Spanking the Monkey 1994 ‧ Comedy ‧ Stars Jeremy Davies Alberta Watson
About to stay a summer internship, promising young medical student at MIT, Raymond's mother, Susan, breaks her leg. Housebound and immobile, his father, Tom, makes Raymond stay home and take care of her. Susan's a troubled woman, and along with Raymond's own emotional strains, it leads them to intimate physical contact, which Raymond finds uneasy. He soon meets a high school girl, Toni, but his ability to handle starting a relationship with her is difficult, due to the emotionally troubling recent events in his life.
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Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Do
00:01:00I
00:01:24Said would you like another cookie nothing? What's the matter? Don't you like these?
00:01:30Just not that hungry
00:01:34They're supposed to be all-natural, but you can never believe what they say
00:01:39They give you these up at school. I don't think so
00:01:46I get tension in my little fingers, but I have too much preservatives you get that
00:01:51But my boys came home from their first year in college they were begging me for my stroganoff
00:02:04Actually, I'll only be home a couple days. I have a summer job in Washington
00:02:21How you doing?
00:02:40Just thank God. She's going to be all right
00:02:44That's the important thing to be grateful for
00:02:48You learn how to drive
00:02:51Fucking moron
00:03:02It was a tough year. I mean you left. She was all alone in the house with me traveling at all
00:03:09And the hormonal thing and the goddamn boring job at the library
00:03:14Oh
00:03:19Christ
00:03:22Once for pain the others for tension don't let her overdo it. What do you mean for pain?
00:03:29For Christ's sake Raymond. She's got a complex fracture. She does
00:03:35Where have you been for the last 20 minutes?
00:03:38He said she was depressed and she took pills and I said that she fell am I talking to myself or what?
00:03:44What's wrong?
00:03:48As far as the dog goes you take them on long walks, that's an essential good healthy walks twice a day
00:03:57God your mother's not gonna like that. She's gonna want you close by so
00:04:03Don't tell her about the walks don't tell her that's no good. She'll see through that
00:04:08tell her
00:04:10Tell her you're taking the dog for long walks
00:04:13All right, so tell her no scratch that tell her that I said to take the dog for long walks
00:04:19But that you are not doing it. What do I know to hell with me, etc, etc. Okay, but
00:04:25Don't take the dog on long walks
00:04:28No
00:04:30Don't listen you take the dog for long walks and you tell her that I said to do it but that you're not doing it
00:04:38Don't feed him anything but the prescribed food
00:04:41That includes the biscuits I do not spend a fortune on specialty dog food so we can eat garbage off the table
00:04:48There's a water form
00:04:51food should hold out for about a month a
00:04:54Month I can't stay a month. I'm supposed to be in Washington in two days. I
00:05:01Don't think you understand what's happening here, I don't think I do
00:05:04I'm sorry, right, but you can't go to Washington. Look. I know you work very very hard for it
00:05:09I'm very very proud that you got it. But look she just got out of the hospital. Who's gonna take care of her?
00:05:14Well, there's gotta be somebody yeah, but there isn't it happened at the last moment. This is my biggest trip of the year
00:05:18I can't do it. Look I've got sales
00:05:22Maybe you don't understand. This is a very hard job to get. Of course. I understand. Believe me. I'm very very proud
00:05:27The Surgeon General's office only hires 10 interns a year Raymond
00:05:32It's not the end of the world we all have to give a little back sometime, okay
00:05:39I
00:05:41Can't do it. I can't do it. Look I can't do it. Look I can't do it
00:05:47I can't do it. Look I can't do it. Look I can't do it
00:05:52As far as the car goes, you know the rules the cars to be used for emergencies only and that means what?
00:05:59Emergencies not for groceries not for movies and not for fun
00:06:10Okay, I'm giving you 50 miles to get home so the odometer better be this number by the end of the summer, okay
00:06:18Damn it. That's no good. You're gonna have to take her to get crutches and all that
00:06:22Tell you what, I'm giving you a 10-mile bumper here
00:06:28What if she's better in a couple of weeks can I go to Washington then I really wouldn't count on that happening, right
00:06:41What is this it's the dog he's got a
00:06:46gum condition once a week, okay
00:06:49Take care
00:06:52Don't worry so much
00:07:23You
00:07:35Here you see it goes back
00:07:39In the temporal parietal junction area and you do here too, it's more anterior than it is posterior
00:07:46Global aphasia follows a lesion involving most of the territory supplied by the middle cerebral artery
00:07:53This is the most severe type of aphasia affecting both speech and comprehension
00:07:59global aphasia is
00:08:15This patient demonstrates improvement in her ability
00:08:45Hey
00:08:47Oh
00:09:17I
00:09:47Should try to eat something
00:10:17I
00:10:33Like to not use the bedpan anymore
00:10:47Okay
00:11:17Oh
00:11:44Don't you go to MIT no
00:11:46Aren't you my belly? Yeah, I
00:11:52Know you go to MIT. Why'd you say no?
00:11:55How do you know me I go to Central and two years behind you
00:12:00Can get out of there fast enough. I know what you mean. I
00:12:07Heard you got a really impressive internship. Oh, yeah
00:12:12Would you hear that from
00:12:14People what people
00:12:17Kim Ross, do you know her? No
00:12:20She knows you how does she know me? I don't know. She just does
00:12:28Uh, I
00:12:30Heard those are super competitive. Are you interested in being pre-med?
00:12:35I'm strong in the sciences
00:12:37So, how'd you like your first year?
00:12:40Huh, it's not everything's cracked up to be I got the catalog maybe we could go through it sometime maybe
00:12:50Ah, oh I can't do it it hurts too much to stand, right?
00:13:03Think I'm gaining weight. No, you're sure
00:13:09I
00:13:39I
00:13:57Where'd you walk the dog
00:13:59by Trinity Road
00:14:01You're doing way over there
00:14:04Dad said to take him on long walks. Well, he doesn't know what he's talking about
00:14:09It wasn't that far really
00:14:11Trinity Road sounds far to me. Well, that's what I'll tell dad but
00:14:16Wasn't that far really?
