Best Seller Romance Series Book 3 Part 3/6

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Best Seller Romance Audiobook Best Seller Romance Series Book 3 Best Seller Romance Series Book 3 Part 3/6

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00:00:00though I guess you could say I played one on TV. Or more to the point, I played one for my

00:00:05clueless family. It just seemed easier for them to think I was some old barren maiden

00:00:10doomed to a life of loneliness than to explain to them the many, many hang-ups I had with love

00:00:16and marriage. I even got my kitty Cynthia last year to throw them off course and drive home

00:00:22the perception that I was indeed starting down that slippery slope of cat ownership.

00:00:28In reality, I was no goody-goody. I'd been having the occasional romp since freshman

00:00:33year in college. But I'd kept my sex life far removed from my family,

00:00:38because I knew they would not approve of my love-em-and-leave-em lifestyle approach.

00:00:43I came from a traditional lot, who believed in the whole happily ever after,

00:00:48never mind that a good chunk of my life had been spent inside a dark fairy tale.

00:00:52Yes, there were times that I longed to find someone to grow old with. But what was the

00:00:57point? Unless he shared my very jaded view on children, there could be no future.

00:01:04Eventually the guy would tire of waiting for me to get a handle on my insecurities

00:01:08and find a less complicated woman. The guys I slept with were simpletons,

00:01:13caring only about where their next score would come from. They weren't looking for love or marriage,

00:01:19and if God forbid a kid were to pop out nine months after one of our trysts,

00:01:24well, the baby mama wouldn't have to worry about shared custody.

00:01:29Quinn made another pass through the room, but Keith was no longer chasing him. Either Keith

00:01:34had gotten what he wanted, or he was just too out of shape to keep up with Quinn's teenaged exuberance.

00:01:40I caught him as he tried to get around my outstretched legs and pulled him to me,

00:01:45trapping him in my embrace.

00:01:47Are you serious? he squirmed. I'm not five.

00:01:51I don't care, I teased, holding on tight. I missed you. Give me a hug.

00:01:57No, you're being a creeper. How come you never visit me anymore?

00:02:02Because I'm seventeen.

00:02:03That's not an answer, Quinn.

00:02:06Okay, how's this? he said, smirking. I have better things to do than hang out with my sister.

00:02:12Besides, the last time I came over, you made me clean.

00:02:15You loved it and you know it.

00:02:18Yeah, because scraping bird shit off your windowsills is my idea of a good time.

00:02:23You know, there was a time when I was your favorite person.

00:02:27By default, Emma, you were the only one around.

00:02:30He had a point, but there was so much more to our relationship than that.

00:02:35Quinn and I had a special bond, and although he didn't particularly like me throwing it in his

00:02:40face in front of others, I knew full well what he thought of me.

00:02:45Casey and Kenzie, my brother Kyle's girlfriend, popped through the door and showered my mom with

00:02:51hugs and compliments. She ate it up. I suppressed the eye roll that was itching to be released.

00:02:57At least mom had those two to make her dreams of grandbabies a reality. I could see them popping

00:03:03out enough little McAllisters to satisfy my mom's needs without getting my womb involved in the

00:03:08action. You ready? Kenzie asked, plopping down beside me. Quinn saw his opening. Taking advantage

00:03:17of my momentary lapse in concentration, he weaseled out of my arms and charged for the

00:03:22door before I could reclaim him. Did he really think I'd make the effort to chase after him?

00:03:28Emma, mom said, feeling the need to help me socially. Did you hear Kenzie?

00:03:34Purposely ignoring her meddling, I turned to Casey and Kenzie.

00:03:39Ready for what?

00:03:41For us, Casey said, spreading her arms out. We're having a girls' night. Music,

00:03:47drinks, good company.

00:03:50Oh, wouldn't that be fun, my mom pitched in, giving me that fake, cheerful face that said,

00:03:55I know you're a miserable boob, but try not to ruin things for the rest of us.

00:04:00What about Jake and Kyle? I asked.

00:04:03Jake's got prep stuff, and Kyle is pretending to guard him, so it's just the three of us.

00:04:09Great. I might have been able to stomach a girls' night if the boys were at least coming.

00:04:15Then Grace came flouncing into the room. Oh, thank God I was saved. My sister wedged herself

00:04:21into the armchair next to me. I immediately grabbed some of her hair and smoothed it out.

00:04:27Actually, Grace and I were thinking of just staying in and doing our nails and things.

00:04:32And avoiding Finn. And avoiding you two.

00:04:36Grace is hanging out with Jake tonight. He's showing her some behind-the-scenes stuff,

00:04:41Mom said, looking pleased that she was boxing me in further.

00:04:45Grace glanced up at me with guilty eyes. Sorry, I was just coming in to tell you.

00:04:51So you'd rather spend the evening with your boring rock star brother than your kick-ass

00:04:56only sister? Uh, yeah.

00:05:00I didn't blame her. So would I. Great. Now I needed to rack my brain for another excuse.

00:05:08But as I was sifting through the mental list, the expectant faces staring back at me weakened

00:05:13my resolve. Did it mean that much to them that I follow along, or had this been some

00:05:19concocted plot all along? I guess.

00:05:23Awesome. You have five minutes, Casey said, without giving me an option.

00:05:28My mother was smiling conspiratorially with my brother's significant others.

00:05:33Yep. Concocted. I wondered how she'd ask the girls to drag me along.

00:05:38Please take my antisocial daughter out and find her a man. Ugh.

00:05:45One Uber ride, two shows, and three drinks later, I was feeling more relaxed than I had in a long

00:05:51time. I'd totally forgotten about my earlier mistakes and was ready to make fresh new ones.

00:05:57Finn had me all worked up from earlier, and now I was on the prowl.

00:06:02Unfortunately, the gene pool I had to choose from was not terribly deep. Most of the males

00:06:07in the vicinity were stumbling around under the influence of Molly, the party drug of choice at

00:06:12this festival. The others seemed precariously committed to the women they'd pinpointed as

00:06:18easy marks. Beautiful people were plentiful. This music festival was the place to see and be seen,

00:06:25so naturally it brought out a certain caliber and class of people.

00:06:29And by class, I meant the upper. Money was the common thread that ran rampant through the

00:06:35fairgrounds. Sure, there were the hardcore music lovers who'd had to scrape together

00:06:40the exorbitant entry fees, but they appeared to be few and far between.

00:06:45It made me wonder about Finn. He didn't appear privileged, but that didn't mean he wasn't.

00:06:52Still, what was he doing coming to a three-day festival by himself? Was he just here to partake

00:06:58in the spoils of a weekend filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll? God, I hoped not.

00:07:04It was funny that I didn't know a thing about him, yet I already held him to a higher standard.

00:07:08After I'd downed the second drink, I found it so much easier to justify my earlier actions.

00:07:15Sure, Finn was a stranger. But he was also a fellow citizen in need.

00:07:20What kind of person would I be if I'd just left him to dehydrate on the side of the road?

00:07:25The fact that I was affected by his charming smile and his increasingly endearing curly hair

00:07:31had nothing to do with it. No, I was simply fulfilling my civic duty. Nothing more.

00:07:37Uh-huh, right. I could justify my actions all day long, but it didn't erase the fact

00:07:43that I was scanning the crowds in desperate search of his face. Or that during one of the

00:07:48shows I'd actually twirled. Twirled, as in spun around in a carefree display of happiness.

00:07:56I could lie and say it was the alcohol that was behind my sudden Mary Poppins moment,

00:08:01but I had to give credit where it was due. The chance meeting with Finn had changed my mood.

00:08:07I hadn't even realized I'd been in a bad one until that strange, anxious feeling got all

00:08:12caught up in my chest. Elation swept me up, and I morphed into a giddy state. The smile

00:08:19I was carrying was a thing of beauty. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so light.

00:08:25I had to face the facts. As implausible as it seemed, I'd developed a crush on the

00:08:30parking lot mechanic. I'd had them before. Crushes, that is, not mechanics. But that was

00:08:36way back when I was a wide-eyed teenager who still believed in The One. And in that adolescent dream

00:08:42world, my ideal guy had looked and acted nothing like Finn. And yet, that fact only heightened my

00:08:49attraction. Maybe I was itching for something different. Something that made me feel more than

00:08:55just blah. Knowing that at some point Finn and I would cross paths behind the scenes at some

00:09:02concert kept my senses on high alert. I took out my phone for the hundredth time. Why hadn't I just

00:09:09given him my number? It was too much pressure having his at my fingertip. If I called him,

00:09:14it would imply certain things. That I was interested. That I was available. That I was

00:09:21whipped on him. No. That would make me too vulnerable, and I never played the helpless card.

00:09:27Casey, Kenzie, and I were backstage during the performance of a band they'd both raved about.

00:09:32I watched as they danced around wild and free, but even with my newfound joy,

00:09:37I still couldn't forgive bad music. These guys were like Jake on musical steroids.

00:09:43The singer's voice was so high-pitched at times that my eyes actually watered.

00:09:48I could only assume that Casey and Kenzie were either musically illiterate or that they were

00:09:53just too tipsy to care. Tapping my foot to the beat was as much as I was willing to give this

00:09:59untalented bunch. After the concert, the musicians exited the stage,

00:10:04and the lead singer headed in our direction. His piercing stare fell over the three of us,

00:10:09and a predatory grin took over his exhausted face. I recognized him as the lead singer by

00:10:15the spiked black hair and charcoal guy-liner, which was currently smeared down his face.

00:10:21Nothing about him interested me, but I could certainly see how his fans would find him

00:10:26attractive. Ladies, he dipped his head in a sexy way. Did you enjoy the show?

00:10:34A steady stream of sweat poured out from his hairline, and all I could think was,

00:10:39Fin does sweaty so much better.

00:10:42Both Kenzie and Casey chattered and gushed over each other to be the one who offered the most

00:10:47praise, which only served to stroke the rocker's ego. Unimpressed, I checked my phone once more.

00:10:54And what about you?

00:10:56I looked up to see him addressing me with that cocky smile of his.

00:11:01The alcohol made me more honest than I would have liked.

00:11:04It was loud.

00:11:07Loud, he smirked, nodding his head.

00:11:10That's the point.

00:11:13Oh, well, in that case, it was awesome.

00:11:16The expression that transformed his flirtatious grin was one of annoyance and surprise.

00:11:21Seriously? Did no one ever give this guy honest feedback?

00:11:26You're a sass queen, he nodded.

00:11:29Okay, I can appreciate that.

00:11:31His tongue actually flicked in my direction.

00:11:35I suppressed the overwhelming urge to vomit on him.

00:11:38You three want to party? Meet the guys? I promise it will be the time of your lives.

00:11:44Before the other two could go on a pages-long explanation as to why they couldn't party with

00:11:49these particular rock stars, I decided to nip it in the bud right then and there.

00:11:54She's engaged to Jake McAllister, and she's dating his brother.

00:11:58I guarantee you won't measure up.

00:12:01The rocker looked on in shock, his mouth actually gaping open,

00:12:06as I grabbed Casey and Kenzie and steered them away from the horndog.

00:12:10Hey, the sweaty guy called out.

00:12:13Who are you, then?

00:12:15I turned and flashed him what I hoped was my sassiest smile before walking away.

00:12:20You're such a tease, Kenzie whispered, as we hurried out of there.

00:12:25Me? You were the one stroking his dick with all your gushing.

00:12:30We were just being friendly, she argued.

00:12:33How were we to know he was going to turn it dirty?

00:12:36Um, let's see. Because he's a rock star, that's what they do.

00:12:41Jake's not like that, Casey said, in defense of her soon-to-be husband.

00:12:46Not now, but before he met you, Jake was no saint.

00:12:50And Kyle, good God, he was a pimp short of man-whore.

00:12:55Wow, way to lighten the mood, Casey said, grinning.

00:12:58Was there a point to slut-shaming our men?

00:13:01Not really, I admitted, smiling. But it felt good.

00:13:06The three of us laughed together as we made our way back to the VIP area.

00:13:11You do realize that all you did back there was light his flame, right?

00:13:14Kenzie asked.

00:13:16And there are probably dozens of women waiting to blow it out.

00:13:20Emma, a male voice called out.

00:13:23My breath quickened.

00:13:24A revved-up, tingling sensation spread through me in response to those two syllables.

00:13:30Oh, shit. My rusty engine was turning over again.

00:13:34At least Finn could start one thing up.

00:13:37I eagerly sought out the owner of the voice.

00:13:41Kenzie and Casey spun around, too, seemingly surprised that a human male knew my name.

00:13:46Hey, Finn panted, as he came to a halt in front of me.

00:13:51Either he'd sprinted like a track star to be by my side,

00:13:54or he was in particularly bad physical condition.

00:13:57I took in his rather jarring appearance.

00:14:00He was wearing a blinking headband wrapped around his hat,

00:14:03and had multiple glow-in-the-dark necklaces and bracelets rolled up his arms.

00:14:08In his hand was a flashing plastic drink cup with a long, glowing handle.

00:14:13I've been looking everywhere for you. Have you been here a while?

00:14:18Just, um, a couple of hours.

00:14:21Just a couple of hours, he repeated. Apparently you lost my number, then.

00:14:26She was about to call you, Kenzie said.

00:14:30Yes, good thinking, Kenzie. I nodded in agreement.

00:14:34Right, just about to, um, call you.

00:14:37Finn cocked his head and raised a single eyebrow.

00:14:41Casey stepped in.

00:14:43Hi, I'm Casey, and this is Kenzie.

00:14:46Kenzie waved, and for some reason her ridiculous greeting made me giggle.

00:14:51I slapped her on the arm and we both started laughing in earnest.

00:14:54I wasn't usually so playful, but Finn's presence made me giddy in a way I hadn't anticipated.

00:15:01I wasn't paying attention to the words or the niceties the three were exchanging,

00:15:05because I had more pressing issues to deal with.

00:15:08Mainly whether or not Finn had magically grown hotter in the last few hours.

00:15:12Maybe it was just the alcohol heightening my senses,

00:15:16but had his body always been that tall and solid?

00:15:20Wait a minute. When did he grow a dimple in his right cheek?

00:15:24And his eyes, had they always twinkled like that,

00:15:27or was the incessant blinking making them sparkle?

00:15:30Huh. Was this really the same guy I'd picked up on the side of the road?

