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Taskmaster AU S03E02

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Transcript
00:00oh
00:27Is this good television?
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:41I may be Tom Gleeson by day, but by night, across ten weeks of the calendar year, I take
00:46on another title.
00:48A title that, in a single word, may answer some of humanity's deepest questions, like
00:53why do we exist, for whom do we toil, and why have I found myself watching commercial
00:59television again?
01:02That three-syllable title is, of course, The Taskmaster.
01:09This season, our five comedians are Aaron Chen, Conchetta Caristo, Hal Buddle, Peter
01:18Hellyer, and Rhys Nicholson.
01:23And finally, the other one sitting here, he has a presence that gives me chills even before
01:29he enters the room, and crows always squawk at him.
01:32It's my assistant, Tom Cashman.
01:39How are you, weirdo?
01:40Oh, I'm okay.
01:41I've been privy to some celebrity gossip recently.
01:46Oh.
01:47Okay.
01:48I know how Rebel Wilson got her name.
01:50Her last name was named after the volleyball in Cast Away.
01:55And her first name, that's from the shop where the volleyball was purchased.
02:03So in your act, is that material?
02:06Look, I'll be honest, I have done it on stage before.
02:09I had a feeling, don't drag your old shit in here again.
02:17Alright, what's up first?
02:18Well, our first task is a prize task.
02:19Each contestant has brought in a prize, and the winner of tonight's episode will take
02:23home all five prizes.
02:24Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the cheekiest
02:28thing in a box.
02:31Cheeky Rhys, what have you brought in?
02:32I've brought a few kilos of premium beef cheek.
02:39Okay, very literal definition there.
02:41Yeah, not too many jokes.
02:42It's just a bit of a meat raffle happening down here at Taskmaster.
02:46Bring the truck.
02:47Bring the trailer.
02:48Kids get in free.
02:49I grew up in Newcastle.
02:51You know what you've accidentally done there, is you've brought in something that's useful.
02:56Can you say that in my dad's voice, please?
03:02Alright, Mel, what did you bring in?
03:04I brought in a thing called a pup in a cup.
03:07So I've slightly pulled the literal definition of box.
03:11That's eye-catching.
03:16It's a children's toy, Rhys.
03:19Okay, I think Rhys thinks it's some other toy.
03:23No, it pops up.
03:24So you squeeze the cup and the...
03:27Yay!
03:28Yay!
03:32Okay, not bad.
03:33Aaron?
03:34I bought the Mr Bean box set.
03:41Now this guy's so cheeky.
03:43One time he put a turkey on his head.
03:48And most people like to drive cars sitting inside the car.
03:54But this guy, he drove it sitting on top of it.
03:58Aaron, what are some other things Mr Bean's done?
04:02If you think he's not cheeky, then listen to this.
04:06One time, Mr Bean damaged an extremely expensive painting.
04:12And he replaced it with a print.
04:17Concetta, what did you bring in?
04:19I brought in the cheekiest guy.
04:21Get a load of this guy.
04:28I think you've mistaken cheekiness with pervertedness.
04:34Alright, Peter, what did you bring in that's cheeky?
04:37Well, mine was not dissimilar to what we just saw,
04:40but I think it is cheekier.
04:43It is the Dalai Lama taking a dump.
04:52A little cheeky dump.
04:53I found this on my travels in Barcelona.
04:56Right.
04:57I thought I had no profile in Spain.
04:59But there was a Peter Hellyer one in the shop in Barcelona.
05:07It's pretty cheeky of them to be making money off my name.
05:10I mean, I've never worn that. I don't wear glasses.
05:13But it's definitely me.
05:17I think that might be Elton John.
05:20Oh, yeah, I see that now.
05:23Can I bring something to your attention?
05:25Yes.
05:26There are three people in the middle here.
05:28None of their prizes are in boxes.
05:30Right.
05:31Well, Mel did say she just stretched the definition of box to cup.
05:34Yes, because it's in a thing.
05:36And is that thing a box?
05:37I don't know how to say.
05:38I'm not a box doctor.
05:39Or am I?
05:41Alright.
05:42Well, I'd better score this.
05:43Knowing that three aren't in a box is very persuasive
05:45that they should at least be the bottom three.
05:47OK.
05:48So I'm going to say Pete gets one point.
05:50Can Cheddar on two?
05:51OK.
05:52Mel's item, even though it wasn't in a box,
05:54of the items that we had, I think Mel's was the cheekiest.
05:57Three points to Mel.
05:58Rhys on four points.
05:59Because beef cheeks, you can just cook them up and eat them.
06:01It's quite useful.
06:02But Aaron gets five points.
06:05Alright.
06:06Time for a task, I think.
06:07This task involves something I've been searching for my whole life.
06:10A team.
06:11It's our first team task for the season.
06:13Yay!
06:26Hi, Tom.
06:28Oh, I don't think you're ready for all this jelly.
06:35Hey, Tom.
06:36Hi, Pete.
06:37Do you look good?
06:38I feel good.
06:39Oh, my God!
06:41G'day, mate.
06:42I'm crying!
06:45We've come dressed alike.
06:47Again.
06:48Should we catch up?
06:49Tom, can you give us a moment?
06:51Yeah, can you get us a couple of mimosas, Tom?
