Seven Nights of… Audiobook part2/3
Seven Nights of… Audiobook part2/3
Transcript
00:00:00desk for an hour. What? She looks back at her laptop. Oh, sure, no problem. I can use the bed.
00:00:07I repress a quip about how we used the bed last night, and it most certainly didn't involve
00:00:13working or checking email. Now isn't the time. And as today wore on, last night's events had
00:00:19started to not sit right with me. But I don't have time to examine my selfish actions right now.
00:00:26I pull out my own laptop, open up video chat, and call home.
00:00:31After a few rings, the faces of Lacey, Amelia, and Francine fill my screen.
00:00:37Daddy! My girls cry ecstatically,
00:00:40and the sound of their loving voices calms the uncertainties inside me almost instantly.
00:00:46They've just had their breakfast, Francine informs me.
00:00:50What did you eat? I ask. Poo-poo.
00:00:54Lacey's stage whispers, and they both collapse, giggling.
00:00:58Come on, you guys, I say, but my mouth twitches up despite myself.
00:01:04Their laughter is just too infectious to resist. Tell your papa what you really had, Francine says.
00:01:13Amelia fidgets with the hem of her shirt.
00:01:16Waffle and juice and, um...
00:01:19Presley! Lacey screams.
00:01:23I glance back at a very startled Presley caught halfway across the room.
00:01:28I forgot my power cord, she mumbles.
00:01:32Now that Amelia has spotted her too, both girls are hollering her name over and over.
00:01:38Presley is watching me helplessly for some cue as to how to handle this explosion.
00:01:42Francine fixes me with one of her patented looks.
00:01:46She has many looks that I've learned to read over the years since my girls were born,
00:01:50and this one ranks among the most powerful.
00:01:53The expression that says,
00:01:55What the hell are you up to, Dom?
00:01:58Christ, all these women with their significant stares.
00:02:01I heave a sigh and relent.
00:02:04Come say hi to them.
00:02:06A tender smile spreads over Presley's face.
00:02:09I stand up to let her use the chair and lean over to one side,
00:02:13one hand on the desk so I can still see the screen.
00:02:16Though I'm focused on Amelia and Lacey,
00:02:18I can't shake the awareness of how close Presley and I are and how good her hair smells.
00:02:25How are you two little monkeys?
00:02:27Presley asks.
00:02:29Good, how are you?
00:02:32They chorus proudly.
00:02:34Their twin bond is freakish sometimes.
00:02:37That whole finishing each other's sentences is real.
00:02:41Presley grins in delight.
00:02:43Wow, so polite.
00:02:44Did your daddy teach you that?
00:02:47Amelia shakes her head as Lacey chirps.
00:02:50Franny!
00:02:51Ouch, as if I needed another reminder that I'm never home to do anything with them.
00:02:56Francine shoots me an apologetic look.
00:03:00I see.
00:03:01Nanny Franny is great, isn't she?
00:03:03Presley asks.
00:03:04There's little they love more than rhymes.
00:03:07The girls erupt into giggles and shouts of
00:03:10Nanny Franny that restore the smiles to all our faces.
00:03:14Do you want to show them your picture?
00:03:17Francine asks.
00:03:19Amelia's eyes go huge.
00:03:21Yeah.
00:03:23Francine holds up a sheet of construction paper covered with a chaos of circles,
00:03:27lines, and scribbles in all colors of the rainbow.
00:03:30Presley glances at me, looking lost.
00:03:32Looking lost.
00:03:33And I hold back a snort.
00:03:35It's not her fault she hasn't had as much practice as I have interpreting their drawings.
00:03:41What a cool dog, I say.
00:03:44And I like how big that tree is.
00:03:46Presley catches on right away.
00:03:49I love dogs.
00:03:50Did you see all this neat stuff at the park?
00:03:53We petted him, Amelia replies.
00:03:56Doggies say bark.
00:03:59They lick people because they don't know how to kiss right.
00:04:02Lacey explains with a very solemn expression.
00:04:05I know everything.
00:04:07Presley laughs, which gets them so excited that they start yelling over each other,
00:04:11and it's impossible to understand.
00:04:14You have to take turns talking, I remind them.
00:04:18They settle down only slightly, but I can't bring myself to quash their energy further.
00:04:23It's impossible not to smile while watching them chatter on,
00:04:26telling stories of the park that segue into the books Francine has read them before bed.
00:04:32It's astounding how attached to Presley they are,
00:04:34considering she spent about half an hour with them over a week ago.
00:04:38They clamored for her like she's as important as their Uncle Oliver.
00:04:42I should be a little jealous of Presley apparently being a more interesting
00:04:45video chat partner than their own dad, but somehow talking to them together with her feels natural.
00:04:53Yet again the memory surfaces of Presley sitting at my table,
00:04:56entertaining my girls like we were all a family,
00:04:59like that was how things were supposed to be.
00:05:03I shake away the thought.
00:05:05The hour flies past and all too soon Francine says gently,
00:05:10Time for us to go bye-bye.
00:05:12The girls look unhappy about this, but they both dutifully say,
00:05:16Goodbye Daddy, I love you.
00:05:20Then they astonish everyone by adding,
00:05:23Love you Presley.
00:05:26Presley and I look at each other in surprise for a moment before she replies,
00:05:30We love you too.
00:05:32I wish I could hug you two right now.
00:05:35I swallow a growing lump of emotion.
00:05:38I'll save them all up and you'll get so, so many hugs when I'm home, okay?
00:05:42Okay, promise.
00:05:45I end the call and step back to let Presley get up,
00:05:48stretching out the stiffness from standing so long bent over.
00:05:52She's still wearing such a soft sweet smile and before I know it,
00:05:56I'm launching into my half-formed plan.
00:05:58Listen, um, would you be interested in going out to dinner?
00:06:03Oh, sure.
00:06:04I'll change into something nice.
00:06:06Presley starts rooting through her suitcase.
00:06:09Who's coming?
00:06:10Other than Roger and his wife, of course.
00:06:12What was her name again?
00:06:13Monica, but actually, uh, it'll just be us tonight.
00:06:19I spent most of the day with Roger and there's only so much of his company I can take.
00:06:24She straightens up to blink at me.
00:06:26I pull my hand down over my mouth.
00:06:28I knew this conversation would be awkward and yet it's somehow even worse than I predicted.
00:06:33I wanted to take you out to apologize for how I acted last night.
00:06:39She watches me without moving.
00:06:42For which part?
00:06:45I eye her.
00:06:46She can't genuinely not know, right?
00:06:49With time today to reflect on it all, I know I acted like a dick.
00:06:53The odds are high that she's testing me, but I guess it's only fair for her to want a more detailed apology.
00:07:00How I treated you.
00:07:01I touched you in public without asking first.
00:07:04I didn't kiss you until you put your foot down.
00:07:06I played rough.
00:07:07I didn't hold you afterward, even though I could tell you wanted physical contact.
00:07:12I sigh, raking a hand through my hair.
00:07:15Sometimes I forget that I'm the only man you've ever slept with.
00:07:20She cocks her head.
00:07:21She cocks her head, a faint line appearing between her brows.
00:07:26What does that mean?
00:07:28You know, you're inexperienced.
00:07:31With a woman who's been around the block, it's more okay to play a little fast and loose because
00:07:35she knows what she likes and doesn't like and she won't be afraid to call a timeout.
00:07:40But I did tell you to stop.
00:07:42She fires back, crossing her arms over her chest.
00:07:46Doesn't that prove I'm capable of holding my own?
00:07:49I would laugh at her trademark resolve if I weren't rapidly approaching exasperation.
00:07:55I'm trying to apologize for not treating you better.
00:07:58I know, and I appreciate that.
00:08:00I just need to know you see me as an equal.
00:08:04I don't want you handling me with kid gloves.
00:08:06I agreed to this.
00:08:08She waves a hand as she searches for a word.
00:08:12Arrangement of my own free will.
00:08:15Even a casual partner still deserves to be treated right.
00:08:19She nods slowly, like she's confused over my choice in words.
00:08:24I tip my head toward the ceiling and draw a deep breath before meeting her eyes again.
00:08:29So, would you like to go to dinner with me?
00:08:33She stares back at me for a moment before softening.
00:08:37Yes, that sounds really nice.
00:08:40Her expression turns the tiniest bit mischievous.
00:08:44But it's still not a date, right?
00:08:47I keep a poker face.
00:08:49Right.
00:08:51Just wanted to make sure.
00:08:52I'll get dressed, she says, then heads into the bathroom to get ready.
00:08:57I should feel better having gotten that apology out of the way, but somehow I don't.
00:09:02I only feel more confused.
00:09:06Overlooking the Thames, we share platters of native Cornish oysters on the half-shell,
00:09:11and roasted vegetables and a variety of desserts.
00:09:14Although we're talking shop, analyzing the various offers I've received over the past two days,
00:09:19it doesn't feel at all like work.
00:09:21It's easy and fun, and highlights all the aspects of this job that get my blood pumping.
00:09:27Presley is so sharp, and we tune so easily into each other's wavelengths
00:09:31that our collaborating feels effortless.
00:09:34It's nice.
00:09:35Relaxing, even.
00:09:37With a business partner like her, synergy isn't just a marketing buzzword.
00:09:41Synergy isn't just a marketing buzzword, but something real and invigorating.
00:09:47I'll start bringing her to meetings soon, I decide.
00:09:50I was a fool to ever think of restricting her to my bed.
00:09:54She's too valuable an asset to be kept away from the negotiation table.
00:09:58The cocktails and conversation loosen my tongue
00:10:01until I'm rambling about my most unlikely dreams.
00:10:06Someday we'll be worldwide, I smile, taking the last sip of my wine.
00:10:11An Aspen property in every country, or at least one on every continent.
00:10:16I'll settle for that.
00:10:18Presley smiles at me over her glass of Prosecco.
00:10:22Even Antarctica?
00:10:24I realize I misspoke, but I go with the flow and joke.
00:10:28Sure, why the hell not.
00:10:30An ice palace with attached ski resort.
00:10:34And penguin-watching tours, she says with a giggle.
00:10:39It feels good to see her laugh, to laugh together with her.
00:10:43When was the last time I felt so good?
00:10:45Probably right before I found that fucking Genesis stuff in her bag.
00:10:49The worst of that is behind us now, but still.
00:10:52I can't deny it was a useful wake-up call, pulling us apart before we got too entangled.
00:10:57Too invested in a connection that could never last.
00:11:01I sigh, the reality of my life bringing me back down to earth.
00:11:05On the other hand, I really need to start trimming back my hours.
00:11:08I shouldn't miss all of Amelia and Lacey's childhood.
00:11:12That was meant to be another joke, but it came out downright dismal.
00:11:17You can do both, right?
00:11:18If you find good people to delegate to, Presley says.
00:11:22I rub my chin.
00:11:24Maybe.
00:11:26Easier said than done, but maybe.
00:11:28Your kids are so cute.
00:11:30I want to spend more time with them, and I'm not even their parent.
00:11:35She gets a weird look on her face.
00:11:37Sorry, I don't mean to overstep my bounds or tell you what you should do or anything.
00:11:42I didn't take it that way.
00:11:44What about you?
00:11:45How's your family?
00:11:47She rarely mentions her father, one of the many things we have in common,
00:11:51but she lights up beautifully when the topic lands on her brother.
00:11:55Michael is doing really well at school.
00:11:57He loves his classes, and she giggles.
00:12:01She giggles.
00:12:03He keeps talking about this guy.
00:12:05Every time we talk, it's Elijah said this, Elijah did that,
00:12:08or oh my gosh, Elijah's so cool.
00:12:10I chuckle.
00:12:12Are they dating?
00:12:14If Michael ever works up the courage to ask him out, we just might see.
00:12:19Toying with her last bite of dessert, she asks way too casually.
00:12:24Speaking of relationships, do you think you'll ever be looking for more?
00:12:30She's challenging me.
00:12:31She always does.
00:12:33I don't see how I could fit any more obligations into my already limited schedule.
00:12:39As soon as the words are out, I wonder why I avoided the question instead of just saying,
00:12:44no, I'm not looking for some big romantic love affair.
00:12:47For some reason, I'm reluctant to shut her down cold, even though I really should,
00:12:51because there's no way anything beyond sex can happen between us.
00:12:55It just wouldn't be sustainable.
00:12:57She's so young and has so much ahead of her.
00:13:00I'm jaded and overworked and I'm barely getting by with the two ladies who need
00:13:04more of my time than I have to give at the moment.
00:13:06It would be foolish of me to pretend we can make it work.
00:13:09We could always ask the cards for solutions.
00:13:13She taps her purse.
00:13:15We don't need to go to that extreme.
00:13:17I can see the future just fine.
00:13:19Us, 20 minutes from now, getting naked back in our hotel room.
00:13:24Presley meets my eyes and nods, but there's something conflicted in her expression.
00:13:30As soon as our door clicks shut behind us, I sweep her up, kissing her fiercely.
00:13:37My fingers find the zipper at the nape of her neck.
00:13:40I pull it down and let her elegant evening dress pool on the floor,
00:13:44revealing a satiny black bra with matching panties.
00:13:47I growl appreciatively and push my hips forward so she can feel what she does to me.
00:13:53You're stunning, I murmur.
00:13:56Her breath hitches.
