Frasier Season 11 Episode 2 A Man, A Plan And A Gal Julia
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00:00It's official. Dr. Lee says we're pregnant.
00:04I'm so excited.
00:09Hello in there.
00:13It's your Peter.
00:15Stop it.
00:18So, how do you want to make the announcement?
00:21Well, Frasier's on his way over.
00:23No.
00:26He's a blabbermouth.
00:27Let's have him and your dad over for dinner tonight, and we can tell them at the same time.
00:32If you already had a plan, why did you ask me how I wanted to do it?
00:35Well, because if you'd about the same idea, then I could have agreed with it,
00:39which would have given you the illusion of control.
00:44The waiting room at Cosmo.
00:48All right.
00:51I have just the quotation for the beginning of the announcement.
00:54It's from Robert Burns.
00:56Beneath the shelter of an aged tree, expectant wee things,
01:02toddlings, stacker through to meet their dad with flicter and noise and glee.
01:13Moving, eh?
01:15Yes, but not just because of the poem. I'm late for a hair appointment.
01:21Hi, you two.
01:22Hello.
01:23Good to see you.
01:25Well, now, I'll say.
01:27My usual, please.
01:30Well, I've ruined another relationship. I suppose you want to hear the whole sorry tale.
01:34No, thank you.
01:35Last night, Julia came over, and as usual, I made a mess of things.
01:40Did you say no?
01:42I said no, thank you.
01:45But I wish to unburden myself.
01:48I wish to remain in my good moods.
01:52Therefore, I demur.
01:53You demur?
01:54I demur.
01:57Besides, I'm sure I've heard it all before.
01:59But this time was different. I really thought she could have been the one.
02:06Wow.
02:08Silly me.
02:10To think that I could count on my only brother for a shoulder on which to lean.
02:16What you need isn't a shoulder. It's a swift boot to break you out of this pattern.
02:22What pattern?
02:23Your pattern of ruining things before they've even begun.
02:26And when have I done that?
02:28Let me see.
02:30Faye, Cassandra, Chelsea, Claire, Lana, Abby, Mia, Marie.
02:36Oh, all right.
02:39I knew I had a pattern. I just didn't think you'd remember the names.
02:44The minute you develop feelings for someone, you get scared and find some way to sabotage things.
02:50I'd like to strike you, of course, but you speak the truth.
02:56Tell you what, I will never find a happy relationship unless I can break out of this maddening cycle.
03:02Well, all right, all right.
03:03The next time you find yourself doing it again, fixating, say, on some tiny fault of the woman, recognize what that is.
03:12You're feeling vulnerable.
03:13But don't give in to the fear. Commit to commitment.
03:20Commit to commitment.
03:26It's a bit glib, but nonetheless inspiring. Thank you, Niles.
03:30I'm going to call Julia, and I will not take no for an answer.
03:34I may have walked in here the old fault-finding, flaw-fleeing Flasher, but I leave a man committed to commitment.
03:45You said Flasher.
03:46I did not.
03:48I most certainly did not.
03:49You know, I heard you say Flasher.
03:50I've been saying my name for the last fortnight.
03:52Oh, hi, Dad.
04:05Before you say anything, if you know the score to the Mariners game, don't tell me I'm taping it to watch later.
04:12Dad, the odds of my knowing the score to the Mariners game are about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.
04:21Did, uh, Julia call?
04:22Nah, sorry.
04:23Oh, damn.
04:25Well, at least this little delivery will cheer me up.
04:28My new Frette hand towels have arrived.
04:33Direct from Italy, I give you the Spugna con Frangia, with the tulle lace insert.
04:42Sounds fancy. Am I allowed to dry my hands on them?
04:45Well, you may miss the luxurious feel of your trouser fronts, but yes.
04:52You know, if you're really down about this Julia thing, you can come with me and Eddie to the circus.
04:58We're really going to the V-E-T, but if I say that, you won't get in the car.
05:05Thanks anyway, Dad.
05:06I'll just see you at Niles' and Daphne's for dinner, all right?
05:10Maybe I'll take in a movie.
05:12Oh, what are you going to go see?
05:13Well, there's this new Russian film in town about a Crimean war vet.
05:18No, I don't!
05:20What, did it kill you to say Crimean war circus?
05:23Oh, I'm so sorry, Dad. I...
05:27Oh, no.
05:29Julia, you got my message.
05:33What message? I actually came because I think I dropped an earring here last night.
05:38Oh, I'm sorry. Please, come in.
