Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30You
00:40Well, yeah, you got the detonators hell, yeah good
00:48Chucks you're rolling any minute now
00:52Bang you blow the door off that mother and a whole big-ass payload of chemicals is ours for the bacon
00:58Uh-huh. We're gonna use those chemicals to manufacture schnitzy most powerful drug available makes meth and bath salts seem like artificial sweetener
01:07Yeah, I just hope
01:09We don't have to use this
01:10on the gun
01:12for sure
01:14But we will if we have to or criminal
01:17Or criminals
01:21Yeah
01:28T-m-a that's just an f-i-i. I got a j-o-b and that's a stay alive
01:54But we will if we have to we're criminals
01:58Yeah, uh charlotta, what is it glail what why are we saying this to each other
02:04What why are we telling each other this? I mean, we know who we are. We know why we're here
02:09Why are we talking about it? I'm talking about how
02:12We're criminals and we're about to steal some chemicals to make schnitzy the drug. That's worse than meth
02:17Yeah, you're doing it right now
02:20Doing what what the hell are you talking about?
02:23Oh, you know what?
02:25You're probably still wasted from last night. Come on help me find these detonators. Yeah
02:30Charlotta
02:31What happened last night?
02:34What last night you said i'm probably still messed up from last night, but what did we do last night?
02:40partying
02:41drugs
02:44We're criminals girl, come on
02:46And and we pull so many crimes and give so little a shit that we get totally wasted the night before dude
02:52We don't give a shit
02:54But what specifically what specifically did we do?
03:00I don't even remember I to be honest because you know, but probably schnitzy though because we really love that shit
03:07And and it gets you so messed up. It's better than meth in my in my opinion it is. Yeah. Yeah, but but you're guessing
03:16I just think it's strange that neither one of us knows what happened last night
03:20Of course, I remember
03:22See we were partying
03:24You said that?
03:26I can see it now. We were partying with who dudes hot dudes like six-pack abs galore
03:34Oh, yeah
03:35Okay, but what were their names who cares?
03:39We're the kind of ladies that don't care what some dudes names are. No charlotta. I'm serious
03:44Tell me some of their names. There was sammy, but
03:48Sammy with an eye
03:50Who else?
03:52Timmy
03:54There was a why where the eye was supposed to be and an eye where the why it's supposed to be
03:58Oh, it was the hottest one of them all. Yeah, good old sammy and timmy
04:03It's real generic charlotta
04:05Real generic name. Oh, come on. You're shaking me while i'm holding power blocks explosives
04:11Dumbass, i'm sorry
04:15But I mean you saw it right like as I was describing it in your mind's eye, you know, I mean it was
04:21Real shadowy and unspecific. Oh, well, i'm sorry that my memory doesn't have the budget to shoot a killer party scene for you. What?
04:28You just said your memory doesn't have the budget
04:32Shut the hell up glail help me wire these goddamn explosives. Look at your hands
04:36You're just moving your hands around with cords in them. You don't you're not doing anything
04:39You don't even know how to do it. Well, I know how to wire explosives this
04:45Is bullshit that's enough get your shit together
04:50Oh
04:52What the hell see you didn't even make contact well, I mean, well I heard the sounds though sound came from somewhere else
05:03No, no, no, no, no, no, this is crazy. No, no, you know, what's even crazier what I feel like walking over there
05:09Oh, well, where where past where I feel like we supposed to be walking
05:14Yeah, i'm scared no glail don't do it just one foot in front of the other you just have to keep moving be careful
05:23Huh
05:24Where am I?
05:27What the hell
05:29What is this? Oh, it's a table with uh
05:32Coffee and donuts and oh my lord. They have jicama. They have jicama. Do you think we can take these?
