• 2 months ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00My name is Mark.
00:15I cannot speak French.
00:21Could you please say that again?
00:27Please slow down a little bit.
00:58Oh, jeez. I did it again. I'm really so sorry.
01:04Emily, do you want to live in my apartment?
01:07Come on, I mean, even you have to admit that the floor number here makes absolutely no sense.
01:11You are very wet.
01:13What? Oh, yeah. I just ran five miles, but I don't really know what that is in kilometers.
01:20Can I get you a glass of water? It's a long way to the fifth floor.
01:23I have to get to work, but I promise I won't bang on your door again.
01:27No problem. Bang any time.
01:32You're funny.
01:38Oh.
02:06Ooh.
02:22Bonjour, la plouc.
02:26Vous allez te faire foutre.
02:30I think I like you.
02:34French is such a funny language.
02:36Why is it la plouc and not le plouc?
02:40I guess it depends on the plouc you're referring to.
02:44Look, I know that you all aren't that happy to have me here.
02:47And my French could use some work.
02:49A little bit.
02:50Okay. It's basically mired.
02:52But I have some ideas about marketing Delors that I would like to share with you.
02:56Delors.
02:58Delors.
03:00Delors.
03:01Delors.
03:02Delors.
03:03Delors.
03:05Delors.
03:06Delors.
03:07Delors.
03:08Delors.
03:09I don't think that's the account for you.
03:11I sent you the marketing plan before I got to Paris.
03:13It's weak.
03:15Oh, how so?
03:16You're piggybacking off the ad campaign.
03:18Very little social engagement.
03:20I know you're about to launch and you're keeping me out of the loop.
03:23True.
03:24The party is tonight.
03:25Tonight?
03:27What, you're going to tell me this never?
03:29Listen, I don't agree with your approach.
03:33You want everything to be everywhere.
03:36Accessible to everyone.
03:38You want to open doors.
03:40I want to close doors.
03:42We work with very exclusive brands.
03:44And they require mystery.
03:46And you have no mystery.
03:52You're very, very obvious.
03:57Maybe I am.
03:59But I do understand what it means to be on the outside looking in.
04:04I have a perspective that you will never understand.
04:06Because, no, I'm not sophisticated or French.
04:09And I don't know how to look like you.
04:11That slouchy, sexy je ne sais quoi thing.
04:14But I am the customer that wants it.
04:16And you're not.
04:17Because you've already got it.
04:19I don't even know how you did it.
04:22So you want to go to this party.
04:26Bien sûr.
04:27Fine.
04:28Be there at 8.
04:30Wonderful.
04:31Any tips on what to wear?
04:34Not that.
04:49Oh, there you are.
05:01Stop eating.
05:02Why are you eating?
05:03I'm sorry.
05:04It's just so good.
05:05And I'm so hungry.
05:06Well, have a cigarette.
05:07I don't smoke.
05:08Of course you don't.
05:09Well, they will kill you.
05:11Au revoir.
05:12Au revoir.
05:14Paul.
05:15Ça va?
05:16Ça va bien?
05:17Émilie.
05:18Quelle métamorphose.
05:19Très belle.
05:20Merci.
05:21Émilie has just arrived from America.
05:24Antoine Lambert and my wife Catherine.
05:27Enchanté.
05:28Enchanté here as well.
05:29Antoine, of course, owns Maison Lavaux.
05:32And he's the best nose in France.
05:34Well, it's very symmetrical.
05:38Not literally my nose.
05:40A nose is what we call the perfumer.
05:42The one who composes the scent.
05:44Émilie, unfortunately, does not speak French.
05:47And why do you come to Paris?
05:49Oh, to bring an American perspective on things.
05:51From a marketing point of view.
05:52And how do things look from that point of view?
05:55I think you have an amazing, sexy product
05:57that could practically induce pregnancy in older women.
05:59I mean, it's part of the reason why I'm here.
06:01Sorry.
06:02Never mind.
06:04Sorry, it's a long story.
06:06Please.
06:07I'm curious.
06:08Well, I do think we can do much more on social.
06:11Last year at my company,
06:12we marketed a vaccine to help combat the chikungunya virus.
06:15And saturated the web with such gorgeous content,
06:17we were actually responsible for increasing tourism
06:20in the Virgin Islands by 30%.
06:22If you googled tropical beach vacation,
06:24paradise, or even topless beach selfies,
06:26you were directed to our product.
06:28Oh, and the best thing is, we can track everything.
06:31Who views what, when, where, and for how long.
06:34What is she saying?