00:14:18If you're bored, why don't you call some friends I
00:14:22Don't have any friends around here. Sure. You do about Nikki and some of those guys. I feel like calling them
00:14:30What about Mara O'Connell
00:14:33Why should I call her I thought you liked her
00:14:37Really
00:14:39Didn't you sleep with her last year
00:14:44No
00:14:47What gave you that idea
00:14:50It's just as well. She was sleazy. She was not she didn't like her. I
00:14:56Don't but that doesn't mean that she's sleazy
00:14:59You tell she had brown heels
00:15:04And what does that mean
00:15:07Why don't you show me that draft now I
00:15:17Don't know about this
00:15:19What?
00:15:20By insisting that HIV positive children remain in school the government can ensure they will not be ostracized the cost of painful and unnecessary
00:15:28psychological trauma
00:15:30Try that
00:15:33Ostracized it's a spell, right? Well stigmatized would be better
00:15:38Why?
00:15:40They would be scarred emotionally in a stigma as a scar or wound
00:15:45Like ostracized is fine
00:15:49And why did you ask me to read this
00:15:53Wait a second
00:15:55You should be a little more open-minded and less defensive about your work Raymond. I'm not defensive. I think ostracized is fine
00:16:01Hand me the dictionary
00:16:03Why just hand me the dictionary?
00:16:23Stop it
00:16:31I
00:17:01Turn around
00:17:32Looking for me. I was just walking the dog. You want to go for a walk?
00:17:40Actually, I was already doing that I
00:17:42mean to a particular place
00:17:57So, what's your father
00:18:01Uh-oh
00:18:03Uh-oh, I just kids are always fucked up not
00:18:09Pamela Hedden
00:18:13Pamela Hedden's father's drink and she drove his car into the MP last year all the way back to the meat section
00:18:27We're gonna talk about
00:18:31MIT
00:18:45You think everything would be wonderful when you get into a good school, don't you why so cynical cynical I'm not cynical
00:18:53Just a little sunshiny maybe
00:18:55What's that supposed to mean well, you believe in all the things your parents want, don't you you mean I'm naive
00:19:03Yeah, probably
00:19:05But you don't even know me well, I know your type I met people like you at school
00:19:11You see if I get this, right?
00:19:13You're gonna be a senior in high school. Haven't you applied to college yet?
00:19:16But you got your bags packed already got your number two pencil sharpened. You're all set. You're ready to go, right? I
00:19:22I
00:19:24Know why I brought you down here
00:19:28It's a good question, why did you bring me down here?
00:19:38I'm leaving
00:19:51Okay
00:19:56We can talk about college forget it, come on, come on, I just I'm sorry, I'm just giving you our time, okay
00:20:07Quantum mechanics, I don't like physics. No, no fizzy
00:20:14All right, how about
00:20:16Ecosystems under environmental stress. I
00:20:19I think I'm under environmental stress. How about you?
00:20:26Where's the dog? Oh my god, I have to go. Thanks for bringing me down here
00:20:49I'm disappointed
00:20:52You're not home a week you'll leave your mother alone without dinner I just walked the dog
00:20:58for three hours
00:21:00There's no way it was three hours
00:21:02Ray all I ask is that you take care of your mother. Is that so hard?
00:21:10I told you not to tell her about the long walks now. She calls me. She's all over my ass
00:21:16Look first you say take him on long walks. Then she says don't take him on long walks
00:21:20Then you want me to lie about this whole thing Ray. I don't want to argue
00:21:25Hey guess how many tapes I sold today
00:21:29Come on take a guess
00:21:32Nobody sells half a million tapes be realistic
00:21:36We'll use a little sense
00:21:41Come on try again
00:21:43A quarter million Jesus God's sake don't you know anything about sales? Obviously not. I
00:21:51Sold 11,000 tapes today
00:22:01You're a whale here
00:22:04Oh
00:22:08What the hell is the matter with you today shouldn't you have crutches by now
00:22:15All the literature says you should be mobile as soon as possible
00:22:33Okay
00:22:50Who'd you see nobody I don't care to play charades. Thank you a
00:22:56girl
00:22:57girl
00:22:59What difference does it make?
00:23:01What difference it makes
00:23:03I'm stuck here in this room
00:23:04and I've offered to help you complete an essay so that you can get into a good medical school and I'm not doing it so
00:23:10That you can play beach blanket bingo
00:23:21Tomorrow
00:23:22I think we forget about her. Well, then who was it?
00:23:25Tony Tony who Tony Peck?
00:23:29Who's she she's just a girl she got another year at Central. Oh Jesus Raymond
00:23:34What?
00:23:35She'll young for you, isn't she?
00:23:39I don't didn't ask her to marry me
00:23:44She pretty I don't know. Oh, you don't know whether you think a girl is pretty. Oh, this is unbelievable. Oh am I crying? Yes
00:23:53Let me tell you one thing Raymond you're a grown man
00:23:55You can do what you want, but you're not to do it under this roof while I'm here. God see
00:24:01Not well, this is my house
00:24:04Be sure to use a condom these are dangerous times
00:24:11What
00:24:14I
00:24:25Man please
00:24:37Sorry to bother you again
00:24:44To water my garden
00:24:47Is that what you call me no, I
00:24:52Want to apologize
00:24:56Not too happy lying around here all day
00:25:01I'm sorry
00:25:03I
00:25:11Need the skin on my foot is getting so dry and I can't reach it. Would you please?
00:25:16I
00:25:31Will not like that like what your hands first warm it up
00:25:35I
00:25:44Can never get your father to do these things for me anymore, why not? Oh, you know how he is
00:25:51No, I don't know how he is
00:25:54First of all, he's never here
00:25:58When he is he comes home in the crankiest mood
00:26:02So I just talked to him about it
00:26:06The other foot
00:26:15Once just talked to him about he is mad
00:26:21Then he doesn't want to talk and then I get depressed and I don't want to talk either
00:26:28We'll just say look this is very important to me I want to spend some time relaxing with you
00:26:32But you always come home so tense I think we could possibly enjoy ourselves if you gave it a chance
00:26:43Feels great, honey. Why don't you just say that to him?
00:26:50Can't change people after a certain age Raymond, what's the point of living if you look at it that way?