06:54Let's go talk.
06:55Tom, listen.
06:56Is he mean to you?
06:57Yes!
06:58Yeah, I know.
06:59And he's annoying.
07:00Oh!
07:04Good to see you, Pete.
07:05Good to see you.
07:06What have you been up to?
07:07Just hanging out with my balls.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Let's read it together.
07:11Wearing your exercise ball vest...
07:14I guess that's these.
07:15Yep.
07:16..collect the seven odd shapes from around the Taskmaster Retreat
07:20and stack them into a perfectly square tower on the oblong.
07:24You may not tamper with or remove your exercise ball vest.
07:27Also, one of you must whisper an original supportive sentence
07:32in the ear of a team-mate every 30 seconds.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:36Fastest wins.
07:37Oh, my God, are we going to go?
07:39Are you listening?
07:40Yes.
07:41Sorry.
07:42That's that last line.
07:43Your time starts now.
07:45Let's all go together and find a round of retreat.
07:47You look like hemorrhoids.
07:48OK.
07:49Let's go.
07:54I love the team task.
07:55Very exciting.
07:56Mm-hm.
07:57I'll have to think of names for the teams too.
07:59Oh, that would be good.
08:00So, just to be clear, the game is basically hide and seek
08:03plus Tetris if you're pregnant with four babies.
08:07And the team of three must whisper
08:09an original supportive sentence every 30 seconds.
08:11The other team don't have to do that.
08:13What the hell?
08:14Just to make it slightly more difficult.
08:15You have an unfair advantage.
08:16There's three of you.
08:17Yeah, but it's so hard to think of nice things
08:19to say to these guys.
08:20LAUGHTER
08:22All right, so which team is going to start us off?
08:24Making their debut with their debutante balls,
08:26it's Conchetta and Mel.
08:28I see one.
08:30Oh, my God!
08:32Mel!
08:33Mel, they're huge!
08:35I got one too!
08:36OK, I'm going to keep going in.
08:40Oh!
08:41Ah!
08:42Another one!
08:43Brilliant.
08:44Got another one.
08:45OK.
08:46Here's one.
08:47There's one right here.
08:48OK, I grab that.
08:49You go to the shed.
08:51Now, how do I do this?
08:53Oh, I got one.
08:55Oh, babe!
08:57Babe, this is where the challenge really begins.
08:59OK, so we've got to be smart.
09:02Perhaps these shouldn't be together.
09:05The yellows on this.
09:07Yeah, that's looking hot.
09:09You can mount that one.
09:10Just wanted to hang out with my friend today,
09:12but I guess we'll just do this shit for your pleasure.
09:17I think we're close.
09:19I didn't realise what a burden having four testicles would be.
09:22There you go, perfect square.
09:24Done.
09:25We're so close.
09:27We're smart, funny women now with beautiful hair.
09:31We do have good hair.
09:34What about, like...
09:36Like, should the yellows be together and then, like, flat, flat?
09:40Oh, this is... How long have we been going?
09:4315 minutes and 51 seconds.
09:45We have to start again.
09:47No, I'm not starting again.
09:48But he'll keep us here forever until we do it.
09:51No, we will not die here.
09:53We'll not be at our 80th birthday going,
09:55I think we could probably make it work.
09:57Do you think you could potentially,
09:59after 15 minutes of trying something,
10:01not be focusing on dying here?
10:03It would get me out of finishing this f***ing thing.
10:06We had to move one thing.
10:08It all works perfectly till blue and yellow.
10:11What if they were swapped around?
10:13You beautiful bitch.
10:14Like, what if they were, like, better friends somehow?
10:17You're a smart whore!
10:19You did it! You f***ing did it!
10:21I'm so proud of you.
10:23Oh, shit.
10:25It's hard. Let me help you.
10:27Ah!
10:30Fantastic.
10:37So, Mel, you started solving a puzzle,
10:39you hit one small obstacle, then you wanted to end it all.
10:43Do you think you may have overreacted?
10:45No, I think I need meds and a chat.
10:48I love Conchetta like the stepdaughter she is to me,
10:52but she's raised by a phone and a, like...
10:56We did not see eye to eye on how to solve that problem.
10:59In that Conchetta tried and you didn't.
11:04So you were in charge of being cross and whinging
11:06and Conchetta was in charge of being optimistic, I felt.
11:08I felt like you were quite happy to have a go.
11:10I was so excited to see Mel to, like, split the challenge of the task.
11:15I had only so many brain cells working.
11:18So, Conchetta, you were happy and Mel was very cross.
11:20I feel like I've worked out the team name.
11:22Ernie and Bert.
11:26I think that's the team.
11:28I don't think I have to go out on a limb.
11:30The other team are three.
11:31I think I'm just going to call them the Muppets.
11:34I haven't even seen what they're going to do,
11:36but I feel like they're going to live up to the name.
11:39Conchetta and Mel took 18 minutes and five seconds
11:42to complete the puzzle.
11:44Speedy. OK.
11:45More ball suit shape-shifters after this.
11:56CHEERING
11:59Welcome back to Taskmaster,
12:01a show which has afforded Aaron Chen a unique opportunity
12:04to offload his bulky old DVDs as a prize.
12:08Speaking of DVDs, my nickname for this guy here is Special Features.
