A Life That Thrives - David Ireland
A Life That Thrives - David Ireland
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00:00I want to begin a brand new four-week teaching series that's titled
00:05Relationships That Thrive. And so I start today by talking about a life that
00:12thrives. You can't have relationships that thrive if your life doesn't thrive.
00:17And so we want to start there. The word thrive, it means to flourish. It means to
00:23grow vigorously. It means to prosper. Interestingly enough, when Jesus came
00:30into the world, he says, I came to give you life and life more abundantly. In
00:36other words, Jesus says, I came to give you a life that thrives. And so it is the
00:42will of God for your life to thrive. Salvation is more than just being
00:47forgiven of sin. Salvation is the entrance into a thriving life. And if
00:53you've never experienced Christ as your Savior, you've never invited him into
00:58your life, I'm gonna give you an opportunity at the end of my teaching time
01:01to meet Christ because he sure would love to have you in his family. And that
01:06will begin your journey into this life that thrives. Let me set for you what
01:12Jesus said about a thriving life. Mark 6 verse 31. Then because so many people
01:20were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to
01:25them, come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. Let me
01:33paint the picture. The disciples had just finished a time of ministering to people.
01:41They went out by themselves. Jesus was not with them. Upon their return, they had
01:47so much to tell the Lord and so much to report as to what happened. But yet they
01:53could not because people were coming and going. They were coming to Jesus and
01:58they were coming to the disciples and they were just so, it was hectic, it was chaotic, it was
02:03overwhelming. And then Jesus said to his disciples, come with me by yourselves to a
02:09quiet place and get some rest. What Jesus was introducing to his disciples was
02:14this. I want to teach you about self-care, soul care. I want to teach you how you must put in
02:21place principles, keys that will help you protect your inner life so that you can
02:28thrive. And it's interesting that the American Psychological Association, they
02:34published this article titled, Fatigue in the Workplace. This was in 2019. And they
02:42said that mental health-related fatigue can reduce work productivity by 40%. As fatigue
02:51impairs cognitive performance, reducing one's ability to focus, make decisions
02:59and perform effectively. Another study pointed out that people who are fatigued,
03:04they were less likely to have a life partner. They were less likely to have a
03:09university degree. And they were less likely to be physically active and more
03:15likely to be obese. So this thing called fatigue, it really, it really zaps you on
03:22multiple levels. But I want us to take a step back because Jesus has called you
03:28to thrive in life. He's not called you to be someone that is so drained mentally
03:36and physically that you can't function or can't enjoy life. This passage of
03:43scripture presents to us three keys that I'm going to spend time unpacking. Why?
03:49Because September, it's almost as if, you know, as if it's a new year, so to speak,
03:53school year. But we really hold on to it as a new year. Why not put these practices
03:59and principles in your life so you can thrive? But let me bring you back to the
04:03verse so we can see what it says. Then, because so many people were coming and
04:09going that they did not even have a chance to eat, He, that's Jesus, said to
04:15them, that's the disciples, come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get
04:21some rest. I highlighted three words. Chance to eat. What is Jesus saying? He's
04:30giving us a key to a thriving life. He's saying, set limits. Limits are boundaries
04:40that ensure that you're not constantly in performance mode. The people were coming
04:46and going and it was very hectic and they're asking, you know, and asking
04:50disciples, pray for me, minister to me, answer this question, give me counsel,
04:55give me a response. It was very overwhelming. And Jesus now, amidst all
05:00the needs, all the, you know, the relevance of the people, the value of the
05:05people, He said to His guys, guys, guys, guys, time out. Time out. Come with me by
05:12yourselves to a quiet place. And what was the basis of Jesus saying that? He was
05:17saying that you have no time to eat, no time to rest, no time to relax,
05:24no time to recharge. You're always in this on position. In other words,
05:30you need proper boundaries in place to eat, to rest, to exercise,
05:34to take care of your familial responsibilities. And if you don't guard
05:38your emotional life and put boundaries in place as to what should be physical
05:44limitations, you're not going to have any longevity, any sustainability,
05:49you'll be of no value to anybody. Why? Because you have not set limits.