00:27:03God damn it. It just
00:27:08Never had a cast did you know?
00:27:32You
00:27:53What's the matter
00:28:02You
00:28:32You
00:28:58Nikki
00:29:01Yes
00:29:06Get the shit out
00:29:09What's going on?
00:29:11Not much over here
00:29:13Little of this little of that. How's spring semester?
00:29:18Not bad. Oh, yeah
00:29:21Too much work not enough partying. Yeah speaking of you want to come out I can
00:29:27Why not?
00:29:30I'm kind of busy
00:29:32busy
00:29:33Is he doing what?
00:29:35spanking the monkey
00:29:40Ray house college
00:29:46Like a cigar
00:29:50What are you guys been up to people's painters
00:29:53Will scrape prep and paint your house in two weeks or three or four or five or six?
00:30:00Oh shit
00:30:02Ten points for BAM
00:30:05Right
00:30:06See if you can do this
00:30:08Take a hyperbolic paraboloid in a cone and the paraboloid intersects the top of the cone, right?
00:30:14Now what is the volume of the cone?
00:30:18Founded Curtis, ah, will you shut the fuck up? I want to see if you can do it
00:30:21You know, you can do it. The question is can you do it do it? Okay, go ahead
00:30:27You start with the rectangular coordinates, that's that's the first half, right shut the fuck up I can do that
00:30:32I said shut up. You shut up. You shut up. Hey
00:30:42Give me my lighter
00:30:44Stunt Charlie sir, give me my
00:30:46Was gonna happen man. Give me look at it. Don't don't bang it like that. Don't fucking bang it
00:30:57Don't fucking bang you're on the big money some money track, huh?
00:31:04So, you know what you want to study I'm gonna major in English lit
00:31:10Fuck no. Hey, would you fuck heads knock it off?
00:31:17Ray come here
00:31:27If you want to go swimming right
00:31:30There's a little open spot of water down there between the rusty car and the logs
00:31:35What do you think?
00:31:41Should we do it together?
00:31:46I look as stupid as you Curtis. We don't think you're stupid. We think you're a pussy
00:31:50Fuck you, Joe. Oh, that's enough. Mr.
00:31:54Valedictorian, you know Ray the only reason I'm saying this is because you never do anything with us
00:31:59I mean you you didn't drop acid. You didn't go four-wheeling. You didn't go rock climbing. You didn't get any pussy either
00:32:05Now Ray, are you too afraid of the big pussy fish? Yes, so leave him alone, man. Yeah, that's enough. Let's leave him alone
00:32:12Let's let him go home to his red-hot mom. Yeah, she's hot as hell
00:32:16Let's let him go home to his red-hot mom. Yeah, she's hot as mommy. Oh
00:32:22Fucking believe Ray I belly just threw a punch
00:32:46Oh
00:33:12Don't worry about it
00:33:17I
00:33:22Come on Ray, oh, come on. Oh, come on Ray
00:33:29You guys promised you weren't gonna do this what don't look at me man I was taking a piss
00:33:46You
00:33:52It's time for me to leave I
00:33:54Just want to talk about making some new arrangements
00:33:58It's very easy to get distracted with your goals at this age, and I know because it happened to me
00:34:03I said that we don't have to talk about
00:34:06What do you want me to do?
00:34:08Call and Helen. Oh
00:34:10Lord have mercy on my soul. Your father won't allow her in the house
00:34:13We don't have to tell him. I'd be pretty hard to get away with
00:34:18Why does he have so many stupid rules
00:34:21Don't talk about him that way. Well, that's true
00:34:24It wasn't always such a crank. I find that hard to believe
00:34:28It wasn't when I met him. He had a convertible a beautiful apartment, New York
00:34:33We threw a lot of parties had more money than anybody. I knew oh so big deal
00:34:36If you've gone to medical school, you'd be earning a hell of a lot more money. Don't start that again. Okay, Raymond
00:34:44It's true
00:34:46Raymond
00:34:48You could always go back to school. I don't have the discipline you do. Oh, come on. Look at these books
00:34:53You read more than I do. I can't do it. Why not?
00:34:58Because that was the deal what deal
00:35:04Your father didn't want to have children, okay
00:35:07So what does that have to do with anything?
00:35:09No, it doesn't you could have found a way to go to school
00:35:13All right. Look if it means that much to you to leave I will call Helen. There's no guarantee. She'll be available
00:35:22I'd like to have my shower now
00:35:25Dad didn't want to have children
00:35:33What do you want me to do with this wash my back
00:35:44That a birthmark Raymond, but don't blame me if this setup doesn't give you any privacy
00:35:53Sort of shaped like a little shopping cart, isn't it? It's not the first time you've seen it
00:35:59Last time used to be a big hit around here
00:36:03You always got an erection when we played with this little boat made out of soap. I
00:36:08Called it the boner boat
00:36:13I
00:36:18Didn't like my
00:36:26This is dr. Joyce Wilson at the Surgeon General's office
00:36:29We were so disappointed Raymond couldn't join us this summer and when we got his essay on talking about
00:36:36Well, I've talked our budget office and he hasn't finished that essay yet we're still working on it
00:36:43Yes
00:36:51It's fine
00:36:53Good because I've talked to our budget office and they they're willing to double Raymonds disbursement so you could hire a nurse
00:36:58How does that sound?
00:37:00I'll have to discuss it with Raymond. I'd rather my husband
00:37:03Well, we'd love Raymond to come down this weekend
00:37:06What I know it's short notice, but we're having a conference and it'd be an ideal opportunity for Raymond to meet everyone
00:37:12I'll get back to you
00:37:21You sent them the essay
00:37:32You didn't have to let me keep working on it like some idiot when they already had it
00:37:36You were so stubborn about working on. I just thought you enjoyed it
00:37:40Or what indulge your poor bedridden mother
00:37:46What they say
00:37:49They're gonna give you some more money so we can hire a nurse they want you to go down this weekend. Oh
00:37:56Yes, yes, I guess they must have liked it quite a bit I'm not surprised you're a good writer
00:38:02Oh god, this is fantastic. Isn't it? Just just when you think there's no solution BAM. You got what you wanted. I'm happy for you
00:38:10I
00:38:11Guess it's kind of late to get a nurse by this weekend, isn't it?
