• le mois dernier
Transcription
00:00All right Kras, today we're gonna be answering the question, what color is a mirror?
00:07It's a very simple answer Kras, it's...
00:10What is that?
00:11Oh, oh, it's my phone! My phone go ring ring!
00:14Oh, and it's my wife ring ring!
00:16Coincidentally, my phone go ring ring, it's my wife ring ring.
00:19Anyway, I'm gonna answer this phone, and you guys have 10 minutes to do whatever you want.
00:23Hold on.
00:24What do you want, ring ring?
00:25Oh guys, we can do whatever we want!
00:27Oh, I'm gonna stay.
00:28I'm gonna play on my phone.
00:29I'm gonna play Penelope.
00:31You wanna play spin the bottle?
00:32Ew, why would I wanna play that?
00:34So we can kiss?
00:35I don't wanna kiss you, Junior!
00:36Well, let's let the bottle decide.
00:38You guys are playing spin the bottle? I wanna play.
00:40I guess I'll play too.
00:41But I'm the only girl here!
00:42Shut up, I wanna kiss Junior.
00:44Wait, what?
00:45Spin the bottle.
00:46Okay.
00:50Woohoo, better get them lips ready, Junior.
00:52Cody, no, we still have to spend one more time to see who you kiss.
00:55Yeah, dude, I don't wanna play this anymore if I have to kiss Cody.
00:57It's too late, it's already locked in. Just spin it.
00:59Okay.
01:01Please don't land on me, please don't land on me!
01:02Please land on Junior, please land on Junior!
01:04Penelope?
01:05I get to kiss Cody? At least he's hot!
01:08I have to kiss a girl? Gay?
01:11Oh dude, you have to do it, it's the rules, it's the rules!
01:14Cody, I have a crush on Penelope, please don't kiss her.
01:16It is the rules, Junior. Just make it quick.
01:24Oh god, I'm gonna throw up!
01:25I got it on video, guys!
01:26Oh, send it to me!
01:27You got it on video?
01:28I'm gonna go show Ken.
01:29No, Junior, don't show Ken!
01:31Junior, please don't show Ken, why are you doing this?
01:33You kissed the girl I like.
01:34He did, he did, dude!
01:35I didn't want to, it was spin the bottle.
01:37You could have said no.
01:38Yeah, you could have said no, you could have said no.
01:40But those are the rules, I didn't like it.
01:42Oh, you didn't like it? That kiss lasted for 30 seconds, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up pregnant.
01:46You can't get pregnant from kissing.
01:47Dude, your tongue was down her throat, she's definitely pregnant.
01:50Yeah, yeah, I saw your tongue in her mouth.
01:52It's gonna be really shocking to Ken when I show him this video of you being straight.
01:57But I'm not straight, I'm as straight as a circle, that's how not straight I am.
02:01Well, Ken's gonna be really shocked when he sees this video.
02:03No, Junior, don't show him!
02:04Junior, come on, please don't show my boyfriend that video.
02:07It's too late, Cody, I'm gonna show Ken that video.
02:09No, Junior, come on, I'll do anything.
02:11Anything?
02:12Anything, yeah, just name it.
02:13Okay, make a time machine, go back in time and stop yourself from kissing Penelope.
02:16Junior, I can't make a time machine today, that's not the point of this video.
02:20And also, we can't just make time machines whenever we have problems.
02:23Well, I guess that's your problem, Cody.
02:24No, come on, Junior, I'll do anything else.
02:26Okay, I know, I'll give you $100 not to show Ken the video.
02:29You'll give me $100 not to show Ken the video?
02:31Yeah.
02:32Okay, deal.
02:33Thank you so much, Junior.
02:34I'm gonna take a screenshot of the video and show Ken a picture of you kissing Penelope.
02:36No, Junior, that's not fair.
02:38It's not fair that you kissed Penelope and I didn't.
02:40No, Junior, come on, please, I'm on my knees for you.
02:43Ooh, I'm on my knees for you.
02:45But no, please, Junior, don't show Ken the video.
02:47Wait a minute, I got an idea.
02:49What, dude?
02:50I know what he can do.
02:51What?
02:52Stop hitting me with the money.
02:53All right, Cody, if you can get Penelope to kiss me, I'll delete the video.
02:56Okay, that's not that hard.
02:57Okay, yeah, I'll call her.
02:58But you have her number?
02:59Damn, y'all might as well get married now, dude.