00:13:58How do you want me?
00:13:59She whispers against my mouth.
00:14:02Well, if she's in the mood to challenge me, I know a way to challenge her right back.
00:14:06Something that will also ensure we avoid a repeat of last night.
00:14:10Tell me what you want.
00:14:12She blinks up at me.
00:14:14I thought you liked being in control, boss man.
00:14:18I'm changing the rules.
00:14:19You're in charge tonight.
00:14:21Think you can handle that?
00:14:24Her brow furrows for a moment as she thinks.
00:14:27Then she starts opening my shirt.
00:14:29Her delicate fingers working button by button.
00:14:32She stands on tiptoe to slide it back over my shoulders until I can shrug it off.
00:14:37Next comes my belt, which she sets neatly on a nearby chair before unzipping my pants.
00:14:43She's so methodical I'm amused watching her.
00:14:47When I'm bare, she nudges me.
00:14:50Lie back on the bed, Mr. Aspen.
00:14:53I do as she says, enjoying the view as she strips off her bra and panties
00:14:58while never breaking eye contact.
00:15:00No words are spoken as she straddles me, rolling her hips to spread her slickness over my erection.
00:15:06And damn, she's already wet and ready.
00:15:09Well, that makes two of us.
00:15:11My cock aches for her to get on with it and ride me already.
00:15:16But a niggling thought at the back of my mind tells me that it won't be that cut and dried.
00:15:25Chapter 12
00:15:25Get over here and ride me, he murmurs, his hand sliding up until he finds my breast
00:15:30and gives my nipple a playful pinch.
00:15:33Pleasure zings through me, both at his words and the feel of his hands toying with my breasts.
00:15:39Tucking my legs on either side of his torso, I raise up on my knees and position myself over him.
00:15:44Dominic lets out a soft groan, shuddering as I lower myself.
00:15:49Fuck, he grunts.
00:15:51Don't move for a sec.
00:15:53Don't move for a sec, he says as his hands tighten on my hips.
00:15:57My eyes sink closed at the exquisitely full feeling of him inside me.
00:16:02When I open my eyes, Dominic's hooded gaze latches onto mine,
00:16:07and his expression is filled with things I've never seen before, wonder and vulnerability.
00:16:12And of course, enough pleasure to end this ride in about three minutes flat if we're not careful.
00:16:17His hands find my ass and he lifts me, easing out and then sliding me back down again.
00:16:23We both groan.
00:16:25With his help, I find my rhythm, riding him as we gaze at each other.
00:16:29I plant my hands firmly against his chest, and Dominic rocks beneath me.
00:16:34His hand slides to my throat so that his thumb can find its destination, my mouth.
00:16:39I suck it in, relishing the taste of his salt and my own sweat.
00:16:44Then he drops his damp thumb between my legs,
00:16:46and I whimper at the immense sensations shooting through me.
00:16:50With each caress, I lose track of the rhythm of my hips,
00:16:54growing more and more erratic with my thrusts.
00:16:57Suddenly, unexpectedly, my orgasm washes over me in a powerful wave.
00:17:02I curl into his chest, rocking with pleasure.
00:17:06With one hand tangled in my hair and the other gripping my ass,
00:17:09Dominic thrusts hard and fast into me, his own orgasm right there.
00:17:14When it's all over, he cradles my still-trembling body against his chest.
00:17:19His fingers play with my hair as his breathing slows.
00:17:23I don't want to jinx it, but I think we're cuddling,
00:17:26and I'm pretty damn sure he's allowing it.
00:17:29I bury my nose in his neck,
00:17:31breathing him in and stretching my long legs against his until we're tangled together.
00:17:36And then, to make matters worse,
00:17:38I feel the soft press of his lips on the top of my head.
00:17:42A kiss with no expectations, just tenderness.
00:17:46Damn.
00:17:47I squeeze my eyes closed.
00:17:49I'm falling so hard for you, you confusing-as-hell man.
00:17:54I don't want to think about the repercussions of that just yet.
00:17:57Instead, I welcome a deep, uninterrupted sleep wrapped in his strong arms.
00:18:02The rest of our time in London is everything I wanted it to be.
00:18:06I sit in private meetings with him, now invited as a special guest.
00:18:10I consult with him after,
00:18:11weighing options and crunching numbers over mug after mug of tea.
00:18:16I've learned more in four days of business boot camp than I did during four years of college,
00:18:21reading every textbook on the subject.
00:18:24On top of that, I've been exposed to how business works in a foreign country,
00:18:28specifically one known for its hotels.
00:18:30Specifically one known for its hotel industry.
00:18:33Being at Dominic's side, I have access to every brilliant mind in the business.
00:18:38We also have sex.
00:18:40Lots and lots of sex.
00:18:42An insane amount of sex.
00:18:44In our bed.
00:18:45In the shower.
00:18:46Once in the massive tub.
00:18:48Against the vanity.
00:18:49It really doesn't take much to get him riled up.
00:18:52Or me, for that matter.
00:18:54His sexual appetite turns me on, if I'm being honest.
00:18:58As soon as I see his eyes go dark and his lips part,
00:19:00I know exactly what his thoughts are.
00:19:02And he knows mine.
00:19:04Knowing Dominic in this way has been so incredibly fulfilling.
00:19:09Sure, it's just sex.
00:19:10That's what Bianca would say.
00:19:12Yet I can't help but feel the protective layer of my heart dissolve,
00:19:15allowing admiration to unfurl and blossom into honest affection.
00:19:20In those quiet moments between the soft kisses and dozing in his arms,
00:19:24I feel like I have a damn good chance at knowing all of him.
00:19:27As long as he'll let me.
00:19:31Okay, I put the cart ahead of the horse again.
00:19:34The hum of the plane's engine would normally calm me,
00:19:36but I'm rigid and anxious.
00:19:38As soon as we boarded,
00:19:40I sensed yet another mood swing in Dominic.
00:19:42His profile is hard and cold as he types away at his laptop,
00:19:46utterly ignoring my presence.
00:19:48He's back to business as usual,
00:19:50treating me as he would any colleague at work.
00:19:53I've got some emails to send,
00:19:55he said as soon as he sat down.
00:19:57Before I could ask him what I could help with,
00:19:59he popped in his earbuds.
00:20:01Nice.
00:20:02I order some wine from the flight attendant.
00:20:05His moodiness is getting really, really aggravating.
00:20:09Just this morning we were fucking each other's brains out in bed,
00:20:11literally one flesh.
00:20:14Now I've been given the millennial equivalent of talk to the hand.
00:20:18I take a sip of my rosé,
00:20:20not at all caring that it's early afternoon and hardly drinking hours.
00:20:24If I'm going to be yanked around like this,
00:20:26I'm going to need a little liquid courage.
00:20:29What if I really like him?
00:20:31What does that mean for me?
00:20:32It's not like I could suddenly squeeze into his life.
00:20:35He has zero time for another human being,
00:20:38and even if he did,
00:20:39he would be extremely particular about his choice in a partner.
00:20:43He has two children to raise, after all.
00:20:46The mere thought of stepping into the role of mother makes me feel ill.
00:20:51I'm so young.
00:20:52I'm not ready to raise children.
00:20:54I barely consider myself an adult yet.
00:20:56And it's been hard enough for me to help Michael out.
00:21:00I have no idea what I'm doing,
00:21:02and Dominic certainly isn't giving me any clues.
00:21:05Well, that decides it.
00:21:07What happened in London will just have to stay in London.
00:21:10If he's going to be cold and detached,
00:21:12then so will I.
00:21:14It's better for my work anyway.
00:21:16I can finally utilize the tools I've acquired
00:21:19and actually make something of myself.
00:21:21I can focus on me.
00:21:27Chapter 13
00:21:30You look stressed,
00:21:31Michael says in lieu of a hello,
00:21:33kissing my cheek.
00:21:34Thanks?
00:21:35I shake my head.
00:21:36That for me?
00:21:38He nods at the coffee on the table
00:21:40and slides it closer to me
00:21:41while I take a seat across from him.
00:21:43I hope you're not stressing about the money again, sis,
00:21:46because I shake my head.
00:21:48No, nothing like that.
00:21:50To be honest,
00:21:51I'm always worried about money.
00:21:53But for once,
00:21:54something else is occupying more of my brain space
00:21:57than the dwindling balance in my checking account.
00:22:00Actually, I'm having some guy troubles.
00:22:03Yeah?
00:22:03Michael says,
00:22:04watching me curiously.
00:22:06I have no idea why,
00:22:07but I realize we've never discussed things like this before.
00:22:11You know that happens to be my specialty, right?
00:22:14Guys?
00:22:15I ask,
00:22:16grinning at him.
00:22:17He nods,
00:22:18satisfied with himself.
00:22:20If it's got a dick,
00:22:21I can help.
00:22:22Lay it on me.
00:22:23Michael,
00:22:24I chuckle,
00:22:25taking a sip of my coffee.
00:22:27I haven't seen him in a few weeks,
00:22:29but after arriving home from London late last night,
00:22:31his was the first number I called.
00:22:34I slide over the small magnet
00:22:35I got him from the hotel gift shop,
00:22:37and he lifts it in his palm,
00:22:39eyeing it curiously.
00:22:41What's this?
00:22:42A little souvenir.
00:22:44It made me think of you,
00:22:45I shrug.
00:22:46Michael's lips twitch.
00:22:48I love it,
00:22:49but you're not going to get out of talking about this.
00:22:52Seriously,
00:22:53tell me.
00:22:54What seems to be the problem?
00:22:56I take a deep breath and release it slowly,
00:22:59debating on where to start.
00:23:01Surely I can't admit to my little brother
00:23:03the entire messy extent of what's gone down
00:23:05between Dominic and me,
00:23:07can I?
00:23:08It's a little complicated,
00:23:10I say,
00:23:10stalling for time
00:23:11and picking at the label on the paper cup.
00:23:14It always is.
00:23:15He sighs.
00:23:17Guys suck sometimes.
00:23:19He nods.
00:23:20That we do.
00:23:21He slips the magnet into his bag
00:23:23and waits for me to continue.
00:23:25I just...
00:23:27I feel like everything has spiraled out of control
00:23:29with the guy I've been seeing.
00:23:31He's older,
00:23:32only by a few years,
00:23:33but he has two kids.
00:23:35Michael's eyes widen.
00:23:36I know.
00:23:38He's a single dad,
00:23:39but that's not the part that's causing issues.
00:23:42His little girls are amazing, actually,
00:23:43but he...
00:23:44I put my face in my hands.
00:23:46I can't believe I'm about to admit this to my little brother.
00:23:50Out with it.
00:23:51I grin,
00:23:52somehow amused at seeing this grown-up side to him.
00:23:56He wanted to keep things casual,
00:23:58I say with an eyebrow wiggle,
00:24:00hoping Michael can read between the lines
00:24:01so I don't have to admit the extent of my debauchery.
00:24:05And with my boss, no less.
00:24:07Ah,
00:24:08the good old fuck buddy who swears he doesn't want something serious.
00:24:12Yes.
00:24:13Happens all the time,
00:24:15he says sadly.
00:24:16So what am I supposed to do?
00:24:18Call him on it?
00:24:20Demand he change?
00:24:21Michael frowns, shaking his head.
00:24:24Nope.
00:24:25That would only backfire.
00:24:27I figured as much.
00:24:28And I don't want to put more pressure on Dominic.
00:24:31His life is filled with it already.
00:24:33I want him to choose me because he wants me,
00:24:36just like I want him.
00:24:38So what am I supposed to do?
00:24:40I ask.
00:24:42Without missing a beat,
00:24:43Michael leans forward.
00:24:45Take Jude my freshman year, for example.
00:24:48My eyes widen.
00:24:50You slept with Jude?
00:24:51I didn't even know he was gay.
00:24:53He shrugs, waving me off.
00:24:56I don't think Jude knows he's gay.
00:24:58But yeah,
00:24:59even if he didn't want to admit that to himself
00:25:01or even take one step out of that closet,
00:25:04he wanted me.
00:25:05And I gave him what he wanted.
00:25:07But once we slept together, that was it.
00:25:10He ghosted me and pretended it never happened.
00:25:12I make a face.
00:25:14Jeez, Michael.
00:25:16I don't know if I want to hear about your sex life in vivid detail.
00:25:19He purses his lips.
00:25:21Don't be such a baby.
00:25:22It's not a big deal.
00:25:24And not everyone remains a virgin until they're 82, Ms. Priss.
00:25:28I roll my eyes at him.
00:25:29I was 22, not 82, you ass!
00:25:33Still, he says.
00:25:35This is an area I know a lot more about than you do.
00:25:38So, do you want my advice or not?
00:25:41I sigh in resignation.
00:25:43My little brother is right.
00:25:45Okay.
00:25:46Yeah, I do.
00:25:47Sorry for overreacting.
00:25:49I need the advice because, honestly, everything I've tried has failed.
00:25:53Michael smiles.
00:25:54Tell me what you've tried.
00:25:56Well, I've tried being the casual friend with benefits he says he wants.
00:26:01I've tried putting myself out there more, pushing him a bit.
00:26:04Connecting with his little girls to show him we could be more, too.
00:26:08Neither of those worked.
00:26:10He nods, his expression turning happy.
00:26:13Duh, of course it didn't work.