05:39I mean, I feel like it's for us
05:42Look
05:45Holy shit glail it's us
05:47Charlotte we're on a tv show and it's the series finale
05:52Well, that sounds like the end
05:56Oh, hey, hey
06:00Hey, i'm mario from tender pipes I can fix any plumbing problem your house has for instance
06:08if your drains are clogged
06:11If you got pipes that need scraping
06:14I'm your guy
06:16I can do anything your house needs. I got all the tools necessary for the job. You got a broken down toilet
06:23No problem. Your whole house is flooding. I got you
06:27Just call the number on the bottom of the screen ask for mario. I'll fix your house
06:35Now with a new location serving east irmingblom
06:41Drink
07:04Sponsored by najari labs
07:07Nobody asked for it. You got it the complete collection of hobo railroad project
07:13all 19 songs including got my daddy and my mama
07:21Cats bro jammas play my harmonica as the world burns sexed one, two, three
07:2916 16 16
07:34And of course got my daddy and my mama
07:41If you grew up above the line, these are the ballads of your lives
07:45You've had it easy and this collection will walk you through all of your limited shallow emotions. So by now
07:51Wow
07:53What the hell just happened we faded to commercial charlotta
07:57Do you know what this means? Not exactly, but I want a page. It means that we're characters in a tv show
08:04This is the series finale, which means in about 20 minutes. We no longer exist. Oh my god. Glail. I want to live
08:12I mean, we live if we figure out what kind of fucking show we're on or we can figure out how to keep it going
08:17Well, you said fuck so i'm thinking it's premium cable. Oh god. Damn. That's good. Why is that good?
08:21Just artistically doesn't help our situation, you know, let's think this through. Uh, what can we control?
08:26Um, I woke up this morning. I went to meet pal at the store room to get explosives
08:32Um, what the hell is this on our faces? I don't know. Um, I came to meet you and then I um, what did I it's a map
08:39It shows where you went. It's for the audience. Try this say something that didn't happen. Okay, I went to the candy store
08:47And that didn't happen no if what you're saying is true
08:51In reality, he didn't do anything because we only exist in 30 minute increments
08:55I think we actually exist in our increments because this feels like a drama. Oh, really?
08:59I thought it was kind of funny. It hasn't made me chuckle
09:02Okay, if you said you went to the candy store, but didn't yet it still shows up on the map
09:08That means that we still have some control over our past and by extension
09:12Our future look candy. Okay, okay
09:15I woke up
09:16I went to get some coffee and then I went to the dress shop. I bought a gown and I left wearing it
09:23Holy shit. I want a gown too. I also went to the dress shop
09:29Oh my god. Nice. Who are you wearing?
09:31Alexander mcqueen and you zero cornelius
09:35Um, I also went to the jewelry store
09:38Enough with the outfit, you know
09:41Okay, all right, well, you know what this means right what
09:45We can control it. We can control our lives. It means we have free will
09:51It's kind of hard to jump in this outfit
09:54Okay, the important thing is we have free will so now we just have to no we don't wait what why not?
10:00Because I say we don't charlotta. Why would you say that? Oh, it's not charlotta
10:04It's me charlie sanders the creator of the show. I'm the one writing this
10:07Okay, if you're charlie the creator of the show and you're speaking through charlotta, where are you right now?
10:12I'm in an airplane over the pacific ocean. I'm going to bangkok shit. Seriously. Yeah, my brother lives there
10:17I'm doing i'm working on script on the plane. Okay. Uh, how old are you?
10:2236
10:2338 took me a couple years to get the show made. Come on, dude. It's 1 p.m. I just woke up
10:28I got super drunk last night though. I'm um, i'm hungover
10:33Yeah, I know
10:34I had a rough childhood that doesn't justify it. You're a grown man. You're making these decisions now
10:39Hey, don't judge me glail. You're criminal, dude. So are you?
10:43I'm, not i'm not a criminal the characters, you know, forget it charlotta come back
10:49Where was I you were nowhere the creator of the show took over your body we got to get out of this show
10:54Oh, no, there's another ad break coming
10:57You know what we've been here before i'm not bothered at all
10:59All right
11:01Do you crave adventure enjoy wine from whispered to vines?
