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Taskmaster AU S02E07

Taskmaster AU S02E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x91yl7y

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Transcript
00:00ah
00:30Hello, welcome to the highly anticipated seventh episode of Taskmaster Australia.
00:43It's the show that answers the burning question, what if comedians had feelings?
00:47And what if the man hosting them did not give a single shit about those feelings?
00:52I am that host, and yes, I am who you think I am, the man who killed and is wearing the
00:57skin of Tom Gleeson.
01:02Sitting in front of me, as always, are five sweet, innocent children between the ages
01:07of 29 and 50.
01:09They are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Tian, Judge Thomas, Lloyd Langford, and Will Anderson.
01:24And here beside me, a man who I'd love to get to know better if his dressing room didn't
01:30smell so much of Nutri-Grain.
01:33It's my assistant, Lesser Tom.
01:35G'day, mate, how are you going?
01:39I'm not too bad, I've always wanted to be one of those guys that everyone knows can
01:43do a backflip.
01:44So I've been practising, not backflips, because that's too hard, I've been practising telling
01:49people I can do a backflip.
01:52I can do a backflip.
01:54Alright, Sugar Lips, sweeten the air with details of our prize task, please.
02:01Tonight, our comedians have been asked to bring in a thing that is great to have one
02:05of, but gets progressively worse the more you have.
02:08Oh, OK.
02:09Jenny, what have you brought in?
02:11I have brought in the Plan B pill, because if you have one, then, you know, it like saves
02:21you, right?
02:22But then if you have multiple, then it is a little bit worse.
02:27And it's called the Plan B pill, not Plan B to Z.
02:31When you said saves you, you meant saves you from the blessing of having children.
02:40It didn't sound right, did it?
02:44So not more than once?
02:46No, not more than once.
02:47And also, my dad is in the crowd tonight, so if he asks...
02:54So it was a hypothetical, wasn't it?
02:56Exactly.
02:57I don't know what that is at all.
02:58I've never taken one in my life.
02:59OK.
03:00Will?
03:01Oh, I'm happy with this.
03:02The more you have, the worse it gets.
03:04The nose.
03:05It's great to have one nose, you have two noses, suddenly they start getting closer
03:12to smellier places.
03:13But I thought you probably couldn't imagine what it would be like if someone had a lot
03:16of noses, so I just thought I'd bring this in.
03:25So you use medical marijuana for your pain, yeah?
03:28Yes.
03:29This more than one nose, it sounds like stoner talk to me.
03:32Oh man, imagine having more than one nose.
03:37Well it certainly wouldn't be cocaine talk, because no one would want to...
03:45Right Lloyd, what have you got?
03:46I chose a human skull.
03:51It's absolutely fine to have one skull on the mantelpiece or something in your house,
03:59it would be like a curiosity, but the more you have, the more you're getting into serial
04:05killer territory.
04:06If, for example, you went, do you want to come down to my basement and see all my skulls?
04:12I would be like, no, I'm going.
04:15What did you bring in, Anne?
04:16I brought in a Strongbow.
04:21The first time I got drunk, I snuck out of my parents' house through the window, went
04:25to a park, and I drank eight Strongbows.
04:30Then I came home and I was just vomiting out of the open window all night.
04:35I saw the face of God, and he loves Strongbow.
04:41But it's disgusting.
04:42Okay, Josh, what did you bring in?
04:45Buttholes.
04:46What's that supposed to be?
04:53As a butthole.
04:54A butthole?
04:55Or your...
04:56Was it you?
04:57It doesn't matter who it is.
05:02It's kind of like the nose in many ways, but I didn't do a photo composition of him with
05:11heaps and heaps of buttholes.
05:13And thank you for that.
05:14Yeah.
05:15All right, well, I should allocate some points.
05:17Well, I'm thinking Will's nose gets one point because it's stoner-talked.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:22That is like my best prize of the whole season.
05:26For no one?
05:28Yeah, one.
05:29Josh is going to get two points for his butthole, three points to Lloyd for the skull because
05:32it creeped me out a bit, and four points for the cider because I agree, one cider's enough,
05:36even half.
05:37But Bland B, pal.
05:38I mean, you don't want one more of those.
05:40Five points to Jenny.
05:41Okay.
05:42All right, I've said it before and I'll say it again, that's enough cider and buttholes
05:49for one night.
05:50Let's get into the good stuff.
05:51Tom?
05:52Sure thing.
05:53It's time for our contestants to pull their socks up to pull them down.
06:08Hi, Jenny.
06:09Hey, Tom.
06:10Kareem.
06:11Hi, Lloyd.
06:12Hello, Tom.
06:13Hi, Will.
06:14What's going on here?
06:15It's just a bunch of socks on the house.
06:17I can see that.
06:25Find the minivan in the sock.
06:30Oh.
06:32Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
06:34You may not enter the house.
06:35Your time starts now.
06:37Oh, flip me.
06:39What?
06:40Find the minivan in the sock.
06:44Well, I'm gonna go check out the caravan.
06:47Okay.
06:48Yeah.
06:49I don't see any socks.
06:52Is the hook helping?
06:53I mean, I'm not allowed to enter a house and this is technically a house.
06:56You're allowed to enter.
