Frasier Season 11 Episode 5 The Placeholder

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Frasier Season 11 Episode 5 The Placeholder

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00:00Does he wear jewelry? Because I don't do man jewelry. He doesn't wear jewelry. What
00:06about skin issues? Because I have a thing against tags, growths, any kind of fleshy
00:13masses. Ann, he's male and his heart is beating. What else do you need to know?
00:21Frazier. Ross, I came as quickly as I could. What's the emergency? Oh no, it's not an
00:26emergency. Hi, I'm Ann Hodges. I'm divorced. I'm sorry. I'm Dr. Frazier Crane. I thought
00:36you two would like to meet, Ann, as an insurance. Well, I'm sorry she dragged you all the way
00:41down here. I've just renewed my policy. But perhaps Ross could introduce you to my brother
00:45Niles. Is he single? No, but with a baby on the way, he might need some additional coverage.
00:51Super. Thanks a lot, Ross. This was totally worth the drive across town.
01:02Are you dense? I was trying to set you guys up. Why would you do that? I don't know. Maybe
01:07because you haven't had a date in ages and it's starting to show. What is that? Your
01:12first? This is a grocery tote. I wanted to pick up some vegetables and some cat food
01:19at the market. You did not get a cat. No, no, I am cat sitting for a neighbor and I
01:24go out. I'm going out this evening. With whom? People. People you're related to? There's
01:31still people. Listen, Ross, I may not go out as often as you do, but that's because I have
01:36standards. Haven't you ever heard of waiting for Miss Wright? Yeah, well, Miss Wright has
01:40standards too and she's not looking to meet Mr. Mothballs. You can smell that? Yes. You
01:48need a placeholder. You know, someone you can go out with and just keep your dating
01:54muscles toned. That way you'll be ready when Miss Wright comes along. And Ann Hodges is
01:59a born placeholder. I don't want to go out with somebody I'm not interested in. I would
02:03rather wait for Miss Wright. And while I'm waiting, there's no reason I can't live a
02:07rich and rewarding life. Oh, if you'll excuse me, let me get these vegetables home and into
02:13a hearty winter soup. Oh, hi, guys. Oh, hey, Doc, you're always free. My cousin's in town.
02:21Why don't you help me show her the city? Did Ross put you up to this? I had nothing to
02:26do with it, I swear to God. Well, I'm sorry, Kenny, but I am booked all this weekend. Oh,
02:32here's luck. I found a perfectly good thimble in his pocket. Thanks anyway. Hey, I tried.
02:44Reservation for Crane. For four, sir. No, sorry, for five. Yes. Yeah.
02:54Why do we have these table for four? We can all squeeze. This one's always on my lap after the second drink anyway.
03:03Very well, madame. Get the chair.
03:09You know, there's really no need to go to all this trouble. I have a perfectly good
03:16winter soup back home.
03:26I'm sorry. Do you have anything higher? Sorry, sir. I will look for a cushion.
03:39So, French, tell everybody about that new antique you picked up today. Well, it's a
03:44late Regency fruit wood mirror. Very valuable if it has the original glass, which mine does.
03:51Oh, I like mirrors. You ought to see the one Ronnie's got in her dressing room. It's got
03:57lights all around the edges and it has three settings. Daytime, nighttime and yikes.
04:08Oh, yes, excuse me. If I could get a place setting, that would be lovely. What's a nice
04:13old duet called? That's our appetizer sampler for two. A bruschetta for you, a bruschetta
04:19for your love and so on. Is it possible to make that for one?
04:27One? Yes, a bruschetta for me, no bruschetta for my love and so on.
04:34I'm sorry. It's a duet or no. That's fine. We'll get to orders and we'll just all share.
04:41Very good.
04:48This is fun. You know, this is the first time Marty and I have been out with another couple.
04:55And Frazier, it's fun being out with Frazier.
04:59All right, listen, all of you, just knock it off.
05:04Welcome, everyone. Forty two years ago tonight, I married my beautiful Teresa. And now we
05:13hope that all you loving couples out there will help us celebrate our happiness by joining
05:22us in a dance.
05:29Oh, just go dance.
05:59Hello, Mr. Bottomsley. Dinner was an absolute nightmare. Fortunately, I was able to slip
06:23out there early and pick you up a little treat.
06:29Fresh tuna. You're welcome.
06:36Frazier, this is Roz. Write down this number. 555-0179. Don't get mad, but that's Ann's
06:44number. I talked to her and she really thought you were cute and sweet.
06:49Honestly, why does everyone assume that I need some companionship in my life?
06:54Has the world gone mad, Mr. Bottomsley?
07:03Well, what should we two bachelors do this evening, Mr. B? Perhaps a crossword puzzle?
