ChuckleVision 7x15 - Monkery Business
Paul and Barry are going to a costume party dressed as monks and lose their way,so they follow another man dressed as a monk - who is actually the prior of a local monastery. They stay on to help with the pumpkin harvest but fall foul of Brother Tranquility - formerly known as No Slacking - whose vow of silence is shortly about to be broken.
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TVTranscript
00:00Some more washing up.
00:11Hey, where did that lot come from?
00:14Under your bed. All covered in fluff they were.
00:17You'll probably have to clean them before you can wash them.
00:19What was that?
00:21Oh, dear.
00:35Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:44It was the postman.
00:46Well, you can tell him to do his own washing up.
00:48Oh, he didn't bring the dishes.
00:50He brought this letter. It looks important.
00:53To Paul and Barry Chocolate Squires.
00:56Who's that?
00:57That's us.
00:58Is it? I've never been a Squires before.
01:00I'd better open it and see what it's from.
01:02I'm the one who opens the letters.
01:04Why can't I open it for a change?
01:06Besides, your hands are wet.
01:08Look, my name comes first. That means I get to open it first.
01:11You get to open it second.
01:15I just wish you'd let me open it second first for once.
01:28So who was the letter from then?
01:30Dan the Van. Here, listen.
01:32Mr Daniel the Vanial takes pleasure in inviting you to attend a fancy dress garden party
01:37at his house on the 21st of this month.
01:40Hey, that's tomorrow.
01:42The idea of the party, which is to celebrate ten years of Dan the Van being the man who can,
01:46is to be Robin Hood and his merry men.
01:49Guests should dress accordingly.
01:51Oh, dear. I haven't got any cords.
01:53Not cords. Accordingly.
01:55Means you've got to dress up as a character from the story of Robin Hood.
01:58I'll go as Mad Marion.
01:59It was Maid Marion. She was a girl. You can't go as a girl.
02:03Did Robin Hood know one of his merry men was a merry woman?
02:05Course he did. He ended up marrying her.
02:07Marrying Marion. Fancy that.
02:09What does that say at the bottom?
02:12What does that mean, then?
02:13Erm... Red Socks Velvet Pants.
02:16It's because it's a formal do, you see.
02:18Hey, we haven't got much time to sort our costumes out.
02:20I think I'll go as Sir Kevin of Cosner.
02:24What about me?
02:25I can't go as you.
02:26No, I mean, what can I go as?
02:28I've got time to worry about what you're going as. I've got to sort my own costume out.
02:35It's a pity I couldn't get hold of a Sir Kevin of Cosner suit.
02:38Still, wait till Barry sees this.
02:40I wonder where he's got to.
02:42Barry! Come on. You're going to make us late for the party.
02:45Coming.
02:47What's in the case?
02:48Oh, just some balloons and some face paints left over from Christmas.
02:52I thought I'd take them with us to the party.
02:54What do you think of the suit?
02:55Very nice.
02:58What do you think you're doing?
02:59I'm going to the party.
03:00You can't wear that costume. You can't go as Fryer Tuck.
03:03I'm not. I'm going as Fryer Chuck.
03:05Anyway, I thought of it first.
03:06Very late, I thought you were going as Sir Kevin of Cosner.
03:10Forsooth.
03:12Has anybody ever told you that's a nasty habit you've got there?
03:20Come on, let's go.
03:23I just wish you'd got a different costume, that's all.
03:26Perhaps no-one will notice.
03:28And if they do, we can always stay with the Tuckle Brothers.
03:31Come on.
03:41Go on, Mum, put a bit of effort into it.
03:43We'll never get there at this rate.
03:57This is it, Didlin Avenue.
03:59What number was it?
04:00I don't know.
04:01Don't tell me you forgot the invitation.
04:03OK.
04:05Well, where is it?
04:07Where's what?
04:08The invitation.
04:09I forgot it.
04:10Well, why didn't you say so?
04:12You told me not to tell you.
04:14Why is it I have to think of everything for both of us all the time?
04:17Ah, it's because you've got a bigger head than me.
04:19Pardon?
04:20Well, you've got a bigger head, so that means you've got more space.
04:23It's a good job I do.
04:27Hey, look, there's another Fryer Tuck.
04:29He's probably going to Dan the Van's party as well.
04:31Follow him and see where he goes.
04:33Right.
05:09Morning.
05:10Ah, brothers.