12:12Special Features, where are we?
12:15Our contestants are attempting to put seven shapes
12:18into a perfect square tower.
12:19The next team have to whisper encouragingly to each other
12:22every 30 seconds.
12:23And I was hoping maybe we could do a bit of an example
12:25of what they have to do.
12:26Oh.
12:27Um, you're not that annoying.
12:31That'll have to do.
12:32It's Aaron, Peter and Rhys.
12:34Oh, here's one.
12:36Hey!
12:37Your balls are my favourite.
12:42Forget what your parents told you.
12:44I believe in you, OK?
12:46That's so awesome.
12:47Was that supportive?
12:49It's really supportive,
12:50cos he's saying, like, he believes in me.
12:53As opposed to...?
12:54My parents who don't.
12:57I reckon that other yellow one comes on this side.
12:59Does the blue and the orange fit together?
13:01They don't.
13:02Aaron?
13:03Um, your outfit is spick and specks.
13:08Spick and speck.
13:10Spick and speck.
13:12This is the most brain training I've had for a while.
13:14Yeah, I reckon they go...
13:16I reckon that...
13:19Oh.
13:21Do we want to start with the yellows?
13:23What about like that?
13:24Yeah.
13:25Maybe the purple starts at the bottom.
13:27I don't know.
13:28This is good. I think this is good.
13:30Have you considered instituting a method of some kind?
13:32Just let us do the job, please.
13:34OK.
13:35Let's think about this laterally.
13:36Do I see the block there?
13:38OK.
13:39This is like watching A Beautiful Mind right now.
13:41Yeah.
13:42Yeah, OK.
13:43Let's...
13:44Start again?
13:45Yeah.
13:47Maybe purple on the side next to the red.
13:49Have we done that?
13:50I don't know what we've done!
13:52What?
13:53I don't know what we've done,
13:54but I love that you're keeping your eye just straight.
13:56I don't think we could do this without you.
13:59To be fair, you've yet to prove that you can do it with it.
14:02What do you think your role is in this show?
14:04And then what if greeny...
14:05Green could go here.
14:07There's no long L shape is the problem.
14:09That's the problem?
14:10I think there's probably a series of problems.
14:12When's lunch?
14:13I'm...
14:14I'm going to get a coffee and then come back and...
14:16What would you like? What coffees?
14:17I'd say a flat white.
14:18Yeah, maybe triple shot espresso.
14:20Triple shot espresso?
14:21We've got to get this done.
14:22OK.
14:23Yeah, that looks like a flat white.
14:24Yeah.
14:25That would be the triple espresso.
14:26Probably.
14:27I mean, what if it is a square?
14:29Yeah, like E equals MC squared.
14:31Has anyone actually really road-tested that?
14:33Wait.
14:34What if we go...
14:35Put a pin in that for a second.
14:36Let's come back to that idea,
14:37but Aaron might have worked it out.
14:39Like this there?
14:40It's just jazzing at the moment.
14:42It's a good moment.
14:43Cue the stirring music.
14:44And then if you put the purple block
14:46and then I'll put the green in the middle there.
14:48Yes!
14:49Hold my coffee, thanks, Tom.
14:51I've got work to do, mate.
14:55Yeah!
15:01I hate to say I told you so, but the Muppets delivered.
15:05And I must say, I've never seen a group take so long to do a task
15:09that they had a coffee break in the middle.
15:12You spent nine minutes not adding or moving any blocks,
15:15just talking about whether to get a pepperoni or supreme pizza
15:18while waiting for your coffee.
15:20And I still reckon pepperoni.
15:23Peter, you seem quite confused with basic shapes.
15:27And then you thought from that position
15:29you could launch into questioning E equals MC squared.
15:32It's not my strength.
15:33You know, I know basic stuff.
15:35I know H2O is water, but I thought CO2 was cordial.
15:38That's...
15:39That's where I'm...
15:41That's where I'm at.
15:42That's where I'm at.
15:44Aaron, did I hear you get a triple shot?
15:46Yeah.
15:47Do you get a triple shot all the time?
15:49No, just to get through this day.
15:52Well, you think that the challenge is putting the blocks together,
15:55but it's dealing with these guys.
15:58They are hard work.
16:00I've also got a list of a few compliments.
16:03Aaron to Pete, you're a nice bastard.
16:05Pete to Aaron, you should have hosted Fisk.
16:13Pete to Reece, I like the way you took control of our pizza order.
16:16Because I don't think the production took it seriously for a while there.
16:21Until you were like, no, we want pizza.
16:25Pete to Aaron, I'm a bit worried if we have coffee and pizza,
16:28I might shit my pants.
16:29Pete to Aaron, I'm a bit worried if we have coffee and pizza,
16:32I might shit my pants.
16:37Alright, well, I need to come up with the score.
16:39Well, if we remember correctly, Conchetta and Mel took 18 minutes
16:42and 5 seconds.
16:43The Muppets took 52 minutes and 15 seconds.
16:48I think Ernie and Bert obviously win, 5 points each.
16:54And the Muppets get 2-2-2.
16:56Alright, hit us with another task.
16:58This task deploys a device that I relate to.
17:00It hovers around and has an SD card inside it
17:02that's very hard to get out.
17:20Hi, Tom.
17:21Hi, Reece.