07:12Maybe watch a little telly? Oh, I know. How about a nice hot bath?
07:19I'm just teasing.
07:22Now, I know that you're used to eating canned tuna, so this will taste different.
07:29But if you're like me, I think you'll agree. It's much better.
07:34If only there were a treat here for me.
07:39What's this? A delicious nine-vegetable winter soup?
07:49Yes, Mr. B, I think you are right about the bay leaves.
07:58Ah, Mr. Bottomsley. Lovely to see you again, sir. Your customary table, I presume?
08:06Splendid.
08:09Here you go.
08:13Come on, buddy.
08:15Well, isn't this civilized?
08:19Eat it, Eddie. There's none for you.
08:25Do you feel a draft, Mr. B? I'm just a little bit cold.
08:29Here we go.
08:30Ah.
08:41Oh, that's still a little too hot. You know what? While we're letting that cool,
08:45why don't we find a home for our antique?
08:52There we are. Yes.
08:55You know, you don't find one of these very easily.
08:58Especially in such good condition.
09:01Won't that covetous Niles be mad when he sees it, hmm?
09:05But he can't have it, can he? No.
09:10Yes, he can't have it, can he? No.
09:18Dear God, I'm Aunt Shirley.
09:20Aunt Shirley.
09:25That number.
09:38Mrs. Goblachick, these new shirts, did Mrs. Crane ask you to buy them for me?
09:44Because I already have shirts just like these.
09:46No, no. After I wash, I pin them and wrap in plastic.
09:55You not like?
09:57No, no. I like very much.
10:02Thank you, mister.
10:05Oh. No, no. I'll get it.
10:08Oh.
10:16Hey, Dad, come on in. Daphne will be right down and we can go.
10:19Where's Frasier?
10:21On a date.
10:22Get out!
10:25About time, huh?
10:27You know, it's like I was saying to Eddie.
10:29This guy's gotta get a life.
10:31Niles, I left $60 on the desk yesterday and now it's gone.
10:36Is that proof enough for you?
10:38Are you sure you didn't misplace it?
10:40You know I didn't.
10:41What's going on?
10:42Ever since we hired Mrs. Goblachick, things have been disappearing.
10:46Liquor, money, linens.
10:48So she's still around.
10:49Yes.
10:50Oh, we don't know that.
10:51And frankly, it's hard to believe that someone who will go out in a rainstorm
10:54to clean pigeon muck from the solarium skylight is capable of theft.
10:58We can't put up with stealing just because she's good at what she does.
11:02First of all, she's not good at what she does.
11:04She's brilliant.
11:09She's an artist.
11:13Tell you what.
11:14You give me five minutes with her.
11:16If she's hiding anything, I'll get it out of her.
11:18Dad, we are not going to coerce a confession out of this woman
11:21based on circumstantial evidence.
11:23Oven is clean.
11:25Now I scrub down dishwasher.
11:29Oh, Mrs. Goblachick, you dropped some money.
11:37Thank you, mister.
11:43All right, Dad, you've got five minutes.
11:46We'd like your famous appetizer for two,
11:49but that's your waiter and all.
11:51Thank you very much.
11:53So, Anne, tell me everything.
11:58Who is Anne Hodges?
12:02Wow.
12:04Well, I'm an insurance claims adjuster.
12:09Oh, I see.
12:11Well, I'm an insurance claims adjuster.
12:15That's what's so funny.
12:17When we met, you thought I was in sales, but I'm not.
12:21I'm in claims.
12:25Well, you know, we don't have to have just sharp talk.
12:31What are your dreams?
12:33Oh, my God.
12:35My dream is to be a senior claims adjuster.
12:43It's sort of the same, but you get a private cube
12:46and your own extension.
12:48I would have got it last year,
12:50but I paid a big claim the company didn't like.
12:53I knew I goofed the second I did it.
12:56It was just one of those shoot moments, you know,
12:58when you just say, shoot!
13:00Did you ever do that, make a big mistake
13:03and want to go back in time
13:05and just do something different?
13:11Oh, yes.
13:13Well, I'm going to run to the ladies' room.
13:16I just had to have that Dr. Pepper
13:18while I was getting dressed.
13:21Good evening, sir.
13:23Would you care for something to drink?
13:25Yes, as a matter of fact, I would.
13:27I'd like your finest bottle of Barolo, please.
13:30Why don't you come back in a minute
13:32and see what the lady likes?
13:38Doc?
13:40Hey, small world!
13:42How are you?
13:44I'm good.
13:46How are you?
13:48I'm good.
13:50Hey, small world!
13:52This is my cousin I was telling you about.
13:54This is Dr. Crane.
13:56Hello.
13:58Dr. Crane, I heard your show today.
14:00It was great.
14:02Is this your first time in Seattle?