06:57Oh.
06:58I don't really see anything.
07:01I don't see any socks here.
07:04Okay.
07:05Well.
07:06Oh.
07:11I see what's happened.
07:17Hello.
07:18Jenny, do you think your father is proud of you?
07:22Well, people often lose a few socks here and there,
07:24but I don't think anyone's lost that many before.
07:27Yeah, but in my mind, a minivan and a caravan were like the same thing.
07:32And I just thought, wow, it's probably gonna be like a really easy,
07:35quick find and I'll go into the caravan to find the caravan
07:39that I was supposed to find,
07:40not realising that a caravan and a minivan are different vehicles,
07:43which, yes.
07:45Well, if we've got nothing else out of this task,
07:47you've learnt that a caravan and a minivan are two different things.
07:51Alright.
07:52Well, who's first?
07:53Two of them have athlete's feet.
07:54The other just has tinnier.
07:56It's Jenny, Anne and Lloyd.
07:59There's a minivan in a sock.
08:01Okay.
08:06Oh, look at that.
08:10Can I keep that for my daughter?
08:11Yeah.
08:14My daughter would love that.
08:15You think?
08:16Yeah.
08:17I can't be bothered removing all these socks.
08:19That's just too many.
08:20I'm just trying to figure out inconsistency in pattern.
08:25A horse and a trailer.
08:26Can she have that as well?
08:27Okay, nice one.
08:31One of those guys?
08:32A van?
08:33Yeah.
08:34It's an aeroplane.
08:36I'm not even going to ask you anymore.
08:37She's having that.
08:38Hello, Tom.
08:40Who's this?
08:41F*** you.
08:42I wonder if it's the number of stripes at the top,
08:45because that one has three.
08:46There's one sock that has three stripes on it.
08:50If you could just pick up the giraffe.
08:53I'm having trouble.
08:54I got it, I got it.
08:55Oh.
08:56Oh, I hear something inside.
08:59Oh.
09:01That's not a minivan.
09:02No.
09:03You really need a lot of upper body strength for this one.
09:06Yeah.
09:11Lift your trotter leg up.
09:21May I have a look at your socks, please?
09:23What do you mean?
09:24I'm quite pissed off.
09:25I don't like it when I can't solve things.
09:27To be fair to you, I'm in a bit of pain as well.
09:29Oh, are you?
09:30Why are you in pain?
09:34Blast it.
09:35What's in there, Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom?
09:37You're just desperate to get your feet out on television.
09:42Oh, you've double knotted them, you nerd.
09:47Minivan in the sock.
09:51Is that a minivan?
09:52I hope so.
09:53I'll never find it, no.
09:56Yay, I found it.
10:02Okay.
10:03So, Anne and Lloyd, we get it.
10:05You've got a daughter.
10:07Yeah, I've just been thinking about how much she plays with that minivan
10:10and where it's been.
10:11Oh, right.
10:12So, all the toys made it back to your daughter?
10:14Yeah, that's all she's got, just those toys.
10:17Now, Jenny, you said that Lester Tom here was a nerd
10:20because he double knotted his shoelaces.
10:22Yeah.
10:23How brutal were the bullies at your school?
10:25Double knotting's a nerd activity.
10:27It is.
10:28So specific.
10:29Also, it's nerdy if you've tied a double knot
10:31when you know the next thing.
10:32If you know that what's going to happen that day
10:34is that Jenny is going to have to get down and untie your shoes,
10:37tying a double knot, I wouldn't say it's nerdy.
10:39That's full creep mode, man.
10:42You just want to keep her down there as long as you can
10:45doing feet knots.
10:47I would like to make it very clear
10:49that the double knot was not specific to Jenny.
10:52I actually... He had a combination lock on his shoelace.
10:56I was down there for 45 minutes.
10:59Now, Jenny and Lloyd, you both found the sock with three stripes.
11:02Lloyd, did you not think to look for the other one?
11:04Socks come in pairs, so did you not think to...?
11:07I think I was caught up in the giddiness
11:09of getting new toys for Gwen.
11:12I found the sock with the three stripes
11:14and then when there was a car inside the sock,
11:17then I started thinking about,
11:19there's got to be another three-striped sock.
11:21So that is what led you to look at my foot?
11:23Yeah, I wasn't just thinking,
11:25oh, I'm never going to be able to solve this task,
11:27I'll just enjoy an erotic moment with your...
11:30..with your foot.
11:32I started thinking about other socks
11:34and where the minivan could be
11:36and I distinctly remembered that day
11:38I hadn't put a minivan in my own sock.
11:41Alright, what are the scores so far?
11:43So Lloyd removed six socks from the house
11:46before discovering the minivan in my sock.
11:48Anne only removed two socks from the house
11:50and was finished in just four minutes and 40 seconds.
11:53Jenny took 38 minutes and 45 seconds
11:57but still only removed two socks from the house,
11:59so tied with Anne.
12:01OK.
12:02Well, we're due a little ad break,
12:04which should be just enough time to check
12:06what your significant other's been hiding
12:08in their sock this whole time.
12:10Hopefully it's a yummy treat just for you.
12:12We'll see you soon.
