Taskmaster AU S02E06
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00:00Ah!
00:02Aaaaaaaaaa!
00:04Oh!
00:06Oh!
00:20Oh!
00:22No!
00:30Hello and welcome to Master Task.
00:40My name is Glom Thiessen and through a science experiment gone wrong, the game show I host
00:46has been body swapped through the multiverse and I find myself here hosting an eerily similar
00:52show in your feeble-minded world.
00:55Now, assuming I have the format correct, we're about to watch some comedians do some
01:01ridiculous things, all for the chance of winning Tom Gleeson's head.
01:07Who are these comedians?
01:11I can only assume it's people sitting over there.
01:14Ann Edmonds, Jenny Thien, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford, and Will Anderson.
01:23Listen, sitting next to me is a man of many talents, he keeps time, he blows whistles,
01:31the end.
01:32It's Tom Cashman.
01:33Alright, Lesser Tom, prize task time.
01:39This week our contestants have been asked to bring in the thing you would marry if you
01:43could.
01:44Okay, Ann, what would you marry if you could?
01:47Well, I said...
01:54We can show who I said up here.
01:56Oh.
02:02Yeah, but I haven't been asked, so whatever!
02:07Okay, Lloyd, you're next.
02:11What have you brought in for the prize task?
02:13I actually might need to talk to one of the producers.
02:23I chose...
02:28I chose Ann Edmonds.
02:35Well, I like the way you both chose this as a funny hypothetical in a game.
02:42You have been together for a long time and could have done it at any time in the last
02:46however many years.
02:47I got married, it's quite easy.
02:48But now, Channel 10 has to pay for it!
02:54Alright, Will, what thing do you want to marry?
02:56It's going to be awkward because mine's also Ann.
03:01This actually is as sincere as that was, truly, because there is one thing I love above all
03:06other things so much that I write a joke about it every year in my comedy festival show,
03:11so on the day of my shows I can have a piece of it and then talk about it in the show,
03:14claim that piece of it on my tax.
03:16It is cake.
03:17I love cake.
03:18I would love to marry a cake.
03:22That's me on top of my wedding cake getting married to a cake.
03:27That's the loneliest little statue I've ever seen.
03:31I feel like that's a little window into your home life there, Will.
03:34My no-home life.
03:37Josh, what would you love to marry?
03:41I find the thought of getting married quite terrifying and sort of cloying.
03:45I found this quite stressful, actually, and I didn't like the idea of really marrying
03:49anything.
03:50Well, I voted yes for nothing.
03:56Doesn't even appreciate it.
04:00Anyway, so I went with water.
04:03I just thought, you're not going to regret that, because it's to death do you part,
04:10and that just seems like a lot, actually, because I don't know what's next for me,
04:14but I do know whatever is next for me, I might be thirsty.
04:20Jenny, what did you bring in?
04:22I thought of marriage as something that's going to be there for you all the time in
04:26your life, no matter what.
04:29So I'm thinking about the lowest points in my life and what was there for me, and also
04:34I think the best marriages contain a little bit of spice, so what I've brought in is
04:38a shin ramen.
04:47So we basically have two people wanting to marry each other and three people who like
04:51to consume things.
04:54So I'm going to give Josh one point for the water.
04:56I feel like I've seen it before.
04:59Also, I'm going to give two points to Will for the cake, because I feel like it wasn't
05:03new knowledge for me, I already knew that you liked cake.
05:05Jenny's got three for the ramen, and just because I believe in true love,
05:10I'm going to give five points each to Anne and Lloyd.
05:19Alright, if I had a little task bell, I would ring it, but I don't,
05:24so I'll just ask any task, Lester Tom.
05:28For this task, I'd like to add my two cents, and then three more.
05:44Hello.
05:45Hi Josh.
05:46Oh, another potato.
05:47Mr Potato Head.
05:48I had an ex-girlfriend who used to call me that.
05:53Show off one of your senses.
05:56The sense you show off must be one of the five official senses.
05:58Most impressive use of a sense wins.
06:01If you pick the same sense as another contestant...
06:04You will have two points deducted for each contestant who picks it.
06:08Oh man, OK.
06:10You have 20 minutes, your time starts now.
06:13So what are they? Sight, smell, taste?
06:17There's hearing, I'm not good at hearing.
06:20You're not good at hearing?
06:21What? See?
06:22Taste is the obvious one.
06:24You think?
06:26It'd make you sick eating a raw potato.
06:35Yeah, OK, so we've got taste, touch, sight, hearing, smell.
06:38We're just looking for the most impressive use with one of those.
06:41Who's up first?
06:42They're common law partners.
06:43Let's see if they share common sense.
06:45It's Anne and Lloyd.
06:47How about we do hearing?
06:50I'm going to choose seeing.
06:52What have you got?
06:54A strawberry, an apple, chips, a mandarin and a blueberry.
07:00And we're doing hearing?
07:01Hearing, yeah.
07:02You could hide him.
07:04OK.
07:05And I could see him, try and find him.
07:07If I'm blindfolded and you drop each individual item
07:12from a height onto the ground...
07:14Yeah.
07:15..and I'll tell you which it is.
07:17Ready?
07:19Just showcasing my vision for the camera.
07:2611 seconds.
07:27Wow!
07:28If you would drop it, like, around there somewhere...
07:31So really, really close to your ears?
07:33Well...
07:36That's an apple.
07:39Blueberry.
07:42Ready?
