Taskmaster AU S02E07 2024
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00:00**air horn**
00:01**women screaming**
00:04**rock music**
00:05Annarahaaaahaaa!
00:06**rock music slow down**
00:10hanh!
00:13stop...
00:13stop!..
00:15**crash**
00:17**rock music**
00:18**screaming and cheering**
00:21**cracking sound**
00:22**rock music slow down**
00:23**rock music**
00:26Welcome to the highly anticipated seventh episode of Taskmaster Australia.
00:43It's the show that answers the burning question, what if comedians had feelings?
00:47And what if the man hosting them did not give a single shit about those feelings?
00:52I am that host.
00:53Yes, I am who you think I am, the man who killed and is wearing the skin of Tom Gleeson.
01:00Sitting in front of me, as always, are five sweet, innocent children between the ages
01:07of 29 and 50.
01:09They are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Thien, Judge Thomas, Lloyd Langford, and Will Anderson.
01:23And here beside me, a man who I'd love to get to know better if his dressing room didn't
01:30smell so much of Nutri-Grain.
01:33It's my assistant, Lesser Tom.
01:35G'day mate, how are you going?
01:40I'm not too bad.
01:41I've always wanted to be one of those guys that everyone knows can do a backflip.
01:44So I've been practising, not backflips, because that's too hard, I've been practising telling
01:49people I can do a backflip.
01:51I can do a backflip.
01:56Alright sugar lips, sweeten the air with details of our prize task please.
02:01Tonight, our comedians have been asked to bring in a thing that is great to have one
02:05of, but gets progressively worse the more you have.
02:09Oh, okay.
02:10Jenny, what have you brought in?
02:11I have brought in the Plan B pill.
02:14Because if you have one, then you know, it like saves you, right?
02:22But then if you have multiple, then it is a little bit worse.
02:26And it's called the Plan B pill, not Plan B to Z.
02:31When you said saves you, you meant saves you from the blessing of having children.
02:39It didn't sound right, did it?
02:44So, not more than once?
02:46No, not more than once.
02:47And also, my dad is in the crowd tonight, so if he asks...
02:53So it was a hypothetical, wasn't it?
02:55Exactly.
02:56I don't know what that is at all.
02:57I've never taken one in my life.
02:59Okay, Will.
03:00I'm happy with this.
03:01The more you have, the worse it gets.
03:03The nose.
03:04It's great to have one nose.
03:09You have two noses, suddenly they start getting closer to smellier places.
03:14But I thought you probably couldn't imagine what it would be like if someone had a lot of noses.
03:17So I just thought I'd bring this in.
03:25So you use medical marijuana for your pain, yeah?
03:28Yes.
03:29This more than one nose, it sounds like stoner talk to me.
03:33Oh man, imagine having more than one nose.
03:36Well, it certainly wouldn't be cocaine talk, because no one would want...
03:44Right, Lloyd, what have you got?
03:46I chose a human skull.
03:51It's absolutely fine to have one skull on the mantelpiece or something in your house.
03:59It would be like a curiosity.
04:01But the more you have, the more you're getting into serial killer territory.
04:06If, for example, you went, do you want to come down to my basement and see all my skulls?
04:11I would be like, no, I'm going.
04:14What did you bring in, Anne?
04:15I brought in a Strongbow.
04:20The first time I got drunk, I snuck out of my parents' house through the window, went to a park,
04:25and I drank eight Strongbows.
04:29Then I came home and I was just vomiting out of the open window all night.
04:34I saw the face of God.
04:37And he loves Strongbow.
04:41But it's disgusting.
04:42Okay, Josh, what did you bring in?
04:44Buttholes.
04:51What's that supposed to be?
04:52As a butthole.
04:54A butthole? Or your... Was it you?
04:59It doesn't matter who it is.
05:02It's kind of like the nose in many ways,
05:05but I didn't do a photo composition of him with heaps and heaps of buttholes.
05:12And thank you for that.
05:15Alright, well I should allocate some points.
05:17Well, I'm thinking Will's nose gets one point because it's stoner talk.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:22That is like my best prize of the whole season.
05:25For no one?
05:27Yeah, one.
05:28Josh is going to get two points for his butthole.
05:30Three points to Lloyd for the skull because it creeped me out a bit.
05:34And four points for the cider because I agree, one cider's enough.
05:37Even half.
05:38But Bland B Pearl, I mean, you don't want one more of those.
05:41Five points to Jenny.
05:46Alright, I've said it before and I'll say it again.
05:48That's enough cider and buttholes for one night.
05:51Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
05:53Sure thing, it's time for our contestants to pull their socks up to pull them down.
06:04Hi, Jenny.
06:05Hi, Tom.
06:06Kareem.
06:07Hi, Lloyd.
06:08Hello, Tom.
06:09Hi, Will.
06:10What's going on here?
06:11It's just a bunch of socks on the house.
06:13I can see that.
06:22Find the minivan in the sock.
06:27Oh.
06:29Fewer socks in the sock.
06:31Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
06:34You may not enter the house, your time starts now.
