Deryn, Brown.
40:52Brown is safe. OK.
40:55Safe one. OK.
40:58There's a phone up there.
41:01Quite expensive. Yeah.
41:04Calling Taskmaster.
41:07Whatever you do, do not make the danger wire sound like my name.
41:14Red or grey or green.
41:16That's a pretty poor clue.
41:20So I think...
41:21Actually, maybe the danger wire should sound like my name.
41:25I'm a pretty dangerous guy after all.
41:27No, he's saying it should sound like his name.
41:29Oh, right.
41:30That's just a new level of unhelpful.
41:34How long have you got left on the clock?
41:36A minute and 32 seconds or something.
41:38Right. There's not a lot of urgency, Jack.
41:40That I don't understand.
41:41Yellow, I suppose. It's pure yellow.
41:43Yellow is safe, I'm going to say.
41:47Taskmaster.
41:48Does that mean red is safe?
41:49How long have we got left?
41:5157 seconds.
41:52Right, OK.
41:53It wouldn't be exciting if you didn't take it down to the line.
41:57This has got written danger on it.
42:00Blue.
42:01So I'm going to say blue is the danger one.
42:03OK.
42:04I'm going to go for it.
42:05Green.
42:06Now the red one.
42:08Now the grey one.
42:13That's it. Finished.
42:14You've defused the robot, Jack.
42:16Thank you.
42:17I hope none of the others get it.
42:19I hope none of the others get it.
42:31It's just like watching a professional robot defuser in action.
42:34It really was. It really was.
42:35He was very frustrated by the phone calls, but, yeah, he spotted the blue.
42:38There was a blue light on the top. Everything in danger was blue, so...
42:41Yeah, it was pretty straightforward.
42:45He was not as quick as Andy.
42:46We know Andy was the quickest.
42:47Jack was the second quickest.
42:48Did it with a few seconds left to spare.
42:51Rosie didn't do it, of course.
42:53Yes, and that's what we've got to clear up now, isn't it?
42:56Do we allow Rosie to get some points from this?
42:59I will say she did crack the code and with about eight seconds left.
43:03So it's whether or not it's possible to cut a wire in eight seconds.
43:06I don't think it is.
43:08Fortunately for you, Alex has no authority here.
43:12And I say it was his incompetence that caused you to lose,
43:15but you just about made it in time.
43:17It's my final judgement.
43:18She gets three points for coming third?
43:20Yes. Stop hating people with disability.
43:26That's right, that's right.
43:27OK, three points for Rosie, four for Jack, five for Andy Milford.
43:34OK, everyone, for a change,
43:37please stay in your chairs for the final task of the show.
43:41Ooh!
43:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:51Rotate the Human.
44:00What a mystery.
44:02Who's reading the task?
44:04Jack D, please. OK.
44:06Correctly guess this person's job.
44:09You must ask a yes or no question on your turn.
44:13If you take more than ten seconds to ask your question, you miss a go.
44:17The person who guesses correctly wins five points.
44:21Whoa!
44:22So it's all or nothing in this one.
44:24Ready, Greg?
44:25Ready!
44:26Andy.
44:28Erm, have you...
44:31..er, drawn blood at work?
44:35Yes.
44:37Do you chase people?
44:40No.
44:42We'll come back to ask about that afterwards.
44:45Do you work in medicine?
44:47Yes.
44:48Are you a surgeon?
44:50Yes.
44:51You need to be more specific, and that is your question, Jack.
44:54Yes.
44:55Are you a brain surgeon?
44:58No.
44:59Are you a veterinary surgeon?
45:02No.
45:03Heart surgeon?
45:05No.
45:06A little clue, the job title doesn't involve the word surgeon.
45:10Do you do lots of different things in your job every day?
45:13Yes.
45:19Very pleased with that one, weren't you?
45:21Are you a GP?
45:23No.
45:24Do you work with other humans?
45:30Yes.
45:32That narrows it down for us.
45:35Are you an anaesthetist?
45:38No.
45:39Are you sat down throughout your shift?
45:42No.
45:43Are you an obstetrician?
45:45No.
45:46Ooh!
45:49Are you a gynaecologist?
45:51Yes.
45:52We have a winner!
45:54Oh, God!
45:58Thank you to our guest, Quentin.
46:00Quentin, ladies and gentlemen.
46:03Let's reset the stage and find out the final scores!
46:11That has surely put the gynaecological cat amongst the pigeons.
46:17I mean, it has in a way.
46:19Jack has ended up on 17 points and is in second place,
46:22but the winner with 18 points is Andy Zaltzman!
46:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:28Andy Zaltzman wins!
46:32Please don't pocket your things from our pockets!
46:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE