Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 Episode 9 What's My Line Pt 1
Category
đș
TVTranscript
00:00We're moving in. Who's Drusilla? I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire
00:06Drusilla was the worst. And you made her a vampire. First I made her insane
00:12You shouldn't be walking around you're weak
00:22Her book it took one of my books. Oh
00:26This is great, this will be very useful
00:47Are you a people person or do you prefer keeping your own company?
00:52Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default
00:57So mark none of the above well
00:59There are no boxes for none of the above that would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head and number crunching little world
01:07I'm sensing bitterness
01:09No, it's just these people can't tell from one multiple-choice test what we're gonna be doing for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous
01:16I'm kind of curious to find out what sort of career I could have
01:21I didn't suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid. I'd rather live in the dark
01:26Not gonna be young forever. Yes, but I'll always be stupid
01:32Okay, let's not all rush to disagree
01:36You're not stupid. I
01:38Aspire to help my fellow man
01:41check
01:42As long as he's not smelly dirty or something gross
01:47Yeah chase always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty which lucky me excludes you twice
01:58Is
01:59Murder always a crime. Do I like shrubs? That's between you and your God
02:05What'd you put I?
02:07Came down on the side of shrubs go shrubs. Okay. Oh, I shouldn't even be bothering with this
02:13It's all mootville for me
02:16Matter what my aptitude test has we already know my deal. Yep. I risk sub-minimum wage
02:22pointy wooden things
02:24Why are you even taking the test? That's principal Snyder's hoop of the week
02:28He's not happy unless I'm jumping believe me. I would not be here
02:32Otherwise, you're not even a teensy weensy bit curious about what kind of career you could have had
02:37I mean if you weren't already a slayer enough to the word sealed and fate ring any bells for you will why go there?
02:46You know with that kind of attitude you could have had a bright future as an employee at the DMV
02:53I'm sorry, it's just
02:56Unless hell freezes over and every vamp and Sunnydale puts in for early retirement. I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue
03:08I
03:10Read it again. I'm not sure it could be a
03:16Deframmatory
03:17ill a
03:19Babula
03:21inter debase the beef
03:26Canoe
03:31Why does that strike me is not right
03:38Come on give us some peace. Would you can't you see I'm working
03:47I'm sorry
03:52It's just this manuscript
03:55supposed to hold your cure
03:57reads like gibberish
03:59Even Dalton here the big brain. He can't make heads or tails of it. Hi. I
04:05I I need to change Mercedes
04:22No, I can't stand to see you like this
04:29We're running out of time
04:31It's that blooded slayer whenever I turn around she's mucking up
05:02Well
05:05Come on now
05:11Enlighten me
05:13Well
05:14It looks like Latin, but it's not I'm not even sure. It's a language
05:20Language, isn't that what a transcriber does not exactly? I
05:26want the cure
05:28Why not some people find pain
05:33very inspirational
05:36Can't help you
05:38not without
05:41The key the key in this book is in some kind of code
05:46Yeah
05:57Is that what we'll find this key
06:02I'll send the boys pronto
06:06Now will you don't oh
06:10You
06:12On the Slayer's grave
06:42You
07:12You
07:42You
08:12You
08:42You
08:57It's rest in peace have no sanctity to you people. Oh, I forgot not a people
09:13Oh
09:18One down one gone
09:42Oh
09:49Buffy scared me now, you know, it feels like stealth guy
09:56Just dropping by for some quality time with mr. Gordo
10:01Excuse me
10:04The pig oh
10:08Yeah, what's up
10:13Nothing
10:18Well, you don't have a nothing face you have a something face and you don't have to whisper
10:24Mom's in a ladle Thursday art buying or something. Then why'd you come into the window?
10:33Habit I
10:36Wanted to make sure you're okay. I had a bad feeling
10:38There's a surprise angel comes with bad news
10:47Oh God, I'm sorry. Look
10:50I've been cranking this all day. It's not you. What is it that it's nothing
10:59We're having this thing at school career week, how did you know I lurk
11:08Right. Well, then, you know, it's a whole week of who what's my line only I don't get to play
11:18Sometimes I just want you want what?