17:22How are you doing?
17:23I'm OK.
17:24Holy schmokes.
17:27This for me?
17:28Great, I was hoping this would be it.
17:30Film the most emotional scene on this drone.
17:33You must not get closer than 5 metres from the drone
17:37during drone scene filming.
17:39Most emotional drone scene wins.
17:42You have 60 minutes.
17:44Your time starts now.
17:47Never filmed an emotional drone scene before.
17:50Really? Yeah, never.
17:51I think you'll betray me and I'll have to murder you
17:54and then go outside and mourn.
17:56Thank you for saying that my death would be a horrific tragedy.
17:59In the film.
18:01Do you like drones these days?
18:02Used for a lot of property videos?
18:04Like real estate.
18:05Real estate videos?
18:06What are some of the huge emotional moments in life?
18:09You lose something.
18:10Fiction.
18:11Wallet, yeah, wallet.
18:12Phone.
18:13God, imagine losing your phone.
18:14Losing your phone, wow.
18:16Do you think you could play a guy who's cheated on me?
18:18Oh, I'm actually quite loyal but I'll...
18:21Remember that very powerful scene in Saving Private Ryan?
18:26I haven't seen it.
18:27OK.
18:28Can we just do a bit of improv now?
18:30OK.
18:31Like maybe I'll...
18:32Hey.
18:33Who is she?
18:34Her name's Emma.
18:35You're just going to say her name?
18:37Yeah.
18:38That poor?
18:39She's awesome.
18:40What's your strongest European language?
18:42I did a year of German in Year 8.
18:45Me too.
18:46Is this our first idea?
18:47Could we go better?
18:50No, there's nothing more important in life than your phone.
18:52Ich habe eine große Hose schonen.
18:56Hose schonen.
18:58What's that?
18:59Trouser snake.
19:00That's going to be the first line of the film.
19:03OK.
19:04Yeah.
19:10So we've got quite a range there.
19:12Pete thought it would be very emotional if you lost your sons in a war
19:15and Mel, you thought it would be emotional if you lost your phone.
19:20Stand by that.
19:21Because I've had to choose between getting my son out of the bath
19:24or maybe dropping my phone in the bath
19:26and, oh, I took a bit too long to make that choice.
19:31OK.
19:32Whose drone are we going to look at first?
19:34You can catch her droning on the airwaves every morning.
19:36It's Conchetta Caristo.
19:38Today's the day he's going to propose.
19:40I can feel it.
19:41Oh, Emma.
19:43Oh, Emma.
19:44Take the moment in, Conchetta.
19:46It's happening.
19:47Oh, it's so naughty.
19:49He's been sneaking around and trying to find the perfect ring.
19:53I love sexting you on my iPad.
19:56So soak it up, babe.
19:58Here's to forever.
20:02Take the moment in, Conchetta.
20:04It's happening.
20:06Hi, babe.
20:07Hi, Conchetta.
20:08I missed you.
20:10Conchetta.
20:11It's happening.
20:12Yeah.
20:14I found this dog shit on the ground.
20:16I thought you'd like it.
20:18You don't know me at all.
20:26Do you often offer women dog shit?
20:29I would like to say that Conchetta scripted that scene.
20:33Were you worried people would watch that and think it was all true?
20:36I think my concern wasn't that people would think it was true,
20:39but it was more that they would think I was doing stuff
20:41that I'd done before, like kissing a mannequin repeatedly.
20:44You kissing the mannequin wasn't that disturbing
20:46because I felt pretty sure you'd never done that before,
20:49whereas I felt that, Conchetta, you have sat in a bathtub
20:52looking at a mirror of yourself before.
20:54Was that based on your life?
20:56Yeah, that's a self-care Sunday.
21:00All right, more drone.
21:01Take me higher, Lesser Tom.
21:03It would be my dream.
21:04Here's Rhys Nicholson.
21:09G'day.
21:10I'm Tom from Cashman, Cashman and Cashman Real Estate.
21:13We're here at the Taskmaster Retreat.
21:15It's a three-better.
21:21How's this for negative, Gary?
21:41Catharsis.
21:43LAUGHTER
22:02Catharsis.
22:04You're a millennial
22:05and you're complaining about real estate prices.
22:07How did you come up with this unique opinion?
22:10I think that I looked at everyone's life from my parents
22:13and before that and thought,
22:17Right.
22:18But don't you own a house?
22:20Yeah, I own two.
22:21Yeah, so...
22:23So you're just cynically trying to be down with your generation
22:26when really your generation is called your tenants.
22:32All right, time for some ads.
22:34Why not call your local real estate agent and check in on them?
22:37We'll be back soon with more high, intense blades
22:40flying close to underinsured comedians' faces.
22:53Welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:54So far we've seen comedians using a drone
22:57to film tragically depressing things
22:59like a break-up or catharsis or lesser Tom's face.
23:02Who's next?
23:03There's a lot of buzz around her at the moment.
23:05It's probably the aerial filming equipment.
23:07Here's Mel Buttle.
23:09Oh, my phone's...my phone's under my pocket.
23:11Um...
23:12Oh, it might be the car. I'll check...check the car.
23:22It's not in the car.
23:24My phone's not in the car,
23:26which means it...
23:28it fell in the bath!