05:12We've been expecting you.
05:14Come with me.
05:15Expecting us?
05:16That's good.
05:17We won't need our invitations then.
05:18No, because I forgot it.
05:19On account of Paul's head is bigger than mine
05:21and he can't think of everything.
05:23Yes.
05:29The other Fryers are in the garden.
05:31We've been expecting you for some time.
05:33Other Fryers?
05:34Don't tell me everything's changed.
05:36Have they got no imaginations?
05:38Expecting us?
05:39We only got our invitation this morning.
05:41Invitation?
05:43To the party.
05:50We're here for Dan the Van's party.
05:52Where's the disco?
05:53You mean you're not brothers?
05:55Oh, yes, we're brothers.
05:56Paul and Barry Chuckle.
05:57Job's done.
05:58We're what you call professional sorter-outers.
06:00Our card.
06:02No, we're not.
06:05No job's too small.
06:07Have you got any sausages on sticks?
06:09Look, I'm afraid there's been some mistake.
06:11This is the monastery of Martin the Merc.
06:13We're not having a party.
06:15Well, who are you?
06:16I'm the Fryer.
06:17Are you sure?
06:18Well, of course I'm sure.
06:19I've been the Fryer here for 20 years.
06:21Now, if you'll excuse me, I have something else to do.
06:23I've a pumpkin picking to organise and we're short-handed.
06:26You can find your own way out.
06:29He's obviously got a Fryer engagement.
06:31Get it?
06:32Fryer engagement.
06:34I don't know why I bother with you sometimes.
06:40I've read about these monks.
06:42They grow and sell pumpkins.
06:43They're their only means of support.
06:45Hmm.
06:46What's up?
06:47Well, I feel guilty leaving them like this.
06:49Poor old bloke's getting on a bit, you know.
06:51I think we should help them with the harvest.
06:54Hey, besides, great things from little pumpkins grow.
06:58And a place like this, bound to need work doing it now and then.
07:01And if we create a good impression, they'll call on us.
07:04What about the party?
07:05We can go to the party later.
07:07This can be our good deed for the day.
07:08Sort of all hands to the pumpkins?
07:10That's it. Come on.
07:29Hmm.
07:44We were wondering if we could help you with your pumpkin picking.
07:46Oh, yes, you certainly could.
07:48But it must be understood that we couldn't afford to pay you.
07:51Oh, we wouldn't want paying. We'd do it for Goodwill.
07:53Who's he?
07:54Who?
07:55Goodwill.
07:56One of Robin Hood's merry men.
07:57Oh, well, in that case, come inside.
07:59I'll show you around.
08:08This way.
08:10Oh, this way.
08:22Here we are, the pumpkins.
08:26Is that all of them? This won't take long.
08:28Oh, no, no. These are our special ones.
08:31These pumpkins have won first prize in the local show every year for the past 20 years.
08:37The others are in the field over there.
08:39These are our pride and joy.
08:41These are the pumpkins we want picking for the produce show this afternoon.
08:45Oh, we'll start with these, then.
08:46Don't worry about a thing. We're here to help you.
08:49Brother tranquility.
08:51Yes, a sad case.
08:56He hasn't spoken since he first arrived.
08:59We think that he had some sort of nasty experience in the outside world.
09:04I'll leave you in his charge.
09:06Make sure he doesn't say anything, because if he does, he'll have to leave the monastery.
09:10And he's happy here.
09:12Doesn't look too happy to me.
09:14Don't worry. We'll take care of him.
09:16If you'll excuse me.
09:26I'll leave you in brother tranquility's capable hands.
09:30He's just going to ring the lunch bell.
09:32You'll join us, of course.
09:34Oh, goody, I'm starving.
09:55Oh, dear.
10:25Oh, have you got that?
10:54Got what?
10:55When he nods his head, you pull your rope.
10:57Oh, is that right?
10:59When you nod your head, I pull the rope?
11:24Oh, dear.
11:54Oh, dear.
12:24Oh, dear.
12:40I think I'll have double fish fingers and chips and chocolate sponge with chocolate sauce.
12:44Can I get the bread and butter?
12:56Is that it?
12:57Shut up and eat your pumpkin. It's good for you.
13:00I do apologise for brother Barry.
13:03Paul?
13:04What?
13:05Why does he have to sit over there?
13:07Because he's taken a vow of silence.