05:45So, what did it look like?
05:48Oh, it was just a small diamond stud.
05:51Right, okay, yeah, you check there.
05:53So, what was this message?
05:57Oh, I just said that I found you bright and beautiful and engaging.
06:07And then...
06:11There was a sonnet.
06:17Fair love's ship, ne'er sailed o'er unstormed seas,
06:23The fickle star is her compass, bright and cruel.
06:30It's pretty sappy stuff, huh?
06:33No, it's sweet. Especially the end.
06:37So, you did hear it?
06:39Yes, but, Frasier, I'm not looking for just some office romance.
06:43I don't see the point in getting involved unless it's heading somewhere.
06:47That's exactly where I am in my life, too.
06:49After you walked out last night, I realized how badly I want to be in a real relationship.
06:56How ready I am to...
06:59Well, for want of a better phrase, to commit to commitment.
07:07You're not just saying this to get in my pants, are you?
07:10No. No, and if I did get in your pants, well, I'd want to stay there forever.
07:21I said that much more elegantly in the sonnet.
07:25You know, I just remembered where I may have lost my earring.
07:29Really, where?
07:30In your bedroom. Do you care to help me look?
07:32My bedroom? Well, we were never in my bedroom. I don't...
07:39Oh. I see.
07:52Let's hope Frasier's open is more reliable than ours.
07:56Serves you right for getting such a fancy one.
07:59Just temperamental. My Gaggenau is German-engineered.
08:03Probably needs more power than my building's old wiring can give it.
08:08Well, leave it to the Germans. Even their appliances crave power.
08:15So, when do you want to make the big announcement?
08:18I think a toast before dinner.
08:20Let's hope Frasier checks his messages after the movie, or he'll be headed over to our place.
08:26Oh, I'm sure he will. It's just as well not to have him here while we're cooking.
08:29I can't stand his backseat basting.
08:34I was just dreaming about us.
08:37We were in a boat floating down the Arno River.
08:41Have you ever been to Fair Farenze?
08:43Oh, it's maybe my favorite city.
08:45Oh, mine too. Oh, I knew we'd be a good couple.
08:49Have you ever gone there for Christmas?
08:51No, I've always wanted to.
08:53Me too.
08:54Let's go.
08:55Do you mean it?
08:57Sounds perfect.
08:59I tell you what, let's toast this decision with a glass of Chianti.
09:04Oh, that sounds good.
09:05Oh, shoot.
09:06What?
09:07I just remembered I'm supposed to have dinner at my brother and his wife's house tonight.
09:12I'm just going to call and cancel.
09:20Hello?
09:21Niles, it's Frasier. Listen...
09:23I just got out of the movie and it was so cold in the theater that I...
09:27I think I've...
09:29I think I've come down with a little something.
09:32I just... I just... I'm afraid I'm begging out tonight. All right?
09:36Oh, I hardly think a little dinner will make you worse.
09:39And besides, we've had a change of plans.
09:41Niles, for God's sakes, I just want to go home and get into bed.
09:45But Daphne and I have put in a lot of effort into making a very nice dinner.
09:50Help it if I'm sick. What if I catch pneumonia?
10:07If that's what you wear to the movies, it's your own damn fault.
10:13What the hell are you doing here?
10:14My oven's on the fritz. We left you a message hours ago.
10:18I'm sorry, Niles. You remember Julia, of course.
10:24Well, if he didn't before, he certainly will now.
10:27Excuse me.
10:30You lied to me.
10:31Oh, I'm sorry. Would you have rather I told you that I was in flagrante delicto?
10:36No. No. But you're still not excused from dinner, Julia.
10:39And I would be delighted to attend.
10:42We weren't planning on including Julia.
10:44Well, what do you want me to do? Give her 50 bucks and tell her to beat it?
10:49Ten years. If I still needed a cane after that long, I'd dump my physical therapist
10:55and find one who knows what they're doing.
11:00Hello.
11:02Well, actually, this is her. She's also my daughter-in-law.
11:06Daphne, this is Julia.
11:08Sorry about that.
11:09That's all right. And just so you know, he wouldn't need the cane so much if he'd stretch more.
11:15I would have thought that part of your job was making sure he stretched.
11:18Yes, but I can't be here day and night.
11:22Oh, I'm sorry. For some reason, I thought you lived here.
11:26Well, I don't.
11:32How about some Mozart to make things festive?
11:35Ah.
11:37Oh, I'm not sure I'd call that festive.
11:40Well, then you'd be wrong, as it is from the Salzburg Music Festival.