12:17APPLAUSE
12:22Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:24It's the show single-handedly keeping
12:26the long sock grabby stick industry afloat.
12:29What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:31Our contestants are trying to find a sock with a minivan in it.
12:34There are 155 socks up on the house and one on my foot.
12:37Alright, who's up next?
12:39He's about to be socked in the face with having to face some socks.
12:42It's Will Anderson.
12:44Why a minivan, Tom?
12:46Is there, like, a fun play on words there or something that I'm missing?
12:49One of these socks?
12:51Like, there's not another sock somewhere that the minivan is in.
12:54That's the sort of tricky thing that you would do.
12:56I'm just going to check there's not another sock somewhere first.
12:59OK.
13:01Tom, you seem to be limping.
13:03Is there a minivan in your sock?
13:05I couldn't possibly say.
13:07Oh, you know what the problem is? That's why you're limping,
13:09because I believe there is a minivan in your sock.
13:13Sorry to everyone who went to all that fuss,
13:16putting all those socks up there.
13:18This sock was not on the house.
13:20Thanks, Will. Thanks, Tom.
13:28Will, why do you have to suck the joy out of this show?
13:31We're supposed to watch you struggle.
13:33It's OK. There's more sketch comedy to come in this season.
13:36There's heaps more struggles. Don't worry.
13:38Allow me this small victory.
13:41Alright, so how many socks was that?
13:43Well, there are 155 socks in total up on the house.
13:46Yep.
13:47Will took down zero of them.
13:52Alright, it always gives me a nice feeling when we've got one left.
13:56No!
13:58And we've already seen someone nail it, so...
14:03Who's last?
14:05His last name is my first name and his first name is what he loves to do.
14:08It's Josh Thomas.
14:11Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
14:13Your time starts now.
14:15Oh. Wait, it's a time task.
14:17I've got to go fast.
14:19That's nothing. That's nothing.
14:21That looks like a minivan.
14:24That's not a minivan's junk.
14:26That's a boat. That's a boat.
14:28That was a boat. OK. It wasn't a van.
14:30You can take a look if you like.
14:34It's a boat. Is it a boat? Oh, my God.
14:36Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
14:40Is that a minivan? No, it's junk.
14:42OK. Oh, is that a van?
14:44No. What is it?
14:46It doesn't matter, does it, really?
14:48There's two categories, isn't there? Van and failure.
14:51That's not a van. That's not a van.
14:53It's a dumb toy.
14:55I've got to speed up. Why is that?
14:57Cos it's a race, isn't it?
14:59Not really. Isn't it the fastest time wins?
15:01All the information you need is in the top.
15:03Find the minivan in the stock. Fewer socks removed.
15:06Oh. It's not a race. No.
15:08Oh, I didn't read... I've not got good reading comprehension.
15:12So now that I know it's not a race,
15:14there's something about that that's broken my spirit.
15:16We could be here for so long, couldn't we?
15:21Just a man with his socks.
15:25I've got a bit of a headache.
15:27You've got a headache? From doing this?
15:29How does your soul feel?
15:33Mind a bit sore? Yeah.
15:35What I'm going to do is I'm going to pull every sock down.
15:38OK. Yeah.
15:41You're just pulling all of them?
15:43If this is one of those tasks where it ends
15:45and you hand me another envelope...
15:47You think I've got something hidden on me?
15:49Well, it's always hidden, isn't it?
15:51Oh, f***! What?
15:53There's more socks than you think up there. Oh.
15:59What kind of socks are you wearing?
16:02They're just white socks. Right.
16:05I want this to go this way. Oh!
16:07So you've got them all down. That's quite a feat.
16:09Complete opposite of the task.
16:11You literally could not do worse.
16:13This is a mouse.
16:18Would you like a water?
16:20I'd love a water. We'll get a few waters. Thank you.
16:27It's better in the shade. Mm-hm.
16:31HE HUMS
16:38Matches your shirt? Yeah.
16:40Not all things match, so that's good.
16:42No.
16:44Should I read the task again?
16:46I think if I was completely wrong,
16:48you would have sort of hinted by now.
16:50Can you let me read it? You think I would have hinted?
16:53It's behind you.
16:55I don't think there's a trick to it.
16:57I think there's just a van and a sock.
16:59Pretty clear.
17:01Find the minivan and the sock.
17:05Oh, my God, it's a real sock.
17:09What makes you think that?
17:18You don't want to look in. No.
17:20No.
17:33No, I do feel silly, yeah.
17:37How long was it?
17:40One hour and 43 minutes.
17:42Oh!
17:47So, can you just talk us through the moment
17:49where you realised it wasn't a timed task any more
17:52and that it was the least number of socks,
17:54but then after that, you clearly decided to pull down every sock?
17:58I realised that I had pulled down so many socks
18:01that I've definitely lost... OK.
18:03..but that I needed to complete the task to get my one point.
18:08I am aware about what you're...
18:10I do know what you're about to say.
18:12What am I about to say?
18:14I then didn't complete the task.
18:18I know, usually I'm very harsh with my rulings,
18:20but in this really difficult decision
18:23as to whether to give you zero or one...
18:28..I'm going to be slightly lenient this time and give you one.
18:31Oh, thank you. You deserve it.
18:33I will give you one. Thanks.
