Dawson's Creek Season 2 Episode 16 Be Careful What You Wish For
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00:00Taking it after Tim died.
00:02My new doctor's not going to refill my prescription.
00:05She wants me to try therapy instead.
00:07Well, maybe therapy's not such a bad idea.
00:10All I'm saying is, is that I'm open-minded.
00:13My narrow-minded ways are open for discussion.
00:17This morning I told my father that I was gay.
00:20So you are.
00:23Awesome.
00:31Nelson, what's up? I came over as soon as I got your message.
00:33Oh, freak out.
00:34Why? What's the problem?
00:37It's almost midnight.
00:41Yeah, it's your birthday.
00:43In a couple minutes you're going to be 16. Congratulations, man.
00:45This is a major turning point.
00:47And I am eternally lost as a species on this planet.
00:51Oh, this is going to be bad.
00:53I'm about to be 16 years old in a matter of minutes,
00:55and I'm still me, the same whiny, adolescent, big-talking, little-doing loser that I was a year ago.
01:03Come on, Dawson, that's not true.
01:05It's absolutely true. I mean, think about it.
01:07Every single person that I know is growing up and moving forward in some way.
01:11All right? I mean, Joey is busy finding herself.
01:14You've got this whole stable do-gooder boyfriend thing happening.
01:17Jen is not necessarily moving forward, but at least she's moving.
01:22Even my parents are starting new lives.
01:24Me, I'm in the exact same place that I was last year at this time.
01:31Yeah, but you're turning 16, Dawson. Rejoice. This is a good thing. You're getting older.
01:35But there doesn't seem to be anything ahead of me but more of the same.
01:38I'm stagnant. I wonder if Joey dumped me.
01:42I mean, the only thing that I accomplished last year was realizing my feelings for her, and I couldn't even hold on to her.
01:48She dumped me. For a gay guy.
01:52Can we please talk about this whole gay man, straight woman thing?
01:55There's got to be something going on there that we're not seeing.
01:59You're right, Dawson. It's all part of the evil gay plan to keep the species from repopulating.
02:05I would keep a close eye on Andy if I were you.
02:07Come on, Dawson.
02:09You need to stop looking to the movies for answers to all of life's questions, okay?
02:13What you need to do is figure out what it is that you want and make it happen, okay?
02:20I need definitive. You're right. I need definitive answers.
02:26Joey is the answer.
02:29I had her, I lost her, and now I'm going to get her back.
02:33How's that for definitive?
02:50How's that for definitive?
02:51How's that for definitive?
02:52How's that for definitive?
02:53How's that for definitive?
02:54How's that for definitive?
02:55How's that for definitive?
02:56How's that for definitive?
02:57How's that for definitive?
02:58How's that for definitive?
02:59How's that for definitive?
03:00How's that for definitive?
03:01How's that for definitive?
03:02How's that for definitive?
03:03How's that for definitive?
03:04How's that for definitive?
03:05How's that for definitive?
03:06How's that for definitive?
03:07How's that for definitive?
03:08How's that for definitive?
03:09How's that for definitive?
03:10How's that for definitive?
03:11How's that for definitive?
03:12How's that for definitive?
03:13How's that for definitive?
03:14How's that for definitive?
03:15How's that for definitive?
03:16How's that for definitive?
03:17How's that for definitive?
03:18How's that for definitive?
03:19How's that for definitive?
03:20How's that for definitive?
03:21How's that for definitive?
03:22How's that for definitive?
03:23How's that for definitive?
03:24How's that for definitive?
03:25How's that for definitive?
03:26How's that for definitive?
03:27How's that for definitive?
03:28How's that for definitive?
03:29How's that for definitive?
03:30How's that for definitive?
03:31How's that for definitive?
03:32How's that for definitive?
03:33How's that for definitive?
03:34How's that for definitive?
03:35How's that for definitive?
03:36How's that for definitive?
03:37How's that for definitive?
03:38How's that for definitive?
03:39How's that for definitive?
03:40How's that for definitive?
03:41How's that for definitive?
03:42How's that for definitive?
03:43How's that for definitive?