00:38:14Hey, maybe we could get an Helen to come for the weekend
00:38:20Be that bad
00:38:24You get your crutches soon, right? Yeah be more mobile you'd be flying around here. Maybe you could even go back to work early
00:38:31I
00:38:38Guess I better start packing. Yep
00:38:43Should I call in here? No, I'll call her
00:38:49Do you need anything vodka tonic
00:39:01I
00:39:15Don't think I'll be seeing you again I can go to Washington. They give me more money I can go
00:39:22Which one do you like to work on which one do I like? Yeah, what's your main interest? I have no idea
00:39:28That's weird. Why is it weird?
00:39:31I don't know. I just thought you'd have a real passion for something. I
00:39:35Think I like organ transplants. Was that what you wrote about? No, I wrote about children with AIDS
00:39:40How come?
00:39:41Cuz that's what people say the future is
00:40:01I
00:40:12Just I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with I think I'm pretty comfortable with this
00:40:23Do you know your lips are moving
00:40:31I
00:40:41Can I ask you something what are you attracted to me?
00:40:49Are you relaxed I am relaxed. Can you stop talking, please?
00:41:02Do you have a girlfriend back at school or something? No, why because I think you're holding back for some reason I'm not
00:41:14Are you gay what
00:41:17It's totally cool with me because there's no judging sexual preference. What are you talking about? I'm just saying it's not an issue with me
00:41:27Why are you talking about me
00:41:31What are you so nervous about?
00:41:32I'm not nervous. I I'm saying I read a lot about gender politics and I'm totally comfortable with whatever. I'm not nervous
00:41:39Will you shut up, please?
00:41:40Don't tell me to shut up
00:41:43I'm sorry
00:41:46You do this you just keep talking
00:42:01I
00:42:31Doing
00:42:33What
00:42:35Meet me to prove something my god
00:42:44I know we shouldn't have done this. You're way too young
00:43:01You
00:43:18Farmer's cheese is very good for the bones
00:43:21loaded with calcium to hasten
00:43:23ossification
00:43:25Pineapple gives you acid to aid digestion
00:43:28You probably have no idea what your own cousins are up to do you
00:43:32Not really
00:43:34Richard's a bond trader just bought a second home in Rhode Island
00:43:39Kathy's a chiropractor
00:43:41Rochester
00:43:43You should visit them. I
00:43:45Don't get up to Rochester very often
00:43:48You could always call
00:43:51Just pick up the phone
00:43:53We were never very close
00:43:55Family's our greatest asset and you'll find that out as you get older
00:44:16Got the groceries and
00:44:18Watered garden James shower curtain and
00:44:22Helen's also with house and dog. She has a list of nurses. She can call so
00:44:26Everything's pretty much under control
00:44:31Why
00:44:33I have to tell you something. Why don't I have to close the door fine?
00:44:46I got a phone call from your little friend's father
00:44:50Who dr. Peck, that's his name, isn't it?
00:44:57Tony's father call
00:45:01He said you got too rough with his daughter
00:45:04He wanted to know if you'd ever seen a shrink and then there was some ridiculous comment about the state of your sexual identity
00:45:11Now we don't have to talk about it, but I think it might be a good idea
00:45:17Ready for more calcium
00:45:21Oh, that's not what your bones would say we're having a private conversation. Oh, I could take it. Oh, it's all right
00:45:28It's all right. Just leave it. I'll clean it up. You want to leave us alone now?
00:45:32Now Raymond is supposed to be at the train at 6 o'clock. Is that correct fine?
00:45:39You know Tom doesn't think I'm a very good driver. I haven't had an accident in 30 years
00:45:44Once someone bumped into me at a stop sign, but it wasn't my fault and every time Tom brings it up and Helen
00:45:51No need to shout
00:46:01I
00:46:07Can't believe a little bitch talk to her father. Hey, well, why did she do it? I
00:46:13Told you to watch who you fool around with or there would be problems
00:46:17Goddamn complicated. It's not exactly a physics problem. I may as well be
00:46:25Look some girls just don't know what they want
00:46:32There are times for everybody when sex is awkward
00:46:37You just can't force yourself on anyone I didn't
00:46:41Apparently she thinks you did but I didn't then why does she think you did?
00:46:47Look you're sitting like this, okay
00:46:52And we're just talking and and it got really quiet and she was staring at me and so I figured
00:46:59She wants me to kiss her, right
00:47:02so I did and
00:47:05First of all, her lips were moving. They weren't moving at all. No
00:47:10Okay, so fine, so I was really careful and I went really slow
00:47:18But then she starts asking me what's wrong with me and am I attracted to her and am I gay
00:47:26for God's sake
00:47:30Okay, so fine, so I went faster and and I was I was just I just kissed her harder and I was I
00:47:38was touching her harder and
00:47:40like this and
00:47:42She freaked out
00:47:45You touched her like that
00:47:47Like what that was pretty hard. That's hard
00:47:53That's hard, isn't it I
00:47:59Guess you have to be gentle Raymond. Come on
00:48:06You know how to be gentle
00:48:18Your skin touch your hair
00:48:29I
00:48:39Don't think she should have talked to her father called your names
00:48:49You better get to bed got an early train
00:48:59I
00:49:29Can't sleep you just nervous
00:49:59I
00:50:21She keeps bringing me this goddamn cheese and I keep eating it
00:50:29I
00:50:59I
00:51:29I
00:51:59I
00:52:29I
00:52:44Wanted to be very
00:52:54We should both notice
00:52:59We should both notice
00:53:29Oh, oh, oh.
00:53:30Oh, oh, oh.
00:53:32Oh, oh, oh.
00:54:02Oh, oh, oh.
00:54:18Oh, oh, oh.
00:54:31We have some water, please.
00:55:22I missed his train.
00:55:26Just a minute.
00:55:28I'm sure he's around somewhere.
00:55:51Good morning.
00:56:10Everything all right?
00:56:18It's not a matter of trust, Helen.
00:56:24It's a matter of family.
00:56:27Don't lock the door.