06:37Oh, flip me.
06:40What?
06:41Find the minivan in the sock.
06:44Well, I'm gonna go check out the caravan.
06:47Okay.
06:48Yeah.
06:50I don't see any socks.
06:52Is the hook helping?
06:53I mean, I'm not allowed to enter a house and this is technically a house.
06:57You're allowed to enter.
06:58Oh, I don't really see anything.
07:01I don't see any socks here.
07:05Okay, well.
07:07Oh.
07:11Oh, I see what's happened.
07:18Hello.
07:19Jenny, do you think your father is proud of you?
07:22Well, people often lose a few socks here and there, but I don't think anyone's lost that many before.
07:27Yeah, but in my mind, a minivan and a caravan were like the same thing.
07:32And I just thought, wow, it's probably gonna be like a really easy, quick find
07:36and I'll go into the caravan to find the caravan that I was supposed to find,
07:40not realising that a caravan and a minivan are different vehicles.
07:44Which, yes.
07:45Well, if we've got nothing else out of this task,
07:47you've learnt that a caravan and a minivan are two different things.
07:52Alright, well, who's first?
07:54Two of them have athlete's feet.
07:55The other just has tinnier.
07:56It's Jenny, Anne and Lloyd.
08:00There's a minivan in a sock.
08:01Okay.
08:06Oh, look at that!
08:10Can I keep that for my daughter?
08:11Yeah.
08:14My daughter would love that.
08:15You think?
08:16Yeah.
08:17I can't be bothered removing all these socks.
08:19That's just too many.
08:21I'm just trying to figure out inconsistency in pattern.
08:25It's a horse and a trailer.
08:27Can she have that as well?
08:28Okay.
08:29Nice one.
08:32One of those guys.
08:33Fun.
08:34Yeah.
08:35It's an aeroplane.
08:36I'm not even gonna ask you anymore.
08:38She's having that.
08:39Hello, Tom.
08:41Who's this?
08:42F*** you.
08:43I wonder if it's the number of stripes at the top.
08:45Because that one has three.
08:47There's one sock that has three stripes on it.
08:50If you could just pick up the giraffe.
08:53I'm having trouble.
08:54I got it, I got it.
08:55Oh.
08:56Oh, I hear something inside.
08:59Awww.
09:01That's not a minivan.
09:02No.
09:03You really need a lot of upper body strength for this one.
09:06Yeah.
09:12Lift your leg up.
09:20May I have a look at your socks, please?
09:22What do you mean?
09:23I'm quite pissed off.
09:24I don't like it when I can't solve things.
09:27To be fair to you, I'm in a bit of pain as well.
09:29Oh, are you?
09:30Why are you in pain?
09:34Bastard.
09:35What's in there, Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom?
09:37You're just desperate to get your feet out on television.
09:41Oh, you've double knotted them, you nerd.
09:47Minivan in the sock.
09:50Oh.
09:52Is that a minivan?
09:53I hope so.
09:54I'll never find it.
09:55No.
09:57Yay.
09:58I found it.
10:02Okay.
10:04So, Anne and Lloyd, we get it.
10:05You've got a daughter.
10:07Yeah, I've just been thinking about how much she plays with that minivan and where it's been.
10:12Oh, right.
10:13So, all the toys made it back to your daughter?
10:14Yeah, that's all she's got.
10:15Just those toys.
10:16Now, Jenny, you said that Lesser Tom here was a nerd because he double knotted his shoelaces.
10:21Yeah.
10:22How brutal were the bullies at your school?
10:25Double knotting's a nerd activity.
10:26It is.
10:27So specific.
10:28Also, it's nerdy if you've tied a double knot when you know the next thing.
10:31If you know that what's going to happen that day is that Jenny is going to have to get down and untie your shoes,
10:36tying a double knot, I wouldn't say it's nerdy.
10:39That's full creep mode, man.
10:42You just want to keep her down there as long as you can doing feet knots.
10:47I would like to make it very clear, the double knot was not specific to Jenny.
10:52I actually, he had a combination lock on his shoelace.
10:56I was down there for 45 minutes.
10:59Now, Jenny and Lloyd, you both found the sock with three stripes.
11:02Lloyd, did you not think to look for the other one?
11:04Socks come in pairs, so did you not think to?
11:07I think I was caught up in the giddiness of getting new toys for Gwen.
11:12I found the sock with the three stripes,
11:15and then when there was a car inside the sock,
11:18then I started thinking about, there's got to be another three-striped sock.
11:22So that is what led you to look at my foot?
11:24Yeah, I wasn't just thinking, oh, I'm never going to be able to solve this task,
11:28I'll just enjoy an erotic moment with your foot.
11:33I started thinking about other socks and where the minivan could be,
11:37and I distinctly remembered that day I hadn't put a minivan in my own sock.
11:42Alright, what are the scores so far?
11:44So Lloyd removed six socks from the house
11:47before discovering the minivan in my sock.
11:49Anne only removed two socks from the house
11:51and was finished in just four minutes and 40 seconds.