00:15:35It made perfect sense now. No wonder I stopped.

00:15:39Suddenly, I felt so much better about my near-death experience.

00:15:43Mom would totally understand why I'd put my life in peril. I mean, look at him.

00:15:48Right, Emma? Kenzie asked.

00:15:51Apparently the three of them had been having an in-depth conversation without me.

00:15:56I nodded absently, having no idea what I'd just been asked.

00:16:01You're very blinky tonight, I said, addressing Finn directly.

00:16:05A smile lit up his already bright face.

00:16:08Well, thank you.

00:16:10You look like you were dipped into Disney's electrical parade.

00:16:14Finn's laughter shook me from my daze.

00:16:17Was this really possible? Did a guy actually find me amusing?

00:16:21I guess there was a first for everything.

00:16:24That's exactly the look I was going for, he answered, running his eyes over me.

00:16:30And you're looking fine tonight as well.

00:16:31We stared at each other, not speaking. The heat between us threatened to set us both on fire.

00:16:38The sounds of the others were muffled as I fought the primal instinct to jump his bones on the spot.

00:16:44What the hell was in those cocktails?

00:16:47I, uh, I still owe you a drink, he stumbled a bit on the words.

00:16:52I just smiled and nodded, never taking my eyes off him.

00:16:56So we'll just be leaving, Kenzie said.

00:16:59So we'll just be leaving, Kenzie said,

00:17:02backing away from our two-person play with a big smile on her face.

00:17:06Casey, can you help me with that thing I forgot to do?

00:17:10Of course, she replied in an exaggerated way, jamming her thumb in Kenzie's direction.

00:17:16She always forgets. The thing.

00:17:20Uh, Emma?

00:17:21I was staring at Finn with blinders on.

00:17:24Emma?

00:17:26This time Casey snapped her fingers in front of me.

00:17:29Text us when you want to go, okay?

00:17:32I nodded. So did Finn. Our eyes were locked. If they'd left, I couldn't tell you.

00:17:39I was fixed on Finn, and ready to push him behind a stage and have my way with him.

00:17:45This was really, really not me. At all.

00:17:49I can't believe I found you, he said, finally breaking the silence.

00:17:54His hand reached out and touched my arm. The contact sent shivers to the tips of my toes.

00:18:00I've been looking everywhere.

00:18:02Well, FYI, I'd never be where you just came from, I gestured to his blinking body.

00:18:10Is it too much? I was just trying to impress you.

00:18:13When they were handing out the bling, I was like,

00:18:15load me up, cause I know this girl who's totally going to dig this shit.

00:18:20The only part of your getup I'm jonesing for is that drink in your hand.

00:18:24Say no more. Follow me.

00:18:27We navigated our way through crowds of people.

00:18:30I was having trouble staying with him as stoned zombies pushed among us.

00:18:34Finn stopped suddenly, and I ran into his back.

00:18:38My god, is he banging her? On a porta-potty?

00:18:42I followed his stunned gaze to see a couple going at it,

00:18:46smashed up against the portable toilet facilities.

00:18:49She was wearing an American flag tank top,

00:18:52and her denim shorts were bunched down around her cowboy boots.

00:18:56Now there's an uncomplicated girl, I said, laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all.

00:19:02God bless her, Finn added, nodding as his head bobbed to their thrusts.

00:19:08The two of us just stood there and watched, mesmerized.

00:19:12And we weren't the only ones. A crowd of people circled around the couple,

00:19:16cheering on the two like prizefighters in the ring.

00:19:19They went at it for an impressively long period of time,

00:19:22seemingly unfazed by their audience, until the woman hit a crescendo and screamed out in ecstasy.

00:19:29Finn, looking sufficiently impressed,

00:19:31took a sip of his drink and then bent down and reflected,

00:19:35It's time to like these, I'm proud to be American.

00:19:39My eyes fluttered over him. Damn, he was adorable.

00:19:43You ready, or should we wait and see if she's got one more in her?

00:19:46Finn asked.

00:19:48Nah, I'm predicting she's a one-hit wonder. Let's get out of here.

00:19:52He held his hand out to me.

00:19:54I didn't do hand-holding. Not that I'd really had the opportunity, but still.

00:19:59It always seemed so gooey and sweet.

00:20:02He immediately picked up on my apprehension.

00:20:05So I don't lose you to the dark side.

00:20:08I continued to stare at his hand like an idiot.

00:20:11What did it matter if I took it?

00:20:13It wasn't like one hundred years of the feminist movement would be shattered if I accepted.

00:20:18Finn smiled at me like my inner conflict amused him.

00:20:22This was ridiculous.

00:20:24What the hell was the big deal?

00:20:26To the dark side.

00:20:27I slipped my hand in his, and of course his palm, like the rest of him, was hot and sweaty.

00:20:34Oh lord. I was so out of my element.

00:20:38Just go with it, Emma.

00:20:40Finn led me to an open-air bar and snagged us a little table,

00:20:43pulling the chair out from me like a gentleman.

00:20:46After ordering our drinks, he took the seat opposite me.

00:20:49We held each other's stare until, suddenly, I felt suspiciously short of breath.

00:20:55So, first off, I've got to thank you.

00:20:59What you did today.

00:21:01I still can't believe it.

00:21:02It's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

00:21:05Taken off-guard by his sincerity, I could do nothing but nod.

00:21:10He must have had a shitty upbringing if that was the best thing he could remember.

00:21:14And secondly, I'm really happy you agreed to have a drink with me.

00:21:18I didn't think you would.

00:21:20Why not?

00:21:22I don't know.

00:21:23You seemed, uh, done with me.

00:21:26Done with you?

00:21:27I questioned.

00:21:28Like I'd worn out my welcome.

00:21:31Yep, that was probably how I'd come to like you.

00:21:35I don't know.

00:21:36I don't know.

00:21:37I don't know.

00:21:38I don't know.

00:21:39I don't know.

00:21:40Jake was right.

00:21:42Well, you didn't.

00:21:44I wanted to call you, but-

00:21:45I get it.

00:21:46You've obviously got plans this weekend.

00:21:49No, that's not it.

00:21:51The truth is, you scare me a little bit.

00:21:54Me?

00:21:55His eyes widened.

00:21:57I promise, Emma, what you see with me is what you get.

00:22:01That's actually the part that scares me.

00:22:03Finn leaned back in his chair, seeming confused, if not a little offended.

00:22:08It's not you, or I guess maybe it is.

00:22:12You're not my type at all.

00:22:14Yeah, I spent a day in your world, he said, studying his drink.

00:22:19I'm pretty sure I know what your type is.

00:22:22My world?

00:22:24Behind the VIP tents, where all the rich people hang?

00:22:27You can't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about.

00:22:31Obviously, I wasn't making myself clear.

00:22:34I'm not rich, Finn.

00:22:35Just connected.

00:22:37I work a normal job, and when I said you weren't my type,

00:22:40I didn't mean it as an insult, but as a compliment.

00:22:43I'm a very careful person.

00:22:46Predictable.

00:22:47You strike me as someone who is the complete opposite of that.

00:22:50Yet for some reason, I'm having trouble looking at you without drooling.

00:22:55Finn blinked back his reply.

00:22:58I'd just provided him with probably the most honest,

00:23:01cringe-worthy explanation possible.

00:23:04And the minute the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

00:23:07I'd laid all my cards on the table for him to play whatever way he saw fit.

00:23:12I could only imagine what was running through his mind.

00:23:15Now that he knew I was an easy mark,

00:23:17would he take advantage of my weakness for his own benefit?

00:23:22Sorry, but if you're predictable,

00:23:24then I've been hanging out with the wrong people all my life, Finn said, grinning.

00:23:30And since we're being brutally honest with each other,

00:23:33even though we've known each other for a total of about an hour,

00:23:36I've spent the better part of the day chasing after you.

00:23:39And when I say that, I mean I've circled the entire festival 20 times.

00:23:44I wish you had just called me because it would have saved me so much exercise.

00:23:49The way you came up to me panting

00:23:51makes me think you could use a little more cardio in your life, I said, grinning.

00:23:56And just so you know, my honesty comes from the alcohol.

00:24:00But even sober, I still thought you were a hot, greasy mess.

00:24:04I'm flattered, he said, rubbing his jaw with his fingers.

00:24:08I think. And surprised.

00:24:11Why does it surprise you?

00:24:14Well, you're just—

00:24:16Finn looked me up and down, as if something about me genuinely intrigued him.

00:24:22He was about to finish his sentence when the waitress brought our drinks.

00:24:25He paid, never taking his eyes off me.

00:24:29And when she left, he completed the thought.

00:24:32Fierce.

00:24:34I nearly fell from my chair.

00:24:36Of all the words to choose, Finn picked that one.

00:24:40I felt a churning of emotion well up deep within my belly.

00:24:44My hand rested on my heart for a split second before I cleared my throat and replied,

00:24:49Why did you use that word?

00:24:51He could clearly see my emotion and attempted to backtrack.

00:24:55Did I say something wrong?

00:24:57I meant it as a compliment.

00:24:59I know. I smiled at him.

00:25:02I just—I like it. Thank you.

00:25:06Finn relaxed upon seeing my smile, but he was obviously confused by my reaction.

00:25:12How could I explain to him that I'd been called fierce before,

00:25:15during a time in my life when I felt anything but?

00:25:19He raised his glass.

00:25:21Here's to a girl with connections.

00:25:23And to a guy who knows how to get grease stains off his jeans.

00:25:27Oh, and to good port-a-potty sex.

00:25:30I'll drink to that, he said, as he clunked his plastic against mine and grinned.

00:25:35I smiled back.

00:25:36I was, once again, feeling the heat.

00:25:40Needing a distraction, I asked,

00:25:42So, did you have fun today?

00:25:44Fun is not the right word for what I've been having.

00:25:48He held up his wristband.

00:25:50Do you have any idea what this baby does?

00:25:53I have a pretty good idea.

00:25:56It's like I've spent the day in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory,

00:25:59and I have a storage unit filled with gold to prove it.

00:26:03Wow, you have been busy.

00:26:05You have no idea.

00:26:07Another long, staring session ensued.

00:26:10We were saying more without words than we were saying with.

00:26:14Finn cleared his voice.

00:26:16So, do you really have a normal job?

00:26:19I'm a nurse.

00:26:21A nurse?

00:26:22Really?

00:26:24Not as glamorous as you hoped, I'm sure.

00:26:27Well, you know, it's just another piece of the puzzle that is you,

00:26:31says the guy who came to a music festival alone.

00:26:34What's up with that?

00:26:36I was going to go with my roommate, Richie,

00:26:38but he decided to become a prostitute last minute and totally flaked on me.

00:26:43A prostitute? I asked, choking back a laugh.

00:26:47That's right, he grinned, choosing not to elaborate.

00:26:52Damn, I wish my nurses looked like you.

00:26:54I might have been more inclined to stay in the hospital.

00:26:58Instantly, my stomach nodded.

00:27:00Was he sick?

00:27:02Finn, catching the worried expression on my face, rushed to explain.

00:27:07Oh, no, nothing like that, thank God.

00:27:10I have kind of a dangerous job, and get hurt more than I probably should.

00:27:15What do you do?

00:27:16Guess, he grinned, leaning back.

00:27:19His strapping chest was distracting my thinking process.

00:27:23Would he mind if I just did a quick little cop of feel under that shirt of his?

00:27:28Focus, Emma, on his profession.

00:27:31You're a cop?

00:27:33No.

00:27:34A firefighter?

00:27:35No.

00:27:37Okay, wait, let me think.

00:27:38I got it.

00:27:39You're a mechanic.

00:27:41If I was a mechanic, I wouldn't have needed a ride this morning.

00:27:45And besides, how is being a mechanic dangerous?

00:27:49I don't know, I guess you could get crushed under a car or something?

00:27:53Actually, now you're getting warmer.

00:27:56You have a job where you get crushed under cars?

00:27:58I asked, confused.

00:28:01No, but I get hit by them.

00:28:03For a living.

00:28:04You're a stuntman.

00:28:06Ding, ding, ding, he said, confirming my guess.

00:28:10You're joking?

00:28:12Afraid not.

00:28:13Rarely did people surprise me.

00:28:16Finn was the exception to that rule.

00:28:19I've never met anyone who does that.

00:28:21It's a hard field to break into, and even harder to find work once you're in it.

00:28:26I imagine you have to travel a lot.

00:28:29Yeah. When I was first establishing myself, I was gone most of the time.

00:28:34Now it's maybe 50-50.

00:28:36I try to look for things in L.A., though, since I hate living out of a suitcase all the time.

00:28:42You don't seem overly thrilled with your profession.

00:28:45Finn looked down at his drink.

00:28:47I saw the hesitation in his response.

00:28:50Lately, I've been second-guessing what I do.

00:28:53I've been thinking of getting out of it.

00:28:56The thing is, I'm an actor.

00:28:58Or at least, that's what I call myself.

00:29:01It's just getting harder to find parts.

00:29:03I'm getting to the point now where I'm tired of the uncertainty.

00:29:07I want to move on from all of it, I think.

00:29:10I don't know.

00:29:11Maybe I don't.

00:29:12I'm a little indecisive, as you can tell.

00:29:15What would you do otherwise?

00:29:17Well, see, that's the tricky part.

00:29:20I don't know yet.

00:29:21Have you been in any TV or movies I've seen?

00:29:24That depends.

00:29:26How do you feel about gory slasher horror films?

00:29:29Not a fan.

00:29:31Then no.

00:29:32I haven't been in anything you've seen.

00:29:34And so, instead of acting, you now basically get hurt for a living?

00:29:39No, I keep actual actors from getting hurt,

00:29:42and try not to get myself killed in the process.

00:29:45Have you ever been set on fire?

00:29:48In training, but not on film.

00:29:50I'm agile, so my specialty is jumps.

00:29:54Free running, aerial, that sort of thing.

00:29:57How did you go from acting to being a stuntman?

00:30:00Finn shrugged, grinning.

00:30:02Well, you know, it was between that and porn.

00:30:06Gulping back my surprise,

00:30:07I swallowed too fast and nearly choked on my drink.

00:30:11Finn had to hand me a napkin.

00:30:12Let me guess, your roommate, the prostitute, is also an actor?

00:30:17Finn clapped for me.