03:02Well, yeah, it's just sometimes we study over the phone.
03:04What?
03:05Oh, man, dude, they're already married.
03:06I can't believe you, Cody.
03:08Do you want me to call her or not?
03:09Yes, call her, but call her in front of me.
03:10I wanna hear what you say to her.
03:11Okay, fine.
03:12Okay, it's ringing.
03:13Wait, what do you have her name saved as on your phone?
03:16Princelepy.
03:17Princelepy?
03:18I thought it'd say wifey.
03:19Hi, Cody.
03:21Hey, Penelope.
03:23Why are you calling me, Cody?
03:24You want another kiss?
03:26No, no, no, not for me.
03:28Could you just come over to Junior's house?
03:30Ew, no, I don't wanna go over there.
03:32What if I'm here?
03:34Yeah, I'll come over.
03:35Okay, bye, queen.
03:37Yas!
03:38What?
03:39Bye, queen?
03:40So you her king, huh?
03:41No, I'm a princess.
03:42We're both princesses.
03:43Look, it's a whole thing.
03:44Whenever she comes over here, I'll tell her to kiss you, okay?
03:48Wow, she came fast.
03:49Wow, she comes fast for you, doesn't she, Cody?
03:51Shut up, Junior.
03:52I'll go answer the door and talk to her.
03:54Hello?
03:55Hi, Cody.
03:56Hey.
03:57So, what do you wanna do?
03:59I need you to do something for me.
04:01Okay, anything.
04:02I need you to go upstairs and kiss Junior.
04:05Ew, no, I don't wanna do that.
04:07Come on, he's blackmailing me, and the only way he'll stop is if you kiss him.
04:10Hmm, how about this?
04:11If you kiss me one more time, then I'll kiss Junior.
04:15Okay, fine, but let's make it quick.
04:17Oh, no, I want ten Mississippis.
04:19Mississippis? I don't even like Mississippi.
04:21Do you want me to help you with Junior or not?
04:23Okay, fine, let's go. Go, go, go, go, go.
04:27Is she gonna kiss me, Cody?
04:29You kissed her again, Cody?
04:31No, no, I did this for you. It was for you.
04:33How was that for me?
04:34Because now she's gonna kiss you. You're gonna kiss him, right?
04:36Oh, no, that was not ten Mississippis.
04:38Oh, come on.
04:39Ten Mississippis?
04:40Aw, dude, you're a traitor.
04:41Why'd y'all do Mississippis?
04:42That's like the longest state.
04:43Why didn't you do like Utah or Ohio?
04:45Well, I didn't even want Mississippi.
04:46What's next, the Democratic Republic of Congo?
04:48What?
04:49No, I'm gonna go show Ken. I'm showing Ken that video.
04:51No, Junior, come on.
04:52Junior, no, please, I'm sorry.
04:53No, I'm gonna go to your house and show Ken this video.
04:55No, Junior, please.
04:56No, I'm showing Ken because you're the worst friend ever.
04:58Well, I'm not even gonna let you in my house.
04:59Oh, yeah, well, we'll see about that.
05:02Don't you close that door, Cody.
05:04Hey!
05:06Let me in.
05:09Cody, why you so mad?
05:11Cody, why you so out of breath?
05:13Yeah, somebody chasing you, boy?
05:14No, it's just... Wait a minute.
05:16Yeah, yeah, someone's chasing me. Kidnappers!
05:18Kidnappers?
05:19Oh, no, no one's kidnapping my little boy.
05:21Tyrone, get to bed.
05:22I'm on it.
05:23No, no, no, don't answer the door!
05:24Hello?
05:25Oh, I'm gonna start swinging.
05:26Wait a minute, you're not a kidnapper.
05:28No, I'm not.
05:29Cody, that's three spankings later for lying.
05:31Boy, what I told you about lying?
05:33So what do you need?
05:34Well, I just wanted to show his doll this picture of Cody kissing a girl.
05:37Oh, my God, he kissed a girl?
05:38Yeah, right here.
05:40That's so precious!
05:41Oh, by the way, I gotta see this, I gotta see this!
05:43Oh, thank you, Jewish Jesus, thank you!
05:45My son's a man!
05:46My son like women's out here, P-I-M-P, a pimp!
05:49Oh, my God, Tyrone, a little boy's a pimp just like you!
05:52Yeah, you know it, baby.
05:53Oh, we gotta celebrate.
05:54Yeah, come on in!