07:43Ready?
07:47Ah!
07:48There he is.
07:54They're chips, that is.
07:55You really needed to wait that long to guess?
07:57I've got to be 100% sure.
08:02Ready?
08:05Oh.
08:07Oh, no, now it's hard.
08:13That's a banana, 100%.
08:19Oh, you're redoing some of the items, are you?
08:22That's another banana.
08:23Stop messing me around.
08:24Get that strawberry on the floor, I can take my blindfold off,
08:27we can all go home.
08:29He's in there!
08:30I knew you were up to something.
08:31You found him?
08:36Actually, I don't know what that was.
08:39I'd say that was a strawberry.
08:41What's your final guess?
08:42I'll change my mind, the mandarin.
08:44All right, off I pop.
08:45Thank you.
08:51So you thought you'd test your vision by looking for something?
08:54Yeah, like, I just showcased my seeing.
08:57I'm just showing off, wow, you know.
09:02Wow, she can see.
09:04You could argue that your test less assessed your sight
09:08and more your problem-solving skills.
09:11And Lloyd's less assessed your hearing
09:13and more what it would be like to be kidnapped
09:15by Conor the Frooderer.
09:20OK, so Lloyd, you were pretty good at identifying things from sound.
09:24I am disappointed that I got the mandarin wrong.
09:28Because not only could I hear the mandarin, but it touched me.
09:33Did you think, wow, this small spherical banana
09:36has rolled towards me?
09:39Because it rolled towards you and I'm pretty sure bananas do not roll.
09:44Look, you know, they sometimes say when you have one sense removed
09:48then the others become stronger.
09:52Not in my case.
09:55Anne had five attempts at finding Mr Potato Head.
09:58Three of them she found Mr Potato Head in under 20 seconds.
10:02So I'd put that as a 60% success rate.
10:05Lloyd got four out of six correct.
10:08So I suppose if you wanted to look at it this way,
10:10Anne got 60% of hers correct
10:12and Lloyd got 66.66.
10:14Repeater.
10:17Alright.
10:18Now, watching the visually overwhelming footage of Lloyd
10:21on the ground has hurt my eyes.
10:23So I need to cleanse my sense of sight
10:25on these relaxing low-stimulus ads.
10:27See you soon.
10:38We're back on Taskmaster.
10:40Tonight, three comedians are trying to win the ultimate prize pack.
10:44Three food items and two unmarried comedians.
10:47Where are we, Lester-Tom?
10:49Our comedians are choosing their strongest sense
10:51and using it to try to impress you.
10:53If two contestants or more choose the same sense,
10:55points will be deducted.
10:56I wonder why that's come to mind.
10:58Ahead of introducing these next two is Jenny and Josh.
11:01No!
11:02My taste buds are pretty dece, I'd say.
11:05I'll go with taste.
11:07We'll do tasting.
11:08You have to come to the kitchen!
11:10That's not where the kitchen is.
11:12So I'm going to do a taste test,
11:14completely blindfolded,
11:16with all these ingredients here.
11:18How many do I have to do to show it off?
11:20That's up to you.
11:21OK, we'll try and do 100.
11:23100.
11:26Cocoa.
11:29Cumin?
11:30No, it's turmeric.
11:31Oh.
11:32OK, let's go again.
11:34Red powder.
11:37Is that food?
11:38Not sure.
11:39Is it unpopped popcorn?
11:40I don't know.
11:41What is it?
11:42Salad.
11:43Then it's a full lentil!
11:45Things are edible now.
11:46You can't eat those, babe.
11:47Honey!
11:49Curry powder.
11:51Peppitas.
11:54Wholemeal flour.
11:55Is it jam?
11:56What flavour jam?
11:57I think probably apricot.
11:59No.
12:01Pineapple and coconut.
12:02OK.
12:08I thought you were trying to open it.
12:09You were.
12:10No, I thought someone was sick.
12:11I was covering up the sound of the opening of the...
12:14Black tea, I-E-T.
12:25I don't know.
12:26I don't know.
12:27I don't know.
12:28I don't know.
12:29Peppermint.
12:32Popcorn.
12:33Correct.
12:34Last one.
12:35Ten seconds.
12:37Lemon and ginger.
12:39How do we think we did?
12:40We don't know.
12:41We don't even know how many we did.
12:42Not 100.
12:43Probably not 100.
12:44Thanks, Josh.
12:50You both chose taste, which means...
12:52They get two points deducted from their scores,
12:54as given at the end.
12:55Yes.
12:56But I feel like you're actually both very good at tasting.
12:59But I think Jenny was better at making up a tasting test.
13:02No.
13:03No, because...
13:04Oh!
13:05Because...
13:06Well, Jenny's like,
13:07these are the number of things that I'm going to taste
13:09and I have to identify them,
13:10whereas you're like, I'll do 100,
13:11and then you didn't do 100 and...
13:12It was a bit messy.
13:13But the point was,
13:14you're trying to prove how excellent you are, right?
13:16So, she's picking a small amount of things
13:18and she's picking out of things she already know what they are.
13:20I'm taking anything from the entire universe
13:22and getting it from nowhere.
13:23Kitchen.
13:24So, any time I get a win, that's much more impressive.
13:28OK, so, with my test,
13:29I picked things that were of the same texture,
13:31because you're able to obviously tell it's popcorn in your mouth
13:34because of the texture of it, right?
13:36Yeah.