00:30:19Now you're catching on.

00:30:21So you're telling me there are no other viable options out there for young actors,

00:30:26other than to die a fiery death, or sell yourselves to the highest bidder?

00:30:30Whatever happened to waiting tables?

00:30:33Oh, I've been a waiter, don't you worry.

00:30:35But I was looking for a more rewarding career.

00:30:39Uh-huh, I can see where being a porn star would be in that.

00:30:42Incredibly fulfilling.

00:30:44That's what I was thinking.

00:30:46Sort of a win-win, he teased.

00:30:48But then I found out that the porn flicks I was being offered had no females in them,

00:30:53and I wasn't quite desperate enough for that.

00:30:55So now I'm jumping between buildings and getting hit by cars.

00:30:59So, much better.

00:31:02If I could handpick a more opposite person from myself, Finn would be the one.

00:31:08I shook my head in awe.

00:31:10You're crazy.

00:31:11Have you always been a daredevil?

00:31:14Yeah, I like adventure.

00:31:15I take it you don't?

00:31:17No, I don't have a death wish.

00:31:20Neither do I.

00:31:21But living my life without some heart-pounding excitement would be too boring for words.

00:31:26Raising my hand, I confessed.

00:31:29That's me.

00:31:31I don't believe that.

00:31:33You might just be the most interesting person I've ever met.

00:31:37I smiled and shrugged.

00:31:39Believe what you will.

00:31:41Finn suddenly stood up.

00:31:43Come on.

00:31:44What?

00:31:44Where are we going?

00:31:46On an adventure.

00:31:47And bring your drink.

00:31:49He grabbed my hand and pulled me from my chair.

00:31:52I don't like adventure.

00:31:54Only because you've never experienced Finn-related adventure.

00:31:59The confident smile on his face swayed me to trust him.

00:32:03Why not?

00:32:04I'd already laid my life on the line for him multiple times today, and he hadn't killed me yet.

00:32:10I followed him through the fairgrounds, my heart pounding in anticipation.

00:32:15For whatever reason, I felt wildly alive as we strolled through the fairgrounds hand-in-hand

00:32:20like an actual couple.

00:32:22I was surprised at how comfortable I was with the whole thing.

00:32:25I'd spent my life avoiding such situations, but now I couldn't remember why.

00:32:31This felt amazing.

00:32:33Finn stopped and pointed to a spot under a stage.

00:32:36See that?

00:32:37Under there?

00:32:39Yes.

00:32:40I took a nap down there earlier.

00:32:42No, you didn't.

00:32:44Yep.

00:32:45There was no concert at the time.

00:32:47So I just hopped the fence and slept for an hour.

00:32:50Totally relaxing.

00:32:52Until the music started.

00:32:54I jumped up so quick I hit my head.

00:32:57I laughed at his antics.

00:32:59Finn's cozy approach to life both shocked and enticed me.

00:33:04I couldn't imagine not having a plan and just winging it.

00:33:08Where was he sleeping tonight?

00:33:10Did he have something booked?

00:33:12I couldn't ask him, because then he'd think I was giving him an invitation to my place,

00:33:16and if there was one thing I was certain of, I could not be alone with this man overnight.

00:33:22Somehow I just knew if I slept with him, it would be all over.

00:33:26I'd fall hard, and I couldn't do that to my heart.

00:33:30I wasn't even paying attention to where we were until I looked up to find us standing

00:33:34below the giant Ferris wheel.

00:33:37Oh, no, Finn.

00:33:38I don't like heights.

00:33:39You'll be safe, I promise.

00:33:42What if there's a mechanical malfunction, or an earthquake, or even an alien invasion?

00:33:48You can't possibly promise me that I'll be safe.

00:33:51Instead of laughing at my insecurities, as I'd expected him to,

00:33:55Finn wrapped his arms around me.

00:33:58I was shocked at the tenderness.

00:34:01No, you're right.

00:34:02I can't promise an alien nation won't invade while we're on the ride,

00:34:07but since when have there ever been guarantees in life?

00:34:10Little green men could also rain terror down upon you while asleep in your bed.

00:34:14There's no reward without risk.

00:34:17And I have to point out, Emma, a Ferris wheel is about as low risk as you're going to get.

00:34:23How's this?

00:34:24I promise that if a rogue wave materializes in the desert,

00:34:28or a meteorite decides to choose this exact spot to obliterate,

00:34:33I will die first, protecting you with my life.

00:34:38I swallowed hard and swayed a little in his arms.

00:34:41It was the most sincere promise a man had ever made to me.

00:34:45Granted, hook-up guys rarely felt a need to offer up safety and security to a woman

00:34:50they didn't plan on ever seeing again.

00:34:52I could feel my resistance wavering after Finn's heartfelt sales pitch.

00:34:57On any other day, with any other person, such a decision would seem obvious,

00:35:03but today was no ordinary day.

00:35:05I'd broken more self-imposed rules in the last twelve hours

00:35:08than I had in the past ten years of my sedentary life.

00:35:12Finn made me want to take that step out of my comfort zone.

00:35:16He represented danger and risk, two things I thought I never wanted back in my life,

00:35:22but maybe I'd been wrong.

00:35:24Maybe I needed that to feel alive.

00:35:26Staying safe and cocooned in my own little world hadn't made me happy,

00:35:31so what's to say Finn's sloppy approach to life didn't have some merit?

00:35:36Sensing my apprehension, he grabbed my shoulders and retracted the offer.

00:35:41Hey, we don't have to do this.

00:35:44I didn't realize how scared you were.

00:35:47No reward without risk, that's what he'd said,

00:35:50and the elation I'd experienced today seemed to prove the point.

00:35:54Why was I always holding back?

00:35:57Where was that adventurous girl from so many years ago?

00:36:00Could it be that she still lived inside me,

00:36:03just waiting for the right trigger to show her rebellious face?

00:36:08No, I trust you, I said, and strangely enough, I did.

00:36:16Chapter 10

00:36:18Emma 2004

00:36:20The Unsupporting Characters

00:36:23Collapsed in exhaustion on the living room sofa,

00:36:27I struggled to keep my eyes open and focused on my homework assignment.

00:36:32My notebook was lying on Grace's limp head.

00:36:35As she'd insisted on using my lap as a pillow, I insisted on using her head as a desk.

00:36:42Quinn was also out cold, nestled up next to me with his head back,

00:36:46a soft whistling sound emanating from his lips with every breath.

00:36:50Thank God they were finally napping.

00:36:53Who knew kids could have this much energy?

00:36:55No wonder Mom never had time for matching dinner plates.

00:36:59The heat radiating off my siblings' bodies warmed me,

00:37:03and I reached down and ran my fingers through Grace's silky hair.

00:37:07Since that day when Jake went missing,

00:37:09the day I'd yanked on her mane and been so mean to her,

00:37:13I'd used those soft strands as almost a security blanket,

00:37:16mindlessly running my fingers through them whenever sadness threatened to derail me.

00:37:22It had been nearly a month now without him.

00:37:24A month of sickening despair.

00:37:27The house had taken on an eerie feel,

00:37:29and even though it was still filled with people, the emptiness was palpable.

00:37:34Thankfully, the kids kept me so busy that I had little downtime to really think about the heavy

00:37:39void, which was the way I wanted it.

00:37:42Everyone had their own way of dealing with their loss and grief.

00:37:46Mom slept, Dad wandered, Keith smoked pot,

00:37:50Kyle played with knives, and I pretended like Jake didn't exist.

00:37:55That was my way of coping.

00:37:57Well, that, and stroking Grace's glossy hair.

00:38:01I thought about Keith and tried to telepathically reach him.

00:38:05Come home.

00:38:07Since neither one of us had clairvoyant capabilities,

00:38:11I knew my brainpower messaging would not reach him.

00:38:14Keith just didn't care anymore,

00:38:16and when he would sporadically grace us with his presence,

00:38:20more often than not, he was impaired.

00:38:23The red, bloodshot eyes and the skunky smell radiating from his dirty clothes

00:38:28were a telltale sign of his descent into a world I did not understand.

00:38:33Keith was eighteen now, having celebrated his birthday a few days after Jake's disappearance,

00:38:39and although he was a senior in high school,

00:38:42he was only occasionally showing up for classes.

00:38:45The few adults still committed to his attendance, the school staff,

00:38:49seemed reluctant to push our parents past their very fragile breaking point.

00:38:54I frowned.

00:38:56How could Keith just leave me hanging?

00:38:59This was supposed to be a shared challenge.

00:39:01In fact, when Aunt Mel left, he'd promised her, and me, that he would be there for us.

00:39:07He'd lied.

00:39:08As soon as she was gone, so was he.

00:39:11But I needed him, now more than ever.

00:39:14His presence at home made things bearable.

00:39:17When he wasn't high, Keith was an incredible guy.

00:39:20So sweet, funny, and energetic, he'd always been the shining star of the family,

00:39:26and his personality was contagious.

00:39:29I couldn't really pinpoint when Keith got derailed from the straight-and-narrow track,

00:39:33but certainly it was well before Jake's disappearance.

00:39:37Insecurities and the lack of a solid peer group

00:39:40pushed Keith toward a questionable faction of the school population.

00:39:44His was a slow and steady decline.

00:39:47Before the kidnapping, Keith had been far from a model teenager,

00:39:52but at least he'd had our parents fighting to keep his unhealthy habits in check.

00:39:56Now, left to his own devices, Keith was spiraling out of control.

00:40:02I can't deal with this shit, were the last words he'd said to me.

00:40:06Two days ago, before disappearing into the night.

00:40:09As if I were so much more equipped to run a household and keep our little siblings alive.

00:40:14If anything, I was the least qualified person for the job.

00:40:18Becoming a mother figure at sixteen hadn't been on my to-do list,

00:40:22yet when Grace and Quinn were dropped into my lap,

00:40:25I, unlike Keith, had stepped up to the challenge.

00:40:29What was the alternative?

00:40:31Let them starve, both physically and emotionally?

00:40:35Quinn and Grace were like baby birds that had been booted from the nest too soon.

00:40:39Someone had to teach them to fly.

00:40:42I tried to fill the void left by my parents' abandonment, but I was a piss-poor substitute.

00:40:48The amazing thing about children, I found, was that they were resilient.

00:40:53Adapting as a way of survival, I supposed.

00:40:56And so they acclimated to my way of doing things with very little resistance.

00:41:00Perhaps they were just happy someone was doing something.

00:41:04The phone rang, and I gently moved Quinn in order to reach the cordless receiver.

00:41:09Hello?

00:41:10Emma? It's me, Keith.

00:41:13Well, what do you know? Maybe we were telepathic after all.

00:41:17I need your help. Can you pick me up at Hawthorne Park, by the pond?

00:41:23I'm watching the kids. Where's your car?

00:41:26I'm not sure.

00:41:28You're not sure?

00:41:30I'm not sure, Emma. What do you want me to say?

00:41:34Okay, that's... weird, I mumbled under my breath.

00:41:38Who forgot where their car was parked?

00:41:40What's going on, Keith?

00:41:43I just... I need you. Can you come?

00:41:46He asked, his voice shaking.

00:41:49Something wasn't right. I didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that.

00:41:54Of course I'll come.

00:41:56Keith was sitting on a bench by the pond.

00:41:59I could see him looking out over the water as I pulled up.

00:42:02With his shoulders hunched over and his hands folded into his lap,

00:42:06Keith was the loneliest of figures.

00:42:09I turned off the engine and stared at him.

00:42:12If only I could get through to him.

00:42:14Would he even listen?

00:42:16My body shook, and the familiar prickling of unbearable sadness began weighing me down once more.

00:42:23When all was said and done, I wondered if I'd have any brothers left.

00:42:28Slowly, I crossed the grass and took a seat beside Keith.

00:42:32He lifted his head, and I gasped in shock when I got a full view of his beaten face.

00:42:38The skin around his right eye was purple and swollen to twice its size.

00:42:43I barely recognized him under all the bruises and dried blood.

00:42:47What happened? I asked, touching his cheek as I tried to get a better look.

00:42:52Life.

00:42:54Keith?

00:42:55He owed me something more concrete.

00:42:58I had an outstanding balance.

00:43:00Your dealer?

00:43:02What do you think?

00:43:04There was an edge to his voice that pissed me off.

00:43:07He'd asked me to come, so he didn't have the right to those condescending replies.

00:43:13How much do you owe?

00:43:15Enough that this is going to happen again in three days if I don't come up with the cash.

00:43:20How much?

00:43:22Four hundred dollars.

00:43:24Do they have your car?

00:43:26I don't think so.

00:43:27I was out of it last night.

00:43:29I left it somewhere, but I can't remember where.

00:43:33Not knowing how to reply, I just sat quietly looking out over the water.

00:43:38A pair of ducks happily floated by,

00:43:41and I closed my eyes to imagine the feeling of being so content and carefree.

00:43:46It had been a very long time.

00:43:49If I get you the money, will you come home? I asked.

00:43:52No reply.

00:43:54Keith?

00:43:55He sighed heavily, and I felt his body tremble beside me.

00:44:00I don't know if I can.

00:44:02Of course you can.

00:44:03It's where you belong.

00:44:06It's like being in a funeral home.

00:44:08I can't deal.

00:44:10My blood boiled as I fought the spiteful words trying to push their way out.

00:44:15You think I can deal?

00:44:18Keith was quiet for a moment, and then met my eyes and said,

00:44:22You're fierce, Emma.

00:44:23Always have been.

00:44:25I wish I were strong like you.

00:44:27There's no challenge you can't face.

00:44:30You think I'm strong?

00:44:32I laughed, but it came out a bitter scoff.

00:44:35I'm barely holding it together, Keith.

00:44:38But my point is, you are holding it together.

00:44:42The only one of us who is.

00:44:44Fierce.

00:44:44That's what you are.

00:44:46Never forget that.

00:44:48I don't like the way you're talking.

00:44:50I'm giving you a compliment.

00:44:52No, you're talking like you've already given up, and you're making excuses.

00:44:57No, I'm stating facts.

00:44:59You guys are better off without me.

00:45:01Like we're better off without Jake?

00:45:04Keith's face fell, guilt awash in his horrified expression.

00:45:09Good.

00:45:10That was the reaction I'd been going for.

00:45:12How dare he suggest such things?