00:26:16I narrow my gaze.
00:26:18Then why do you look so happy?
00:26:20Grinning, he drums his fingers on the table.
00:26:23Because I know exactly what you need to do.
00:26:26My eyebrows push together.
00:26:28Well, are you going to fill me in or what?
00:26:31Michael pats the back of my hand.
00:26:33Oh, I'm going to do more than fill you in.
00:26:35I'm going to make sure you have that man eating out of the palm of your hand.
00:26:39I laugh for the first time all day.
00:26:41It feels damn good.
00:26:43Then I listen raptly, as Michael describes the best strategy, nodding at his sheer genius.
00:26:50I only hope he's right,
00:26:51because I don't know how much longer I can take this back and forth with Dominic.
00:26:57Jet lag is a major drag.
00:26:59I never really understood that until last night.
00:27:02I tossed and turned for hours before slipping into a fitful sleep.
00:27:06After coming to the decision that I have to put my career first,
00:27:09I decide I can't let these little setbacks affect me.
00:27:12I rouse myself out of bed, power down two cups of scalding hot coffee,
00:27:17and make my way to work like it's my job.
00:27:20It is your job, Presley.
00:27:22Wow, I must be tired.
00:27:25The click-click of my heels on the office floor is a familiar sound.
00:27:29Yes, this is what I need.
00:27:31A consistent and predictable work environment in which I can be the best version of myself.
00:27:36Not an undefined relationship with a man whose mood changes so dramatically
00:27:40that I wonder if he's really two people.
00:27:42The first, a charming, funny, considerate man.
00:27:46The other, a loathsome asshole with no consideration for the feelings of others.
00:27:50No, I don't have time to juggle my work and a man who can't decide who he is.
00:27:55I'm still figuring out who I am.
00:27:57My determined stride across the office falters as I spot Jordan,
00:28:01packing his personal items away into a box.
00:28:04Why?
00:28:06Jordan!
00:28:07Oh, hey, Prez, he says in his usual chipper way.
00:28:10But his dimpled smile doesn't reach his big blue eyes.
00:28:14What's going on?
00:28:15The internship is over.
00:28:17The others already packed up.
00:28:19I guess no one got the job.
00:28:21I feel as though I've been dropped into the cold, dark ocean.
00:28:25Like the plane I disembarked just yesterday hadn't landed safely at all,
00:28:29but rather had crashed right into the tumultuous sea.
00:28:32You'd better get packing, too.
00:28:34Jordan hands me an empty box,
00:28:36then turns back to his almost empty desk,
00:28:39once covered in his alma mater's insignia,
00:28:41pictures of his dog,
00:28:42and an assortment of bobblehead dolls.
00:28:45It's reassuring to have Bill Gates and Elon Musk nodding at me in approval all day,
00:28:49he said to me in our first week.
00:28:52Tears prick my eyes.
00:28:54Jordan?
00:28:55Oh, Prez, don't worry.
00:28:57We're going to be fine.
00:28:58You're practically a genius, so you'll get a paying job in no time.
00:29:02And who can resist this face?
00:29:04He smiles with his eyes this time.
00:29:06Showing off his full, brilliant grin.
00:29:09I wish I could return the enthusiasm,
00:29:11but all I can manage is a sad half-smile and a reluctant nod.
00:29:16On my way back to my desk,
00:29:17the click-click of my heels sounds less like a battle cry,
00:29:20and more like the cheap knockoff shoes that I bought in college.
00:29:24They've been glued back together so many times.
00:29:27If the heel snapped off one of them today,
00:29:29I wouldn't even be surprised.
00:29:31A fitting end.
00:29:33Back at my desk,
00:29:34I start collecting my own things.
00:29:36I don't have much.
00:29:38A brown insignia pin,
00:29:39a picture of Michael,
00:29:41a stained coffee mug,
00:29:42some miscellaneous business books,
00:29:44and a preserved sticky note my mother wrote for me back in middle school.
00:29:48I love my smart girl,
00:29:49it reads in a splash of blue marker.
00:29:52She tucked it away in my lunchbox the day of a dreaded geometry test
00:29:55that I'd been studying for all week.
00:29:58I caress the worn paper,
00:30:00and for a moment consider throwing it in the trash.
00:30:03Smarts can only get me so far, Mom.
00:30:06But if I'm anything,
00:30:07it's sentimental.
00:30:09I can't throw this piece of my mother away.
00:30:12One by one,
00:30:13the pieces of me go into the box,
00:30:15which gets heavier with every memory.
00:30:17Just like my heart.
00:30:19Oh, you're here already?
00:30:22I squeeze my eyes closed.
00:30:24I'd recognize that voice underwater if I had to.
00:30:28Dominic stands behind me,
00:30:29probably leaning against the empty desk kitty corner to mine
00:30:32that once belonged to Jenny.
00:30:34I refuse to turn around.
00:30:36He doesn't deserve my attention,
00:30:38the bitter little girl in me insists.
00:30:41Even as angry as I am,
00:30:42I know how immature that is.
00:30:45I am, I say over my shoulder.
00:30:48I see you're already moving out.
00:30:50I am.
00:30:51Good.
00:30:53I want to scream in his face,
00:30:54but I restrain myself.
00:30:56For as much of a stress nightmare this internship was at times,
00:31:00I wouldn't have changed the experience I gained for the world.
00:31:03I learned more here than I did in four years in college.
00:31:06I'm grateful for that.
00:31:08Thank you for...
00:31:09I murmur,
00:31:10but Dominic is already walking away.
00:31:13I take a deep breath and turn around quickly,
00:31:15not letting my gaze linger on the broadness of his shoulders,
00:31:18and head straight for the elevator.
00:31:21I maneuver the box against my hips so I can press the down button.
00:31:24The elevator dings and Oliver steps out.
00:31:28Whoa, where are you going?
00:31:30I'm going home.
00:31:31Thank you so much for helping me acclimate-
00:31:33Wait, Presley.
00:31:35Why are you going home?
00:31:36Are you sick?
00:31:38I don't understand.
00:31:39Is this some sort of trick?
00:31:41I'm so gullible.
00:31:42I can never tell.
00:31:44I was let go, I say carefully.
00:31:47All the interns were let go.
00:31:49Not you, he says with a smile.
00:31:52You've been selected.
00:31:54Selected?
00:31:55Didn't Dom tell you?
00:31:57No, I practically shout.
00:31:59Reign it in, Presley.
00:32:01Dominic doesn't tell me anything.
00:32:04That doesn't really change over time.
00:32:06Oliver sighs, smirking.
00:32:08But you'll have plenty of opportunities to get to know him better
00:32:11as our new Director of Operations.
00:32:13My heart skips a beat.
00:32:15He can't be serious.
00:32:17Director-
00:32:18You've been promoted.
00:32:20Congratulations.
00:32:21Oliver turns and points down the hall to a small office.
00:32:24The door is ajar.
00:32:26If I squint, I can read
00:32:28Director of Operations in bold print on the placard.
00:32:32That's your shiny new office.
00:32:34I'm speechless.
00:32:36I must really be wearing a funny expression
00:32:38because Oliver can't keep it together.
00:32:41He laughs like I've told him the best joke he's heard all year.
00:32:45Go put your stuff down.
00:32:46And then go see Dom.
00:32:48He'll tell you about his decision.
00:32:49And your salary, he says, poking me playfully in the arm.
00:32:54I practically run to the little office.
00:32:56It is gorgeous.
00:32:58Small, but somehow feeling expansive
00:33:00with its tall window overlooking the cityscape.
00:33:03I slide my box of all things Presley
00:33:05onto the glass surface of the desk-
00:33:07my desk-
00:33:08and wander around the room.
00:33:10It's so pristine.
00:33:12So cozy.
00:33:13I can imagine early mornings
00:33:16sipping coffee at this desk while scrolling through emails.
00:33:19Bright afternoons leaning against this window,
00:33:21making calls to clients.
00:33:23Late nights curled up on the love seat,
00:33:25jotting down important things to do the next day in my planner.
00:33:29Joy threatens to overwhelm me,
00:33:31but I have something to deal with first.
00:33:34I stride purposefully across the office,
00:33:36ignoring the heads turning to watch me march toward my boss's office.
00:33:40When I open the door without knocking,
00:33:42he's staring out his own window,
00:33:44his hand on the glass.
00:33:45He turns, surprised.
00:33:48The light catches his eyelashes
00:33:49and casts dark shadows across his cheekbones.
00:33:52I'm almost dazzled by his beauty.
00:33:55Almost.
00:33:57I thought I was being let go, I say.
00:34:00It isn't a question, but I need answers.
00:34:02His eyes squint,
00:34:04an almost comical expression of confusion on his face.
00:34:07I would laugh, but I'm too-
00:34:09pissed?
00:34:10surprised?
00:34:11in shock?
00:34:12Jordan was packing, I say, quieter now.
00:34:16The interns were let go.
00:34:18You're not an intern anymore.
00:34:21I flush as Dominic takes slow steps toward me.
00:34:24But you saw me packing up my desk.
00:34:27I thought you were moving into your new office.
00:34:29Do you like it?
00:34:31Yes, I say in a small voice.
00:34:33But no one told me.
00:34:35I'm sorry.
00:34:37I thought Oliver caught you when you walked in.
00:34:39I shouldn't have assumed, he says in a voice so tender.
00:34:43I almost look over my shoulder to see if his daughters are here.
00:34:46It's okay.
00:34:48I just didn't know what was going to happen to me.
00:34:50You should have known, he says with a teasing smile.
00:34:54Your work as an intern excelled above all the others.
00:34:57You're diligent, adaptable, bright.
00:35:00With every compliment, he takes a step closer to me.
00:35:04Leaning way too close, he reaches over my shoulder and pushes the door closed.
00:35:09As soon as it clicks shut, his hand settles on my waist and his lips brush against mine.
00:35:14The kiss is so warm, so precious.
00:35:17I feel cherished and irreplaceable with every caress of his thumb against my cheek,
00:35:22even if I know that's not the case.
00:35:24When he releases me, I'm breathless.
00:35:27How will this work? I ask, looking into his dark eyes for reassurance.
00:35:32Won't the others find it unprofessional?
00:35:34I don't think they'll take me seriously if—
00:35:37I stop myself as Michael's words of advice ring through my head.
00:35:40I can't fall for his charms.
00:35:42I can't keep sleeping with him.
00:35:44I need to be firm.
00:35:46It's the only way.
00:35:47Too bad it's nearly impossible because this man turns me into a pile of goo with one smoldering
00:35:52look.
00:35:53Let me worry about that, Dominic murmurs, his lips still inches from mine and his palm on my hip.
00:36:00I don't realize I'm shaking until I put my hands on his chest,
00:36:03not pushing him away, but not letting him come any closer either.
00:36:07Don't you want to know what your salary is?
00:36:09I pull back to look him in the eyes.
00:36:12Well, duh.
00:36:14He chuckles, and my body shakes with his.
00:36:17I join in, until we're both laughing a little too loudly.
00:36:20He kisses me once more on the lips before taking my hand and spinning me around like we're dancing.
00:36:26Suddenly, I'm back at the door.
00:36:28Go talk to HR.
00:36:30They're waiting for you.
00:36:32Thank you, Dominic, I whisper.
00:36:34I know he can feel my gratitude by the way he smiles and shoos me away.
00:36:38This man can't handle too much emotion at once.
00:36:42When I get to the human resources office and sit with my co-workers Daniel and Brianne—
00:36:47oh my god, co-workers!
00:36:49The reality of the situation finally sinks in.
00:36:52I'm about to take over an entire department of Seattle's Aspen Hotels,
00:36:57including a team of two assistants to do my bidding at a salary that makes me choke on my coffee.
00:37:03Seriously?
00:37:04I ask, still coughing.
00:37:06Daniel and Brianne laugh and confirm the number.
00:37:09I can see their mouths moving,
00:37:11but I can barely hear them over the pounding of my heart.
00:37:14They can't be paying me that much.
00:37:17Congratulations, Presley.
00:37:18Daniel says, clapping his hands together.
00:37:21Brianne joins in the applause, and I wipe a pesky tear from my cheek.
00:37:26I can hardly process the rest of what they tell me—
00:37:29something about a medical plan, stock options, paid vacation time, and a retirement account.
00:37:35Taking one more deep breath, I nod to everything they say,
00:37:39knowing I'll have to dig into the details later when I can think clearly.
00:37:43Thank you again, I say, rising to my feet, and they both smile at me.
00:37:47Out in the hall, I dial my brother's number with shaking fingers.
00:37:51I get his voicemail.
00:37:53He's most likely at class.
00:37:55It doesn't matter.
00:37:56I can barely speak anyway.
00:37:58In a low voice, I leave him a quick and jumbled message to share the good news,
00:38:02punctuated with an, I love you, at the end.
00:38:05Once I'm back in my office, I shut my door and call Bianca.
00:38:09She answers immediately.
00:38:11Hey, babe, what's up?
00:38:12You okay?
00:38:13Oh my god, Bianca.
00:38:15Oh my god, what?
00:38:16Oh my god, what?
00:38:17I got the job!
00:38:19Bianca screams so loudly, I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
00:38:23Yes, you did, bitch!
00:38:25Yes, you did!
00:38:28Bianca is so excited, my heart finally explodes.