13:37So, there's one variable that you're allowed to change
13:39within a science experiment
13:40and everything else has to stay consistent.
13:42Yeah.
13:43So, you were changing two things.
13:44You were changing the thing that you were tasting
13:46and you were also changing the texture
13:48of what you were tasting as well.
13:50Those are two different variables
13:52and therefore it's not a proper experiment.
13:54No, but it's just not...
13:55Yours is easier.
13:58No, it wasn't!
13:59Yours is easier!
14:00Yours was easier!
14:02Everyone here is a nerd!
14:05So, Josh, you said you were going to do 100.
14:07You didn't get to 100.
14:08How many did you try, do you think?
14:10As many as Tom would get to me.
14:12OK, which was how many, do you think?
14:14Well, I don't know.
14:16What a fun game.
14:17OK.
14:18Oh, do you want me to guess?
14:19Oh, sorry.
14:20I would say...
14:21Sorry.
14:22Yeah, I know.
14:23Imagine a TV show having... in Jeopardy.
14:26That's thrilling to guess.
14:27It's thrilling.
14:28Please let me guess.
14:29I think that I got...
14:30I think we tried 32.
14:32Pfft, 31.
14:39But let's just take a moment to remember
14:41that wasn't the task.
14:44What stats do you have for their attempts?
14:46Josh got 24 successful guesses out of 31,
14:50putting him at 77.41%.
14:53That's good.
14:55That's very good.
14:56And Jenny got 7 correct out of 9,
14:58which is 77.77%.
15:03But easier.
15:05My Spidey senses tell me there's one more to go.
15:08That is so awesome that you just referenced Spider-Man just then.
15:13For this intro, I will also reference a movie.
15:15Up next, it's Mr Anderson.
15:20I'm going to use the sense of touch.
15:21OK.
15:23I'm going to touch the hand of God, the finger of God.
15:26OK, that's one of the best fingers to touch.
15:28Right?
15:30How amazing, right?
15:31Where are we?
15:32Well, we're in another place,
15:34and I wanted you to be here for this
15:36because I'm about to use my sense of touch
15:38to literally touch the hand, the finger of God.
15:42Well, in this case, I'm going to say
15:44generic male religious deity.
15:46So here we go.
15:47You just stand there, and I'm about to do it.
15:49OK.
15:53OK.
16:04All right, well, if I...
16:05I'm going to enter into your fictional sketch world
16:07since you've turned into Mr Sketch Guy on this show.
16:09It's not a sketch. It's a... Like, it was more a drama.
16:11Yeah, that's what you said last time. It's not true.
16:13Yeah.
16:14You're trying to get a sketch show up on Channel 10.
16:16Everyone knows it.
16:18And all the sketch is a shithouse.
16:21Well, you don't give away your best stuff in your show.
16:29Well, do you believe in God?
16:30Do I personally...?
16:31Remember, you work...
16:33Before you answer, remember, you do work at the ABC as well,
16:35and if you say yes, you'll get fired.
16:41No, no, I believe in all the gods.
16:45So you only touched one out of innumerable gods.
16:50Well, that's fair.
16:51So how many gods are we going to say there are?
16:53It's got to be more than ten.
16:55Oh, there'd be more than ten.
16:56OK.
16:57Well, let's just say more than ten.
16:59That puts Will at less than 10%.
17:01All right, well, that makes it quite easy, then.
17:03Will's on one.
17:05Anne's on two.
17:07Lloyd's on three.
17:08Josh is on four.
17:09Jenny wins on five.
17:10OK.
17:14So what are the final scores for this round?
17:16Well, that means we take two away from Jenny
17:18and two away from Josh because they both chose taste.
17:20All right.
17:21So what are our episode scores looking like now, Little T?
17:24Tied in last place, we've got Josh and Will on three points,
17:27but in the lead with eight, it's Lloyd!
17:29Lloyd's back in it!
17:32OK.
17:33Lesser time, task us up.
17:35It's time to have a gander at people trying to find a gander.
17:48Hello.
17:49Hi, Josh.
17:50Hi, Lloyd.
17:51Twink.
17:52Hello, Tom.
17:53How are you?
17:54I'm OK.
17:55Good.
17:56I'm glad.
17:57Ducks and numbers.
17:58And different coloured bows.
18:00I have a good feeling about this.
18:02Oh, it's so long.
18:04We're in a game of duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose.
18:10Interrogate these ducks...
18:12..then correctly accuse the winner.
18:15Interrogate these ducks...
18:17..then correctly accuse the one that is secretly a goose.
18:21Tom, you've lost me already.
18:23Oh.
18:24And there's so much more to go.
18:26There are two gangs of birds.
18:28One gang wears blue, the other wears red.
18:30A yes?
18:31One gang always tells the truth, the other always lies.
18:34You may ask each bird one yes or no question
18:38and not the same question twice.
18:42Official accusation.
18:44The goose successfully accused after the fewest questions wins.
18:49Your time starts now.
18:51How much time?
18:52As long as it takes.
18:53And under there is duck pocket dictionary.
18:56Duck English.
18:57English duck.
18:58You've outdone yourself, Tom.
19:03So, it's a logic puzzle, really.
19:06Using limited yes or no questions,
19:08the comedians have to discover the imposter duck.
19:11Straightforward, I think we should get straight into it.
19:13Let's do it.
19:14Will they duck and leave or take a successful goose step?
19:16It's Will and Lloyd.
19:17Quack equals yes.