18:35Thanks.
18:36So, what are the scores for the task, Lesser Tom?
18:38That means Josh gets one point, Lloyd has two,
18:41Anne and Jenny both on four, and Will wins the task with five points.
18:44Yay!
18:48I think it's time for some episode scores.
18:51It's a good thing her dad's here. Jenny's in the lead with nine points.
18:54Yes!
18:56OK, what's up next?
18:57At the end of a sentence, you usually see a full stop.
19:00At the end of this one, it's time for a full slop.
19:06LAUGHTER
19:14Hello. Hi, Jenny.
19:16Hi, Lloyd.
19:18Hey, boy! I'm here.
19:21Hi, Josh.
19:23Is that, like, a siren?
19:25Red light district.
19:28Go full slop mode?
19:30Go full slop mode.
19:31What does slop mode mean?
19:33Fullest slop mode wins.
19:35You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
19:37I don't know what slop mode is.
19:39Would you like me to look up full slop mode? Could you please?
19:41There's nothing coming up. Oh, really?
19:43Must be a new thing. It's a new thing.
19:45All right. See you later. I'll see you back here soon.
19:48See you soon.
19:51OK, so we're looking not for slop mode.
19:53No. We want full slop mode.
19:55OK, but we don't really know what it is.
19:57No, I looked it up, couldn't find anything.
20:00OK, who's first?
20:01Going full slop mode for the first time anywhere on planet Earth.
20:04Here's Will Anderson.
20:07Tom, activate full slop mode.
20:11MUSIC PLAYS
20:36Full slop mode goes for a while.
20:38Oh, something went up my nose!
20:44Is that the end of full slop mode?
20:48Might be the end of my career, Tom.
20:51Thanks, Will.
20:55Will, there was a little moment there early on that I really enjoyed
20:58where you literally lent into that task.
21:00I don't think it's full slop mode if the slop finds you.
21:03You've got to find the slop.
21:05Bloody loved it.
21:07I'm just worried about you, though.
21:08What? I don't know.
21:09What about now? This is good stuff!
21:13But you're a TV host.
21:14You probably turned down this gig and you're over there
21:16getting slop on your phone.
21:17Yes!
21:18How much money do you need me to lend you?
21:20I'm just saying.
21:21I would prefer that than watch you on this show anymore.
21:24I can't handle it anymore.
21:29Just a figure. What is it?
21:31I mean, that felt a bit real.
21:34I feel like we...
21:35I mean...
21:37It's all fun and games.
21:38I know we're having a good time but that crossed the line a little bit.
21:42Alright, sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths and fifths to come.
21:45But first, a break over which Will's going to tell us
21:48about all the other times something went up his nose
21:51on a TV set.
21:52Back soon.
21:53Back soon.
22:04Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:06We've been going full slot mode.
22:08Don't know what that is? Well, neither do we.
22:11Can you explain it better than that, Tom?
22:13Unfortunately not.
22:15It is what it is.
22:16We've seen Will's full slot mode, now it's time for another one.
22:19Alright, who's next?
22:20Going full slot mode for the second time anywhere ever.
22:23That's Jenny Tien.
22:26Hi, I'm Jenny.
22:27Summer's coming, so I'm here to remind you about sun safety.
22:30Remember to slip on a t-shirt, slop on some sunscreen,
22:34and slap on a hat.
22:36That's slip, slop, and slap.
22:42One more time.
22:43Slip, slop, and slap.
22:48Slip.
22:49Slop!
22:54And slap.
22:56Slip.
22:56Slop!
23:08And slap.
23:16That was bloody great, Jenny.
23:18Wow.
23:18And I've got fair skin, I could relate to it.
23:21That was fantastic.
23:22I can't believe we both claimed ourselves as this task.
23:29Well, I think it was great.
23:30It was such an effective ad.
23:31I reckon we could just use that as an ad from now
23:33on for the Slip, Slop, Slap campaign.
23:35You know what?
23:35It's so weird when you're being nice that I genuinely
23:38don't know how to react.
23:41I know, it's fun, isn't it?
23:42Yeah.
23:43Well, who's next?
23:44Well, going full slop mode for the equal third
23:46and hopefully last time anywhere ever,
23:48it's Lloyd, Josh, and Anne.
23:51Right, I'm wondering whether we can go full slops,
23:54as in, you know, like, full slops, man.
23:58Did you just make this up?
23:59Yeah, I made it up.
24:00One option is sort of like to just be lazy.
24:03OK.
24:04Like, I really don't want to do what this task is
24:06pushing me towards.
24:07You'll get me a beer, yeah?
24:09OK, can I have one, too?
24:11I don't care.
24:13It's like.
24:13Right.
24:19Fully slops there.
24:21I'll slop around in the water pretending to be a pig.
24:23OK.
24:24And then you come over with the slops.
24:26What's my character?
24:27Just do like a sort of borderline offensive,
24:30but not racist, country bumpkin voice.
24:32I'm not exactly sure where the lines are, if I'm honest.
24:35OK.
24:37I've got you a beer.
24:41You're just relaxing?
24:42I'm not doing any of your questions.
24:44I'm not doing any show things.
24:45OK.
24:46This is full slops today out here.