03:44How's that for definitive?
03:45How's that for definitive?
03:46How's that for definitive?
03:47How's that for definitive?
03:48How's that for definitive?
03:49How's that for definitive?
03:50How's that for definitive?
03:51How's that for definitive?
03:52How's that for definitive?
03:53How's that for definitive?
03:54How's that for definitive?
03:55How's that for definitive?
03:56How's that for definitive?
03:57How's that for definitive?
03:58How's that for definitive?
03:59How's that for definitive?
04:00How's that for definitive?
04:01How's that for definitive?
04:02How's that for definitive?
04:03How's that for definitive?
04:04How's that for definitive?
04:05How's that for definitive?
04:06How's that for definitive?
04:07How's that for definitive?
04:08How's that for definitive?
04:09How's that for definitive?
04:10How's that for definitive?
04:11I must say it's nice to have a bit of tradition this morning.
04:14Speaking of which, I have to talk to your mom in private for a sec.
04:18It's birthday present stuff.
04:21Highly classified.
04:28Look, I know we haven't discussed it in light of the events of the past year, but we usually
04:36do give joint birthday presents, and I had an idea.
04:40I know you're a little late for this, Mitch.
04:41I've already bought his present.
04:43I'm giving Dawson his first car tonight, an Explorer.
04:51Well, that's a big decision, Gail.
04:54Don't you think it's one we could have made together?
04:57Well, you haven't been involved in any of the other decisions for this hospital recently.
05:01Say, for instance, the bills which, believe it or not, despite the fact you don't live
05:06here anymore, keep coming.
05:08I know.
05:10And I should contribute more financially, and I've put the restaurant plans on the back
05:15burner, and I've looked into substituting it to high school.
05:18I will help out more as soon as I can.
05:20But still, a new car?
05:25It's pretty extravagant, beautiful, and sexy.
05:27Let's go over this one more time.
05:29Okay.
05:30I invite Dawson out to dinner with Andy and me tonight.
05:32We keep occupied until about nine o'clock, at which point we make up some lame-ass excuse
05:37as to why we have to call it an early night.
05:39Then we drive him back to his place, where...
05:42I will have set up the most fabulous surprise party ever.
05:47I hope.
05:48I'm sure it'll be fantastic.
05:50Testimonial to true friendship.
05:52The party to end all parties.
05:54From here on out, the Leary household is going to be known as the Delta House of Capeside.
06:00Thanks.
06:01I don't know why I'm so nervous.
06:03I've never organized a party before.
06:10Fuck.
06:17Listen, Joey.
06:20Not to pry or anything, but...
06:24How are you doing with the whole Jack thing?
06:28I mean, now that you've had some time to process.
06:32God.
06:35Everyone keeps asking me that in these solemn tones.
06:38Like, I've just come down with a terminal disease or something.
06:41But, Pacey, the fact is, Jack is the one who's going through something.
06:46And, yeah, I admit, at first it was obviously a shock, but...
06:51Look, I'm fine.
06:53Really, it's...
07:04Hey, Jack.
07:05You guys serving lunch yet?
07:07Yeah, in about ten minutes.
07:09Hey, here's some menus you guys can look over in the meantime.
07:13Great.
07:14We're completely starving.
07:17Aren't you that guy?
07:20What?
07:21Yeah, the first guy to ever come out at Capeside.
07:24He was the one that wrote the poem.
07:26In the flesh.
07:27Oh my God, you're the gay guy.
07:30Yeah, right.
07:31Chasey, Kelly, this is Jack McPhee.
07:33Capeside's no longer an ambiguous resident.
07:37You know, I think it's so great that you came out and you're only 16.
07:42You know, I totally watched Ellen through that whole tumultuous year,
07:46and she didn't even come out until she was like 40.
07:50Can I get you guys something to drink while you're looking over these menus?
07:53You know, I just realized, you were the first actual gay person I've ever met.
07:58It is such a waste, actually, because you are a total babe.
08:02Oh, yeah, well, you know, I'd take that as a compliment if it wasn't coming from Satan.