19:19Quack, quack equals no.
19:21Hmm, interesting.
19:23Duck number seven, are you wearing a blue bow tie?
19:28Quack, quack.
19:29Duck number five, is my name Lloyd Langford?
19:33Quack, quack.
19:36You son of a bitch.
19:37That is no.
19:40Which means the blue team or the lion team?
19:42I'm going to say duck number six.
19:44My question to you is, is the goose on your side with a red bow tie?
19:49Red.
19:50Quack, quack is yes.
19:51And they always tell the truth.
19:53The goose is red.
19:54Duck number four, are you the goose?
19:57Quack, quack.
19:58That's the truth.
19:59It's not number four.
20:01Duck number seven, is the goose on a number that is divisible by four?
20:08Quack, quack.
20:09He said no, so it is.
20:10The goose has to be duck number four or duck number eight.
20:14Duck number eight, is duck number two the goose?
20:17Quack, quack.
20:18Number one, is number eight the goose?
20:20Quack, quack.
20:21That's a no, which I'm going to take as a lie.
20:24Sure, I'll direct this question to number eight.
20:28Number eight, are you the goose?
20:32Quack.
20:33Number eight, I accuse you of being the goose.
20:38Your accusation is correct.
20:40Yeah.
20:41Thanks, Tom.
20:48So, finally, some male comedians got to make some accusations.
20:57Felt pretty novel to me.
20:59So, you both did pretty well there, I think.
21:01Felt like I could have gone a bit quicker.
21:03There was a couple of wasted questions
21:05where I could have narrowed it down a little bit more.
21:08How did you go, Lloyd?
21:09I absolutely loved it.
21:14What did you love about it, Lloyd?
21:15It was like a puzzle.
21:17There were rules to it and there was logic
21:20and there were no silly little surprises.
21:25So, let's not forget the point of the task.
21:27It's the least number of questions.
21:29So, how many questions did they ask?
21:31Will asked eight questions in total
21:33before successfully accusing the goose.
21:35Lloyd asked four questions.
21:43Well, my goose is cooked.
21:45That's not an expression. I've cooked up.
21:47I hold goose backstage as I do every episode.
21:50You watch some ads, I'll go carve it up
21:52and we'll see you after this.
22:03Welcome back to Taskmaster,
22:05the show that is taking the simple childhood game Duck, Duck, Goose
22:09and turning it into a logistical nightmare
22:11involving courtroom accusations and a pocket dictionary.
22:14Tom, care to explain?
22:16Our contestants are trying to find the secret goose amongst the ducks.
22:19We've already learnt that the red team always tells the truth
22:22and that number eight on the red team is secretly the goose.
22:25OK, who's next?
22:26Like when you threw those five lamps at me in the green room earlier,
22:29it's all about to duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.
22:32And Josh?
22:33Quack, yes. Quack, quack, no.
22:35I'm going to make you quack.
22:37This feels more like just a dumb prop than it being important.
22:40What's a notebook?
22:41Eight.
22:42Are you something that starts with G?
22:44Quack.
22:45I'm not going to fall for that.
22:49So the first thing is to deduce who's lying, who's telling the truth.
22:52Duck number seven, are you on the blue team?
22:55Quack, quack.
22:56Are you something that starts with G?
22:58Oh. Quack.
22:59Now I'm really, um, confused.
23:01Number five, am I wearing white shoes?
23:04Quack, quack.
23:05I actually have no idea.
23:07You know when you go into a parallel universe?
23:10That's how I feel, I'm like...
23:12Number three, is the sky red?
23:15Quack.
23:16So I'm assuming that the one quack corresponds to a yes
23:19and the two quacks corresponds to a no, or the other way round.
23:21OK.
23:22But along the way I forgot what I did, even though I wrote it down.
23:25Are you number five?
23:27Quack, quack.
23:28I mean, that was an absolute waste of time.
23:30Was it?
23:31I'm trying to work out who's a liar and who isn't.
23:33How many quacks were there?
23:34But I genuinely can't remember.
23:36Might be having some sort of episode.
23:40Number 10, are you not a duck?
23:43Quack, quack.
23:44I think I've misunderstood something.
23:46I think the blues are the liars, but what does that matter?
23:49Like, what am I doing?
23:51If they're a liar or not, what do I care?
23:53Number 90, would you say that a male version of you is a gander?
23:58Quack.
23:59Quack.
24:01Can I make an accusations now?
24:03At any time you can make an official accusation if you'd like.
24:05Number 10 is the goose.
24:07Is that your official accusation?
24:08Yeah.
24:09That's incorrect.
24:12So, two to a red is a yes and one is a no.
24:16OK.
24:17How many do I have left?
24:18One question left.
24:19It's all riding on this.
24:20Hey, eight, are you much bigger than a duck?
24:24Quack.
24:25My official accusation is that eight is the goose.
24:28That is a correct accusation.
24:30Did I get it?
24:31Yes!
24:32I worked it out!
24:36Thanks, Anne.
24:37See you later.
24:38Thank you.
24:42What they're cheering exactly, I do not know.
24:45I mean, so, Anne.
24:47Yes.
24:48Just to be clear.
24:49Yes.
24:50You asked the goose first, do you start with the letter G,
24:53and it said yes.
24:54Yeah.
24:55I feel like with this task, I would need to take that information
25:01that is in the task and go away for a year.
25:09Once I'd asked someone and they said they lied,
25:12I then didn't know who I'd already asked.