00:56:34Where in the world have you been?
00:56:36After a walk.
00:56:38Without your shoes?
00:56:48What is this cheese doing all over the floor?
00:56:52I swear, this is the most disorganized household in all of America.
00:57:09Isn't anyone going to answer the phone?
00:57:17Hello.
00:57:19What's going on? Nobody answers the damn phone?
00:57:22Tom, what a surprise to hear from you.
00:57:25Don't start, Susan. I'm in the middle of a real jam here. Where's Ray?
00:57:29He's here.
00:57:30Is he staying in?
00:57:32That's for sure.
00:57:34Put him on.
00:57:39What's going on, Ray? Nobody answers the damn phone?
00:57:42I'm sorry, I was outside.
00:57:44Listen, Ray, I'm in real trouble here. I need some very important samples.
00:57:48Where are they?
00:57:49They go in my office. They're behind the desk. They're on the floor.
00:57:53The sample tape's called, How to Project a Power Image,
00:57:56Coaching for Top Performance, Exercise for Executives.
00:57:59There's a whole bunch of them. They're all together.
00:58:03Why don't you come home and pick up the samples yourself?
00:58:05Because I'm in danger of losing a major account, Susan.
00:58:08How many times have I told you to take a complete sip on each trip?
00:58:13If you ran your business right, you wouldn't have to travel all the time, would you?
00:58:17Because we make the money, let other people travel for them.
00:58:19What's the matter with traveling, Susan? I like to travel.
00:58:26Dad?
00:58:27She critiques my life while I'm out here trying to earn a living.
00:58:30Does that seem fair to you?
00:58:31No.
00:58:32Did you find the samples?
00:58:34No.
00:58:35Shit!
00:58:37Did you look behind the desk?
00:58:39Yes.
00:58:40God, you gotta find them, Ray.
00:58:43Did you hear me?
00:58:45Yes.
00:58:46You haven't touched the car, have you?
00:58:48No.
00:58:49How about the dog? You taking good care of him?
00:58:52The dog seems fine.
00:58:54How about the teeth?
00:58:56What?
00:58:57The gums, the gums. Are they red and bleeding?
00:58:59No.
00:59:02Please find the samples, Ray.
00:59:04But I can't find them.
00:59:06Well, you've got to. I'll hold.
00:59:22Where are you going?
00:59:23Out.
00:59:24Well, as long as you're here, you can help me take your mother to her doctor's appointment.
00:59:27You take her.
00:59:28Raymond.
00:59:29I wasn't going to be here at all, was I?
00:59:31But you are, and we certainly could use your help.
00:59:34I'm sure you can manage.
00:59:36He's probably got a girl to see.
00:59:38I don't have a girl to see.
00:59:39He's at that age.
00:59:40Helen!
00:59:42Can you do me a favor?
00:59:44Shut your big fat mouth for once!
00:59:47Helen.
00:59:48Helen, wait. I'm sorry.
00:59:49Okay?
00:59:50Please don't go.
00:59:51Just give me one second.
00:59:53Helen, I'm sorry.
00:59:55I swear to God, I didn't mean it.
00:59:57You said I had a fat mouth!
01:00:01I don't have a fat mouth!
01:00:31I don't have a fat mouth!
01:01:01Raymond.
01:01:22Raymond.
01:01:24I have to get ready for my appointment.
01:01:55What happened to your skin?
01:01:57You've got such lovely skin and you've rubbed it raw.
01:02:00Do me a favor and don't worry about it, okay?
01:02:03How do you expect me to get to town?
01:02:06Call a taxi.
01:02:08I don't want to call a taxi.
01:02:25Oh, shit.
01:02:27Here comes Walter Wheaton.
01:02:34Hi, Walter. How's it going?
01:02:36I thought you'd like to know.
01:02:38I saw your dog head into the woods behind my house.
01:02:41Oh, all right.
01:02:42I'm sorry.
01:02:43I'm sorry.
01:02:44I'm sorry.
01:02:45I'm sorry.
01:02:46I'm sorry.
01:02:47I'm sorry.
01:02:48I'm sorry.
01:02:49I'm sorry.
01:02:50I'm sorry.
01:02:51I'm sorry.
01:02:52I'm sorry.
01:02:53I'm sorry.
01:02:54I'm sorry.
01:02:55I'm sorry.
01:02:56I'm sorry.
01:02:57I'm sorry.
01:02:58I'm sorry.
01:03:03I'm sorry.
01:03:10No!
01:03:11I haven't said sorry to anybody!
01:03:14I haven't let you down even once!
01:03:16I haven't let anyone down!
01:03:19I haven't let anybody down!
01:03:21I haven't let
01:03:22Is he as picky as Raymond?
01:03:24What do you think?
01:03:26If he had his way, he'd wear sneakers all year round.
01:03:29But he is not about to wear sneakers to his sister's wedding.
01:03:33Don't I know it?
01:03:35He's strictly into that horrendous grunge thing.
01:03:40What kind of shoes do you like to see on a guy, Fran?
01:03:43Fran?
01:03:45I'm sure you have a preference.
01:03:47Mrs. Gibson, to you.
01:03:49He's too much.
01:03:51You know, I got a funny story about shoes.
01:03:54Would you lower your voice?
01:03:58I was at Jones Beach, right?
01:04:00And this short, chunky guy with pale white skin comes walking down the beach.
01:04:04And he's wearing a bathing suit, black socks, and black shoes.
01:04:09And he's got the biggest damn feet that I've ever seen in my whole entire life.
01:04:13I mean, they're gunboats.
01:04:15Raymond!
01:04:17And he walks over, and he sits down between these two beautiful girls in bikinis, right?
01:04:22So I'm thinking, there's got to be some correlation here between shoe size and...
01:04:27All right, that's enough.
01:04:29I think you know what I mean.
01:04:31Mrs. DiBelli?
01:04:34Dr. Marcus will see you now.
01:04:42Now, try and move around every day, all right?
01:04:45The healing process needs a little help.
01:04:48You should have picked these crutches up a week ago, Raymond.
01:04:51But apparently, your mother likes to spend much of her time in the horizontal position.
01:04:56Oh, God, what did I just say?