08:07Jack, you have got me all wrong.
08:10I am not even one of his helpers.
08:12Well, then I guess I should compliment you on that clever disguise you've been wearing for the past couple months.
08:17We got started off on the wrong foot.
08:19True, I may have been flawed in the past, but sometimes people can surprise you.
08:26I mean, you should know a little bit about that yourself.
08:33It sounds like you've had a lot on your shoulders for a 16-year-old girl.
08:41Yeah, well, after Tim died, and my mother, you know,
08:48it felt like there needed to be someone to be the glue holding the family together,
08:54and I guess I was the most likely candidate.
08:58It's not a big surprise that you started to feel overwhelmed.
09:02Yeah, I felt like I was juggling all these balls in the air at once, you know,
09:08and if I dropped one, then they'd all come crashing down,
09:12and, you know, then I'd just start thinking about everything all at once,
09:16and I'd get these panic attacks where I'd start feeling like, you know,
09:20my heart was racing and I couldn't breathe.
09:23Andy, Andy, tell me something.
09:25Forget about saving everybody else, and even forget about your family for a minute.
09:30What is it that you want?
09:32What do you wish for, for yourself?
09:38I wish I could get rid of all my worries, you know,
09:42and be one of those people who just sails right through life, you know,
09:48and they do what they want to do, what makes them happy,
09:51and they don't care what other people think about them.
09:53And why couldn't you?
09:56I'm going to give you a prescription, Andy, but not for a drug.
10:01I prescribed for you one night of imperfection.
10:16You can get out of here early.
10:19You can get out of here early.
10:21I'm sure you want to get changed before going to Dawson's.
10:24Believe me, Bess, it's not going to take me long to get dressed.
10:28I mean, it's not like I have, you know, gussied up for anybody,
10:32seeing as though I've turned jacked up to women completely.
10:35Joey, you know that's not true.
10:39Yeah, I know. It's not true.
10:44I mean, intellectually, I know that it has nothing to do with me.
10:53Bessie, what am I supposed to do now?
11:01You paint.
11:03You concentrate on your art and yourself.
11:06You broke up with Dawson because you wanted to find yourself.
11:09Then you went straight into a relationship with Jack.
11:12Maybe this is a chance for you to do what you set out to do.
11:16I mean, look, any woman would be feeling the way you do right now under the circumstances.
11:22I think you're handling it with an amazing level of maturity.
11:27Thanks.
11:29Joey, can I talk to you?
11:34Sure.
11:37What's up?
11:41Well, it looks like we can add arts and crafts to your list of talents.
11:49I can feel that.
11:57Feel what?
12:00You, watching me.
12:03I mean, you think you're crafty, but I know.
12:09I can feel your eyes on me.
12:11You cannot.
12:13Sometimes. Can't you?
12:17I don't know. I've never really tried.
12:21Close your eyes.
12:27There.
12:29Can you feel me looking?
12:33Huh? Not yet.
12:36Now.
12:49I was speaking.
12:57Well, uh, morning, kitchen, gramps.
13:08It's freezing out. I just wish it wouldn't snow already.
13:12I know.
13:14Hey, remember what we always did when we were kids?
13:17Make a wish on the first snowfall?
13:20It always came true.
13:23Yeah, true.
13:25Well, except for the time I wished for the horse, a million dollars, and a trampoline all in the same year.
13:31I was greedy. What can we say?
13:34Enjoy it.
13:36Snow is so...
13:38Hopeful.
13:40You know?
13:42Yeah. Hope is good.
13:48So what are you hoping for?
13:52I'm hoping that we can get back to the way we were.
13:59Me too.
14:01And I've really been trying to get our friendship back on track.
14:05I'm not talking about just a friendship, Joey.
14:07Look, I can't deny the truth, but just plainly and simply, I want more.
14:14I want you back.
14:16Dawson.
14:17Joey, I was so confused last night, and then I finally realized that the only thing that makes sense to me is you.
14:26And I know that it's still there between us.
14:29I felt it during the whole Jack saga, and I feel it right now, and I know that you feel it too, because we're soulmates.