25:14I know I should have written things down.
25:16I know a lot of things now, you know, that I didn't know then.
25:20Because you read the dictionary.
25:22I did, yeah.
25:23So you knew what they were saying.
25:24One quack was yes and two quacks were no or something.
25:26Everybody else opened the dictionary where it said
25:29one quack equals yes, two quacks equals no.
25:31Josh looked in a different page, saw nothing, said,
25:34oh, it's a notebook, at no point knew which one was yes
25:37and which one wasn't, and was writing down questions
25:40as true questions and false answered questions
25:43and somehow got the answer anyway.
25:48Yeah.
25:50So I spent the first half trying to learn duck.
25:54Yeah.
25:55With a dictionary in your hand.
25:57Yeah.
25:58Alright, so how many questions did they ask?
26:01Well, Anne asked five questions to get an unsuccessful accusation.
26:04Josh asked ten questions and successfully accused the goose.
26:08OK.
26:11Alright, we've got one more high-octane legal stoush to watch.
26:15Will she be out for a duck or will she goose correctly?
26:18It's Jenny Tan.
26:19So, obvious questions to get out of the way
26:22is I could interrogate them straight up and ask one of them,
26:25are you the goose?
26:27But that would be like a one-by-one process of elimination.
26:30You know what, I'll just start there as a potential question I could ask.
26:34These are potential questions, not actual questions?
26:36No.
26:37The other way to eliminate it is to kind of try and figure out
26:40which teams are the truth-tellers and which ones are the liars.
26:44Oh, my God, this is breaking my brain.
26:47Do you see what I'm doing?
26:49No.
26:50I'm really regretting giving you a pen.
26:52I will eventually make a guess, by the way.
26:54OK.
26:55I'm not going to sleep here.
26:57OK. Yeah.
27:01Oh!
27:03I don't even know where to start.
27:06I'm going to take a walk around.
27:08Where are you going to go?
27:10Around.
27:11I just need to think about something that's not ducks for a moment.
27:14Oh!
27:16You know, cos the people that are obsessed with Werdl are, like,
27:19really into it, so they're usually, like, quite good at it, you know?
27:22Totally. Yeah.
27:23Perhaps we ask one of these birds a question.
27:25Yeah. How long have I been doing this?
27:27We've been here for 42 minutes.
27:29Would you also like an update on how many questions you've asked?
27:32Yeah.
27:33We're at zero.
27:35All right, this is my official question.
27:39Wait, what was the sign for...?
27:41Yes or no?
27:43Number 10, are you on the team with the goose?
27:47So it's either lying or it's telling the truth.
27:51So what have we learned?
27:53I'm not getting anywhere closer!
27:56So if I asked, is the goose next...
27:59No, I shouldn't say the goose.
28:01They all lead me to the same thing!
28:04Let's just keep entertaining hypotheticals.
28:08LAUGHTER
28:12Um, number one, are you on the team without the goose?
28:17Yes.
28:19To number three, is number 10 the goose?
28:22Yes.
28:24Is number 10 a duck?
28:27Yes.
28:28So then if number two was protecting number 10 and lying to me
28:33and I asked, is number 10 a duck, then it would say yes.
28:37I am ready for my accusation.
28:39You're going to make an accusation?
28:41What, you want me to ask more questions?
28:43No!
28:44OK, number 10, I accuse you of being a goose.
28:50Your accusation is incorrect.
28:52No!
28:54LAUGHTER
28:58That was so depressing.
29:00APPLAUSE
29:07LAUGHTER
29:14I mean, I've never seen someone work so hard for such a bad result.
29:18So how many pages did you fill of that notebook?
29:21Because I was trying to figure out, like, the probability
29:24and at no point did it occur to me
29:26that I could ask the ducks and the goose questions
29:30other than about each other.
29:33So then I was drawing matrices
29:35and I think I drew six matrices.
29:38Jenny was drawing a grid system with ten rows and ten columns
29:43thinking about, yeah...
29:47..thinking about the combinations of what,
29:49which is how you solve some problems.
29:52It's weird because it's, like, so much smarter than me
29:56but it's so dumb.
29:58Yes!
29:59Can you understand how frustrated I felt when you got it?
30:03LAUGHTER
30:05With absolutely no logic.
30:09Jenny took a total of one hour, 26 minutes and 49 seconds.
30:14In season one, Danielle Walker's attempt at passwords
30:17took one hour and 54 minutes
30:19but that is the second longest I've spent during a task.
30:25Alright, well, we've got to put the scores together
30:28so straight up, Anne and Jenny are out with zero.
30:30They get zero.
30:31Josh gets three points because he took ten questions
30:33to get the correct accusation.
30:35Will gets four points because he asked eight questions
30:37and Lloyd gets the five points with only four questions asked.
30:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:43Alright, it's time we take another break.
30:45Why? Well, it's simple economics.
30:47The less time I spend on your screens,
30:50the more my hourly rate goes up.
30:52I host Smarter Not Harder.
30:54See you in a tick.
30:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:05Welcome back to Taskmaster,
31:07where our contestants are trying their darndest
31:09to win a cup of ramen and Lloyd Langford.
31:12Mmm.
31:14Dinner and dessert.
31:15LAUGHTER
31:17What's next, Lester-Tom?
31:19They've fumbled their senses, they've bumbled through a trial
31:22and this next task, they'll try to stumble into a chance occurrence.
