The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:30Flaming flies, hickory dickory dock, the fly went up the clock, ssss, attack.
00:41I don't like flaming flies, I'm sure they come after our flaming horse, that's a rule.
00:47Look at that hair, ooh, I'm not going to that hairdresser again.
00:50All that money, do it myself as usual, that's the best thing, ssss.
00:58That's more like it.
01:04Ooh, what a pong in here, smells like a fan dancer's dishcloth.
01:08I've been spraying the flies.
01:10What, have they got a bit old?
01:12I'll spray your flies for you in a minute.
01:15What are you doing coming in here looking like a pit pony on its day off?
01:20Well...
01:21Eh? Go and have a wash.
01:23I've had a wash.
01:25Yeah, and I had a doll's house for my birthday.
01:29That was 35 years ago.
01:31Oh, get on with it then, woman, I'm sick of it.
01:34It's been like this ever since that fella said he was coming, didn't it?
01:38Eli, call me there, Eli, brush your teeth, Eli, wipe your feet on the mat.
01:44I know you're house-proud, Nellie, but fancy sending the cat to be dry-cleaned.
01:48Don't be rickety-doodlers.
01:51Now, look here, look here.
01:53When Siegfried gets here, I want this place to look nice,
01:56not like an explosion in a fertilising factory.
01:59All this fuss over a flaming German?
02:02He may be a German, but he's also a friend, an old friend as well.
02:07Oh, old, all right. You haven't seen him since war.
02:10No, it was after the war, 1946, that's when me mam brought him here.
02:14Right, I can't think what me mam was thinking about, or me father either,
02:18inviting a German here for his Christmas dinner.
02:21What was I doing while he was stuffing his guts, eh?
02:24Up at the Flaming Sharphead one night, fighting this guy.
02:27Mm-hm. As far as you got was Preston Barracks.
02:30That's as far as you got.
02:32Hey, I were on secret work, weren't I?
02:34Oh, very secret, yes.
02:36Flogging petrol coupons on Ashton Market.
02:39That's not true. When they took me to court, I was completely exonerated.
02:43Yes, you should have been incinerated.
02:46Hey, you shouldn't have killed those flies, you know.
02:49No? No, they're the only friends you've got.
02:52Flammer!
02:54I'm going out.
02:56No, look, aren't you going to say hello to Siegfried when he comes?
02:59I mean, he'll want to feel one of us.
03:03It's not going to be me.
03:05Hiya, Flammer!
03:07Hello, Louise!
03:09Oh, flaming flagstones.
03:12Hello, little lad.
03:14Oh, it's so nice to see you.
03:16What time's your bus?
03:18Just thought we'd come in and have a look at you.
03:21Yes, well, just a minute before you sit down on those clean covers.
03:24Has he been?
03:27I think he's been.
03:29Isn't that your best frock?
03:31I haven't seen you wearing that since Aunt Ivy's funeral.
03:34Well, no, this is not the one, you know.
03:37That's the one with the silver going down it, you know, like that.
03:40And then it's got gold.
03:42And then it sort of goes in and out like that.
03:44You know, with blue droppings in between.
03:48You know, I got it from that shop in Hackington Street.
03:51They call it Homewrecker.
03:54I thought something was coming off when I saw that red rattle on your doorstep.
03:58I thought to myself, either our Nellie's expecting company or somebody's passed over.
04:04Don't miss nothing, do you, Nellie?
04:06Well, as a matter of fact, somebody is coming.
04:09Oh, it's got me all out of flunter.
04:12You remember that Christmas, you know,
04:14when they turned the Alhambra Mill, you know, into a prisoner of war camp.
04:18And when it came Christmas, that little bald-headed vicar
04:21came round to the house and said,
04:23have a prisoner of war in your home for the festering season.
04:27Well, it's him.
04:29Who, that vicar?
04:31No, silly Nellie.
04:33Siegfried. He was a prisoner of war.
04:36You know, he was tall for his height.
04:39And he had furrow, and he had...
04:41Big strong hands.
04:43I remember him. I remember shaking it.
04:48Yes. Well, he's, um...
04:51He wrote to us, you see, and he said he'd never forgot our kindness
04:55and he was going to come over here and thank us with this person.
05:00Fancy.
05:02He'll not know I'm married, will he?
05:06Won't it be a shock for him?
05:09What do you mean?
05:11Well, he fancied me.
05:13Get her off.
05:15Fancied me, you mean?
05:17Oh, I'll never forget that Christmas.
05:19We'd seen the turkey off.
05:21Me dad had gone to the pub.
05:23And you and me mam were washing up in the kitchen.