14:35Joey, you and I are meant to be.
14:39Period.
14:41The end. Cue happy ending music.
14:44Dawson, do you remember why we broke up in the first place?
14:49It wasn't about you at all, and it certainly wasn't about Jack.
14:53It was me.
14:55How I had things that I needed to figure out.
14:57Things that you're willing to figure out with Jack, but not with me.
14:59No, Dawson.
15:01We can't talk about this. You know why.
15:03Joey, if you and I are not meant to be together, then I don't know anything.
15:11Good God, Snowy.
15:30I can't believe I'm throwing a surprise party for someone who hates me right now.
15:34Just relax. I'm sure everything will work itself out.
15:37Dawson's out with Pasty right now, enjoying his birthday.
15:41By the time he gets here, he'll probably be in a great mood.
15:51I have always wanted to sit in the back seat of a cop car.
15:56Hey, I know! Let's turn on the sirens!
16:01I don't think that's the best idea, sweetie.
16:04Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
16:07Book him, Dan-O!
16:09So this is what it's like when they cart you off to prison, huh?
16:13It depends. It's more than one kind of prison.
16:16There are the state-regulated ones, and then there are ones that you're trapped in when your life is going nowhere and everyone else around you seems to be moving forward.
16:23So what happened to this pill this morning? Is it awesome?
16:26No, just a strong dose of bleak reality.
16:29No offense, but have you noticed that my only birthday plans are to play third wheel with my friend and his girlfriend?
16:35Okay, listen, buddy. On any other day of the year, I'd be more than happy to talk to you about this.
16:40But seeing as today is your birthday, why don't we try and concentrate on the positives, alright?
16:45Hey! Stop the car!
16:47What? What? What did we hit?
16:49Nothing. Just make a U-turn. I saw a really cool place back there.
16:53Okay, uh, Andy, could we please keep this impulsive streak that you're trying to indulge tonight from killing everybody in this car? Please, honey?
17:02Uh, doctor's orders. Remember, Pacey? You promised I could cut loose tonight.
17:09Yes, I did, didn't I?
17:12Okay.
17:16She's a disaster.
17:19She's a disaster.
17:21She holds me down and turns me back again.
17:27I'm not a disaster.
17:29I have my bonds, but here I am again.
17:35With my back against the wall.
17:39Think of the way I'm treated.
17:42Oh my god. I mean, Jack, you look amazing.
17:46Wow, it's like the transformation from John-Boy to John-John was all in a jar of dippity-doo.
17:52It's no big deal. I put a little gel in my hair. It's pretty much the extent of it.
17:56I guess you get gay, you get style.
18:00I wish I had nabbed you one sexual preference ago.
18:17Hello, Ty.
18:19Excellent. You're learning.
18:22Uh-huh.
18:32Okay. Explanation.
18:35What?
18:36Well, first this morning, and then right now. I mean, that's two kisses that you bailed out on today.
18:43Okay, it's just that we've been getting closer, you know?
18:47I know. It's called dating.
18:49I realize that, but when does it stop?
18:55You're kidding, right?
18:57Jen, you...
19:03You turn me on, and the closer we get, the more you turn me on.
19:10That's not such a bad thing.
19:12All I'm saying is that it's possible that things could get out of hand.
19:19Really?
19:22How out of hand?
19:24I'm serious.
19:25I mean, we've barely made out, and you're already worried about things going out of hand.
19:32Sweet.
19:34In a very 1956 sort of way.
19:37Oh, yeah?
19:39Well, how 1956 is this?
19:55Whoa.
19:56Who are you, and what have you done with my girlfriend?
19:59She's been here all along.
20:02Just trapped beneath the bondage of gap clothing and a good girl complex.
20:08Why, the good girl complex was part of your charm.
20:11Part of my charm, not all of it.
20:15Remember, we're having fun.
20:18Besides, Marley said I have to learn to let my it out to breathe some fresh air for an evening.
20:26What exactly are you letting out for an evening?
20:30It's what Freud calls your it.
20:32It's the part of you that holds your purest impulses and desires,
20:37and it doesn't judge or care what anyone thinks.