05:55Okay.
05:56Hey, Cody.
05:57Junior, what are you doing here?
05:58Your parents let me in.
06:02What the hell is this?
06:03It's your straight cake, son!
06:05A straight cake?
06:06Yeah!
06:07Yes, we've been praying and hoping that you finally realize you were straight.
06:10And thank you, Jewish Jesus, that you realized it!
06:13But I'm not straight.
06:14Cody, you kissed a girl!
06:15And you liked it.
06:16That's some Katy Perry shit!
06:17I didn't like it, it was gross!
06:19That's not the lyrics to the song, son!
06:21I'm gonna go show Ken the picture.
06:22But, guys, I gotta go!
06:23What, you don't want no more straight cake, son?
06:25More straight cake for us!
06:27Oh, I love me some straight cake!
06:28Hey, Ken, I got a picture to show you, look!
06:31No, too late, Cody, he already saw it!
06:33Ken, Ken, Ken, I can explain.
06:34Okay, we were at school today, and Junior wanted to play spin the bottle,
06:36and I said yes, because I wanted to kiss him, because you know how that is,
06:38but the bottle landed on Penelope, so I had to kiss her,
06:40so I did it, but I didn't like it,
06:42and then Junior took a video of it,
06:44and then he said that he'd show you,
06:45so I paid him $100 not to show you,
06:47and then he said he'd show you a screenshot of the video,
06:49and so that's what you saw there,
06:51but I promise, I didn't even want to do it,
06:53I would never cheat on you, unless it's with Junior,
06:55because that's what we agreed on.
06:56Okay, it's too late, Cody, he already saw the photo,
06:58so look, so Cody cheated on you with a girl.
07:00Ken, you're not mad, are you?
07:02Oh, thank God.
07:03What did he say?
07:04Ken said it's okay, as long as it was just a kiss.
07:06It wasn't just a kiss!
07:07Look, they're using tongue and everything,
07:09they totally made out right there.
07:11No, no, no, I didn't use any tongue.
07:12Well, ask Ken what would happen if Penelope got pregnant from that kiss.
07:15Well, she's not pregnant.
07:16Ask Ken what would happen if Penelope got pregnant from that kiss.
07:19Okay, Ken, what would happen if Penelope got pregnant?
07:22Okay, well, he said he would never talk to me again.
07:25Junior, what are you doing?
07:27I need my phone.
07:28Junior?
07:29So, what are you paying me $100 for again?
07:31You're going to knock on Cody's door,
07:32and when he answers, you're going to tell him you're pregnant,
07:34and you're going to repeat everything I say in your ear pod.
07:36But why?
07:37Because. Just do it. You want the $100, right?
07:39Yeah, duh.
07:40I said just do it!
07:41Ken, you're not mad, are you?
07:43I'll give you back massages every night.
07:45I'd never leave you or hurt you.
07:46Wait a minute, who's that?
07:47Hello? Penelope, what are you doing here?
07:49Say you got me pregnant.
07:51You got me pregnant.
07:52No, I didn't.
07:53Yes, you did. You kissed me so hard, you got me pregnant.
07:56Yes, you did. You kissed me so hard, you got me pregnant.
07:59That's impossible.
08:00No, it's not. The scientists announced on the news today
08:02that kissing can get you pregnant.
08:04No, scientists on the news today announced
08:06that kissing can get you pregnant.
08:08What?
08:09Okay, look, I'm going to have to see a pregnancy test
08:11before I even believe this.
08:12Well, I threw it away because I was so mad.
08:14I threw it away because I was so mad.
08:16Okay, just do another one.
08:18Chef Pepe, I'm not hungry right now.
08:20Chef Pepe, I'm not hungry right now.
08:23Wait a minute, is Junior telling you what to say?
08:25No, your mom was telling me what to say last night.
08:27What? Cody, who's at the door?
08:29Oh my God, it's the girl you kissed.
08:31Tyrone, get in here. Cody's girlfriend's here.
08:34What? No way. I got to see Cody's girlfriend.
08:36Oh, it's a white girl.
08:38Cha-ching, cha-ching.
08:39My son hit the jackpot.
08:41Come on in. We're celebrating.
08:43Let's have some cake.
08:44Okay.
08:45Come in.
08:46So, what's your name, sweetheart?
08:48Penelope.
08:49Oh, that was my grandmother's name.
08:51That was my ex-wife's name.
08:53Penelope.
08:54That was my ex-wife's name.