24:48Gnarly, dude.
24:49Fully slops, man.
25:04I don't think they have to hold the cameras up the whole time.
25:07Get down.
25:09It's not worth it.
25:10Slops are so full today.
25:14Oh, I'm in the ocean.
25:16Oh, oh, me hearty.
25:18It's time to feed me pig.
25:30I can't wait to watch them cut this in with other people
25:32doing stuff.
25:38Fully slops, man.
25:41I think that's the worst of the task so far by a country male.
25:49Is it possible you've mixed up the words slop and slob?
25:52What?
25:54Nothing.
26:01I feel like we've got yet another insight
26:02into Anne and Lloyd's home life.
26:05So fully slops?
26:06Yeah, it was totally fully slops.
26:09I rode that sloppy wave and I just really leant into it, man.
26:13I owned it.
26:14Yeah.
26:15And then Lloyd, you were worried the TV show was forcing you
26:18into doing that task, which could be interpreted
26:23in any way at all.
26:25Easily my least favourite task of the entire series.
26:29That you designated to yourself.
26:31LAUGHTER
26:33APPLAUSE
26:36OK, now, Josh, you've worked drinking beer into a task again.
26:39Yeah.
26:41I'm worried that you may have...
26:42Did you mix up slops with slob?
26:45No, no, no, I was trying to do like a sloppy performance
26:47because I felt like the task is asking us to go full slop mode.
26:51So it's asking for a lot.
26:52So I thought that like what would be slop is to just do nothing.
26:55But that felt like full slob mode.
26:57Well, that's not what I... That's not how I meant it.
26:59That's how it came across.
27:02OK.
27:03LAUGHTER
27:05One of the things that's happened over the season
27:06is I've got so few points and I'm doing so badly
27:09that I don't have it in me to fight for points anymore
27:12because they're meaningless.
27:14So I just score it how you will, gay daddy.
27:17LAUGHTER
27:19APPLAUSE
27:24All right, I should allocate some points.
27:25Yes. Pretty easy.
27:27Josh, one. OK.
27:29Two points to Will, just because I'm worried about his career.
27:32LAUGHTER
27:33Three points to Anne because, I mean, that's pretty sloppy.
27:37Yep. Full slops.
27:38Four points to Lloyd because it left a bad taste in my mouth and his.
27:42Jenny gets five points.
27:44Obviously, it was a great ad for Slip Slop Slap.
27:46She definitely went full slop mode.
27:47From now on, kids all around Australia,
27:49before they go to the beach, will go,
27:50Mum, Dad, can I please go full slop mode?
27:53LAUGHTER
27:54I think you've really started something.
27:55Five points to Jenny.
27:56APPLAUSE
27:59All right, you lazy drunkard, give me another task.
28:03I like my tasks how I like my coffee.
28:05Strong or weak. It's up to you, really.
28:08MUSIC
28:21Good morning.
28:22Hi, Anne. Hi.
28:23How are you going? I'm OK.
28:24That's good.
28:26You've got mail. Ooh!
28:28Oh, I've never had mail before.
28:29You've never had mail? My first mail.
28:34That's yucky.
28:35LAUGHTER
28:36Ooh. Oh, that's disgusting.
28:38Spinach, is it? Yeah.
28:40OK.
28:41Oh, half. Oh!
28:45HE CHUCKLES
28:46Make yourself look extremely strong or extremely weak.
28:50Most extreme, show of strength.
28:53All weakness wins.
28:54You have 20 minutes and your time starts now.
28:58Ah! Oh.
29:00That didn't work?
29:01What strengths do you have?
29:03I'm a white, straight man.
29:04That used to be enough.
29:06I feel like my natural demeanour is weakness,
29:10so I'm going to try be strong.
29:12Quite a weak person.
29:14I think stronger.
29:15I'm going to go for strength.
29:18Strength. An extreme show of strength.
29:20And then maybe we have, like, a fist fight.
29:22Oh.
29:23Mano e mano.
29:24Am I one of the manos?
29:26I reckon.
29:27APPLAUSE
29:29So, four of them went with strength.
29:31Yes.
29:32And Josh yet to decide.
29:33Yeah.
29:34All right, which strong man or woman are we seeing first?
29:36Does she even lift my spirits when she enters a room?
29:39Most definitely. It's Jenny Tian.
29:41Welcome to the universe's strongest heavyweight championship
29:46of strong physical strength,
29:48where I have been crowned the champion
29:52of the universe by all of the judges from the universe.
29:56And I have won, unlike these losers,
29:58Rubber Duck and Paddle Pop Sleeping Bear,
30:02because they are weak and I am strong,
30:05as you can see with my muscles here,
30:07and also my strong moustache,
30:09and really strong, strong outfit.
30:13And to prove my feat of strength,
30:15I'm really going to get ready for this one
30:19and show you guys how physically strong I am.
30:22I will lift this hammer with one hand!
30:25Whoa!
30:29Wow. Light as a feather.
30:31Oh, my God!
30:33So light. I am really strong.
30:39Wow. No effort at all.
30:41APPLAUSE
30:43Yeah, your last line there was,
30:45wow, no effort at all,
30:47and I feel like we could all see that.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:51I was just thinking, like,
30:53the Olympics, like the OG Olympics,
30:55like Greek, you know,
30:57where they're, like, really, really strong.