05:55When I was a child, I used to watch Bugs Bunny. You see where I get my sermon notes
06:00from? And so that was my favorite cartoon. And Bugs Bunny had this arch enemy,
06:06and Yosemite Sam. And Yosemite Sam was coming after him, threatening him,
06:12and Bugs Bunny went toe-to-toe and he drew a line in the sand. He said,
06:16I dare you to cross this line. In other words, if you cross this line,
06:20it's on. And so Bugs Bunny drew the line in the sand, and Yosemite crossed the line.
06:25And Bugs Bunny said, well, I dare you to cross this line. And he drew another line.
06:30And do you know what happens? When you don't set limits, that's what you're doing.
06:34You're acting like Bugs Bunny. You keep redrawing a line and you never really set
06:41a boundary, set a limit, set any kind of barrier to say, this is where I will put
06:49this line in the sand to say, I'm not going to go beyond that. Dr. Henry Cloud,
06:55who's a clinical psychologist, Christian counselor, said, boundaries define us.
07:01They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and
07:08someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Jesus was telling his
07:15disciples, no one else will set a boundary for you. Kids won't tell you parents,
07:22look, I think you've been working hard all day. Please take a break.
07:26I've never heard a child say that. They just want more and more and more and more
07:31and more. And you as the parent has to say that, I'm setting a limit.
07:36And so I want you to be aware of this. Jesus was telling us when you set limits,
07:43you're taking ownership to you. That's what it meant when he said,
07:48come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. He's saying,
07:52you draw a line in the sand and keep the line clear and drawn.
07:58That's your healthy boundary. You have set limits. Dr. Brené Brown,
08:06who's an author and social scientist says, daring to set boundaries is about having
08:12the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.
08:18There are people that's going to be very disappointed with you when you say,
08:22I can't, when you say, no, when you say, I've had enough,
08:28when you say, I'm drawing a line in the sand. I want to teach you a word that many
08:32of you have forgotten. It's a simple word and it's the word, no.
08:37Would you say that word with me, please? No. See, you've learned it and you need
08:42to use it. And when you use it, you've learned to set limits.
08:46Ministry and work were never designed to abuse, drain, or leave you on the ash pile.
08:54Set limits by organizing your life so that it's balanced. You may say,
09:00I've not seen balanced in years. You must avoid burnout. A balanced life allocates
09:06time for eating, sleeping, resting, building relationships, having hobbies,
09:15having fun. If your life lacks balance, you have not set proper limits.
09:22And so, no one else will set those limits for you but you. And so,
09:27it's your responsibility if you want to have a thriving life because it's so easy
09:32to have a life that, man, I'm frustrated, I'm angry, this is what they've done to me,
09:38and it's always they, and it's never me that's not setting a boundary.
09:44But there's a blueprint for thriving and a blueprint that's for a thriving life.
09:51In fact, let me tell you five main things that you need to focus on if you want your
09:55life to thrive. People who thrive evidence emotional resilience.
10:02They know how to bounce back. They know how to come back again. Why?
10:07They've taken time to renew themselves, recharge. People who thrive demonstrate
10:11a real passion for life. They're excited about work. They're excited about people.
10:18There's an enthusiasm about daily activities and even hobbies.
10:22People who thrive can showcase healthy relationships that are strong and
10:27supportive with their family, with their friends, with their colleagues. Why?
10:31Because that's a sign that you have set limits in your life. People who thrive
10:38display vital health and wellness through regular exercise, balanced diet,
10:45and ample sleep. I remember one guy told me he's trying to train himself on sleeping
10:50three hours a night. I said, why? He said, man, I got things to do.
10:56You know where that ends. People who thrive pursue continual personal growth
11:04through either formal or informal education, reading, or experiences.
11:09In other words, you have to think about, you have to thrive. What are you going to
11:14do to set limits in your life, boundaries that are healthy?
11:19When my oldest daughter was an undergraduate, she did it at Rutgers
11:24University, I went to visit Danielle, so I drove onto the Douglas campus.
11:28The moment I got onto the campus, the security officer flagged me down.