23:31Come back to me, baby.
23:32Baby, come back.
23:33Come on, come on, come on.
23:34It wasn't that much water.
23:36Let me blow in your hole.
23:38I'm going to need rice.
23:39I'm going to need 500g of white rice.
23:42Does anyone have anything?
23:45It's not in chewing.
23:58Powerful.
23:59Very emotional.
24:01To be fair, even though it was a trivial problem,
24:03it was real.
24:04It's very real, Tom.
24:05Can I just say, Mel, and I love you,
24:07but you were like,
24:08this girl was raised by her phone.
24:09Yeah, I know.
24:10And then your whole thing was about your phone.
24:12Yeah, but I've got two degrees, so it's different.
24:14Oh, yeah.
24:16Is the name of that film Nobody Had Rice?
24:19Cos that's a tragedy in my culture as well.
24:27Thank you, Aaron,
24:28for saying a joke that none of us could have said.
24:33LAUGHTER
24:37Who have we got next, then?
24:39He's done a lot of work on air, but can he work up in the air?
24:42The answer is up in the air.
24:43Here's Aaron Chan.
24:54Good, good.
25:03Yeah.
25:07Yeah.
25:12Yes.
25:26Yeah!
25:33Hello, just...
25:52Nein, nein, nein, no.
25:56Oh.
25:58You can't!
26:03Go on.
26:07Oh, no!
26:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:28So...
26:30I feel like there was not so much German,
26:32but there was a lot of English.
26:34It was a co-production between two nations.
26:39Can I say, the other people often would give me a script of what to say.
26:43Aaron refused to give me a script and said,
26:46you just have to improvise using all the German you know.
26:51OK, one more drone scene left.
26:53Can he get more emotional than when he realised
26:55he actually had to finish a puzzle earlier?
26:57It's Peter Hellyer.
27:05Hello, hello!
27:07I'm Mrs Ryan.
27:08Hello, Mrs Ryan.
27:09Are you from the army?
27:10Yes.
27:11That's a coincidence.
27:12I have four sons currently serving in World War II.
27:16Mm.
27:17Is that a letter for me, for my sons, on my birthday?
27:22Sorry.
27:23Which is also on Mother's Day.
27:24Don't be sorry.
27:26This is the happiest day of my life.
27:28That's why I'm wearing my happy clothes.
27:33What?
27:34One of my sons is...
27:37No!
27:40So emotional.
27:42Well...
27:43Sorry.
27:44At least I have three more sons.
27:46Oh, this is a...
27:50Not another one!
27:51No!
27:54I'm so emotional.
27:56At least I have two more sons.
27:58Sorry.
27:59What?
28:03What?
28:06No!
28:08Oh, no.
28:11This is the worst day I've had in a long time.
28:15I'm very emotional.
28:16You've had worse days?
28:17Yes, I'm a big sports fan.
28:19Oh.
28:20Sometimes my team loses.
28:22Sorry.
28:23What?
28:24This is from my fourth son?
28:26Oh, don't tell me.
28:28Do not tell me.
28:29Not all...
28:30Oh, it's a Foxtel bill.
28:33220 bucks!
28:35No!
28:39So emotional.
28:46It was a very emotional scene, Pete.
28:48It was.
28:49It was a hard scene to shoot.
28:51It took a while.
28:52The crew, there wasn't a dry eye.
28:54Even the audience, they're all...
28:56Don't...
28:57Don't show them.
28:58I don't want you to show them, but they are all...
29:01They're all crying.
29:02And also, I felt like you frocking up,
29:04it really kind of delivered on your 90s comedy roots.
29:08Yes.
29:09I've always been inspired by the footy show.
29:12All right.
29:13Well, I think that some delivered on the emotion
29:15more strongly than others.
29:16I feel like Reece's...
29:17It was pandering to the masses
29:19by trying to tap into the current housing crisis,
29:21so I'm giving you one.
29:22Is there a housing crisis?
29:26Aaron, I'm giving two points to.
29:28It was an emotional film, but the emotion I felt was boredom.
29:31I'm giving three points to Conchetta
29:33because I felt those emotions were real,
29:35but weirdly not as real as Mel's emotion about missing a phone,
29:39so Mel gets four.
29:41And Peter Hellyer,
29:42because he made me feel happy with some old-school comedy.
29:46He gets five points.
29:51OK, while remote controls are essential to operate drones,
29:54when it comes to ones for television,
29:56it's poor form to touch them at times like this.
29:59See you after some advertising.
30:11Welcome back to Taskmaster.
30:13We're not even two episodes into the season
30:15and Pete Hellyer's already put on a dress.
30:17Would you like a score update?
30:19Ah, yes.
30:20So currently we have Reece in last place on seven points,
30:23but Mel Buttle is currently in the lead with 12 points.
30:28Have you got another task?
30:29Sure do.
30:30I would like to apologise to all these supernatural women
30:33whose headgear we used for this next one.
30:46DOOR OPENS
30:54Very interesting.
30:59Tom?
31:02OK.
31:06Crack the seal on another one.
31:08Hide these ten witches' hats on a Taskmaster retreat.
31:11You have ten minutes to hide them.
31:13Tom will then have ten minutes to search for them.
31:16Most witches' hats remaining hidden after Tom's search wins.