11:54Jenny took 38 minutes and 45 seconds,
11:58but still only removed two socks from the house, so tied with Anne.
12:03We'll wait until a little ad break,
12:05which should be just enough time to check
12:07what your significant other's been hiding in their sock this whole time.
12:10Hopefully it's a yummy treat just for you.
12:12We'll see you soon.
12:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:25It's the show single-handedly keeping
12:27the long sock grabby stick industry afloat.
12:29What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:31Our contestants are trying to find a sock with a minivan in it.
12:34There are 155 socks up on the house and one on my foot.
12:37Alright, who's up next?
12:40He's about to be socked in the face with having to face some socks.
12:43It's Will Anderson.
12:46Why a minivan, Tom?
12:48Is there like a fun play on words there or something that I'm missing?
12:51One of these socks?
12:53Like there's not another sock somewhere that the minivan is in.
12:56That's the sort of tricky thing that you would do.
12:58I'm just going to check there's not another sock somewhere first.
13:00OK.
13:03Tom, you seem to be limping.
13:05Is there a minivan in your sock?
13:07I couldn't possibly say.
13:09So that's why you're limping because I believe
13:11there is a minivan in your sock.
13:13Sorry to everyone who went to all that fuss
13:16putting all those socks up there.
13:18This sock was not on the house.
13:20Thanks, Will.
13:22Thanks, Tom.
13:29Will, why do you have to suck the joy out of this show?
13:31We're supposed to watch you struggle.
13:33It's OK. There's more sketch comedy to come in this season.
13:37Let's see some more struggles. Don't worry.
13:39Allow me this small victory.
13:41All right. So how many socks was that?
13:43I mean...
13:45Well, there are 155 socks in total up on the house.
13:47Yep.
13:49Will took down zero of them.
13:53All right. It always gives me a nice feeling
13:55when we've got one left.
13:57No!
13:59And we've already seen someone nail it.
14:01So...
14:03Who's last?
14:06His last name is my first name
14:08and his first name is what he loves to do.
14:10It's Josh Thomas.
14:12Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
14:14Your time starts now.
14:16Oh. Wait, it's a time task.
14:18I've got to go fast.
14:20That's nothing. That's nothing.
14:22That looks like a minivan.
14:24That's not a minivan's junk.
14:26That's a boat.
14:28That's a boat. That was a boat.
14:30It wasn't a van.
14:32You can take a look if you like.
14:34It's a boat. Is it a boat?
14:36Oh, my God.
14:38Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
14:40Is that a minivan?
14:42No, it's junk.
14:44Oh, is that a van?
14:46What is it?
14:48It doesn't matter, does it, really?
14:50There's two categories, isn't there?
14:52Van and failure.
14:54That's not a van. That's not a van.
14:56It's a dumb toy.
14:58I've got to speed up.
15:00Why is that?
15:03Find the minivan and the sock. Fewer socks removed.
15:05Oh.
15:07It's not a race.
15:09Oh, I didn't read.
15:11I've got good reading comprehension.
15:13So now that I know it's not a race,
15:15there's something about that that's broken my spirit.
15:17We could be here for so long, couldn't we?
15:21Just a man with his socks.
15:27I've got a headache.
15:29I'm doing this.
15:31Mine's a bit sore.
15:33What I'm going to do
15:35is I'm going to pull every sock down.
15:37OK.
15:39Yeah.
15:41You're just pulling all of them?
15:43If this is one of those tasks
15:45where it ends and you hand me another envelope...
15:47You think I've got something hidden on me?
15:49Well, it's always hidden, isn't it?
15:51Oh, f***.
15:53There's more socks than you think up there.
15:55Oh.
15:58What kind of socks are you wearing?
16:02They're just white socks.
16:04Right.
16:06I want this to go this way.
16:08So you've got them all down.
16:10That's quite a feat.
16:12Complete opposite of the task.
16:14You literally could not do worse.
16:16This is a mouse.
16:18Would you like a water?
16:20I'd love a water.
16:22We'll get a few waters.
16:24Thank you.
16:27It's better in the shade.
16:37Matches your shirt?
16:39Yeah.
16:41Not all things match, so that's good.
16:43No.
16:45Should I read the task again?
16:47I think if I was completely wrong
16:49you would have sort of hinted by now.
16:51Can you let me read it?
16:53It's behind you.
16:55I don't think there's a trick to it.
16:57I think there's just a van and a sock.
16:59I don't think it's one of those...
17:01Pretty clear.
17:03Find the minivan and the sock.
17:05Oh, my God.
17:07It's in your sock.
17:09What makes you think that?
17:19You don't want to look in.
17:21No.
17:25No.
17:35I do feel silly, yeah.
17:37How long was it?
17:41One hour and 43 minutes.
17:48Can you just talk us through the moment
17:50where you realised it wasn't a timed task anymore
17:52and that it was the least number of socks
17:55but then after that you clearly decided
17:57to pull down every sock?
17:59I realised that I had pulled down
18:01so many socks that I've definitely lost
18:03but that I needed to
18:05complete the task
18:07to get my one point.