11:32I'm thinking, what did I do wrong? I wasn't speeding. And so when I wound my
11:36window down, he said, you didn't do anything wrong, sir. I just need your help.
11:40He said, I'm not allowed to leave the campus, but do you see the car in front
11:46of you that's off to the side of the road? I said, I do. He said,
11:49there's a lady driving that car. She ran out of gas. And can you be kind enough to
11:53take her to the gas station that's nearby, about a mile away?
11:57She has a red container that'll take a couple of gallons of gas,
12:00and you can just take her there, get the gas, and bring it back.
12:03I'll pour the gas into her car. I said, no problem. So she gets into my
12:07front passenger seat, and you know when you have a stranger sitting next to you,
12:10you want to strike up a conversation. So I'm striking up this conversation,
12:13and I said, well, tell me what's going on. She said, oh, she said,
12:17I'm pretty smart. So I'm waiting, because I know she's going to fill in the blank.
12:24She said, I carry this container around with me in my trunk, and whenever I run
12:31out of gas, I'm ready. Now, I must recall my childhood days again,
12:39when you watch cartoons, and the cartoon character wants to say something bad and
12:45mean. This cloud comes over the cartoon character's head, and they fill the cloud
12:51with all kinds of geometrical figures, and symbols, and asterisks.
12:55And in my car, because you can't say something bad, in my car,
12:58this cloud came over my head, and it filled up with all kinds of things,
13:02because what I wanted to say is that you are an idiot. How could you...
13:10Come on, the engineers design the car, when you're almost nearing empty,
13:16a yellow light comes on a dashboard, and maybe you have another 20 miles to go,
13:21maybe 30. But why test it to see if it's really 30? And so, she drained the gas all
13:29the way down, and she waited, and she ran out of gas. And so,
13:33she's prepared, because she's sharp. And you don't want to act like that,
13:37not on a place of higher education. If you're going to be dumb,
13:41be dumb off campus, not on campus. And so, she's really...and she's doing that,
13:47and so she's prepared. And I didn't say anything, my bubble spoke loud.
13:56I wonder if you're doing the same thing, because when you're nearing empty
14:02emotionally, you keep going. You're not watching the gauge in your interior part
14:09of your life when you know that you've been working too hard, working on style,
14:14you're on performance mode constantly. I want you to understand the need
14:18to set limits. We laugh about that lady, and rightly so, but did you look in the
14:26mirror and laugh at yourself? Because you see that yellow light.
14:33What's the yellow light? You're getting angry too quickly,
14:36you're too short-tempered, you're too impatient, little things are troubling you.
14:39All that's saying that it's not really you, it's that you're in this performance mode,
14:44you're in on mode constantly. And I'm saying to you, set limits.
14:54Let's go back to the text, Mark 6, 31.
14:59Then, because so many people are coming and going that they did not even have a
15:03chance to eat, He said to them, come with me by yourselves to a quiet place
15:11and get some rest. Here we see the second key to a life that thrives.
15:19Jesus is telling us, take breaks. Taking breaks, you submit to God's design
15:31of a life that has sacred rhythms to it. On, off. On, off. Work, rest. Work, rest.
15:41When your life does not follow the sacred rhythm, you'll find yourself exhausted,
15:50tired, empty, angry, or short-tempered, or prone to making mistakes.
15:59One would think that if I keep working, working, working, working,
16:02I'm actually being more productive. Actually not. You're actually less
16:07productive. This lumber company hired this young, wiry guy, didn't have big
16:17muscles, he's just wiry. And they paid him 30% higher than the big, burly,
16:25muscular-looking woodchopper. When the woodchopper found out about it,
16:30he was angry. So he challenged the wiry, wiry woodsman to a wood chopping contest.
16:37All day. He said, I bet you I can chop more wood than you.
16:41Let's go from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and we'll measure who's chopped more wood.
16:46The wiry guy said, okay, sure. Man, that big, burly guy chopped wood.
16:51He worked right through his lunch break chopping wood. At the end of the day,
16:57when they looked at both piles, the little, wiry guy had chopped far more wood
17:03than the big, burly, muscular woodchopper. The lumberjack was shocked.