14:05Yes, it is.
14:07I'm a fine arts dealer,
14:09but I'm considering a curator position
14:11at the Seattle Art Museum.
14:13That's impressive.
14:15That's nothing.
14:17She teaches kids ballet,
14:19but I haven't introduced you.
14:21Dr. Frasier Crane, Liz Wright.
14:29It's lovely to meet you, Ms. Wright.
14:34It's too bad you're not free tonight.
14:36You could have joined us.
14:38How about tomorrow night?
14:40I'd love to, but I'm on a plane
14:42tonight to Amsterdam.
14:44I have a job over there as well.
14:46I'm doing my best to convince her
14:48that you're better off
14:50when you're up against the Dutch.
14:52Could have really used your help there, Doc.
14:54You know, I'm just about finished up here.
14:56We wouldn't want to interrupt your day.
14:58It's not a day.
15:00It's just a little business thing.
15:02I'll just wrap things up here
15:04and then I'll come and help you
15:06wage the battle for Seattle.
15:10That's great.
15:12We'll see you soon.
15:15Ann, oh man,
15:17that place was a madhouse.
15:19I got so tired of waiting,
15:21I just decided to hold it.
15:26I'm so glad
15:28you picked Italian.
15:30I love macaroni.
15:34That's another thing we have in common,
15:36I guess.
15:38No, Ann,
15:40the first days are funny.
15:42Sometimes it takes a while
15:44for two people to click.
15:46Sometimes, you know, right away.
15:48I think when you do,
15:50you should just feel free.
15:52You are so cute. Click.
15:54What?
15:56Click, click.
15:58The sound of us clicking.
16:02Ann, um...
16:04You don't know what a relief this is.
16:06I've only had one date since my divorce.
16:08Well, half a date.
16:10The jerk actually called it off
16:12in the middle of dinner.
16:14I was a wreck.
16:16I didn't get out of bed for a week.
16:18Poor shaved my legs.
16:22Your appetizers.
16:24Oh, gosh, this
16:26is a feast.
16:28I'm not sure we'll need to order a main course.
16:30Well, this ain't gonna do it
16:32for me. I'm starving like Marvin.
16:34Mrs. Gablochek,
16:36we're friends here.
16:38No one wants to send you to jail
16:40or back to your country.
16:42We just need you to admit
16:44you took the money.
16:46I no take nothing.
16:48You wanna go to jail?
16:50You wanna go back to your country?
16:54Well, I was hoping
16:56it wouldn't come to this.
16:58But I'm afraid we're gonna have to show her
17:00the truth.
17:03But I'm afraid we're gonna have to show her the tape.
17:05What tape?
17:07It's from the surveillance camera.
17:09It shows you stealing.
17:13You might as well confess. I've got the evidence.
17:17I want to see tape.
17:23All right.
17:29I'll give you one last chance to tell the truth, Mrs. Gablochek.
17:31Because if we watch this tape,
17:33we'll have no choice
17:35but to call the police.
17:37I see tape.
17:39All right.
17:41I'm putting the tape in.
17:43Here I go.
17:49I'm pressing play.
17:53Now I'm switching the input from cable to video.
17:55Now I'll get ready to call the police.
18:01Hey, that's me.
18:03Yes, I used an old tape
18:05of your birthday party.
18:07But the surveillance part's coming up.
18:09Last chance, Mrs. Gablochek.
18:11It's coming up.
18:13Okay, I have to stay here.
18:15All right, all right.
18:17I stole.
18:19You did?
18:21I didn't think you know.
18:23I bring it back.
18:29Well done, Daphne.
18:31Oh.
18:33I'm so disappointed.
18:35I was really hoping you were wrong.
18:37Hey, hey.
18:39Did you see that?
18:41Watch this again.
18:45You must have put the camera down
18:47when we went into the kitchen for ice cream.
18:49Watch Daphne's mother.
18:52Watch Daphne's mother.
18:54My mother, she stay behind to grab a sweater.
18:58And our candlesticks.
19:02And our 20-year-old starch.
19:06This is plate I brought home.
19:08I take Mrs. Crane's
19:10leftover meat pie.
19:12But I brought
19:14plate back.
19:16Mrs. Gablochek,
19:18we're so sorry.
19:20It was a terrible mistake.
19:22We know now you didn't steal
19:24anything.
19:26Can you ever forgive us?
19:28Of course, mister.
19:30You're a nice man.
19:32And you're a nice lady.
19:46Are you sure that's all the little bunny wants to eat?
19:48Just a little green salad?
19:54Bunny had a big Mexican lunch.
20:00You know, if you're feeling full, then I'm sure they can wrap up
20:02the rest of that for you.
20:04Oh no, I'm just trying to pace myself
20:06so I have room for dessert.