11:24It's okay
11:28Cliffnotes version I
11:31Want a normal life like I had before
11:35for me
11:37No angel, it's not you
11:42You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me
11:50I'll just get messed sometimes. I
11:54Wish we could be regular kids
11:58Never be a kid. Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robin creature the night boyfriend
12:08I
12:15Was this part, you know my life oh
12:19My god
12:21My Dorothy Hamill phase
12:24My room in LA was pretty much a shrine Dorothy dolls Dorothy posters. I haven't got the Dorothy haircut
12:31Thereby securing a place for myself in the geek Hall of Fame
12:34You wanted to be like her I wanted to be here
12:39My parents were fighting all the time and skating was an escape I felt safe
12:47When was the last time you put on your skates
12:51That a couple of hundred demons ago, there's a rink out past route 17
12:57Closed on Tuesdays
13:01Tomorrow's Tuesday
13:04I know
13:13Oh here I am
13:16personal shopper or motivational speaker
13:19meet-up
13:21Motivational speaker on what ten ways for more knowing you?
13:29What about you you're
13:32What
13:35What
13:38You and Angel are going skating
13:40Alone, unless some unfortunate evil pops up, but I'm in full see no evil mode
13:46Angel ice skating. I know two worlds collide
13:50Wouldn't you say you know me that as well as anyone else maybe even better than I know myself
13:57When you look at me do you think prison guard
14:02um
14:03Crossing guard maybe but prison guard
14:05They just put up the assignments for the career fair and according to my test results
14:09I can look forward to being gainfully employed in the growing field of corrections
14:15Well, we still be on the right side of the bars
14:19Laugh now missy. They assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals
14:24As in police as in polyester donuts and brutality
14:31But doughnuts
14:34Well, I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it
14:38First I have to deal with Giles
14:41He's on this Tony Robbins hyper efficiency kick expects me to check in every day after homeroom
14:48Please
14:50Yeah, didn't check to see which someone I was assigned to did you I did and you weren't I wasn't what on the list
14:59But I handed in my test I used a number two pencil then I guess she must have passed
15:04So the kind of test you pass or fail
15:08Your name wasn't up there. Well
15:24Buffy thank you
15:28I've been
15:30Indexing the water diaries covering the last couple of centuries
15:33You'd be amazed at how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these watches were color me stunned
15:40so I
15:41Trust last night's patrol was fruitful semi. I'm gonna cut one out of two vamps after they stole something from this jumbo mausoleum
15:50They were stealing. Yeah, they had tools flashlights all nine yards
15:55Does that mean anyway whole nine yards nine yards of what?
16:02Now it's gonna bug me all day
16:05Chow's you're in pace mode what gifts
16:11This
16:12Vampire who escaped did you see what he took? No, but I can take a guess and say it was something old
16:18You made no effort to find out what was taken have a cow Giles. I
16:23I just figured it was your everyday vamp hijinks. Well, what if it wasn't?
16:29This could be very serious
16:30I mean if you've made an effort to be more thorough in your if you don't like the way I'm doing my job
16:36Why don't you find somebody else? Oh
16:39That's right. There can only be one as long as I'm alive. There is no one else
16:44Well, there you go. I don't have to be this layer. I could be dead
16:48It wasn't terribly funny you notice I don't love wouldn't be much of a change
16:53Either way, I'm bored constricted. I never get to shop and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So
17:01Really when you think about it, what's the diff?
17:05Do we have to be?
17:06introspective now
17:08Our only concern is to discover what was stolen from that mausoleum last night
17:19You
17:24This is it then
17:28I can hear it
17:31Once you're well again
17:33We'll have a coronation down Main Street
17:37And invite everyone
17:40And drink for seven days and seven. What about the Slayer?