30:59And then also the outfit as well
31:01would make me look like that stereotypical Greek strength.
31:05I'm still just reflecting on you
31:07calling the ancient Olympic Games the OG Olympics.
31:10LAUGHTER
31:13Old and Greek.
31:15LAUGHTER
31:17APPLAUSE
31:19Fair enough.
31:21Can I just say, Tom, I don't like complimenting you.
31:23Oh.
31:25But that hammer is so heavy.
31:27It is so heavy.
31:29That thing you were lifting up, it was cool, man.
31:31I hate to ruin my own compliment here,
31:33but it weighs 6.76 kilograms.
31:35LAUGHTER
31:37APPLAUSE
31:39OK, that's another part of the showdown.
31:41Come on, push, push.
31:43I can see its head.
31:45Oh, it's hideous. It's another ad break.
31:47See you soon.
31:49APPLAUSE
31:51MUSIC
31:53APPLAUSE
31:55Welcome back to Taskmaster,
31:57where five comedians are battling
31:59for the right to own Josh Thomas's butthole.
32:01Sometimes I just have to say it as it is.
32:03Inform us of where we are, please.
32:05Our contestants are trying to look extremely strong
32:07or extremely weak.
32:09So far, Jenny has lifted a big hammer
32:11with absolutely no help at all.
32:13LAUGHTER
32:15Up next, attempting feet of strength
32:17and also strength throughout the rest of their bodies,
32:19it's Will and Anne.
32:21Why don't I try and, um,
32:23pull something like a horse?
32:25Pull a horse?
32:27No, like a horse.
32:29As in you're the horse?
32:31Yeah.
32:33All right, Tom, this is the ultimate show of strength.
32:35OK.
32:38I'm going to try and aggressively pull this van
32:40that is behind me.
32:42But the thing that's going to make it even trickier
32:44as a feet of strength is you are going to be tempting me
32:46with an array of things,
32:48so I have to actually show, like, strength
32:50to turn them down as well.
32:52OK, could I interest you in a lolly?
32:54No!
32:56OK.
32:58Ah!
33:00Ah!
33:02Tempt me again! Tempt me harder!
33:04Could I interest you in a vegan sausage?
33:06I am too strong for a vegan sausage!
33:12All right, yell out my strengths.
33:14OK, how are you at scrambling eggs?
33:16Oh, I'm the best!
33:18When do you pay the mortgage?
33:20Most of the time on time.
33:22I've had two slip-ups around Christmas.
33:24And how are you at making muffins with your daughter?
33:26Oh, I'm the best!
33:28And that's it? That's it.
33:30Tempt me again!
33:32Could I interest you in keys to a 1965 Ford Mustang?
33:35I'm showing my strengths!
33:37Ah!
33:39Will, look around you.
33:41Oh, wow. I did it.
33:43Those are all the strengths.
33:45Oh. Oh.
33:47That's it. I've had it.
33:49You're on your own, buddy.
33:51Have a good day. See ya.
33:53Man, I actually did not think I was going to be able to do that.
33:55Thank you.
33:57Thanks, Will.
33:59Ah!
34:01Ah!
34:03APPLAUSE
34:05OK, now, Will,
34:07is resisting a vegan sausage a sign of strength?
34:09Because I've managed to do it
34:11for my entire life
34:13without even thinking about it.
34:15I mean, to be fair,
34:17it also wasn't a vegan sausage.
34:19It was made out of plasticine, I believe.
34:21So you double-stacked it there.
34:23You were strong because you were pulling the van
34:25and also because you were resisting treats
34:27that you quite enjoy eating.
34:29The weird thing is I was really sore the next day
34:31despite the fact that you might have seen
34:33I had a little assistance at the end.
34:35But the idea was to look extremely strong.
34:37Right.
34:39Whereas Anne, you...
34:41LAUGHTER
34:43Neigh!
34:45LAUGHTER
34:47Well, you got no help. You actually did the work yourself.
34:49I pulled this guy.
34:51And how much...
34:53LAUGHTER
34:55CHEERING
34:57APPLAUSE
35:00Yes, I pulled Tom Cashman.
35:02And you weigh how much, Tom Cashman?
35:0480 kilograms.
35:06I pulled 80 kilograms.
35:08APPLAUSE
35:10I would say 80 kilograms are relatively impressive
35:12for a human woman.
35:14Not very impressive for a horse.
35:16But also, I think your horse suit was a cow suit, wasn't it?
35:18I mean, yes.
35:20I think that's how it was originally designed.
35:22I don't want to bring up the patriarchy as well.
35:24LAUGHTER
35:26But I was... I'm a woman.
35:28She's called a cow.
35:30Oh!
35:32And yet I pulled you...
35:34LAUGHTER
35:36..like I've pulled every man in this industry!
35:38Behind me!
35:40Move!
35:42APPLAUSE
35:44All right, take us to the next gun show, please.
35:46You are the weakest link.
35:48Hello. It's Josh Thomas.
35:50LAUGHTER
35:52Extremely weak would be like you say something mean to me
35:54and then I crumble.