00:45:15We were family, and he hadn't just abandoned them, but me as well.

00:45:20Keith and I had always been incredibly close.

00:45:23And although it wasn't the same type of loss I'd experienced with Jake,

00:45:27Keith's absence was still a loss.

00:45:30And I couldn't help but fling a little of my frustration into his face.

00:45:34But instead of having the desired effect,

00:45:36my brother covered his eyes with his palms and let the tears flow freely.

00:45:41My regret was instant, and I too began to cry.

00:45:45Keith put his arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

00:45:49Life wasn't supposed to be so hard.

00:45:52I wished I were a duck.

00:45:54You have a choice, I whispered.

00:45:58Keith took his arm back and dropped his head into his hands again.

00:46:01His body shook.

00:46:03My words continued to hurt him, but they had to be spoken.

00:46:07He had to hear them.

00:46:09You have a choice to be home, Keith.

00:46:11To be safe.

00:46:13You have a choice to sleep in your own bed.

00:46:15But instead you're out every night.

00:46:18You drink, you smoke, you do God knows what else.

00:46:21You should be home with us.

00:46:23Because you can be.

00:46:25No, I can't, Em, Keith said, his voice cracking.

00:46:29Why?

00:46:30Are you that selfish that you'd rather be out having fun than being home and suffering

00:46:34right alongside the rest of us?

00:46:37You don't think I'm suffering?

00:46:39His voice trembled in anger.

00:46:41It sure doesn't look that way.

00:46:43You're needed at home.

00:46:45Have you seen Kyle lately?

00:46:48He's barely surviving.

00:46:49You could help him, but you won't because all you think about is yourself.

00:46:53Trust me, Emma, there's nothing you could say to me that I haven't already said to myself.

00:46:58I hate who I am.

00:46:59I hate that I can't be there for you and the others.

00:47:03I hate that some sicko perv has my brother.

00:47:06And I hate that I'm so wasted that I can't remember where I parked my fucking car.

00:47:12Then stop.

00:47:13Just stop all of this and come home.

00:47:16I can't come home.

00:47:18Why?

00:47:20Because James is gone.

00:47:22Because Jake's not there.

00:47:26Keith did come home, but not by choice.

00:47:30Just after climbing into the car, his heavily beaten eyelids drooped,

00:47:34and his weighty head lulled backward in exhaustion.

00:47:37He was snoring in a matter of minutes.

00:47:40I had to smile.

00:47:41With the whole head-tilt thing, Keith slept just like Quinn.

00:47:46After pulling into the driveway, I left him to sleep while I went in search of help.

00:47:51At this point, I'd take anyone, but my father was preferred.

00:47:55His constant wandering had come to an end about a week ago,

00:47:58as if he'd finally come to terms with the fact that his lost son

00:48:01would not be found through sheer love and determination.

00:48:06Dad? I said, stopping suddenly.

00:48:09I hadn't expected to find him so easily.

00:48:12My father was slumped over the kitchen table, searching through hotline tips.

00:48:17He looked up with tired eyes and gave me a weary smile.

00:48:21Hi, sweetheart. How's my girl?

00:48:24Not good. Not good at all.

00:48:27Water pooled in my eyes, and forgetting all about Keith and his vast issues,

00:48:32I threw myself into my father's arms,

00:48:35determined to get myself a little loving while the opportunity presented itself.

00:48:40It might very well have been the first time he'd acknowledged me

00:48:43since this whole nightmare began.

00:48:45Dad patted my back and whispered soothing words into my ear.

00:48:49I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.

00:48:54We stayed there holding each other for a long time

00:48:57before I remembered the reason for seeking him out in the first place.

00:49:01Standing back up, I wiped my tears away and said,

00:49:05Keith's passed out in the car.

00:49:08My father jumped to action, pulling his son into the house

00:49:11and forcing him onto a barstool in order to perform first aid.

00:49:15I served as the nurse, running around and gathering supplies.

00:49:19Together, my dad and I patched Keith back together

00:49:23and then helped him into bed, where he slept for what seemed like days.

00:49:28Mom and Kyle stayed isolated, but after the whole incident with the knife,

00:49:33my mother had somewhat snapped out of her despondent state

00:49:36and stayed by his side most of the time now.

00:49:39While Dad kept vigil over Keith, I continued to care for the kids.

00:49:44Finally, things were moving—if not forward, at least sideways.

00:49:49And sideways wasn't backwards, so it was better than where we'd come from.

00:49:54I could live with sideways.

00:49:59Chapter 11

00:50:02Finn—A Great Trier

00:50:07Emma's inner conflict hadn't escaped me.

00:50:09Her face was a patchwork of indecision as she contemplated her choices.

00:50:14I hadn't intended for this to be a major life decision

00:50:16and felt somewhat bad for even suggesting it at all.

00:50:19Just because I was exceedingly comfortable with heights

00:50:22and an assortment of other daring acts didn't mean everyone else was.

00:50:26Although, to be fair, I hardly considered a securely attached wheel

00:50:30spinning around on its axis to be death-defying.

00:50:33I mean, on a scale from one to dangerous,

00:50:35this was just below eating a big meal before jumping into the deep end of a pool.

00:50:40Still, for a woman who seemed to analyze every decision by level of peril,

00:50:44Emma's sudden decision to accept my offer based solely on the fact that she trusted me

00:50:49blew my mind.

00:50:50Why me?

00:50:51Why now?

00:50:53What was it about me that made her want to conquer a lifelong fear?

00:50:57I'd always dreamed big, but this girl felt like reaching for the stars.

00:51:01I wanted to show her everything, open her eyes to a new and adventurous world.

00:51:06What the hell was I saying?

00:51:08I barely even knew her and I was already planning our damn future.

00:51:12Maybe there was something to that whole theory of knowing instantly,

00:51:15because whatever it was that I was feeling for Emma was more than just lust and excitement.

00:51:20She just felt like this something more I'd been waiting for.

00:51:24Squeezing her hand, I walked us up to the operator.

00:51:26Flashing our wristbands, we were ushered to a separate line.

00:51:30Emma eyed me in surprise.

00:51:32Another perk I figured out earlier today?

00:51:34Free rides.

00:51:36Wow, where did you find the time?

00:51:39I skipped formal meals and just stayed off the ground.

00:51:42Emma nudged me, smiling.

00:51:44It's a wonder you haven't come down with E. coli, or at the very least, worms.

00:51:49You laugh now, but mark my words, Emma, I'll have you eating off the floor in no time.

00:51:54Yeah, I knew the chances of that were about as good as Shelby never hitting me up for money again.

00:52:00The ten minute wait was long enough to weaken Emma's resolve,

00:52:02so I stayed firmly by her side, chatting easily with her as I attempted to calm her tattered nerves.

00:52:08Her vulnerability intrigued me.

00:52:10This wasn't the same determined woman who'd turned me down at the diner,

00:52:13or the same nitpicky stormtrooper who'd blasted her way through the ticket booth to secure me a wristband.

00:52:19No, I was slowly realizing that Emma was a hodgepodge of fascinating contradictions,

00:52:24and learning everything I could about her was quickly becoming my top priority.

00:52:29Our carriage arrived, and I guided her to the basket,

00:52:31holding down the step to keep it from swinging out.

00:52:34I figured if Emma got a taste of the rocking before she was securely seated,

00:52:38it would be the end of her little exercise in self-discovery.

00:52:41Full disclosure seemed the way to go with this woman.

00:52:45Hold on tight. When I get in, it's going to sway.

00:52:48Yeah, okay, she said, gripping the sides.

00:52:53As predicted, the cart swung with the addition of my weight.

00:52:56Startled, Emma's legs splayed out and the tops of her sandaled toes

00:52:59wedged against the inner wall of the carriage.

00:53:02With her wearing a flowing dress and assuming the pap smear position,

00:53:05I could see all the way to her pink panties.

00:53:07And let me tell you, it was a sight for sore eyes.

00:53:10Not only for myself, but for the lascivious carnival roadie salivating beside me.

00:53:15After I gave him a dig in the ribs,

00:53:16the ride operator shrugged his seasoned shoulders and averted his ogling eyes.

00:53:21Maybe just move that foot an inch so I can get in,

00:53:24I suggested. You know, just in case I need to save you.

00:53:28Oh right, that pesky alien invasion.

00:53:32She moved her leg barely an inch to accommodate me,

00:53:34but I needed a little more than that as I placed my hands on either side of the cart

00:53:37and carefully stepped in, nearly straddling her in the process.

00:53:41The carriage immediately rocked back and forth and Emma emitted a freakish yelp,

00:53:45grabbing me around the waist and causing me to lose my balance.

00:53:49Falling on top of her, we were all arms and legs and boners, on my part at least.

00:53:53Damn the pink panties at precisely the wrong time.

00:53:57Untangling, I rolled to the side and took the seat next to her.

00:54:01We looked at each other in surprise and then burst into laughter.

00:54:04Jesus, Finn, you sure know how to make an entrance.

00:54:07I was trying to be careful so I wouldn't scare you.

00:54:10Did I look scared?

00:54:12Well, you have the whole you-use-a-sponge look going on, so yeah.

00:54:16If I'd known you needed so much space, I would have moved over.

00:54:18I just thought you were a little more nimble than that.

00:54:21How was I to know I'd get on a ride with the only stuntman in the world who has shitty balance?

00:54:26I don't have shitty balance.

00:54:27I walk tightropes.

00:54:28But when a woman is spread-eagle in front of me, I lose concentration.

00:54:32Oh, and you might want to close your legs, I said,

00:54:36flicking my head in the direction of the carny in his slobbering mouth

00:54:39to give him a little less to fantasize about tonight.

00:54:43Oh crap, was he looking at my dress?

00:54:46Your dress was already up.

00:54:47He was just looking.

00:54:49Damn, I thought it was breezy, she said,

00:54:52not looking the least bit embarrassed,

00:54:54as she calmly smoothed the fabric over her thighs

00:54:56and disengaged her feet from the ride's walls.

00:55:00To my surprise, instead of resting them on the bottom of the carriage,

00:55:02she crossed her legs seductively and then rested them over my own.

00:55:07Now you are in charge of protecting my virtue.

00:55:10My breath quickened at the sight of her shapely legs

00:55:12and smooth, tanned skin so near my rattled crotch.

00:55:16I'd always been a sucker for long legs,

00:55:18but Emma's were wearing me down quicker than usual.

00:55:21If virtue is the goal, I'm not sure I'm the right man for the job.

00:55:25The ride jerked as it began to move,

00:55:27and Emma's sexy teasing came to an abrupt end.

00:55:30Her legs disengaged and she planted her feet firmly together

00:55:33on the floor of the carriage.

00:55:34She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

00:55:38You okay? I asked.

00:55:40I will be, just give me a second.

00:55:43Good for her.

00:55:44She was really conquering her fears.

00:55:47I smiled proudly at my daredevil entraining,

00:55:49complimenting myself on a job well done.

00:55:52See, with some people all it took was a little patience,

00:55:55but then the carriage swung forward and all hell broke loose.

00:55:59Emma emitted a sound so otherworldly that I actually looked around nervously

00:56:03just to make sure her predicted alien invasion hadn't become a reality.

00:56:07She burrowed into me, on my bad side,

00:56:10and I struggled to stay composed.

00:56:12My ribs shrieked as her terror heightened.

00:56:15Suddenly my feet were the ones wedged up against the sides of the carriage.

00:56:20Her grip tightened at every stop and start.

00:56:23What's happening?

00:56:25Her muffled voice called out from somewhere inside the hollows of my chest,

00:56:28where her head was now securely buried.

00:56:32Nothing, I said, puffing out the breath I'd been holding out.

00:56:36They're just loading more people.

00:56:38Open your eyes, you have to see this.

00:56:40I'm not sure I can.

00:56:42I promise nothing bad will happen.

00:56:44Open your eyes, Emma.

00:56:46Cautiously, she disengaged from my chest and opened them.

00:56:49Her hair was a rumpled mess as she scanned the horizon with wonder.

00:56:54Oh, wow.

00:56:56She blinked in, the awe-inspiring sight.

00:56:58I mean, just wow.

00:57:01See?

00:57:02I told you.

00:57:03I said, filled with pride.

00:57:05Cool, right?

00:57:06It's like we're in the middle of nowhere.

00:57:09Lights for miles and then darkness as far as the eye can see.

00:57:13I know.

00:57:14The only downside is it makes us easier for the aliens to spot.

00:57:18Is it weird I was thinking the same thing?

00:57:21She peered at me through her dark lashes, a hint of mischief sparkling in her eyes.

00:57:25I swallowed hard, the pain suddenly gone but replaced by another sort of ache.

00:57:30Clearing my head enough to be functional, I pointed out some of the various sights.

00:57:34And surprisingly, Emma slowly began to relax, even grabbing my hand and wrapping it around her.

00:57:40Following her lead, my other hand met in the middle and before I knew it,

00:57:43Emma was leaning into me, my arms folded over her in a comfortable embrace.

00:57:47A contented smile had spread across her face.

00:57:51Are you smiling?

00:57:53I am.

00:57:54Thank you, Finn.

00:57:56This is amazing.

00:57:58I pulled her tighter into me and Emma tipped her head up, gazing at me with those trusting eyes.

00:58:03I leaned down and our lips met halfway, grazing and tender yet blazing all the same.

00:58:08Her mouth opened for me and I took advantage of her generous proposal.

00:58:12Our tongues met briefly and I clutched her back, pulling her in closer.

00:58:17Emma groaned.

00:58:18It was a hollow sound as my mouth was now sealed firmly over hers

00:58:22and our tongues and lips were working feverishly.

00:58:25She slid her fingers up my arms and set me on fire with her heat.

00:58:29The ferris wheel continued to spin but neither Emma nor I were interested in the view any longer.

00:58:35Her legs had once again opened, offering me up the spot between them.

00:58:39I sank down over her, wedged myself between them,

00:58:42all but mounting her in the tiny confines of the basket.

00:58:45Emma was as wildly out of control as I was.

00:58:48She wrapped her arms around my back and raked her fingernails up.

00:58:51I shuddered, pushing her back against the seat, my hand snaking its way between her legs.

00:58:56She bit down on her lower lip and whimpered,

00:58:58covering my hand with her own and encouraging me further.