20:40It just wants what it wants.
20:43And what do you think it wants?
20:45Well, it's about letting go of all your preconceived notions of how you're supposed to talk
20:52or how you're supposed to behave and just letting loose for once.
20:58I could certainly learn something about letting loose.
21:00I mean, look at me, I'm sitting in a bar drinking a straight Coke.
21:04Well, we could do it together if you want.
21:07I mean, it might be good for both of us to get a little wild tonight.
21:15Try not to get too wild while I'm away at the washroom, okay?
21:20Can I get you guys anything else?
21:22Uh, yeah. I'll have another Coke.
21:26And could you tell the bartender to put a little more rum in it this time?
21:33Yeah, me too. I can barely even taste the rum in mine.
21:35Oh, sorry about that.
21:37I'll have them double up on the shots in the next round of make-up for you.
21:43Have you ever drank before?
21:44Never.
21:45Me neither.
21:53So, how does it feel to be the one who set this little hamlet on its heels?
21:59Look, why do you keep talking to me? I don't like you, Abby.
22:03Well, that's because no one likes me.
22:05I'm an outcast. Welcome to the club.
22:11This whole thing is just so ridiculous.
22:14There's no such thing as gay anyway.
22:17There's this weird label people came up with to persecute the normal inclination to go both ways.
22:25What do you mean?
22:27Well, we're all bisexual, don't you think?
22:31We're all just sexual animals under God.
22:34This puritanical society would make you think our natural impulses are something to be ashamed of.
22:41When it's really those kinds of attitudes that are the embarrassment.
22:45Don't you think?
23:03How are you guys doing?
23:04I think we're ready for another round.
23:06Sounds good to me.
23:07Two more coming up.
23:10How many cokes are you guys going to swill tonight?
23:16All right.
23:17As you can probably tell, it's open mic night tonight.
23:21So, who wants to come up here and sing the blues for us, huh?
23:24I know a little something about the blues.
23:26All right. Come on, then. Let's go.
23:28I don't think that's the best idea. Do you, sweetheart?
23:30Sure, yes.
23:34Guys, who's this?
23:38Guys, who's this?
23:54My name is Dawson Leary.
23:58I'm feeling kind of weary.
24:01Today is my birthday.
24:03Today is my birthday.
24:06Y'all look a little bleary.
24:10The girl that I cared for left me and ran away.
24:16Straight into the arms of a guy who turned out to be gay.
24:23I've got the blues.
24:27Yeah.
24:29Today I woke up feeling like I was born to lose.
24:36Yeah.
24:37I've got the blues.
24:43Some days you were born to lose.
24:47Here's my friend, Andy.
24:48She's going to sing a song because she's got the blues.
24:51Go!
24:54My name is Andy.
24:56And my brother's the one who's gay.
25:00My other brother died.
25:04And my daddy went away.
25:08But I'm still Andy.
25:11And my boyfriend makes me a randy.
25:16His name is Basie.
25:19And my mom's gone completely crazy.
25:22I've got the blues.
25:24That's right, secret sister.
25:27Yeah.
25:28Sometimes you swear you were born to lose.
25:35Oh.
25:37We've got the blues.
25:41Now it's time to put on my dancing shoes.
25:48Woo.
25:50Woo.
25:51Woo.
25:53All right.
26:05All right.
26:06I've been restless, hopeless, and confused.
26:13This girl that I told you about.
26:17She's been on the move.
26:20She's at my surprise party where everyone I know is right now.
26:28When I show up late there, they're all going to have a cow.
26:33Yeah, I've got the blues.
26:39We swear sometimes we're born to lose.
26:44No, brother man, we've got the blues.
26:47Yeah.
26:49We've got the blues.
26:52Yeah.
26:54Sometimes you know you were born to lose.
27:00Lose.
27:03Woo.
27:04Woo.
27:05Woo.
27:06Woo.
27:07Woo.
27:08Woo.
27:09Woo.
27:10Woo.
27:11Woo.
27:12Woo.
27:16You say we end this evening on a high note and get off to that not-so-surprise party.