00:38:31I jump up and down and squeal as quietly as I can.
00:38:35I'm still at the office, after all.
00:38:37It's insane!
00:38:38Oh my god, I can't believe it!
00:38:41You better believe it!
00:38:42How much are they paying you?
00:38:44Uh, I laugh, almost drunkenly.
00:38:47A lot!
00:38:49Yes!
00:38:50I guess that means you're buying tonight.
00:38:52We're going out!
00:38:53When we hang up, I allow myself one more excited giggle before I put my game face back on.
00:38:59I've got to get through several more hours before the celebrating begins.
00:39:03How I'm going to stay focused is beyond me, but I'm excited to get to work.
00:39:07I haven't been this happy in a long time, maybe ever.
00:39:12And there's so much more to come.
00:39:13Chapter 14
00:39:20I'm working late, trying to get through the last of today's urgent decisions
00:39:24so I can start with fresh business in the morning when my phone buzzes.
00:39:29Yes, Francine, I know I shouldn't live at the office,
00:39:32I mutter as I grab my phone and look down at the screen.
00:39:35But to my surprise, it's a text from Presley.
00:39:38And even more surprising, it reads,
00:39:40Hey, sexy.
00:39:44Followed by a smattering of eggplant and fire emojis.
00:39:47What the hell?
00:39:49I do a double take to confirm that the sender really is her.
00:39:52Maybe someone took her phone as a prank?
00:39:55Then I remember that she got her promotion today and text back,
00:39:59I take it you're having a night out to celebrate?
00:40:02The response is immediate.
00:40:04I'm so drink, haha.
00:40:07I snort.
00:40:09My lips twitching.
00:40:11I've seen her tipsy before, but drunk is new.
00:40:14Getting to glimpse this new, uninhibited side of a woman
00:40:16who's normally always so disciplined is charming.
00:40:21I can tell.
00:40:22I'm glad you're having a good time.
00:40:24You've earned it.
00:40:26Thank you so much.
00:40:28I love you.
00:40:30My heart skips a beat.
00:40:32She doesn't really mean that.
00:40:34It's just the kind of thing people say when they're drunk.
00:40:37Come celebrate with me.
00:40:39You should enjoy partying without your boss hanging around.
00:40:43But you're why I'm here.
00:40:45I was losing my shit and this promotion saved my whole entire life.
00:40:48I really owe you.
00:40:50No, you don't.
00:40:51You got the job because you were the best worker.
00:40:53It was all you.
00:40:55What if I wanna owe you?
00:40:57Winky face.
00:40:59I'm not sure how to answer that.
00:41:02And in the 30 seconds I spend deliberating,
00:41:04she adds something that makes me forget whatever I'd been planning to say.
00:41:09I could let you do whatever you want with my body.
00:41:13Holy shit.
00:41:14What I'd like to say is,
00:41:15I'm on my way, but instead I type,
00:41:18I'll ask you if you still want that when you're sober.
00:41:22She replies,
00:41:24Boo, sad face.
00:41:26At least dance with me.
00:41:29I consider it Francine is home with the girls
00:41:32and I probably already missed my chance to kiss them goodnight anyway.
00:41:36I'm too burned out to make any more headway on work tonight.
00:41:39Why the hell not?
00:41:41It would give me a chance to check up on Presley
00:41:43and make sure she has a safe way to get home.
00:41:45Plus a drink might relax me a bit.
00:41:48Sure.
00:41:49Sounds like fun.
00:41:50Where should I meet you?
00:41:5310 minutes later, I'm taking a ticket from the valet
00:41:56at the address she texted me.
00:41:58It's just around the corner from our office.
00:42:00And I can't help but notice it's the same bar
00:42:02where I first asked her to play my pretend girlfriend.
00:42:06So much has changed since then.
00:42:08It's strange to think about.
00:42:10In barely any time at all,
00:42:11we've gone from acting out an illusion to being real lovers.
00:42:15Or I guess I should say fuck buddies
00:42:17since neither of us can afford to fall in love.
00:42:19But applying that word to Presley makes me frown.
00:42:22It implies something crass and shallow.
00:42:25And she means more to me than that.
00:42:28As I enter, I barely have a chance to scan the place for Presley
00:42:31before she's flung herself out of her seat and into my arms.
00:42:35You came.
00:42:36She's still wearing her workout fit and smells slightly of alcohol.
00:42:41I return her hug and reply with a fond smile.
00:42:45I said I would, didn't I?
00:42:47The woman who is sitting next to Presley walks around their table to me.
00:42:51You must be the big boss man, she says,
00:42:55extending a violet-nailed hand.
00:42:58I'm Bianca, Presley's roommate.
00:43:00I shake her hand.
00:43:02It's nice to meet you.
00:43:03I'm Dominic.
00:43:04She grins, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
00:43:08I've been dying to meet the famous Mr. Aspen.
00:43:12Presley has told me so much about you.
00:43:16Her impish, knowing tone has me wondering
00:43:18exactly what Presley might have told her.
00:43:22I look instead at the table cluttered with empty glasses.
00:43:25You guys really didn't waste any time.
00:43:27It's only eight o'clock.
00:43:29We met up right after work.
00:43:30Pres wanted to make sure she could leave early
00:43:33enough to get up on time tomorrow.
00:43:36Bianca shrugs with an expression of fond amusement.
00:43:39At least that was what she said about three or four cocktails ago.
00:43:43Now she wants to live here.
00:43:46I chuckle, my gaze wandering back to Presley.
00:43:49Come dance, Presley insists, tugging at my arm.
00:43:54I let her drag me out onto the floor as a thumping beat starts playing.
00:43:58She loops her arms around my neck.
00:44:00I rest my hands on her hips and that's where
00:44:02anything recognizable as dancing ends.
00:44:05Her wild side steps, shimmies and sashays
00:44:08don't remotely match the rhythm of the song.
00:44:10Every time she lifts a foot, I can feel her wobble
00:44:13and my hands on her hips steady her.
00:44:16I guess it's reasonable that drunk Presley
00:44:18isn't the world's greatest dancer.
00:44:20Not that I mind at all.
00:44:22She more than makes up for her lack of coordination with exuberance
00:44:26and it makes me smile just to have her close.
00:44:29I chuckle and do my best to sway along with her erratic moves.
00:44:33Then I gasp because she's pushed her hips forward,
00:44:36writhing against my body.
00:44:39Before I can say anything, she spins around
00:44:41and enthusiastically grinds her ass onto my burgeoning erection.
00:44:46I bite back a groan of need.
00:44:49Damn, when she wants something, no force on earth can stop her.
00:44:53Someone whistles at us.
00:44:55It might be Bianca, but I have no idea
00:44:58because Presley is totally intent on making my head spin with want.
00:45:02Giving in, I let myself caress her curves
00:45:05and nip at the tender skin at the back of her neck,
00:45:07feeling her pulse flutter under my lips.
00:45:10Behave, I say on a groan.
00:45:14She pouts.
00:45:16Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll behave.
00:45:19Then she moves my hand over her breast and squeezes hard.
00:45:23I growl into her ear, soft so no one else can hear,
00:45:26but forceful enough that she makes a throaty, desperate noise.
00:45:30When the song ends, she turns to me,
00:45:32her eyes smoldering with erotic promise.
00:45:35And then she trips.
00:45:37I catch her before she kisses the floor instead of me.
00:45:41Okay, I think it's time to go.
00:45:43I grunt out, then call to Bianca.
00:45:46Can I drive Presley home?
00:45:48Fine with me.
00:45:49I was planning to leave with my guy.
00:45:52Bianca looks over toward a guy seated in the booth nursing a beer,
00:45:56then pats Presley on her flushed cheek.
00:45:59Just make sure to text me when you get home, okay, babe?
00:46:03Presley flashes her an unsteady thumbs up.
00:46:05I give my ticket to the valet and wait with her at the front doors until it arrives,
00:46:10then escort her outside and into the passenger seat.
00:46:13She drapes herself over me as soon as I've slid into the driver's seat and shut the door.
00:46:18Sorry, I guess I had too much.
00:46:21She mumbles into my ear.
00:46:23Don't worry about it.
00:46:24You're highly entertaining and educational.
00:46:28For instance, I've learned tonight that copious amounts of alcohol
00:46:31make Presley extremely silly and touchy-feely.
00:46:34The surprises never end.
00:46:37She pouts.
00:46:39Are you laughing at me?
00:46:41You're tough enough to take it.
00:46:43I peck her on the cheek.
00:46:46She shakes her head, now smiling at me.
00:46:49The drive to Presley's apartment takes less than 20 minutes.
00:46:52Then I'm helping her up the front steps and inside.
00:46:55I head to the kitchen and retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge for her.
00:46:59Here, drink this.
00:47:00You need to sober up.
00:47:03She smirks at me, accepting the water bottle.
00:47:06Yes, dad.
00:47:08I can't help but chuckle.
00:47:10I am a dad.
00:47:12Presley laughs harder.
00:47:14You sure are.
00:47:16And an extremely hot dad.
00:47:18You're like a dilf.
00:47:20Shaking my head, I laugh with her.
00:47:23She finishes her water and meets my eyes.
00:47:26Thank you for everything.
00:47:28I'm assuming she means the promotion.
00:47:31But as I told her before, she earned it.
00:47:34And for coming to my rescue tonight?
00:47:37She adds with a nod.
00:47:39You're very welcome.
00:47:40Should we get you to bed?
00:47:41Where's your room?
00:47:43She nods toward the couch.
00:47:45We're in it.
00:47:48The tan sofa is ancient-looking and sags in the middle.
00:47:51A thin cotton blanket is draped over the back of it,
00:47:54and a pillow is shoved into one corner.
00:47:57I frown.
00:47:59You sleep on a couch?
00:48:01Presley waves her hand.
00:48:03Yes, and don't look so scandalized, Mr. CEO.
00:48:07Keep in mind that until today, I was working full-time in an unpaid position.
00:48:13I guess that's true.
00:48:15The fact that our internships are unpaid has never bothered me before now,
00:48:19mostly because I've never considered what that means
00:48:22or the sacrifices people would have to make.
00:48:24One of those sacrifices, at least in Presley's case,
00:48:28being a bed or any real privacy.
00:48:32She heads into the bathroom and I hear her brushing her teeth.
00:48:35Deciding to make myself useful, I make up her bed for her,
00:48:38draping the white sheet I find folded on the coffee table across the sofa
00:48:42and lay out her blanket and pillow.
00:48:45If there's one domestic thing I'm good at, it's tucking someone into bed.
00:48:50Presley emerges with her shirt unbuttoned down the front
00:48:53and her hair wild around her shoulders.
00:48:56I watch as she strips off her work clothes
00:48:58and then help her tug an oversized t-shirt over her head.
00:49:01She's still a little unsteady and I don't know why,
00:49:03but I find her drunken state oddly adorable.
00:49:08I place my hands on her hips and help her across the room.
00:49:11I can't have sex with you tonight, she says,
00:49:14giving me an exaggerated wink once we reach the couch.
00:49:18Okay.
00:49:20I'm somewhat taken aback since I didn't plan on sleeping with her
00:49:23while she was in this state,
00:49:24but still, I'm surprised she just blurted that out.
00:49:28I have no idea if she's about to tell me she's on her period
00:49:31or maybe she's too drunk for sex,
00:49:33which I would agree with, but instead Presley nods.
00:49:37Sex confuses things between us, doesn't it, Dom?
00:49:42I don't answer.
00:49:43Instead, I let her lean on me as she adjusts the blankets to her liking
00:49:46while I turn that question over in my head.
00:49:50Barefoot and dressed in a t-shirt that nearly reaches her knees,
00:49:53she looks smaller and even more innocent somehow.
00:49:58You won't buy the cow if you're already getting the milk for free,
00:50:02she says quietly.
00:50:05What in the world?
00:50:07Okay, I say, clapping my hands together once.
00:50:12On that precious note, I'd say it's time for bed.
00:50:15With my help, Presley sinks down into the soft cushions.
00:50:20You okay?
00:50:21I ask, studying her in the dim light.
00:50:24She lets out a huge yawn, nodding.
00:50:28Just tired.
00:50:30I should have asked if she's eaten, but I guess now's not the time.
00:50:34The best thing for her will be just to sleep this off.
00:50:38And besides, I really do need to get home.
00:50:41As I sit on the edge beside her,
00:50:43she sighs drowsily.
00:50:45You're so good to me.
00:50:47Am I though?
00:50:49The small guilty tightness in the pit of my stomach points to no.
00:50:53Taking care of you is the least I can do.
00:50:56I reply, not knowing if I'm even doing that much.
00:51:00Maybe I'm good to her, treating her right the best I know how,
00:51:04but I'm definitely not good for her.
00:51:07Yet I keep finding myself getting more and more entangled.
00:51:11You're good.
00:51:13She insists again.
00:51:14The words so quiet and slurred with impending sleep that I can barely decipher them.
00:51:20I'm glad you think so.
00:51:23I stroke her cheek and she lets out a sleepy,
00:51:26noise.
00:51:27After pressing a gentle, chased kiss to her forehead,
00:51:31I pull back and see that her eyes are already closed.
00:51:35Stroking her hair one last time, I murmur.
00:51:39Don't fall in love with me, okay?
00:51:41She doesn't reply.