31:19Time starts now. Hide ten.
31:27Interesting approach there, Aaron.
31:29Your first thought was to run away from the witches' hats.
31:32I thought I had to hide from them.
31:36Alright, this seems pretty straightforward.
31:38A game of Cone, Hide and Seek.
31:40Who are we seeing first?
31:42It's easy to tell which is which,
31:44but which is better at hiding witches' hats, Conchetta or Pete?
31:51Before you say that straightaway, I'll come back for that.
31:54Oh, that's too heavy. See ya. Come on!
32:00OK.
32:01You've just one at a time!
32:03I bought that idea.
32:07Shit!
32:09Oh, God! So unfit!
32:12He's going to look in the shed straightaway.
32:14Behind the shed.
32:18Oh, God!
32:19OK. Back to running.
32:22Right in there.
32:26Good luck, mate.
32:28Good f***ing luck.
32:30WHISTLE BLOWS
32:33Why that?
32:34I heard him back here.
32:36I heard him back here.
32:38There's one.
32:40I've spotted three cones. Where are the others?
32:42I don't know.
32:43There's a fourth.
32:44There's two.
32:45Not even hidden at all.
32:46There's one on the roof.
32:47How did you see that?
32:48I found three.
32:49There's a fifth one.
32:50Where did you put the other cones?
32:51Over here.
32:52That means it's down here.
32:54There's a sixth one.
32:55I found three.
32:56Three more. I found six in total.
33:00Seven.
33:01There's another one.
33:02Eighth one. Spotted.
33:04That's an eighth one.
33:05There's two more.
33:07Oh, f***!
33:11The task's over, Pete.
33:12I found eight.
33:13Well done.
33:14Blow your whistle.
33:17Blow it.
33:18Blow it.
33:19OK. Six seconds left.
33:20Five, four, three, two, one.
33:24Good stuff, Pete.
33:25You really eluded me with the two.
33:28Three, two, one.
33:32That wasn't a whistle.
33:33Good stuff, Pete.
33:34Good stuff.
33:35That wasn't a whistle.
33:36It wasn't a whistle.
33:47That's actually it.
33:48OK, hang on a second.
33:49I'm just going to try to get this door open, mate.
33:51Yeah, there it is.
33:52Oh, f***!
33:53Oh, f***!
33:54Oh, f***!
33:55Oh, f***!
33:56Yeah, there it is.
33:57Oh.
33:58Mate, I was doing my best.
33:59Yeah, right, you were trying to open it.
34:01I was trying.
34:02Why did you live through here?
34:03I literally was running non-stop and I couldn't fit the men's.
34:06OK.
34:07You just get to prance around like a little fairy,
34:09but I'm literally doing manual labour.
34:11Were you trying on your side?
34:12Yeah, I was trying on my side.
34:13Were you?
34:14I was definitely trying on my side.
34:15Oh, man, well done.
34:16Thanks, Pete.
34:17Yeah, speak about it.
34:21Pete, I'm surprised your strategy of chucking the cones
34:23wherever you happened to be running didn't pay off.
34:26I wish I had thought about locking Tom in a room earlier.
34:31I love in these little tasks
34:33just seeing what a true little psycho you are.
34:36Like, when you were going...
34:39..that I was like, f*** yeah.
34:43I'd been given a task to find as many as I could
34:46and I took that seriously.
34:47I feel like we've got an insight
34:49into what you look like, Pete, on bin night.
34:51Running around in a panic.
34:53Throwing shit in all different directions.
34:55Now, Conchetta, you implied that his job's very easy,
34:58unlike you, who was doing manual labour.
35:00Mm-hm.
35:01Is that what you think manual labour is?
35:04No, seriously, Tom, they were so heavy.
35:07Like, for it to be equal,
35:08you should wear cement blocks around your feet.
35:11So it seemed like a really hard job...
35:13Mm.
35:14..from the basis that you work at Triple J.
35:18For both Pete and Conchetta, I found eight of the ten cones.
35:22All right, Lesser Tom, who's next?
35:24It's the two contestants who were most frustrated
35:26by my presence throughout the series.
35:28Will they thrive in my absence?
35:29It's Mel and Rhys.
35:31WHISTLE BLOWS
35:35Where did you put the cones?
35:37What? What?
35:38Hi, Tom.
35:39Two cones up there.
35:40Uh, maybe. I don't know. I'm not sure where they are.
35:43Where did you put the other cones?
35:44Um, I can't remember.
35:47He'll never guess.
36:00He didn't see it.
36:11Third time.
36:18HE SIGHS
36:23Trying to think where you'd put them.
36:30Oh, shit.
36:31That's not what we want at all.
36:33Well, he's finding that one.
36:41Fourth time.
36:42Would you like to give me a hint?
36:44Um, they're orange and they're about that big.
36:46Yeah, I knew that.
36:47Quick, go. Quick sticks.
36:56Another hint.
36:57A woman hid them.
36:59Think like a woman.
37:00What would a woman do?
37:02I have no idea.
37:03I know.
37:07Oh, good boy.
37:10Don't, don't, don't. No.
37:12That's a cone.
37:14That's two.
37:15You're doing so well, Tom.
37:17Haven't even found half of them.
37:24About a minute, I reckon.
37:36WHISTLE BLOWS
37:38Found two.