01:05:04The point is, with legs as pretty as yours, I'd hate to see this break heel in a bad way.
01:05:08You stop it, Roger.
01:05:10Say, Mom was just telling me about that internship.
01:05:14He's very impressed, Raymond.
01:05:16You know, I'd be glad to write a general letter of recommendation for any of your endeavors.
01:05:20Isn't that great?
01:05:21I remember when I was in your shoes.
01:05:23I got a great story about shoes.
01:05:25Raymond will call you this week.
01:05:30What was that ridiculous business with the shoes, for God's sake?
01:05:33Fran brought it up.
01:05:34Stop calling her Fran!
01:05:39Yes, she has a cast on her leg.
01:05:41Would you know any place that would have someone who could start either today or tomorrow?
01:05:46No, that's all right. Thank you.
01:05:50I told you to wait until Monday.
01:05:53I'd like to go this weekend.
01:05:55You should have thought of that before you insulted your aunt.
01:06:00I wouldn't be here at all if you hadn't taken those pills.
01:06:02Jesus, don't use that against me.
01:06:04Then don't tell me that I missed my train because I insulted Aunt Helen because it's bullshit.
01:06:09Not entirely.
01:06:11Did you have to tell your father every goddamn detail about what we did?
01:06:16I was mad at you.
01:06:18He called my mother.
01:06:20You're right. I shouldn't have told him.
01:06:22Then why did you?
01:06:24Because you got so rough.
01:06:26You didn't like anything that I did.
01:06:28I thought you were being weird.
01:06:30Weird? What is weird? Tell me what weird is.
01:06:32How many people have you kissed?
01:06:33I don't know.
01:06:35Look, I'm sorry if I made you feel like there's something wrong with you.
01:06:38I'm sorry too. I'm very sorry.
01:06:40But there's nothing wrong with me.
01:06:42Okay?
01:06:43But there's something completely wrong with you if you have to run home and tell your father God knows what about what happened between you and me.
01:06:48You were scared, okay?
01:06:56I thought you were supposed to be in Washington.
01:06:59My aunt couldn't stay.
01:07:03What are you going to do?
01:07:08I'm fucking him.
01:07:38Fuck.
01:08:09Maybe we could just sit and talk for a while, if you don't mind?
01:08:13Okay.
01:08:28Do you remember when you were a kid?
01:08:31Yeah.
01:08:33I remember.
01:08:35Did you ever think about that?
01:08:38No.
01:08:40You never thought about it?
01:08:42Maybe once.
01:08:45Phil Oakes hung himself with a belt over a door.
01:08:48He made a loop in the belt.
01:08:50Then he put the other end of the belt over the top of the door and then he closed it.
01:08:56Those vibes.
01:08:59So when do you think you'll leave?
01:09:01As soon as we get a nurse.
01:09:03Maybe we could get together before then?
01:09:07Okay.
01:09:31Fuck.
01:09:57God!
01:09:59How's it going, Ray?
01:10:01What are you doing here?
01:10:03I live here, don't I?
01:10:08So, you leave your mother alone for half the night?
01:10:11No.
01:10:13Three o'clock in the morning, isn't it?
01:10:16I don't know.
01:10:20Was it an emergency?
01:10:22I assume that it was an emergency because that's the only reason that you'd use my car.
01:10:32I found out Helen was here. I thought that was pretty interesting.
01:10:38I don't like to have her in my house.
01:10:42I know.
01:10:43Then what the hell was she doing here?
01:10:47So I could go to Washington.
01:10:49Sorry, I didn't catch that.
01:10:50So I could go to Washington.
01:10:52Oh, that's just wonderful, Ray.
01:10:55Leave your mother with my psychotic sister.
01:10:58What the hell do you care? Just look out for number one, right?
01:11:02Oh.
01:11:05And look what I found.
01:11:07I swear to God, I couldn't find it.
01:11:09Now I have to fly back there first thing in the morning.
01:11:12You came back just for those?
01:11:14These are what pay the bills around here!
01:11:21Now, I think we have a very disturbing matter to discuss.
01:11:27Frank!
01:11:35Here, boy!
01:11:46Lou Vaccaro gave me that dog.
01:11:51He'd gone to Australia to sell the discount chains.
01:11:57Fell in love with these pups.
01:12:07I know you and your mother don't think much of my work.
01:12:12It's not true.
01:12:13Come on, Ray, I know the score.
01:12:16We just wish that you didn't have to travel.
01:12:18We just wish that you didn't have to travel so much.
01:12:22It's the name of the game in sales.
01:12:31Sometimes I think I miss not seeing more of what's going on with you.
01:12:43This trip has been a disaster so far.
01:12:45I don't know what the fuck is happening to the video market.
01:12:56I don't think I can afford next year's tuition, Ray,
01:12:59with or without the loans and the scholarships.
01:13:05You spend a year at home, you can spend a year.
01:13:10We work together, we make some money.
01:13:12Then you go back to school.
01:13:15I have a problem with that.
01:13:17Can we talk about this, please?
01:13:20Sure, we can talk about it.
01:13:22Okay.
01:13:27If I just...
01:13:30I'll be goddamned.
01:13:34Frankie!
01:13:36Come on, boy!
01:13:37Come on!
01:13:38And here's my boy!
01:13:40Come on! And here's my boy!
01:13:42Hey, where you been?
01:13:43Where you been, you old rascal?
01:14:05How's the leg?
01:14:07Still sore.
01:14:10How sore?
01:14:13Keeps me up most nights.
01:14:15How's the leg?
01:14:17Still sore.
01:14:20How sore?
01:14:23Keeps me up most nights.
01:14:45Sorry.
01:15:10Sorry.
01:15:16Tom.
01:15:17Yes, my boy.
01:15:18Come on, he's been in the woods for a few days, he deserves it.
01:15:22What was your idea?
01:15:26If he came on with me as a salesman,
01:15:29I could double what I'm doing now.
01:15:35He doesn't want to go into the business with you, Tom.
01:15:37He wants to be a doctor.
01:15:38Okay, I don't have any problem with that.
01:15:41Why can't he be a salesman now and a doctor later?
01:15:45He's young.