11:07Or skiing in the moonlight or doing any water activity you want at any time
11:13Then visit ermine bland you're gonna love it because unlike what certain people tell you so humid
11:21Irving blam is great this time of year
11:24paid for by the ermine bland tourist association
11:29So
11:32How did I get here
11:34Hi, do you enjoy going above the line on the weekends to spend a little time?
11:38Do you enjoy making new friends by having them walk by you?
11:41Do you enjoy the breeze?
11:43I know I do
11:44Try reading in the park
11:46It's a great way to sit on a bench and see people from over the edge of a book books
11:49Am I right if you're lucky a stranger will interrupt you that's called a friend
11:54I made this commercial myself because I enjoy reading in a park so much. You should try it, too
11:59I've been here for four days. Goodbye, and thank you for your time
12:06Hey, it's mario from tender pipes
12:11I can fix any plumbing problem your house has
12:15for instance
12:17If your drains are clogged
12:19I cannot clog them
12:23If you got pipes
12:25That need scraping
12:27I'm your guy
12:30I can do anything your house needs
12:37I got all the tools
12:41Necessary for the job
12:44Just call
12:46The number on the bottom of the screen
12:50I'm mario and i'll house
12:54Just call
12:57Now with a new location servicing east ermine blam
13:02Tonight the dramatic series finale that you don't want to miss
13:07That you legally can't miss get your shit together
13:11That you currently aren't missing
13:14How will it end?
13:17Will it end below glail and shut up
13:21No
13:24Who do we have to fuck to get off this show
13:26Glail there is no getting off the show the show's all there is that is not the case because I spoke to the creator
13:31And he was on a plane and sitting at a desk somewhere in this other world
13:34So there might be another world, but we'll never get to it
13:37holy
13:39Shit, this is it
13:41This is the set of the show. We're on look. It's a camera
13:44Oh, these are those weird high folding chairs. Everybody sits. Why are they always these chairs? I don't know
13:49Look well, there are no people
13:51Who's steering the ship?
13:53We're all alone
13:55Oh, wait people. Hello. Hi. Can you help us? No, can you help us? Why aren't they talking?
14:03Oh, they're extras if they talk they make more money. Oh
14:06Um, hi. Hello
14:08I'll talk to you guys
14:12Holy shit, what the hell?
14:14Why'd you shoot him? I don't know. I saw that gun in act one. I felt like I should use it
14:19Chekhov's gun. Yeah. Yeah
14:21Well, we're lost somewhere between free will and determinism. Oh god. What are you Sean Paul Sartre? You know what?
14:27Maybe we shouldn't worry about our characters dying. Maybe we want this show to end right because then
14:34Then we'd wake up and we'd just be ourselves the actors. Mm-hmm. I can go out for some better roles
14:38I can focus on my puppetry. You know what?
14:41Let's finish this episode
14:44Let's finish this episode for luck for luck
14:49There's a truck, okay, uh charlotte like, uh, what if we don't blow the door off? I mean we don't have to do it
14:55I don't want to do it, but I feel like I have to
14:58No, but we we don't have to charlotte. We cannot do it. Just don't do it. I'm not gonna hit it
15:03Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Come on. Come on
15:12Well, I didn't even flip the switch it blew up anyway
15:18Maybe it doesn't even matter
15:21maybe
15:22It was just meant
15:24to be
15:43Oh, oh man
15:45Stay working with you. Oh, it's lovely. Absolutely. Lovely
15:49Back to our lives. Oh back to our families and lives. Oh, would you like to keep in touch?
15:53Oh, I would love to have my stephy call your step. That would be great
16:00Hello what's happening let us out, please help please let us out, please
16:10We're inside
16:13Yeah
16:14submitted for your approval
16:16Two characters trapped on the set of a show. They can't escape
16:20But when you think about it, aren't we all just actors in an under budgeted episode food for thought from weird city
16:35I just had the craziest dream me too
16:39Look at this.
16:40Oh, honey.
16:41This is amazing.
16:42Oh, it's really good.
16:43I want more.
16:44It tastes like bubblegum.
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