11:47How about something a little more contemporary?
11:49Oh, all right. I believe I have. Oh, Michael Nyman's The Contemporary Trumpet.
11:53What are you, a hundred?
11:58Nothing there, my little wasp.
12:01Nothing there, my little wasp.
12:05Oh, thank you, nice. Thank you very much.
12:08Oh, perfect. Thank you.
12:14Just take it, just take it.
12:20She, uh, shoots from the hip, this one.
12:26You should hear what she says about my show.
12:28Oh, I just have to remind Mr. Pompous here that what we do on the radio is entertainment.
12:34Yes, Frasier and I have had many a chat about the difference between what he does and genuine psychiatry.
12:39Yeah, big difference. I mean, at least his advice is free.
12:43Not like those quacks who charge people 200 bucks an hour to whine about their childhoods.
12:49I mean, what a wrack that is.
12:52Frasier, may I see you in the kitchen?
13:01Frasier, what are you doing in the kitchen?
13:04You just asked to see me.
13:05Oh, so you haven't gone deaf.
13:10Why would I have gone deaf?
13:11Because that's the only good reason you sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a madman.
13:18Why would I have sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull-off?
13:26Niles, Niles, don't be so sensitive.
13:28That is one of the qualities I admire most about Julia, her bracing frankness.
13:33Now listen, it is partially because of your advice that I have chosen to commit myself to this woman.
13:39So please at least give her a chance.
13:42You're right, Bill.
13:44If you're happy, I'm happy.
13:46Please help me serve.
13:48Right, right.
13:51Dinner is served, everyone.
13:53If you'd come and take a seat.
13:56Here we are.
13:57Dad, from what you said here, Julia, have a seat there and I'll sit right next to you.
14:04Thanks, Dad.
14:05And before we begin, I would like to share some words of Robert Burns which have recently become quite meaningful to me.
14:14Beneath the shelter of an aged tree.
14:18Oops, that's me.
14:20Hello?
14:22Hey, what's up?
14:23No, no, I can talk.
14:27Oh, what kind of crap is that?
14:29Nail their asses to the wall.
14:31Is that chicken?
14:33No partridge.
14:34Yes, in a champagne and orange sauce.
14:36Because he's a pissy little bitch, that's why.
14:39I'm sorry, I don't eat birds.
14:41They live in their own feces.
14:43More for me.
14:47I'll just get some cereal.
14:49Well, let him sue.
14:51I'm starting to think you've got a little pair of panties on under that suit.
14:56You know, she really does work too hard.
15:01Back to what I was saying.
15:02Beneath the shelter of an aged tree.
15:05Okay, I give up.
15:07Where do you keep your cereal?
15:09Please, Julius, sit.
15:11We'll find you something.
15:12Oh, are you sure?
15:14Beneath the shelter of an aged tree.
15:15Niles.
15:21Let's not do this tonight.
15:23Not with her here.
15:24I want it to be perfect.
15:25You're right.
15:26We'll just take a better moment.
15:28I'll still be pregnant tomorrow.
15:30Exactly.
15:32Well, congratulations, Niles.
15:34Fraser didn't tell me that Daphne was pregnant.
15:38What?
15:39She is?
15:40Oh, no.
15:41Don't tell me she's just paunchy.
15:46She's not paunchy.
15:48She's pregnant.
15:49Niles!
15:55How could you do that?
15:57I'm sorry.
15:58It's my fault.
15:59I heard you in the kitchen.
16:00I didn't realize it was a big deal.
16:02Well, what does it matter how we came to know this glorious news, Niles?
16:07It's just wonderful.
16:08Two words.
16:09C-section.
16:10My sister's about your size, and when she had her kid, it blew out the whole region.
16:25Can I have cereal, too?
16:33So, the more pregnant she gets, the more the husband hits on me.
16:37And by the way, she was a model.
16:42That's me.
16:44Hello?
16:45Hey, how you doing?
16:47No, I'm just meeting my boyfriend's family.
17:02Isn't this fun?
17:06I'm having a good time.
17:08It's fun, isn't it?
17:12She certainly takes a lot of calls at dinner time.
17:15You know, that's exactly the kind of flaw that the old Frazier would have seized upon as a pretext to end the relationship.
17:22But I know now that that impulse to run is really an indication that my feelings for her are just deepening.
17:30And, uh...
17:34Gone are the days when I would have said something like...
17:41How rude!
17:46Oh, she's horrible! I've made a ghastly, ghastly mistake!