37:39Good boy.
37:40You think I'm too smart.
37:42I just hid them really dumb places.
37:44Like where?
37:45Up your butt.
37:47Oh.
37:48We've got to swap jobs, haven't we?
37:50A little bit.
37:51I can't let you know how you've done
37:52because my job's just to administer the task.
37:54Bye, Tom.
38:00I'm surprised you didn't find more of Rhys' cones
38:02since they were so close to home.
38:05And by that, I mean up your arse.
38:08I got them up there pretty far.
38:10I'm not sure the task went as you planned, Lesser Tom.
38:13There were so many of you, you just walked by.
38:15I know, I'm sorry.
38:16Did a man look, didn't you?
38:24Now, Rhys, I see your strategy of hiding the cones
38:26worked well for you, unlike Pete's,
38:28where you just throw them in a ditch.
38:30I was so puffed by the end of it.
38:32To watch that footage would be quite troubling for me, I think,
38:34cos I was muttering to myself like I was burying a backpacker.
38:37Like it was...
38:39I was...
38:44I've never said that before and I never will again.
38:50Mel, were you tempted to tell Tom where the cones were when he asked?
38:54No, not once, no.
38:56No, I hated the maggot.
39:01So, what are the stats?
39:02Mel, I found five,
39:04and for Rhys, I only found two out of ten cones.
39:09OK.
39:11It's time for an ad break.
39:12If you don't want to watch the ads,
39:14pay for a streaming version of this.
39:16If you don't want to pay for the streaming version,
39:18watch it on YouTube.
39:19I don't give a shit.
39:20Back soon.
39:31Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:33Before the break, we saw Rhys and Mel are really good at cones.
39:36I wonder what that says about their teenage years.
39:39Right, next contestant, please.
39:41Can he make these high-viz cones low-viz?
39:43It's Aaron Chen.
39:51Hi, Aaron.
39:52How are you doing?
39:53Why did I do that?
40:00What are you doing, Aaron?
40:04Aaron?
40:05Hi, Tom.
40:06How are you, man?
40:07I'm all right. Are you locking me in here?
40:09I'm just hiding cones, mainly.
40:11Oh, OK.
40:13How much longer, Tom?
40:1535 seconds.
40:16I'm getting pretty worried.
40:19I don't know.
40:31Hi, Aaron.
40:37Where?
40:40There's one.
40:41I had a lot of time to hide that.
40:43It's two.
40:45There's three.
40:46Double cone.
40:47That's four.
40:48Where did you hide the cones?
40:49You broke the door, mate.
40:50You broke the door?
40:51It was property damage.
40:52You put a lock on it.
40:55Oh, my God.
40:56Did he fall? Yes!
41:01Oh, my God.
41:02I hope you're not OK.
41:04Did you hide any down here?
41:05Yeah, heaps.
41:06Heaps?
41:07One, two, three, four, five.
41:09Five spotted.
41:10Only one remaining.
41:11All this happened for no reason.
41:12Yeah, you broke property as well.
41:14Stop focusing on the property.
41:16Sorry, do you guys mind calling the owners?
41:18Because there's been a bit of property damage.
41:22How'd you go?
41:25Nine out of ten.
41:26You put a padlock on the shed?
41:27Yeah, to make sure that the property was secure.
41:30It wasn't very secure, though, was it?
41:31See you later, mate.
41:32I'm OK with it, but I don't know.
41:34They probably won't be able to show some of that footage
41:36because of certain crimes being committed.
41:38Could actually be bad for your reputation.
41:42Thanks, Aaron.
41:48Aaron, you went from cat got the cream to humble pie very quickly.
41:51How long did you think you were going to keep him in there for?
41:53I thought it was secure.
41:57It wasn't even the padlock that broke, it was the hinge itself.
42:00That's why I was saying it's property damage.
42:02When we left the property, we informed the owners
42:04and they said, oh, yeah, that's been faulty for a while, that's fine.
42:08So it was an inside job.
42:14I think we were all very pleased to see you make Lesser Tom slip over.
42:18I feel like an extra point might be allocated there, Lesser Tom.
42:21I really enjoyed watching you fall on your face.
42:24For Aaron, I found nine, so Rhys should get five, Mel should get four.
42:28How many points are we giving Pete and Conchetta?
42:30Pete and Conchetta maybe should get three each to leave room for...
42:34Well, Aaron's normally last on one, but he did make you slip over,
42:37so he gets two.
42:38Gotcha.
42:41All right, it's almost time for our live task,
42:43but first, what does our scoreboard look like overall, Lesser Tom?
42:46With 16 points, Mel is our current top dog.
42:53Let's head upstairs for the final task of the show.
43:01All right, Lesser Tom, what are we doing now?
43:03Pete, read the task, please.
43:05Be humble as pie about your pie.
43:08Each contestant will have 15 seconds to be humble about their pie.
43:13Least humble about their pie will be eliminated.
43:17The first speaker will begin on Tom's whistle.
43:21Ready, set...
43:24Ooh, God, the pastry's a bit affordable.
43:26It's made from margarine, not butter, and it's not very brown,
43:29but still, yeah, it's the best I've got.
43:32It's the best I can do, and I'm about to...
43:36Pete.
43:37Yeah, it's OK.