06:36Juliette from Marie Claire is waiting to talk to you.
06:39Please.
06:41Interesting ideas.
06:43It's nice to meet you.
06:47Are you crazy?
06:49You don't talk about work at a party.
06:51He asked me.
06:52Well, then you changed the subject.
06:54We're at a soirée, not a conference call.
06:56Oh, mon Dieu.
07:10How are you enjoying Paris?
07:12I love it.
07:14I mean, who wouldn't, right?
07:16I'm sorry if I was talking too much about work.
07:19Sometimes I just get a little overenthusiastic,
07:22and I know it's a party.
07:24Cheers.
07:26Santé.
07:29You're not wearing the perfume.
07:31Not yet, I'm sorry.
07:33Yeah.
07:35Try a little here.
07:37Try a little here.
07:40And right here.
07:51It suits you.
07:53Smells really good.
07:55I'm just not usually a perfume girl.
07:58Then why not?
08:00It's like wearing beautiful lingerie.
08:02Makes you feel more confident, sexier, happier.
08:06And of course, with the right chemistry,
08:08it can be an aphrodisiac.
08:10I will keep all of that in mind for our marketing materials.
08:13User experience is key.
08:16And how do you experience it?
08:18What does it smell like to you?
08:21Gardenia.
08:23Leather.
08:25Musk.
08:27And a little bit like sweat.
08:29Although that's probably me.
08:31It's like wearing poetry.
08:35I love it.
08:37Like wearing poetry, exactly.
08:40Perhaps you wear it and see how you feel,
08:43and how other men feel around you.
08:45Or other women, as you please.
08:47I usually please men.
08:49I prefer.
08:51I usually prefer men.
08:53Well then, you need to find yourself a nice French boyfriend.
08:57That's the best way to learn the language.
09:00In Belle.
09:01I have a boyfriend in Chicago.
09:04We're basically engaged to be engaged.
09:06He's coming here soon.
09:07I'm not sure that's going to help with your French.
09:11I'm very happy to have an American on my team.
09:13We will learn from each other.
09:21Expensive sex.
09:24Excuse me?
09:25That's what it smells like to me.
09:27Expensive sex.
09:30Well, better than a cheap date.
09:35I look forward to working with you.
09:38And to get to know you, Emily.
10:00Bonjour, Emily.
10:02Bonjour, Julien.
10:07Hey, very successful party last night.
10:10Antoine was impressed with you.
10:11He would like you to work on the account.
10:13Really?
10:14Yeah.
10:15That's great.
10:16I thought maybe I was too enthusiastic.
10:18I would love the help on the account,
10:20but we discussed that Emily was going to work on vaginogen.
10:24Yeah.
10:25What's vaginogen?
10:27So that the vagina can become mouillée.
10:30I'm sorry?
10:31Suppositories to promote vaginal wetness in older women.
10:34Because the weather in the vagina when the lady is older...
10:38Isn't so mouille anymore.
10:40I get it.
10:41Mouillée.
10:42Très bien, so you learnt a new word.
10:44So Emily will work on this for now?
10:46Oui, oui.
10:47It's an important product.
10:48A necessity.
10:49So first you start with the necessities,
10:51and then you move to the luxuries.
10:53Yeah, exactement.
10:55And your experience is with pharmaceuticals,
10:57so this makes total sense.
10:59Of course.
11:00Good.
11:01Good.
11:03Oh, also, I think perhaps last night
11:07you were a little too friendly with Antoine.
11:10What?
11:11No.
11:12He seemed very friendly with you.
11:15I think he was just being French.
11:18And you find him attractive?
11:20Yes.
11:21No, no.
11:22He's married.
11:23I met his wife.
11:24So you do find him attractive.
11:26He's a client.
11:27A married client.
11:29Exactement.
11:30And his wife is very nice and a very good friend of mine.
11:34I will send you all the materials for vaginogen.
11:46Something you should know.
11:49Sylvie is Antoine's mistress.
11:55Antoine is Antoine's mistress.
11:58Antoine is Antoine's mistress.
12:06That's a good one.
12:08Who's Antoine's mistress?
12:10Who?
12:12What?
12:16Who?
12:19What?
12:20What?
12:21Who?
12:24You never flirt with another woman in front of your mistress.
12:34It's worse than doing it in front of your wife.
12:35They were in the same room, to be precise.
12:37Oh!
12:38Then they probably know each other.
12:39I'm sure they're friends.
12:40Really?
12:41You think Antoine's wife knows about his affair with Sylvie?