17:09He said, I don't get it. Every time I looked over at you,
17:12you're sitting down and just enjoying yourself, taking a break.
17:16And the wiry woodchopper said, what you didn't notice was this.
17:21Every time I sat down to take a break, I was sharpening my axe.
17:28See, when you take breaks from this work cycle, whether it may be parenting,
17:36working outside of the home, I want you to see that you're able
17:41to sharpen your axe. Now, the work cycle is very important. I get it.
17:47Scripture says, if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat. We all want to eat.
17:52And so when you perform your duties, your task, your job, you produce results.
17:59You have to if you want to keep the job. But the work cycle must not go
18:04on in constant perpetuity. There must be times where you take a break.
18:11A study that was conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research,
18:17they found out during COVID where most people were working remotely,
18:21that the work life, the work hours increased by 48.5 minutes each day.
18:30Why? The lines between work and rest, because one's working from home,
18:36became blurred. And that was during COVID. Post-COVID, Stanford University says,
18:44we can't give you the exact number, but what we can tell you from our
18:47research data is this. The work hours, because you work remotely,
18:53is increased daily, because the lines between work life and home life is blurred.
19:03I want you to see that, again, no one's going to tell you to take a break.
19:08No one's going to come to you and says, I think you should take a break.
19:11Your boss won't say to you, most bosses won't, take a break.
19:15You have to put the brakes on and say, I'm taking a break.
19:19I was preaching in Australia years ago, and these guys were killing me.
19:23They're just...I must have spoken 20 times in about seven days.
19:28And at the end, I just had enough, so I quoted my favorite verse of Scripture
19:32to tell them, I'm not doing anymore, I'm not preaching again.
19:34And the verse was, save yourselves. I can't help you. In other words,
19:41you have to be able to get to a place where you put brakes in place,
19:46you put boundaries in place, but you then must learn that you're not
19:51designed to work all the time. There must be some Sabbath-keeping
19:57practice in your life that says, this is my break time.
20:02I was in Israel years ago and checked into the hotel, and I think my room was maybe
20:07on the 20th floor. I get into the elevator, I forgot that it was a Sabbath.
20:14So when I got into the elevator, the elevator stopped at every floor.
20:18And I'm getting angry. My mind was saying, these kids must have
20:20come in here and pressed these buttons. But it wasn't that.
20:24How foolish of me. It was Sabbath engineering.
20:27The engineers that designed the elevator said on the Sabbath,
20:30it automatically would stop at every floor so that the Jewish person doesn't have
20:35to work by pressing a button. I wonder, do you practice any level
20:41of Sabbath or are you always on? The famed English Puritan theologian
20:49John Owen said, the Sabbath is God's ordained opportunity for the soul's
20:56retreat from the noise of life, a holy intermission in which the soul
21:03communes with the divine, receiving nourishment and rest from the presence
21:08of God himself. I want you to see, you must choose a day
21:15each week that you say, this day, I'm going to recharge.
21:19I'm going to relax. I'm going to renew my strength.
21:23You may say, what am I going to do? Well, what did you do during high
21:25school days that was legal, that you can be able to enjoy doing in these days?
21:33I want you to see that you have to find something that is rejuvenating to you,
21:38that's therapeutic to you, that recharges you, whether it's reading a book,
21:42whether it's taking a walk, and you set that in motion.
21:46And when you set that in motion, it's amazing how it renews you.
21:50I admit to you that sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to shut off
21:55everything. It's one of the hardest things.
21:58I know for me, I struggled for years just to relax because when I relax,
22:03I think that I'm being lazy. But you're not being lazy,
22:06you're recharging. You're taking a break, a much-needed break.
22:12And if you violate this work-rest cycle, this sacred rhythm,
22:18you will pay a hefty and costly price. You may be very good at what you do,
22:26but that's no reason for you to always be in on mode. You may say,
22:30well, I got to prove something. I got to get a promotion.
22:33That's no reason for you to always be in on mode.