00:59:02Suddenly a volley of whistles and cheers went up

00:59:05and I pulled myself from her mouth to see that the ride had come to a full and complete stop,

00:59:10in front of a waiting crowd of hundreds.

00:59:13Emma pushed me off her and sat up, covering her face with her hand in embarrassment.

00:59:18Are you, uh, did you want another go-round?

00:59:22The roadie asked, smirking.

00:59:24I swear I saw him adjust his dick at the exact moment I was rearranging my own.

00:59:29I looked to Emma to get her opinion on the second ride opportunity.

00:59:33Certainly I was up for another spin,

00:59:35but the stormy look in her eyes told me we were done with the Ferris wheel for the night.

00:59:39Don't be embarrassed, no one cares, I whispered in her ear.

00:59:43Right, like no one cared about the porta-potty couple, she said through gritted teeth.

00:59:49In that case, I said, standing up and offering my hand to her, we might as well own it.

00:59:56Emma looked up and, to my surprise,

00:59:58her momentary hesitation had been replaced by something else.

01:00:02Defiance.

01:00:03A wicked smile transformed her face as her eyes twinkled with the same amusement as mine.

01:00:08Again, a gulp traveled up my bone-dry throat.

01:00:12America the beautiful, she said, and put her hand in mine and I pulled her to me.

01:00:18Wrapping my arm around her back, I planted a heated kiss squarely on those luscious lips of hers.

01:00:23The crowd went wild.

01:00:25This just might be my most acclaimed performance.

01:00:28After taking our bows and exiting the carriage, Emma and I wandered around the carnival a bit

01:00:32longer. Booths were beginning to shut down as they prepared for closing. I followed her gaze

01:00:38to the row of giant stuffed dogs with floppy ears hanging on the top rafters of a prize booth.

01:00:44You want it? I asked.

01:00:47What, the dog? No, she said, waving me off as she crinkled her nose and acted as if what I'd

01:00:54asked was nothing more than crazy talk, but her body language told another story.

01:00:59You do, I laughed. You want the dog?

01:01:03Her eyes lit up with the fun of the moment.

01:01:06Okay, fine, I want the dog. I've never had a guy win me a prize before.

01:01:10When I was a teenager, I always thought it was so romantic.

01:01:14Step aside, woman, your stupid teenage daydream is about to come true.

01:01:18Plopping down the cache, I confidently picked up the basketball and took my first shot.

01:01:23Then a second and a third. I quickly discovered the ball was bigger than the misshapen rim,

01:01:27and one shot after another just skidded off the edge.

01:01:31I think you aim it for the hole, Emma said, snickering.

01:01:35The hole, you say?

01:01:37I slapped my hand to my forehead in an aw shucks display.

01:01:41Of course. Why didn't I think of that?

01:01:45Plopping the next wad of cache down, I discovered a disturbing pattern forming.

01:01:49Not only were none of my shots dropping,

01:01:51but I was quickly running out of cache to make this corny dream of Emma's a reality.

01:01:56Dude, I whispered to the booth attendant.

01:01:58How much for the dog?

01:02:00Not for sale, sorry. I could lose my job.

01:02:03Finn, Emma grabbed my arm.

01:02:06It's no big deal, really.

01:02:08No, I'll stay here all night if I have to.

01:02:10We close in ten minutes, the guy added, helpfully.

01:02:15I'll stay here for ten minutes, then.

01:02:17Taking pity on me, the attendant bent down and grabbed a small stuffed animal out from under the counter.

01:02:22Here, he said, handing it to me. For trying.

01:02:27Aha. That was the way to impress the lady. A participation trophy.

01:02:32I stared down at the stuffed animal.

01:02:34It was one of those cheap, made-in-China ones with no squish value at all.

01:02:39Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the animal I'd been given

01:02:42was in the middle stages of some freakish evolutionary change.

01:02:47What kind of animal is this?

01:02:49Does it matter? The attendant shrugged.

01:02:52It's the best you're going to get.

01:02:55True. I nodded, and then bowed to Emma and handed her the crossbred shark turtle.

01:03:01For the lady.

01:03:03Oh, Finn, she gushed.

01:03:06It's just what I've always wanted. A...um...is that a fin coming out of the shell?

01:03:12Either that or a dick, I said, examining the animal more closely.

01:03:17I honestly don't even know which way is up. Are those eyes or balls?

01:03:21Well, you know, even evolution has its faults, she said, playing along with the insanity.

01:03:27I shall name my genitalia-enhanced shark turtle Darwin, and I will cherish it forever.

01:03:33Thank you, Finn.

01:03:35As my reward for being a good trier, Emma wrapped her fingers around the back of my

01:03:39head and pulled me into her lips. And just like that, we were at it again.

01:03:44Pushing her back against the booth, my hands were all over her,

01:03:47and she was just as enthusiastic a partner.

01:03:50Um...the attendant uttered as the booth shook.

01:03:54I swiveled one eye toward him, the most I was willing to give,

01:03:57seeing as my tongue was down a smoking chick's throat.

01:04:00But then Emma grabbed my ass, and I lost track of the dude altogether.

01:04:05Uh...guys...he tried again.

01:04:08My eye swiveled around once more, only to see the remorse filled in his.

01:04:12Certainly men understood the importance of moments like these,

01:04:15and we did our best to support our brothers.

01:04:18I'm closing. Can you, uh, take it somewhere else?

01:04:22Flipping him a thumbs up, I hooked my arm around Emma's waist and picked her up.

01:04:26I walked us away from the booth, and we kissed where we stood, her long legs wrapped around me.

01:04:31She was hotter than I ever thought possible,

01:04:33and I sincerely hoped our evening was just getting started.

01:04:37Setting her back on her feet,

01:04:38our lips were still working furiously when I panted into her open mouth.

01:04:43You really like the shark turtle, don't you?

01:04:45So much, she moaned back.

01:04:48Imagine what the dog would have got me.

01:04:52We walked back toward the entrance, hand in hand,

01:04:54as Emma used the other one to text her friends.

01:04:57When she finished, she looked up at me apologetically.

01:05:00The girls want to make sure you're not holding me hostage.

01:05:03They're demanding a selfie.

01:05:05I wrapped my arm around her and we smiled up at the camera.

01:05:08After she snapped the picture, we both approved of it before sending it off.

01:05:13Can I get a copy too?

01:05:15I asked, both of us fully aware that if she agreed,

01:05:18I'd have her number, and it would be a game changer.

01:05:21Emma considered my request for a moment before she nodded and sent it my way.

01:05:26I eagerly awaited its arrival, and when it came through, I sighed in relief.

01:05:30Now I had a fighting chance.

01:05:32I need to go. They're waiting for me.

01:05:35Are you sure you have to go right now? I asked.

01:05:38I was hoping to prove to you that I have better aim than you're giving me credit for.

01:05:44Yeah, I know what you were hoping for.

01:05:46I grinned. What the hell did she expect?

01:05:50Emma placed her hand on my chest and gazed into my eyes.

01:05:54What am I going to do with you? Do you even have a place to stay?

01:05:57I was going to try and find a patch of grass in the dirt.

01:06:01She laughed.

01:06:02Of course you were.

01:06:04Who comes to a three-day festival with no place to stay?

01:06:08Well, originally we were going to stay with friends of my roommate,

01:06:11but because, you know, he's man-whoring his way through a wedding,

01:06:14I decided to use the truck as my hotel room, and we all know what happened there.

01:06:20Her phone buzzed, and she checked it again.

01:06:23I really have to go. Will you be all right?

01:06:26You know me. I'm not afraid of a few grass stains.

01:06:29I've still got my salt shaker and spoon.

01:06:32Oh, no, that won't work. We need rubbing alcohol for grass stains.

01:06:36Are you serious? I whined.

01:06:39I had no idea cleaning could be so complicated.

01:06:42No wonder all my clothes had marks.

01:06:44I'm more worried about rattlesnakes, Finn. You're in the desert.

01:06:48I'll figure something out. Don't worry.

01:06:50Do you have plans tomorrow? Maybe we can meet somewhere.

01:06:53Or better yet, change your damn mind and let me come home with you.

01:06:56I'm not sure yet. Can I call you?

01:06:59Will you? I challenged, dragging her to me again and lowering my lips to hers.

01:07:05She pushed up against me, and we were all over each other once more.

01:07:08Her hand slid up the back of my shirt, so mine went up her dress.

01:07:11Our PDA moments today were off the hook.

01:07:14She was clearly as into me as I was to her,

01:07:17so why the hell was I not getting an invitation back to her place?

01:07:20We stayed in our sizzling embrace, making out in the middle of the walkway.

01:07:24I half expected another standing ovation.

01:07:27I have to go, she said, winded.

01:07:30Okay, I answered, trying hard to keep the disappointment from my voice.

01:07:35I bent down for one last kiss.

01:07:37If she was leaving, I wanted her to miss me.

01:07:40Finn? She puffed out a breath.

01:07:43Yeah? You can stay?

01:07:46My face brightened. She was inviting me over.

01:07:49Yes, hallelujah.

01:07:52And my car?

01:07:53She finished.

01:07:54Car? She finished.

01:07:57Shit, fuck, damn it.

01:07:59Your car? I asked, deflated.

01:08:03I know it's not what you were hoping for, but I can't invite you to my room. I'm sorry.

01:08:08Well, it wasn't a warm bed and a hot chick,

01:08:10but the car was my best option yet, so I took it.

01:08:13Instead of sharing with her friends, Emma and I took our own Uber back to her place.

01:08:18I was getting the distinct impression that she was trying to keep me separate

01:08:21from whoever was staying at that hotel with her.

01:08:24Did she have some guy back there?

01:08:26I didn't mind a little healthy competition,

01:08:28and I certainly wasn't afraid to fight for what I wanted,

01:08:31but the idea of her having someone else on the side really bothered me.

01:08:35Was this someone kissing her like I had?

01:08:38And more importantly, could he hit the damn hole at the basketball booth

01:08:41and win her the floppy-eared dog?

01:08:47Chapter 12

01:08:49Emma

01:08:51Feeling the Chill

01:08:54Are you sure about this? I asked,

01:08:57hitting the unlock button on my car, which emitted a chirping signal.

01:09:02Between this and a rattlesnake bite? Finn replied, nodding.

01:09:06Yeah, I'm sure.

01:09:08He jogged around to the passenger side and opened the door,

01:09:11not acting the least bit concerned about his comfort, or lack thereof.

01:09:16I had a moment of wavering.

01:09:18How could I make him stay out here when I had a perfectly good couch in my hotel room?

01:09:23And bed.

01:09:25Yeah, that was why.

01:09:26If the last two hours were any indication,

01:09:29there would be no way to keep my hands off him

01:09:31if the two of us ended up in a room alone together.

01:09:35Check this shit out, Emma. It lays flat.

01:09:38Finn was busy taking the slow ride up and down on my chair.

01:09:42What was I worrying about?

01:09:44He was more than happy.

01:09:46The guy was as low-maintenance as it got.

01:09:48I reached in and set my keys in the ignition,

01:09:51turning it on and holding the buttons down enough to crack all the windows.

01:09:55When I glanced over, Finn was smiling at me.

01:09:59You're cracking the windows like I'm a dog?

01:10:02It seems like the right thing to do.

01:10:04I don't know, I don't usually have guys sleeping in my car, I said,

01:10:08shutting the door and speaking to him through the slit in the window.

01:10:12Well, I wouldn't have to sleep in the car if you invited me up.

01:10:16And I wouldn't have you sleeping in my car if I could invite you up.

01:10:22Finn scrunched his brows.

01:10:24Why can't you?

01:10:25Um, maybe because you're a total stranger?

01:10:29And yet you let this terrifying stranger shove his tongue down your throat all night,

01:10:34he said, grinning.

01:10:36I smiled. He had a point.

01:10:39And if him being a stranger was the real reason for my refusal,

01:10:43I'd probably be as confused as he was.

01:10:45But since I was harboring all kinds of other issues, it seemed easiest just to lie.

01:10:51Good night, Finn.

01:10:52Good night, Emma.

01:10:54As I turned back toward the hotel,

01:10:56I held the car keys over my shoulder and clicked the alarm button on.

01:11:01Wait, are you locking me in?

01:11:04His question projected through the small opening in the window.

01:11:07I'm protecting you.

01:11:10Oh, because it really seems like you're locking me in.

01:11:14Are you at least going to leave the keys?

01:11:17And let you steal my car? I don't think so.

01:11:20Really, Emma?

01:11:22What? If there's an emergency, you can still open the doors.

01:11:26And I'll set off the alarm and get arrested.

01:11:30Remember you promised me earlier today that I wouldn't go to jail.

01:11:33And what if I need to take a piss?

01:11:36Stick it out the window, I shrugged, trying to keep the amusement off my face.

01:11:41You didn't give me a big enough crack, Finn grinned.

01:11:44Oh, right.

01:11:46You see where I was going with that?

01:11:48Ah, yes, I nodded, smiling.

01:11:51The big dick reference.

01:11:53Just say the word, and all this could be yours, he said, holding his arms to the side.

01:11:59I pushed the key through the crack.

01:12:01If you steal my ride, I'll hunt you down.

01:12:06I missed him.

01:12:08How weird was that?

01:12:10A chill rattled my body, and as I went to turn down the air conditioner,

01:12:14I glanced around the room at all the nothingness.

01:12:18Precision-tucked sheets, perfectly fluffed pillows,

01:12:21and bleach-white towels double-layered on the rack.

01:12:25Quiet, cold, uninviting.

01:12:28When I'd checked in earlier in the day, I hadn't noticed its anemic frostiness.

01:12:33But now it was glaringly obvious.

01:12:36This room was as sterile and rigid as I was.

01:12:39How had I become so bland?

01:12:41I never wanted this.

01:12:43When I'd made the decision all those years ago to live my life alone,

01:12:47it didn't mean I had to bundle myself up into a box and stop feeling.

01:12:51A well of regret bubbled up as sadness enveloped me.

01:12:56Why was I like this?

01:12:58When had the color faded from my world,

01:13:00and what had changed since I'd walked through these doors earlier in the day?

01:13:05The tiniest little spark had ignited my spirit.

01:13:09It would be easy to say it was Finn who'd awakened me,

01:13:12and in a way he had,

01:13:14but when it came right down to it,

01:13:15I gave the credit to a sparkling, spinning wheel in the sky.