18:09I am aware about what you're...
18:11I do know what you're about to say.
18:13What am I about to say?
18:15I then didn't complete the task.
18:19I know, usually I'm very harsh with my rulings
18:21but in this really
18:23difficult decision as to whether to give you
18:25zero or one
18:28I'm going to be slightly lenient this time
18:30and give you one.
18:32You deserve it.
18:34I will give you one.
18:36So what are the scores for the task, Lesser Tom?
18:38That means Josh gets one point,
18:40Lloyd has two,
18:42Anne and Jenny both on four,
18:44and Will wins the task with five points.
18:48I think it's time for some episode scores.
18:50It's a good thing her dad's here.
18:52Jenny's in the lead with nine points.
18:54Yes!
18:56Okay, what's up next?
18:58At the end of a sentence, you usually see a full stop.
19:00At the end of this one, it's time for a full slop.
19:14Hello.
19:16Hi Jenny.
19:18Hi Lloyd.
19:20Hi Josh.
19:24Is that like a siren?
19:26Red light district.
19:28Go full slop mode.
19:30Go full slop mode.
19:32What does slop mode mean?
19:34Fullest slop mode wins.
19:36You have 20 minutes.
19:38Your time starts now.
19:40I don't know what slop mode is.
19:42Would you like me to look up full slop mode?
19:44Could you please?
19:46There's nothing coming up.
19:48See you soon.
19:52Okay, so we're looking not for slop mode.
19:54We want full slop mode.
19:56Okay, but we don't really know what it is.
19:58I looked it up, couldn't find anything.
20:00Okay, who's first?
20:02Going full slop mode for the first time anywhere on planet Earth.
20:04Here's Will Anderson.
20:08Tom, activate full slop mode.
20:18Full slop mode.
20:36Full slop mode goes for a while.
20:38Oh, something went up my nose!
20:44Is that the end of full slop mode?
20:48Might be the end of my career, Tom.
20:50Thanks, Will.
20:54Will, there was a little moment there
20:56early on that I really enjoyed where you
20:58literally lent into that task.
21:00I don't think it's full slop mode
21:02if the slop finds you. You've got to find the slop.
21:04Bloody loved it.
21:06I'm just worried about you though.
21:08Why? I don't know.
21:10What about now? This is good stuff!
21:12But you're a TV host.
21:14You probably turned down this gig and you're over there
21:16getting slop on your face.
21:18How much money do you need me to lend you?
21:20I'm just saying.
21:22I would prefer that than watch you on this show anymore.
21:24I can't handle it anymore.
21:30Just to figure.
21:32That felt a bit real.
21:36It's all fun and games.
21:38I know we're having a good time,
21:40but that crossed the line a little bit.
21:42Alright, sloppy seconds.
21:44We've got four fourths and fifths to come.
21:46But first, a break over which Will's going to tell us
21:48about all the other times something
21:50went up his nose
21:52on a TV set. Back soon.
22:04Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:06We've been going full slop mode.
22:08Don't know what that is?
22:10Well, neither do we.
22:12Can you explain it better than that, Tom?
22:14Unfortunately not. It is what it is.
22:16We've seen Will's full slop mode.
22:18Now it's time for another one.
22:20Alright, who's next?
22:22Going full slop mode for the second time anywhere ever.
22:24It's Jenny Tian.
22:26Hi, I'm Jenny.
22:28Summer's coming so I'm here to remind you about sun safety.
22:30Remember to slip on a t-shirt,
22:32slop on some sunscreen
22:34and slap on a hat.
22:36That's slip, slop
22:38and slap.
22:40One more time.
22:42Slip, slop
22:46and slap.
22:48Slip, slop
22:54and slap. Slip.
22:56Slip.
23:08And slap.
23:16That was bloody great, Jenny.
23:18Wow.
23:20And I've got fair skin, I could relate to it.
23:22That was fantastic.
23:24I love this task.
23:28I think it was great, it was such an effective ad.
23:30I reckon we could just use that as an ad from now on
23:32for the slip, slop, slap campaign.
23:34You know what, it's so weird when you're
23:36being nice that I genuinely don't
23:38know how to react.
23:40I know, it's fun, isn't it?
23:42Well, who's next?
23:44Well, going full slop mode for the equal third
23:46and hopefully last time anywhere ever.
23:48It's Lloyd, Josh and Anne.
23:50Right, I'm wondering whether we can
23:52go full slops.
23:54As in, you know, like
23:56full slops, man. Did you just make this up?
23:58Yeah, I made it up.
24:00One option is sort of like to just be lazy.
24:02OK. Like I really don't want
24:04to do what this task is pushing me towards.
24:06You'll get me a beer, yeah?
24:08OK, can I have one too?
24:10I don't care.
24:12It's nice.
24:18Fully slops there.
24:20I'll slop around in the water pretending
24:22to be a pig. OK. And then you come over
24:24with the slops.
24:26What's my character? Just do like a sort of
24:28borderline offensive but not racist
24:30country bumpkin voice.