22:36It's the very antithesis. If you take breaks, you'll be more
22:39productive. The world wept back in 2020 for Simone Biles,
22:47the legendary gymnast, at the Tokyo Olympics. She had been working,
22:53working, working, working, working, working, working.
22:56That during the Olympics, as she was in the air doing her turns,
23:00she suffered what's referred to as the twisties. That's when a feeling of being
23:05lost and suddenly unable to make the right turns and the judgment as to,
23:10where am I in this move? And it was dangerous.
23:14And so she pulled out of certain performances and everyone felt sorry
23:19for her because you can see her weeping. But then since then, Simone Biles,
23:25she became an advocate for prioritizing rest and mental health and self-care.
23:32In fact, she meets with a therapist and she calls it Therapy Thursdays.
23:37Because when she meets with her therapist just to talk and to just unload and
23:43to provide self-care, it is amazing. Fast forward now to the
23:48Paris 2024 Olympics. In an interview with ABC Good Morning America,
23:54Simone says, staying on my weekly therapy sessions, even while I'm here in Paris,
24:02and scheduling up my appointments with the therapist, if she's available in the
24:05early mornings or I'm available only in the early mornings, I keep that so I can
24:10be able to make sure I'm mentally strong, I'm rested. She says,
24:16I attribute my Therapy Thursdays to my winning three gold and one silver medal
24:22in the 2024 Paris Olympics. What am I saying? Here's someone that's arguably
24:28the best female gymnast of all times. As good as she is, breaking record after
24:36record after record after record that goes down in history, she says,
24:41I'm not good. I'm not optimal. I'm not performing at my best if I don't take
24:48Therapy Thursdays, rest, and do my mental health and self-care.
24:55And I'm saying to you, whether you are someone that's global in your gifts or
25:00you're local, let's take a play out of Simone Biles' playbook. In fact,
25:06Jesus already told us. He says, take a break, get some rest. And how do you take
25:13a break? How do you get rest? Well, there are three easy ways to get rest.
25:17One, get away. What do you mean get away? Change your surroundings,
25:23take a break, go out to the park, go to the lake, do something.
25:29I mean, if you have to turn on the water, take a bath with bubbles,
25:33or whatever, change the circumstance. In other words, get away.
25:38And what else should we do? He says, come with me by yourselves to a
25:41quiet place. Not only do you get away, get alone. The noise of the world is very
25:46deafening. We're always involved in some social media connected to television,
25:52internet. We're always connected to someone. What about solitude?
25:58Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
26:05Mother Teresa once said, we need to find God and he cannot be found in noise
26:12and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. So I want to challenge you that
26:19you got to know how to get silent, experience solitude. No one's going to do
26:26this for you but you. When I first got married, I didn't realize that my wife
26:31recharges solitude. So she just pull away and go into the bedroom and she's quiet
26:36and I'm not there. Something, what did I do to her? And she schooled me.
26:40She said, honey, I need some alone time. Now after years of marriage,
26:47I give her alone time so she can recharge. And guess what?
26:52I need some alone time. I need to recharge as well. So not only do we find
26:57ourselves, we get away, we get alone, but we get together. Sometimes being
27:02with friends is so therapeutic. It's medicinal. And you're not with people
27:09that need counseling or coaching or mentoring. They're pulling on you
27:13for advice. You're laughing. You're joking. You're having a meal together.
27:18You're socializing. And it's so transformative. And sometimes if you're
27:21so busy, you can't get together with friends. You're just too busy.
27:26Jesus says that it's the will of God for us to have a life that thrives,
27:31for our life to flourish. And so how do you do that? How do you have a life
27:35that flourishes? You set limits and you take breaks. Let me bring you back
27:41to the text again so you can see the third key. Then because so many people are coming
27:47and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, He said to them,
27:53come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
28:00What is Jesus saying? Notice the three words I highlighted,
28:04come with me. Jesus is saying a key to a thriving life is recharging spiritually.
28:14Come with me. In other words, the presence of God spiritually recharges us.