43:39You know, it's not as good as my mum's or my nan's
43:42or my great-grandfather who fought in the War of Gallipoli
43:45and they used to make...
43:47They used to make pies, but that's about it.
43:50Conchetta.
43:53Hey, I would love you to have this, but I...
43:56Like, I know I look fancy, but I don't know what I'm doing.
43:59Like, I... I'm a loser and you're so cool.
44:03Rhys.
44:08There's just so many good birds that I could have chosen.
44:11These don't even like good shiny shit.
44:13It's just...
44:16Ready, Aaron?
44:20Oh, man, yeah, this is...
44:22It's just... It's a number, you know?
44:25I mean, like, forget about it.
44:27Yeah, it sucks.
44:31The least humble was Aaron Chen.
44:33He very arrogantly threw his pie on the ground.
44:36I didn't realise it could break.
44:40Noel, could you read this one, please? Certainly.
44:43Be keen as mustard about your mustard.
44:45Your keenness starts now.
44:47Oh, my God, it's awesome! It's in powder form, dude!
44:50Like, you can go like this and it's like...
44:52Yeah, you can be like, woo!
44:54And, like, it's awesome, I want you to play with it, Tom!
44:57And you can have some, you get in it!
44:59Oh, no, it's showing! Yes! Yes!
45:03Rhys.
45:05That is the chemical formula for mustard gas.
45:08Ah!
45:10Ah!
45:12Ah!
45:15Ah!
45:18Ah!
45:20Ah!
45:25Mel.
45:27Oh, wowie, look at that!
45:29Oh, my God, I want to get in there, I want to lick that,
45:32I want to rip that off, I'm...
45:34Oh, jeez, Louise, that is some good...
45:36I want to touch it. Oh, that's...
45:38Pete.
45:40Oh, yes.
45:42Oh!
45:44Oh, God.
45:46Oh.
45:49WHISTLE BLOWS
45:52I don't think Rhys was keen, they just seemed terrified.
45:58Thank you, Sean.
45:59Be cool as a cucumber about your cucumber.
46:02WHISTLE BLOWS
46:04Oh, damn, that's lit as fam.
46:06Wicked.
46:08Well, what's the dealio?
46:10Um, stop blowing up my phone with SMSs.
46:13Um, stop tweeting me!
46:15WHISTLE BLOWS
46:16Pete.
46:17WHISTLE BLOWS
46:18All right, whatever, cool, you know, it's cool, it's good, whatever.
46:21I don't care, I'll just, you know, just go for the ride.
46:29WHISTLE BLOWS
46:31Conchita.
46:33Oh, yeah, this whole thing, this thing rides a motorcycle,
46:37and, you know, it's like, I don't even care, like...
46:41WHISTLE BLOWS
46:43I can't lie to Pete.
46:45That was the least cool before I even tried.
46:51Be smooth as silk about your silk.
46:54Smoothest wins.
46:56No.
46:57WHISTLE BLOWS
46:59What's up, G? You come here often?
47:01Damn, Mum, are you woo-hoo?
47:04Oh, mm-mm, did you just walk in here looking like this, or...?
47:08Wow, heaven is missing an angel.
47:10WHISTLE BLOWS
47:12Yeah.
47:14WHISTLE BLOWS
47:16Oh, baby doll, the way you make me feel.
47:22You nasty girl.
47:25You are smooth.
47:27WHISTLE BLOWS
47:34Given my wife and children watch this show,
47:37Mel was the smoothest.
47:39Thank you, Tom.
47:41OK, the contestants have to walk from up there to down here,
47:44and it takes just long enough for us to wedge in an ant break.
47:47See you soon.
47:57Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:59We're about to find out who the best comedian is of all time
48:02in Australia on this channel, in this episode tonight.
48:07But before we do that, who won the live task, Tom?
48:10Well, Aaron took away a cool one point, Rhys a smooth two,
48:13Pete a keen three, Conchetta a humble four,
48:16and Mel took it out with a spicy five points.
48:20OK, now what we really want to know,
48:23who will be leaving the show tonight
48:25with that horrible, horrible, captivating gnome?
48:28Well, Aaron was in last place with 12 points,
48:30Pete and Rhys in third, equal on 14 points,
48:33Conchetta second with 17 points,
48:35and Mel way out in front with blackjack, 21 points!
48:39Congratulations, Mel.
48:42Head up on stage and collect your bounty of cheeky crapping boxes.
48:47At lesser Tom, what's our season scoreboard looking like?
48:51Well, there are only three points between all of them,
48:54so it's neck and neck and neck and neck and neck,
48:57with Conchetta in the lead with 32 points this season.
49:03OK, and that brings us to the end of another episode of Taskmaster.
49:07We've learned Aaron definitely doesn't sprecken any Deutsch.
49:11And we've learned that professional comedian Tom Cashman
49:14is at his funniest when face-planting into mud.
49:19Now let's learn how Mel Buddle will enjoy their prizes.
49:22See you next week!
49:38Fuck!
49:39No!
49:40I'm in your freaking mind.
49:42Is there any part of your personality that's not Italian?
49:47Nice whistle, bitch.
49:48You need to use this paddle to hit the koala.
49:51I guess what I'm hoping for at this stage
49:53is the others have f***ed up their task.