24:32I'm not exactly sure where the lines are if I'm honest.
24:34OK.
24:36I've got you a beer.
24:40You're just relaxing?
24:42I'm not doing any of your questions, I'm not doing any show things.
24:44OK.
24:46This is full slops today out here. Gnarly, dude.
24:48Fully slops, man.
25:02I don't think
25:04they have to hold the cameras up the whole time.
25:06Get down.
25:08It's not worth it.
25:10Slops are so full today.
25:12Oh, I'm in the ocean.
25:14Oh.
25:16Oh, me hearty.
25:18It's time to feed me pig.
25:28I can't wait
25:30to watch them cut this in with other people
25:32doing stuff.
25:36Fully slops,
25:38man.
25:40I think that's
25:42the worst task so far by country mile.
25:46Is it
25:48possible you've mixed up the words
25:50slop and slob?
25:52What?
25:54Nothing.
26:00I feel like we've got yet another
26:02insight into Ann and Lloyd's home life.
26:04So fully slops?
26:06Yeah, it was totally fully slops
26:08and I just, I rode that sloppy wave
26:10and I, I just
26:12really leant into it, man, and I owned it.
26:14And then Lloyd, you were worried the TV
26:16show was forcing you into doing that
26:20into doing that task which could be
26:22interpreted in any way at all.
26:24Easily my least
26:26favourite task of the entire series.
26:28That you designated to yourself.
26:34Okay, now
26:36Josh, you've worked drinking beer into a
26:38task again. Yeah.
26:40I'm worried that you may have, did you mix
26:42up slops with
26:44slob? No, no, no. I was trying to do like a
26:46sloppy performance because I felt like the task
26:48is asking us to go full slop mode
26:50so it's asking for a lot. So I thought
26:52that like what would be slop is to just do
26:54nothing. But that felt like full slob
26:56mode. That's not what I, that's not how
26:58I meant it. That's how it came across.
27:00Okay.
27:04One of the things that's happened over the season is
27:06I've got so few points and I'm doing so badly
27:08that I, I don't have it in
27:10me to fight for points anymore because they're
27:12meaningless. So I just
27:14score it how you will, gay
27:16daddy.
27:22Alright, I should
27:24allocate some points. Yes. Pretty easy.
27:26Josh won. Okay.
27:28Two points to Will, just because
27:30I'm worried about his career.
27:32Three points to
27:34Anne because I mean that's pretty sloppy.
27:36Full slops. Four points
27:38to Lloyd because it left a
27:40bad taste in my mouth and his.
27:42Jenny gets five points. Obviously it was a great
27:44ad for Slip Slop Slap. She went, definitely
27:46went full slop mode. From now on, kids
27:48all around Australia before they go to the beach will go
27:50Mum, Dad, can I please go full slop
27:52mode? I think you've really started
27:54something. Five points to Jenny.
27:58Alright you lazy
28:00drunkard. Give me another task.
28:02I like my tasks how I like my coffee.
28:04Strong or weak. It's up to
28:06you really.
28:20Good morning.
28:22Hi Anne. Hi. How are you going? I'm okay.
28:24That's good. You got mail.
28:26Oh, I've never had mail
28:28before. You've never had mail? My first mail.
28:32That's yucky.
28:34Oh, that's
28:36disgusting. Spinach is it?
28:38Yeah. Okay.
28:44Make yourself
28:46look extremely strong
28:48or extremely weak. Most extreme
28:50show of strength
28:52or weakness wins. You have
28:5420 minutes and your time starts
28:56now.
28:58Oh.
29:00That didn't work. What strengths do you
29:02have? I'm a white straight man.
29:04That used to be enough. I feel like
29:06my natural
29:08demeanour is weakness. So
29:10I'm going to try be strong.
29:12Quite a weak person. I think stronger.
29:14I'm going to go for
29:16strength. Strength.
29:18An extreme show of strength. And then
29:20maybe we have like a fist fight.
29:22Oh. Mano e mano.
29:24Am I one of the manos?
29:26I reckon.
29:28So
29:30four of them went with strength and Josh
29:32yet to decide. Yeah. Alright.
29:34Which strong man or woman are we seeing first?
29:36Does she even lift my spirits
29:38when she enters a room? Most definitely.
29:40It's Jenny Tian.
29:42Welcome to the universe's
29:44strongest heavyweight championship
29:46of strong physical
29:48strength where I have been
29:50crowned the champion of the universe
29:52by all of the judges
29:54from the universe and I have
29:56won unlike these losers
29:58Rubber Duck and Paddle Pop
30:00Sleeping Bear because
30:02they are weak and I am strong
30:04as you can see with my muscles
30:06here and also my strong
30:08moustache and really
30:10strong outfit.
30:12And to prove my feet
30:14of strength I'm really going to
30:16get ready for this one
30:18and show you guys how physically
30:20strong I am.
30:22I will lift this hammer with one
30:24hand.
30:28Wow. Light as a feather.
30:30Oh my god.
30:32So light. I am really
30:34strong.