08:56Penelope.
08:57Man, she had the biggest hands.
08:59She did. He cheated on me with it twice.
09:01Actually, three times, baby.
09:03But who's counting?
09:05I didn't know about the third time.
09:07What kind of cake is this?
09:09Oh, it's straight cake.
09:10You never had no straight cake before?
09:12Yeah, it's straight cake.
09:13Straight cake.
09:14What's straight cake?
09:15It's some shit that they made up.
09:16No, no, no.
09:17You like whores, don't you?
09:19Yeah.
09:20So take a bite.
09:21Penelope, go in the room and tell Ken you're pregnant.
09:24Um, I have to go to the bathroom.
09:27Oh, wait a minute.
09:29Your straight cake is cold now.
09:31Okay, so what am I supposed to do?
09:33Tell Ken that you're pregnant.
09:34He should be laying on the bed.
09:36The doll?
09:37Yes, the doll.
09:38Tell the doll you're pregnant.
09:39Ugh.
09:40I'm pregnant.
09:41No, don't listen to her.
09:42She's lying.
09:43What the fuck is going on here?
09:45Penelope, why would you say that?
09:46That's not true.
09:47Junior paid me $100 to say I'm pregnant.
09:49Well, don't tell him that.
09:50Did you hear that, baby?
09:51She said she was paid.
09:52She's lying.
09:53See, this is why girls are icky.
09:54They lie.
09:55I'm so confused.
09:56I don't see what's confusing about this.
09:58Cody, what do we say about closing your door?
10:01Oh, my God.
10:03Tyrongan here.
10:04Cody's in bed with his girlfriend.
10:06Hold on, hold on.
10:07I gotta see this.
10:08Oh, my God.
10:09My boy's a pimp.
10:11You see that, baby?
10:12He skipped all the bases.
10:13Go straight for the home run.
10:14Okay, we'll leave you two little horn dogs alone
10:17so you can boink.
10:18Yeah, get your boink on, boy.
10:20Just let us know if you need anything
10:21like some Teddy Grahams or Capri Suns
10:23or whatever it is you crazy kids are into.
10:25Yeah.
10:26Um, what was that about?
10:28My parents are kind of stupid.
10:30Okay, so I'm going to go home now
10:32and spend my $100.
10:33You're not going to spend that $100.
10:34You owe it to me back
10:35because you didn't do what I said.
10:36And I'm going to take this earpiece out now.
10:38You can't do that.
10:39I own you.
10:40Before you go,
10:41could you help me explain to my parents
10:42that I'm not straight?
10:43Yeah, sure.
10:44Mm-mm-mm.
10:45This cake tastes straight.
10:46Mm-hmm.
10:47Mom, Dad?
10:48Oh, Cody.
10:49You done already?
10:50He did not learn that from his father.
10:52Don't give him a break, Tyrone.
10:53It's his first time with a girl.
10:55Yeah, yeah.
10:56No, guys, me and Penelope
10:57have something to tell you.
10:59Oh, my God.
11:00Wait, they're getting married.
11:01I knew it, I knew it.
11:03I guess it wasn't so bad
11:04since you want to marry him
11:05after the first try.
11:07He did learn that from his daddy.
11:08Ain't that right, huh?
11:09Ain't that right, baby?
11:10Yeah, I blew your back out, didn't I?
11:12Yeah, you did.
11:13Oh, I can't wait
11:14to have little Cody's running around.
11:15I'm going to be his granddaddy, y'all.
11:17No, guys, I'm not straight.
11:19But what about the girl, Cody?
11:21Yeah, you had a girl in your bed, son,
11:23and she want to marry you
11:24after the first time.
11:25Look, you're doing something
11:26with your pipe.
11:27Penelope, could you just
11:28please tell them?
11:29In great detail, please.
11:31Your son...
11:32Blew your back out.
11:33...likes boys.
11:37Throw the straight cake away.
11:38But, Dad, I...
11:39Throw the straight cake away!
11:41It's a waste of straight cake, Cody.
11:42There are starving straight kids
11:43in Africa who'd love
11:44to have that cake.
11:46Look, I am disappointed
11:47in you, Cody,
11:48and now I got to go
11:49and get the fruitcake out?
11:50You don't have to get
11:51the fruitcake again.
11:52Look, Cody, we love you
11:53no matter what,
11:54but this straight cake
11:55was $25 at Walmart,
11:56so we're kind of pissed.