05:25And Siegfried leaned over the table with his eyes.
05:30And he said,
05:32would I like some pudding?
05:35And I said, I had to refuse,
05:37cos I thought, well, I didn't know where I'd put it.
05:42Well, he definitely fancied me.
05:44He said he would always remember me as his typical English rose.
05:47More like a Flaminina Sharper.
05:51Course, that was before Walter started courting me.
05:54I mean, he hadn't popped the question.
05:56No, he was a long time putting it to you, wasn't he?
05:59I'm just saying, you were a long time putting it to you.
06:03She thought you'd never get it out.
06:10You're very quiet, Eli.
06:12Ah, well, I've got a problem, haven't I?
06:14Why, what is it?
06:16That's very kind of you, Stan.
06:18Same again, Charlie.
06:20It's our nanny.
06:22She wants to have a jerry in the house.
06:24Well, she's bound to.
06:26That's the trouble with them outside toilets.
06:31Not that kind of jerry.
06:33You toil up a German jerry.
06:35That's him at prisoner of war camp, doing it war.
06:38Yeah, I didn't know they'd locked you and Nellie up.
06:42This lad's an idiot.
06:44It wasn't her they locked up, it was him, wasn't it?
06:47When they turned the Lambra mill into a prisoner of war camp.
06:50Oh, I remember that.
06:52Hey, old Jerry used to stand behind wire netting,
06:55watching old local girls go past.
06:57Oh, aye? Aye.
06:59I saw them digging a tunnel.
07:01Were they trying to get out?
07:03No, the girls trying to get in.
07:06Anyway, me dad invited a German home for Christmas Day.
07:10Oh, I remember that, Eli.
07:121946, it were, the vicar ran a campaign.
07:15Have a German prisoner of war for Christmas.
07:17I'd sooner have a jerky, meself.
07:20Ah, well, it wouldn't have happened if I'd have been at home, would it?
07:23I mean, Christmas is a time for peace and goodwill and forgiveness.
07:28You've got a bloody German in your house.
07:30Aye, right, ain't I?
07:32But I was away all during the war, wasn't I?
07:35Doing me bit.
07:37I wonder what happened to her.
07:42It won't be long now.
07:43I mean, look at the time, it's quarter past.
07:45We'll almost get a little ham for Tom this Christmas.
07:49That must be him now.
07:54Ha-ha! The music played, sir!
07:57You have not changed a bit.
07:59One or two more grey hairs, perhaps, but still a dear old lady, I remember.
08:05Mrs. Pledge.
08:07I'm not Mrs. Pledge, that's me mother.
08:10Oh, then you must be...
08:13I'm her daughter, Nellie Pledge, as was.
08:16Well, still is, come to think about it.
08:19Oh, of course, little Nellie.
08:22Last time I saw you, you were only knee-high to a duck.
08:26But now, you are older.
08:30Yes, well, we're all older, aren't we?
08:33After all, it was 25 years ago.
08:35What's become of your dear mother?
08:37Oh, she's gone to a happier land.
08:40You mean she has emigrated?
08:42No, she's joined the immoral Frong-on-Hyde.
08:46Me dad's there with her as well.
08:49I am so sorry.
08:51They were very kind to me.
08:53Yes, but when the reaper comes with his scythe, it's no use ducking.
08:59Let's go in.
09:03Aha! It all comes back to me.
09:07I remember him.
09:09It is all just the same as it was 25 years ago.
09:13Yes, except he's lost one of his cherries.
09:17Oh, I see.
09:20Is that your car out there?
09:22Yes, I just hired him for the visit.
09:25Oh, seaweed. Isn't it nice?
09:28Oh!
09:30Get out of it, you! Get out!
09:32It's that flaming German sausage dog from earlier next door.
09:35It always goes...
09:38Oh, it's quite a nice dog, really, you know.
09:41For a splash-out.
09:44Pardon me, Miss Nelly, but you do not appear to be very prosperous.
09:47What happened to the pico factory?
09:49Oh, nothing. Since me dad went, you know,
09:52I forgot to look after the factory.
09:55I've got to be up every morning at cock-shout.
09:58Cock-shout?
09:59Oh, well, I suppose you in Germany would say sparrow-cough.
10:03Yes, oh, it's hard seaweed.
10:06I'm pickling from morning until night.
10:09Up to me neck in gherkins and vinegar.
10:12And I'm only a woman.
10:13And that is where I can help you.
10:16We Germans like to get hard at it.
10:21Yes, I can see you've done well, Siegfried.
10:24I mean, after all, that overcoat didn't come
10:27off the ten bob stall at Ashton Market.