01:13:19As stupid as it sounded,

01:13:21that moment,

01:13:23suspended high above the ground in a rickety basket,

01:13:26with the arms of a patient man wrapped around me,

01:13:29I'd seen the light.

01:13:31Sure, I'd been afraid.

01:13:32Petrified, even.

01:13:34But that wasn't the only emotion I'd felt.

01:13:36The pounding heart.

01:13:38The thrill.

01:13:39I felt alive.

01:13:41Really, truly alive,

01:13:42for the first time since caution had blanketed my potential all those years ago.

01:13:47Still, I knew my limit.

01:13:49And Finn, with all his sweet, sexy charm, was it.

01:13:53He was the affable guy I avoided at all costs,

01:13:56and for good reason.

01:13:58I could already feel the difference with him,

01:14:00and not just on a physical level.

01:14:02Our chemistry was undeniably electric.

01:14:05But that wasn't what concerned me.

01:14:08No.

01:14:09It was the fact that after only a few hours of knowing him,

01:14:12I'd inexplicably introduced Finn to my real self,

01:14:16flaws and all.

01:14:17And he hadn't shied away.

01:14:19He even seemed to welcome my quirks.

01:14:22How was that possible?

01:14:24And why was I suddenly feeling so cold and alone without him?

01:14:28Maybe I should invite him up.

01:14:31It seemed stupid for him to be sleeping in my car

01:14:33when I had a perfectly good couch to crash on.

01:14:36I could control my desires.

01:14:38I'd been doing it all my life.

01:14:41Except Finn radiated heat.

01:14:43Hot, sweaty heat.

01:14:45And although I knew he could warm me up,

01:14:47I also knew he had the ability to make me fall hard for him.

01:14:51And that terrified me.

01:14:53I absolutely could not lower my guard around him.

01:14:57No sex with Finn.

01:14:58Ever.

01:15:00Peering out the window, I wondered what he was doing now.

01:15:03Was he too hot?

01:15:05Did he have enough air?

01:15:06Was he uncomfortable?

01:15:08I imagined those long legs of his folded up against the glove compartment.

01:15:13This was ridiculous.

01:15:15We were adults and could repress our lust for one night

01:15:18so Finn could at least be comfortable.

01:15:20I could just go down there and lay it out for him.

01:15:23Friends.

01:15:24That's all I'd allow us to be.

01:15:26I'd be clear with my intentions

01:15:28and let the choice be his of whether that was enough for him.

01:15:32That way he could have a good night's sleep,

01:15:34I could remain a barren maiden,

01:15:36and the room would instantly warm with his welcome companionship.

01:15:40With that in mind, I slipped on my shoes and headed back out the door.

01:15:46Travis, one of Jake's security guys,

01:15:48was sitting on a chair beside the elevator.

01:15:51You pulled the night shift, huh?

01:15:53That sucks, I said.

01:15:55You catch any runners?

01:15:57Not yet.

01:15:59We had a few who tried the stairs, but they didn't get far.

01:16:02Where are you going at two in the morning?

01:16:04The elevator door opened and I stepped in.

01:16:07None of your business, I smiled.

01:16:10And I'll be back soon, with a friend.

01:16:12You'd better not say a word.

01:16:15You insult me, Travis grinned.

01:16:17I'm a professional.

01:16:19I know that.

01:16:20I'm just asking you to be a quiet professional.

01:16:24The glowing light emanating from inside my car told me Finn was still awake.

01:16:29I crept up slowly, determined to give his heart a little extra excitement.

01:16:34Bang, bang, bang.

01:16:36I transformed my voice into a menacing growl as I smacked my hands on the hood of the car.

01:16:43Holy shit, Finn screamed, shooting up in his seat,

01:16:46his eyes awash in fear and confusion,

01:16:49and it took him a moment to recognize that it was me

01:16:52staring at him through the slats of the window.

01:16:55It's just me.

01:16:56I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I laughed.

01:16:59Oh my god, what the hell?

01:17:01That wasn't funny.

01:17:02I almost shit my pants.

01:17:04I'm not kidding.

01:17:06Okay, that was a stupid move, the poor guy.

01:17:10But then my eyes narrowed in on the phone in his hand,

01:17:13or more precisely, the picture on the screen, and I lost all sympathy for him.

01:17:19Apparently, Finn was looking at a picture of me,

01:17:22a close-up of my eyes, magnified in full color from the selfie we'd taken.

01:17:28I was just, ah.

01:17:30Finn stumbled over his words as he desperately tried to find the power button.

01:17:35It was so easy under normal circumstances.

01:17:38But now, when his life seemed to depend on it,

01:17:41Finn hopelessly fumbled with his device until it finally, and mercifully, went black.

01:17:48Please tell me you weren't rubbing it out in my car, I asked.

01:17:52Grossly enough, I was almost flattered.

01:17:55No, I—no.

01:17:57Relax, I'm kidding.

01:17:59Your hands are in the safe zone.

01:18:01What were you doing with my picture, anyway?

01:18:04I was looking at it.

01:18:06What do you think I was doing?

01:18:08And don't say spanking the monkey, because I wasn't.

01:18:11If there is one thing I've learned about you, it's that you don't like messes.

01:18:15Oh, and you seem to be a bloodhound when it comes to germs and bodily functions,

01:18:19so the last thing I was going to do was jack off in your car.

01:18:24Do you like my eyes, Finn?

01:18:26I teased, batting my lashes for him.

01:18:29Shut up.

01:18:30Leave me alone.

01:18:31I haven't forgiven you yet.

01:18:33You scared the living hell out of me, he said, exhaling with relief.

01:18:38Sorry.

01:18:39Let me make it up to you?

01:18:41Let me guess.

01:18:42You're going to get me Super Bowl tickets?

01:18:44No, but I probably could.

01:18:46I don't doubt it.

01:18:48We stared at one another in amusement.

01:18:51How would you like to trade your current digs for the comforts of my hotel couch?

01:18:56Grabbing his backpack, Finn was out the door in a split second

01:19:00and jogging for the entrance to the hotel.

01:19:03You coming?

01:19:04He called over his shoulder.

01:19:06I laughed as I ran up to him and snagged my keys out of his hand.

01:19:10Finn playfully grabbed me and pulled me in tight to his body.

01:19:14It had been his signature move all night, and I was digging his aggressiveness.

01:19:19Breathing heavily, we took in one another with the same intensity

01:19:22that had surprised me earlier in the night.

01:19:25The two of us together were smoldering, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

01:19:30This was a different level of lust, something I'd never experienced.

01:19:35I had to be exceedingly careful tonight,

01:19:37or Finn would steal my heart right out from under me.

01:19:41I pushed him away.

01:19:43There are rules to my offer.

01:19:45Despite our little make-out sessions, Finn, I have no intention of sleeping with you,

01:19:50so if you come upstairs with me, tonight will be entirely platonic.

01:19:55Sure thing, buddy, he grinned.

01:19:58Finn? I narrowed my eyes in warning.

01:20:02What?

01:20:03Don't look at me like that.

01:20:05Like what? he protested.

01:20:08All hopeful.

01:20:09I promise you'll be sorely disappointed.

01:20:12Relax. I'll take what I can get.

01:20:16I don't mean to complain about your first offer,

01:20:18but your gear shift kept going up my ass.

01:20:21Laughing, I aimed my keys at the car and locked it.

01:20:26You're not going to roll up the windows?

01:20:28Nah, I need to air it out, I replied, crinkling my nose in a display of disgust.

01:20:34Again, no jizz was expelled into your vehicle tonight.

01:20:38Let it go.

01:20:40So sensitive.

01:20:42Anyway, I just want to reiterate once more in case you weren't listening the first time.

01:20:48When I said couch, I meant it.

01:20:51That golden ticket of yours did not include sex with the bearer.

01:20:54Are we clear?

01:20:56Can I at least kiss you? he asked,

01:20:59playfully hovering his lips over mine without actually making contact.

01:21:03A slight tremor fluttered through me.

01:21:06Finn's presence was driving me wild.

01:21:08I was making a huge goddamn mistake.

01:21:12I think we need to keep it professional.

01:21:14Professional?

01:21:16Finn sized me up.

01:21:18There's not one damn thing that's professional about what's going on between us.

01:21:22Do you want to go back to the car? I asked, like a parent scolding a child.

01:21:28No.

01:21:29Then behave.

01:21:31Fine.

01:21:32He held on a moment longer before loosening his grip and allowing me to roll out of his embrace.

01:21:38I led him through the lobby and up the elevator.

01:21:41What floor? he asked.

01:21:44The top.

01:21:45Uh-huh. He nodded, grinning.

01:21:48Travis looked up when the door opened, but I didn't make eye contact.

01:21:52I knew he was smirking inside, so I didn't need to add fuel to the fire.

01:21:57I saw Finn's confused reaction to the security guy,

01:22:01and when we were far enough away, he asked,

01:22:03What's with the guy at the elevator?

01:22:06Not knowing how to respond, I just ignored the question.

01:22:10Do you know him? Finn continued, pressing for answers.

01:22:14He's security.

01:22:16For what?

01:22:17Musicians staying at the hotel, I guess.

01:22:20On this floor? Finn asked, looking around with interest.

01:22:24Like who?

01:22:26I don't—you know, anyway, you can put your stuff down over there.

01:22:30He shot me a quizzical look, but didn't press.

01:22:33Another question I'd left hanging.

01:22:36He had to be confused as hell.

01:22:39I needed to tell him about Jake, but for some reason,

01:22:42I'd always found it an awkward conversation to have.

01:22:45Hi, my name is Emma, and my brother is Jake McAllister.

01:22:49Yes, that Jake McAllister.

01:22:52Although at the same time, the longer I waited,

01:22:54the weirder it would get for the both of us.

01:22:57This is an expensive room on a nurse's salary, Finn said, fishing for clues.

01:23:03Don't you think?

01:23:04I shrugged.

01:23:06I mean, before Richie and I decided to camp out on his friend's floor,

01:23:10we'd checked into renting a hotel room.

01:23:13One of these suite-style abodes was a couple grand for the weekend.

01:23:17Oh, yeah? Huh.

01:23:19Come on, Emma, what are you hiding from me?

01:23:23I ignored his question and pointed at the couch.

01:23:26Your bed.

01:23:27Awesome. He nodded.

01:23:30Would you mind if I showered first?

01:23:32I thought you'd never ask.

01:23:3613 Emma, 2004

01:23:42Remember Me

01:23:45The phone call came one day shy of five weeks.

01:23:49I was in the kitchen with Quinn and Grace when it happened.

01:23:52A few minutes before the ringing began, Mom had entered with Kyle.

01:23:56Although nowhere near the woman she was before the kidnapping,

01:24:00Mom was at least making an effort to show some emotion toward the rest of her children.

01:24:05Mommy!

01:24:06Grace cried out, excitedly jumping from her chair

01:24:09and throwing herself onto our mother's wilted body.

01:24:12My sister had been struggling for weeks now with the lack of attention.

01:24:17I did my best to cuddle and soothe her when the situation demanded,

01:24:21which honestly felt like a lot for a kid her age.

01:24:24Although, to be fair, I wasn't exactly the snuggly type to begin with,

01:24:28and I found myself pushing her away when she got too needy.

01:24:32Still, I wanted this so badly for Grace.

01:24:35All she craved was a little loving.

01:24:38My stomach tightened as the scene played out in front of me,

01:24:41and I silently prayed my mother would show her even the slightest bit of interest.

01:24:46To her credit, she bent down and hugged her youngest child.

01:24:51Oh, Mommy, Mommy, I missed you, Grace said,

01:24:54cooing as she burrowed herself in deeper.

01:24:57Tears immediately filled my mother's eyes.

01:25:00At least she seemed to understand her neglectful behavior

01:25:03was horribly impacting the lives of her other children.

01:25:07Grace lifted her arms, begging to be held.

01:25:10But that was where Mom drew the line.

01:25:13No, she whispered.

01:25:15Mommy doesn't have the strength to pick you up right now.

01:25:18Go sit back down.

01:25:20I watched her pat Grace's head and then turn away.

01:25:24Confusion and hurt skipped across my sister's face, freezing my heart.

01:25:29I grabbed her hand and led her back to the table.

01:25:32By the time Grace climbed into her chair, tears were rolling down her face.

01:25:37I worried about my sister.

01:25:39How could she ever mature into a strong,

01:25:42secure woman without the support of the one person she needed most?

01:25:46Quinn caught my eye and rolled his.

01:25:49I smiled sympathetically in his direction,

01:25:52and he groaned before dramatically burying his head in his outstretched arm.

01:25:57Six years old, and he was quickly becoming as jaded as the rest of us.

01:26:01Mom glanced in his direction, studied him a moment, and visibly winced.

01:26:07I wondered if Quinn registered the visceral reaction

01:26:10his resemblance to Jake was inciting in the rest of us.

01:26:13Did he read it as something it wasn't?

01:26:17After Mom's heartless declaration of Jake's unconfirmed death,

01:26:21Quinn had changed.

01:26:22And although I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was,

01:26:25the difference in him troubled me.

01:26:27It was as if he'd grown up overnight,

01:26:30and I feared his quick upbringing wasn't going to serve him well in the future.

01:26:35Still, his newfound maturity certainly made things easier on me.

01:26:39Quinn was becoming more self-sufficient every day,

01:26:42and seemed to understand that the new house rules did not favor him.

01:26:46He no longer sought attention, having perhaps learned that there was none to be had.

01:26:52The innocence that once shone bright on his adorable little face seemed shaken.

01:26:57It was clear to me that his stoic exterior was all for show.

01:27:01With Quinn, more than any of my other traumatized siblings,

01:27:05I cursed myself for not having the emotional maturity to soothe him.

01:27:10Maybe it was his resemblance to Jake that made me want to save him.

01:27:14Or maybe, just maybe, he was the only one of us that could actually be saved.

01:27:21Is there any extra food for Kyle? Mom asked.

01:27:25Refusing to make eye contact with her, I nodded,

01:27:28and grabbed the bag of bread I'd bought earlier at the store.

01:27:32I'll make it, she said, her hands trembling as she reached for the loaf.

01:27:37It's okay, I'll do it, I answered in a clipped tone.

01:27:41The last thing I wanted was my mother's help. It was too little, too late.