28:20Who would have thought that somehow being with God in worship and Bible reading and
28:26just meditating on His word and just hanging out with God, it's medicinal,
28:32it's therapeutic, it recharges, it renews because there's something
28:36about being with God. When you're with God, He eases your mind from the pressures
28:43of this world. He fills you with wisdom. He helps you to see what's really valuable
28:48and what's not. He helps to right size and reorder your life and reprioritize
28:54your responsibilities so you can be able to just be in sync with God again.
28:59See, the presence of God is soothing, it's therapeutic. Charles Spurgeon,
29:04one of my favorite historical preachers said, nothing can so quickly restore the
29:10soul and reinvigorate the spirit as drawing near to God. Time spent with Him
29:18is the best cure for weariness and the best refreshment in the world.
29:25I want you to see, spending time with God refreshes us. Many years ago,
29:30I took the pastoral team to California to this wonderful conference for pastors.
29:37It was meant to recharge us. We're all busy and tired from all of our duties
29:42and responsibilities, and so we had no responsibilities there but just to enjoy
29:47God. And the moment we opened the door and entered into the sanctuary,
29:52the worship was already going and you can just sense the manifest presence of God.
29:58And my wife, she has a unique way of responding to the presence of God.
30:02You'll see tears streaming down her face. She just cries. It's therapeutic
30:06and it's just medicinal to her. She's just weeping as we're walking to our seat.
30:11And because I'm walking closer, people are looking and they made the connection,
30:15this must be her husband. And so they're looking at her weeping and they then
30:19thought he must have done something to her. You should have seen the faces
30:24of the women. The women especially, they were shooting daggers at me
30:28with their eyes. It was almost like the sisterhood, get him, get him,
30:32almost like a beat down was about to occur. So I'm walking and I got my head
30:36down because I'm looking at it. It just was, it was so, it wasn't good,
30:40it wasn't pleasant. And I'm sitting there and then she's weeping and I'm thinking,
30:44why can't you express your therapeutic response to God just like most of us?
30:50Sit there with your eyes dry so nobody can shoot these daggers at me.
30:56But the idea is this, the idea is that the presence of God,
31:01when in the presence of God, you reflect on past wins, past victories,
31:07and even past failures, and you re-evaluate how things could have
31:11gone differently had you been more attentive to the presence of God,
31:15to the word of God, to the promptings of God. In the presence of God,
31:20God ministers to you. You must know how to access the presence of God.
31:26For Elijah, he accessed the presence of God. It was raw honesty.
31:30In 1 Kings 19 verse 10, he said to God, God, there's nobody else that has not bowed
31:35their knees to Baal. I'm the only one left. And there, in his honesty,
31:41and he was zealous, he said, I'm zealous for you, Lord, and I'm walking upright
31:46with you. And there, the Lord manifest his presence to Elijah.
31:50For Elisha was worship. Elisha, you know, when the king of Jehoshaphat and the king
31:56of Edom came, and the king of Israel came and said, give us a word from God,
32:00Elisha was so angry. You wicked kings. If it wasn't for Jehoshaphat,
32:05I wouldn't give you the time of day, is what 2 Kings 3 verse 14 and 15
32:10points out. And then Elisha said this, bring me a harpist, someone who's gifted
32:18to worship. And the Bible says, as the harpist played, the hand of the Lord came
32:24upon Elisha and he prophesied. He knew how to access the presence of God.
32:29I'm saying to you, how do you access the presence of God? It varies for each of us.
32:35Maybe you need to spend some time trying to figure out, when was the last time I
32:40really sensed God's presence? And what did I do to sense his presence?
32:46Why not repeat that? Because God would so love for you to recharge spiritually.
32:54See, when you have a thriving life, family life is better. Relationships go better.
33:02Job performance goes better. If you're in school, you'll do better on an exam.
33:07I want you to see, God has made us human beings to need to be able to set limits,
33:15to take breaks, and to recharge spiritually so we can be at optimal condition.
33:22Jesus taught his disciples, I don't want you to soldier on because needs are
33:27around you that are great. Stop. Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place
33:33and get some rest. I want to take you through two little exercises as we close.
33:41Would you stand with me, please?