00:51:43I'm not sure if she's falling asleep or just not answering me.
00:51:46Then again, I don't really know whether I was talking to her in the first place,
00:51:51or maybe to myself.
00:51:55I tug the blanket up over her and rise to my feet,
00:51:58while so many unanswered questions dance through my head.
00:52:05Chapter 15
00:52:06The next day, Oliver and I drive out to check on the progress of several new properties
00:52:10scattered across Washington State.
00:52:13By Friday noon, we've made our way to Spokane and stopped for lunch at a pub
00:52:17the locals swear has the state's best pizza.
00:52:20After debating, we agreed that wasn't quite true, but they were pretty damn close.
00:52:26We could have planned something more efficient than a multi-day road trip, I suppose.
00:52:30But I don't often get to hang out with my best friends someplace that's not the office,
00:52:34or my daughter's tea parties.
00:52:36And if I'm being totally honest, I also wanted a chance to clear my head
00:52:39and figure shit out about Presley,
00:52:41which is hard to do when I see her all day every day at work.
00:52:46What do you think of the town?
00:52:47I ask, draining the last of my wheat ale.
00:52:51If this place has one thing going for it, it's the incredible beer.
00:52:56Oliver shrugs cheerfully.
00:52:58Seems pretty nice.
00:52:59It's no Seattle, but then again, I'm biased.
00:53:02With the airport and all the basketball tourism,
00:53:04I think our new location will get more than enough traffic to remain profitable,
00:53:08even with the first hotel already there,
00:53:10especially since the cheap real estate keeps our expenses low.
00:53:14I see someone read the projections report.
00:53:18He scoffs, pretending to be offended.
00:53:21I'll have you know I always read everything I'm supposed to.
00:53:24Then his smile slips a bit.
00:53:26Listen, can I ask you something?
00:53:29Listen, can I ask you something?
00:53:33Oliver almost never sounds this serious.
00:53:36It instantly makes me suspicious.
00:53:39That depends on what it is.
00:53:41I need you to be completely honest with me here, dude.
00:53:44Christ, just spit it out.
00:53:47He presses his lips into a flat line, breathing out through his nose, then asks,
00:53:53Are you doing anything with Presley that you shouldn't be?
00:53:56I hope he can't see my shoulders tense.
00:53:59You've already asked me that.
00:54:01I know, he says mildly.
00:54:04It's not illegal to ask the same question twice.
00:54:07Well, the answer is no.
00:54:08I lie.
00:54:10Are you sure that's the story you're sticking with?
00:54:13I know you want her.
00:54:15What is it with you and this topic?
00:54:17I snap.
00:54:18Why are you so obsessed with the idea of me fucking her?
00:54:20How many times are you going to grill me about it?
00:54:22He sets his pint glass down a little too hard and a few drops of beer slosh out.
00:54:27Damn it, Dom, don't lie to me.
00:54:29I'm your best friend.
00:54:30Some would say your only friend.
00:54:31Hey, I grunt.
00:54:34Andrew, Vice President, so I need to know whether anything is happening that might fuck up things
00:54:38between our CEO and our new Director of Operations.
00:54:41Oliver and the rest of my executive staff knew Presley was the right intern for the
00:54:45position, so I don't think he believes I offered her the job simply because I'm tangled up
00:54:50with her.
00:54:50I wasn't even the one who recommended her for the spot initially.
00:54:54The others had seen her work, and there was really no question.
00:54:57The rest of the interns did fine, but fine doesn't win you a mid-level position with
00:55:02a hefty salary and loads of responsibility.
00:55:05Presley was the only candidate who ranked high enough to meet our stringent criteria.
00:55:10But he remains quiet, waiting me out, and in his stare is a stern warning.
00:55:16She's a good girl, Dom.
00:55:18The kind of girl who will want a house in the suburbs with a dog and a lawn and a white
00:55:22picket fence someday.
00:55:23You couldn't give her that fairytale ending, even if you wanted to.
00:55:27His words cut unexpectedly deep.
00:55:31What, I'm not good enough to be Prince Charming?
00:55:34Shit, I should have kept denying it.
00:55:35Getting offended only proves his hunch.
00:55:38Don't get your panties in a nut.
00:55:40I'm just being realistic here.
00:55:42You and she don't want the same things in life, or at least not when it comes to relationships.
00:55:47His mouth quirks.
00:55:49You're two of a kind when it comes to cutting a swath at work, though.
00:55:53A heavy sigh escapes me.
00:55:55I know.
00:55:56I'm utter.
00:55:58Believe me, I'm all too aware that I'm wrong for her, and it's not fair to let her wait
00:56:02a single second longer on something that's never going to happen.
00:56:07Too bad knowing that fact still doesn't help me stay away from her.
00:56:10When it comes to her, I'm utterly helpless.
00:56:13The more time I spend with her, the more my doubts and fears creep in, but the harder
00:56:17it is to pull away.
00:56:19Why can't I find the willpower to get my shit together?
00:56:21So will you promise that you won't hurt her?
00:56:24Oliver asks.
00:56:26I wet my lips.
00:56:28I...
00:56:30I have no idea how I'm going to finish that sentence, and I'm grateful to be interrupted
00:56:33by my phone ringing.
00:56:34I'm much less grateful when I see it's Francine.
00:56:38She knows Amelia and Lacey's daily routine and all their likes and dislikes.
00:56:42Probably better than I do, I hate to admit.
00:56:44So it's rare for her to have a question.
00:56:47Usually she can handle the unexpected.
00:56:49Usually she can handle the unexpected without breaking a sweat.
00:56:53What's up, Fran?
00:56:54Dominic.
00:56:56Her voice is frantic and weak.
00:57:00My blood pressure spikes at the sound of toddlers crying in the background.
00:57:04Lacey threw up her morning snack.
00:57:06I didn't call you because I figured it was just the tummy bug that's been going around.
00:57:10It'll pass in 24 hours with no harm done, and you know me, I'm not afraid of a little
00:57:13mess.
00:57:14So I cleaned up and put Lacey to bed with some Pedialyte and tried to calm down Amelia.
00:57:19Then suddenly I felt awful and now I can't.
00:57:23It's okay, Francine, I can come home.
00:57:24I'll be there as soon as I can.
00:57:27Which won't be very soon at all, seeing as Seattle is almost 300 goddamn miles away.
00:57:33What's wrong?
00:57:34Oliver asks, his brow creased.
00:57:37I cover the receiver to quickly mutter,
00:57:40everyone in the entire world got the stomach flu.
00:57:43So sorry to call you back home, Francine is saying, when you're out of town like this.
00:57:49It's okay, Francine, it's no trouble at all, but it'll take me a few hours.
00:57:54I hang up and yank on my jacket.
00:57:57Of course this has to happen when I'm on the other side of the fucking state.
00:58:01Guess I should be thankful the virus waited until I got back from London.
00:58:05Sorry to take the car and ditch you here, I tell Oliver.
00:58:08I'd fly, but by the time any seats become available...
00:58:12Oliver waves me off amiably.
00:58:15No worries, man.
00:58:16I'll do the site visit and rent a car to come back tomorrow morning like we planned.
00:58:21Thanks, I owe you a beer.
00:58:23No, a bottle of whiskey.
00:58:26I throw two twenties on the table for my half of lunch and then I'm out of there.
00:58:31I speed back down the highway as fast as I dare.
00:58:34All I can think of is Francine being sick, struggling to take care of two hysterical
00:58:38toddlers, one of whom is puking and the other probably not far behind, for five whole hours,
00:58:44maybe even six if I hit traffic.
00:58:47Normally, if he weren't also in the wrong city, I could ask Oliver to cover for me in
00:58:52this kind of situation, but there is one other person who's good with my kids, who's in town
00:58:57and could relieve Francine right away.
00:59:00I hesitate, then chastise myself and call Presley's desk phone.
00:59:03As soon as she picks up, I frown.
00:59:06I'd kind of hoped she wouldn't answer so I wouldn't have to put her in this position.
00:59:10Hey, it's Dominic.
00:59:12Hi.
00:59:13She says cautiously, like she's unsure why I'm calling.
00:59:17She knew I was going to be out of town for a few days.
00:59:21Can you do me a huge favor?
00:59:23I'm sorry to even ask this, but I didn't know who else to turn to.
00:59:27Lacey is sick and Francine got sick too and I won't make it back until evening.
00:59:31Would you be willing to watch the kids so she can go home and get some rest?
00:59:35Presley sounds exhausted, but she doesn't even hesitate.
00:59:38God bless her.
00:59:40Absolutely.
00:59:40I'll leave right away.
00:59:41I let out a long breath, weighted with all my stress.
00:59:45Thank you so much.
00:59:46You're a lifesaver.
00:59:47I'll make sure you get overtime pay for the rest of your workday.
00:59:50Don't worry about that.
00:59:51It's a family emergency.
00:59:52Of course I wouldn't leave you or the girls hung out to dry.
00:59:56Still, I really appreciate you going out of your way.
01:00:00You're welcome.
01:00:00Anytime.
01:00:02She says, and I can picture her smile perfectly.
01:00:06Have a safe drive.
01:00:07I'll see you at your place tonight.
01:00:09Thank you for doing this.
01:00:11I say, navigating my car along the on-ramp to the highway.
01:00:16It's really not a problem.
01:00:18Don't worry.
01:00:18Okay?
01:00:19Okay.
01:00:21Bye.
01:00:23I hang up, feeling five parts relief to one part disquiet.
01:00:28This is the kind of boundary blurring that made things complicated between us in the first place.
01:00:33Even so, I can't let my weird, confusing relationship with Presley stop me from doing
01:00:37what my family needs.
01:00:39If she had said no, that would be one thing.
01:00:41But since she's in a position to help, I'll just deal with the awkwardness later.
01:00:50Chapter 16
01:00:52After being let into the building by the security guard, I knock on Dominic's front door,
01:00:57armed with a bag of tried-and-true holistic medicine.
01:01:00Electrolyte drinks, ginger ale, and saltine crackers.
01:01:04My mother always took such good care of us when we were sick.
01:01:07So I made sure to pick up the necessary ingredients for a settled stomach at the store
01:01:12before I arrived at Dominic's building.
01:01:15When I was standing in the grocery store aisle, comparing prices,
01:01:18I remembered I don't have to worry as much about the cost anymore.
01:01:22I can afford to buy the organic stuff, something I've never done before.
01:01:26If I were buying for myself, I would have probably gone generic as usual.
01:01:30But for Dominic's girls, I got the best stuff I could find.
01:01:34Francine answers the door when I arrive.
01:01:37She is pale as a sheet and gives me a wan smile.
01:01:40Hello, dear.
01:01:42Hi. I'm here to take over, I say with a sympathetic nod.
01:01:46I hoped as much.
01:01:48Sighing, she looks positively exhausted as she opens the door and leads me down the hall.
01:01:53I'm not feeling well myself.
01:01:56I should get home and rest before I make matters worse here.
01:01:59Dominic won't be happy to find both his girls and an old lady green in the face
01:02:03when he comes home.
01:02:04He just wants to make sure everyone is okay, including you.
01:02:08Otherwise, he wouldn't have called me.
01:02:10Fran gives me a look that says I'm not so sure about that.
01:02:14I mean, why else would he have called me?
01:02:17I know where his apartment is, and he trusts me with his daughters.
01:02:20After thinking it through, I swallow.
01:02:23I guess that is kind of a big deal.
01:02:26She smiles warmly at me before she picks up a large canvas bag
01:02:29and an umbrella and heads for the door.
01:02:32They're resting in their room.
01:02:34There are sick buckets in the tub, just rinsed.
01:02:37Be careful not to touch anything you don't have to.
01:02:39Don't want you getting sick too, dear.
01:02:42Thank you, Fran.
01:02:43Please get some rest.
01:02:45When the door closes behind her, I set down my bag and slip off my shoes.
01:02:49I tiptoe to the girls' room and peek my head inside.
01:02:52I don't want to wake them if they're asleep.
01:02:54Presley!
01:02:56Lacy cries.
01:02:57I guess they aren't sleeping.
01:03:00The pale little girl tries to sit up in bed,
01:03:02but she's too weak and falls back into her pillow with a whimper.
01:03:06Emilia is almost unconscious, probably asleep until her sisters outburst.
01:03:11Her lips move, but her eyes remain closed.
01:03:14When I get closer, I can hear her saying,
01:03:16Daddy, daddy, and my heart aches.
01:03:20I didn't know Emilia was sick too.
01:03:22This really is a ruthlessly contagious bug.
01:03:25I wonder if I should call Dominic and tell him.
01:03:28But he's driving and I shouldn't distress him any more than he is.
01:03:32I've only ever seen him frantic when it came to his daughter's well-being.
01:03:35I decide that he can find out when he arrives later tonight.
01:03:39Hi, monkeys, I say softly, approaching their beds.
01:03:43I know I'm not supposed to touch them, but they need a little comfort.
01:03:47I brush the sweaty curls from their faces and hold their hands.
01:03:51Where is daddy?
01:03:52Emilia asks, her eyes heavy with sleep.
01:03:56He's on his way.
01:03:57I'm going to take care of you two for a little while before he gets here, okay?
01:04:01I know I'm a poor substitute for their father,
01:04:04but I hope I can at least provide them some comfort.