12:43Of course!
12:44I'm sure she approves.
12:46Why?
12:47Nobody wants to have to have sex with the same person forever.
12:49I bet she has a lover, too.
12:52Okay, my head is just completely spinning.
12:54They're all in it together?
12:57I think it's probably tolerated more than discussed.
13:01But I don't get it.
13:02What's the point of being married if you're just going to cheat on your spouse?
13:06Maybe after you're married for 20 years, you might feel differently.
13:08I mean, the French are romantics, but they're also realists.
13:11Ah!
13:12Cue an alert!
13:13How do you know about this place?
13:14I live right down there.
13:15And every time I pass by, it's packed.
13:17Ah!
13:18Bon appétit!
13:19Santé!
13:20Santé!
13:22Santé!
13:23So, what brought you to Paris?
13:25At first, business school.
13:27My father insisted.
13:28He's used to getting his way.
13:31He's the zipper king of China.
13:33The zipper king?
13:34Yes.
13:35And also many other kinds of fasteners.
13:37He's got the world by the balls.
13:39Literally.
13:40And, um, well, it's his dream to have his only child, me, take over the family business.
13:47Well, what's your dream?
13:49Just anything but that.
13:51But ever since I was a child, I was obsessed with the idea of living in Paris.
13:55Um, so I enrolled in school here and dropped out.
14:00I'm used to getting my way, too, Rissy.
14:02So that's why you became a nanny?
14:03Yes, because when my father found out, he cut me off.
14:07Oh.
14:08I'm sorry.
14:09That's harsh.
14:10No.
14:11No, no, no.
14:12It's wonderful.
14:13I mean, I'd much rather have my freedom.
14:14Otherwise, I'd be living a very predictable life in China.
14:17You know, it's funny.
14:19I grew up with nannies, and now I am one.
14:21Well, I'm very glad you're here.
14:24Ugh.
14:25This steak isn't cooked at all.
14:27Um, excuse me, pardon, monsieur?
14:31Uh, I ordered this medium, and it's still kind of bloody.
14:34I'll have some steak, mieux cuit, s'il vous plaît.
14:37Uh, yeah, what she said.
14:43Just make sure to never order the re-devo.
14:45What's that?
14:46Rice with veal?
14:47No.
14:48Oh, I see.
14:49That's what I thought.
14:50I think it's brains or balls, but it tastes like ass.
14:54The chef tells me the steak is correct.
14:58Um, well, correct for him, but not correct for me.
15:02I suggest you try it.
15:04Uh, maybe you suggest you cook it longer?
15:06I'll take yours.
15:07No, no, no.
15:08Come on.
15:09The customer is always right.
15:10No, here, the customer is never right.
15:12Well, maybe I'll educate the chef a little bit about customer service.
15:16You think you're going to change the entire French culture by sending back a steak?
15:22Gabrielle.
15:23Emily.
15:26Mindy.
15:27You're the chef here?
15:29Oui.
15:30Is there a problem?
15:31No.
15:32No.
15:33I love it.
15:34Everything is perfect.
15:35You haven't touched it.
15:37You know, I'd be happy to burn it for you, but promise me you'll try it first.
15:41Yeah, try his meat, Emily.
15:47Here.
15:53Mm.
15:54Mm.
15:55Mm.
15:56Surprisingly tender.
15:57Tender.
15:58See?
15:59I knew you'd like it if you gave it a chance.
16:02Bon appétit, ladies.
16:04Bon appétit.
16:07I'd bon appétit him.
16:16Bon appétit.
16:47Hey, you must be at the airport by now.
16:51I packed.
16:53I took a week off work.
16:55And then I thought, what am I going to do there all day?
17:00What?
17:01I don't know.
17:02See the sights?
17:03I mean, Paris is kind of famous for its sights.
17:06Yeah, alone, while you're working.
17:09Well, our lunches are pretty extensive here.
17:12I mean, I could spend three hours with you in the Louvre in the afternoon and no one would miss me.
17:18Wait, is this about the Cubs?
17:21No.
17:23Because we can watch the playoffs in a sling box.
17:25You won't have to miss a game.
17:27That's not what this is about.
17:30Well, what is this about?
17:32I don't know how to do long distance.
17:36Well, you start by getting on a flight.
17:40I thought we'd figure this all out.
17:42No, you had this figured out.
17:45And I'm sorry if I don't fit into your spreadsheet, but I like our life in Chicago.
17:51This is Paris!
17:58Wait, are you not, like, coming here ever?
18:03I think you should come home.