10:30I've done well. I have me own factory now.
10:32But all the time I work, I'm thinking of the Plage family
10:35and how very kind of us to me.
10:37Oh, thank you very glad, seaweed.
10:40I remember at Christmas your mother gave me
10:42a great plate full of turkey.
10:44And you come in from the kitchen and you lean over me
10:46and you very shyly you say,
10:48do you remember what you said?
10:51Yes, I said, would you like stuffing?
10:56Nellie, there is something I would like to do for you.
11:00Is there, seaweed?
11:03Wait a minute, wait a minute.
11:05Put that down.
11:06Ah, there you are.
11:07We used to fight.
11:08We used to fight on the football field.
11:10On the football ground.
11:12And in the pubs.
11:14Who is this?
11:15He's my brother. He's Kaleid.
11:18I'm very pleased to meet you, Kaleid.
11:24He's not Kaleid by name, he's Kaleid by nature.
11:28His name's Eli.
11:30British and proud of it sort of.
11:32But here, Eli, I come from Germany to help you
11:34but I see you're a very proud man.
11:37I'm not insulting you by offering you money.
11:39As you think not, very likely to kick it.
11:41You are.
11:42Many years ago, your family was so good to me,
11:44I wish to repay.
11:46This I will do by reorganising your pickle factory.
11:49I'm expert in such matters.
11:51Have a cigar.
11:52Oh, what a nice fella.
11:54You couldn't insult me, son.
11:56I seldom think back on those wartime days
11:58but when I see Miss Nellie, it reminds me.
12:02We're in a bloody mess then.
12:04That's why seeing Nellie reminds me.
12:06What do you mean?
12:07When I look at you, Nellie, I think of your dear mother.
12:10She has her mother's eyes.
12:13Ah, she's got her mother's corsets on and all.
12:15Shut up, you flamer.
12:17Ah, you couldn't insult me, son. You're too nasty fella.
12:20Hey, what part of Germany did you come from?
12:23Oh, I am from the south. I'm an Eidelberger.
12:26We've got a few of those.
12:28We've got a few of those in our pickle factory.
12:31Miss Nellie, you put yourself in my hands
12:33and you will pickle as you have never pickled before.
12:37Oh, how very considerable of you, Siegfried.
12:40Good evening.
12:41Oh, what are you two here for?
12:43I mean, you've already been once.
12:45Well, I want to go again.
12:47Oh, Siegfried, I bet you don't remember me.
12:50Fast cat.
12:51Of course.
12:52Little Nellie's cousin.
12:53You have the name of an English flower.
12:55It was so suitable, I remember it well.
12:58You are dandelion.
13:02Ah, and that's her husband over there, Burdock.
13:06Well, Eli, let us study your pickle workers.
13:09Ah, come on, son. I'll always cope for you.
13:11Danker.
13:12I like to get the feel of things before I begin.
13:16Cheeky article. I'll get rid of him, Nellie.
13:19Oh, no, Lily. He wants to do me a good turn.
13:23How do you mean?
13:24Well, he said it's something I should have had long, long ago.
13:28Well, doesn't your Eli mind?
13:30No, he's going to hold his coat while he does it.
14:00Picklers, picklers, halt!
14:12Break time.
14:14Front break, one pace forward march.
14:17I like that tune, What You Was Whistling.
14:20It means that if you're whistling, it means we are happy in our work.
14:23Hey, hey, Mr. Siegfried.
14:25You wish to ask a question, Stanley?
14:27Yes, Mr. Siegfried.
14:29That is good. By asking questions, we learn.
14:31But you have forgotten our new procedure.
14:33Why?
14:35Permission to speak, Mr. Siegfried.
14:37Granted.
14:39Can I ask a question, Mr. Siegfried?
14:41I ask the questions. You take the orders.
14:45Remember, I have ways of making you pickle.
14:51Shhh.
14:53I'll tell you what.
14:54What?
14:55Ah, I've been thinking.
14:57Oh, a medical breakthrough.
15:00Siegfried says those picklers, the way they pickle, it's pathetic.
15:05Aye, I watched them pickling the other day. It brought tears to me eyes.
15:10Say what you like, but that Siegfried's got those picklers pickling full belt.
15:15Well, they don't like it, you know, Nellie?
15:17No.
15:18They were singing protest songs yesterday.
15:20We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried line.
15:24You know what? If the Germans had been on our side in the war, I reckon we'd have won it in half the time.
15:31Ha, ha, Miss Nellie.
15:33Oh, how's it going?
15:35Production is up 80%. I have done all I can.