35:56What do weak people do when they're attacked?
35:58They attack back. I suppose.
36:00So then they get defensive.
36:02So if you did something slightly mean to me
36:04and then I came back and I did something
36:06extremely terrible to you,
36:08that'd be quite weak, I think.
36:10OK.
36:12G'day, Josh. Oh, hey, hey, honey.
36:14How are you doing? No!
36:16No! Back off!
36:18LAUGHTER
36:20What happened?
36:22What?
36:25No, no, there's a bit in the scene.
36:27Who shits laid down? Stay in the scene.
36:29You've broken the scene.
36:31Why did you do that?
36:33I don't know why.
36:35I don't know.
36:37LAUGHTER
36:39We'll cut that bit.
36:41Oh, no, I...
36:43I don't know why I did that.
36:45I'm sorry, I was just...
36:47I'm very weak
36:49and I had a very difficult childhood.
36:51What was the lie?
36:53Josh, they were late to pick me up
36:55from pre-school and I never got a horse.
36:57That doesn't justify this.
36:59No, but...
37:01I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:03Please, I'm going through a lot.
37:05I think I might be gay.
37:07APPLAUSE
37:13I feel like you're sending a confused message.
37:15What I saw
37:17was a very strong gay man
37:19asserting himself.
37:21Yeah, it's...
37:23Sometimes the greatest strength
37:25can come out of weak moments
37:27and I came out
37:29and that's my strong moment
37:31and that was my entry.
37:33I was being really strong
37:35and I was coming out,
37:37which you are about to do.
37:39LAUGHTER
37:41As we know from people
37:43who've watched previous episodes,
37:45I'm gay.
37:47LAUGHTER
37:50I teed you up, didn't I?
37:52So we're going to accept that as a show
37:54of extreme strength. Coming out.
37:56OK, I reckon. Oh, God!
37:58All right, give us
38:00our final grower, shower or knower,
38:02please. Let's hope this show
38:04is the only thing he's done weekly.
38:06It's Lloyd Langford.
38:08What I'm thinking is, we could have a fight
38:10but I'll win.
38:12I feel like there needs to be some sort of
38:14narrative to it, right?
38:16I'm having a night out with my zebra
38:18and you're staring.
38:20At the zebra?
38:22Yeah, in a sort of lustful...
38:24Oh, I was hoping you were going to say appropriate.
38:26No, you're, like, coveting the zebra.
38:28So if I've wronged you
38:30in regards to this kind of animal,
38:32would you call it a zebra crossing?
38:34Yeah, that's not bad, actually.
38:36LAUGHTER
38:40Hey, excuse me, mate.
38:42Hey, hey.
38:44Can you stop looking at my zebra?
38:47It's not a zebra I want. It's a free country.
38:49I don't see any laws about not looking at a zebra,
38:51even if it's your zebra.
38:53We're just trying to have a quiet night out here together.
38:55OK.
38:57And you've been disrupted by your perverted glances.
38:59Move away from the zebra.
39:01I refuse to move away from the zebra.
39:03Right, well, I'm going to move you away then.
39:05Oh, really?
39:07I'm a strong man.
39:09I'm not a violent person. You've pushed me beyond my limits.
39:11Stop staring at my zebra!
39:13If you stare at my zebra once more, I'm going to give you
39:15Right, I've had enough now.
39:25Come on, love, let's go home.
39:27I've had enough of this.
39:29APPLAUSE
39:37So, you beat up Tom Cashman.
39:39Is that a sign of...
39:41LAUGHTER
39:43Well, Lloyd punched me 17 metres,
39:45which I looked it up,
39:47like how hard you'd have to hit something,
39:49and it's physically impossible.
39:51Initially, I wanted to do lots of different, like, tests of strength.
39:53You know, like they do in Scandinavian countries,
39:55where they have the wife-carrying championships?
39:57Um...
39:59I forgot about this.
40:01I carried Tom back and forth across the Pardoch
40:03several times.
40:09On one of the occasions,
40:12on one of the occasions,
40:14he farted on me.
40:18He did a full fart on me.
40:20You had my stomach here.
40:22We'd just had lunch.
40:26Alright, well, I guess I should hand out some scores.
40:28Yes, please.
40:30I'm going to give one point to Will, because he was only pretending.
40:32What? That was the whole point of the game, was to pretend!
40:34You've got to be showing extreme strength.
40:36Extreme strength?
40:38I pulled a minivan.
40:40I pulled a vegan sausage.
40:42I didn't mention this earlier,
40:44but in actual kind of strongman contests,
40:46they drag trucks 20 times the weight of that van.
40:48You know what?
40:50I just thought it'd be a bit of fun to have a little argument.
40:52I don't need your follow-up.
40:54Oh, OK.
40:56To tell me...
41:04Alright, and so I'm going to go for two points to Lloyd,
41:06because you beat out someone,
41:08and that was impressive, but it was only Tom Cashman,
41:10which was easy to do.
41:12Three points to Jenny,
41:14because I could tell that it wasn't her.
41:18Four points to Anne,
41:20because you actually showed genuine strength.
41:22I did.
41:24As you pointed out, you've been pulling men
41:26in the industry for years,
41:30and it's a lot.