27:21I think we're having a dirty lowdown time right here.
27:25Here? Here.
27:28Well, it's his birthday.
27:30That's right.
27:31So, what do you want to do next?
27:34Uh, you guys have been drinking.
27:38Excuse me, waitress, make this one a double this time with just a splash of Coke.
27:43Actually, you know what? Splash is too much. How about just a spah? No shh at all.
27:49That's just not...
27:50Before I bring you anything else, the bartender asked me to check your IDs.
27:56Check our IDs? Okay, you should have done that five drinks ago, because you know what?
28:01We are 16 years old! No, we are! And you know what?
28:07You, little missy, have just broken the law. You could lose your job over this.
28:11Not only could you lose your job, but you guys could lose your liquor license.
28:14And you know what? This is my boyfriend, and his father is the town sheriff.
28:18How do you know this isn't a steal operation?
28:20Hey, listen, she's kidding. It's a joke. Let's get out of here.
28:23I have my ID right here. You want to see it? I'll show it to you. I'll show it.
28:27What are you thinking, huh? 16 years old?
28:30Percy!
28:36So I was out in the garage, just looking to explore.
28:41Very beautiful, quite a gift. Of course, I always thought that Dawson's first car
28:46would be something like I had when I was a boy, you know, some old jalopy or something.
28:53What's your decision?
28:55Well, it seems that a lot of things that came with this marriage are my decision these days.
29:02Except, of course, the decision about the marriage itself.
29:24I can't do this.
29:39I'm sorry, Jen.
29:42You should be.
29:44Well, it's not entirely my fault.
29:48Really, what role am I playing in your personal inner struggle?
29:52You're tempting me.
29:57That's a load of crap.
29:58I'm sorry, Jen, but as attracted as I am to you, I don't believe in premarital sex.
30:07And no matter what you say or do is not going to convince me that it's right.
30:11You said anything about sex.
30:16Jen, I just mean that it's perfectly clear that with your history, kissing isn't just kissing.
30:21It leads to other things.
30:23My history?
30:26Jen, we're types of people.
30:30And just as I'm likely to be found in church on Sunday.
30:33I'm more of a Saturday night slut.
30:35I didn't say that.
30:36Then how come I have never felt more like one?
30:52His own party and he's not even here yet.
30:57What a guy.
30:59Do you really think it's true what you said earlier?
31:01About everyone having bisexual inclinations?
31:04No, absolutely.
31:08You know, the Julian Dawsons of this world are pretty advanced for their age in other ways.
31:12But with all the time they spend contemplating their navels,
31:16you'd think they'd be a little more open to the possibilities.
31:22Yeah, yeah, you're right.
31:27There's a whole lot of possibilities in there.
31:31In here too.
31:38You know, maybe you're not Satan after all.
31:42Or some.
31:43I don't think Satan has a belly button.
31:47Well, us outcasts have to learn to stick together.
31:52I can't believe this party is a complete disaster.
32:07No, don't get me started.
32:10I think?
32:11Yes, they are a rum and cokes.
32:12They got past me.
32:22Okay.
32:36Hey, it's my birthday.
32:37I can do whatever I wanted to do.
32:46And we're gonna get some coffee in here system.
32:48God knows I probably want too much to help.
32:50But it's the only thing I can think of right now.
32:51So come on.
32:53That's the blues, Joe.
32:55Do you know anything about the blues?
32:57More than I care to.
33:09The guy was talking about.
33:12You said he was gay.
33:15God knew he heard you and he decided to swing both ways.
33:19I can't deal with this.
33:42Not so gay anymore.
33:44Oh, perfect timing, honey.
33:57I was just gonna call you to come down after I lit the candles.
34:01It's time to make a wish.
34:03Awesome, honey.
34:04Have you been drinking?
34:07I'll make a wish.
34:07Okay, let's make a wish.
34:10I wish that my mom never slept with a co-anchor.
34:20I wish that my father would stop talking about getting a job and actually go out and get one.
34:26And I wish that the two of you would stop your petty bickering and at least pretend
34:31to be the adults around here.