01:15:51There's got to be some way for him to get back to school this fall.
01:15:57I'll gladly show you the numbers, they just don't add up.
01:16:12Hi.
01:16:13Hi.
01:16:17What are you doing here?
01:16:19I want to talk to you.
01:16:22This is a bad time.
01:16:25Why can't I come to your house?
01:16:27Is it because I'm too young?
01:16:28No, of course not.
01:16:30Look, can we talk later?
01:16:33I want to talk now.
01:16:34Show me your room.
01:16:36Okay.
01:16:38I want to talk now.
01:16:39Show me your room.
01:16:41My mother's sleeping.
01:16:43I'll be very quiet.
01:17:08Shit.
01:17:22I asked you not to do this, Raymond.
01:17:25I'm not doing anything.
01:17:27Shouldn't you be at home studying for the SATs or something?
01:17:30I want to see why Raymond can't have me over to his house.
01:17:34Raymond can have you over to his house, Raymond just can't fuck you in his house.
01:17:38Although I don't know why he'd want to after all the trouble you've caused him.
01:17:41That's enough, she's leaving.
01:17:43Let's see how you can have so much inappropriate control over his life.
01:17:47Is this how you like things?
01:17:50Little baby psycho babble.
01:17:52At least she's not old and pathetic.
01:17:57I'm sorry.
01:17:59I'm sorry!
01:18:03I'm sorry.
01:18:11I make you sick.
01:18:14Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?
01:18:17Who do you think you are?
01:18:33Fuck.
01:19:03Fuck.
01:19:22I'll get it.
01:19:25Mrs. Ibelli?
01:19:27Yes.
01:19:28Did you do this to my daughter?
01:19:30Let's get one thing straight.
01:19:32Your daughter was in my son's room with her shirt off.
01:19:35I'm not concerned about the sex.
01:19:38Why are psychologists always such permissive parents?
01:19:41Tony and I have talked about sex. I'm confident she knows what she's doing.
01:19:44You realize you could be facing a lawsuit, Mrs. Ibelli.
01:19:47A lawsuit? You must be kidding.
01:19:50You assaulted my daughter.
01:19:54Well, that would make the summer complete then.
01:19:57I break my leg, Tom goes on another business trip,
01:20:00Raymond skips his internship, I find these two humping in my house,
01:20:03and now you're telling me that I'm looking at a lawsuit.
01:20:06I'm not here to discuss your personal problems.
01:20:09Well, what would you like to discuss then?
01:20:13What do you think, I'm some kind of monster?
01:20:18I know I lost my temper, but I'm not a very happy woman right now,
01:20:21and if that's a crime, then you go ahead and sue me.
01:20:26I'm sorry I hit your daughter.
01:20:28I'm sorry I hit your daughter.
01:20:31But it was an accident. I was angry at Raymond,
01:20:36and she stepped in the way.
01:20:41But I never intended to hurt her.
01:20:44Wait a minute.
01:20:52I'm sorry.
01:20:53I'm sorry.
01:20:56My doctor has me on so much medication, I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
01:21:06Thank you.
01:21:10What kind of medication?
01:21:13Darva's hit for the pain in my leg, and Zoloft for depression.
01:21:30Are you okay?
01:21:33Cornea's scratched.
01:21:43I'm sorry.
01:21:47I told you not to come over here.
01:21:52Don't you even care what happened to me?
01:21:55Who gave you the Zoloft?
01:21:57My MD.
01:21:59Do you have an analyst?
01:22:02You think that's worthwhile?
01:22:07Of course you do.
01:22:10You're a psychiatrist. That was a stupid question.
01:22:15I'm sorry. I haven't offered you anything to drink.
01:22:19Iced tea will be fine.
01:22:21So what did you do when I left? What did you say to her?
01:22:28Getting a little tired of your evasiveness.
01:22:31Sounds like you're alone a lot.
01:22:34Alone a great deal of the time.
01:22:35You were probably jealous of Tony and Ray.
01:22:41Maybe you're right.
01:22:46What did you say your first name was, doctor?
01:22:51Go home.
01:22:57Go home!
01:23:06Oh, no. Actually, it's quite common.
01:23:09We're old and over the hill. They're young and just starting.
01:23:12Who wouldn't be jealous?
01:23:14Put another nail in the coffin, Henry.
01:23:17Take care now.
01:23:19And don't forget to bring me that doctor's bill.
01:23:26He's certainly a nice man.
01:23:36Why didn't you tell me about him?
01:23:39I don't know.
01:23:41Well, he's coming to dinner with Tony.
01:23:44No, he's not.
01:23:46We haven't had company in ages. It could be just what we need to pick us up.
01:23:51Are you out of your mind?
01:23:54Don't start acting like your father.
01:23:57There's nothing wrong with wanting to have people over.
01:23:59Does it occur to you
01:24:01that this might not be the best time to start entertaining again?
01:24:05I don't see why not.
01:24:10What are you doing?
01:24:12We'll see how Dad feels about all this.
01:24:16Don't do it.
01:24:23He won't believe you.
01:24:25Sorry, you have two seconds. I'll take care of it.
01:24:27Is this me? Thanks.
01:24:30Hello?
01:24:32It's Ray.
01:24:34I'm in a meeting, Ray.
01:24:36You have to come home.
01:24:38Are you nuts? I just got back to Seattle.
01:24:41It's an emergency.
01:24:43What's the big emergency?
01:24:46Is it your mother?
01:24:48Yes.
01:24:50Is she okay?
01:24:52No, she's not okay.
01:24:54Stop playing around, Ray. What happened?
01:24:55I can't stay here all year.
01:24:57I can't even stay here another day.
01:25:00Hey, big head.
01:25:02How's it going?
01:25:09You know, this is not going to change our financial situation, Ray.
01:25:13I still can't afford school next year.
01:25:15I know that.
01:25:17Then don't try anything dramatic because it won't work.
01:25:20I don't care where I go.
01:25:22But I can't stay here.
01:25:23Why?
01:25:25We're sleeping together.
01:25:29Who?
01:25:31Who do you think?
01:25:37I'm sorry, would you excuse me for a second?
01:25:40It's just a little family matter.