01:27:45I understood she was struggling, and I wanted to feel sympathy for her, but I just couldn't.

01:27:51My anger toward her ran too deep.

01:27:54Emma, I got it, she said, grazing my hand. I startled at her touch. It had been so long

01:28:01since I'd felt it. We stared at each other a moment, and the pain in her eyes gave me pause.

01:28:08Okay. I stepped away and slumped back down in my chair beside Quinn and Grace.

01:28:14While Kyle stared down at his bare feet, Mom wordlessly prepared his lunch.

01:28:19Gone was the wild, attention-seeking brat I loved to hate.

01:28:23In his place was a kid I hardly recognized. With his shaved head and oversized clothing,

01:28:29he looked more like the survivor of an apocalypse than a Southern California skater boy.

01:28:35Sadness seeped from his every pore. Looking at him reminded me of all we'd lost.

01:28:42Mom motioned for Kyle to sit, and he obeyed robotically.

01:28:46She placed his lunch before him, and he just stared down at the food.

01:28:50Eat, Mom instructed, and again he followed orders.

01:28:55After Kyle's excruciating cry for help last week, Mom had spent that entire night in his room with

01:29:01him. I didn't know what was happening in there, but when the door finally opened the next day,

01:29:07a blurry-eyed Kyle made his way to the bathroom and washed the blood and filth off his depleted

01:29:12body. Mom shaved the remnants of his chopped hair away, patched him up, and forced food into

01:29:19his belly. It was at least a start. Maybe Kyle could actually be revived. And maybe Mom was

01:29:26ready to resume being a mother. Hell, why stop there? It was my fantasy world, after all. Maybe

01:29:33Keith would get clean. And maybe Dad would stop his agonizing investigative work. And maybe,

01:29:39just maybe, Jake would find his way home. A lump formed in my throat. That was a lot of damn

01:29:46maybes. Mom retreated to her perch at the kitchen island and leafed through a pathetically small

01:29:52folder of leads that the missing child hotline had brought in. The first two weeks after his

01:29:57disappearance, the folder had been brimming with possible clues. But now, over a month later,

01:30:04there was next to nothing left. The organized searches had been called off.

01:30:09The reporters were few and far between. Even the hotline had virtually dried up.

01:30:15People were beginning to forget about Jake, like he'd never existed. His disappearance,

01:30:21once a hot media topic throughout America, now generated nothing more than an occasional blurb

01:30:27in the local paper. To their credit, the FBI was still actively working the case,

01:30:33but the hordes of agents who'd once filled our home had been reduced to a trickle.

01:30:39The ringing of the phone pierced through the steely quiet of the kitchen, startling Mom.

01:30:44She glanced up at me, as if I were expected to pick up the call, so I averted my eyes.

01:30:50I hated answering the phone now. It was always someone I didn't want to talk to. Intrusive

01:30:55reporters, nosy neighbors, or freeloaders attempting to benefit from our tragedy.

01:31:01Mom let it ring once, twice, and then, realizing that I wasn't going to answer,

01:31:06walked over and scooped up the receiver.

01:31:09Hello?

01:31:11I could tell by the impatient look on her face that no one was on the other side.

01:31:16Hello! she repeated, and appeared ready to hang up when something caught her attention,

01:31:22and the expression on her face transformed. She held the phone out, possibly to check the number,

01:31:29and when she did, I could hear coughing on the other end of the line. Not a normal cough,

01:31:35like one would have with a common cold, but a wet, gurgling, coughing-up-a-lung type cough.

01:31:41Mom gripped the phone a little tighter.

01:31:44Hello? she asked again, only this time with a tiny morsel of empathy.

01:31:49Who is this?

01:31:51A moment of what I assumed was silence on the other end of the line followed.

01:31:56Who is this? she said in a shaky voice.

01:31:59This isn't funny.

01:32:01Suddenly, her eyes rounded, her face turned white, and she swayed in place. For a second,

01:32:08I thought she might pass out. Something wasn't right. I rushed to her side.

01:32:13Mom? she gripped my arm, her face twisted in shock.

01:32:19Jake? Kyle immediately jumped from his chair. Clearly stunned by her question,

01:32:25we both exchanged identical gasps of astonishment.

01:32:29Jake? Please, if it's you, please talk to me.

01:32:34And then, as if some lever had been switched on her brain, the mother I knew was suddenly

01:32:40back and ready to take action. She turned to me. Go get your dad.

01:32:46Not wanting to leave her side, I said, Quinn, you're a fast runner. Go get daddy.

01:32:52He took off as fast as his little legs would take him.

01:32:56Is it Jake? Kyle asked, and his face shone with the first glimmer of hope in five weeks.

01:33:02I-I don't- she said, her voice filled with confusion, and then suddenly the grip on my

01:33:09arm tightened and she let out a short gasping sob. Yes, baby. Yes, it's me. Where are you?

01:33:17Are you hurt? We all stood transfixed, waiting for something, some confirmation.

01:33:24Dad, his face flushed, rushed into the kitchen with Quinn at his heels.

01:33:29Please, if this is a joke, it's not funny, Mom said in a trembling voice.

01:33:34Dad's wide, expectant eyes constricted to narrow slits,

01:33:38and the optimism he'd run in here with was gone. We'd had these prank calls before.

01:33:44The sheer cruelty of some people never ceased to amaze me.

01:33:48Hang up. Don't play this game. It's just another sicko.

01:33:53Dad blasted out the words as he slammed his fist on the counter.

01:33:57I don't know, Scott. It sounds like him, but he's talking like a child, calling me mommy.

01:34:04Then it's not him.

01:34:05But he says he's been stabbed. He says he's dying. You have to hear the way he's coughing.

01:34:12Mom stopped in mid-sentence. Something the caller said stunned her,

01:34:16and I watched her face crumple before me.

01:34:20Of course I do, baby. Tell me where you are.

01:34:23What did he say to you? Dad asked.

01:34:25He asked if I remembered him. Why would he ask that?

01:34:29Because he's playing with you, Michelle.

01:34:32Listen to this cough, she said, as she pressed the speaker button on the phone.

01:34:37The sounds of violent, guttural coughing startled the whole lot of us.

01:34:42I'd never heard anything like it. Liquid bubbled up with every hack.

01:34:46Dad's anger immediately switched to bewilderment.

01:34:50Who is this? my father asked into the phone, but there was no response, just more coughing.

01:34:56What nickname do you call grandma's dog?

01:35:00We all anxiously awaited the caller's reply.

01:35:03The FBI had instructed us to have a question that only Jake would know.

01:35:07That way if he called, we could confirm his identity.

01:35:11We had used it once before to flush out a fake.

01:35:15I'm taking it off speaker mode, mom said frantically. I can't hear him.

01:35:20Because he's not answering, Michelle, dad replied, defeated. It's not him.

01:35:26No, they usually hang up by now. Something's not right.

01:35:30You can't fake a cough like that, mom said,

01:35:33switching the phone off speaker and returning the receiver to her ear.

01:35:38Honey, just tell me what you call grandma's dog, and then we can come get you.

01:35:42Just try to remember for me, please.

01:35:45Anticipation hung heavy in the air, and since we could not hear what the caller was saying,

01:35:50we watched mom's reaction instead.

01:35:53Whoever was on the line was not answering, but he wasn't hanging up either.

01:35:58Mom gripped the counter, her knuckles blanched a petrified white.

01:36:02Dad shook his head, angry and disillusioned. Then mom's eyes grew wide.

01:36:08What did you say? I couldn't hear you. Say it again.

01:36:13A sob escaped my mother as her knees buckled, and she slumped to the side,

01:36:18nearly taking me down with her.

01:36:21He said it. He said Roadkill.

01:36:26The minute the nickname Roadkill left my brother's mouth,

01:36:30everything changed. Jake's kidnapping went from a relief mission to rescue operation in two

01:36:35seconds flat. While my father was on the phone with the FBI, my mother tried to coax as much

01:36:41information from Jake as possible. We'd been coached for such a moment, although realistically,

01:36:47none of us ever truly believed it possible.

01:36:50Thankfully, tracking the origin of a phone call in the digital age was near instantaneous,

01:36:55and law enforcement was on their way to him in a matter of minutes.

01:36:59Securing Jake's immediate safety now became top priority. From the little information my mother

01:37:05was able to gather from him, my brother was anything but safe. Or sane, for that matter.

01:37:12Everyone but Jake seemed to understand that if he were caught on the phone by his knife-wielding

01:37:16abductor, he would not live long enough to be rescued.

01:37:21Jake, put the receiver down and go hide. The police are on the way.

01:37:26But Jake, confused and at times incoherent, wasn't listening, and he wasn't hanging up,

01:37:31either. He'd been on the line for nearly five minutes now, and every second he remained put

01:37:37him further at risk.

01:37:39Give me the phone, Dad demanded.

01:37:42No. Mom held the receiver tighter in her grip. He needs me.

01:37:47The guy stabbed him, Michelle. What do you think he's going to do when he finds Jake on the phone?

01:37:52Give it to me.

01:37:54Mom reluctantly handed the phone over to him, and my father spoke forcefully into the mouthpiece.

01:38:00Jake, this is Dad. The police are on the way. We are coming to get you. I want you to hang up

01:38:06the phone. Hang up and go hide. Do what I say, right now.

01:38:12After a moment of silence, the line went dead, plunging us all, head first, into a whole new

01:38:18hell. Jake had all but come back from the dead, only to proclaim to our mother that he was dying.

01:38:24Why give him back just to take him again? Just to survive long enough to get to the hospital,

01:38:30Jake would have to overcome huge obstacles, not the least of which was a knife-wielding monster.

01:38:37As soon as the connection was lost, Mom went ballistic, pounding on my Dad's chest,

01:38:42accusing him of abandoning Jake in his moment of need.

01:38:46For me, the room began to spin as nausea set in. No, please, no more. I'd hit my limit and

01:38:55couldn't stand another second of the strife and uncertainty. I ran for my room, my sanctuary,

01:39:01the place where I could put distance between myself and the reality of the world in which I lived.

01:39:07Once inside my safe zone, I slid down the wall, covering my ears. I didn't want to hear,

01:39:14I didn't want to know. They could find me when it was all over, when there was an answer,

01:39:19when they knew for sure whether my brother was alive or dead.

01:39:24Unraveling, my breaths came out in strangled gasps. Please, please, please. We couldn't get

01:39:32Jake back for the briefest of moments, only to have him ripped away again. Please let him live.

01:39:39I was certain my brother would do his part. He'd proven his strength. He'd survived this long and

01:39:45could make it another few minutes. Don't take him away. If Jake were allowed to live, everything

01:39:52would be okay, and we'd have our family back and be normal and happy again. If I could be granted

01:39:58that one wish, Jake's life, I'd never ask for another thing for as long as I lived.

01:40:04The door opened and Kyle appeared, tears streaming down his face.

01:40:09They found him? I asked, fighting back the hysteria. Not yet. Can I? I reached out my arms

01:40:17and he dove into my body, burying his head into my shoulder. Together we remained, crying,

01:40:25waiting, hoping, and praying. And then they came with the answer.

01:40:30It had been a good three hours since Jake's fateful phone call. The busy energy of the

01:40:35hospital was a blur to me. My mind was focused solely on Jake and what his life must have been

01:40:40like for the past five weeks. Images of his suffering flashed before my eyes, and no matter

01:40:46how hard I tried to turn the pictures off, they grabbed hold of my imagination and wouldn't let

01:40:52me go. The terror. Oh God, how could he have survived it alone? At least we had done our

01:41:01suffering as a dysfunctional unit, but Jake... he'd had no one. The fear alone would have done

01:41:08me in. My body shook in protest, and I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands, hoping the

01:41:14darkness would turn off the grisly sideshow. Kyle's incessant fidgeting caught my attention.

01:41:20You okay? I asked. He hadn't left my side since the time we'd shared in my room.

01:41:27Kyle didn't look up, but nodded nonetheless. His leg was bobbing up and down. I laid my hand on it,

01:41:34and the movement stopped. I'm so scared, he said. I know. We should hear something soon.

01:41:43I don't want to get my hopes up, but I can't help it. I feel like I'm in some dream,

01:41:48and I'm going to wake up and he'll still be gone.

01:41:51I reached over and pinched him. Ow! he complained, flinching away.

01:41:57You're awake. This is happening. Kyle nodded, looking down at his feet. I heard the hesitation

01:42:04in his voice as he asked, what if, after all this, he doesn't make it through the surgery?

01:42:11He'll make it. How do you know? I didn't know. My thoughts were the same as his.

01:42:18There was a very real possibility Jake wouldn't survive even after everything he'd been through,

01:42:23but I felt the need to be strong for Kyle. He deserved that much.

01:42:29Because this is our miracle, Kyle, I said, shaking with emotion. We earned it.

01:42:36My little brother didn't respond to me in words,

01:42:38but he laid his head against my shoulder, as if I'd brought great comfort to his weary soul.

01:42:44I hugged him to me, and we sat like that for some time before Keith,

01:42:49flushed and sweaty, burst through the waiting room door. It was about goddamn time. I shot

01:42:55out of my seat and stomped over to him. Where have you been? Keith flinched away as I drew near,

01:43:02the murderous expression on my face clearly startling him. It had taken him a week to

01:43:07recover from the beating, and I had hoped, after Dad had paid his debt and recovered his car,

01:43:13that he'd learned his lesson. But, like the addict he was now presenting himself to be,

01:43:19it didn't take long for him to climb out his bedroom window and disappear from our lives once

01:43:23more. I'm sorry. I messed up. What's wrong with you? Angry tears rolled down my cheeks in big,

01:43:32slobbery lines as I delivered a few punches to his arms and chest. Keith didn't even try to

01:43:38fight me off because he knew damn well that he deserved the girly beating. The guilt on his face

01:43:44was not lost on me, but I was too angry to care. When I'd tired myself out, Keith wrapped his arms

01:43:51around me, hugging me, and I sobbed into his shoulder. I'm so sorry, Emma. There's nothing I

01:43:58can say that will make this better. We can talk about this later, but right now I need to know

01:44:03about Jake. Is he okay? Our parents re-entered the waiting area. They'd been called out an hour

01:44:11earlier to be briefed on the investigation by a pair of FBI agents. One look at their worn,

01:44:16tear-streaked faces made my heart clench in fear.