31:26MUSIC
31:38KNOCKING
31:39It's me. Hello, mate.
31:41Hi, Will. Hey, Sugar.
31:43Hi, Josh.
31:44Hey, Tom. Hi, Jenny.
31:46Ah, what's this all about?
31:48Whales.
31:51Whales.
31:53I mean, it's a clue of some kind, I imagine.
31:55Is there another word for it?
31:56Like the literal whale tail?
31:58Or are we talking about the bit of undies
32:00that sometimes stick up the back of...
32:02Have you heard that described as, like, you know,
32:04if your G-string's out the back of your pants?
32:06I rarely wear a G-string.
32:08But, I mean, you would have maybe observed this
32:10and they will often call that a whale tail.
32:12They call that a whale tail.
32:13We're of different generation.
32:14And when I see something like that, I look away.
32:17Don't accuse me of looking more closely at it.
32:20You've got a name for it. That's how much you're looking.
32:22OK. Interesting.
32:24Fluke something.
32:26Biggest fluke wins. You have 30 minutes.
32:28Your time starts now!
32:30Fluke, in this context, does not mean whale tail.
32:34Just a bit of a pun.
32:35Fluke is just, like,
32:36you do really well at something accidentally.
32:38That's right.
32:39Do you have any sharp knives?
32:40Cos there's a target over there.
32:43I mean, there's a target over there, but that seems obvious.
32:45I feel like a lot of people are throwing things at stuff.
32:47Yep.
32:48Boring.
32:50APPLAUSE
32:53Yeah, so you've got to get lucky with something, pretty much.
32:56That's right.
32:57The definition of fluke is an unlikely chance occurrence,
32:59especially a surprising piece of luck.
33:01Well, thinking of the career trajectories of the comedians,
33:04it's all down to right place, right time.
33:07So as professional flukers, this should be easy.
33:09Cashman, who's up?
33:10They're lucky in love,
33:11but can they be lucky when push comes to shove?
33:13It's Anne and Lloyd.
33:15So maybe let's get some sharp knives.
33:17This feels dangerous.
33:20I go downstairs.
33:22I'll give you a certain distance
33:23where you can move along and drop this.
33:25I'm only allowed to turn around once it's been dropped.
33:28Does that make sense?
33:29No.
33:30I reckon it does.
33:31Have you thrown a knife before?
33:32Nope.
33:36Are you going to try again?
33:37No, I'm going to give up and go home.
33:39OK, I've got small mandarins.
33:41Drop.
33:43Ooh!
33:44Drop.
33:51Tell you what,
33:52this has given me a lot more respect for circus folk.
33:54How much respect did you have before?
33:56Barely any.
34:02I paid a compliment to the circus folk and they delivered.
34:06Do you feel skilful?
34:07I mean, that was clearly a fluke.
34:09To prove it was a fluke,
34:10now I'm going to do 17 minutes of missing again.
34:14Where is he? Drop.
34:15Ah!
34:18You got it?
34:20Yes!
34:24There's no way to celebrate.
34:31I have a newfound respect for all circus performers,
34:34carnival folk, clowns, rollercoaster operators.
34:39I think you do a wonderful job
34:41and it's easy to overlook the difficulties you face every day.
34:45I didn't hear an apology in there.
34:47I'm sorry.
34:51OK, Lloyd, so if you do something over and over again
34:54until you get it right, is that a fluke or is that just practice?
34:57It was definitely a fluke.
34:59Tom will attest to that
35:00because I must have done it 100 times and it went in once.
35:04You did it 67 times, so you did 20 attempts,
35:06you got it on the 20th and then you did 47 more
35:09to prove it was more of a fluke so you had more attempts.
35:13If what you're saying was true,
35:15I would have got better and actually got worse.
35:20So what would have you done if when you kept throwing it again
35:24you got it in a second time?
35:26I would have quit the show and joined a circus.
35:35Anne, I feel like given your results in all the other tasks to this point,
35:40even you just winning anything would be a fluke.
35:44Fluke implies to me like fate or divine intervention.
35:47Oh.
35:48So the fact that Tom and I crossed at a certain point
35:52and he dropped the mandarin and I was there,
35:54to me is the pure definition of fluke.
35:57Actually, that wasn't a mandarin, it was a banana.
36:06Anne successfully caught the mandarin on her fourth attempt.
36:09Fluke-ish.
36:10Because I also feel like if you were trying to catch it,
36:13you wouldn't have.
36:15Are you the goose?
36:19APPLAUSE
36:21OK, who's next?
36:23While I never say no to a lucky dip,
36:25these two want to avoid a dip in luck.
36:27It's Josh and Will.
36:28I'd like a beer.
36:29Oh, yeah.
36:30Shall we have a beer while I try and figure this out?
36:3211th of September.
36:34Oh, no, no, September 11, that's the wrong...
36:36That was a fluke to you?
36:37No, no, no, I was going to just try and guess your birthday
36:40and I'm not sure why September 11 came up.
36:43I'm going to throw the zebra
36:45and the fluke is going to be if that's entertaining.
36:47OK.
36:51Was that entertaining?
36:52It was horrific.
36:53Donald.
36:55Your dad's name.
36:56No.
36:57Circumcised.
36:58Me or my dad.
36:59I mean, again, that's just the 50-50.
37:02You can tell me later, though, cos now I am curious.
37:04Do you want to know now?
37:05Yeah, all right.
37:07Oh, OK.