01:25:42Oh, of course.
01:25:49I want to talk to your mother.
01:25:51Why?
01:25:53Because I want to find out what the fuck is going on in my house.
01:25:56I'm telling you what's going on.
01:25:58Your mother wouldn't do something that sick.
01:26:01But I would.
01:26:03I don't know what you're capable of, Ray.
01:26:06But I've been married to your mother for over 20 years.
01:26:08I think I know her a little bit better than you do.
01:26:10I don't believe this.
01:26:12Hello?
01:26:14Tom?
01:26:16What the hell is going on over there?
01:26:18Why?
01:26:20I don't even want to repeat what he just said.
01:26:21Look it, he's very upset about having to stay here.
01:26:24Jesus!
01:26:26Ray, what is the matter with you?
01:26:28This is crazy.
01:26:30He doesn't want to be here.
01:26:32That's what this is all about.
01:26:34Tell him the truth.
01:26:36Would you hang up so I can talk to your father?
01:26:38No.
01:26:40Tell him the truth.
01:26:42Tom?
01:26:44Yeah?
01:26:46I'll call you later.
01:26:48I really don't need this.
01:26:49The birthmark is shaped like a shopping cart, isn't it?
01:26:51Well, you must have seen it in the shower.
01:26:53Well, what the hell was he doing in the shower?
01:26:55I need him to hold me up so I don't fall.
01:26:57It wasn't just a shower, Dad.
01:26:59Enough, Raymond.
01:27:01Listen, let me call you later.
01:27:03Can you take care of this? Get him some help.
01:27:05I'll try.
01:27:07I really don't need this now.
01:27:09Things are going very badly.
01:27:11I'm in a real crisis here.
01:27:13Honey, don't worry about it.
01:27:15I'll call you right back.
01:27:17Don't hang up, Dad!
01:27:20Come on, Tom.
01:27:22We haven't got all day.
01:27:24Hey, I'm done.
01:27:26I'm with you.
01:27:28Listen, I was thinking of something.
01:27:49What is it?
01:28:19What is it?
01:28:49What is it?
01:29:13The hamburgers are ready.
01:29:15Come on, before they get cold.
01:29:21Raymond, I went to the trouble to make this.
01:29:23Would you please get out here and eat it?
01:29:29Can I do anything around here?
01:29:41What's this bell doing here?
01:29:43What's this bell doing?
01:29:45Sticking out of the door?
01:30:09Stop it, honey.
01:30:10Stop it.
01:30:12Stop it.
01:30:40Stop it.
01:30:56Hey, Ray.
01:30:58Hey, Ray.
01:31:01Sorry about the other night, man.
01:31:04I spoke to Curtis and he says he's sorry, too.
01:31:07What are you doing?
01:31:09Choking my mother.
01:31:13Then I guess you better go to the house, huh?
01:31:16Look who's here, buddy.
01:31:18Our son, King of Kings.
01:31:21That's my Ray.
01:31:23It's like Papa ate his spinach.
01:31:28First, you take a hyperbolic paraboloid and a cone.
01:31:32And the paraboloid intersects the top of the cone.
01:31:34And the paraboloid intersects the top of the cone, right?
01:31:37Now you try and find the volume of the solid bounded by the cone and the paraboloid.
01:31:44Oh, my God. It's like we're in a Rodder stunt team.
01:31:47A stunt team?
01:31:49I don't know. Are we in a Rodder stunt team?
01:31:53How the fuck does that song go?
01:31:55Mein Hut?
01:31:56Mein Hut.
01:31:57Mein Hut.
01:31:58Here we go.
01:31:59Mein Hut.
01:32:00Mein Hut.
01:32:01Mein Hut.
01:32:02Mein Hut.
01:32:03Mein Hut.
01:32:04Er hat drei Ecken.
01:32:07Drei Ecken hat mein Hut.
01:32:12Und hat er nicht drei Ecken,
01:32:20dann ist der nicht mein Hut.
01:32:26Mein Hut.
01:32:28Er hat drei Ecken.
01:32:31Let's take a trip, me and you.
01:32:36Let's go to the scenic route.
01:32:40Get to finally, get to finally, get to finally,
01:32:47get to know each other.
01:32:49Yeah.
01:32:58Just to be alone with me.
01:33:02Just to be alone.
01:33:07Just to be alone with me.
01:33:20Hey! Raymond! Raymond!
01:33:25Where is he?
01:33:26I don't know, man. I don't see him.
01:33:28Raymond!
01:33:29What if something happened to him, Nicky?
01:33:31Look, we gotta find a way of getting down there, man.
01:33:33Can't climb down these fucking cliffs.
01:33:34Well, then what are we gonna do?
01:33:35If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:38If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:40If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:42If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:44If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:46If you can hear us, yell!
01:33:50We gotta go call the cops.
01:33:54Oh, fuck.
01:34:19What the fuck?
01:34:49What the fuck?
01:35:19What the fuck?
01:35:50Thanks a lot.
01:35:52What the fuck happened to you?
01:35:54I fell into an old quarry.
01:35:56A what?
01:35:57An old quarry.
01:36:00You all right?
01:36:19I know you did it all
01:36:24In spite of me
01:36:30In spite of me
01:36:37Late last night I saw you in my living room
01:36:42You seemed so close but yet so cold
01:36:47For a long time I thought we'd be coming back to meet
01:36:53Those kind of thoughts can be so cruel
01:36:58So cruel
01:37:17And I know you did it all
01:37:23In spite of me
01:37:30In spite of me
01:37:36Last night I told a stranger all about you
01:37:41They smiled patiently with disbelief
01:37:47I always knew you would succeed no matter what you tried
01:37:53And I know you did it all
01:37:58In spite of me
01:38:12Still I'm proud to have known you for the short time that I did
01:38:19Proud to have been a step up on your way
01:38:25Proud to be a part of your illustrious career
01:38:31And I know you did it all
01:38:36In spite of me
01:38:42In spite of me
01:38:49Late last night I saw you in my living room
01:38:54You seemed so close but yet so cold
01:39:00For a long time I thought we'd be coming back to meet
01:39:06Those kind of thoughts can be so cruel
01:39:11So cruel