01:44:20What happened? I asked. They looked at each other, hesitant to speak.

01:44:26No, Kyle burst out. Mom went to him immediately.

01:44:31It's not that, she soothed him. Jake's still in surgery. It's not that.

01:44:37What aren't you telling us? Keith asked, as if he hadn't just rejoined our family seconds ago.

01:44:44Our parents exchanged another nauseous look before Dad spoke.

01:44:49The guy who kidnapped Jake is dead. It wasn't what any of us expected to hear.

01:44:54I looked to my siblings. Their confusion matched my own.

01:44:59Okay, that's good, right? I asked. It's… ah, they think Jake did it.

01:45:08Did what? I couldn't comprehend what my father was saying.

01:45:13It was just too unbelievable. They think Jake killed him.

01:45:17This time, the words burned through my chest, nearly stopping my heart. I couldn't come up

01:45:22with a coherent response. Keith spoke for me. That's not… no way could he kill someone.

01:45:31Mom dissolved into tears, and I shook my head in disbelief. Was it really true?

01:45:37I looked to my father for explanation. He sighed before continuing.

01:45:42Here's what they're saying.

01:45:45Who's saying? Keith interrupted.

01:45:48The FBI. They're saying that there were only two people inside the house.

01:45:53Jake and his kidnapper. Both had been stabbed. When they found the man's body,

01:45:58there was only one set of bloody footprints leading away from it. Jake's.

01:46:03So, you're saying by the time he called us, the guy was already dead? I asked.

01:46:09It appears that way, Dad said, nodding.

01:46:13A stunned silence followed as we all let the truth sink in.

01:46:17Well, I guess it made sense now why Jake didn't seem concerned about getting caught on the phone.

01:46:23Keith finally broke the moment of reflection by sinking down into the closest chair and mumbling,

01:46:28Jesus.

01:46:30None of us spoke after that. Shock filled the open spaces.

01:46:35Mom rubbed Kyle's back as Dad shifted back and forth with that same sick expression he'd had

01:46:40on his face when he'd entered the room. There was a lot more he wasn't saying.

01:46:45Obviously, their briefing had been much more in-depth than what they were sharing with us.

01:46:50How bad could it have been for him to actually kill someone?

01:46:54I mean, Jake, the most mild-mannered kid alive.

01:46:58The reality of what he'd been through was sinking in, and at that moment I knew with certainty

01:47:04that the truth of what he'd endured in those five weeks would be more than any of us could bear.

01:47:12Chapter 14

01:47:15Fenn Breakfast of Champions

01:47:18Are you almost done in there?

01:47:22Emma's impatient voice drifted through the bathroom door.

01:47:26Easy there, I answered back. Are you that eager to see me naked?

01:47:31No, I just want to see you without the baseball cap.

01:47:34My cap?

01:47:35I swiped my hand over the mirror to get a look at my unruly locks.

01:47:39Why, you had a thing for curly hair?

01:47:42No, quite the opposite, actually.

01:47:45I opened the bathroom door and cocked one eyebrow in her direction.

01:47:49Yep, that's what I thought.

01:47:51She nodded and turned away.

01:47:53What's wrong with my hair?

01:47:55Nothing, she said, grinning.

01:47:58Obviously there is, if you had to specifically mention it.

01:48:01Is this one of your weird germ-phobia things?

01:48:04No, Emma laughed.

01:48:07Unless, of course, you have little creatures growing in that crazy wilderness.

01:48:11Then keep away from me.

01:48:13I exaggerated my offended look for her benefit.

01:48:16I'll have you know that normal women find my curl-to-lash ratio a major selling point.

01:48:22Only because you have a handsome face, it offsets the rest, she replied,

01:48:26sounding bored, but when she caught my eye, hers twinkled in amusement.

01:48:32You have an interesting way of delivering compliments, Emma.

01:48:35I'm only teasing you because you know you're hot.

01:48:38So you're saying if I had a face like a gargoyle, you'd be nicer to me?

01:48:41Of course, Emma stood up, stretching.

01:48:45Her long angles and toned body were a visual I didn't need if I was going to be coming out

01:48:49of the bathroom any time soon.

01:48:52Then, she said, whining, I have to brush my teeth.

01:48:56I opened the door wide for her to join me.

01:48:59Be my guest.

01:49:01You are my guest.

01:49:02Now hurry up.

01:49:04I'm almost done.

01:49:05You keep distracting me with all your nit-picky little insults.

01:49:07I shut the door on her, but then remembered one more detail I thought she might appreciate

01:49:11and opened the door again.

01:49:13And the only creatures that would be growing in my hair would be ones I'd specifically put there.

01:49:18Do I even want to know?

01:49:20There was this kitten once.

01:49:22You're so weird.

01:49:23I can't even deal.

01:49:25Grinning, I shut the door.

01:49:27That should do it.

01:49:28I grabbed my backpack and took a quick look at my less-than-appealing reflection in the mirror.

01:49:33Did I actually have to prove to this woman that I was more attractive than she thought?

01:49:36Did I have to prove to this woman that I was more attractive than she was giving me credit for?

01:49:40Jesus, she was finicky.

01:49:42I loved it.

01:49:44All right.

01:49:45You know what?

01:49:45Game on.

01:49:46If she wanted pretty, I'd give her pretty.

01:49:49After performing a quick shave and sprucing up the old curls, I was satisfied with my

01:49:54transformation and ready to vacate the premises until a throbbing ache in my ribs doubled me over.

01:49:59I heard Emma groan from outside the door when I turned the shower on again.

01:50:02I'm not positive, but I think she made some snarky comment about me jacking off.

01:50:07The thought had actually crossed my mind.

01:50:09This could be a rough night without one.

01:50:12I stuck my head in the shower and inhaled a heavy dose of steam.

01:50:15The humid temperature filled the small room,

01:50:17opening up my lungs and making breathing slightly less uncomfortable.

01:50:21I thought back to the doctor's advice.

01:50:24When he'd said to take it easy for the next few days,

01:50:26I was pretty sure he hadn't been envisioning a weekend like mine.

01:50:30Once I'd wrapped an elastic bandage around my ribs,

01:50:32an internal debate over clothing became my new focus.

01:50:36What exactly was she expecting tonight?

01:50:38Was this truly going to be a platonic situation, or did she expect me to make a move?

01:50:43And if I made a move that was unwanted,

01:50:45would she turn me over to the security guard in the hallway?

01:50:48And what the hell was all that about, anyway?

01:50:50Emma was definitely a mystery.

01:50:52Her signals were all over the place.

01:50:54If she were a traffic light, cars would be colliding right and left.

01:50:58In the end, I opted for a t-shirt and boxers,

01:51:01deciding it was the most neutral of all the options.

01:51:04Big mistake.

01:51:06The minute I stepped out of the bathroom, my eyes focused on Emma,

01:51:09who had changed into a form-fitting white tank top and flowy shorts

01:51:12that had reached high up on her shapely thighs.

01:51:15The room was chilly, and her nipples had taken notice.

01:51:18I immediately stiffened, and I was forced to cover my bulge with the backpack.

01:51:22I shuffled to the couch and sat down,

01:51:24replacing my backpack with a pillow and willing my body to behave.

01:51:28Emma stared at me, but it was unclear what she thought of my makeover.

01:51:31Her lack of reaction gave me no encouragement.

01:51:35Bathroom's free, I said, in an attempt to break the awkwardness and send her on her way.

01:51:41Oh, right.

01:51:43When she emerged a few minutes later, she glanced at me and then quickly looked away.

01:51:48My eyes shifted to her chest again.

01:51:50She wasn't a large-breasted woman, but those point-blank tits.

01:51:54My god.

01:51:56My pillow levitated.

01:51:58Was Emma really committed to sleep?

01:52:00I watched as she bent down to fluff the sheets,

01:52:02and that rounded button those little shorts caused my cotton dick shield to tip over on its side.

01:52:08But this was definitely looking more and more like a platonic sleepover.

01:52:12She slipped under the covers.

01:52:14Okay, well, good night.

01:52:17Good night, Emma.

01:52:18Thanks for this.

01:52:19I'll see you in the morning.

01:52:21The lights went out.

01:52:22I propped up a couple of extra pillows and eased my body onto them.

01:52:26Pain radiated through me, and an involuntary gasp escaped my lips.

01:52:31The light went back on.

01:52:33Are you okay?

01:52:35Yeah, sorry.

01:52:36I bruised my ribs the other day.

01:52:38Really?

01:52:38Why didn't you say anything before?

01:52:41I don't know, but the thought did occur to me on the ferris wheel

01:52:44when you were digging your head into them.

01:52:46Did you have x-rays?

01:52:48She asked, swinging her long legs out from under the covers,

01:52:51and her breasts walked over to me.

01:52:53Eyes up.

01:52:54Yeah, no breaks.

01:52:57Can I look?

01:52:59She bent over, and of course I could see right into her tank top.

01:53:02It was the pink panty reaction all over again.

01:53:05Eyes up.

01:53:07I pulled my shirt over my head so she could have a look at the ribs.

01:53:10Did the doctor tell you to wrap it?

01:53:13She asked, sitting across from me on the coffee table.

01:53:16Now her breasts were eye-level.

01:53:18Eyes...

01:53:19Oh, shit.

01:53:20I don't know where to put my eyes.

01:53:22Finn!

01:53:23Finn!

01:53:24She snapped her fingers, smirking.

01:53:26Up here.

01:53:28Sorry, they're just right there, I said,

01:53:30squeezing air melons with my hands to emphasize my point.

01:53:34Yes, they do that since, you know, they're on my chest.

01:53:37I can put a shirt on if that will help you focus.

01:53:40I don't think it will help, and no, my ribs just feel better with the wrap on.

01:53:45It can actually constrict your breathing.

01:53:47Oh, well, that's not good.

01:53:49I'm having enough trouble as it is.

01:53:52Breathing?

01:53:53I nodded.

01:53:54Emma began unraveling the wrap until just the naked skin was left.

01:53:58Do you mind?

01:54:00She didn't wait for my reply as her hands made contact with my heated skin.

01:54:05Emma's cool touch sent shivers up my spine as she ran her fingers along my ribcage.

01:54:10Just a little further down...

01:54:12I gulped, closing my eyes and conjuring up the unsavory image of my great-grandmother

01:54:17snapping my nuts with her grabber arm.

01:54:19They all feel intact, she announced, before patting to the counter and dumping the excess

01:54:24water from the ice bucket.

01:54:26I watched as she tied a knot in the plastic bag holding the remaining ice and came back

01:54:30over to me, pushing the freezing pack over my throbbing ribs.

01:54:34She wound the wrap around it to hold the ice in place.

01:54:37The entire time she was asking me questions about my symptoms, the nurse in her, in full

01:54:41swing.

01:54:43Have you taken any pain relief?

01:54:45Not recently.

01:54:46When was the last time?

01:54:47When was the last time?

01:54:49Two days ago, I think.

01:54:51She grinned.

01:54:52Well, maybe it's time for another one.

01:54:55After I'd swallowed a pill, she stood there evaluating me with an amused look on her face

01:54:59and repeated her line from earlier.

01:55:02What am I going to do with you?

01:55:04Anything you want, I offered.

01:55:07Her eyes caught mine and to my surprise she reached out and trailed her nails along my

01:55:11skin.

01:55:13Holy shit.

01:55:14Springing to action, I reached around and grasped her from behind, but Emma abruptly

01:55:18grabbed my wrists and stood back up.

01:55:21No?

01:55:22Okay.

01:55:23I couldn't read her cues at all.

01:55:26You can sleep in the bed, just so you don't wake up in agony tomorrow morning.

01:55:30Just sleep?

01:55:32Yes, just sleep.

01:55:34Oh, Emma, I said, shaking my head.

01:55:38You disappoint me.

01:55:40She laughed as I grabbed the extra pillows and brought them with me.

01:55:43If sleeping really was on her short-term agenda, then I would need them.

01:55:47Without a word, we both climbed into the bed.

01:55:50Tension hung heavy in the space between us.

01:55:52Mine was of a sexual nature, but it was still unclear what hers was.

01:55:56Emma and I both rolled onto our sides, facing each other.

01:56:00Neither one of us spoke.

01:56:01I lay there for a few minutes, debating with myself.

01:56:04Should I make a move or not?

01:56:06Was she expecting it?

01:56:08Would she be offended if I didn't?

01:56:10Damn it, I wished Emma came with an instruction manual.

01:56:14Fuck it.

01:56:15No risk, no reward.

01:56:17Boldly, I reached over and ran my fingers over the warm flesh on her arm.

01:56:21She didn't move or object, so I kept going.

01:56:24Finn, she whispered.

01:56:27I can't have sex with you.

01:56:29Who said anything about sex?

01:56:32I trailed my hand down her stomach and then lower still.

01:56:35Emma opened her legs to my wandering fingers.

01:56:38Now this was a cue I understood.

01:56:43Emma's not-so-gentle nudge woke me from my slumber.

01:56:46I opened one eye and immediately caught the impatient look on her face.

01:56:50Damn, she was a complicated woman.

01:56:52A prickly cactus one minute, soft and engaging the next.

01:56:56I had no idea where I had her or what she was thinking.

01:56:59It was fascinating and frustrating all at once.

01:57:02My pulse quickened at just the thought of spending the day with her.

01:57:05Would she even let me?

01:57:07Emma's current body language definitely indicated she wanted me gone.

01:57:11Except for her moment of weakness on the Ferris wheel last night,

01:57:14Emma was the opposite of a clingy woman.

01:57:17She was like the guy in a one-night stand looking for a quick escape.

01:57:21So what did that make me?

01:57:24You need to get up, she said, poking me once more.

01:57:27Are you trying to get rid of me?

01:57:29I asked, sleep still heavy in my eyes.

01:57:32I don't like lying around all day, Finn.

01:57:34I forced myself awake and took in my bed buddy.

01:57:37Her panties were back on after I'd slipped them off her shapely hips sometime during the night.

01:57:42Although I'd honored her no-sex proclamation, that didn't mean we hadn't fooled around,

01:57:46and I'd quickly discovered that Emma was no timid mouse under the covers.

01:57:51The woman I'd spent the night with knew exactly what she wanted and was not shy about taking it.

01:57:55I felt used in the most wonderfully satisfying of ways.

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