15:38Oh, oh, you've been absolutely wonderful to me.
15:42I don't know what I'd have done without you. I'm only a woman.
15:45We've only got your word for that, haven't we?
15:48Yes, you need a man about the place.
15:50Yeah, I do.
15:52Nellie, you never got married?
15:54No, but it wasn't for the want of asking.
15:57She asked everybody.
16:00Sorry, my friend. If only our Eli were pickle-minded, he'd have had that pickling shed pickling over in no time.
16:08It was Dad's fault, wasn't it? He let you go down the nick during the war while I was away fighting.
16:12Yeah, fighting to get out of the army.
16:14Oh, there I was, up to me neck in burning sand.
16:19Sand? You was a desert rat.
16:21Desert rat? More like a south port sand fly.
16:26Shut up, short arse.
16:28I, too, was wounded during the war.
16:31Oh, where?
16:32In the Black Forest.
16:35That must have been very awkward.
16:38And Nellie fought the Battle of the Bulge, you know. As you can see, she lost.
16:43Bull-legged, big-bellied, brewers boil you. You pay me counter.
16:50Won't you sit down?
16:51Oh, Nellie, my mission here is over. I must soon return to Germany.
16:55Oh, yes. Well, I suppose you want to get back to the bosom of your wife.
16:59I mean, to your wife and the thingy of your family.
17:04But I am not married.
17:06Oh, I should have thought that you'd have tied the knot in it long ago.
17:12You see, Nellie, years ago I found the right woman and then I lost her.
17:17Oh, fancy.
17:18Tell me, Nellie, what do you think of mixed marriages?
17:21Oh, I'm all for them. A man and a woman.
17:26No, I mean persons what live in different countries.
17:30Oh, I mean, what's the use of getting married if you're going to live in different countries?
17:34Oh, when we are married we live together.
17:36But that is why I come back to England, because someone here holds the key to my heart.
17:40Oh.
17:43I fell in love with her when I was a prisoner of war and I never told her.
17:47But, you see, if she were to decide to become my wife it would be very difficult for her
17:51because it would mean for her a great upheaval.
17:54Hey, Cheryl.
17:57Tell me, Nellie, am I entitled to ask this person to become my wife?
18:02Oh, yes, yes.
18:04Then I will.
18:06But first I make arrangements for our journey and I come back again.
18:10And if a certain person says yes, I shall be the happiest man in the world.
18:18Oh, I'm so pretty.
18:21Oh, so pretty.
18:23I'm so pretty.
18:25Oh, I better go and put me best bloomers on.
18:30Well, buddies, I've collected the strike fund.
18:33So are we all agreed on next step?
18:36Yes.
18:39Very well, then.
18:41Right, that's 17 pints of bitter and eight milks down.
18:45Coming up, sir.
18:48Ooh!
18:51Get out the lot of you!
18:53What the hell's going on here?
18:55Are you having a loving?
18:56We've downed tools.
18:58Hey, come on, get back to pickle shed, lot on you.
19:03Hey.
19:04What?
19:05We don't like these new methods.
19:07Why? Production's going up.
19:09That's always good skirts, but I'm not getting any more.
19:15It's that Jerry fella's fault.
19:18We've stood for a lot.
19:20He wouldn't be throwing his weight about if we'd have won't war.
19:26We did win it, you great blood blister.
19:29No, but what did he say exactly?
19:31Oh, can't tell you.
19:33Oh, go on, he can tell me.
19:35No, I can't.
19:36Can.
19:37Can.
19:38Can.
19:39Oh, well, you're best keeping it to yourself.
19:41Oh, well, I could tell you, Lily.
19:44Well, you see, hey, your Walter won't get, you know, talking about it, will he?
19:52I mean, because I mean, I don't want it leaking out.
19:55I'm just saying, I don't want it to leak out.
19:59Oh, don't worry about Walter, he can hold his tongue when he wants to.
20:03All right, Walter, he can hold it when he want to.
20:07Hey, old Siegfried, did he come straight out with it?
20:10Oh, no.
20:11At first I couldn't grasp it.
20:15Fancy.
20:16Well, he kept saying how he didn't like asking me.
20:19Our Walter were just the same.
20:21I had to egg him on.
20:22I had to get him in a position where he couldn't back out.
20:28Well, you see, Siegfried wants me to go and live in Germany, you see.
20:32So I should be leaving England and Coon as well.
20:36Oh, we'll miss you, Nellie.
20:38Well, why don't you come and visit us, eh?
20:40Why don't you come next Christmas?
20:43No, better make it this summer.