30:38Wow. No effort
30:40at all.
30:46Yeah your last line there was
30:48wow no effort at all and
30:50I feel like we could all see that.
30:54I was just thinking like
30:56the Olympics like the OG Olympics
30:58like Greek you know where they're
31:00like really really strong and then also
31:02the outfit as well would make me
31:04look like that stereotypical
31:06Greek strength.
31:08I'm still just reflecting on you calling the
31:10ancient Olympic Games the OG Olympics.
31:12Olden Greek.
31:18Fair enough. Can I just say Tom
31:20I don't like complimenting you
31:22but
31:24that hammer is so heavy.
31:26That thing you were lifting up it was cool
31:28man. I hate to ruin my
31:30own compliment here but it weighs 6.76
31:32kilograms.
31:38Okay that's another part of the showdown.
31:40Deep breaths. Come on. Push push.
31:42I can see it's head.
31:44It's hideous. It's another ad break. See you soon.
31:52Welcome back to
31:56TarzFast where five comedians are
31:58battling for the right to own
32:00Josh Thomas' butthole.
32:02Sometimes I just have to say it as it is.
32:04Inform us of where we are please.
32:06Our contestants are trying to look extremely
32:08strong or extremely weak. So far
32:10Jenny has lifted a big hammer with absolutely
32:12no help at all.
32:14Up next attempting feet of strength
32:16and also strength throughout the rest of
32:18their bodies it's Will and Anne.
32:20Why don't I
32:22try and um pull
32:24something like a horse.
32:26Pull a horse?
32:28No like a horse. As in you're the horse?
32:30Yeah. Alright Tom this is the ultimate
32:32show of strength. Okay. I'm gonna
32:34single handedly with these two ropes
32:36so double handedly pull
32:38this van that is behind me. But the thing
32:40that's gonna make it even trickier as a feet of
32:42strength is you are going to be tempting
32:44me with an array of things
32:46so I have to actually show like strength
32:48to turn them down as well.
32:50Okay, could I interest you in a lolly?
32:52NO! Okay.
32:54AHHHHHHHH!
32:56AHHHHHHHH!
32:58Tempt me again!
33:00Tempt me harder! Could I interest you in
33:02a vegan sausage? Ah NO!
33:04You cannot interest me in a vegan sausage!
33:06I am too strong for a vegan sausage!
33:12Alright, yell out my strengths. Okay,
33:14how are you at scrambling eggs? Oh I'm the best!
33:16When do you pay the mortgage?
33:18Most of the time on time.
33:19I've had two slip-ups around Christmas.
33:22And how are you at making muffins with your daughter?
33:24I'm the best.
33:25And that's it?
33:26That's it.
33:27Tempt me again!
33:28Could I interest you in keys to a 1965 Ford Mustang?
33:31I am more interested, but I am showing my strengths!
33:35Ahhhh!
33:37We'll look around you.
33:39Oh, wow. I did it.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Those are all the strengths.
33:44Oh. Oh.
33:46That's it. I've had it.
33:48You're on your own, buddy.
33:49OK.
33:50Have a good day. See ya.
33:51Man, I actually did not think I was going to be able to do that.
33:54Thank you.
33:55Thanks, Will.
33:56Grrrr!
33:58Grrrr!
34:00APPLAUSE
34:05OK, now, Will, is resisting a vegan sausage a sign of strength?
34:08Because I've managed to do it for my entire life
34:13without even thinking about it.
34:15I mean, to be fair, it also wasn't a vegan sausage,
34:17it was made out of plasticine, I believe.
34:20So you double-stacked it there.
34:22You were strong because you were pulling the van
34:24and also because you were resisting treats that you quite enjoy eating.
34:27The weird thing is I was really sore the next day,
34:30despite the fact that you might have seen
34:32I had a little assistance at the end.
34:34But the idea was to look extremely strong.
34:37Right. Whereas Anne, you...
34:43Neigh!
34:46Well, you got no help. You actually did the work yourself.
34:49I pulled this guy, and how much...
34:52LAUGHTER
34:54CHEERING
34:59Yes, I pulled Tom Cashman, and you weigh how much, Tom Cashman?
35:0280 kilograms.
35:03I pulled 80 kilograms.
35:05APPLAUSE
35:07I would say 80 kilograms are relatively impressive
35:10for a human woman.
35:11Not very impressive for a horse.
35:13But also, I think your horse suit was a cow suit, wasn't it?
35:16I mean, yes.
35:18I think that's how it was originally designed.
35:20I don't want to bring up the patriarchy as well.
35:22LAUGHTER
35:24But I was... I'm a woman.
35:26You've just called a cow.
35:28Oh!
35:30And yet I pulled you...
35:32LAUGHTER
35:34..like I've pulled every man in this industry!
35:37Behind me!
35:39Move!
35:43All right, take us to the next gun show, please.
35:45You are the weakest link.
35:47Hello, it's Josh Thomas.
35:49LAUGHTER
35:50Extremely weak would be like you say something mean to me
35:53and then I crumble.