20:08I hear the souffle here
20:10is well worth the wait.
20:18Excuse me, I'd better get that.
20:20That didn't even ring.
20:22Yes, it did. Hello?
20:26Niles?
20:28Is there something wrong?
20:30Oh dear God.
20:32Well, you just stay there on the floor.
20:34I'll be right there.
20:36I'm so sorry.
20:38Is everything alright?
20:40Well, actually, it's my brother. He's thrown out his
20:42back again. Oh God.
20:44Right in the middle of our magical evening
20:46too. Check, please.
20:50I guess I'm just going to have to put you
20:52in a cab. I'm so sorry.
20:54I was having such a lovely evening.
20:56Well, maybe we could meet for coffee tomorrow.
20:58Yes. Alright.
21:00Alright.
21:02Thank you very much.
21:04Yes, here. That's fine. You just keep the change.
21:08Shall we?
21:10You know, I'm just going to call a cab later.
21:12There's no sense all this food
21:14going to waste.
21:22You know what? I can't leave.
21:24I can't. It would be rude.
21:26Oh, don't be silly. Go!
21:28No, no.
21:30It's not like he's going anywhere anyway, is it?
21:36Okay.
21:38Well, are you sure you're not hungry?
21:40You're welcome to try some of mine.
21:44Well, now that you mention it,
21:46I guess I would like to try it.
21:48Help yourself.
21:50Okay, well, where were we?
21:52Oh, that's right. My husband.
21:54Anyway, he says he doesn't love me.
21:56He's bored. Blah, blah.
21:58He's suffocating.
22:00If only, I say.
22:02I would have gotten a nice little settlement.
22:06I mean, we were covered up the year.
22:10He had a sweet whole life policy
22:13to pay double for accidental death.
22:19I barred against it to get my Hyundai.
22:25Hey, who's the ravioli monster?
22:29Roar.
22:35You're worried about your brother, aren't you?
22:37Maybe we should just go.
22:39All right.
22:41Once again, I've had such a lovely evening.
22:47I hope I didn't talk your ear off.
22:51I can still hear you, so no.
22:55Gosh, you know,
22:57I'm parked out back,
22:59so I'll just slip out through the kitchen.
23:01I'm sure the valet can flag you a cab.
23:03Oh, okay.
23:05Well, here we are.
23:07The awkward part.
23:09Oh, it's not awkward at all.
23:11I'd be delighted to pay for your cab.
23:13Here we are.
23:19I hope I'm not too late.
23:21You know, I think I talked her into
23:23taking that Seattle job.
23:25Well, that may be the first to offer
23:27my congratulations to Seattle.
23:31And please let me offer my services
23:33as a cultural attaché.
23:35Oh, I'd love that.
23:37I think this calls for a toast.
23:39May I see your list of champagnes, please?
23:43And...
23:45I thought you left our date
23:47to go take care of your brother.
23:49Date?
23:51I thought you said you were just
23:53wrapping up a business meeting.
23:55Is that why you ate all my raviolis?
23:59Because you were just trying
24:01to get rid of me?
24:04No, no, of course not.
24:06Listen, there's a perfectly logical
24:08explanation for all this, which is...
24:10I'm sorry.
24:12I've got to take that.
24:16Hello?
24:18That didn't ring.
24:20It's very soft.
24:22Oh, gosh.
24:24Dad, that sounds serious.
24:26You stay put.
24:28I'll be right there.
24:30Ow, that's loud.
24:34Oh, Doc,
24:36what are you doing?
24:40This is exactly
24:42like my other date.
24:44I think I'd like to get to the airport
24:46a little early tonight.
24:48But, Miss Wright...
24:50I'll meet you out front.
24:52Excuse me.
24:54But, Liz...
24:56This one hurts, Doc.
24:58I had a soufflé coming.
25:00I'm sorry, Anne.
25:02I'm sorry, too.
25:04Sorry for thinking you were different
25:06than all the other jerks out there.
25:08But you're not.
25:10You're just another
25:12selfish, dishonest creep.
25:14You're right.
25:16I don't know what to say.
25:18Well, maybe you can
25:20come up with something
25:22before we have coffee.
25:24I don't know what to say.
25:26I don't know what to say.
25:28Maybe you can come up with something
25:30before we have coffee tomorrow.
25:36Are you seriously suggesting that...
25:38What?
25:42See you at ten?
25:44Okay.
25:46Okay.
25:56Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:58tossed salads
26:00and scrambled eggs.
26:02Mercy.
26:04And maybe I seem
26:06a bit confused.
26:08Well, maybe.
26:10But I got you pegged.
26:12Ha ha ha ha.
26:14I don't know what to do with those
26:16tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:20They're calling again.
26:24Thank you!