20:46If I were you, Nellie, I'd have that wedding as soon as you can.
20:49Because if you leave it too long, Siegfried might come to his senses.
20:52What a good idea.
20:53What do you mean?
20:55Well, you know how changeable men are.
20:58I mean, look at Walter.
20:59Yeah, he's always changing, isn't he?
21:01Especially his trousers.
21:04Hey, Nellie, can I be your bridesmaid?
21:06Of course you can, love.
21:08Isn't it exciting?
21:09Yeah.
21:10What about your Eli?
21:11Well, he won't want to be a bridesmaid.
21:14Well, I didn't mean that.
21:16I mean about you getting married.
21:18I'm going to live in Germany.
21:19What's he going to say?
21:21Well, he'll be upset at first.
21:22But you see, I shall just have to incinerate it into him.
21:27Oh, bloody hell.
21:30Is Lady Caroline at the lamb chop?
21:33I'll see you again then.
21:34So long then, for now then.
21:35See you again then.
21:36Oi, Lily Marlene.
21:38I want a word with you.
21:39Yes?
21:40Our picklers are revolting.
21:42Well, I know they're not very nice, but they're not all that bad.
21:45Not that you're not mean, knackered old nosebag.
21:49We're on strike.
21:50And all because of you and that fellow Siegfried.
21:52Oh.
21:54Well, I wonder how they got to know.
21:56About, er...
21:57I mean, we haven't announced our engagement.
21:59Well, you see, he was interfe...
22:02You what?
22:03Well, that's right.
22:04Siegfried wants to marry me.
22:06It's his war wound.
22:08Must have been in his head.
22:11You see, you'll just have to put up with me not being here, you see.
22:15Because I'm going to live in Germany.
22:17Promises, bloody promises.
22:19Nelly, Nelly, I am the happiest man in the world.
22:23See?
22:24Clever dick.
22:26The girl I met as many years ago, the woman I have loved from afar,
22:29she is willing to become my wife.
22:31So you know, Siegfried, what to do.
22:34I want you to meet her.
22:41My fiancée, Ethel.
22:43She walked past the prison camp every day and I blew her kisses.
22:47She blew them back and now we're going to be married.
22:50Oh, well.
22:51I hope you're very happy.
22:53Thank you, Nelly.
22:54And now we must catch our plane.
22:56Goodbye, my dear friends.
23:01The bloody German measle.
23:05Well, I must say, Nelly, that Siegfried led you right up the garden, he did.
23:10Yes, and dropped me right in the muck.
23:13Nelly, don't be downhearted.
23:15Remember the Dunkirk spirit, how they fought on the beaches.
23:18Them jellies have had us British with our backs to the wall before.
23:22Never have so many been against the wall by so few.
23:26But we can take it.
23:29Are we downhearted?
23:32Yes.
23:34Oh, Nelly, don't worry, love, you've still got me.
23:37Yes.
24:52Flaming flies, hickory dickory dock.
25:07The fly went up the clock.
25:13I don't like flaming flies.
25:14I'm sure they come after our flaming horse.
25:18Look at that hair.
25:19Oh, I'm not going to that dressing again.
25:21All that money.
25:22Do it meself as usual, that's the best thing.
25:28That's more like it.
25:34Oh, what a pong in here.
25:36Smells like a fan dancer's dishcloth.
25:39Have you been spraying the flies?
25:40What, have they got me old?
25:43I'll spray your flies for you in a minute.
25:46What are you doing coming in here looking like a pit pony on his day off?
25:52Eh? Go and have a wash.
25:54I've had a wash.
25:55Yeah, and I had a doll's house for me birthday.
25:59That was 35 years ago.
26:01Oh, get on with it, woman, I'm sick of it.
26:04It's been like this ever since that fella said he was coming, didn't he?
26:08Eli, call me there, Eli, brush your teeth, Eli, wipe your feet on the mat.
26:14I know you're half proud, Nelly, but fancy sending the cat to be dry cleaned.
26:19Don't be rickety doodlers.
26:22Now, look here, look here.
26:24When Siegfried gets here, I want this place to look nice.
26:27Not like an explosion in a fertilising factory.
26:30All this fuss over a flaming German?
26:32He may be a German, but he's also a friend, an old friend as well.
26:38Oh, old, all right. You haven't seen him since war.
26:41Sir, it was after the war, 1946, that's when me mam brought him here.
26:45Aye, I can't think what me mam was thinking about, or me father either,
26:48inviting a German here for his Christmas dinner.
26:51What was I doing while he was stuffing his guts, eh?
26:54Up at the flaming sharp edge, wasn't I? Fighting his kind.