17:45She almost blew the whole thing for us she's trouble you don't say
17:54Rubble
17:56He's the knack my ear
18:00Bristle in my teeth. She's the bloody thorn in my bloody
18:09How to do something
18:12I'll never complete your cure with that bitch breathing down our necks
18:22I need to bring in the big guns
18:26They'll take care of her once and for all big guns the order of Turaka the bounty hunters
18:36They're coming to my party
18:42Oh, yes, but
18:45The order of Turaka, I mean isn't that overkill no, I
18:52Think it's just enough kill
19:11Oh
19:15Well
19:16What are you doing here? Why be free little bird you defy category?
19:21I'm looking for a Buffy. Oh, she went with Giles about an hour ago some kind of field trip deal
19:27She doesn't get back soon Snyder's really
19:30Done a great job with the fair this year hasn't he Xander principal Snyder
19:35Great career fair sir really in fact. I'm so inspired by your leadership
19:39I'm thinking principal school. I want to walk in your shoes not your actual shoes of course because you're a tiny person
19:48Not tiny in the small sense of course
19:51Okay, I'm done now
19:52Where is she?
19:54Who?
19:55You know who?
19:57You mean Buffy. I just saw her and don't feed me that I just saw her a minute ago
20:02She's around here somewhere story, but I did
20:06Just see her a minute ago, and she is around here somewhere for what it's worth. It's worth nothing Harris
20:15Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath an airborne toxic event well
20:22I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me
20:25And I can only hope that one day. I'm in the position to be that honest with you
20:30fascinating
20:33Well love to stay in chat, but I got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure. Ciao. Okay. See ya
20:42Willow Rosenberg
20:44Come with us, please
20:46Excuse me
20:47Let's walk
21:03I'll try the canopy. It's excellent
21:11What is all this you've been selected to meet with mr.. McCarthy head recruiter for the world's leading software concern
21:18The jet was delayed by fog at SeaTac, but he should be here any minute, please make yourself comfortable
21:25But I didn't even get my test back the test was irrelevant. We've been tracking you for some time
21:31Is that a good thing I would think so
21:35We're extremely selective in fact only one other Sunnydale student met our criteria
21:41You
21:59Canopy
22:04Slow down please
22:06Giles we have work to do remember get with the program you're behaving remarkably immaturely
22:12You know why I am immature. I'm a teen I've yet to mature I was
22:18simply offering some
22:20Constructive criticism no you were harsh
22:24God you act like I picked this gig but remember. I'm the picked
22:28What you have is more than a gig. It's a sacred duty
22:34Which shouldn't prevent you from eventually procuring some more
22:41gainful form of employment
22:44Such as I did
22:45Giles it's one thing to be a watcher and a librarian they go together like chicken and
22:53another chicken or two chickens or something you know what I'm saying
22:59The point is no one blinks an eye if you want to spend all your days with books
23:03What am I supposed to do carve steaks for a nursery point taken I?
23:07must admit I've never really
23:10Well now there's a thought have you ever considered law enforcement?
23:29I
23:41Guess
23:48It's a reliquary
23:52Used to house items of religious significance
23:56Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint no to self religion freaky
24:07Do you like
24:10I
24:12Hate when you say that
24:14Yourself as to lack was buried here
24:16He belonged to a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century
24:22Excommunicated and sent to Sunnydale, there's a guy big with a sinning
24:28Remember the books was stolen from the library by a vampire a few weeks ago. Yeah, it was written by two like
24:39I'm guessing it wasn't a taste of the Vatican cookbook
24:43The book was said to contain rituals and spells that reap unspeakable evil
24:48However, it was written an archaic Latin so that nobody could the sect members could understand it
24:56So everything's cool then it's not first the book was taken of the library and now the vampires have stolen something from deluxe tomb
25:04You think they figured out how to read the book?