41:32It is a lot. It's a lot to take on,
41:34and I'm sick of it.
41:37Yes, and I want to host my own TV show.
41:45But it takes a lot of strength to come out.
41:47You'd know, yeah.
41:51Five points to Josh.
41:57It's time for another ad break.
41:59You can block your ears and shut your eyes,
42:01but what if you miss the part where we come back?
42:03Don't even risk it.
42:05We'll be back soon.
42:15Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster.
42:17Someone here is getting ready to sink a strong bow,
42:19chuck a new nose on their new skull,
42:21sniff a butt,
42:23and pop a Plan B pill.
42:25Goodie.
42:27Listen, Tom, catch us up on who's winning the episode so far.
42:29Well, looks like this one is between Jenny and Anne,
42:31but Jenny has a two-point lead on 17 points.
42:35All right, up to the stage
42:37for our live task.
42:43All right, listen, Tom, what's going on here?
42:45Are we teaching Jenny how to read
42:47a clock with hands?
42:49Or she'll read first.
42:53Perform a 30-second scene
42:55that communicates to the Taskmaster
42:57what time the clock says.
42:59You may only say one word per team member,
43:01and that word cannot be
43:03morning, day, afternoon,
43:05night, sunrise, sunset,
43:07dawn, dusk, breakfast, brunch,
43:09lunch, dinner, quarter, half,
43:11one, two, three, four, five, six,
43:13seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven,
43:15twelve. Each team will get
43:17three randomly selected times
43:19and three scenes. Closest
43:21times guessed by the Taskmaster
43:23to the actual times wins.
43:25Wow, that was so clear.
43:29They get three words, and where are us?
43:32Good question.
43:34One person on your team
43:36can say two words each scene.
43:38Well, that'll be Josh.
43:42We're a team.
43:44All right, we ready? Taskmaster is
43:46averting his eyes.
43:59Work!
44:01Work!
44:03School!
44:05I've had enough.
44:07You were late to work
44:09and school, so I'm gonna
44:11say ten to nine.
44:13I mean, come off it.
44:21Almost fell.
44:25Mummy!
44:27Mummy!
44:29Almost.
44:33I don't know, school finishes three,
44:35three-thirty, so I'm gonna say
44:37quarter to three in the afternoon.
44:51Hang on, is it just me?
44:54I'm waiting
44:56for you to do something
44:58and then join in like before.
45:00They have to be his words, don't they?
45:02He's said way too many words.
45:04I hadn't started, though.
45:06Yes, you had.
45:12The Wiggles get the maximum
45:14time due to a violation of the rules.
45:20It's a scene.
45:24Almost fell.
45:26Mummy!
45:28Mummy!
45:30Mummy!
45:32Mummy!
45:38I'm guessing it's the exact same time,
45:40so I'm gonna guess two-forty-five
45:42p.m.
45:50Happy new
45:52year!
45:58Twelve a.m.
46:00Is this our last one?
46:02Yeah.
46:08Mummy's here!
46:16I'm guessing it's not the exact same time.
46:18I'm gonna go with three-thirty p.m.
46:22Alright,
46:24I don't need any more bad improv
46:26to tell me what time it is.
46:28I know what time it is. It's time for a break.
46:30See you soon.
46:38Welcome back to Taskmaster,
46:40where I've just spent the last five minutes
46:42guessing what the time was.
46:44Alright, so what are the scores for the live task?
46:46Well, we're scoring this one by how many minutes
46:48our teams were away from the actual time
46:51that they had to depict.
46:53The Discount Wiggles were seven-hundred-and-twenty-four
46:55minutes away.
46:59The Hoolidoolies, over the course of three rounds,
47:01only eighteen minutes away.
47:08So I guess it's up to you how to score them.
47:10Well, that's pretty easy. I think it's five-five, one-one-one.
47:16Alright, what does that do to the overall scores
47:18for the episode?
47:20It's a huge episode for Jenny Tian,
47:22but Anne Edmonds gets her first win in the season
47:24with twenty points.
47:28Congratulations, Anne.
47:30Go claim your five things that are great to have
47:32one of, but progressively worse when multiplied.
47:34Go and enjoy.
47:41And how's the season going, Lesser Tom?
47:43Well, Jenny and Josh, they're scrapping it out
47:45with ninety-three each.
47:47Will's in the middle. Anne has skyrocketed
47:49into second place, but Lloyd is out in front
47:51with a hundred and thirteen points.
47:55Did you still catch that?
47:57That's episode seven done, dusted and in the cupboard.
47:59But what have we learnt?
48:01Well, we all learnt that despite the subtle
48:03encouragement, full slot mode
48:05will never catch on.
48:07Josh learnt that despite my harsh exterior,
48:09sometimes I will give one
48:11instead of zero.
48:13And Anne learnt that despite common sense
48:15in this one case, giving a bloke
48:18a pull has gotten her to the top.
48:20Betty Happy returns to her.
48:22She's our winner.
48:24Let's do this all again next week.
48:26See ya!
48:43No, I don't want this to go on TV.
48:45This might have been
48:47a futile request from me.
48:49Wow.
48:51Thanks for being such a good friend.
48:53You little dickhead.
48:55I think you showed a different side of you. You were funny.