01:04:07Okay, Lacy whispers.
01:04:10Can we play?
01:04:11I chuckle.
01:04:12When you're both feeling better, we can play all you want.
01:04:15But until then, we've got to rest, okay?
01:04:18But I'm thirsty, Lacy whines, squeezing my hand.
01:04:22You can have just a little bit of water, not too much.
01:04:26For the next hour, I alternate between the girls,
01:04:29relying on the memory of my own mother taking care of Michael and me.
01:04:33I give them each a few sips of water, even though Lacy is eager to guzzle more.
01:04:38I want to make sure they can keep this down before I give them too much.
01:04:42Inevitably, when they start to feel sick again,
01:04:44I race to the bathroom to get the sick buckets.
01:04:47I barely get back in time for Emilia to lose the little bit of water that was in her stomach.
01:04:52She's so scared of throwing up that she shakes after every bout.
01:04:57I use a washcloth to wipe her mouth and then kiss her on the forehead,
01:05:00promising that it will all be over soon.
01:05:03Then, when it's Lacy's turn to get sick, I try to help her through it,
01:05:07but she's a little more resilient than Emilia.
01:05:10It honestly amazes me how chatty she still is.
01:05:13When her head isn't in a bucket, she's asking me questions.
01:05:17Are you and Daddy married?
01:05:19No, we're not married.
01:05:21We're just good friends.
01:05:22Well, that's a very G-rated way of putting it.
01:05:25I'm not about to tell his kids that I have no idea how to define my relationship with Dominic.
01:05:30How come?
01:05:32Because...
01:05:34Luckily, Emilia throws up again before I have to come up with an answer.
01:05:38I brush her hair out of her face and help her blow her nose.
01:05:41I want Daddy!
01:05:43She cries, breaking down.
01:05:46I know Dominic is still far away, at least three more hours by car.
01:05:50Knowing him, he's probably speeding here as fast as he can.
01:05:53Traffic laws be damned.
01:05:56Let's wait for Daddy, okay?
01:05:58I gently lift Emilia from the bathroom floor and carry her across the hall.
01:06:03She's so light.
01:06:04Even lighter with nothing in her stomach.
01:06:06I lay her down on her bed and then check on her sister.
01:06:10With a fresh washcloth, I wipe the sweat from their faces and pull the covers up to their chins.
01:06:16It really is alarming how contagious stomach flu can be.
01:06:20Ever since I first touched the girls, I've felt off.
01:06:22My own stomach churns at the thought of eating anything, even though I'm starving.
01:06:27Oh, shit.
01:06:31Presley.
01:06:32When I wake up, I'm curled up on the floor at the foot of Lacy's bed with my head resting on a stuffed teddy bear.
01:06:38I must have fallen asleep after the girls did.
01:06:41The room spins, so I screw my eyes shut again.
01:06:45Dominic stands over me and places a hand on my forehead.
01:06:48You're burning up.
01:06:50The girls, I mumble.
01:06:52They're fast asleep, he says, looking over at their beds.
01:06:56I sit up to see for myself, regretting it immediately.
01:07:00A rush of vomit rises, and when a bucket suddenly appears in my face, I let loose.
01:07:06God, I haven't thrown up since the first time I drank in college.
01:07:10I'd forgotten how awful the sensation is.
01:07:13Like being punched in the gut and drowned at the same time.
01:07:16I'm so sorry, I mumble, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
01:07:21Dom disappears and comes back in seconds with a wet cloth and a glass of cold water.
01:07:26He wipes my mouth, just like I did for his daughters.
01:07:30His eyes are filled with turmoil, and his expression is stark.
01:07:34I stare at him, soaking up every second of this tender moment.
01:07:38Here, take a sip, he says.
01:07:41I take the glass from his hands and sip.
01:07:43The water slides down my throat with the promise to come right back up later.
01:07:48Yep, not doing that again.
01:07:50After taking the glass out of my hands,
01:07:52he carefully lifts me from the floor and carries me toward his bedroom.
01:07:56I shake my head.
01:07:58Just let me stay with them.
01:08:00I already have it.
01:08:01I don't want to infect your room, too.
01:08:03He doesn't say anything, doesn't even pause in his strides.
01:08:07He just keeps carrying me down the hall until we reach the master bedroom.
01:08:11He sets me down on the edge of his massive bed.
01:08:14You'll stay in here.
01:08:16But what about the guest room?
01:08:17I ask.
01:08:18You'll stay in here, he says again, more firmly this time.
01:08:23I nod, feeling dizzy.
01:08:25Dominic pauses, appraising me as I slump over the edge of the bed.
01:08:30Do you want to change into something more comfortable?
01:08:33When he glances at the jeans I'd quickly changed into before coming,
01:08:36I nod, realizing he's right.
01:08:38Let me find something that might fit, he says,
01:08:41already heading toward his massive walk-in closet.
01:08:45After returning with a pair of cashmere sweatpants and a white cotton t-shirt,
01:08:49Dominic helps me remove my clothes,
01:08:51which is a good thing because my limbs feel so heavy
01:08:54that I doubt I could maneuver out of them on my own,
01:08:56and slides the soft cotton over my skin.
01:09:00He turns his back while I unhook my bra and fish it out through the sleeve of the shirt.
01:09:04Then he gathers my clothes and takes them back to the closet.
01:09:09When he comes back to me, he holds a glass of water to my lips again.
01:09:13A little more.
01:09:15I groan, but I know he's right.
01:09:17I have to stay hydrated.
01:09:19I can't act like a toddler when he has two actual toddlers sleeping in the other room.
01:09:24I drink some more, but the room flip-flops, and I sink back into the bed with a groan.
01:09:29He sits down next to me, careful to put a little distance between us.
01:09:34I'm grateful for it.
01:09:35If he gets any closer, I'll probably cling to him,
01:09:38and then there won't be anyone left to take care of the sick people.
01:09:42It's okay, he says, reading my expression.
01:09:45I juiced up with some vitamin C packs on the way here.
01:09:48Yeah, I ask weakly.
01:09:51Yeah, I'm going to be fine.
01:09:53I'm invincible, he grins.
01:09:56I feel like laughing, but I know the effort would likely make me vomit again.
01:10:00I've already done that once in front of the most attractive man I've ever met.
01:10:04I could do without a second round.
01:10:07Surprising me, he lies down next to me.
01:10:10Thank you for being here, he says softly in my ear.
01:10:13I can't bear to turn and look at him for fear of losing
01:10:16any more of my goddamn breakfast in his beautiful face.
01:10:19Some help I've been, I groan.
01:10:22I should have listened to Fran and not touched the girls.
01:10:25But the looks on their faces when I first arrived...
01:10:28They were so scared and tired.
01:10:30I had to show them that they would be taken care of.
01:10:33They're fast asleep, and their fevers have broken.
01:10:36You've been more than helpful, he murmurs.
01:10:39I can feel his gaze glued to my face.
01:10:42I'm flushed and damp with sweat, but not in the sexy fuck-me kind of way.
01:10:47I don't feel self-conscious, though.
01:10:48I feel safe.
01:10:50I should thank you for being here, I mutter, my eyes sinking closed.
01:10:56You're welcome.
01:10:57Was that a kiss I felt on my temple?
01:10:59Dumb.
01:11:00You can't tell me not to fall in love with you and then be like...
01:11:03this.
01:11:04You can't expect me not to feel anything for the man who has given me the world,
01:11:08from a ridiculous salary when I'm at my best,
01:11:10to tiny sips of water when I'm at my worst.
01:11:14You can't expect that.
01:11:15Because I'm already in love...
01:11:17with a man who isn't capable of returning my feelings.
01:11:24Chapter 17
01:11:26I'm woken up by two tiny, adorable heathens climbing on me and demanding pancakes.
01:11:34Part of me wants to be annoyed, wants to roll over and keep sleeping.
01:11:38Or maybe chastise them for waking me up by climbing on me.
01:11:42Instead, there's a smile on my lips, even before my eyes open.
01:11:46Presley isn't far behind them, her hair wet from the shower,
01:11:50looking so much better than she did yesterday.
01:11:52When I ask how she feels, she admits she's starving too.
01:11:56Surprised, but grateful to see them all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again,
01:12:00I cook up a full breakfast, pour orange juice and brew coffee.
01:12:04My three former patients wolf down their breakfast like they haven't eaten in days.
01:12:09I enjoy mine at a much more leisurely pace, but I'm sympathetic.
01:12:14A diet of broth, crackers and bananas is hardly satisfying.
01:12:18I'm thankful it's Saturday and I don't have to rush off to the office
01:12:20once they're finally feeling better.
01:12:23Now they're watching TV while I rinse our cups and syrup-smeared plates
01:12:26and load them into the dishwasher.
01:12:29Shutting its door, I ask Presley,
01:12:31One more coffee while I'm up?
01:12:33There's at least a cup left in the pot.
01:12:36Yes, please, she says emphatically.
01:12:39I've missed it.
01:12:41After one single caffeine-free day?
01:12:44I'm pretty sure based on those parameters alone, that makes you an addict.
01:12:48I tease, bringing the pot to her proffered mug.
01:12:52Hey, it's no fun dealing with a wicked withdrawal headache on top of the flu.
01:12:57She takes a long sip with a happy sigh.
01:13:00Ah, my hero.
01:13:02Thank you.
01:13:04I'm not sure what's changed between us, but it's obvious something has.
01:13:08When I saw her sick and sleeping on the floor at the foot of Lacey's bed,
01:13:12something inside me shifted.
01:13:13And I can feel it now, too.
01:13:15We're more comfortable together, more in sync than we have been.
01:13:19What started as a chemical thing, a lustful attraction,
01:13:23has given way to more, despite all my best efforts.
01:13:28I'm bored, Lacey says with a pout.
01:13:32Outside?
01:13:33Amelia asks excitedly.
01:13:36I don't blame them for being restless after a day stuck in bed.
01:13:40Sure, let's go out and do something fun.
01:13:43How's the park sound?
01:13:45It's not exactly an adventure,
01:13:47but I'm reluctant to go too far in case they aren't totally recovered.
01:13:51When the girls cheer, Presley laughs.
01:13:54Looks like it's unanimous.
01:13:57We pack a picnic lunch and get everyone dressed.
01:14:00How about we take some stuff to feed the ducks, too?
01:14:03I suggest.
01:14:05As expected, I'm met with enthusiastic shouts,
01:14:08so I grab the rest of the loaf we used to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
01:14:12No, bread is bad for ducks,
01:14:14Presley says.
01:14:16I read somewhere that it's like junk food,
01:14:18it doesn't have the right nutrients,
01:14:19and it makes the water dirty.
01:14:22I blink.
01:14:23Really?
01:14:24I had no idea.
01:14:25What foods are good?
01:14:28Um, let me check.
01:14:30She taps at her phone for a minute before saying,
01:14:33Whole grains, veggies, stuff like that.
01:14:35Always doing research, even on your days off.
01:14:38I say, amused.
01:14:41She shrugs with a self-deprecating chuckle.
01:14:44What can I say?
01:14:45Ducks are important.
01:14:48Amelia nods forcefully, and Lacy says,
01:14:51Don't hurt ducks.
01:14:52You're all absolutely right.
01:14:54We should never hurt animals,
01:14:56and that includes giving them bad food.
01:14:59I tell them both before turning back to Presley.
01:15:02I wasn't making fun of you.
01:15:04Well, maybe I was, but that habit is also one of the things I lo-
01:15:08I swallow the forbidden L-word just in time.
01:15:12One of your many impressive qualities.
01:15:15The hell was that?
01:15:17I sound like I'm giving an employee performance review.
01:15:21Trying to get back to the sweet spot between dangerously intimate and bizarrely stiff,
01:15:25I say,
01:15:26You seem to know at least a little bit about everything,
01:15:29and you always put in the effort to double-check and be totally sure of the facts.
01:15:34Oh.
01:15:35Thank you.
01:15:37She gazes up at me,
01:15:38and her confused look makes something inside my chest ache.
01:15:42Way to be an asshole, Dom, when she's here helping you.
01:15:46I take a deep breath and try to clear my head.
01:15:49Having her so close, here in my home,
01:15:52helping with my daughters, is seriously messing with me.
01:15:55Although the last thing I want to do is send her away.
01:15:59After some rummaging through the fridge and pantry,
01:16:02we assemble a mixed bag of oats, corn, peas, and lettuce.
01:16:05Then we head out on a short walk to the park,
01:16:08Presley holding Lacey's hand and me holding Amelia's.
01:16:12At the park, we spread our blanket at the top of Grassy Hill and set out our picnic.
01:16:16My antsy girls want to run off right away to feed the ducks, but I say,
01:16:21Eat your lunch first, then you can go play.
01:16:24They inhale their PB&J sandwiches as fast as they can
01:16:27before scampering downhill toward the pond.
01:16:31They sure have a lot of energy.
01:16:33If I didn't know better, I'd have no idea they were lying in bed barfing all day yesterday.
01:16:38I blow out a relieved sigh.
01:16:41I'm glad you all recovered so fast.
01:16:43Guess I should have believed Francine when she said it would only last 24 hours.
01:16:48It's still not fair that you never caught it at all, Presley says.
01:16:53My deepest apologies.