25:08Something's coming back in whatever it is. I can guarantee it's not good
25:18I
25:48I
26:18Oh
26:21This is kalish yes. Hello. I'm Norman Pfister with lush beautiful skin care
26:26I'm not selling anything. So I'm not asking you to buy just to accept a few free samples
26:34Free absolutely
26:49Ah
27:08The hell
27:14Hey, that's supposed to be in here
27:18Hey, come on
27:48You
27:54So Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slid last night or is it slew
28:03both are correct and
28:05Yes
28:06I'm sure
28:08tonight with both
28:10Theologian and a mathematician this article describes an invention of his which he called the Delac cross
28:18So why go to all the trouble of inventing something and then giving it a weak name like that?
28:22I mean I'd have gone with the cross thematic or the amazing. Mr. Cross
28:31Cross was more than a mere symbol. It was used to understand certain mystical texts to
28:37Decipher hidden meanings and so forth. So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for your basic decoder ring
28:44It actually is I suppose I am
28:48According to this Delac destroyed every cross
28:52Except the one buried with him. Why destroy your own work?
28:55Perhaps he feared what might happen if it fell into the wrong hands a fear
28:59We'll soon get to experience for ourselves up close and personal
29:03Unless we can preempt their plans
29:06How?
29:08By learning what's in the book before they do
29:11Which means we can expect to be here later tonight
29:15Goody research party. Well, you need a life in the worst way
29:20Speaking up. I really have to bail but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay
29:26This is a matter of some urgency buffy. I realize that
29:31Well, you have to admit I kind of lack in the book area
29:34I mean you guys are the brains and only be here for moral support. Anyway, that's untrue buffy. You totally contribute
29:41You go for snacks
29:45She should go, you know gather her strength
29:49Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead
29:53But ho ho's are a vital part of my cognitive process
29:58Sorry, then someplace I have to be
30:11You
30:41You
31:11You
31:41Fuck me
32:11Oh
32:15He's passing under our feet
32:18right now
32:20No worries
32:22We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time
32:26Time is ours
32:29It brings the slayer closer
32:32I
32:38Mouth presents dead guys on ice
32:42Exactly the evening we were aiming for you're in danger. You know what the ring means. I
32:48Just killed a Super Bowl champ. I'm serious
32:51Just go home and wait until you hear from me
32:56Are you okay
32:59What about you that cut forget about me this is bad Buffy we got to get you out of here
33:05You mean hi. Let's just get you someplace safe. No your eye
33:11Hey, don't be a baby. I'm not gonna hurt you. It's not that
33:18What shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this
33:28I
33:39Didn't even notice
33:58You
34:16This guy was hardcore Giles
34:18An angel was power freaked by that ring. I'm afraid he was not overreacting
34:23this ring is worn only by members of the order of
34:28Taraka
34:30It's a
34:31Society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon and didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale Adult Bowling League?
34:39Championships a credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary bowling is a vicious game. That's enough Xander
34:50Sorry
34:53It's just not the time for jokes I need to think
34:56These assassins why are they after me cuz you're the scourge of the underworld I haven't been that scourgy lately I
35:04Don't know I don't know I
35:07Think the best thing we can do is to find a secure location
35:12Somewhere out of the way you can go until we decide on the best course of action
35:19Okay
35:21Now you and angel have both said to head for the hills
35:24Are you saying I can't handle this that I'm not strong enough to fight these people they're a breed apart Buffy
35:32Unlike vampires they have no earthly desires
35:37But to collect their bounty
35:41They find a target
35:44They eliminated you can kill as many of them as you like it won't make any difference
35:49When there's one it will be another and another
35:56It won't stop coming until the job is done
36:01Each one of them works alone his own way
36:07some are human some
36:11Are not
36:13Are not you wonder who they are until they strike
36:43I
37:13I
37:26What
37:29I'm sorry
37:31still not
37:32Clear what I'm supposed to try
37:35nothing
37:36God, I'm sorry
37:38I
37:42Tense person
38:08I
38:27Wish there was more we could do
38:29Doing all that we can
38:32the only
38:34Course of action is to try and find out what was in that stolen book
38:39Never seen Buffy like that
38:42She just took off
38:44Well, she didn't go home. I left the phone ring a few hundred times before I remembered her mom is out of town
38:51Maybe Buffy unplugged the phone. No, it's a statistical impossibility for a 16 year old girl to unplug her phone
39:01Perhaps my words of caution were
39:04Little too alarming you think it's good that she took you seriously jobs. I
39:11Just wish we knew where she was
39:34Angel
40:04I
40:34I
41:04I
41:25We're closed can't you read the sign? Oh
41:28Oh
41:35Hey angel, I didn't recognize you in the dark thing
41:41What uh
41:44What can I do for you tonight I need some information yeah
41:49man
41:50That's too bad cuz
41:52I'm staying away from that whole scene
41:55I'm living right angel
41:58Sure, you are Willie
42:01I'm taking up some baby
42:05Come on man
42:07Don't be that way. I treat you vamps good. I
42:11Don't hassle you. You don't hassle me
42:15We all enjoy the patronage of this establishment
42:18Have you but he's happy right who sent them?