34:33I wish that my best friend Pacey would just end this transformation in a do-gooder,
34:40A-student, and all-around sanctimonious teen angel and just go back to what he does best,
34:44which is make me feel good about my life because his is supposed to be worse.
34:50And as Jen Linley, with her drunkenness and her
34:54revolving boyfriends and her wild, wicked ways,
34:58I want to party with you.
35:06Ah, and there's Jack McPhee.
35:08Jack McPhee, who likes guys but doesn't mind stealing my girlfriend.
35:12Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, starring in his very own version of In-N-Out.
35:16He's in.
35:17He's out.
35:18He's in.
35:18He's out.
35:19He's in.
35:20He's out.
35:20In.
35:22Nice hair, by the way.
35:25Nice hair, by the way.
35:30And then, of course, there's my Joey.
35:38My sweet, precious Joey.
35:42The only 16-year-old in the world who needed to find herself.
35:47You know what?
35:49That's okay.
35:51I accept that you need to find yourself.
35:54And I accept it.
35:57All right.
35:58So, Joey?
36:00Joey?
36:00Where's my?
36:01Excuse me.
36:02Joey?
36:03Joey?
36:04Joey?
36:05Stupid mom.
36:06Joey?
36:07Joey?
36:07Are you?
36:10Joey?
36:11Joey?
36:14There she is.
36:15There she is.
36:16It's my Joey.
36:18Joey.
36:23Ow, Dawson.
36:24Oh, God.
36:48Oh, God.
36:50He's in for an explomation.
36:54Oh.
36:59Or is it my aunt's fault?
37:03Is it my fault?
37:08I learned one thing from my initiation into the evils of alcohol.
37:15You need to be careful what you eat because you're going to see it again.
37:20And again.
37:22And again.
37:24And again.
37:27Oh, God.
37:31I swear.
37:32I am never drinking again.
37:36Oh, God.
37:37I am so mortified at my behavior tonight.
37:39And to think that your parents saw me this way.
37:43Oh, God.
37:46If I survive this night,
37:48if anybody in my life ever speaks to me again,
37:51I swear I'll never let another drop of alcohol.
37:54Punch my lips.
37:57And if you ever see me pick up a drink,
38:01please remind me of how I'm feeling right now.
38:06Deal.
38:24Have we completely screwed up our son's life?
38:41No, he's 16 years old.
38:49You remember being 16 years old, don't you?
38:53All too well.
38:55Well, I'm taking the Explorer back to the dealer tomorrow.
39:02His behavior tonight proves to me that he's not ready for the responsibility of a new car.
39:09It was, I admit, possibly not the soundest decision I've ever made.
39:17We could go in on some old car together for him if you want.
39:25It sounds like a plan.
39:31Maybe we could cover the down payment and then he could work to pay off the rest.
39:37You know, maybe learn something about the value of money.
39:43And mistakes.
39:48I guess we're all still learning about that.
39:54So...
40:11Hey.
40:14Hey.
40:15Hey.
40:19You know, it's bad enough that I organized the world's worst surprise party, Jack, but...
40:29Abby?
40:32I mean, after what she did to your family and everyone else, I...
40:40I don't know.
40:41I guess I just thought that if you were gonna go straight again,
40:43you would have chosen someone like Cindy Crawford or something.
40:53Everyone's been telling me how okay they are with me coming out.
41:00You.
41:03Lacey.
41:05That poor girl's guidance counselor.
41:09Sorry for being so accepting.
41:11Would you rather everyone just turn against you?
41:12No, it's just...
41:16It's just that she was saying some things tonight that made me feel like I was just like everybody else.
41:26I guess I saw what I could have become with this whole thing.
41:30Somebody on the fringes like Abby.
41:32So if we hadn't walked in...
41:36I still would have stopped it.
41:39But I realized from the minute that I started that I was...
41:49That I am gay.
41:58You know, Jack, I...
42:00I think everyone feels alone and wants to be normal and I don't think anyone ever really does.
42:17I don't want to be singled out.
42:20You know, like I have some scarlet G on my chest, you know, like I'm the Alan of Capeside.