01:16:54Next time, I promise I'll get sick as a dog and you can spend a whole weekend
01:16:58bringing me tea and soup and cleaning up my vomit.
01:17:01I'm gonna hold you to that.
01:17:03She playfully grabs my bicep and gives it a squeeze,
01:17:06then looks self-conscious.
01:17:08Sorry, I didn't think we shouldn't be doing stuff like that in public.
01:17:13It's alright.
01:17:15I can't bring myself to get too worked up about it.
01:17:18Warmed by the sun, listening to the trees rustle in the breeze and my daughter's giggles.
01:17:24I'm too relaxed to really be bothered by anything.
01:17:27I reach out to squeeze Presley just to prove how okay it is.
01:17:31She lets her head rest on my shoulder, so I leave my arm draped around her.
01:17:35Together, we watch my girls play.
01:17:38Lacey chucks as much food as her little hands can hold into the pond,
01:17:42drawing an army of gabbling waterfowl.
01:17:45Amelia takes a different approach,
01:17:47trying to tempt the ducks closer by holding out a small amount or dropping it at her feet.
01:17:52Whenever one approaches, she squeals in delight, startling it away, but it always returns.
01:17:59When the sun begins to sink, I call to the girls.
01:18:02Time to go home.
01:18:04Awww, they whine.
01:18:07The ducks will still be here tomorrow.
01:18:09Besides, aren't you getting hungry?
01:18:12They look at each other, then reluctantly nod and walk over.
01:18:16Back at the apartment, I put on cartoons to keep the little ones out from underfoot while we cook
01:18:20dinner.
01:18:21I check the pantry.
01:18:22We don't have a ton of options, since I've been too busy nurse-mating three people to shop.
01:18:27Presley, peeking over my shoulder, asks me,
01:18:30What are we going to make?
01:18:32I'm not a super-experienced cook.
01:18:34Neither am I.
01:18:35They can be picky sometimes, but for the most part, they're good eaters.
01:18:39I'm still rooting around in the cabinets.
01:18:43When Dad was working late, I used to make cheesy rice for me and Michael.
01:18:47That sounds promising.
01:18:49How do you make it?
01:18:51It's mostly self-explanatory.
01:18:53Boil a bunch of rice, dump in cheese and salted butter and whatever random veggies we had on hand,
01:18:57and stir it up.
01:18:59She checks the freezer.
01:19:00Corn and broccoli will work great, and we can set some rice aside for rice pudding.
01:19:06I make an uncertain noise.
01:19:09They're not the biggest fans of broccoli.
01:19:11Covering it in cheese might change their opinion.
01:19:15I shrug.
01:19:16Fair enough.
01:19:17Let's do it.
01:19:19I've never cooked as a team before, but it turns out to be surprisingly effortless.
01:19:24I babysit the two saucepans of rice while Presley microwaves the vegetables and preps
01:19:28the other ingredients so I can add them at the right times.
01:19:31We're a well-oiled machine, humming along at peak efficiency,
01:19:35moving around the kitchen without even bumping into each other.
01:19:39In less than half an hour, we're finished.
01:19:42Still working in perfect tandem, we put the full plates on the table,
01:19:45help the girls into their booster seats, and clean up drips and messy faces
01:19:49between taking bites of our own dinners.
01:19:51When dessert has disappeared and I start to see droopy eyelids, I say,
01:19:56uh-oh, somebody looks sleepy.
01:19:59I am not.
01:20:01Lacey tries to insist before an enormous yawn cuts her off.
01:20:05Amelia gives us her most potent puppy dog look.
01:20:09One more TV, please.
01:20:13I get up to clear the dishes.
01:20:15Sorry, I don't make the rules.
01:20:17Yes, you do.
01:20:18I don't make the rules.
01:20:20Yes, you do.
01:20:22Both girls chorus.
01:20:24Oh no, they've become too smart.
01:20:26We're doomed.
01:20:28I throw up my hands with a mock look of terror.
01:20:31Presley giggles.
01:20:33What's their usual bedtime routine?
01:20:35I was too wiped out to keep track of what you were doing while I was sick.
01:20:39I take off items on my fingers.
01:20:42Bath, change into jammies, braid their hair, tuck them in, read them a story.
01:20:46I haven't braided anyone's hair since middle school, Presley says with a small smile.
01:20:52Okay, girls, you know the drill.
01:20:54I clap my hands.
01:20:56Let's get cleaned up.
01:20:58We corral them toward the bathroom with only a minimal amount of grumbling.
01:21:02Presley fetches washcloths and fills the tub with warm water while I undress the girls
01:21:07and we share the task of brushing out their hair.
01:21:10Naturally, as soon as they get their hands on the bath toys, all complaints cease.
01:21:14Lacy is so intent on her wind-up swimming penguin that she barely notices anything I'm doing,
01:21:19even wiping her face.
01:21:21Presley watches Amelia while she scribbles all over the tub's walls with bath crayons.
01:21:27In no time at all, we're at the last phase.
01:21:30Close face, I say.
01:21:33The two of them giggle and scrunch their faces as tight as possible.
01:21:36I quickly shampoo and rinse Lacy's hair.
01:21:39After a moment of confusion, Presley does the same with Amelia.
01:21:42I check the clock.
01:21:44Divide and conquer indeed.
01:21:46With the two of us working together,
01:21:48a task that normally takes half an hour is done in under ten minutes.
01:21:52In their bedroom, we wrestle them into pajamas,
01:21:55careful to get their favorite colors right.
01:21:57Green for Amelia, pink for Lacy.
01:21:59Presley sits on the bed with Amelia between her knees,
01:22:02but when I sit behind Lacy, she frowns.
01:22:05I want Presley braids.
01:22:08Hey, you're hurting Daddy's feelings.
01:22:11Presley chides gently.
01:22:13Sorry.
01:22:15Lacy mutters.
01:22:16Not very convincingly.
01:22:19I chuckle.
01:22:20It's okay.
01:22:21I do both girls' hair nearly every night.
01:22:24I can go clean up the bathroom instead.
01:22:27When I return from mopping up spilled water,
01:22:30setting out the toys to dry,
01:22:31and wiping crayon off porcelain,
01:22:34the sight of Presley stops me in my tracks.
01:22:37She's working on the last few inches of Lacy's braid
01:22:40with nimble fingers and a tender smile.
01:22:42Humming under her breath.
01:22:44The scene is so cozy and serene.
01:22:47She looks like home.
01:22:51My chest aches,
01:22:52and my feet are stuck in their spot on the carpeting.
01:22:56Presley glances up and smiles at me.
01:22:58I'm almost done.
01:23:00Take your time, I managed to say,
01:23:02my voice tight with some unnamed emotion.
01:23:07Maybe I'm only remembering what it felt like
01:23:09to have my own mother fuss over me.
01:23:11After the sun had gone down and I'd been scrubbed clean,
01:23:14lying on freshly laundered sheets
01:23:15while she combed her fingers through my hair,
01:23:18and sang under her breath.
01:23:19God, it was a lifetime ago.
01:23:22I'm a bit melancholy right now,
01:23:24thinking that the memories I have of being cared for by a mom
01:23:27won't be memories that my own daughters will ever have.
01:23:30And that makes me incredibly sad.
01:23:34I squat in front of the girls' bookshelf,
01:23:36pondering,
01:23:37and take a deep breath.
01:23:38What kind of story do you guys want tonight?
01:23:41Make one up, Amelia says.
01:23:44With space aliens, Lacey adds.
01:23:48And princesses and magic.
01:23:50And ducks.
01:23:52Hmm, I rub my chin.
01:23:55That's a lot of stuff.
01:23:57I'll need some time to figure out how to put them together.
01:24:01I come back to sit on the bed beside Presley and think.
01:24:04In a couple of minutes, she's finished their braids.
01:24:08Once we tuck the girls in, I begin.
01:24:11Once upon a time,
01:24:12Princess Honey had a pet duck named Sparkle.
01:24:16Uh, Bob.
01:24:18One day, Sparkle Bob said,
01:24:20No, together, Lacey says, interrupting.
01:24:24It takes a moment to figure out what she means.
01:24:26Then I'm wondering how we're supposed to share a story
01:24:29and also make it up.
01:24:31I glance at Presley, smirking.
01:24:35Her brow is furrowed.
01:24:37After a few moments, Presley says,
01:24:39Sparkle Bob said,
01:24:41Let's go to outer space.
01:24:43I've always wanted to see the stars up close.
01:24:46Honey agreed this was a great idea.
01:24:47So she traded her crown with a witch for a flying spell.
01:24:51Ducks fly, Amelia points out.
01:24:54But then Honey would be left behind and he'd be lonely.
01:24:58And he'd get too tired if he tried to fly that far without magic.
01:25:02I pick up the thread of the story before anyone can poke more holes in it.
01:25:06They flew out into space all the way to Neptune
01:25:09and met the aliens that lived there.
01:25:11The aliens said,
01:25:13Great timing.
01:25:14We were just planning a party, but we...
01:25:17What kind?
01:25:18Lacey asks.
01:25:19Presley rescues me.
01:25:22Jellyfish.
01:25:23They're giant purple jellyfish that float through the clouds
01:25:26like it's the ocean.
01:25:28She puts on a silly, squeaky falsetto.
01:25:30You need talk like this.
01:25:32Doing my best to imitate her pretend voice, I continue.
01:25:36But we don't have any good party snacks.
01:25:38Can you get us some cupcakes?
01:25:41Honey and SparkleBob agreed to help.
01:25:43They flew back to Earth to make a thousand cupcakes,
01:25:46then returned to Neptune.
01:25:48They invited the witch too,
01:25:49since they couldn't have done it without her, Presley adds.
01:25:53Right, of course.
01:25:54And they all had the best party ever.
01:25:56Many cupcakes were eaten.
01:25:58The end.
01:25:59Lacey and Amelia's eyes have drifted closed,
01:26:01and they're wearing contented smiles.
01:26:03When we're sure they're asleep,
01:26:05Presley and I tiptoe out into the hall,
01:26:07turning off the bedroom light behind us
01:26:08and silently shutting the door.
01:26:11You're amazing.
01:26:12I tell her in a hushed tone.
01:26:14Our face is close.
01:26:16So are you.
01:26:17But, um, what is CloseFace?
01:26:21Huh?
01:26:21Oh, that.
01:26:23I chuckle.
01:26:24A while ago, I accidentally said,
01:26:26I chuckle.
01:26:27A while ago, I accidentally said,
01:26:31and they thought it was hysterical.
01:26:32So I've been saying it at bath time ever since.
01:26:35She stifles a giggle.
01:26:37Oh, that's so cute.
01:26:39I grin at her.
01:26:41Seriously, though, you're a natural with the girls.
01:26:43They're crazy about you.
01:26:45Presley turns her head slightly,
01:26:47as if to hide the soft look in her eyes.
01:26:50I'm glad.
01:26:51They're so much fun.
01:26:53Then, almost shyly, she steps closer to me.
01:26:58We make a good team.
01:27:00How true that is.
01:27:02It feels so natural to take care of the household together.
01:27:05And watching her with the girls,
01:27:07it's like there's been a Presley-shaped hole
01:27:09in our family all along,
01:27:10and I just never knew until she stepped into it.
01:27:13Francine is great,
01:27:14but maybe the girls have been needing a woman in their life
01:27:17who's more like a mother than a nanny.
01:27:19And right now, I can't deny that I'm in need, too.
01:27:23Come here, I murmur, my voice husky.
01:27:28Taking her face in my hands,
01:27:30I lean in for a thorough, smoldering kiss,
01:27:32rubbing my thumbs over her beautiful, high cheekbones.
01:27:36With a moaning sigh, she presses close,
01:27:38wrapping her arms around my lower back.
01:27:41I indulge in our kiss for another minute
01:27:43before leading her down the hall to my room.
01:27:46We draw together, all mouths and hands,
01:27:49and desire, our clothes scattering over the floor.
01:27:53I sit back against the headboard,
01:27:55pulling her atop me to straddle my lap.
01:27:58This is only the third time I've had Presley in my bed.
01:28:01Once right before she hurt me, once after.
01:28:05But tonight is different,
01:28:07and any pain or doubt I felt before is gone.
01:28:11Are you okay with this?
01:28:12I ask, wrapping her in my arms.
01:28:15I recall Presley's drunk declaration
01:28:17that she couldn't have sex with me
01:28:18because it only confused things between us.
01:28:21At the time, I kind of agreed,
01:28:22but now I feel anything but confused.
01:28:27I want this, she says, circling her hips as she teases me.
01:28:32I grab a condom and roll it on
01:28:34as our mouths stay fused together in a hot kiss.
01:28:38As soon as I'm ready, she sinks down onto me
01:28:40and we moan together.
01:28:42The feel of skin against hot, sensitive skin is overwhelming,
01:28:45and I hold her close while she finds her rhythm.
01:28:49She rides me, slow yet so intense.
01:28:52I kiss her mouth and breasts,
01:28:54suck her nipples, nip her delicate earlobes,
01:28:57earning a beautiful gasp with each touch.
01:29:00I bury my face in the curve of her neck
01:29:02to leave gentle bites
01:29:04and feel her pulse racing under my lips and tongue.
01:29:07Presley's warmth and softness and sweet scent envelop me
01:29:11until nothing else exists,
01:29:13until she's my whole world.