42:24Who sent who the order of Taraka
42:28I tell you I
42:31Haven't been in the loop. Let's try again the order of Taraka. They're after the Slayer
42:38Come on man
42:43Was it spike look angel I got some good pigs blood in good stuff
42:51You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans it could take a while Oh
42:58Spike what's wrong corner me man. I'll take care of spike
43:02You know you wanted those guys
43:05Spike sick of your girl getting in his way
43:08I tell you that I'm gonna need relocating expenses. It'll cost you it'll cost who
43:16Okay, okay
43:17He and that freaky chick of his
43:28You
43:58Oh
44:11Who are you if you tell me what I need to know I won't hurt you you think this is funny
44:22I
44:25I
44:26Think it is funny now
44:29That's yeah
44:30The one I saw you with before you stay away from her
44:35I'm afraid you are not in a position to threaten when I get out of here
44:40I'll do more than threaten then I suggest you move quickly
44:47Eastern exposure the Sun will be coming in a few hours
44:55I
44:57More than enough time for me to find a job friend
45:11Xander
45:13No, no, I haven't even buffy it look look I think you should go to her house and check on her
45:19I
45:26Don't know get Cordelia to drive you
45:29Oh
45:47Don't warn the tadpoles
45:51Tell us what are you doing here? It's the library. Willow you fell asleep. Oh
45:59Hey, don't warn the tadpoles I
46:06Have frog fear. I'm sorry. I'm calm down
46:19Fortunately, I think I may have found something finally I did I found a description of the missing Dulac manuscript
46:27It's a ritual
46:29now I
46:31haven't managed to decipher the exact details, but I
46:36Believe the purpose is to restore a weak and sick vampire back to full health a
46:43vampire like Drusilla
46:57By George, I think he's got it
47:04The key to your cure ducks
47:07Missing bloody link was right
47:12Right in front of us
47:15the old time
47:17I
47:24Can't even believe you you dragged me out of bed for a ride. What am I mass transportation?
47:30That's a lot of the guys say but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay any mind. Oh great
47:35So now I'm your taxi and your punching bag. I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way
47:43Buffy
47:46Come on Cordelia, you want to be a member of the scooby gang?
47:49You got to be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then all right
47:52Cuz I lie awake at night hoping you Trico's would be my best friends
47:56And that my first husband will be a balding demented homeless man. I think you'd be in trouble
48:03And what if she is exactly what are you gonna do about it?
48:06I guess you haven't noticed you're the lamest and she's the super chick or whatever at least
48:11I'm the lamest who cares which is more than I can say about you
48:14Buffy
48:16I'm gonna check upstairs
48:22Buffy
48:44Good day, I'm Norman Pfister with lush beautiful skincare and cosmetics
48:50I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples
48:54free
49:13Yeah
49:44You must be number two
49:53Thanks for the wake-up, but I'll stick with my clock radio
50:07Come on don't make me do the chick fight thing cheek fight, you know
50:13Who are you who am I you attack me? Who the hell are you? I'm Kendra
50:43the Vampire Slayer
51:14You
51:36Grr argh