A mum admits she doesn't want to see her kids everyday and says it doesn't make her a "bad mum" - and spending time apart makes her a better parent.
Lucy Parker, 35, had felt "run into the ground" before splitting custody of her daughters - six and four - equally with her ex-husband, 35.
It means Lucy, who runs her own business from home, has more time to get on top of work as well as "filling" her "cup" by socialising, dating and travelling.
She says not seeing her kids 24/7 has made her a better parent - as she has "more energy" to be present when she is around them.
When she shared her thoughts online, commenters said it "broke" their "heart" and have asked her "why did you have kids then?" but Lucy doesn't want other parents to feel "shame" at wanting a break.
Lucy Parker, 35, had felt "run into the ground" before splitting custody of her daughters - six and four - equally with her ex-husband, 35.
It means Lucy, who runs her own business from home, has more time to get on top of work as well as "filling" her "cup" by socialising, dating and travelling.
She says not seeing her kids 24/7 has made her a better parent - as she has "more energy" to be present when she is around them.
When she shared her thoughts online, commenters said it "broke" their "heart" and have asked her "why did you have kids then?" but Lucy doesn't want other parents to feel "shame" at wanting a break.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I don't want to see my kids every single day.
00:03If I had to have them full-time for any reason,
00:07of course I would, of course I would,
00:09and I would embrace it and I would make that our life.
00:12But here's something that I was very stern with
00:16when we had kids originally and we were together,
00:19that being parents is a 50-50 job.
00:23Nothing sits all on me,
00:25and I think society still sits everything
00:27on the mother of the children,
00:30which personally to me feels really unfair.
00:33Now, since we've had kids,
00:35so my oldest will be seven next year,
00:39so let's say for the last six years,
00:41I've raised the kids and worked full-time at the same time.
00:47I run my own business from home.
00:49I've also done 18 months in lockdown during that time.
00:53So I have constantly been on the go
00:56dealing with work and children.
00:59I've not felt like I was the best mum
01:01because I was splitting my time to work at the same time,
01:05and I didn't feel like I was the best businesswoman
01:07because I was having to deal with the kids all the time.
01:09It was a constant juggle.
01:10For seven years, I've had a kid at home with me full-time
01:14as well as working.
01:16Now, when the kids go to school
01:20and when the kids go to him,
01:22I have space to get my work done
01:27and get myself back on track
01:30because six, seven years of grinding, hustling,
01:35I supported our entire family financially.
01:38He worked and he did earn money,
01:40but my income was far more significant
01:45and I covered most of our costs.
01:47I covered the huge bill of getting us back here,
01:50and he's not afraid to completely admit
01:52that I carried everything on our shoulders.
01:55And with that came postnatal depression,
01:58health issues, other mental issues,
02:01because I was so incredibly run down from doing everything.
02:07And as much as I'd never wish a separation on anyone,
02:09for me, this is my chance to feel finally
02:13like an equal parent and 50-50.
02:16So now he has to work out how to juggle kids and his job.
02:20And of course, we've organised our co-parenting relationship
02:23so it is much easier on him
02:25because I am used to juggling work and the kids.
02:28And I do have the flexibility to work at night
02:33or work early hours in the morning
02:34or work around the kids.
02:37He doesn't because he has a physical job
02:38that trades time for money.