35:56What do weak people do when they're attacked?
35:58They attack back. I suppose.
36:00So then they get defensive.
36:01So if you did something slightly mean to me
36:03and then I came back and I did something extremely terrible to you,
36:07that'd be quite weak, I think.
36:09OK.
36:10G'day, Josh. Oh, hey, hey, honey.
36:13How are you doing? No! How are you doing?
36:15No! Back off!
36:17LAUGHTER
36:21What happened?
36:23What?
36:24No, no, there's a bit in the scene.
36:26Who shits later? I'm saying the scene.
36:28You've broken the scene.
36:30Why did you do that?
36:32I might don't know why.
36:34I don't know.
36:36LAUGHTER
36:38We'll cut that bit.
36:40Oh, no, I...
36:42I don't know why I did that.
36:44I'm sorry, I was just...
36:46I'm very weak and I had a very difficult childhood.
36:51What was the lie?
36:53They were late to pick me up from pre-school and I never got a horse.
36:56That doesn't justify this.
36:58No, but...
37:00I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
37:02Please, I'm going through a lot.
37:04I think I might be gay.
37:06APPLAUSE
37:12I feel like you're sending a confused message.
37:15What I saw was a very strong gay man...
37:18LAUGHTER
37:20..asserting himself.
37:22Yeah, it's...
37:24Sometimes the greatest strength can come out of weak moments
37:27and I came out and that's my strong moment and that was my entry.
37:31I was being really strong and I was coming out,
37:34which you are about to do.
37:37LAUGHTER
37:41As we know from people who've watched previous episodes, I'm gay.
37:45LAUGHTER
37:47You happy?
37:49I am happy. I cheered you up, didn't I?
37:51So we're going to accept that as a show of extreme strength.
37:54Coming out. OK, I reckon.
37:56Oh, God!
37:58All right, give us our final grower, shower or knower, please.
38:02Let's hope this show is the only thing he's done weekly.
38:05It's Lloyd Langford.
38:07What I'm thinking is we could have a fight... OK.
38:10..but I'll win. Oh.
38:12I feel like there needs to be some sort of narrative to it, right?
38:15OK. I'm having a night out with my zebra and you're staring.
38:20At the zebra? Yeah, in a sort of lustful...
38:24Oh, I was hoping you were going to say appropriate.
38:26You're, like, coveting the zebra.
38:28So if I've wronged you in regards to this kind of animal,
38:31will you call it a zebra crossing?
38:35Yeah, that's not bad, actually.
38:40Hey, excuse me, mate. Hey. Hey.
38:43Can you stop looking at my zebra?
38:45I'll look at whatever zebra I want. It's a free country.
38:48I don't see any laws about not looking at a zebra,
38:50even if it's your zebra.
38:52We're just trying to have a quiet night out here together. OK.
38:55And you've been disrupted by your perverted glances.
38:58Move away from the zebra.
39:00I refuse to move away from the zebra.
39:02Right, well, I'm going to move you away, then.
39:04Oh, really? Because I'm a strong man.
39:06I'm not a violent person. You've pushed me beyond my limits.
39:09Stop staring at my zebra!
39:11If you stare at my zebra once more,
39:13I'm going to give you the slap of a lifetime.
39:15Right, I've had enough now.
39:18Oh!
39:24Come on, love, let's go home. I've had enough of this.
39:36So, you beat up Tom Cashman.
39:38Is that a sign of...
39:42..extreme strength?
39:44Well, Lloyd punched me 17 metres.
39:47Which I looked it up, like, how hard you'd have to hit something,
39:50and it's physically impossible.
39:52Initially, I wanted to do lots of different, like, tests of strength.
39:55You know, like they do in Scandinavian countries
39:58where they have the wife-carrying championships?
40:02I forgot about this.
40:04I carried Tom back and forth across the paddock several times.
40:11On one of the occasions, he farted on me.
40:17He did a full fart on me.
40:19You had my stomach here.
40:21We'd just had lunch.
40:25Alright, well, I guess I should hand out some scores.
40:27Yes, please.
40:28I'm going to give one point to Will, because he was only pretending.
40:31What? That was the whole point of the game, was to pretend!
40:34You've got to be showing extreme strength.
40:36Extreme strength? I pulled a minivan.
40:38You avoided a vegan sausage.
40:41I didn't mention this earlier,
40:43but in actual kind of strongman contests,
40:46they drag trucks 20 times the weight of that van.
40:49You know what?
40:50I just thought it would be a bit of fun to have a little argument.
40:53I don't need your follow-up to tell me...
41:04Alright, and so I'm going to go for two points to Lloyd,
41:07because you beat out someone, and that was impressive,
41:09but it was only Tom Cashman, which was easy to do.
41:11Three points to Jenny,
41:12because I could tell that it wasn't her really lifting the van.
41:17Four points to Anne,
41:18because you actually showed genuine strength.
41:20I did.
41:21As you pointed out, you've been pulling men in the industry for years,
41:27and it's a lot.
41:30It is a lot.