42:27But we're all going through the painful process of growing up.
42:32I mean, you just have this extra layer of difficulty, but...
42:38You're incredibly lucky to have people who support you.
42:44Just don't lose sight of that.
42:57I... I guess the thought of being gay just...
43:04Seemed like such a lonely thought.
43:11I just don't want to end up alone.
43:27I don't think we should see each other anymore.
43:42So you waited on a freezing cold porch to tell me what was perfectly clear two hours ago?
43:49I just need to explain myself.
43:52You know what, you don't.
43:54It's simple.
43:54You have natural, God-given impulses that everybody in your life has told you are wrong to follow.
44:00And so instead of growing your own conscience, you prefer to drag me through your grief and I'm not going to stand for it.
44:06Jen, Jen, you need to understand that all my life has been about the church.
44:13The teachings, the beliefs, they're all I know.
44:16Okay, so let me see if I have this straight.
44:18You're a Christian, but you like to booze it up and you like to party, right?
44:23And you judge people for being gay.
44:25You go around acting like heterosexual sex is the way of the Lord, but you won't actually have heterosexual sex.
44:32Look, I... I know it sounds complicated.
44:37I am struggling with the fact that I am a teenage guy with all the desires that go along with that.
44:43Desires that are in direct opposition of everything that I've ever been taught to believe.
44:48And when I'm with you, all sense of reason just flies out of my head because you're so beautiful and sexy and I want you so badly.
45:03I am so sorry that I hurt your feelings tonight.
45:08Please understand that this is about me and it has nothing to do with you.
45:14Ty, this has everything to do with me.
45:18I liked you.
45:20I know.
45:22No, you don't.
45:24No, I mean, I really liked you.
45:26And despite what you may think about my past experience, when I kissed you tonight, that wasn't my desire for something more.
45:35That wasn't my desire for something more.
45:37It was for something pure.
45:39Something that I haven't felt in a long time.
45:41But you ruined that.
45:43Maybe...
45:45Maybe someday,
45:47when I deal with my baggage,
45:49maybe this could work out.
45:51And nobody who can make me feel like this doesn't deserve a maybe.
46:05Hey.
46:07Hey.
46:09How you doing?
46:11I'll be fine.
46:13Once the room stops spinning?
46:19I'm sure you'll be better in the morning.
46:23Joey,
46:25whatever I said,
46:27I am so sorry.
46:29Don't worry about it, Dawson.
46:31Don't worry about it.
46:33Don't worry about it, Dawson.
46:35Dawson, I forgive you.
46:37I mean, even you are allowed to make a few mistakes in this world.
46:41And I'm sure that everybody else will forgive you eventually, too.
46:47You're pretty much told the truth, anyway.
46:49God, but the way I did it was...
46:51It was...
47:01I was so lonely.
47:07Sixteen years old and I'm so hopelessly lonely.
47:17Is that why you got drunk?
47:20Yeah.
47:28So why did you break up with me and run straight to Jack?
47:36Because he wasn't you.
47:40Look,
47:42it was never about looking for something better, Dawson.
47:46It was about looking for
47:48someone who
47:50wasn't so close to me.
47:54So I could tell where I ended and he began.
47:56I mean,
47:58our lives have always been so intertwined
48:00that in many ways
48:02I feel like you partially invented me, Dawson.
48:08And that scares me so much.
48:14I need to find out
48:16if I'm capable of being a whole person
48:18without you.
48:22I need to find out
48:26if I can be a whole person
48:30alone.
48:34Do it quickly.
48:38Okay?
48:40Because
48:42God, I love you.
49:08I love you too, Dawson.
49:12I love you too.
49:28I've been dying
49:32this whole evening
49:36just to reach out
49:38for your hand.
49:42I've been
49:44trying
49:46to keep
49:48believing
49:52that I might ever
49:54understand.
50:04And I know
50:08words
50:11fail you.
50:15And I know
50:17words
50:19fail you.
50:23And I know
50:27words
50:29fail you.
50:41And I know
50:45words
50:47fail you.
50:53And I know
50:57words
51:01fail you.