37:08If I throw this and it lands upright
37:10and all the flowers are still in, then I win.
37:14What happens if you don't do that?
37:16Well, then we have to just keep walking around in a malaise
37:19trying to figure out how to do a fluke.
37:21In a malaise?
37:22Is that the right word? Google it.
37:24If you Google it and I've used the word malaise correctly,
37:26that feels like my entry so far.
37:28A general feeling of discomfort, illness or unease.
37:30No, I got it wrong.
37:31We're getting really towards the end.
37:33I mean, we've only got, like, one minute and 28 seconds to go.
37:3724.
37:38Oh!
37:39Do you want to ask me the definition of another word
37:41that you think I wouldn't get?
37:42Hoi polloi.
37:43Hoi polloi, I know the answer to,
37:44but I also don't know what to tell you.
37:46That's a lot of hoi polloi, a lot of hoity-toity nonsense.
37:49Oh, it means the common people generally.
37:51Hubris.
37:52Hubris is when you believe in yourself too much.
37:54I listed hubris just then when I told you I knew what hoi polloi meant.
37:57OK, yeah, overbearing pride.
37:58Thomas Cashman. Do you have a middle name?
38:00Yep.
38:01Yeah, OK.
38:02James. Thomas James Cashman.
38:04Correct.
38:05Oh!
38:06All right, OK.
38:07Martinette.
38:08It's a type of curtain.
38:09Someone who demands exact conformity to rules and forms.
38:12That's you.
38:13You're a bloody Martinette.
38:14Convivial.
38:15Convivial is when you're getting along,
38:17you're trying to get along.
38:18Enjoyable atmosphere or jovial company.
38:20That was right.
38:21Did you know it?
38:22I think I did know it, if I'm being honest with you.
38:24OK.
38:25And I feel like, you know, maybe for this last 28 seconds...
38:28Yeah.
38:29..we should...
38:30Ah!
38:31Yes!
38:32Well, I failed, but I did get a beer.
38:34Yeah.
38:35On to the next one.
38:36Thanks, Josh.
38:37APPLAUSE
38:40All right, so, Will, you had many attempts at a fluke.
38:44Which one are you going to run with?
38:46I honestly think the build-up to that last one,
38:49like, by the Lloyd logic of how many times you get it wrong
38:52proves that it's a fluke when you actually get it right.
38:55It was my last attempt and I got it wrong so many times
38:58up until that point.
38:59I celebrated by clapping my hands together so hard
39:02that the next day when I went to set I had a bruise on my...
39:05LAUGHTER
39:08OK, so, Josh... Hey, babe.
39:10..no flukes for you.
39:11It seemed to me you just wandered around the paddock
39:13just saying stuff.
39:15The original fluke I was going with was,
39:17if I throw this and it's entertaining, then that wins.
39:21And I threw the zebra and the zebra is in the opening titles.
39:28So, that's got to be a highlight.
39:32LAUGHTER
39:34It's a pretty good argument.
39:36But at the same time, it's not a fluke
39:38that something by you was in the opening credits
39:40because you're in the show.
39:42If Hannah Gadsby was in the opening credits,
39:44that would be a fluke.
39:46No, no, no, but that moment, of all the moments,
39:49how many weeks were we filming out there?
39:51Like, nine and a half...
39:52One. ..months.
39:54We were out there, walking around the field.
39:57The fact that that moment made it in the opening titles,
40:00without context, has to be the absolute best result
40:04I could possibly ask for in this.
40:06OK. Alright, would you look at that?
40:08I just spotted Cashman giving the secret signal
40:11that he needs to apply his emergency fungal cream.
40:14And I spotted it right at the ad break.
40:17That's right. Fluke perfect timing. See you soon.
40:30Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show built on comedians
40:33fluking their way through tasks outside their ability.
40:36Cashman, what's going on?
40:38We're watching Fluke's Biggest Fluke Wins.
40:41OK, that means there's one more to go.
40:43Yes, will she be lucky last or just last?
40:45It's Jenny Tien.
40:47Have you ever fluked something before?
40:49Oh, constantly.
40:51What do you think I'm bad at?
40:52What do I think you're bad at?
40:54This is a trap.
40:55Um, successfully accusing a goose.
40:58LAUGHTER
41:01I'm pretty bad at that.
41:03Could we set up the dark, dark goose thing again?
41:05Do you want to do that? Yeah.
41:07Oh, my God, you're going to break me again.
41:09But if you got it right, imagine.
41:11Imagine.
41:21Welcome back, Jenny.
41:22I am ready for my redemption.
41:24You've got to fluke it with one successful accusation.
41:26Alright, here we go.
41:28Number five.
41:30I accuse you of being a goose.
41:34That's incorrect.
41:35No!
41:37LAUGHTER
41:39Oh!
41:41Thanks, Jenny.
41:43Oh!
41:45APPLAUSE
41:55LAUGHTER
41:59So, no fluke for you.
42:01No, but I tried so hard.
42:04So, just to be clear,
42:06you got zero from the same task twice in the one episode.
42:11Look, I'm not going to lie.
42:13I did try to draw another matrix.
42:15LAUGHTER
42:19No!
42:21Come on, we can only take so much pain.
42:23I mean, Jenny, would you like to make a successful accusation now?
42:27Wait, what?
42:29Do you remember which one was the goose?
42:31You just accused the goose.
42:33Oh!
42:34Honey.
42:35Right.