41:31It's a lot to take on, and I'm sick of it.
41:35I've got sore wrists, and I want to host my own TV show.
41:42But it takes a lot of strength to come out.
41:45Josh?
41:46You'd know, yeah.
41:49Five points to Josh.
41:55It's time for another ad break.
41:57You can block your ears and shut your eyes,
41:59but what if you miss the part where we come back?
42:01Don't even risk it.
42:02Back with our final task of the show soon.
42:12Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster.
42:15Someone here is getting ready to sink a strongbow,
42:18chuck a new nose on their new skull,
42:20sniff a butt and pop a Plan B pill.
42:23Goodie.
42:24Listen, Tom, catch us up on who's winning the episode so far.
42:27Well, it looks like this one is between Jenny and Anne,
42:30but Jenny has a two-point lead on 17 points.
42:35All right, up to the stage for our live task.
42:42All right, listen, Tom, what's going on here?
42:44Are we teaching Jenny how to read a clock with hands?
42:48Or she'll read first.
42:49Oh!
42:50Yeah.
42:52Perform a 30-second scene that communicates to the Taskmaster
42:56what time the clock says.
42:58You may only say one word per team member,
43:01and that word cannot be morning, day, afternoon, night,
43:05sunrise, sunset, dawn, dusk, breakfast, brunch, lunch,
43:09dinner, quarter, half, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
43:15Each team will get three randomly selected times
43:19and three scenes.
43:20Closest times guessed by the Taskmaster
43:23to the actual times wins.
43:25Wow, that was so clear.
43:29They get three words, and where are us?
43:31Good question.
43:33One person on your team can say two words each scene.
43:37Well, that'll be Josh.
43:41We're a team.
43:43All right, we ready?
43:44Taskmaster is averting his eyes.
43:55Oh.
43:56Oh.
43:57Oh.
43:58Work.
44:00Work.
44:01Work.
44:02Work.
44:03School.
44:05I've had enough.
44:08You were late to work and school, so I'm going to say 10 to 9.
44:13I mean, come off it.
44:21Almost fell.
44:25Mummy!
44:28Mummy!
44:30Almost.
44:33I don't know, school finishes 3, 3.30,
44:35so I'm going to say quarter to three in the afternoon.
44:51Hang on, is it just me?
44:55We're waiting for you to do something and then join in like before.
44:58They have to be his words, don't they?
45:00He's said way too many words.
45:02I hadn't started, though.
45:04Yes, you had.
45:05OK.
45:10The Wiggles get the maximum time due to a violation of the rules.
45:23Almost fell.
45:26Mummy!
45:27Mummy!
45:29Mummy!
45:31Mummy!
45:35I'm guessing it's the exact same time, so I'm going to guess 2.45pm.
45:48Happy!
45:49New!
45:50Yeah!
45:5512am.
45:58Is this our last one?
45:59Yeah.
46:05Bell!
46:06Mummy's here!
46:14I'm guessing it's not the exact same time.
46:17I'm going to go with 3.30pm.
46:23All right, I don't need any more bad improv to tell me what time it is.
46:26I know what time it is. It's time for a break.
46:28See you soon.
46:34APPLAUSE
46:38Welcome back to Taskmaster,
46:39where I've just spent the last five minutes
46:41guessing what the time was.
46:43All right, so what are the scores for the live task?
46:45Well, we're scoring this one by how many minutes our teams were
46:48away from the actual time that they had to depict.
46:51The Discount Wiggles were 724 minutes away.
46:57The Hooligoolies, over the course of three rounds,
47:00only 18 minutes away.
47:02CHEERING
47:05So I guess it's up to you how to score them.
47:08Well, that's pretty easy.
47:09I think it's 5-5, 1-1-1.
47:15All right, what does that do
47:16to the overall scores for the episode?
47:18Well, it's been a huge episode for Jenny Tien,
47:20but Anne Edmonds gets her first win in the season with 20 points!
47:27Congratulations, Anne!
47:28Go claim your five things that are great to have one of,
47:32but progressively worse when multiplied.
47:34Go and enjoy!
47:40And how's the season going, Lesser Tom?
47:42Well, Jenny and Josh, they're scrapping it out with 93 each.
47:46Will's in the middle.
47:47Anne has skyrocketed into second place,
47:49but Lloyd is out in front with 113 points.
47:55That's episode seven done, dusted and in the cupboard.
47:58But what have we learnt?
48:00Well, we all learnt that despite the subtle encouragement,
48:03full slot mode will never catch on.
48:06Josh learnt that despite my harsh exterior,
48:09sometimes I will give one instead of zero.
48:12And Anne learnt that despite common sense in this one case,
48:16giving a bloke a pull has gotten her to the top.
48:20Betty Happy returns to her, she's our winner.
48:23Let's do this all again next week.
48:25See ya!
48:31APPLAUSE
48:42No, I don't want this to go on TV.
48:46This might have been a futile request from me.
48:49Wow.
48:51Thanks for being such a good friend, you little dickhead.
48:54I think you showed a different side of you, you were funny.