18:06Or what?
18:08Over?
18:13I can't believe this.
18:15You know what?
18:16You can keep your precious air miles and spend it on some away game and stay in Chicago for the rest of your life.
18:21Because this city is filled with love and romance and light and beauty and passion and sex, which are clearly things that mean nothing to you.
18:33Whoa, whoa.
18:34Wait, I'm sorry.
18:35Are you still there?
18:36I think I lost you.
18:38You did.
18:39Wait, wait.
18:40Emily, wait.
18:41Emily.
18:42No, I'm done waiting.
18:44I gotta go.
19:08I'm trying that way again and again, there's no time for giving up.
19:32Bonjour, Emily.
19:33Bonjour.
19:34I'm trying the other way again and again, there's no time for giving up.
19:54Young vagina.
19:58I guess everyone wants one.
20:01The irony of menopause.
20:04Just when you have the time to really explore your mature, adventurous, sensual self, the vagina goes on strike.
20:32Are you kidding me?
20:39Why is the vagina masculine?
20:42Pardon?
20:43Why is it le vagin and not la vagin?
20:45Oh, you mean le vagin.
20:46Oh, I don't know.
20:47It just is.
20:48Maybe it's because it's something a woman owns and a man possesses.
20:53Your language is seriously effed up.
21:23This was a big mistake.
21:24I should never have come here.
21:25No, it's good you came.
21:27Better than wasting another minute on a man who won't leave Chicago.
21:30I feel like Alice through the Looking Glass.
21:32It's like up is down.
21:33I'll never learn the language or understand anything here.
21:37Do you realize the city is laid out in circles?
21:39Like they deliberately designed it to confuse us.
21:42It's an illogical culture, but it's a beautiful one too.
21:45Better to just let it wash over you.
21:47Yeah, but that's just it.
21:49I'm worried I might drown.
21:51Maybe I'm just not cut out for this city.
21:53You know, I thought it was going to be an adventure.
21:55And it is.
21:56Maybe an even better one than you imagined.
22:00I just never pictured myself here alone.
22:03You're not alone.
22:05You have a friend here now.
22:09Paris is the most exciting city in the world,
22:12and you never know what's going to happen next.
22:15Lauren!
22:16Where are you?
22:17What the fuck?
22:18Bye!
22:20Little shit.
22:23You'll be fine.
22:37Madame Macron.
22:46The red hat from Qatar
22:48Dressed up, we're the Boonga, Boonga
22:51Those of us from Monaco
22:53Well, that's the end.
22:55You're going to miss me.
22:57Stop it.
22:58You'll forget us as soon as you set foot in the South.
23:00Sold and abandoned, that's what we are.
23:02You know, nothing's going to change.
23:04And the girl?
23:05What, the girl? Is she that bad?
23:08She's tiring.
23:10Well, at least she's hot.
23:12Sorry, but...
23:13Honestly, it could have been worse.
23:14No, I like her.
23:15A check is enough for you.
23:17No, but...
23:22Oh, shit.
23:24What?
23:25I have a message from the president of Vagas Jeunes.
23:27Brigitte Macron just posted on her Twitter account
23:30something about their product.
23:31What?
23:32And it comes from Emilie's Instagram account.
23:34Oh, wow.
23:35Brigitte Macron?
23:36Brigitte Macron.
23:38The client is at your feet.
23:39Vagas Jeunes is not masculine.
23:41That's for sure.
23:46PHONE VIBRATES
23:50Oh, my God.
23:54Emilie!
23:55Emilie!
23:56Come join us. Come.
24:08Please.
24:10I guess you saw the post.
24:12Yeah.
24:13Emilie, you have made my last day here quite memorable.
24:18I'm so glad.
24:20Yeah, well done, Emilie.
24:22Well, I guess a new chapter at Savoie has begun.
24:24Thank you, Sylvie.
24:26I'm really looking forward to working with you.
24:29To our very own American Vagas Jeunes.
24:33To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:34To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:35To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:43To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:44To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:45To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:46To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:47To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:48To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:49To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:50To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:51To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:52To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:53To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:54To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:55To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:56To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:57To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:58To our Vagas Jeunes.
24:59To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:00To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:01To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:02To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:03To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:04To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:05To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:35To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:36To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:37To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:38To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:39To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:40To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:41To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:42To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:43To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:44To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:45To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:46To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:47To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:48To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:49To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:50To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:51To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:52To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:53To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:54To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:55To our Vagas Jeunes.
25:56To our Vagas Jeunes.
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