42:36LAUGHTER
42:37So, I accuse number eight.
42:39Oh, my God!
42:40OK, I get what you're doing!
42:42APPLAUSE
42:46OK, so I have to hand out some scores for this, don't I?
42:48That's right.
42:49Alright, so it's zero, zero to Josh and Jenny,
42:52cos they were flukeless.
42:54I mean, I don't buy Josh's logic about being in the opening credits.
42:57If I say, if this is entertaining, that's a fluke,
42:59and then you put it in the opening titles of the show,
43:01that's a crazy fluke.
43:03I understand what you're saying,
43:04but you're presuming that the opening credits are entertaining
43:06and they may not be.
43:08And I can prove that they're not,
43:10because when they're on Paramount Plus...
43:12LAUGHTER
43:14..there's a little logo that says Skip Credits
43:16and a lot of people press it.
43:18And, in fact, it comes up when your bit's on.
43:21Skip Credits. Bang. Gone.
43:24So that's zero to Josh.
43:26LAUGHTER
43:28Three points to Will,
43:29because I feel like there wasn't much time left,
43:31so there were only so many seconds you could have guessed.
43:34Four points to Lloyd.
43:35I respect that you just kept throwing that knife and missing.
43:37That was a very risky endeavour.
43:39If you'd got it in one more time, that would have ruined the whole thing.
43:41But five points goes to Anne, cos that was a massive fluke.
43:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:47OK, listen, Tom, have you got the episode scores?
43:50Josh are both on six points up the back,
43:52but Lloyd is in the lead with 17 points for the episode.
43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:57OK.
43:59When one task closes, another task opens.
44:02And in this case, that big screen is also going to open,
44:05because it's time for the live task.
44:07So go on, everyone. On stage.
44:13OK, this looks like a children's party with no children.
44:16What are we looking at, Lesser Tom?
44:19LAUGHTER
44:27Is that part of it? That was not part of it.
44:29Are you sure?
44:30Will, if you could please read the task.
44:32I can.
44:34While holding your jars of hundreds and thousands,
44:36walk through the door, then put your party hat on,
44:39then pull on your fun pants, then unwrap your present,
44:44then blow your party blower.
44:47You must keep one jar of hundreds and thousands
44:49in each hand at all times.
44:52You have 120 seconds.
44:54Most hundreds and thousands remaining in jars wins.
44:57Oh, we're going to look bloody ridiculous.
45:00Ready, set...
45:02WHISTLE BLOWS
45:04LAUGHTER
45:06CHEERING
45:08CHEERING
45:12LAUGHTER
45:16Oh, wait, it goes this way.
45:18CHEERING
45:24LAUGHTER
45:30Anyone there to help?
45:32LAUGHTER
45:35I don't... I can't...
45:40CHEERING
45:42A sacrifice has been made here by Will.
45:44I can't get the hat on.
45:49One minute remaining.
45:51One minute? I haven't done nothing!
45:54How do we do it?
45:56LAUGHTER
46:0350 seconds.
46:05CHEERING
46:12LAUGHTER
46:2230 seconds.
46:24CHEERING
46:3120 seconds.
46:3810 seconds.
46:465...
46:484...
46:503...
46:522...
46:541.
46:56WHISTLE BLOWS
47:00Very good.
47:02All right, we'll measure up those hundreds and thousands
47:04after the break.
47:05See you soon.
47:07CHEERING
47:15Welcome back again.
47:17You're about to witness the exciting conclusion to Taskmaster.
47:20Each team will pick their own parties
47:22by spilling the hundreds and thousands.
47:24Tom, who will be number one and who are the zeroes?
47:28Well, Jenny has been disqualified
47:30because you did not complete the course.
47:32The rest of you did complete the course
47:34and what we're measuring here is how many hundreds and thousands
47:37were remaining in your jars.
47:39Will came fourth with 292,272 hundreds and thousands
47:45Jane in third place with 423,820 hundreds and thousands.
47:51I thought it was about that. I thought that, yeah.
47:54I looked at it.
47:55Lloyd, second place, with 524,209 hundreds and thousands.
48:00Josh gets five points with 557,231 hundreds and thousands.
48:07Right.
48:09Rather exciting, but let's waste no more time.
48:11What does that do to the final scores?
48:14Tom is down on six points, a score I would have called Josh-esque,
48:18but Josh is on 11, Will is on 12, Anne on 15,
48:21but with an enormous win, it's the medium-sized Welshman,
48:24Lloyd, on 21 points.
48:26CHEERING
48:29Get on stage, Lloyd, and Anne, you'd better get up there too
48:32because you're a prize.
48:36And listen, Tom, is it not time to have a look
48:39at the ladder for the whole season?
48:41Boo!
48:43Well, there's a lot of numbers up there.
48:45It can be a lot to compute, but the way I like to look at it,
48:47Jenny has the lowest number, so she's doing badly,
48:49and Lloyd has the highest number, so he's the leader.
48:52CHEERING
48:54All right, expert analysis, Tom.
48:56It's inspired me to also offer some insight about what I've learnt.
49:00Lloyd learnt that if it looks like a mandarin
49:02and sounds like a banana, then it's a mandarin.
49:05And we all learnt that if it looks like a goose
49:08and quacks like a goose, Anne Edmonds doesn't give a shit.
49:13Give it up once more for our winner, Lloyd,
49:16and we'll see you next week.
49:32Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
49:37Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
49:40Oh, no!
49:45I do feel silly.