01:29:15Deep within me, I know we're not fucking,
01:29:18but making love.
01:29:20I know we've gone far beyond anything
01:29:21I ever expected to exist between us.
01:29:24I know it means I'm weak and foolish
01:29:26and completely out of line.
01:29:29I just can't bring myself to care.
01:29:35Chapter 18
01:29:38I could kiss Dominic's neck all night.
01:29:41My tongue trails across the thick line of muscle,
01:29:44finding the vein that quivers when I nip on it.
01:29:47And from the sounds he's making,
01:29:49I think he'd let me kiss his neck all week.
01:29:52As we rock against each other with our limbs entwined,
01:29:55our lovemaking has elevated from awkward and ungraceful
01:29:58to positively divine.
01:30:01Lovemaking.
01:30:02That's what this feels like.
01:30:04His eyes are searing deep into mine,
01:30:06no longer a power play or a challenge
01:30:08to see who will look away first.
01:30:10Now our gaze feels like balance.
01:30:13It's like he's finally seeing something in me,
01:30:16something that he wants in his life.
01:30:18Is that even possible?
01:30:20My heart surges with the idea.
01:30:22He groans again and kisses me hard on the mouth,
01:30:25and my mind goes blank.
01:30:27Now, experienced lovers,
01:30:29we coax each other over the edge of pleasure.
01:30:31There are no more games or teasing.
01:30:34We help each other get there with the assurance
01:30:36that there will be time later for games.
01:30:38I shudder when I come,
01:30:40feeling my inner walls wrap and pull against him
01:30:42buried deep within me.
01:30:44I bite my lip,
01:30:45trying to hold back the scream
01:30:47that's perched on my tongue.
01:30:49It starts to escape as the orgasm intensifies.
01:30:55He covers my mouth with his,
01:30:57and I moan loudly into his kiss, trembling.
01:31:00His cock twitches inside me,
01:31:02making me quiver and arch my back.
01:31:05The clenching of my body
01:31:06is enough for him to lose control.
01:31:08I've grown greedy for the look on his face
01:31:10when he falls apart.
01:31:12His dark blue eyes sink closed,
01:31:14his brow furrows,
01:31:15and his full lips part.
01:31:17Fuck, he says on a breath.
01:31:20The exhale after his orgasm
01:31:22is always shaky and hot against my neck.
01:31:25He lifts his head to meet my eyes
01:31:26and licks his lips.
01:31:28I smile down at him.
01:31:29He smiles back.
01:31:31What?
01:31:32I'm just looking at you, I say,
01:31:35pushing his sweaty hair off of his forehead.
01:31:38Hmm, he hums,
01:31:39tucking my hair behind my ears.
01:31:42And for how long are you going to look at me?
01:31:44For as long as you'll let me.
01:31:47I grin, then attack him with quick kisses,
01:31:50one on his nose,
01:31:51and one on each of his cheeks,
01:31:52his forehead, and his chin.
01:31:55He laughs as I turn his head this way and that
01:31:57to get the right angle.
01:31:59Suddenly, he takes control,
01:32:01pulling us back onto the cool sheets.
01:32:03His arms are tight around me,
01:32:05his legs rubbing against mine.
01:32:07This time, we're most definitely cuddling.
01:32:10I whine when he moves away.
01:32:12I'll be back, he says with a laugh.
01:32:15I just need to clean up.
01:32:17He gestures to his dick,
01:32:18still sheathed in a condom and my slickness,
01:32:21and I blush.
01:32:23I never knew sex was so messy.
01:32:25Seeing my shyness,
01:32:26he leans in with a growl
01:32:28and bites me softly on the neck
01:32:29until I dissolve into laughter.
01:32:31When he comes back from the bathroom,
01:32:33he wraps me in his arms
01:32:34like he'd never left at all.
01:32:37I would forsake all the pillows in the world
01:32:39if I could sleep on Dominic's chest every night.
01:32:42Would it really be every night, though?
01:32:45I'm too overcome with sleep to doubt myself further.
01:32:48With the scent of him all around me
01:32:50and the feel of his strong arms holding me close,
01:32:52I drift off.
01:32:56Thump, thump, thump, thump.
01:32:58I wake with a start.
01:32:59Thump, thump, thump, thump.
01:33:01What is that, I ask,
01:33:03my eyes wide with panic.
01:33:05Dominic is already out of bed,
01:33:07throwing on a shirt and pair of sweats.
01:33:10Someone is knocking on my front door.
01:33:12Stay here.
01:33:13Dread sinks into my skin like a cold rain.
01:33:16Who could be here at this hour?
01:33:18It's not even five o'clock in the morning.
01:33:21Fran would know better than to knock so loudly
01:33:23and wake the girls.
01:33:24I peek my head into the hall
01:33:26and hear murmuring voices.
01:33:28What's going on?
01:33:30I throw on one of Dominic's shirts,
01:33:32doing up the buttons as fast as my fingers will let me.
01:33:35I tiptoe into the hallway,
01:33:37past the girls' room,
01:33:38closing their door on the way,
01:33:40amazed that they must have slept through the pounding.
01:33:43Thank God.
01:33:44When I get to the end of the hall
01:33:45and peek around the corner,
01:33:47I'm relieved to see Oliver.
01:33:49What's happening?
01:33:50Dominic says in a stern voice.
01:33:53Whatever this is, it seems serious.
01:33:56I should respect his privacy,
01:33:58but I need to know.
01:33:59I lean against the wall just out of sight,
01:34:01listening.
01:34:03You weren't answering your phone.
01:34:05I thought you'd want to know right away.
01:34:07Know what?
01:34:08It's a media circus,
01:34:10Oliver says in a concerned tone
01:34:12I've never heard him use before.
01:34:14Usually his voice is playful,
01:34:16or at least cheerful.
01:34:18You have to turn on the news.
01:34:20I hear the shuffling of feet
01:34:22and a soft click as Dom turns on the television.
01:34:25I peek my head around the corner,
01:34:27momentarily blinded by the brightness of the TV
01:34:29and the darkness of the room.
01:34:31Which channel?
01:34:32he asks.
01:34:33All of them.
01:34:35Oliver says solemnly.
01:34:37Dominic turns back to the screen.
01:34:39I squint to read the words
01:34:41and my heart falls right out of my chest.
01:34:44The headline panning underneath the anchor's
01:34:46austere expression reads
01:34:48Breaking News
01:34:49CEO Pays for Sex
01:34:51Escort Reveals All
01:34:53Oh my god.
01:34:55Presley, Oliver says.
01:34:57I'm standing in clear view now,
01:34:59my eyes glued to the television.
01:35:02I don't even know when my feet carried me into the room,
01:35:04but Oliver spotted me.
01:35:07Why are you-
01:35:08But I can't hear him.
01:35:10The anchors casually toss grenades
01:35:12back and forth with their words,
01:35:14phrases like
01:35:15outed by an anonymous source
01:35:16and public shame
01:35:18and reputation on the line.
01:35:20I can barely make sense of it.
01:35:22Dominic's face is angled away from me
01:35:24and I look at him imploringly,
01:35:26unable to read him.
01:35:28I just want to know what terrible thoughts
01:35:30are running through his head right now.
01:35:32His body is pulled tight like a string,
01:35:34like he's about to snap.
01:35:36Oliver sighs,
01:35:37pulling me out of my tunnel vision.
01:35:39When we make eye contact,
01:35:41he lets loose a strangled sort of laugh.
01:35:44Well, this is awkward.
01:35:47Are you guys together?
01:35:49Dominic says no.
01:35:50At the same moment I say yes.
01:35:53My face flushes hot with emotion.
01:35:55Well, that's humiliating.
01:35:57Oliver takes that as his cue to leave.
01:36:00I'll see you both at work.
01:36:02Before he closes the door behind him,
01:36:04he pauses.
01:36:06Just let me know if I can help you, man.
01:36:08The door clicks shut.
01:36:10I take a shaky breath,
01:36:12processing everything that's just happened.
01:36:14Help Dominic?
01:36:16The idea that Dominic would let anyone help him
01:36:18almost makes me laugh.
01:36:20If he could,
01:36:21Dominic would do everything himself.
01:36:24I don't know how he's going to get out of this shit show
01:36:26without the help of Oliver,
01:36:27his PR team,
01:36:28me.
01:36:30No.
01:36:31The memory of Dominic's hollow answer to Oliver's question about us
01:36:35resounds through me.
01:36:37Staring at the stony wall of his back,
01:36:39I finally comprehend the bitter reality of his feelings for me.
01:36:43As much as he cares for me,
01:36:45for my body,
01:36:46or for my popularity with his daughters,
01:36:48he will never make room for me in his life.
01:36:51He has told me in so many different ways,
01:36:54so many different times over the past couple of months.
01:36:57Every time we had the chance to grow closer
01:36:59or shut the door on our issues,
01:37:00he chose to shut me out.
01:37:02I romanticized our relationship in my head,
01:37:05but the truth is,
01:37:06he neglected or completely ignored me
01:37:08more times than I can count.
01:37:10Latent rage bubbles like lava beneath the surface of my calm,
01:37:14and my eyes flood with angry tears.
01:37:17You tried so hard, Presley.
01:37:19You've done everything you can for him.
01:37:21He's made it clear he doesn't want you.
01:37:24Are you going to go down with him too?
01:37:26Presley, he mutters,
01:37:28his voice hoarse,
01:37:29and I brace myself.
01:37:31I...
01:37:32TV?
01:37:33We both whip around to see Lacey rubbing her eyes sleepily.
01:37:37Over the sound of blood rushing in my ears,
01:37:39I didn't hear her tiny feet approaching.
01:37:42My heart softens.
01:37:44She looks like a little angel in her white pajamas
01:37:46and beautiful bedhead of messy curls.
01:37:49She yawns and scrunches her eyes closed,
01:37:51giving Dominic enough time to shut the TV off.
01:37:54It would be horrible for the girls to see their father like this,
01:37:57even though we both know
01:37:58they could neither read nor understand what's on the screen.
01:38:02No TV.
01:38:03Let's go back to bed, he says firmly.
01:38:06His voice is clear and calm,
01:38:08like he wasn't just about to break my heart into a million ugly pieces.
01:38:12I can imagine exactly what he'd say.
01:38:14I can't have more complications.
01:38:17And he would be right.
01:38:18He has two daughters and an entire company to look out for
01:38:21in the wake of this tabloid drama.
01:38:24He takes Lacey's little hand in his
01:38:26and turns her back toward her room.
01:38:29Amelia had bad dream, she tells him.
01:38:32Booming?
01:38:33Was monster?
01:38:34Oh, so they did hear the door.
01:38:37No monsters out here.
01:38:39We should go check on your sister, hmm?
01:38:42Dom doesn't spare me a second glance
01:38:43as he lifts Lacey into his strong arms,
01:38:46his bare feet padding down the hall.
01:38:49With every second I stand alone in his living room,
01:38:52I feel pieces of myself disappear.
01:38:54I could very well be a ghost,
01:38:56haunting a future I'll never have.
01:38:59I finally understand my place here.
01:39:01It isn't my place at all.
01:39:03I walk down the hall,
01:39:05slipping past the family that will never be mine,
01:39:07and into his room.
01:39:09With shaking hands,
01:39:10I undo each button of the shirt I'm wearing,
01:39:13fold it carefully,
01:39:14and ceremoniously place it on the covers.
01:39:17I mentally say goodbye to the bed where I lost my virginity.
01:39:21When I take my things,
01:39:22there will be no trace of me left here.
01:39:25I yank on the clothes I first dressed in 36 hours ago,
01:39:28grab my bag,
01:39:29and head for the door.
01:39:31As I pass the girls' room,
01:39:33I can hear Dominic's low voice promising them
01:39:35that he'll scare away all the monsters.
01:39:38I don't even check to see if he looks through the doorway
01:39:40to catch me before I leave.
01:39:42I couldn't say no to him if he asked me to stay.
01:39:45Or worse,
01:39:46I couldn't handle it if he said nothing to me at all.
01:39:49So I won't give him the chance.
01:39:55Chapter 19
01:39:58From the window next to this cafe table,
01:40:00the sky looks heavy with unfallen rain.
01:40:03I pick at the torn edge of the menu
01:40:05as I wait for Michael to show up.
01:40:07He texted me that he'll be a few minutes late,
01:40:09so I probably should have taken my time coming here.
01:40:13I could have taken the scenic route
01:40:14from Bianca's apartment by the pond.
01:40:17No.
01:40:18I would just see the ducks and think about the girls.
01:40:21And him.
01:40:22And I desperately don't want to think about him.
01:40:25I don't want to think about how Dominic's eyes light up
01:40:27when he looks at me,
01:40:28or his laugh when his girls do something silly,
01:40:31or the way he squeezes me tight against his chest
01:40:33when we're tangled in his bed.
01:40:35I especially don't want to think about my last memory of him.
01:40:38The cold silhouette of his back against the TV newscast
01:40:41that froze out any chance of our relationship
01:40:44amounting to something.
01:40:46Did you really think that would happen?
01:40:48I scoff loud enough that a barista at the counter
01:40:50turns to look at me with an odd expression.
01:40:53I dip my head down,
01:40:55pretending to clear my throat.
01:40:56So much for making this cafe my usual haunt.
01:40:59I'm pretty sure it's not.