17:56Hey, Marty, you're a Mariners fan.
17:58They won in the 10th on Grand Slam.
18:07Who's ready to play that game of Pigsberry we talked about?
18:10I know I am!
18:12Let me just get that.
18:14Dad, I tell you what, I know how much you like to keep time, so you'll be the timer, and then it'll be me and Julia versus Niles and Daphne.
18:24How about that?
18:25Oh, that sounds good to me.
18:27Daphne, why don't you say you draw first?
18:29Okay.
18:36Oh, boy.
18:39Okay.
18:41Ready, set, go!
18:50The Ring of the Nibelungen.
18:51Right!
18:52Right!
18:53Yeah!
18:55Wow!
18:57Congratulations, you two!
19:01Great!
19:02All right, enough of that. Get your head in the game. We're starting from behind.
19:05Right, right, okay. Here we go.
19:12All right.
19:14Okay, Dad.
19:16Go!
19:18A ball.
19:19A balloon.
19:20An apple!
19:21A bomb!
19:22The circle!
19:23The circle of life!
19:25Uh, I don't know.
19:28Yeah, I'm looking at it.
19:30Well, maybe if you point at it harder, I'll get it. Give me something to work with, dummy!
19:35Oh, a hat! Oh, the cat in the hat!
19:38Abraham Lincoln!
19:40Time!
19:41From here to eternity, I've got that in!
19:47No, that's not it.
19:50What the hell is it?
19:52It's a cherry with a mustache and wearing a sombrero.
19:58It's Cherry Garcia.
20:08Oh my God, that is the worst drawing I've ever seen. I mean, even these cheaters wouldn't have gotten that one.
20:14Cheaters!
20:15I saw you guys mouthing at each other.
20:17And I think Father Time here cut us off a little early, too. Here, give me that pen. I'll show you how it's done. Sit down.
20:25Oh my God, I mean, this painting is just...
20:29Oh!
20:31Oh!
20:33Oh!
20:34Oh!
20:36Oh!
20:37Oh!
20:45Oh dear God!
20:48Are you alright?
20:49Oh, yes, I just...
20:52I think I need to splash a little cold water on my face.
20:55Here, let me just walk you to the powder room.
20:58I'm sorry.
20:59No, that's okay. You just take as long as you need.
21:08Shame on you!
21:14That woman couldn't breathe, and the three of you just sat there!
21:21You didn't exactly jump in yourself.
21:23That's because I mistook her choking for a sarcastic comment on my Pictionary play.
21:29You and the other have a content to let the woman I love die before your eyes. That's right, I said I love her!
21:38Oh, knock it off, Fraser. You don't love her. You're just trying to talk yourself into honoring your ill-advised commitment.
21:46How dare you presume to know the workings of my heart? You can't understand the kind of feelings Julia and I have for one another.
21:52You may as well ask me to describe the essence of music or the color of starlight.
21:59Nice towels, Fraser. You'd think a couple of old ladies lived here.
22:04Get out.
22:11Excuse me?
22:12I said get out!
22:15I'm sorry, have you just lost your mind?
22:17No, that happened earlier when we slept together.
22:21Are you breaking up with me?
22:23You're damn right I am!
22:25I want my purse!
22:27And I, my hand towel!
22:33I can't believe this. You're actually kicking me out?
22:38Do you want me to draw you a picture?
22:42We'd be here all night!
22:44Get out!
22:51With this bottle, I would like to both commemorate and apologize for this evening.
22:57Daphne, Niles, this should have been your evening and I selfishly monopolized every moment of it.
23:04Fraser?
23:05Not yet, Niles.
23:09Anyway, I handled things badly, both with Julia and with you.
23:18Both with Julia and with you. And I just hope that you can forgive me.
23:23Of course we will.
23:25Oh, look on the bright side. You could let her choke to death, but you didn't.
23:32Well then, to life, both the old and the new.
23:42Niles, I'm so proud of you.
23:47I'm excited for you, Daphne.
23:49Takes me back to when I had my kids.
23:53What are you hoping for, boy or girl?
23:55Oh, I don't know.
23:57It'd be sort of nice to have a boy.
23:59Niles, just look at the edging on this.
24:02Have you ever, have you ever...
24:05And look, this is all hands.
24:09Or a girl. Either way.
24:18Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
24:25Quite stylish.
24:27And maybe I seem a bit confused.
24:30Well, maybe.
24:31But I got you pegged.
24:36But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
24:43They're calling again.
24:47Tonight!