13:09Well, if he brings it back, can he come and sit over here?
13:11Of course he can't.
13:12But remember, we're trying to create a good impression.
13:15I know.
13:17I'll give this pumpkin to brother tranquillity.
13:21See? We'll have him eating out of our hands in no time.
13:24Out of our pumpkin, more like.
13:26That as well.
13:27Oh, I've dropped my spoon.
13:30Stupid.
13:35Oh, dear, oh, dear.
13:39To me.
13:40To you, then.
13:41To me.
13:46What's happened?
13:48Well, you see, what it was was...
13:56I think we'd better be going.
13:57I think that's the best idea I've had all day.
14:10It's all your fault.
14:11A great impression you made.
14:13We never were any good at impressions.
14:15Can we go to the party now?
14:16Yes.
14:18No!
14:20A chuckle never walks away from a job.
14:22No, we usually run.
14:23We came here to help the monks and that's what we'll do.
14:25How?
14:26By helping them win first prize.
14:28Well, how can we do that?
14:29We can pick the biggest and best pumpkin and get it ready for the show.
14:32Can't we just sneak off to the party?
14:34There'll be plenty of time for the party afterwards,
14:36after we've polished the pumpkin.
14:37Follow me.
14:40That's the one.
14:41Come on, get it in the barrow.
14:42Do you know what?
14:43Old Incapability Chuckle would have been proud of us.
14:46Incapability Chuckle?
14:47Who was he, then?
14:48He's the one who was responsible for the gardens at Hampton Court.
14:51Was he?
14:53Either that or he was in court in Hampton and was found responsible.
14:56Either way, he'd be proud of us.
14:57Come on, get it in the barrow.
15:01Oh, dear, oh, dear.
15:05Now what?
15:06I know.
15:07We need a lever.
15:08Let's get a plank.
15:17Morning.
15:18Nice day for it.
15:35I'm just popping into town.
15:37I want you to make sure that the exhibits for the show are all right.
15:40And be kind to brothers Paul and Barry.
15:43They need a bit of understanding.
15:53There.
15:54That should do it.
15:55After three.
15:56Three.
16:01Now what are we going to do?
16:02I know.
16:03Get me a case.
16:23Go and get me some pumpkin leaves.
16:38What do you think of that?
16:39It's very nice.
16:41It is very nice.
16:48It just remains for me to congratulate Brother Tranquility upon winning first prize yet again
16:55and to thank for all their help the Tuttle Brothers.
16:58Chuckle Brothers?
16:59Of course it is.
17:01Silly me.
17:02Silly you.
17:03Silly him.
17:04And I'd like to congratulate Brother Tranquility on keeping his vow of silence
17:08because if he hadn't have done, he'd have been thrown out of the monastery.
17:11Never to return.
17:13Ever again.
17:14Or again.
17:15Or again.
17:16Or again.
17:17It just remains for me to ask Brother Tranquility
17:20as the person responsible for this achievement
17:23to pin first prize upon the pumpkin
17:26and then it's pumpkin dip for all of us.
17:30I wouldn't do that if I was you.
17:32Neither would I.
17:37Ah!
17:41Oh dear, oh dear.
17:52There, there.
17:54It'll be alright.
17:55We can all go to Dan's party.
17:57That'll cheer you up.
17:58There might even be some pumpkin pie.
18:01Pumpkin pie?
18:02I'll give you pumpkin pie.
18:04No need.
18:05We can get our own.
18:10Pumpkin pie.
18:11Pumpkin pie.
18:12Pumpkin pie.
18:13Pumpkin pie.
18:14Pumpkin pie.
18:15Pumpkin pie.
18:16Pumpkin pie.
18:17Pumpkin pie.
18:18Pumpkin pie.
18:19Pumpkin pie.
18:20Pumpkin pie.
18:21Pumpkin pie.
18:22Pumpkin pie.
18:23Pumpkin pie.
18:24Pumpkin pie.
18:25Pumpkin pie.
18:26Pumpkin pie.
18:27Pumpkin pie.
18:28Pumpkin pie.
18:29Pumpkin pie.
18:30Pumpkin pie.
18:31Pumpkin pie.
18:32Pumpkin pie.
18:33Pumpkin pie.
18:34Pumpkin pie.
18:35Pumpkin pie.
18:36Pumpkin pie.
18:37Pumpkin pie.
18:38Pumpkin pie.